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Contemporary teen fiction with romance, secrets, scandals, and ESP from the author of Ten Things We Did (And Probably Shouldn't Have).We weren't always like this. We used to be average New York City high school sophomores. Until our homeroom went for flu shots. We were prepared for some side effects. Maybe a headache. Maybe a sore arm. We definitely didn't expect to get telepathic powers. But suddenly we could hear what everyone was thinking. Our friends. Our parents. Our crushes. Now we all know that Tess is in love with her best friend, Teddy. That Mackenzie cheated on Cooper. That, um, Nurse Carmichael used to be a stripper. Since we've kept our freakish skill a secret, we can sit next to the class brainiac and ace our tests. We can dump our boyfriends right before they dump us. We know what our friends really think of our jeans, our breath, our new bangs. We always know what's coming. Some of us will thrive. Some of us will crack. None of us will ever be the same. So stop obsessing about your ex. We're always listening."Smart and frequently hilarious."--Publishers Weekly, starred"A tour-de-force comic narration that will leave you gasping in awe--if you ever catch your breath from laughing."--E. Lockhart, author of We Were Liars"Hilarious, moving, and utterly ingenious."--Robin Wasserman, author of The Book of Blood and Shadow and The Waking Dark "Sarah Mlynowski does it again with a fresh, fun, and fabulous story filled with secrets, surprises, and a sixth sense. Don't even THINK about passing up this hilarious read!" --Elizabeth Eulberg, author of The Lonely Hearts Club "Finally, someone understands that if you develop powers as a teenager, it's not the government you have to watch out for--it's your best friends. Funny, realistic, heartfelt, satiric, and unpredictable." --Ned Vizzini, New York Times bestselling author of It's Kind of a Funny Story
The first salvo to restore objectionable jokes to the office. They're rude, crude, and grounds for immediate termination. And so funny, readers will laugh until coffee comes out their noses. Here is a book that brings un-P. C. jokes to their rightful place: the office.
Perfect for lawyers and those who hate them. How are lawyer jokes different from lawyers? Lawyer jokes never lose their appeal. Everyone likes to make fun of lawyers. The problem is that not all lawyer jokes are funny. This book separates the good from the bad-for belly laughs aplenty.
Discusses how to develop and maintain healthy self-esteem and a positive attitude.
From the Bookjacket: Duck and Gander are having a contest. But Duck swims faster, and Gander flies higher. So which one is the champion? Then Duck gets an idea: "Don't move," she says. "Don't talk. Don't fidget a feather! And the winner will be the one and only, true and forever champion of champions." But as Duck and Gander stand stock still, along come a host of visitors- including Fox. Will Duck run? Will Gander? Which is the real champion? Gentle, funny, and true to life, Erica Silverman's story was inspired by the children next door. S. D. Schindler's rendering of Duck and Gander, which captures perfectly their spirit of rivalry-and of friendship-was simply inspired. The result is another irresistible book by the creators of Big Pumpkin.
Baba Yaga, The Golden Arm, and Monster Gogo all come out to play with the imaginations of the boys this time. Children around the world all know that they mustn't forget important things and these generously illustrated tellings from Russia, England, and West Africa drive the point home in a memorable way.From the Trade Paperback edition.
At College, Aisha has room mate troubles, Jake has no room, Zoey loves everything about California, Claire is realizing how good it was to have friends on the island, and Ben's sight is getting worse and worse. Back on the island, Lucas and Nina are missing their friends, especially Zoey. And, don't forget Lara. As if anyone could! She's lied, schemed, and manipulated herself into everyone's lives. But now she's turning her own life around, and it feels great. There's only one problem--the terrifying dreams of fire that haunt her sleep. Their lives have changed drastically since Zoey fooled around in the first book of the Making Out series and bigger changes are ahead in the last three books that follow Don't Forget Lara. Read the full story in this 28 book series about these teenagers who flirt, get hurt, fall in and fall out of love, including: #1 Zoey Fools Around, #2 Jake Finds Out, #3 Nina Won't Tell, #4 Ben's In Love, #5 Claire Gets Caught, #6 What Zoey Saw, #7 Lucas Gets Hurt, #8 Aisha Goes Wild, #9 Zoey Plays Games, #10 Nina Shapes Up, #11 Ben Takes A Chance, #12 Claire Can't Lose, #13 Don't tell Zoey, #14 Aaron Lets Go, #15 Who Loves Kate?, #16 Lara Gets Even, #17 Two Timing Aisha, #19 Kate Finds Love, #20 Never Trust Lara, #21 Trouble With Aaron, #22 Always Loving Zoey, #23 Lara Gets Lucky, #24 Now Zoey's Alone, #26 Zoey's Broken Heart, #27 Falling for Claire, and last, #28 Zoey Comes Home.
Join Bert, Ernie and Cookie Monster on a trip to the grocery store! How will Bert remember to buy the oatmeal he loves to eat every morning for breakfast? For January, the National Oatmeal Month.
When her parents go out for the evening, a little girl threatens to run off to the South Pole but has a good time with the babysitter instead.
