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Au Revoir, Crazy European Chick

by Joe Schreiber

Ferris Bueller meets La Femme Nikita in this funny, action-packed young adult novel. It's prom night--and Perry just wants to stick to his own plan and finally play a muchanticipatedgig with his band in the Big Apple. But when his mother makes him take Gobija Zaksauskas--their quiet, geeky Lithuanian exchange student--to the prom, he never expects that his ordinary high school guy life will soon turn on its head. Perry finds that Gobi is on a mission, and Perry has no other choice but to go along for a reckless ride through Manhattan's concrete grid with a trained assassin in Dad's red Jag.Infused with capers, car chases, heists, hits, henchmen, and even a bear fight, this story mixes romance, comedy, and tragedy in a true teen coming-of-age adventure--and it's not over until it's "au revoir."

Chasing the Dead

by Joe Schreiber

"You have a very lovely little girl," breathed the voice on the phone. And just like that, Susan Young is drawn into a living nightmare. A stranger has kidnapped Sue's daughter, Veda. But he doesn't want her money, only her suffering-and he will kill Veda if Sue doesn't follow his every command. With detailed instructions, the faceless abductor leads Sue into a blinding snowstorm on the longest night of the year, to a place she has not traveled to since childhood. The voice on the other end of the line somehow knows Sue's deepest, most chilling secret-an ominous incident from her past, buried long ago. . . Across the loneliest back roads of Massachusetts, in the black expanse of a New England winter, Sue is forced to confront her most awful fears as she is met at each step by ever increasing horrors created by a monster who is surely something less than human. In the hope of saving her daughter from a kidnapper whose origin seems darker than anything she could ever have imagined, Sue will discover just how much trauma and fright the human body is capable of absorbing. Set over the course of a single night, Chasing the Dead is a fast-paced, ferociously tense supernatural thriller. With the skill of masters like Dean Koontz and David Morrell, Joe Schreiber has created a tableau of shock and horror, death and destruction, that will draw you in and never let you go.

Con Academy

by Joe Schreiber

It's his senior year and Will Shea has conned his way into one of the country's most elite prep schools. But he soon runs into Andrea, a fellow con-artist. With the school not big enough for the both of them, they make a bet that whoever can con Brandt Rush, the richest, most privileged student in the school out of $50K, gets to stay at the school. Will starts setting up his con (an online poker scam) with his uncle who's one of the best grifters in the business, but also with the unwanted help of his father.. The plot thickens as Will starts falling for fellow student Gatsby, and some of Will's lies start to catch up with him. In this twisty tale of scams, secrets, lies and deception, it hard to figure out who's conning who!

Death Troopers: Star Wars

by Joe Schreiber

When the Imperial prison barge Purge-temporary home to five hundred of the galaxy' s most ruthless killers, rebels, scoundrels, and thieves-breaks down in a distant, uninhabited part of space, its only hope appears to lie with a Star Destroyer found drifting, derelict, and seemingly abandoned. But when a boarding party from the Purge is sent to scavenge for parts, only half of them come back-bringing with them a horrific disease so lethal that within hours nearly all aboard the Purge die in ways too hideous to imagine.And death is only the beginning. The Purge's half-dozen survivors- two teenage brothers, a sadistic captain of the guards, a couple of rogue smugglers, and the chief medical officer, the lone woman on board-will do whatever it takes to stay alive. But nothing can prepare them for what lies waiting aboard the Star Destroyer amid its vast creaking emptiness that isn't really empty at all. For the dead are rising: soulless, unstoppable, and unspeakably hungry.Features a bonus section following the novel that includes a primer on the Star Wars expanded universe, and over half a dozen excerpts from some of the most popular Star Wars books of the last thirty years!

Eat the Dark

by Joe Schreiber

Escorted from prison under heavy guard, murderous psychopath Frank Snow is scheduled for an emergency brain scan at Tanglewood Memorial Hospital, an institution that is closing its doors after one final night of operation. But Snow has something far more terrifying planned. And once the lights go out, a fiendish game of hide-and-seek begins. Alone in the dark with a homicidal madman who knows their fears, their secrets, and their every move, MRI technician Mike Hughes, his wife and child, and the other unlucky souls trapped in the hospital have no choice but to duel with the devil incarnate. If they play by their stalker's twisted rules, some of them might just survive. But there's more to Frank Snow than the naked eye can see . . . or the sane mind can bear.

Game Over, Pete Watson

by Joe Schreiber Andy Rash

When videogame obsessed Pete Watson discovers his dad is not only a super-spy but has been kidnapped and is now trapped inside a video game, he has to use his super gaming skills and enter the game to rescue him. Will he be able to save his friends and family and the entire world from giant mechanical cockroaches and a massive cyber attack set to take down the world's network? And if he succeeds, who will save Pete from his massive crush on Callie Midwood? From the comedic mind of Joe Schreiber (Lenny Cyrus School Virus, Au Revoir Crazy European Chick, Perry's Killer Playlist), comes an action-packed Alex Rider-meets-Greg Heffley middle grade romp that grabs readers by the funny bone and doesn't let go! Illustrated throughout with black and white comic drawings by Andy Rash.

