- Table View
- List View
Autobiography of British comedienne who retold opera and classic literature plots, played the bagpipes and more.
Sometimes I'm scared of dogs.I'm not scared when they give me kisses.Sometimes I'm scared I will make a mistake.I'm not scared when I know I tried my best.With his signature blend of playfulness and sensitivity, Todd Parr explores the subject of all things scary and assures readers that all of us are afraid sometimes.
I'm Not the Biggest Bitch in This Relationship: Hilarious, Heartwarming Tales about Man's Best Friends from America's Favorite Humoristsby Wade Rouse
An anthology of bark-out-loud original essays about dogs from some of today's most popular writers. Critically acclaimed memoirist Wade Rouse has gathered some of America's best known humorists- authors, comedians, and actors-to offer biting commentary on what it means to share a life, and a heart, with a dog. From battling for bed space to trying to transform a pampered NYC pup into a Texas rawhide, and from helping a shelter rescue navigate through her new life to interpreting dog run dynamics (and politics), being a canine companion has challenges as tough as any agility course, but laughter is just a tail-wag away. This collection features uncanny insight and witty prose from. . . Jen Lancaster Rita Mae Brown Laurie Notaro Jane Green Beth Harbison W. Bruce Cameron and many others, including a Foreword by Chelsea Handler's dog, Chunk
Thirteen-year-old Ginger becomes the target of a disturbed woman who believes that Ginger is her dead daughter.
A high school junior finds her ideal boyfriend, only to feel stifled by their constant togetherness.
Barbara Johnson writes from her own personal experience and the letters she has received from hundreds of hurting women. She shares hope and wit to cheer parents in desperate circumstances.
What if your best friend, whom you've always counted on to flounder in life and love (making your own modest accomplishments look not so bad), suddenly starts to surpass you in every way? Wendy's best friend, Daphne, has always been dependably prone to catastrophe. And Wendy has always been there to help. If Daphne veers from suicidal to madly in love, Wendy offers encouragement. But when Daphne is suddenly engaged, pregnant, and decorating a fabulous town house in no time at all, Wendy is... not so happy for her. Caught between wanting to be the best friend she prides herself on being and crippling jealousy of flighty Daphne, Wendy takes things to the extreme, waging a full-scale attack on her best friend-all the while wearing her best, I'm-so-happy-for-you smile-and ends up in way over her head. Rosenfeld has a knack for exposing the not-always-pretty side of being best friends--in writing that is glittering and diamond-sharp. I'M SO HAPPY FOR YOU is a smart, darkly humorous, and uncannily dead-on novel about female friendship.
Who doesn't enjoy a well-made drink and the opportunity for a little creative misbehavior? Anne Taintor's deliciously wry artwork is the perfect complement for the dozens of fabulous drink recipes in this chic collection. From classic sips-with-a-twist to unexpected treats such as the Greta Garbo, Slinky Mink, and 3 A.M. on a School Night, these sinfully delectable cocktails add style to any high-spirited occasion. Surely it's five o'clock somewhere . . . .
Elizabeth: She IS my sister. I mean, we do hang out together. So what's the big deal if I want to spend time with my friends for once? Jessica: I thought sisters were supposed to come first. But I guess some people don't agree. Fine. Hey, I've got friends too.
It's the People, Stupid! Karen Phelan is sorry. She really is. She tried to do business by the numbers--the management consultant way--developing measures, optimizing processes, and quantifying performance. The only problem is that businesses are run by people. And people can't be plugged into formulas or summed up in scorecards. Phelan dissects a whole range of consulting treatments for unhealthy companies and shows why they're essentially fad diets: superficial would-be fixes that don't result in lasting improvements and can cause serious damage. With a mix of clear-eyed business analysis, heart-wrenching stories, and hard-won lessons for both consultants and the people who hire them, this book is impossible to put down and impossible to ignore. Karen Phelan and other consultants may have "broken" your company, but she's eager to make amends. "Finally, an author challenging our broken management models who has credibility--she has been there. Karen Phelan not only explains why the emperor--our sacred ways of managing--has no clothes but provides us with insightful alternatives that promise to add real value to our organizations and the people that make them function." --Dean Schroeder, award-winning coauthor of Ideas Are Free "Funny, irreverent, and outrageous, this book is making a deeply serious point: talking to actual people and figuring out how to help them work together better is what's going to make organizations stronger, not another PowerPoint presentation." --Rosina L. Racioppi, President and CEO, Women Unlimited, Inc.
