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Jokes for Blokes: The Ultimate Book of Jokes not Suitable for Mixed Company
by Llewellyn Dowd Phil McCrackenWhat is the difference between a dog and a fox? About 9 pintsWhat do you call a man with a 2 inch penis? JustinWhat's pink and hard in the morning? The Financial Times crosswordDid you hear about the consignment of Viagra pills stolen from a warehouse? Police are on the lookout for hardened criminalsAn aeroplane is about to crash, when a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, 'If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman.' She removes all her clothing and asks, 'Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?'A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, 'Here, iron this!'The greatest ever collection of dirty jokes guaranteed to offend and outrage the prudish. Full of hilarious gags, it's totally politically incorrect, unashamedly x-rated and downright filthy. Definitely one to keep well out of the way of the mother-in-law...
Journey To Freedom
by Colin DannLingmere Zoo is about to close and its twin lionesses, Lorna and Ellen, will be put down unless a new home can be found for them. So when a sanctuary in Africa offers to take the animals, Lorna and Ellen begin the long journey together. But Lorna wants her freedom and dramatically escapes ot the English countryside leaving Ellen to face an unknown fate, alone.Can the lionesses survive without each other in their frightening and confusing new worlds? And will they ever meet again?
Just Joe: My Autobiography
by Joe DuffyJoe Duffy takes the pulse of the Irish nation every day on Liveline. Whenever somebody wants to get something off their chest, the advice is often: “Talk to Joe”.Just Joe reveals the private man behind the public voice. Joe writes with raw honesty about his difficult upbringing in working-class Ballyfermot, with a hard-drinking father and hard-working mother, and about his younger brother Brendan, who has drink and drug problems and has spent time in prison. For Joe, education was key to a fresh start. He was one of the first from his area to attend university at Trinity College Dublin. His social justice campaigning led to him becoming President of the Union of Students in Ireland. He spent two weeks in Mountjoy Jail following a protest against government cutbacks. Joe eventually moved into a career in RTÉ Radio, where he first became known as a roving reporter on The Gay Byrne Show, before finally finding his niche on Liveline. Just Joe highlights the major stories and controversies raised by the programme; it also deals with the shocking death in 2010 of Joe’s friend and fellow broadcaster Gerry Ryan.This is a riveting, deeply felt and fascinating memoir of a complex, passionate man.
Just Married & Cooking: 200 Recipes for Living, Eating, and Entertaining Together
by Brooke Parkhurst James BriscioneAfter the bells have chimed, the gifts have been opened, and the honeymoon suitcases have been unpacked, newlywed couples often find themselves wondering, “So, what’s for dinner?” That’s why chef James Briscione and his wife, writer Brooke Parkhurst, put together Just Married and Cooking—a guide to living, eating, and entertaining together.Divided into two sections—“Life As We Know It” and “New Traditions”—Just Married and Cooking is full of valuable advice, easy-to-master techniques, time-saving secrets, and most important, recipes for delicious dishes. In “Life As We Know It,” Brooke and James offer over a hundred recipes for everyday eating. From delectable morning muffins to after-work appetizers and easy-to-prepare dinners, this section has everything young couples need for simple, healthy, and enticing eating. “New Traditions” contains nine menus to help newlyweds mark the special occasions in their new lives together: a glamorous birthday-girl dinner, a fresh and warm spring lunch, a derby-day party complete with a recipe for fail-proof mint juleps, and much more. Including a wedding registry list, suggestions for how to keep a well-stocked pantry, a glossary of frequently used chef terms, and advice for how to plan ahead for easy entertaining, Just Married and Cooking is the cookbook newlywed couples everywhere will turn to time and again for recipes and help navigating the kitchen—whether they are cooking for a quiet*** A delectable new cookbook featuring delicious recipes made with fresh, seasonal ingredients and accompanied by entertaining, informative tips and techniques. Brooke Parkhurst and James Briscione, the newlywed team that teaches popular couples cooking classes at New York’s Institute of Culinary Education and The Culinary Cooperative, navigate the difficulties of a small kitchen, budgetary restrictions, and limited time. Whether readers are looking to prepare everyday meals or special-occasion feasts, Just Married and Cooking is an appealing, practical lifestyle guide for cooking couples everywhere.
