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Mr. K's Book Of Really Nasty Jokes

by K

Here's what they're saying about Mr. K's Book of Really Nasty Jokes: "I couldn't put it down!" --Benny the Shoplifter, Ferd, New Jersey "Vile. . .utterly disgusting. . .shockingly repulsive. . .and that was just the copyright page!" --Miss Henrietta Starch, Librarian, Prairie Oyster, Texas "This book made me laugh so hard I dropped my dentures into my soup!" --Hiram Crimp, author of Never Trust a Fart: Surviving Old Age with Dignity Mr. K is a pseudonym. He has worked as a pimp in a leper colony in Guatemala, a crash test dummy in Detroit, and a deep sea fisherman in Iowa. From 1989 through 1992 he was in the Federal Witness Protection Program until he was booted out for marrying a horse. He is the author of The Looter's Guide to American Cities and Dial M for Martyr: Suicide Bombing for Beginners. He lives in Oatmeal, Nebraska, with his wife, the former Miss Tequila Mockingbird.

Mr. Lincoln's High-tech War: How The North Used the Telegraph, Railroads, Surveillance Balloons, Ironclads, High-powered Weapons, and More to Win the Civil War

by Roger Macbride Allen Thomas B. Allen

This history lesson for general readership walks the reader through the American Civil War by way of the technologies that allowed Abraham Lincoln and the Union forces to triumph over the Confederacy. The text, loosely laid out in the style of a 19th century newspaper, is supported by b&w primary source materials (photographs, paintings, and political cartoons), as well as contemporary illustrations. Chapters address the involvement in the war of military mass production and the Dahlgren gun, the hot-air balloon, land torpedoes (used by the South), naval technology, photography, the Spencer Repeating Rifle, and civic constructions such as bridges and railroads, among other technologies. Annotation ©2009 Book News, Inc. , Portland, OR (booknews. com)

Mr. Louie Is Screwy! (My Weird School #20)

by Dan Gutman

When the hippie crossing guard, Mr. Louie, puts a love potion in the water fountain before Valentine's Day, everyone at Ella Mentry School falls in love.

Mr. Macky Is Wacky! (My Weird School #15)

by Dan Gutman

It's Presidents' Day! And Mr. Macky, the reading specialist, actually expects A.J. and his friends to read stuff about the presidents! Not only that, but he lives in a log cabin and thinks he's Abraham Lincoln! Is he for real?

Mr. Midshipman Hornblower (The Hornblower Saga, Book 6)

by C. S. Forester

More adventures of Horatio Hornblower during the Napoleonic Wars.

Mr. Monk and The Blue Flu (Monk #3)

by Lee Goldberg

Adrian Monk is horrified when he learns there's going to be a blue flu in San Francisco. He doesn't understand what the blue flu is-but it sounds terrible. Captain Stottlemeyer explains that it's not really a virus: the police force plan to call in "sick" until they get a better contract. The good news is that the labor dispute will give Monk a chance to get back on the force. The bad news is, it means he'll be a "scab"-and he doesn't like the sound of that, either. Before he knows it, Monk has his badge back-and his own squad to command. Unfortunately, some of the squad members make Monk look like a paragon of mental health. But despite the challenges, they'll have to pull together to catch an astrologer's killer, solve a series of mysterious fatal assaults, and, most importantly, clean up their desks.

