Anger is one of the most painful emotions we experience, and the most difficult to use wisely and well. Yet our anger is an important signal that always deserves our attention and respect. The difficulty is that feeling angry doesn't tell us what is wrong, or what specifically we can do that will make things better rather than worse. That's why I wrote The Dance of Anger -to help readers not only to identify the true sources of their anger, but also to learn how to change the patterns from which anger springs. The challenge of anger is at the heart of our struggle to achieve intimacy, self-esteem, and joy. Learning how to deal with it is worth the journey, even though there are no six-easy-steps to personal fulfillment and relational bliss. The Dance of Anger teaches readers to understand how relationships operate and how to change our part in them. It encourages readers to go the hard route.
Drawing on more than two decades of clinical experience, Dr. Lerner articulates her rich philosophy and thoughtful guidelines about speaking out, from sexual faking to family secrets.
A wise and compassionate book that will teach the reader much about the complex emotions our family and love relationships engender.
In The Dance of Intimacy, the bestselling author of The Dance of Anger outlines the steps to take so that good relationships can be strengthened and difficult ones can be healed. Taking a careful look at those relationships where intimacy is most challenged--by distance, intensity, or pain--she teaches us about the specific changes we can make to achieve a more solid sense of self and a more intimate connectedness with others. Combining clear advice with vivid case examples, Dr. Lerner offers us the most solid, helpful book on intimate relationships that both women and men may ever encounter.
Fear and Other Uninvited Guests: Tackling the Anxiety, Fear, and Shame That Keep Us from Optimal Living and Lovingby Harriet G. Lerner
With stories that are sometimes hilarious and sometimes heartbreaking, Lerner takes us through the most difficult lessons the universe sends us. We learn- How a man was "cured in a day" of the fear of rejection -- and what we can learn from his story How the author overcame her dread of public speaking when her worst fears were realized How to deal with the fear of not being good enough, and with the shame of feeling essentially flawed and inadequate How to stay calm and clear in an anxious, crazy workplace How to manage fear and despair when life sends a crash course in illness, vulnerability, and loss How "positive thinking" helps -- and harms How to be our best and bravest selves, even when we are terrified and have internalized the shaming messages of others No one signs up for anxiety, fear, and shame, but we can't avoid them either. As we learn to respond to these three key emotions in new ways, we can live more fully in the present and move into the future with courage, clarity, humor, and hope.