K: The Art Of Love
by Hong YingChina, 1930s. Julian Bell, son of the Bloomsbury set's Vanessa, is newly arrived in Peking. In search of fresh experiences, he encounters the beautiful, intelligent and deeply erotic Lin Cheng. Though Lin is wife to a university professor, their passionate assignations blossom into an affair. Schooled in the ancient Taoist arts of love, Lin instructs Julian in the ways of the East. But if society won't tolerate this union between Occidental and Oriental can their love possibly survive?Based on a true story this is a tragic tale of romance, betrayal and sexual desire set against a backdrop of conflict and war.
Katie Morag Of Course!
by Mairi HedderwickThose who have loved the Katie Morag picture books will be delighted to see that Struay's endearing heroine is back in this collection of three ilustrated stories for older children - ideal for building reading confidence.In Saturday Sweets Katie Morag and Liam can't decide which sweets to give Granny Island as a present but they do decide that the best way to make up their minds is to taste all the sweets themselves.In The Pony and the Hamster Katie Morag is thrilled when Granny Island gets a pony called Eriska, but Katie and her friend Agnes soon find out that looking after a pet is a big responsibility. And in The Camping Holiday Katie Morag and the Big Boy Cousins find themselves stranded by the tide but luckily Eriska is on hand to save the day.
Katy Perry: The Unofficial Biography
by Alice MontgomeryThe fascinating account of a girl-next-door turned pop princessEver since the international chart-topping hit, I Kissed a Girl, Katy Perry hasn't stopped making headlines. From reaching number one in charts worldwide to selling out concerts around the globe, her phenomenal success has propelled her to the A-list. But it didn't always seem like she was destined for stardom. Brought up in a deeply religious community, Katy was allowed to listen only to church music. However, with her astounding musical gift, along with plenty of willpower, Katy was determined to follow her dream. Her rise to the top was cemented in 2010, when after a flurry of media gossip, she married the most controversial figure on British TV - Russell Brand. Bestselling biographer Alice Montgomery traces Katy's steps to stardom from her choir girl beginnings to her breakthrough in the music business and her secret wedding ceremony in India, to reveal the intimate story behind the most exciting and unpredictable pop star around.
Keep Calm at Christmas
by VariousEveryone knows 'tis the season to be jolly; when you can roast chestnuts on an open fire, treetops glisten and sleigh bells ring alongside the sound of small children's laughter. However, if you don't think Christmas is the most wonderful time of the year then reach for Keep Calm at Christmas and let its soothing advice reassure you that Christmas comes but once a year.Keep Calm at Christmas follows Keep Calm for Ladies and Keep Calm for Chaps and offers many merry pearls of wisdom to help you get through the festive season; on everything from relatives to office parties, and gluttony to new year resolutions. An insighftul pocket gift for Christmas.'What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day' Phyllis Diller'About all you can do is dream of a white Christmas, for it seems like it always leaves most of us in the red' Anon'Once again, we come to the Holiday Season, a deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice' Anon 'Next to a circus there ain't nothing that packs up and tears out faster than the Christmas spirit' Kin Hubbard'New Year's Day... now is the accepted time to make your regular annual good resolutions. Next week you can begin paving hell with them as usual' Mark Twain
Keep Calm for Chaps: Good Advice for Hard Times
by VariousMy word, it just gets worse and worse doesn't it? Collapsing banks, collapsing countries, massive government cuts, rising debt, inflation and a double dip recession. It's amid all this uncertainty that the already embattled modern man needs the best advice he can get about how to be the best he can. Keep Calm for Chaps offers the same pearls of life wisdom, inspirational quotes, proverbs and mantras as Keep Calm and Carry On, but especially for males at their wits' end. A pocket bible for today's man.'Courage is being scared to death - but saddling up anyway' John Wayne'A gem cannot be polished without friction, nor a man perfected without trials' Lucius Annaeus Seneca 'When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her' Sacha Guitry'Rule number one is, don't sweat the small stuff. Rule number two is, it's all small stuff' Robert Eliot'If you think your boss is stupid, remember: you wouldn't have a job if he was any smarter' Albert A Grant
