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Why is everyone rushing to flee Tampa on a cruise ship to hell? Serge is back with a bullet, torn between homicide and souvenirs. So is Coleman, torn between getting hammered and getting more hammered. Then there's good ol' Jim Davenport, the E-Team, the Diaz Brothers, and Johnny Vegas, the Accidental Virgin, cranking up the fevered action as the pot boils over on a street called Lobster Lane. It's reunion time in the Sunshine State, and we're not just talking the family jamboree of that blood-soaked criminal clan, the McGraws, whose nastiest, meanest member is finally released from prison and heads south bent on revenge. On top of it all, the government is covering up a growing list of mysterious victims across Florida who may or may not be connected to a nefarious plot being hatched against national security. But wait! There's more on the horizon! Who is the oddly familiar femme fatale named Rachael? Is Serge wrong that guns, drugs, and strippers don't mix? What sets the Non-Confrontationalists off on a rampage? What finally brings Coleman and Lenny together? Will they succeed in building the biggest bong ever? And can Serge surf a rogue wave to victory? So batten the hatches, don the life jackets, and take cover as all these questions and more are answered in the latest adventure from the acclaimed author of Hurricane Punch.
Serge A. Storms returns! The world's most lovable serial killer is back, bringing together an Oscar-worthy cast of Sunshine State nut jobs with his insatiable passion for All Things Florida. During this latest cavalcade of nonstop felonies-from Tampa to Fort Lauderdale to Orlando-Serge finds time to resurrect his obsession with movies, particularly those showcasing his beloved home state. And he wants answers! Why aren't more films shot here? How come the ones that are stink so bad? And what's up with filming "Florida" scenes in California? Then there's the cryptic message from his grandfather, Sergio, telling him to go to Los Angeles to uncover a mysterious secret from the distant past. It's too much of a coincidence. It's fate. Naturally, Serge, accompanied by his substance-sustained sidekick, Coleman, must immediately hop a transcontinental flight to straighten out Hollywood once and for all. But, of course, being Serge, his mission is sidetracked by perpetual detours to irresistible celluloid landmarks . . . and intrigue. Meanwhile, in Burbank, production of what may become the most expensive flop in Tinseltown history is interrupted by the brazen abduction of the female lead. Meanwhile, a couple of midwestern dreamers head west for their shot at fame-and find it at the center of a celebrity murder investigation. And even more meanwhile, infamous studio heads Ian and Mel Glick continue to produce juggernaut high-grossing dreck, casting-couch perversion, and cocaine hijinks. But there's more. Much more. How is the Japanese mafia involved? The Alabama mafia? Is the castrating cult throwing a membership party? Will Coleman survive his binge at the Belushi hotel? Who can defuse the nuclear bomb? It all comes crashing together in a breathtaking climactic sequence that prompts an enthusiastic Serge to proclaim: "Two thumbs way, way up!" So come on in and grab a seat. The show's about to start. . . .
And busting out of Chattahoochee State Hospital ... without his meds! The thrill-killing Floridaphile needs to get to the bottom of his bookie grandad's bizarre 1964 death -- not to mention launch "Serge & Lenny's Florida Experience," the new Miami specialty tour venture he's cooked up with his best brain-dead druggie-buddy. It's all good. For Serge A. Storms, anyway. Not so much for anyone else.