Throughout space and time, mother still knows best. (Don't pick up that raygun -- you don't know where it's been!) The moms of the galaxy finally get their due.
Three fiendishly clever middle-school boys wreak havoc and humor but never, ever get caught! Kyle is a little rebellious and always eager to test the rules. Wilson, pudgy wiseguy, is his sidekick. And Dusty is their impulsive, hyper friend -- always the most gung-ho about their pranks, but also the most likely to land them in trouble.
LIP LOCKERS! WILSON: invents stuff - and trouble DUSTY: can talk his way out of anything KYLE: the nice guy no one ever suspects Together they bend every rule in school but they never get caught! There's a rumor that the girls keep a Kissing Book in their locker room. The girls write about guys in it. How they kiss and stuff. Kyle and his friends find out that the girls have trash-talked them in the book. So they decide to steal it...
One of the many unfair rules at the Hard Marks school is No Soda Allowed. Of course this rule does not apply to the teachers. They have a soda machine in their lounge and the sodas are cheap! One day, Kyle, Dusty, and Wilson sneak into the teachers room and get some cold sodas. It's so easy, they can't resist going back for more. Then Kyle and the guys get caught by some kids. Now they have to get those kids sodas, too. Then more kids find out and they want sodas too!
BE-TRAY-ED! WILSON: invents stuff - and trouble DUSTY: can talk his way out of anything KYLE: the nice guy no one ever suspects Together they bend every rule in school-- but they never get caught! Food fights in the cafeteria are raging out of control. So Principal Chump hires some psycho lunch monitors to bust up the trouble. Armed with dishrags, hairnets, and a hidden camera, Kyle and his friends are about to strike back.
Inside find helpful advice, such as: Take a Vacation, Not a Guilt-Trip Don't Get "Should Upon" Hades or Homecoming? Opt In- or Out-of Family Events Quit Being Your Mother Ban Worry from Your Holidays It's Not Daytona--You're Not Jeff Gordon Don't Try to Cook Tailgating Turkeys Don't Get Scrooged is a jewel of a handbook on how to avoid, appease, and even win over the Scrooges who haunt your holidays. Whether it's the salesclerk who ignores you in favor of her cell phone, the customer who knowingly jumps ahead of you in line at Starbucks, the unnaturally irritable boss down the hall, or the in-laws who invite themselves (every year) for a two-week stay at your house, you will always need to deal with Scrooges, grumps, uninvited guests, sticks-in-the-mud, and supreme party poopers. Learning to handle them whenever and wherever they appear is not just optional--it's essential.
All childcare professionals were children once, and how their parents responded to their emotional expressions affects how they respond to emotional expressions by children in their own care."Don't Get So Upset!" examines the uncomfortable emotions providers feel--and the inappropriate ways they may respond--when children exhibit strong feelings, especially anger, fear, and grief. The book challenges teachers to reflect on their own emotional histories and to find strategies for responding to children in ways that support children's emotional health and development. It also examines how gender, culture, and societal roles can impact providers' responses to children's emotional expressions.
Mallory is delighted when the subject of the new Short Takes class turns out to be children's literature, but she is bitterly disappointed by the new young teacher, Mr. Cobb, who unintentionally favors the boys in the class, until Mallory decides to stand up for her rights.
Delivering edge-of-your-seat suspense and breathtaking romance is what New York Times bestselling author Janelle Taylor does best. Now she returns with the story of two strangers thrown together in the face of danger, fighting to uncover the truth about the people they love. . . Don't Say A Word Newly divorced schoolteacher Mia Anderson is looking forward to exploring her identity without her ex-husband's criticism. But a frantic call from her much wilder twin Margot suddenly plunges Mia into her sister's life, which Margot has fled--leaving a dead man in her wake. Before Mia can unravel Margot's disappearance, she's faced with Matthew Gray, the dead man's distraught brother. Asking him for help is a long shot--but it's the only way to carry out a dangerous charade. . . Don't Look Back Deceit is the last thing Matthew wants in his life--it ruined his parents' marriage, and it killed his cheating brother, who was seen flirting with Margot the night he was murdered. But Mia is sure that her sister is only a pawn in this deadly game, and he can't let her investigate on her own--not when she's determined to put her own life on the line. And as they sift through clues, talking long into each night to unravel the mystery, he begins to realize that what matters most is making sure Mia isn't the next victim. . .
When their playful dog comes home with a dead rabbit, Philip and Kooch are afraid it is their gruff old neighbor's prize pet.
Having been warned to stay away from the high waters of the local creek, the boys' imaginations run as swiftly as the stream. Before they know it, they have scared themselves silly with stories like The Children with Green Teeth, from Britain; The Deadly Beach, from Hawaii; and The Waterman, from Central Europe.
Begown's mission is to educate women on the facts that the $45 billion cosmetics industry doesn't want people to know. In her makeup and skincare bible, she deciphers ingredient lists, translates cosmetics-counter beauty babble, and evaluates the worth of virtually every product on the market. This completely revised and expanded edition includes more than 75 new product lines.
