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Having a baby is a joyous experience, but even the best relationships are strained during the transition from duo to trio. Lack of sleep, never-ending housework, and new fiscal concerns often lead to conflict, disappointment, and hurt feelings. In And Baby Makes Three Love LabTM experts John Gottman and Julie Schwartz Gottman teach couples the skills from their successful workshops, so partners can avoid the pitfalls of parenthood by:* maintaining intimacy and romance * replacing a culture of criticism and irritability with one of appreciation * preventing post-partum depression * creating a home environment that nurtures physical, emotional, and mental health, as well as cognitive and behavioral development for your babyComplete with exercises that separate the "master" from the "disaster" couples, And Baby Makes Three helps new parents positively manage the strain that comes along with their bundle of joy.From the Hardcover edition.
Intelligence That Comes from the Heart Every parent knows the importance of equipping children with the intellectual skills they need to succeed in school and life. But children also need to master their emotions. Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child is a guide to teaching children to understand and regulate their emotional world. And as acclaimed psychologist and researcher John Gottman shows, once they master this important life skill, emotionally intelligent children will enjoy increased self-confidence, greater physical health, better performance in school, and healthier social relationships. Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child will equip parents with a five-step "emotion coaching" process that teaches how to: * Be aware of a child's emotions * Recognize emotional expression as an opportunity for intimacy and teaching * Listen empathetically and validate a child's feelings * Label emotions in words a child can understand * Help a child come up with an appropriate way to solve a problem or deal with an upsetting issue or situation Written for parents of children of all ages, Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child will enrich the bonds between parent and child and contribute immeasurably to the development of a generation of emotionally healthy adults.
A groundbreaking, practical program for transforming troubled relationships into positive ones "This is the best book on relationships I have ever read. . . . John Gottman has decoded the subtle secrets that can either enrich or destroy the quality of our ties with others. " Daniel B. Wile, Ph. D. , author ofAfter the Fight: Using Your Disagreements to Build a Stronger Relationship "John Gottman is our leading explorer of the inner world of relationships. InThe Relationship Cure, he has found gold once again. "William J. Doherty, Ph. D. , author ofTake Back Your Marriage: Sticking Together in a World That Pulls Us Apart "When he says his five steps will help you build better connections with the people you care about, you know that they have been demonstrated to work. " E. Mavis Heatherington, Ph. D. , professor of psychology, University of Virginia From the country's foremost relationship expert andNew York Timesbestselling author Dr. John M. Gottman comes a powerful, simple five-step program, based on twenty years of innovative research, for greatly improving all of the relationships in your life--with spouses and lovers, children, siblings, and even your colleagues at work. In The Relationship Cure, Dr. Gottman: * Reveals the key elements of healthy relationships, emphasizing the importance of what he calls "emotional connection" * Introduces the powerful new concept of the emotional "bid," the fundamental unit of emotional connection * Provides remarkably empowering tools for improving the way you bid for emotional connection and how you respond to others' bids
Straightforward in its approach, yet profound in its effect, the principles outlined in this book teach partners new and startling strategies for making their marriage work. Gottman has scientifically analysed the habits of married couples and established a method of correcting the behaviour that puts thousands of marriages on the rocks. He helps couples focus on each other, on paying attention to the small day-to-day moments that, strung together, make up the heart and soul of any relationship. Packed with questionnaires and exercises whose effectiveness has been proven in Dr Gottman's workshops, this is the definitive guide for anyone who wants their relationship to attain its highest potential. 'An eminently practical guide to an emotionally intelligent - and long-lasting - marriage' Daniel Goleman, author of Emotional Intelligence
Just as Masters and Johnson were pioneers in the study of human sexuality, so Dr. John Gottman has revolutionized the study of marriage. As a professor of psychology at the University of Washington and the founder and director of the Seattle Marital and Family Institute, he has studied the habits of married couples in unprecedented detail over the course of many years. His findings, and his heavily attended workshops, have already turned around thousands of faltering marriages. This book is the culmination of his life's work: the seven principles that guide couples on the path toward a harmonious and long-lasting relationship. Straightforward in their approach, yet profound in their effect, these principles teach partners new and startling strategies for making their marriage work. Gottman helps couples focus on each other, on paying attention to the small day-to-day moments that, strung together, make up the heart and soul of any relationship. Being thoughtful about ordinary matters provides spouses with a solid foundation for resolving conflict when it does occur and finding strategies for living with those issues that cannot be resolved. Packed with questionnaires and exercises whose effectiveness has been proven in Dr. Gottman's workshops, The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work is the definitive guide for anyone who wants their relationship to attain its highest potential.The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work is the result of Dr. John Gottman's many years of closely observing thousands of marriages. This kind of longitudinal research has never been done before. Based on his findings, he has culled seven principles essential to the success of any marriage.Maintain a love map. Foster fondness and admiration. Turn toward instead of away. Accept influence. Solve solvable conflicts. Cope with conflicts you can't resolve. Create shared meaning.Dr. Gottman's unique questionnaires and exercises will guide couples on the road to revitalizing their marriage, or making a strong one even better.