Keep Calm for Ladies: Good Advice for Hard Times
by VariousWell, it just gets worse and worse doesn't it? Collapsing banks, collapsing countries, massive government cuts, rising debt, inflation and the possibility of a double dip. It's amid all this uncertainty that the already embattled modern woman needs the best advice she can get about how to be as cool and calm in life as possible. Keep Calm for Ladies offers the same pearls of life wisdom, inspirational quotes, proverbs and mantras as Keep Calm and Carry On but with women at their wits' end in mind. An emergency pocket survival bible for today's plucky female.'Don't compromise yourself. You are all you've got' Janis Joplin'A man would prefer to come home to an unmade bed and a happy woman than to a neatly made bed and an angry woman' Marlene Dietrich'Remember, blood is not only much thicker than water, it's much more difficult to get out of the carpet' Phyllis Diller'In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man; if you want anything done, ask a woman' Margaret Thatcher'Never eat more than you can lift' Miss Piggy
Kill All Enemies
by Melvin BurgessEveryone says fourteen-year-old BILLIE is nothing but trouble. A fighter. A danger to her family and friends.But her care worker sees someone different. Her classmate ROB is big, strong; he can take care of himself and his brother.But his violent stepdad sees someone to humiliate. And CHRIS is struggling at school; he just doesn't want to be there.But his dad sees a useless no-hoper. Billie, Rob and Chris each have a story to tell. But there are two sides to every story, and the question is . . . who do you believe?
Kill Me Once
by Jon OsborneNathan Stiedowe is seeking perfection - and he has been learning from the best. Recreating some of the most sickening murders in history, his objective appears chillingly simple, but his true motive remains unclear.On the trail of this sadistic monster is FBI Special Agent Dana Whitestone. Driven by the brutal childhood slaying of her parents, Dana's relentless pursuit of the most evil and twisted criminals has seen her profile many violent cases. But never has she encountered a maniac as demented as Stiedowe, or a mind as horrifyingly disturbed...
Kill the Irishman: The War that Crippled the Mafia
by Rick PorrelloBe sure to see Kill the Irishman—the major motion picture based on Rick Porrello’s true-crime masterpiece! A modern warrior known as Greene Was very quick and smart, and mean. He scrambled hard and fought like hell, And led a charmed existence. They shot him down and blew him up With most regular persistence. —From The Ballad of Danny Greene Clevelan d, the 1970s:A fearless Irishman boldly muscles in on the Italian-American Mafia—intrepid, charismatic, shrewd, cunning, and armed with a master plan to take over the rackets under the auspices of the Irish banner of which he was so fiercely proud. His name is Greene, his signature color is green, and with his Irish luck for surviving bungled mob attempts on his life, he is seemingly indestructible. In the end, the war with Danny Greene—and his ultimate murder—severely crippled the Italian stranglehold on organized crime, with historic repercussions that outlived the unsinkable Irishman himself.
A Killing Season (Medieval Mysteries #8)
by Priscilla RoyalBaron Herbert's return from crusade should have been a joyous occasion. Instead, he grows increasingly morose, withdraws from his family, and refuses to share his wife's bed. When his sons begin to die in strange accidents, some ask whether Herbert harbors a dark sin for which God has cursed him.Then the baron suddenly sends for Sir Hugh of Wynethorpe, begging his friend to bring spiritual and secular healers but giving little explanation for the request. Worried about Herbert's descent into melancholy and the tragic deaths, Sir Hugh persuades his sister, Prioress Eleanor of Tyndal Priory, as well as a respected physician, Master Gamel, to accompany him. Although he is pleased when the prioress brings her healer, Sister Anne, he is surprised to find the mysterious Brother Thomas included.Is there a malign presence at this storm-blasted castle, oddly named Doux et Dur? Tensions spark among family members and soon ignite too among those who came to help. Death's scythe harvests more victims, and it is not long before Ecclesiastes' grim words seem all too apt: there is a season for everything under heaven, including a time to kill....