CHRIS, COSBY, AND their dog Foster are going trick-or-treating. But the big kids tell them not to go up to the house on Haunted Hill. "It's haunted!" they say. But when Foster chases a cat up that very hill, Chris and Cosby are forced to follow! What will they find in the spooky old house on Haunted Hill?
Everything's bigger in Texas-including romance, magic, and danger! Katie Chandler has fled fast-paced Manhattan and returned home to a simpler life, working at her family's feed-and-seed store in Cobb, Texas. In a painfully selfless gesture, Katie had left the sexy wizard Owen Palmer to battle his demons in the magical realm-after all, Katie just seemed to attract evil, which only made Owen's job a lot harder. But now it seems that trouble has followed her home: Despite the fact that Merlin, Katie's old boss at Magic, Spells, and Illusions, Inc. , has assured her that Cobb is free of enchantmen, (magically speaking), Katie begins to notice curious phenomena. Cobb is being plagued by a series of inexplicable petty crimes and other devilish mischief, and after her experiences in Manhattan, Katie knows "unauthorized magic" when she sees it. As this new darkness strikes deep in the heart of Texas, Owen appears (literally) to investigate. Now Katie's friends and family must show the bad guys why it's bad luck to hex with Texas, while Katie and Owen combine their strengths like never before to uncover a sinister plot before evil takes root in the Lone Star State. "Enchanting . . . Trying to start a romance with the world hanging in the balance is not optimal, but it sure is funny. " -Romantic Times, on Shanna Swendson's Damsel Under Stress "Winning . . . [a] smart, snappy novel. " -Booklist, on Shanna Swendson's Once Upon Stilettos From the Trade Paperback edition.
Don't Hurry Me Down to Hades is the story of families enduring the whirlwind of the Civil War, told through the words of famous and ordinary citizens and ranging from the battlefield to the home front, from presidential councils to frontier revivals. The book reveals how Americans on both sides of the Mason and Dixon line withstood four years of brutal, unrelenting conflict. Of the hundreds of thousands of books published on the American Civil War, this is one of the few to approach the nation's defining conflict from this powerful perspective. Grounded in rare family letters and diaries, Don't Hurry Me Down to Hades captures Americans' wide-ranging reactions to the war and their astonishing perseverance. Some of the accounts are entirely unknown to readers, while better-known events are told from unusual perspectives. Abraham Lincoln's assassination, for example, is shared from the viewpoint of Major Henry Rathbone and his fiancée (and stepsister) Clara Harris, while Lewis Powell's attempt on Secretary of State William Seward's life is seen through the terrified eyes Fanny Seward, who was seated next to her father when Powell burst into the room. Madison and Lizzie Bowler help readers understand how the war brought a Minnesota couple together in marriage and then nearly drove them apart when Madison insisted that his first duty was to his nation while Lizzie believed it was to her and their newborn daughter. A thousand miles to the south, two Texas families also suffered through their soldiers' absence and tried to explain to their young children why father had "gone to war" with "Santaclause." And to the north in Kentucky, a runaway slave won freedom for himself and his family by joining the Union Army only to face prejudice as brutal and destructive as the life he'd left behind. Readers are carried alongside these families, sharing their dreams that the fighting might end this year and suffering with them when the Reaper comes calling. Through these and other stories, Don't Hurry Me Down to Hades invites readers to set aside previous assumptions to learn about the divisions and range of opinions on both sides from ordinary and famous men and women, black and white, slave and free. Esteemed Civil War historian Susannah J. Ural brings fresh insight into the war by delving into historical archives and private family papers to peal back the passage of time. Her consummate narrative weaves together a textured, powerful portrait of a nation at war with itself.
Do you believe in the freedom of individuals to determine their own future and solve problems cooperatively?Don't hurt people, and don't take their stuff. Simple and straightforward, that's liberty in a nutshell--no assembly required.And yet it seems like, more and more, the decisions Washington makes about what to do for us, or to us, or even against us, are having an increasingly adverse impact on our lives. Young people can't find jobs, millions of Americans are losing the health care plans they were promised they could keep, and every one of us is somehow being targeted, monitored, snooped on, conscripted, induced, taxed, subsidized, regulated, or otherwise manipulated by someone else's agenda, based on someone else's decisions made in some secret meeting or closed-door legislative deal.What gives?Our government is out of control. But setting things right again requires that you step up and take your freedom back.From Matt Kibbe, the influential leader of FreedomWorks, Don't Hurt People and Don't Take Their Stuff is the first true manifesto of a new libertarian grassroots movement. As political powermongers and crony corporatists in Washington continue to consolidate their control and infringe on our most fundamental liberties, Kibbe makes the libertarian case for freer people, more voluntary cooperation, and solving problems from the bottom up. He calls out the tyranny of faceless bureaucrats with too much power and discretion, laying out a clear road map for restoring liberty. A witty yet piercing critique of government's expanding control over you and your future, Don't Hurt People and Don't Take Their Stuff is a vital read for all those who cherish personal liberty and the unalienable right to choose your own path in life.
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