Serge Storms, that loveable thermonuclear vigilante and one-stop-Florida-trivia-shop, has been leaving corpses strewn across the Sunshine State for more than a decade. The authorities-especially one tenacious state agent-have begun to notice the exponential body count, and send a police task force to track down Serge. Could his luck finally have run out? Meanwhile, armed with his perpetually baked sidekick, Coleman, Serge decides to blitz the state and resurrect his Internet travel-advice website-which, of course, must be the finest and the final word on trekking the Sunshine State. To up the ante, Serge concocts a theme vacation for his cyberspace audience. And that theme? You, too, can experience Florida through the eyes of a fugitive. Off they go blogging along a getaway route through the state's most remote bayous, back roads, and bars, where the number of cadavers begin stacking up like Serge's website hits. And in the middle of all his make-believe close brushes, Serge finally wises up to his pursuers and realizes that the manic gumball rally is genuinely on "in the tradition of the great American chase movie." Clues and questions mount: Who are all the women being photographed naked in the swamp? What made Coleman draw on his face with magic markers? Where is the cruise-to-nowhere taking its drunk prisoners? When was the last time a Civil War reenactment involved a sports car? But Serge also has some personal business to tidy up. His grandfather's old Miami Beach gang suddenly had their life savings wiped out, and there's a good bet it was no accident. Too much action for Serge to juggle? Not when it all dovetails nicely into his Secret Master Plan. And especially if it involves Serge's favorite new obsession: tracking Al Capone's little-known escapades in the Everglades. So gas up the car, say good-bye to the relatives, and join Serge on the lam as he drives straight for the deepest bowels of Florida to unravel the final mysteries of Electric Barracuda.
Sunshine State trivia buff Serge A. Storms loves eliminating jerks and pests. His drug-addled partner Coleman loves cartoons. Hot stripper Sharon Rhodes loves cocaine, especially when purchased with rich dead men's money. On the other hand, there's Sean and David, who love fishing and are kind to animals -- and who are about to cross paths with a suitcase filled with $5 million in stolen insurance money. Serge wants the suitcase. Sharon wants the suitcase. Coleman wants more drugs . . . and the suitcase. In the meantime, there's murder by gun, Space Shuttle, Barbie doll, and Levi's 501s. In other words, welcome to Tim Dorsey's Florida -- where nobody gets out unscathed and untanned!
That's right: Serge and Coleman do spring break! It's been a long time coming, but they're at the party now-and you'll never look at a Frisbee the same way again. One spring break location obviously isn't enough for Serge, so he must hit them all, traveling through various historic locales, spewing nuggets of history at anyone who won't run away and dispensing his own signature brand of Sunshine State justice. Along the way he and his sidekick, Coleman, attract a growing following of the nation's top college students . . . and a mysterious gang that leaves a trail of young bodies in their wake. Are the kids safer under Serge's protection? Or does being with him put them in more peril? The classroom and the pot brownies never prepared them for this. Which raises more questions: Who's the guy studying satellite photos? Where did the protected witness go? When did Coleman get all those trophies? Why are the Feds hot on everyone's trail? How did the burnt corpse end up by the pool? What's the best way to keep beer cool on the beach? Then there are the coke smugglers gone legit and a pair of the most dangerously sexy bartenders to ever mix a rum runner. Throw in some dirty dancing contests, illicit drugs, rockin' tunes, screamin' sports cars, bungee rides, pawned class rings, and church breakfasts, and you've got a potent concoction that keeps the hotel's concierge up all night stopping people from falling off the balconies. Want even more? Serge says, "You got it!" After years of quiet, a legendary Miami kingpin from the anything-goes eighties is suddenly back in the news . . . along with one of the state's most psychotic homicidal monsters, every bit as criminally insane as Serge-except without the morals. The mysteries continue to mount: How did Coleman end up with even more disciples than Serge? Can kids successfully climb fences while carrying pizzas? Will Serge survive the carnage, armed with a GPS and a kiddie pool? All will soon be answered-and of course every last moment is caught on tape as Serge creates his most excellent documentary ever, the making of Gator A-Go-Go. Pack the cooler, load the car, and head to where the water is warm for a spring vacation you won't soon forget-no matter how much you might try!
There's a different schemer or slimeball behind every door: cocaine duckpins who have survived only by the dumbest fortune, hard-luck gigolos desperate to score, undercover cops busting undercover cops who are running sting operations on undercover cops. And just down the row, local historian and spree killer Serge A. Storms -- who has stopped keeping up with his meds -- is still looking for a briefcase stuffed with five million dollars...and is now capable of wreaking more havoc than hurricane Rolando-berto, the big wind gathering force offshore, just waiting for the opportunity to blow everything straight to hell.Pack up your bags and head south to sunny Florida. Leave your rational mind at home and come well armed. There's a room with your number on it at the Hammerhead Ranch Motel.