Killzone: Ascendancy
by Sam Bradbury'There is no poetry or romance in war, it is brutal and ugly and terrifying and it turns men into animals - shrieking, screaming and running while destroying all in their path. It is survival'Visari, the vicious Helghast dictator, is vanquished, lying dead at the feet of ISA forces soldiers Sev and Rico. Yet the battle is far from over. Visari's death has wreaked havoc in the Helghast Empire, leaving a legacy of destruction. His last act of violence - a nuclear bomb - has decimated the Special Forces. Sev and Rico must complete their mission alone. They will fight to the death to keep the ruthless Helghast troops at bay. Based on Sony's bestselling game Killzone 3
Kim
by Rudyard KiplingKipling's epic rendition of the imperial experience in India is also his greatest long work. Two men - Kim, a boy growing into early manhood, and the lama, an old ascetic priest - are fired by a quest. Kim is white, although born in India. While he wants to play the Great Game of imperialism, he is also spiritually bound to the lama and he tries to reconcile these opposing strands. A celebration of their friendship in an often hostile environment, Kim captures the opulence of India's exotic landscape, overlaid by the uneasy presence of the British Raj.Contains an introduction by Harish Trivedi placing the novel in its literary and social context. Also includes notes, chronology, further reading, a General Preface by the series editor Jan Montefiore and Edward Said's famous introduction from the previous Penguin Classics edition as an appendix.
Kindling the Moon: An Arcadia Bell Novel (The\arcadia Bell Ser.)
by Jenn BennettMeet Arcadia Bell: bartender, renegade magician, fugitive from the law. . . .Being the spawn of two infamous occultists (and alleged murderers) isn’t easy, but freewheeling magician Arcadia “Cady” Bell knows how to make the best of a crummy situation. After hiding out for seven years, she’s carved an incognito niche for herself slinging drinks at the demon-friendly Tambuku Tiki Lounge. But she receives an ultimatum when unexpected surveillance footage of her notorious parents surfaces: either prove their innocence or surrender herself. Unfortunately, the only witness to the crimes was an elusive Æthyric demon, and Cady has no idea how to find it. She teams up with Lon Butler, an enigmatic demonologist with a special talent for sexual spells and an arcane library of priceless stolen grimoires. Their research soon escalates into a storm of conflict involving missing police evidence, the decadent Hellfire Club, a ruthless bounty hunter, and a powerful occult society that operates way outside the law. If Cady can’t clear her family name soon, she’ll be forced to sacrifice her own life . . . and no amount of running will save her this time.
King Of The Vagabonds
by Colin Dann'Don't stray into the Quartermile Field. Any animal with sense avoids the spot,' warns Sammy's mother. But Sammy is curious - about the Field, and about his father, the fierce, wild father he's never met. Then one day Sammy discovers that his father has returned. And determined to track him down, Sammy sets off towards the strange, wild land of Quatermile Field - and into a very different and dangerous world . . .
The Krays: The Definitive Inside Story of Britain's Most Notorious Brothers in Crime
by Colin FryTwins Ron and Reg Kray were without doubt the most powerful, violent and deadly gangsters that London has ever known. They ran protection rackets, clubs and casinos, as well as fraudulent 'long firms'. They blackmailed, intimidated and killed - for many years with impunity thanks to their powerful cronies in the Establishment. Working with all five main Mafia families in New York, they were expanding their business worldwide when they were imprisoned for murder in 1968.Featuring revealing new material, The Krays: A Violent Business is the story of their lives - and of the secrets and scandals the British government still doesn't want you to know about.