Lenny Cyrus, School Virus

by Joe Schreiber Matt Smith

It seemed so logical at first. Fourteen-year-old Lenny Cyrus had loved Zooey Andrews since third grade. All the boy genius needed to do to win her heart, surely, was shrink down to the size of an amoeba, ooze into a gelatin capsule, and have his friend Harlan slip it (him!) into Zooey's Diet Coke. Told in three voices, this fantastical middle grade novel takes Lenny deep into Zooey's loud, splashing innards, where a talking astrovirus named Astro has a bad attitude about white blood cells ("self-righteous pus-bags") and aromatic hormones disco dance. The question is, will Lenny and Zooey survive his crazy experiment in nanotechnology? The worst part comes when Lenny inadvertently triggers an infection in Zooey's brain, and her whole body goes into lockdown. Can Lenny rescue Zooey before his time is up? Lenny Cyrus is determined to find his way into Zooey's heart. Literally.

Lockdown: Star Wars (Maul)

by Joe Schreiber

Set before the events of Star Wars: Episode I The Phantom Menace, this new novel is a thrilling follow-up to Star Wars: Darth Plagueis. It's kill or be killed in the space penitentiary that houses the galaxy's worst criminals, where convicts face off in gladiatorial combat while an underworld gambling empire reaps the profits of the illicit blood sport. But the newest contender in this savage arena, as demonic to behold as he is deadly to challenge, is fighting for more than just survival. His do-or-die mission, for the dark masters he serves, is to capture the ultimate weapon: an object that will enable the Sith to conquer the galaxy. Sith lords Darth Plagueis and Darth Sidious are determined to possess the prize. And one of the power-hungry duo has his own treacherous plans for it. But first, their fearsome apprentice must take on a bloodthirsty prison warden, a cannibal gang, cutthroat crime lord Jabba the Hutt, and an unspeakable alien horror. No one else could brave such a gauntlet of death and live. But no one else is the dreaded dark-side disciple known as Darth Maul.From the Hardcover edition.

No Doors, No Windows

by Joe Schreiber

When madness is your inheritance, how do you escape it?Scott Mast thought he got away-first from a family haunted by a dark fate, then from a dull career writing greeting cards in Seattle. But now he has come back to his New Hampshire hometown only to find that his family is in ruins, his nephew needs a home, and a shattering truth is clawing its way into the light.Fifteen years ago, Scott's mother died in a fire. And now the shadowy circumstances-the bodies buried beneath the ashes, the lives ripped apart that fateful day-are starting to be revealed. The answers unspool in the pages of a peculiar old manuscript-an unfinished ghost story written in his father's own hand that beckons Scott out to a strange house in the woods with a lightless corridor that cannot be seen from the outside. Here Scott Mast will uncover all that has been hidden-and perhaps finish his father's unspeakable work.From the Trade Paperback edition.

Perry's Killer Playlist

by Joe Schreiber

When Perry ends up in Venice on a European tour with his band Inchworm, he can't resist a visit to Harry's Bar, where Gobi told him she'd meet him someday. The last time he saw Gobi, five people were assassinated one crazy night in New York City. Well . . . Gobi shows up, and once again Perry is roped into a wild, nonstop thrill ride with a body count. Double crossings, kidnappings, CIA agents, arms dealers, boat chases in Venetian canals, and a shootout in the middle of a Santa Claus convention ensue.

Star Wars: Red Harvest

by Joe Schreiber

The era of the Old Republic is a dark and dangerous time, as Jedi Knights valiantly battle the Sith Lords and their ruthless armies. But the Sith have disturbing plans--and none more so than the fulfillment of Darth Scabrous's fanatical dream, which is about to become nightmarish reality.Unlike those other Jedi sidelined to the Agricultural Corps--young Jedi whose abilities have not proved up to snuff--Hestizo Trace possesses one extraordinary Force talent: a gift with plants. Suddenly her quiet existence among greenhouse and garden specimens is violently destroyed by the arrival of an emissary from Darth Scabrous. For the rare black orchid that she has nurtured and bonded with is the final ingredient in an ancient Sith formula that promises to grant Darth Scabrous his greatest desire.But at the heart of the formula is a never-before-seen virus that's worse than fatal--it doesn't just kill, it transforms. Now the rotting, ravenous dead are rising, driven by a bloodthirsty hunger for all things living--and commanded by a Sith Master with an insatiable lust for power and the ultimate prize: immortality . . . no matter the cost.Features a bonus section following the novel that includes a primer on the Star Wars expanded universe, and over half a dozen excerpts from some of the most popular Star Wars books of the last thirty years!

Supernatural: The Unholy Cause

by Joe Schreiber

A Supernatural novel that reveals a previously unseen adventure for the Winchester brothers, from the hit CW series!Way back in April 1862, Confederate Captain Jubal Beauchamp leads a charge across a Georgia battleground... Fast forward to 2009 and a civil war re-enactment becomes all too real. When Sam and Dean head down south to investigate they find that history has got somewhat out of hand...

Showing 1 through 12 of 12 results

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