That lovable, under-undermedicated dispenser of truth, justice, and trivia is back with a vengeance--just as his cherished home state is about to take a beating from a conga line of hurricanes bearing down on the peninsula. But as Serge and his burnout buddy Coleman go storm-chasing, bodies begin turning up at a disturbing rate, even by Florida standards. It looks like a serial killer is on the loose--another serial killer--which highly offends Serge's moral sensibilities. And he vows he'll stop at nothing to unmask his thrill-killing rival and make All Things Right--though Coleman's triathlete approach to the sport of polyabuse binging threatens to derail the mission more completely than the entire combined Sunshine State police community could ever hope to.
Just when you thought it was safe to go online, Serge A. Storms has returned! The lovable collector of trivia, souvenirs, and murder methods is upset that his beloved state isn't getting its proper recognition, so he signs on with the big Internet travel services. Soon Serge sets up his own wildcat of Florida site, hyper-blogging his way down the coast with his perpetually hammered sidekick, Coleman. Unfortunately, Serge's Web presence catches the attention of his neme-sis, Agent Mahoney, and the chase is on. When professional robbery crews begin targeting trade show exhibitors, bodies begin piling up. Serge has had enough! He's forced into the only logical course of action--go shopping at Home Depot.
The Republicans' "golden boy" -- and a loyal, unquestioning tool of the powerful special interests -- handsome, unthreatening, Florida governor-by-default Marlon Conrad seems a virtual shoo-in for re-election. That is, until he undergoes a radical personality shift during a bloody military action in the Balkans. Now it's just three weeks before the election and Marlon is suddenly talking about "issues" and "reform" as he crosses the length and breadth of his home state with an amnesiac speechwriter and a chief of staff who turns catatonic in the presence of minorities. The governor's new-found conscience might well cost him the election, though. And it appears that pretty much everybody from Tallahassee to Miami Beach is trying to kill him...
Miami has always set the weirdness bar, but Serge Storms is back in action and ready to pole vault over it. First, there's the media frenzy over the "Hollow Man," a gutless corpse found on the beach. And yet people think it's perfectly normal to find dead sharks in the middle of downtown boulevards-or to spot black mushroom clouds behind the airport. Then there are the roving bands of carjackers who suddenly find themselves inconvenienced. Not to mention people lurking outside sex-addiction meetings. Could this be the work of Serge, that eccentric trivialista and one-man vigilante? And why is he extensively photographing foreign consulates right before the critically important Summit of the Americas comes to town? Does it have something to do with Serge's declaration to tell his ever-stoned sidekick, Coleman, that he's decided to become a spy? Of course he's not working for anyone yet, so Serge is content to just spy for himself until he shows up on radar and his talents are appreciated. His ace in the hole? Serge's newly revamped Secret Master Plan! His spider senses tell him something big is about to go down in Miami, and it just might involve the recently reactivated CIA cell operating in the same historic building that plotted the overthrow of Fidel Castro. The intelligence community isn't amused, and they want answers: How did Serge and Coleman get so cozy with the president of a banana republic? Who is the femme fatale with a heart of gold-and national pride? Why is the congressman in favor of the latest oil spill? When did everyone in the city forget how to drive? And what about the Most Laid Man in Miami? Meanwhile, a mysterious international man of intrigue is shipping military arms around the clock, in competition with clandestine flights of souvenirs, causing the office of Homeland Security to take measures against people who aren't scared enough. The crossfire of chaos continues to escalate as Serge plays Extreme Dominos in Little Havana, hurtling everyone toward a fateful climax that seems destined for the hemispheric summit jamboree on the shores of Biscayne Bay. So put on your favorite pink flamingo shirt, hit the dunes of South Beach, and find all the answers in . . . Pineapple Grenade!
Brilliant Floridaphile, bighearted psychopath, and chipper tour guide Serge Storms takes a vacationing Midwestern couple (they're so nice!) on the ride of a lifetime in this insanely funny adventure from "New York Times"-bestselling author Dorsey.