Mr. Monk and Philosophy: The Curious Case of the Defective Detective

by D. E. Wittkower

Mr. Monk and Philosophy is a carefully and neatly organized collection of eighteen chapters divided into exactly six groups of precisely three chapters each. Drawing on a wide range of philosophers-from Aristotle and Diogenes, to Siddhartha Gautama and St. Thomas Aquinas, to David Hume and Karl Popper-the authors ask how Adrian Monk solves his cases, why he is the way he is, how he thinks, and what we can learn from him. Some of the authors suggest Monk is a kind of tragic hero, whose flaws help us live out and expunge the fear and anxiety we all experience; that he is more than just his personality or memories, but something more individual and indefinable; and that his most distinctive traits are not the traits that make him a detective, but those that make him a friend. His most notable trait is the dedication he shows to his late wife, Trudy.Other authors explore how Monk encounters the world, arguing that his genius comes not from logic or reasoning, but from his ability to see his surroundings in a pre-conceptualized way; that there isn't as much distance between his rational beliefs about crimes and evidence and his irrational phobic beliefs as there might seem; and that his phobias have themselves made him approach himself and the world as something to be overcome.Just how does Mr. Monk come to his conclusions? Does he use inductive, deductive, or abductive reasoning? Is he dependent on a false notion of the law of noncontradiction? Is it possible that his reasoning might have more to do with constructing harmonious stories than it does with evidence, causes, or insights?Some contributors ponder Monk's name and what it means given his views on religion. Some authors argue that Mr. Monk's approach to the world is fundamentally similar to that of medieval monastic orders; that his rituals and deductive 'dancing' show how he exhibits a kind of shamanism; and that he acts in accordance with the Bodhisattva ideal, bringing others to enlightenment through circumstances and by accident, even though he has no such intention or goal.In one chapter, the author asks how the character Monk is related to other similar characters, arguing that Monk and House are closely related characters, each based on the conflict between reason and emotion which exemplifies the motif of the "troubled genius;" that Monk and House both pursue ethical practices and goals even as they fail at the everyday face-to-face ethics of normal social interactions; and that great detectives all, through their flaws, help us to understand and forgive ourselves for our flaws.And finally, there are several chapters in which the authors consider Monk from the psychologist's perspective, discussing how Monk's relationship with Trudy, while having unhealthy codependent elements, demonstrates some important aspects of successful romantic partnerships; how laughter plays a difficult role in mental illness, and the difficult position that the show and therapists are placed in when having to treat seriously disorders that are both tragic and comic; and how, from a psychoanalytic perspective, Monk's inability to mourn shows us why we both reject and are drawn towards death.In the words of author D. E. Wittkower, "In order to be sure that the reader is able to enjoy the book, every chapter will have an even number of words. You'll thank me later."

Mr. Monk and the Dirty Cop (Mr. Monk #8)

by Lee Goldberg

Captain Leland Stottlemeyer relies on Adrian Monk to solve his most baffling cases, but when the captain is faced with budget cuts, Monk's fees are one of the expenses he trims. Monk is too compulsive to stop investigating; he resorts to calling in tips under assumed names, infuriating the captain. But when Stottlemeyer is arrested for murder, he turns to the only detective who can prove his innocence. That is, if Monk can overcome some potentially crippling obstacles along the way?

Mr. Monk and the New Lieutenant

by Hy Conrad

An all-new story starring Adrian Monk by Edgar® Award-nominated Monk screenwriter and coexecutive producer Hy Conrad.It's compulsive, page-turning fun.Monk and Natalie have finally settled into a new office routine. <P><P>Now they just need to work things out with their neighbors--a print shop run by hippies whose music leaks through the walls, driving Monk nuts. But the detectives soon have a more serious conflict to deal with: Captain Stottlemeyer's new lieutenant, A.J. Cartledge--a man of limited skills whom Monk finds insufferable. <P>Even the presence of Lieutenant Cartledge won't keep Monk and Natalie from attending the funeral of Judge Oberlin, and it's a good thing. In typical fashion, Monk examines the body in the casket--and finds evidence of poison. The judge was murdered.While there are no traces of the poison at the judge's house, Monk detects that there had been an intruder. The next rainy day, when Captain Stottlemeyer begins to show the same symptoms, Monk deduces that there's a diabolical killer at work, someone who wanted both the judge and the captain dead. <P>Monk and Natalie turn to the captain's ex-lieutenant in Summit, New Jersey for help, but even that might not be enough to solve this crime. With his friend in danger and an enemy close, Monk will have to put his reservations aside to crack the case in time.

