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Jamie is crushing on Hudson. Someone too-gross-to-be-named is crushing on Jamie. And Hudson is crushing on... Princess Turd of Turdsylvania (a.k.a. The Prettiest Girl in the World). Middle school may be grim, but it's no fairy tale. And crazy doesn't even begin to cover it.
Franny's mom says every mad scientist needs a lab assistant. So for Valentine's Day Franny gets just that--a Lab assistant. Except Igor isn't a pure Lab. He's also part poodle, part Chihuahua, part beagle, part spaniel, part shepherd--and all thumbs. Franny is fuming. She doesn't even need an assistant. What's she supposed to do with a good-for-nothing one like Igor? And things get even worse when a giant, fifty-foot, arrow-shooting cupid starts causing trouble all over town. Franny knows it's up to her--and only her-- to save the day. Or could she use a little help?
Jamie's Social Studies teacher, Mr. VanDoy, never smiles. Which is hard to believe, because everybody smiles about something, right? Isabella smiles when her brothers get in trouble. Angeline smiles when she thinks about how much prettier she is than a waterfall or a unicorn. But Mr. VanDoy doesn't smile at all. In this fith installment of Dear Dumb Diary join Jamie as she wonders if, when you become an adult, you can lose your sense of humor the way you lose your teeth or hair or fashion sense.
It's an eventful month for Jamie Kelly. Stinker and Stickybuns' litter of puppies has arrived--which makes Jamie and her nemesis Angeline "in-laws by dog. " Ugh. Jamie's class at Mackerel Middle School is doing a unit on journal-writing--and someone's diary falls into the wrong hands. But worst of all, Angeline and Isabella are becoming friends.
Franny K. Stein didn't think the time would ever come when someone would realize what the K in her name stood for. And she REALLY didn't think that same someone would say her middle name in front of the whole school! But that's what happened at the Science Fair award ceremony, and all the kids and teachers burst out laughing. So Franny does what any respectable mad scientist would do--she goes back in time to change her name. However, things don't turn out quite as she calculated, and Franny ends up having to face her teenage self in a warped, fourth-dimensional, kid-versus-teen, good-versus-evil, Franny-versus-Franny battle of the minds!
Being a mad scientist in the modern world is very hard work. With so much that needs to be done in such a short period of time, multitasking can become overwhelming. Franny needs some additional help. But for Franny there is only one person in the world she trusts to help her with her experiments: herself. So she acquires assistance the mad-scientist way...by building a few real, live, steel-plated Franbots!
Franny K. Stein, Mad Scientist, has always had her eye on world domination, and she has to start somewhere...like her class elections! If people vote for her, they'll be giving her all the control she wants. But Franny's platform doesn't have the same appeal as her competitors who are offering new playground equipment, so she creates The Frandidate. Made of DNA samples from a dog, a chameleon and a parrot, along with a scrap of carpet (so she'll know where people stand), Franny's special suit helps her say and do exactly what people want! But when The Frandidate starts making promises she knows she can't keep, Franny realizes she might have gone too far...
Franny's faithful Lab assistant, Igor, has swallowed a doomsday device that is ready to go off at any moment! For a regular scientist, it might seem like there's only one way to get the device out--um...make that two ways. But Franny K. Stein is no ordinary scientist, so she concocts her own way to get the device back and save her friend. With her miniaturization machine, Franny shrinks herself to the size of a pin and goes on a field trip like no other...through the body of a ticking time-dog! Fasten your seat belts, it's going to be a bumpy ride!
There's nothing better than being a mad scientist--at least according to Franny. So she's making it her mission to help her classmates discover their own inner mad scientists. All Franny needs for her latest experiment is a few volunteers, a half-completed two-headed robot, and an invisibility potion. Only this experiment just might prove to be Franny's most difficult. Because what do you do when your classmates don't know anything about mad science--and there's a doubly dumb robot running amok to prove it?
Read the hilarious, candid (& sometimes mean) diaries of Jamie Kelly, who promises that everything in her diary is true. . . or at least as true as it needs to be. In this book, Jamie contends with Angeline, the school's prettiest, most popular girl (who Jamie thinks is a goon!) and the impending visit of her troll-like little cousin. Will Jamie survive? Will she go mad? Will she send her mom's nasty casserole to starving children in Wheretheheckistan? You'll just have to read the first installment of Dear Dumb Diary to find out!
Franny K. Stein is not your average girl--she's a mad scientist. She prefers poison ivy to daisies, and when Franny jumps rope, she uses her pet snake. The kids in Franny's class think she's weird, wacky, and just plain creepy. Tired of being stared at, Franny decides to attempt her most dangerous experiment yet--she's going to fit in. But when a giant Monstrous Fiend attacks the class, everyone knows only a true mad scientist can save the day. But has Franny lost her creepy, crawly ways?
Jamie Kelly spends 5 whole days without seeing or hearing from Angeline and has learned to overlook many of Angeline's flaws like her flawlessness.
Sneak a peak inside the diary of Jamie Kelly who promises that everything she writes is true... or at least as true as it needs to be.
Her best friend's a backstabber. Her worst enemy is a sweetheart. And her dog is just waiting for the right moment to seek his revenge. Why should Jamie even bother going to school? Why not? After a run-in with Mega-Popular Angeline, aka Pure Evil, Jamie reforms her selfish ways and becomes the decent human being she never thought she could be. But she quickly realizes that helping others kind of stinks. Is someone trying to thwart her attempts at irresistible inner beauty? Or will Jamie finally achieve the "I'm an angel" glow she knows will make Hudson Rivers fall madly in love with her?
The wedding between Jamie's aunt and Angeline's uncle is nearing, and they will be joined together until death -- or a much-wished-for divorce. Now, three of Jamie's most dreaded nightmares are about to be combined into one unbearable event: * Very VERY poofy brown dresses, * Wedding clogs, * A lifetime of being related to Angeline, a.k.a. Blondewad. Jamie has just one word for this kind of horror: "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"
As Jamie continues to grapple with middle school's Big Questions, she drops even more snarky gems of wisdom.
There's a new girl in at Mackerel Middle School. Colette is friendly, fabulous, smart, totally talented, and an all-around amazing individual. She is more brilliantly diabolical than Isabella, as blindly loyal as Stinker, and even harder-to-resist than Angeline. It's enough to make Jamie throw up a little. And Jamie just can't help but wonder: Is it humanly possible for a girl to be more perfectly perfect than the most perfect girl in the world?
Dear Dumb Diary, So now I'm friends with Angeline. This is an Automatic Friendship, and I have to just accept it and make the best of things. See, if I objected, then Aunt Carol might divorce Angeline's uncle, sending both of them tumbling into a deep pit of depression for the rest of their lives, and Angeline could wind up feeling so guilty that she would have to go be locked up in an old dirty insane asylum for years and years, and Stinker's puppies would grow up not knowing both their parents- and I couldn't live with myself for doing something like that to a puppy.
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