Bottom-feeders beware: the Sunshine State's favorite psychotic killer and lovable Floridaphile, Serge Storms, has found a new calling, legal eagle, and he's going to make a killing as a crusading attorney--and star as a dashing lawyer on the big screen--in this madcap escapade from insanely funny New York Times bestselling author Tim DorseyWhen it comes to swimming with the sharks, there is no bigger kahuna than Serge Storms. Bingeing on a marathon of legal movies set in Florida, Serge finds his vocation: the law. Never mind law school or that degree; Serge becomes a freelance fixer--wildcat paralegal and pilgrim to the hallowed places where legal classics of the big screen such as Body Heat, Cool Hand Luke, and Absence of Malice were filmed practically in his own backyard.One of Serge's old flames, young lawyer Brook Campanella, is also a rising star thanks to her expertise in the field of foreclosure law. Ruthless at taking down the greedy banksters kicking people out of their homes, she lands a major class-action lawsuit and looks set to win big. The opposition is determined to shut her down, and they'll go to extreme lengths to do it.Luckily for her, Serge likes nothing better than saving a damsel in distress, especially when it means kicking a bunch of shyster butt. The mayhem comes to a hilarious head at the Key West courthouse at the height of the island's raucous Fantasy Fest street carnival, and no one, including Serge, will ever be the same.
When serial-killing local Florida historian Serge A. Storms is off his meds, no one is safe -- not Russian hoods, Jamaican mobsters, spoiled frat boys, women's book clubs, drug dealers, bad Vegas-rejected local lounge acts -- especially when $5 million in cash in a bugged suitcase is still racing up and down the Eastern Seaboard. But in the oddball circus known as the Sunshine State, little things like astronomical body counts tend to get lost in the shuffle.
All just another day in Serge Storms's sun-splashed paradise!Thanks to the growth of the Internet, America finds itself plagued by a noxious epidemic of ruthless scam artists. Where do they all come from? If you guessed 110 percent of them are spawned in Florida, you win the cigar. . . .When a new digital scheme goes horribly awry-- causing innocents to die and a young woman to go missing--only one person can set things right: obsessive Florida trivia buff and reluctant serial killer Serge Storms.Aided by his perpetually addled sidekick, Coleman, and latter-day noir private eye Mahoney, Serge launches a crusade to rid his beloved state of predators and save the girl.But Serge's mission is hampered by one pesky little detail: he's being tracked by a hit man dis-patched from his murky past. And all bets are off when Serge learns the same assassin is responsible for killing the love of his life years ago. It's not long before the two begin tracking each other around Florida in a frenzied Möbius loop.It's a dance only one can survive--it's the Tiger Shrimp Tango!
Welcome to Tim Dorsey's Florida -- where nobody gets out unscathed and untanned! Get five Dorsey novels full of murder and mayhem all set in the wacky world of Florida in one e-book, including: Florida Roadkill, Hammerhead Ranch Motel, Orange Crush, Triggerfish Twist, and The Stingray Shuffle. Mystery fans are in for a wild ride along with Dorsey's favorite character, the lovable serial killer and Floridaphile Serge A. Storms.