Kronos
by Guy Adams'What manner of monster can wreak such damage? I only hope you know how it can be stopped.' The peace of an English village is shattered when a young girl withers before her friend's eyes, becoming but dust and bones. Witnessing this terrifying transformation, local physician Dr Marcus fears the village has been cursed by the presence of evil. He immediately summons his old army friend, the mysterious but powerful vampire hunter, Kronos.Together with the help of his assistant Professor Grost, Kronos has dedicated his whole life to destroying vampires. He knows that there is nothing so varied and deadly. With a vampire nothing is certain, especially how one might be able to kill it. As more and more villagers fall prey to this deadly curse, time is against him. And when it comes dangerously close to home, Kronos is faced with a terrible choice...
La Basquaise
by Angel StrandAn unusual, erotic and beautifully written story set in the heady whirl of French society in the 1920s.The lovely Oruela is determined to fit into a lifestyle of opulence among the bright young things of 1920s Biarritz, which is sizzling with decadence. The fabulously wealthy are parading their vices, and she is surrounded by artists, hedonists and intellectuals. Jean is the seemingly devoted lover who will help her realise her wildest dreams. But she has to put her social aspirations on hold when she falls under suspicion for her father's murder. As Oruela becomes embroiled in a series of sensual games, she discovers that blackmail is a powerful weapon that can be used to obtain pleasure as well as money.
The Ladybird Book of London
by John BerryThe Ladybird Book of London is a gem from the Ladybird vintage archive. First published in 1961, this is a classic Ladybird hardback book, packed with information about Britain's capital. This new edition is exactly the same as the original, with a dust jacket and beautifully reproduced images. 'The story of London, her sights and history, is illustrated with twenty-four beautiful full-page pictures. Starting from Trafalgar Square this book takes you through famous streets to see historic buildings, to learn something of the story of Britain's famous capital. Westminster Abbey and St Paul's Cathedral, the Tower, Guildhall and the City, Hampton Court and Kew Gardens, the Zoo and Madame Tussaud's - they are all here.'
L'art de la Simplicité: How to Live More with Less
by Dominique LoreauDiscover the magic of simplicity in this international bestseller, available for the first time in English.Dominque Loreau is the master in the art of de-cluttering and simplifying. Now her groundbreaking L’art de la Simplicité, a huge bestseller in her native France, is translated into English for the first time. Loreau’s principle of “less is more” is set to change your life forever.Living in Japan and inspired by Asian philosophy, Loreau takes you on a step-by-step journey to a clutter-free home, a calm mind and an energized body. Free yourself of possessions you don’t want or need; have more money to spend on life’s little luxuries; eat better and lose weight; and say goodbye to anxiety and negative relationships.Give yourself the gift of health and happiness; to live fully and freely is to live with L’art de la Simplicité.
The Last Expedition
by R. F. ScottWITH AN INTRODUCTION BY SIR RANULPH FIENNESThe Last Expedition is Captain Scott's gripping account of his expedition to the South Pole in 1910-12. It was meant to be a voyage of scientific discovery and a heroic exploration of the last unconquered wilderness. Scott's expedition, carried in the Terra Nova, pitted him and his team not only against the elements but also against the Norwegian explorer, Amundsen. Ultimately, Scott was beaten by both. The journals are full of incident and drama, courage and endurance, hope and bitter disappointment.These journals were found, along with Scott's body, several months after his death and just 11 miles from base camp and safety.
The Last Flannelled Fool: My small part in English cricket's demise and its large part in mine
by Michael SimkinsMichael Simkins is the ultimate Sunday cricketer - passionate, obsessive, technically inept, and hopelessly deluded. When an injury rules him out of an entire season, not only might it spell the end of his long career, he is faced more immediately with a summer aimlessly wandering garden centres and listening to The Archers. He decides instead to set off on an odyssey across the counties of England in search of that golden time in his youth when his passion for the game was first kindled. It's a journey that begins in May in light drizzle at the birthplace of cricket, takes in the burial site of his favourite ground (now a Marks & Spencer) and even stops along the way to flirt with the love child of WG Grace and Kerry Katona that is Twenty20. It ends with the ultimate cricketing zenith - returning to the field of play to bowl an over to Freddie Flintoff in fading light in front of a capacity crowd. So can cricket still bring comfort and meaning to his life or is Old Father Time about to call for Michael's bails?