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Largemouth, smallmouth or stripers--bass of all varieties are the number one sport fish across the country, and in America's Best Bass Fishing veteran angler and outdoor writer Steve Price points the way to the very best places to catch them.
"Person to person" (and "station to station"), "bar sinister," "the weed of crime bears bitter fruit," "between the devil and the deep blue sea," "will o' the wisp," "poor as Job's turkey" . . . these are just a few phrases that were once part of everyday speech. However, due to our evolving language and other cultural changes, there are hundreds of phrases poised on the brink of extinction. Can such endangered phrases be saved? And if so, why? These are questions Steven D. Price, award-winning author and keen observer of the passing linguistic scene, answers in this challenging and captivating compilation. It is sure to increase your appreciation of the English language's ebb and flow-and enhance your own vocabulary along the way.
Looking for ways to escape or shift blame is a fundamental part of life. Here's a survival guide full of ready-made excuses, from the student's classic "My dog ate my homework," to the motorist's "Was that sign the speed limit, Officer? I thought it was the town's population," to the dieter's "I wasn't getting enough to eat on one diet, so I had to go on three." You'll welcome these ready-made alibis and cop-outs for business, school, sports, family, romance, and other situations where you might find yourself in hot water.
Although no one has ever said that growing old is a zany laugh riot, humor certainly eases the path to and through one's golden years. And here is a heaping dose of jokes and anecdotes (anecdotes for one's anec-dotage, you might say) to lighten and brighten the day of anyone who's reached that certain age. You and the special senior in your life will laugh at jokes about a wide range of subjects, including . . .One-Liners: "I've learned that life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes." -Andy RooneyMemory: A senior citizen driving on the highway received a cell phone call from his wife. "Herman, be careful! I just heard on the radio that there was a madman driving the wrong way on Route 280!" The husband replied, "I know, but there isn't just one-there are hundreds!"Sex and the Senior: An eighty-two-year-old man went to his doctor for a physical. A few days later the doctor saw him walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm.Several days later the doctor spoke to his patient and commented, "You're really doing great, aren't you?"The man replied, "I'm just doing what you said, Doc-'Get a hot mamma and be cheerful.'"The doctor said, "I didn't say that. I said, 'You've got a heart murmur. Be careful.'"Belly Laughs is a "lode" of fun for the young at heart of all ages, especially the golden age. Remember this bit of sage advice: "If you laugh a lot, when you get older your wrinkles will be in the right places."
What is it about lawyers that has made them the butt of hundreds and hundreds of jokes over the centuries? Whatever the reason, everyone-including lawyers and judges themselves-has had a hearty chuckle over attorney-aimed humor. Hilarious Lawyer Jokes pokes the most fun (and malice) at a profession that has been targeted with humorous jabs for centuries.From this single hilarious source, with full-color illustrations, get your one-liners (Q: How many lawyer jokes are there? A: Only three. The rest are true stories.), your historical and literary quotations (Litigation: A machine that you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage-Ambrose Bierce: The Devil's Dictionary), and all the lengthier, fun-to-share forensic funnies you can handle, such as:A lawyer was driving his big BMW down the highway, singing to himself, "I love my BMW, I love my BMW." Focusing on his car, not his driving, he smashed into a tree. He miraculously survived, but his car was totaled. "My BMW! My BMW!" he sobbed.A good Samaritan drove by and cried out, "Sir, sir, you're bleeding. And, my god, your left arm is gone!"The lawyer looked down and screamed, "My Rolex! My Rolex!"In summation, you must find Hilarious Lawyer Jokes guilty of disorder in court and sentence all who read this perfect gift for any lawyer, client, judge, law student, or wannabe attorney to many hours of laughter.
Author and journalist Gene Fowler put it best: "Writing is easy; all you do is sit staring at a blank sheet of paper until the drops of blood form on your forehead." Anyone who has ever wanted or been required to create something more complicated than a shopping list or a Tweet knows there's more truth than poetry in the observation. The process can be difficult, frustratingly so when we realize that although we use words all the time, coming up with the right ones can be a daunting task.Even the most celebrated writers have reflected on this creative process, and their observations and conclusions are collected in this book. The compiler, himself no stranger to a blank page or computer screen, has selected the wisest and wittiest utterances on such subjects as why we write (Ernest Hemingway: "I have a good life but I must write because if I do not write a certain amount I do not enjoy the rest of my life."); how to write (Anton Chekhov: "Don't tell me the moon is shining; show me the glint of light on broken glass."); and writing for money (Cormac McCarthy: "I never had any doubts about my abilities. I knew I could write. I just had to figure out how to eat while doing this.").It has been said that reading won't make you a good writer, but it will make you a better writer. Dip into this lively and useful treasure trove, and you'll be well on your way.
Making sensible decisions during a time of grief is never easy. Losing a husband, wife, father, mother, child or another near and dear person forces you to make a multitude of decisions, some large and life-changing, some small but emotionally charged. And if substantial amounts of money or conflicting wishes of friends and relatives are involved, making arrangements can become overwhelming. More Than Sympathy is designed to help you through these difficult circumstances. It covers: - Preliminary formalities, such as securing the residence and valuables immediately following the loved one's death - Selecting the funeral home - Planning the funeral or memorial service, including suggestions for eulogies- Grief counseling and therapy - Probating the Will or administering an intestate estate- Survivor benefits, pensions, and other financial and tax consequences- Estate planning to avoid probate and other estate issues through gifts, trusts, and other instruments- And more Drawing from the counsel of funeral directors, clergy, attorneys, estate planners, and psychologists and with references to websites and other sources of further information, More Than Sympathy provides straightforward and reassuring advice that is both practical and comforting at this difficult time.
What the super-rich and others have to say about money in these pages is sometimes enlightening, sometimes profound, often entertaining, and always revealing. Topics include wealth ("If you can actually count your money, then you are not really a rich man."-J. Paul Getty); investing ("Only buy something that you'd be perfectly happy to hold if the market shut down for ten years."-Warren Buffett); success ("The secret of success is to do common things uncommonly well."-John D. Rockefeller); and leadership ("The buck stops with the guy who signs the checks."-Rupert Murdoch). In addition are proverbs, quips, and other commentary on all aspects of having a fortune.
At some point in everyone's life, everyone will be placed in the position of dealing with the death of a loved one. Arranging all the necessary details at such a difficult time can prove overwhelming. However, help is now at hand in this guide that covers all the essential aspects: Ways to avoid probate and other estate problems while you're still alive through gifts and trusts Pre-funeral formalities, such as when the loved one dies in another state or country Selecting a funeral parlor and working with its director and clergy with regard to the funeral service Disposition of the remains, whether burial or cremation Probating the will or marshalling the assets if the deceased died intestate Survivor benefits and other financial and tax matters Mourning and grief therapy Drawing from the counsel of funeral directors, clergy, attorneys, estate planners, and psychologists and with references to Web sites and other sources of further information, this book provides straightforward and reassuring advice that is both practical and comforting at this difficult time.
What is it about lawyers that has made them the butt of hundreds and hundreds of jokes over the centuries? Whatever the reason, everyone--including lawyers and judges themselves--has laughed at attorney-aimed humor. Now here is the best and most recent collection of jokes, anecdotes, quotations, and proverbs that poke fun (. . . and malice) at the legal profession. In summation, you must find The World's Funniest Lawyer Jokes guilty of disorder in court and sentence all who read this perfect gift for any lawyer, client, judge, law student, or wannabe attorney to many hours of laughter.
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