Includes: <P> Cadillac Beach: Serge A. Storms is back! The one-man crime spree hits no speed bumps as he swings through Tampa, Disney World, and parts south before settling down in Miami Beach to team up with a former sidekick and launch his long-overdue offbeat travel service.<P> Torpedo Juice: The drinks are on Sunshine State historian/spree killer Serge A. Storms, who's decided it's high time he got married. So he's motoring down to the Florida Keys -- the ultimate end of the line -- in search of Ms. Right... and finding his doped-up basket case bud Coleman along the way. But for Serge, "getting hitched" doesn't necessarily mean "settling down" -- not when South Florida is crawling with slimeballs, swindlers, unrepentant jerks, and annoying bystanders whose ranks need some serious thinning.<P> The Big Bamboo: His marriage plans fizzled, so Floridaphile serial killer Serge A. Storms is on a new mission: to convince the West Coast movie industry bigwigs to do their business in his beloved Sunshine State. So it's off to Tinseltown with his substance-sustained sidekick, Coleman--to schmooze with craven cokehead producers and visiting Yakuza, who are wrestling to salvage the most disastrous big-budget stinkeroo in the history of celluloid . . . and to radically reduce the rampaging population of true Hollywood slimeballs.<P> Hurricane Punch: That lovable, under-undermedicated dispenser of truth, justice, and trivia is back with a vengeance--just as his cherished home state is about to take a beating from a conga line of hurricanes bearing down on the peninsula. But as Serge and his burnout buddy Coleman go storm-chasing, bodies begin turning up at a disturbing rate, even by Florida standards. It looks like a serial killer is on the loose--another serial killer--which highly offends Serge's moral sensibilities. And he vows he'll stop at nothing to unmask his thrill-killing rival and make All Things Right--though Coleman's triathlete approach to the sport of polyabuse binging threatens to derail the mission more completely than the entire combined Sunshine State police community could ever hope to.<P> Atomic Lobster: Serge A. Storms is back with a bullet, torn between homicide and souvenirs, cranking up the fevered action as the pot boils over on a street called Lobster Lane. It's reunion time in the Sunshine State, and we're not just talking the family jamboree of the blood-soaked McGraw criminal clan, whose nastiest, meanest member, finally released from prison, is heading south bent on revenge. Serge's drug-addled bud Coleman's here as well, torn between getting hammered and getting more hammered, while trying to construct the biggest bong ever. Meanwhile the government is covering up a growing list of mysterious victims across Florida who may or may not be connected to a nefarious plot being hatched against national security. Something has set the Non-Confrontationalists off on a rampage. And everyone is rushing to flee Tampa on a cruise ship to hell.
The drinks are on Sunshine State historian/spree killer Serge A. Storms, who's decided it's high time he got married. So he's motoring down to the Florida Keys -- the ultimate end of the line -- in search of Ms. Right . . . and finding his doped-up basket case bud Coleman along the way. But for Serge, "getting hitched" doesn't necessarily mean "settling down" -- not when South Florida is crawling with slimeballs, swindlers, unrepentant jerks, and annoying bystanders whose ranks need some serious thinning.
Ensconced in a lovely tropical villa on idyllic Triggerfish Lane, Jim Davenport anticipates the good life to come. But this isn't living -- it's Florida and the neighborhood is not quite what it seems. It's got overly aggressive Little League parents, drug-free Rastafarians, homicidal hookers, unnatural sex and casual violence. Oh, yes, and there's a psychopathic serial killer-cum-Sunshine-State folklorist named Serge A. Storms living directly across the street. So it's only a matter of time before Jim up and actually kills somebody ...
A quirky new collection by New York Times bestselling author Tim Dorsey. In the tradition of Pineapple Grenade and The Riptide Ultra-Glide, a peculiar new volume of odds and ends from the world of everyone's favorite Florida psychopath--Serge Storms! Among the flotsam and jetsam of Dorsey's twisted universe:A never-before-published Serge Storms short story that places the iconic antihero in one of Florida's oldest (and most remote) little towns.A classic travel feature in London's The Guardian detailing how you can explore Florida's most offbeat hidden corners like a true native. It seems Serge's reputation has spread across the pond!An exclusive teaser chapter from January 2014's Tiger Shrimp Tango, the next installment in the never-ending adventures of Serge Storms.
I'm dreaming of a Serge Christmas . . . Palm trees with twinkle lights . . . Santa's big belly protruding over a neon Speedo . . . It's ho, ho, ho time in this hilarious and wacky Florida holiday tale, featuring bighearted psychopath Serge Storms and his sidekick, Coleman. Like Santa, Serge knows who's been naughty and who's been nice. Few can give with the generosity and creativity of Serge, and as December 24 rolls around, he is filling up the Serge sleigh with an unforgettable bag of presents. But before that, it's all a big free-range Christmas office party, where Serge will be spreading his special cheer. And there's that last-minute go-for-broke spree at the mall (just beware of those attacking elves-they bite). While you're there, skip the lame photo on Santa's lap-Serge will give you a lap ride you'll never forget. As for that addled elf Coleman, there's nothing like a white Christmas. Let it snow! So grab a six-pack, spike the eggnog, and hit the dunes on the beach as Serge and Coleman roast some nuts on an open fire and prove that reindeer really do know how to fly!
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