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A coming-of-middle-age tale told with warmth and wit, Dan Gets a Minivan provides the one thing every parent really needs: comic relief. Whether you're a dude, a dad, or someone who's married to either, fasten your seat belt and prepare to crack up. The least hip citizen of Brooklyn, Dan Zevin has a working wife, two small children, a mother who visits each week to "help," and an obese Labrador mutt who prefers to be driven rather than walked. How he got to this point is a bit of a blur. There was a wedding, and then there was a puppy. A home was purchased in New England. A wife was promoted and transferred to New York. A town house. A new baby boy. A new baby girl. A stay-at-home dad was born. A prescription for Xanax was filled. Gray hairs appeared; gray hairs fell out. Six years passed in six seconds. And then came the minivan. Dan Zevin, master of "Seinfeld-ian nothingness" (Time), is trying his best to make the transition from couplehood to familyhood. Acclimating to the adult-oriented lifestyle has never been his strong suit, and this slice-of-midlife story chronicles the whole hilarious journey--from instituting date night to joining Costco; from touring Disneyland to recovering from knee surgery; from losing ambition to gaining perspective. Where it's all heading is anyone's guess, but, for Dan, suburbia's calling--and his minivan has GPS.
Sooner or later, each of us must face the day we develop a disturbing new interest in lawn care; the day we order sauvignon blanc instead of Rolling Rock; the day we refuse to see any concert where we cannot sit down. Sooner or later, each of us must face the day we turn uncool. Dan Zevin, who "was never exactly Fonz-like to begin with," is having a hilariously hard time moving from his twenties to his thirties, and he confesses everything in these comic not-coming-of-age tales. As he shamefully employs his first cleaning lady, becomes abnormally attached to his dog, and commits flagrant acts of home improvement, Dan's headed for an early midlife crisis--and a better-late-than-never revelation: Growing up is really nothing to be reluctant about. In fact, it's very cool.
Little Miss Basic loves her Uggs, her pumpkin spice lattes, and texting her totes amaze Basic B*tches. But when she gets dumped by her BAE, Mr. Douchebag, she feels sad and ratchet inside. How can a Basic bounce back? Meet her friends from the Little Miss and Mr. ME ME ME parody series: Mr. Selfie, Little Miss Overshare, and Mr. Humblebrag! From the Trade Paperback edition.
Little Miss Overshare is so very generous, she sometimes gives too much. Too much information! In this heartwarming tell-all tale, she informs a senior citizen about her sex life, discusses her digestive system with her roommate, and chit-chats about her lady problems at the office water cooler. Do you know a silly someone who shares more than her fair share? Then you'll want to share Little Miss Overshare! Meet her friends from the Little Miss and Mr. ME ME ME parody series: Mr. Selfie , Mr. Humblebrag and Little Miss Basic! From the Trade Paperback edition.
Silly Mr. Humblebrag. He has fame, fortune, and a hot fiancé, and he can't wait to tell everyone how darn #lucky he is. But what if they hate his guts instead of revel in his success? In this inspiring tribute to false modesty, Mr. Humblebrag learns the most important lesson of all: Everyone loves a winner as long as he acts like a loser. Meet his friends from the Little Miss and Mr. ME ME ME parody series: Mr. Selfie, Little Miss Overshare, and Little Miss Basic! From the Trade Paperback edition.
For Mr. Selfie, every op is a photo op--as long as he is the one in front of the lens. And also behind it! He risks his job taking selfies at work. He risks his life taking selfies at the zoo. And whenever he feels romantic, he whips out his selfie stick and sexts that special someone: himself. Do you know someone with no selfie-control? Then you'll love Mr. Selfie as much as Mr. Selfie does! Meet his friends from the Little Miss and Mr. ME ME ME parody series: Little Miss Overshare, Mr. Humblebrag and Little Miss Basic! From the Trade Paperback edition.
Together you've entered a strange new world of deranged caterers, militant photographers, and prima donna florists. You find yourselves incapable of discussing anything non-nuptial, and you won't rest until you've registered for those perfect pewter grape scissors. Are the two of you going nuts? Nope, you're just planning a wedding..."If you're caught up in the furor of planning a wedding, Nearly Wed could help you maintain a sense of humor long enough to at least have one." -Entertainment Weekly, Erik EsckilsenDan Zevin's latest book is Dan Gets a Minivan: Life at the Intersection of Dude and Dad (Scribner, 2012), which has been optioned by Adam Sandler's Happy Madison Productions along with his previous book, The Day I Turned Uncool. A finalist for the Thurber Prize for American Humor, Dan has followed his readers through each phase of life, from post-college coping (Entry-Level Life) to tying the knot (The Nearly-wed Handbook) to developing a disturbing new interest in lawn care and wine tastings (Uncool). And that was all before he had kids. Which leads us back to this minivan situation.Dan has been a comic commentator for NPR, a humor columnist for The New York Times, and a contributor to print and digital publications including Rolling Stone, The New Yorker, Maxim, Details, Real Simple, and Parents. He also wrote an original sitcom pilot for CBS and Warner Brothers. His latest project is Star Vehicle, a YouTube talk show he hosts inside his minivan.Dan lives with his wife, kids, and pet rabbit in the suburbs of New York, where he has become an active member of his local Costco.