In 1994, Dr. John Gottman and his colleagues at the University of Washingto-- made a startling announcement: Through scientific observation and mathematical analysis, they could predict--with more than 90 percent accuracy--whether a marriage would succeed or fail. The only thing they did not yet know was how to turn a failing marriage into a successful one, so Gottman teamed up with his clinical psychologist wife, Dr. Julie Schwartz Gottman, to develop intervention methods. Now the Gottmans, together with the Love Lab research facility, have put these ideas into practice. In Ten Lessons to Transform Your Marriage, the Gottmans share this vital information so that couples can develop the skills to turn their relationship problems around and create strong, lasting unions.<P><P> What emerged from the Gottmans' collaboration and decades of research is a body of advice that's based on two surprisingly simple truths: Happily married couples behave like good friends, and they handle their conflicts in gentle, positive ways. The authors offer an intimate look at ten couples who have learned to work through potentially destructive problems--extramarital affairs, workaholism, parenthood adjustments, serious illnesses, lack of intimacy--and examine what they've done to improve communication and get their marriages back on track. <P> Giving an insider's view of the Love Lab, the Gottmans take the reader step-by-step through the couples' conversations, before and after they are counseled. The authors also provide an analysis of the couples' interactions, identifying their core problems and offering suggestions for resolving them. By "listening" to the discussions in this way, you will learn to detect the most common stumbling blocks of a relationship and--most important--how to avoid them. <P> Hundreds of thousands have seen their relationships improve thanks to the Gottmans' work. Whether you want to make a strong relationship more fulfilling or rescue one that's headed for disaster, Ten Lessons to Transform Your Marriage is essential reading.<P> From inside the famed Gottman Institute, aka the "Love Lab": ten scientifically proven, practical ways to strengthen your marriage<P> "We don't feel close anymore."<P> "You never talk to me."<P> "We only have time for the kids." <P> "All you do is work."<P> "You don't care about my dreams."<P> Do you recognize yourself, or your spouse, in any of these statements? If so, Dr. John Gottman and his wife, Dr. Julie Schwartz Gottman, say you shouldn't be surprised. In fact, their decades of scientific research have shown that most couples face these and other serious problems--but what the Gottmans have proven is that such difficulties don't have to lead to a broken relationship, or even divorce.<P> In Ten Lessons to Transform Your Marriage, the Gottmans provide vital tools--scientifically based and empirically verified--that you can use to regain affection and romance lost through years of ineffective communication. You'll strengthen your relationship and make it the most fulfilling it can be.
IN THIS WISE, ACCESSIBLE, AND LONG-AWAITED BOOK, celebrated research psychologist and couples counselor John Gottman plumbs the mysteries of love: Where does it come from? Why does some love last, and why does some fade? Gottman has spent decades observing the conversational patterns and biorhythms of thousands and thousands of couples in his famous "Love Lab." Now he applies this research to fundamental questions about trust and betrayal. Doubts are common in relationships. Partners often worry. Can I trust my partner? Am I being betrayed? How do I know for sure? Based on laboratory findings, this book shows readers how to identify signs, behaviors, and attitudes that indicate betrayal--whether sexual or not--and provides strategies for repairing what may seem lost or broken. With a gift for translating complex scientific ideas into insightful and practical advice, Gottman explains how a couple can protect or recover their greatest gift--their love for one another.g the potential for one or both partners to stray. What Makes Love Last? shows couples how to bolster their trust level and avoid what Dr. Gottman calls the "Roach Motel for Lovers." He describes how the outcome of--"sliding door moments," small pivotal points between a couple, can lead either to more emotional connection or to discontent. He suggests a new approach to handling adultery and reveals the varied and unexpected non-sexual ways that couples often betray each other. What Makes Love Last? guides couples through an empirically tested, trust-building program that will let them repair and maintain a long-term, intimate, and romantic relationship.
If You Love Your Mate but Your Marriage Seems to Be Off Track, Then This Book Is for YouPsychologist John Gottman has spent 20 years studying what makes a marriage last. Now you can use his tested methods to evaluate, strengthen, and maintain your own long-term relationship. This breakthrough book guides you through a series of self-tests designed to help you determine what kind of marriage you have, where your strengths and weaknesses are, and what specific actions you can take to help your marriage.You'll also learn:* More sex doesn't necessarily improve a marriage* Frequent arguing will not lead to divorce* Financial problems do not always spell trouble in a relationship* Wives who make sour facial expressions when their husbands talk are likely to be separated within four years* There is a reason husbands withdraw from arguments -- and there's a way around itDr. Gottman tells you how to recognize attitudes that doom a marriage -- contempt, criticism, defensiveness, and stonewalling -- and provides practical exercises, quizzes, tips, and techniques that will help you understand and make the most of your relationship. You can avoid patterns that lead to divorce, and -- Why Marriages Succeed or Fail will show you how.
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