After living in Britain for two decades, Bill Bryson recently moved back to the United States with his English wife and four children (he had read somewhere that nearly 3 million Americans believed they had been abducted by aliens--as he later put it, "it was clear my people needed me"). They were greeted by a new and improved America that boasts microwave pancakes, twenty-four-hour dental-floss hotlines, and the staunch conviction that ice is not a luxury item. Delivering the brilliant comic musings that are a Bryson hallmark, I'm a Stranger Here Myself recounts his sometimes disconcerting reunion with the land of his birth. The result is a book filled with hysterical scenes of one man's attempt to reacquaint himself with his own country, but it is also an extended if at times bemused love letter to the homeland he has returned to after twenty years away.
Shirley Neitzel and Nancy Winslow Parker are back with what may just be their best picture-book rebus yet. After all, who can resist a ride on a train? And with words like locomotive, boxcar, tanker, tunnel, trestle, and caboose, the cumulative story invites imaginative play while building vocabulary and basic reading skills. Pure fun for young engineers. Picture descriptions added.
Essence bestselling author Karen E. Quinones Miller brings readers "a rollicking and robust tale of incest and love, sister and mother bonds, career success, and the lure of the streets" (The Philadelphia Inquirer).Faith Freeman has a secret: When she was eleven years old, she caught her stepfather molesting her twin sister, Hope. Years later, Faith is a successful literary agent. Her twin, addled by drugs and prostitution, struggles through life on the Harlem streets. When Hope seems to have set her sights on Faith's man, the tender bonds of sisterhood are cruelly tested. Will the truth about their darkest hour finally be revealed? I'm Telling "deftly shares the pain and desperation of a family shaken to the core" (Booklist). For anyone who has ever chosen between speaking up and backing down, this impassioned novel lights the way toward love and redemption.
Comedian. Icon. TV star. Hollywood casualty. Role model. Trash talker. Fag hag. Gypsy. Tramp. Thief. Margaret Cho is the only living human being to be all these things without having multiple personality disorder and she displays them all in this funny, fierce, and honest memoir. At age sixteen Margaret dropped out of school and began touring as a standup comedian. By twenty-three she was the star of her own sitcom, "All-American Girl", the groundbreaking show featuring television's first Asian American family. But the road to fame wasn't smooth, and when the sitcom crashed and burned, so did Margaret. Without ever losing her trademark humor, Margaret tells her astonishing tale of dieting her way into the hospital, drinking her way into oblivion, then rising from the ashes in her smash-hit one-woman show and record-breaking concert film. As one of the country's most visible Asian Americans, she has a unique perspective on identity and acceptance. As one of the country's funniest and most quoted personalities, she takes no prisoners. And as a warm and wise woman who has seen the highs and lows of life, she has words of encouragement for anyone who has ever felt like an outsider. I'm the One That I Wantis filled with dead-on insights about the experience of being a woman with attitude. In her own wicked style, Margaret Cho has written a book every bit as funny, shocking, and irreverent as she is.
Why Wait to Feel Good Again? If you're in your thirties or forties, your body is changing, and so are your moods, sleep, health, and weight. Tired of being at the mercy of your hormones? Armed with the knowledge in this book, you don't have to be. Perimenopause can be enjoyable if you know what to do. I'm Too Young for This! details how you can get your body and mind back on track, safely and without drugs, including: - How our bodies transition hormonally--from puberty through perimenopause. - The common complaints of perimenopause--and hidden factors that may keep you symptomatic. - What are the minor and major hormones, and the important role they play in feeling good and staying vibrant and healthy. - What to eat--including Perimenopausal Power Foods--as well as other lifestyle shifts that are critical to your successful transition. - Cutting-edge research that proves the safety and efficacy of bioidentical hormone replacement (BHRT). - The Symptom Solver: a state-of-the-art guide to immediate relief for your hormonal complaints. Plus, how to find the right doctor as well as get your most frequently asked questions answered by expert hormone specialists.Your life is about to change for the better. You can feel great, be vibrant, healthy, thin, and sexy! This book shows you how.