Mr. Monk and the Two Assistants (Mr. Monk #4)

by Lee Goldberg

Obsessive. Compulsive. Detective. The husband of Monk's former assistant, Sharona, has been arrested for murder. Now back in San Francisco, she's ready to reclaim her place in Monk's life-much to the chagrin of his current assistant, Natalie. <P><P>While Monk tries to maintain a delicate balance between the two women, he discovers a few unsettling snags in the case against Sharona's husband, and may be up against a killer who not only understands him, but is one step ahead.

Mr. Monk Gets Even

by Lee Goldberg

An all-new original mystery starring Adrian Monk, the brilliant investigator who always knows when something's out of place.... It may be a foggy San Francisco summer, but for Adrian Monk the future is looking bright. <p><p>Natalie is off working as a cop in Summit, his brother Ambrose and Yuki are a week away from their wedding, Monk has a new assistant--Natalie's daughter Julie--and even a girlfriend, Ellen Morse. All this change doesn't keep Monk from work, though. He's investigating a string of accidental deaths and suicides that he quickly determines are actually murders. But when the man Monk pegs for the murder is killed, Monk is forced to face the fact that, for the first time, he might actually be wrong. Have stability, domesticity, and happiness robbed Monk of his special skills? Has Monk lost his mojo? <p>Meanwhile, Monk's imprisoned arch nemesis, the morbidly obese criminal mastermind Dale the Whale, is being transferred from prison to San Francisco General Hospital for an operation. But when Dale escapes and all signs point to Captain Stottlemeyer as his accomplice, Monk will have to reboot his detective skills to clear the captain's name--and prove that he's still the one and only Monk.

Mr. Monk Gets on Board (Mr. Monk #17)

by Hy Conrad

Obsessive. Compulsive. Detective. An all-new original mystery starring Adrian Monk, the brilliant investigator who always knows when something's out of place... Of all the things that make Adrian Monk uneasy, change ranks high on the list. <p><p>So when Natalie completes her P.I. license--and technically becomes Monk's boss--it's not easy for him to accept. Nor can he accept Natalie attending a business seminar at sea without him, even if it means spending a week with her on a cruise ship. Between choppy waters and obnoxious kids, Monk finds himself in a perfect storm of anxiety. Luckily, Mariah, the cruise director, is always able to smooth things over...until someone pulls the man overboard alarm, the ship drops anchor--and the crew fishes Mariah's dead body out of the water. Finding alcohol in Mariah's system, the ship's doctor declares her death an accident, but Monk isn't convinced. <P>He knows that Mariah and the captain were having an affair. Could someone have pushed her overboard? When the captain hires Monk and Natalie to look into a mysterious rash of vandalism onboard, Monk steers the investigation toward murder...From the Hardcover edition.

Mr. Monk Goes to Germany (Mr. Monk #6)

by Lee Goldberg

Adrian Monk is on a roll solving murders as fast as they come, and not counting his Wheat Chex until they're in the bowl. But when his therapist, Dr. Kroger, leaves for Germany, Monk can't tie his shoes, forgets how to swallow, and loses track of his blinking. <P><P>Desperate, he follows Dr. Kroger to Germany where he sees a man with six fingers. The man responsible for his wife's death or was it just his imagination? Now Monk has to deal with his phobias and the unfriendly polizei to find his man.

Mr. Monk Goes to Hawaii (Monk #2)

by Lee Goldberg

Some people think that Hawaii is a paradise, but Monk knows that, like dirt, danger lies everywhere. Monk suspects that the death of a rich tourist, Helen Gruber, who took a blow on the head from a coconut, is anything but an accident. His assistant, Natalie, isn't thrilled about Monk's new assignment - it was bad enough him following her on vacation and now it looks as though the holiday is well and truly over. However, finding the killer proves harder than initially thought - and that's without the added complications of geckos and unsynchronised ceiling fans!

Mr. Monk Goes to the Firehouse (Mr. Monk #1)

by Lee Goldberg

Monk's house is being fumigated, and he has nowhere to go. Fortunately, his assistant Natalie and her daughter are kind enough to welcome him into their home. Unfortunately, their home is not quite up to Monk's standards of cleanliness and order.<P><P> But while Monk attempts to arrange his surroundings just so, something else needs to be put straight. The death of a dog at the local firehouse-on the same night as a fatal house fire-has led Monk into a puzzling mystery. And much to his horror, he's going to have to dig through a lot of dirt to find the answer.

