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American Thighs

by Jill Conner Browne

"If I can save one woman from these thighs, I will not have lived in vain," #1New York Timesbestselling humorist Jill Conner Browne writes inAmerican Thighs, her handbook and memoir for the Hot and Flashy. Whether young enough to look "hot" or of the age to onlyfeelthat way (in flashes with buckets of sweat), every woman has given, or will give, ample thought to preserving her best "assets" (thighs included), so that the dread transition from "cute girl" to "ma'am" won't be quite so unsettling. Here are stories of growing up and learning about life -- usually the hard way! From disastrous haircuts and color jobs to fashion or verbal faux pas committed, from the kiss wished for but never gotten to the one that should have been skipped, these are the moments that mark each of our journeys from what we thought back then to what we now know. Since to say that Youth is wasted on the Young has got to betheunderstatement of all time, it falls upon Browne, as one older and wiser, to take a "Hit and Run" down Memory Lane for the sake of offering "Asset-Preserving Tips," with astonishing disclosures about: Why women have risked their lives just to get a little bit blonder How the muumuu has been fashionably resurrected as the "patio dress" Why it's important to always have a good photo of yourself on hand -- just in case How, no matter what skin you're in, to make it last a lifetime Why you can never trust anyone over eighty-five

God Save the Sweet Potato Queens

by Jill Conner Browne

Hallelujah! The Sweet Potato Queens are back! In 1999, Jill Conner Browne, royal boss of Jackson, Mississippi's own glorious Sweet Potato Queens, introduced them to the world in the hilarious bestseller The Sweet Potato Queen's Book of Love (which contained everything you ever need to know about Love, Life, Men, Marriage, and the importance of Being Prepared). But, fortunately for us, that was not the final chapter in the Queens' splendid saga. The Sweet Potato Queens still have plenty of stuff to say and valuable wisdom to impart about how they went from being Cute Girls to Fabulous Women, including: Dating for the Advanced, or Advancing The Joys of Marriage -- if you must. More Delicious, Death-Defying Recipes The Promise for Men -- six little words that will make any woman Lolling About -- the official activity of the Sweet Potato Queens And, of course, The All-True Story of the Two Most Wonderful Men in the World Not to mention: Reader Mail -- honoring the adventures of brand-new Wannabes and Honorary Queens from around the world If you haven't met the Sweet Potato Queens yet, this is the introduction you've been waiting for. If you already know the joys of Queendom, this is your official welcome-back party.

The Sweet Potato Queens' Big-Ass Cookbook (and Financial Planner)

by Jill Conner Browne

They're wild, beloved, and all-around fabulous, but with the Sweet Potato Queens, there are just never enough good times--or enough good eats. Well, now all fabulous women everywhere can have their own mountains of royal fun and food, because bestselling author and Boss Queen Jill Conner Browne is revealing her big-ass top secret recipes--and the events that inspired them--in The Sweet Potato Queens' Big-Ass Cookbook (and Financial Planner). And, of course, she's dishing up plenty of hilarious stories, including: * Queenly adventures in mothering *The tiniest bit of plastic surgery * The all-true story of the Cutest Boy in the World And, oh yes, as promised: * Sound financial planning. Tip number one: Hope that Daddy lives forever.

The Sweet Potato Queens' Book of Love

by Jill Conner Browne

To know the Sweet Potato Queens is to love them, and if you haven't heard about them yet, you will. Since the early 1980s, this group of belles gone bad has been the toast of Jackson, Mississippi, with their glorious annual appearance in the St. Patrick's Day parade. In The Sweet Potato Queens' Book of Love, their royal ringleader, Jill Conner Browne, introduces the Queens to the world with this sly, hilarious manifesto about love, life, men, and the importance of being prepared. Chapters include: The True Magic Words Guaranteed to Get Any Man to Do Your Bidding The Five Men You Must Have in Your Life at All Times Men Who May Need Killing, Quite Frankly What to Eat When Tragedy Strikes, or Just for Entertainment And, of course: The Best Advice Ever Given in the Entire History of the World. From tales of the infamous Sweet Potato Queens' Promise to the joys of Chocolate Stuff and Fat Mama's Knock You Naked Margaritas, this irreverent, shamelessly funny book is the gen-u-wine article. Visit the Sweet potato Queens Web site at www.sweetpotatoqueens.com

The Sweet Potato Queens' Field Guide to Men

by Jill Conner Browne

If the Nobel committee offered awards in Gender Relations, the Sweet Potato Queens would have the prize all locked up. These fine ladies have devoted an absolutely inordinate amount of time to the pursuit of love, marriage, and great sex, and they're just bursting to share their stories. Now their royal ringleader, bestselling author Jill Conner Browne, brings you The Sweet Potato Queens' Field Guide to Men, a hilarious (and highly instructive) handbook about the men we love to hate, and the ones we love to love, with special revelations about:--Why he didn't call--The sweetest revenge ever--The downright crazy things we will do for romancePlus, memorable tales of Queenly dating adventures, the shameless lowdown on looking as young as you feel, and more royal recipes that are guaranteed to bring him home each and every night.