The beloved bestselling author of Forever Fifty and Suddenly Sixty now tackles the ins and outs of becoming a septuagenarian with her usual wry good humor. Fans of Judith Viorst's funny, touching, and wise poems about turning thirty, forty, fifty, and sixty will love this new volume for the woman who deeply believes she is too young to be seventy, "too young in my heart and my soul, if not in my thighs. "Viorst explores, among the many other issues of this stage of life, the state of our sex lives and teeth, how we can stay married though thermostatically incompatible, and the joys of grandparenthood and shopping. Readers will nod with rueful recognition when she asks, "Am I required to think of myself as a basically shallow woman because I feel better when my hair looks good?," when she presses a few helpful suggestions on her kids because "they may be middle aged, but they're still my children," and when she graciously -- but not too graciously -- selects her husband's next mate in a poem deliciously subtitled "If I Should Die Before I Wake, Here's the Wife You Next Should Take." Though Viorst acknowledges she is definitely not a good sport about the fact that she is mortal, her poems are full of the pleasures of life right now, helping us come to terms with the passage of time, encouraging us to keep trying to fix the world, and inviting us to consider "drinking wine, making love, laughing hard, caring hard, and learning a new trick or two as part of our job description at seventy. I'm Too Young to Be Seventy is a joy to read and makes a heartwarming gift for anyone who has reached or is soon to reach that -- it's not so bad after all -- seventh decade.
A young girl describes what it is like to live with asthma, how this condition affects the body, some of the things that trigger an attack, and what can be done to avoid problems.
In this first-person narrative, nine-year-old Natalie explains what Type I diabetes is and what she has to do in order to keep herself well. Natalie's family helps her manage her diabetes, too. With her mom, she plans and makes meals and snacks that keep her blood sugar levels stable. With her dad, she checks over "Philomena," her diabetes kit, and prepares to give herself shots one day by injecting a needle into an orange. Her sister, Kelsey, helps, too -- by staying up with Natalie when her blood sugar is low or taking all her Halloween candy! They also practice what to do if Natalie needs emergency help. With the support of her family, her doctor, and her dietitian, Natalie is able to manage her diabetes and continue to do all the things she loves.
Broken Heart is the city with the highest rate of divorce and highest percentage of single parents in Oklahoma. And I, Jessica Matthews, have been a member of that club ever since my husband dumped me for his twenty-something secretary and then had the gall to die in a car accident. Now I'm not just a single mother trying to make ends meet in this crazy world....I'm also a vampire. One minute I was taking out the garbage; the next I awoke sucking on the thigh of super-hot vampire Patrick O'Halloran. But though my stretch marks have disappeared and my vision has improved, I can't rest until the thing that did this to me is caught. My kids' future is at stake...as is my sex life. Once a vampire does the dirty deed, it hitches her to the object of her affection for at least one hundred years. I just don't know if I am ready for that kind of commitment...
His VictimsThe first kill was easy. The second even easier. No guilt, no remorse, just a rush of adrenaline surging through him as each life drained away, and the pleasure of knowing that their deaths would help his beloved Lindsay. And there are still so many more who deserve to die. . . His GameThe first twisted gift to Lindsay O'Neil arrives hidden in a bouquet of flowers. When her estranged husband, Detective Zack Kier, is assigned to the case, Lindsay's past comes back with a vengeance. Because only Zack knows the dark secret she liveswith - or so she thinks. Now nothing can prepare her for the nightmare to come. . . His ObsessionEverything Lindsay's stalker does, every life he takes, is for her. But when Lindsay spurns his gifts, she and those she loves most become targets of a depraved madman whose rage is growing, and who is waiting, watching, closer than she ever feared . . . www. maryburton. com
Building on COUNT TO TEN's success, I'M WATCHING YOU confirms Karen Rose's status as the new queen of the thriller. Star prosecutor Kristen Mayhew has a dangerous, secret admirer. He seems to knows her every thought, her every move. He sends her letters. And he kills the criminals she herself is powerless to stop. This avenger even knows Kristen's deepest secret - the one that has made her keep her distance from Abe Reagan, the police detective sent to protect her. In the shadow of a calculating serial killer, the two have no alternative but to work together if they are to stop the messages and halt the vicious murders. Because sooner or later, the killer's obsessive need for retribution will make Kristen a target and then their real problems will begin...