Mr. Monk Helps Himself (Mr. Monk #16)

by Hy Conrad

Welcome to the series of original mysteries starring Adrian Monk, the brilliant investigator who always knows when something's out of place.... Natalie is taking a break from studying for her PI license--the last step to becoming Monk's full partner. <P><P>She sneaks off to Half Moon Bay for a retreat run by Miranda Bigley, leader of the Best Possible Me self-help program, but her plans for a relaxing weekend are disrupted when Monk tracks her down to rescue her from the "cult." Their argument is cut short when Miranda, in full view of everyone, calmly walks to the edge of a cliff and jumps.Even though Miranda's death looks like suicide, Natalie is sure it's murder. But Monk brushes her off to help the SFPD solve the murder of a clown, despite his coulrophobia, aka fear of clowns. <P>As Monk and Natalie begin their independent investigations, they quickly learn that if they want to figure out whodunit, they will have to find a way to become true partners.

Mr. Monk in Outer Space (Mr. Monk #5)

by Lee Goldberg

First time in PaperbackBased on the hit USA Network series-- from Edgar® Award-nominated Monk screenwriter Lee GoldbergMonk journeys into the realm of the cult science fiction show Beyond Earth--where he meets fans just as obsessive-compulsive as he is. Though he's not preoccupied with the program himself, Monk can understand where they're coming from. But there may be a killer among them: someone in a starship uniform has gunned down the show's creator

Mr. Monk in Trouble (Mr. Monk #9)

by Lee Goldberg

Ever since a 1962 unsolved train robbery made it famous, people have flocked to the town of Trouble in California's gold country, searching for the booty that train robbers supposedly dumped off the Golden Rail Express in a botched heist.<P><P> When the town museum's watchman is murdered, Adrian Monk and his assistant, Natalie, are sent to investigate. But if Monk isn't careful, he'll learn that the town of Trouble can live up to its name.

Mr. Monk is a Mess (Mr. Monk #14)

by Lee Goldberg

Obsessive. Compulsive. Detective.An all-new original mystery starring Adrian Monk, the brilliant investigator who always knows when something's out of place....No one likes to come home to a mess--least of all Monk and Natalie. <P><P>But when they return briefly to San Francisco from an extended stay working as cops in New Jersey, Natalie discovers somebody has been sleeping in her bed. But this Goldilocks is not asleep. She's dead.If that's not bad enough, investigators find marked money from a Federal sting operation stuffed under Natalie's mattress. Now her life is a real mess and she needs Monk's help to clean it up.But Monk has problems of his own. His brother Ambrose is desperate to find Yuki, his missing lover, but his agoraphobia prevents him from leaving the house. Ambrose needs a man on the outside--and that man is Monk, who is torn, because he's glad to see her go.<P>As the two investigations begin, and the body count rises, it quickly becomes clear to Monk that Yuki has a dangerous past...and that they are pursuing a ruthless, cold-blooded killer that nobody would ever want to mess with...

Mr. Monk is Cleaned Out (Monk #10)

by Lee Goldberg

Monk's been swindled out of his savings-but now it's payback time, in the latest original mystery featuring everyone's favorite OCD detective. In the midst of a financial crisis, the SFPD fires Adrian Monk as a consultant. Monk figures he can live off his savings for a while. Then Natalie learns that Monk invested his money some time ago with Bob Sebes, the charismatic leader of Reinier Investments, who's just been arrested on charges of orchestrating a massive $100 million fraud. All of Sebes' clients-including Monk-are completely wiped out. When the key witness in the government's case against Sebes is killed, Monk is convinced that Sebes did it, but the man has been under house arrest with a horde of paparazzi in front of his building 24/7. Monk may be broke, but he's got plenty of time on his hands to solve this latest mystery. . .

