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Beyond Motherhood: Choosing a Life Without Children

by Jeanne Safer

The candid and inspiring stories in BEYOND MOTHERHOOD provide validation for women who have chosen to forgo motherhood as well as guidance for those who are making decisions about it. WOULD MOTHERHOOD SUIT YOU? If you are currently trying to decide whether or not to have a baby, don't postpone asking yourself this question. Really think about it, starting now. It's important to know as much as possible about your feelings, your conflicts, your fantasies, and your needs. Talk to your mate, talk to your friends, but most importantly, talk to yourself-and listen carefully, with an open mind, to what you have to say. How do you really feel about children? If you feel uncomfortable, is your reaction based mostly on inexperience-or are there other reasons? Do you think that some problem in your life-such as an unhappy marriage, depression, or poor selfesteem-will be solved by having a child? Remember that the only thing having a baby can solve is the longing for a baby. Think about your own childhood. What was good that you would want to repeat, and what was bad that you want to repair? Are you ready to confront your past in order to be a good parent? Is someone trying to talk you into pregnancy even though your heart is really not in it? Do you find yourself repeatedly making excuses not to have a baby, such as "we can't afford it right now"? Maybe you are trying to tell yourself something. As Jeanne Safer writes, "No carefully considered decision, responsive to your real feelings, born of honest self-examination, will be the wrong one."

Cain's Legacy

by Jeanne Safer

Shining a light on the darkness of failed sibling relationships

Cain's Legacy

by Jeanne Safer

In this book for general readers, Safer, a psychotherapist who has written for O: The Oprah Magazine, draws on 60 in-depth interviews with adult siblings, as well as her own experience with her estranged disabled brother, to explore the causes and consequences of sibling strife. Although she emphasizes the potential for healing and reconciliation, she also acknowledges that reconciliation is not desirable if the relationship is too toxic. She explains why siblings can't talk to each other and gives advice on dealing with siblings who sponge and managing sibling strife in a family business. The author has written several other self-help books for general readers. Annotation ©2012 Book News, Inc. , Portland, OR (booknews. com)

Cain's Legacy

by Jeanne Safer

Bonds between brothers and sisters are among the longest lasting and most emotionally significant of human relationships. But while 45 percent of adults struggle with serious sibling strife, few discuss it openly. Even fewer resolve it to their satisfaction. In Cain's Legacy, psychotherapist Jeanne Safer, a recognized authority on sibling psychology (and an estranged sister herself) illuminates this pervasive but hidden phenomenon. She explores the roots of inter-sibling woes, from siblicide in the book of Genesis to tensions in Freud's family history. Drawing on sixty in-depth interviews with adult siblings struggling with conflicts over money, family businesses, aging parents, contentious wills, unhealed childhood wounds, and blocked communication, Safer provides compassionate guidance to brothers and sisters whose relationship is broken. She helps siblings overcome their paralysis and pain, revealing how they can come to terms with the one peer relationship they can never sever--even if they never see each other again. A heartfelt look at a too-often avoided topic, Cain's Legacy is a sympathetic and clear-eyed guide to navigating the darkness separating us from our brothers and sisters.

Death Benefits

by Jeanne Safer

When psychotherapist Jeanne Safer lost her mother, she was determined to turn her loss into an opportunity for insight and growth. Through her own experience, her work with patients, and in-depth interviews, Safer shows that the death of a parent can be a catalyst for change. In this updated paperback edition, Safer includes a helpful resource section, including information on hospice care, rehabilitation programs, and more. Bold, surprising, and compassionate, Death Benefits challenges the idea that loss must simply be endured or overcome.

Death Benefits

by Jeanne Safer

Although five percent of the population loses a mother or father. . . few of us are psychologically prepared for the experience in later life. Death Benefits explores the uncharted territory each of us enters when a parent leaves us, and offers a blueprint for positive change in every aspect of our lives. Death Benefits demonstrates through powerful stories (including the author's own revelatory experience) how parent loss is the most potent catalyst for change in middle age and can actually offer us our last, best chance to become our truest, deepest selves. Safer challenges the conventional wisdom that fundamental change is only for the young; and that loss must simply be endured or overcome. Filled with moving and engaging stories of real men and women re-imagining themselves after a parent's death, it is a fresh, impassioned, and sophisticated look at self-transformation in later life.

Death Benefits

by Jeanne Safer

When psychotherapist Jeanne Safer lost her mother, she was determined to turn her loss into an opportunity for insight and growth. Through her own experience, her work with patients, and in-depth interviews, Safer shows that the death of a parent can be a catalyst for change. In this updated paperback edition, Safer includes a helpful resource section, including information on hospice care, rehabilitation programs, and more. Bold, surprising, and compassionate, Death Benefits challenges the idea that loss must simply be endured or overcome.

Forgiving and Not Forgiving

by Jeanne Safer

In our culture the belief that "To err is human, to forgive divine," is so prevalent that few of us question its wisdom. But do we ever completely forgive those who have betrayed us? Aren't some actions unforgivable? Can we achieve closure and healing without forgiving? Drawing on more than two decades of work as a practicing psychotherapist, more than fifty indepth interviews, and sterling research into the concept of forgiveness in our society, Dr. Jeanne Safer challenges popular opinion with her own searching answers to these and other questions. The result is a penetrating look at what is often a lonely, and perhaps unnecessary, struggle to forgive those who have hurt us the most and an illuminating examination of how to determine whether forgiveness is, indeed, the best path to take--and why, often, it is not.

The Normal One

by Jeanne Safer

In the first book of its kind, renowned psychotherapist Jeanne Safer examines the hidden trauma of growing up with an emotionally troubled or physically disabled sibling, and helps adult "normal" siblings resolve their childhood pain. For too long the therapeutic community has focused on the parent-child relationship as the primary relationship in a child's life. In The Normal One, Dr. Safer shows that sisters and brothers are just as important as parents, and she illuminates for the first time the experience of being "the normal one. "

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