When Kas meets William on a South African game preserve, he is the perfect catch--this safari ranger is gorgeous, brave (he saved the tour from sure death by wild rhino) and kind. Both her handsome gay best friend Max and her beautiful straight best friend Libby are desperate to kiss the man, as is anyone who casts eyes on this stunning creature...but he seems to have eyes only for Kas. The fling is fun, but Kas must return to NY and her job as a lowly assistant to a literary agent. She leaves with the idle offer that William should come visit. But when he loses his job for fraternizing with a guest, the idle offer becomes terrible reality, because William is on his way, and only now does it become apparent how incredibly limited his intellectual capacities are. An aspiring writer who can't actually write, William makes Kevin Federline look like Einstein. His email missives might be mistaken for hieroglyphics--not that he'd know how to pronounce that word, let alone spell it--but they seem to express devotion for Kas, and a hope that she'll help him publish his treatise on the dire political situation in Monaco. Not the book that is destined to set the literary world afire... Once he moves in, it is clear that he has no money and no prospects--all he seems good for is staring intently at a blank computer screen, running up crazy bills on the psychic friends network in the mistaken belief that they really ARE his friends, and generally taking what remaining shreds of sanity Kas has left. In short, Kas is held captive by her dumb new boyfriend, and readers are along for the hilarious ride.
The size and severity of the global climate crisis is such that even the most committed environmentalists are liable to live in a state of denial. The award-winning writers collected here have made it their task to shake off this nagging disbelief, bringing the incomprehensible within our grasp and shaping an emotional response to the deterioration of our global habitat. From T. C. Boyle's account of early eco-activists, to Nathaniel Rich's vision of a near future where oil sells for $800 a barrel--these ten provocative, occasionally chilling, sometimes satirical stories bring a human reality to disasters of inhuman proportions.Royalties from I'm With the Bears will go to 350.org, an international grassroots movement working to reduce the amount of carbon dioxide in the atmosphere.
There was a hot-looking man in her kitchen. And he was cooking!Maureen Hart had never had a summer so crazy. . . not even the year she'd become a teenage unwed mother. Now her life was on track with a steady boyfriend and a big promotion looming. And the one person who could derail everything was now waiting on her doorstep! Maureen's estranged daughter desperately needed her to care for her six-year-old son for several months. She just never imagined when she said yes that the child's gorgeous paternal grandfather, Daniel, would insist on staying, as well. Quarters were getting interestingly close. But Maureen was technically almost engaged. . . and a workaholic. . . and a control freak. And totally about to cut loose and indulge in a little fun with a man capable of doing his own laundry!
Like The Story of O, The Image is a love story of an unconventional sort. The shifting relationship between the three protagonists demonstrates the essential, inescapable complicity between master and slave, torturer and victim, in any affair.
Select your download format based upon: 1) how you want to read your book, and 2) compatibility with your reading tool. For more details, visit the Formats page under the Getting Started tab.See and hear words read aloud
- DAISY Text - See words on the screen and hear words being read aloud with the text-to-speech voice installed on your reading tool. Navigate by page, chapter, section, and more. Can also be used in audio-only mode. Compatible with many reading tools, including Bookshare’s free reading tools.
- DAISY Text with Images - Similar to DAISY Text with the addition of images within the Text. Your reading tool must support images.
- Read Now with Bookshare Web Reader - Read and see images directly from your Internet browser without downloading! Text-to-speech voicing and word highlighting are available on Google Chrome (extension installation required). Other browsers can be used with limited features. Learn more
- DAISY Audio - Listen to books in audio-only mode with the high-quality Kendra voice by Ivona pre-installed. Navigate by page, chapter, section, and more. Must be used with a DAISY Audio compatible reading tool.
- MP3 - Listen to books in audio-only mode with the high-quality Kendra voice by Ivona pre-installed. Navigate using tracks. Can be used with any MP3 player.
- BRF (Braille Ready Format) - Read with any BRF compatible refreshable braille display; navigate using the search or find feature.
- DAISY Text - Read with any DAISY 3.0 compatible refreshable braille display, navigate by page, chapter, section, and more.
- Embossed Braille - Use Bookshare’s DAISY Text or BRF formats to generate embossed braille.