Mr. Monk is Miserable (Mr. Monk #7)

by Lee Goldberg

Based on the hit USA network series- from edgar(r) Award - nominated Monk screenwriter lee GoldbergAdrian Monk and his assistant Natalie are in Paris, touring the shadowy catacombs that wind beneath the city streets, lined with millions of centuries-old human bones. <P><P>Of course, Monk notices one particular skull, declaring that the person was killed recently. With the delights of Paris overshadowed by murder, Monk will have to think fast-and see in the dark-if he's going to catch a cunning killer.

Mr. Monk Is Open For Business (Mr. Monk #18)

by Hy Conrad

Welcome to the series of original mysteries starring Adrian Monk--based on the hit USA Network series Monk, starring Tony Shaloub--the brilliant investigator who always knows when something's out of place.... <P><P> Failing to win back his girlfriend in New Jersey, Monk returns to San Francisco where Natalie has set up an office for Monk and Teeger, Consulting Detectives. It's time to stop bickering and get to work when Lieutenant Amy Devlin comes to them for help. <P> A disgruntled employee came into work and started shooting, killing three coworkers and leaving a female hostage severely wounded. After spotting the shooter through office windows, the police lost him--leaving Lieutenant Devlin with a real mess on her hands. <P> Visiting the bedridden survivor, Monk finds her to be helpful, cooperative...and quite charming as well. But the more he and Natalie try to track down the assailant, the more he seems to have disappeared from existence altogether....

Mr. Monk on Patrol (Monk #13)

by Lee Goldberg

OBSESSIVE. COMPULSIVE. DETECTIVE. An all-new original mystery starring Adrian Monk, the brilliant investigator who always knows when something's out of place ... Everything has been going well for former SFPD lieutenant Randy Disher in Summit, New Jersey, where he lives with Monk's previous assistant, Sharona, and works as the new police chief. But when the city's leadership is arrested for fraudulently inflated salaries, Disher suddenly finds himself as the acting mayor. Now Disher has to manage the police department and shoulder the day-to-day responsibility of running a town that is in the midst of a wave of residential robberies. In desperation, Disher reaches out to the one person he knows he can trust to solve the crimes: Adrian Monk. When Monk and his assistant, Natalie, arrive in New Jersey, Disher makes them temporary police officers. Summit is about to become the cleanest and most symmetrical city on earth. But then the string of home burglaries escalates to arson and murder ... and someone tries very, very hard to send Monk and Natalie back to San Francisco in coffins. Follow Monk's hilarious and poignant triumphs and frustrations in the fine series based on the popular award-winning Monk television programs.

Mr. Monk on the Couch (Monk #12)

by Lee Goldberg

An all-new original mystery starring Adrian Monk, the brilliant investigator who always knows when something's out of place . . . Natalie Teeger has picked up a few detective skills of her own during her years as Adrian Monk's loyal assistant--and she's eager to put them to use. But that's not easy when you work with a deductive genius who can solve a murder in no time. But Natalie gets her chance when a man with no identity is found dead of natural causes, and neither Monk nor the police see any reason to get involved in the case. It also helps that Monk becomes distracted by a crime-scene cleaning crew's ability to clean up the worst messes imaginable. He gets plenty of opportunities to see them at work as he investigates several particularly brutal murders that seem to be tied to a worthless secondhand couch. With a little help from Monk's agoraphobic brother, Natalie tackles her own investigation while also helping Monk track the couch by following a bloody trail that could lead them to the most ruthless killer they've ever encountered.

Mr. Monk on the Road (Monk #11)

by Lee Goldberg

With his job secure and his wife's murder finally solved, Adrian Monk is feeling strangely satisfied. He'd like his agoraphobic brother Ambrose to feel the same way, so Monk puts a secret ingredient in Ambrose's birthday cake: sleeping pills. When Ambrose wakes up, he's in a motorhome on the open road, with Monk determined to show him the outside world. But Ambrose isn't the only one struggling to let go. As little crimes pop up along the highway, Monk can't resist getting involved. . .

Showing 100,426 through 100,450 of 139,599 results


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