The Sweet Potato Queens' Field Guide to Men: Every Man I Love Is Either Married, Gay, or Dead

by Jill Conner Browne

If the Nobel committee offered awards in Gender Relations, the Sweet Potato Queens would have the prize all locked up. These fine ladies have devoted an absolutely inordinate amount of time to the pursuit of love, marriage, and great sex, and they're just bursting to share their stories. Now their royal ringleader, bestselling author Jill Conner Browne, brings you The Sweet Potato Queens' Field Guide to Men, a hilarious (and highly instructive) handbook about the men we love to hate, and the ones we love to love, with special revelations about: Why he didn't call, The sweetest revenge ever, The downright crazy things we will do for romance. Plus, memorable tales of Queenly dating adventures, the shameless lowdown on looking as young as you feel, and more royal recipes that are guaranteed to bring him home each and every night.

The Sweet Potato Queens’ First Big-Ass Novel

by Jill Conner Browne Karin Gillespie

"I have no pride. I tell anything," Jill Conner Browne is fond of saying. As Her Royal Highness, Boss Queen of the Sweet Potato Queens®, she has told legions of fans, known as "SPQ Wannabes," her delectable secrets to living, loving -- and eating -- like a queen. In her words, "More is more. "How much more? The #1New York Times bestselling author of five works of nonfiction now serves up The Sweet Potato Queens' First Big-Ass Novel: Stuff We Didn't Actually Do, but Could Have, and May Yet. The humor in this uproarious coming-of-queen novel is more delicious than a favorite dessert (the Queens favor Chocolate Stuff , of course). In Jackson, Mississippi, Mary Bennett, Patsy, Gerald, and Jill are high school classmates whose daily routine is paced like a shuffle through the local red dirt -- until the arrival of a redheaded newcomer banishes monotony forever. With her luxurious mane and voluptuous figure, Tammy Myers aspires to join the silver-spooners, who make things happen in their lives. When Jill convinces Tammy and the others that money might buy a certain kind of good time and that true friendship has no price tag, the "Sweet Potato Queens" are born. "If it ain't fun, we ain't doin' it," runs their official club motto, and the Queens are true to their word. Together, the Queens laugh out loud as they step down the long -- and not altogether pretty -- road toward making their very own queen dust, the sparkle that comes from livin' and lovin' their own lives. The Sweet Potato Queens' First Big-Ass Novel: Stuff We Didn't Actually Do, but Could Have, and May Yet reveals that the journey isn't always easy, but in the company of the Queens, you can sparkle, too.

'Sweet Potato Queens' Guide to Raising Children for Fun and Profit

by Jill Conner Browne

When does 1 + 1 = 3 (or more)? When you've got a baby on the way. Part of that new math, says #1New York Times best selling author Jill Conner Browne -- whom USA Today calls "just plain funny" -- includes the addition of an outsize sense of humor to balance the equation of your growing family. The Sweet Potato Queens' Guide to Raising Children for Fun and Profit is a hilarious (though not scientifically tested) wink at the time-honored mysteries of parenting, because anybody who has ever had a kid or has ever known one knows that the experience is neither fun nor profitable -- so you might as well laugh!As each generation begins its hopeful, happy, and, yes, sometimes harrowing journey as Parent and Child, together they spawn a new body of "knowledge," the nuances of which will elude the Experts every time. Here are stories of the things we do for Mother Love -- or, the most incredibly full-time volunteer job ever -- and tips guaranteed not to be found in any other parenting guide. How to talk to a pregnant woman How the diamonds on delivery policy can speed up the labor nature intended Why a good mother is always adept at subterfuge The list of things you wouldn't think you would have to tell kids not to do Why mothers of sons can never retire Why, for parents, it's just a short drive to the poor house The Sweet Potato Queens' Guide to Raising Children for Fun and Profit will have everyone who's ever been a parent -- or has ever thought of becoming one -- or has ever been a child -- or is still one -- giggling and grinning (no small feat) through those childbearing years. . . and beyond.

The Sweet Potato Queens' Wedding Planner/Divorce Guide

by Jill Conner Browne

You are cordially invited to attend...The Sweet Potato Queens are bona fide experts at planning a marvelous marriage (and ending one--flip this book right on over if you're looking for advice on dumping a deadweight hubby!), so who better to provide this handy wedding planner? And even if you're not planning your own nuptials, surely you have dreamt about your perfect day, regardless of whether you've met Mr. Right yet! In this essential manual, you'll learn:* How to plan a truly regal wedding* What to wear (and what not to wear) to your own wedding, or to anyone else's* How to organize the sassiest games and sauciest entertainment for the occasion* How to plan and prepare the greasiest, tastiest wedding vittles for your big-ass guestsYou are hereby summoned to appear . . .The Sweet Potato Queens know a thing or two about ending a marriage (and beginning one--flip this book on over if you're planning on attaching yourself to the ol' ball and chain!), so who better to provide this crucial divorce guide? Besides, whether you're getting your own personal divorce or not, chances are you'll be calling Mr. Right Mr. I-Don't-Think-So sometime in the future! In this practical handbook, you'll learn:* How to survive even the nastiest divorce while maintaining your queenly composure * Why it's appropriate--and necessary!--to throw divorce showers and send out divorce announcements * Why love is even better the second, third, or fourth time aroundFrom the Hardcover edition.

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