- Table View
- List View
He's a comedian. He's a YouTube sensation. And now he becomes an author. Best known for his song parodies and riffs on yoga pants and homeschooling, Tim Hawkins now shares his perspective on life in the 21st century in his long-awaited debut book. Tim's topics are as wide-ranging as his stand-up comedy including marital communications ("Marriage needs a challenge flag, like in pro football"), worship music ("Pick the right key, because I'm not Barry White and I'm not a Bee Gee"), and food ("Eating a Krispy Kreme donut is like eating a baby angel"). Diary of a Jackwagon reveals a witty and relatable voice reminding readers that for life's many difficulties, laughter is always the best medicine - when there aren't any pills left.
Tuffy the pet cat tries to defend himself against accusations of terrifying other animals and murdering the neighbor's rabbit.
Once I was a sane, levelheaded professional woman. Then I said "yes." Now I am the lunatic bride I always made fun of!What is it about getting married that turns normal people into total freaks?A savvy, riotously funny novel, Diary of a Mad Bride is for anyone who has ever been a bride, is about to become a bride, yearned to be a bride, or suffered the sheer indignity of appearing in public in the world's ugliest bridesmaid dress....My wedding was starting in less than twenty minutes, and I was stuck in a 7-Eleven parking lot with popcorn kernels wedged in my gums and vanilla ice cream melting on my dress. It was a disaster too large to comprehend. After an agonizing year spent planning my wedding, could it really end like this? The voices chronicling a year of wedding hysteria swirled in my head....-- My grandmother upon viewing my engagement ring:"What do you mean he gave you an emerald! Diamonds are eternal, emeralds say, maybe five years."-- My future father-in-law on the night of my engagement party:"To a happy marriage and, if necessary, a painless divorce!"-- My best friend, Anita:"Oh, screw congratulations. Of course I'm happy for you. Stephen's a major piece of ass and he's got a sense of humor. Just as long as you're certain this is what you want." Would I survive this day after all....?
Following up the phenomenal success of her headline-making New York Times bestseller I Hate Everyone...Starting With Me, the unstoppable Joan Rivers is at it again. When her daughter Melissa gives her a diary for Christmas, at first Joan is horrified--who the hell does Melissa think she is? That fat pig, Bridget Jones? But as Joan, being both beautiful and introspective, begins to record her day-to-day musings, she realizes she has a lot to say.About everything. And everyone, God help them. The result? A no-holds-barred, delightfully vicious and always hilarious look at the everyday life of the ultimate diva. Follow Joan on a family vacation in Mexico and on trips between New York and Los Angeles where she mingles with the stars, never missing a beat as she delivers blistering critiques on current events, and excoriating insights about life, pop culture, and celebrities (from A to D list), all in her relentlessly funny signature style.This is the Diary of a Mad Diva. Forget about Anais Nin, Anne Frank, and that whiner Sylvia Plath. For the first time in a century, a diary by someone that's actually worth reading.
Diary of a Mad Housewife is a classic of women's fiction that gave a wry voice to the nascent feminist stirrings of the 1960s and helped incite a revolution in the consciousness of a generation.<P><P> When Bettina Balser begins to suspect that she is going mad, she starts a secret diary as a form of therapy and as an escape from the boredom and dissatisfaction she experiences as a 1960s housewife. Her fears pour onto the page: "Elevators, subways, bridges, tunnels, high places, low places, tightly enclosed spaces, boats, cars, planes, trains, crowds...." Through her observations of herself and those around her, Bettina seeks to find meaning in her exceedingly dreary life. Her frank examinations lead to many changes, including an extramarital fling, and her voice touches a timeless nerve, resonating on many levels--from the ever-evolving feminist consciousness to the gnawing existential search that is universal.<P> Diary of a Mad Housewife's humor and insight is as alive and pertinent today as yesterday, and will charm and disarm men and women of any generation.
From Geto Boys legend and renowned storyteller Scarface comes a passionate memoir about how hip-hop changed the life of a kid from the south side of Houston, and how he rose to the top--and ushered in a new generation of rap dominanceScarface is the celebrated rapper whose hits include "On My Block," "Mind Playing Tricks on Me," and "Damn It Feels Good to Be a Gangsta" (made famous in the cult film Office Space). The former president of Def Jam South, he's collaborated with everyone from Kanye West to Ice Cube to Nas, and had many solo hits such as "Guess Who's Back," featuring Jay Z, and "Smile," featuring Tupac. But before that, he was a kid from Houston in love with rock and roll, listening to AC/DC and KISS.In Diary of a Madman Scarface shares how his world changed when he heard Run-D.M.C. for the first time, how he dropped out of school in the ninth grade and started selling crack, and how he began rapping as the new form of music made its way out of New York and across the country. It is the account of his rise to the heights of the rap world, as well as his battles with his own demons and depression.Passionately exploring and explaining the roots and influences of southern rap culture, Diary of a Madman is the story of hip-hop--the music, the business, the streets--and life on the south side of Houston, Texas.
Opening a door to a bizarre world of broad comedy, fantasy, and social commentary, the title story offers an unforgettable depiction of a lunatic civil servant and his struggles to be noticed by the woman he loves. This excellent introduction to Gogol also features "Nevski Prospect" and "The Portrait."
Hailed by Nabokov as "the greatest artist that Russia has yet produced," Nikolai Gogol (1809-1852) left his mark as a playwright, novelist, and writer of short stories. Gogol's works remain popular with both writers and readers, who prize his originality, imaginative gifts, and sheer exuberance.This collection offers an excellent introduction to the author's works. Opening a door to his bizarre world of broad comedy, fantasy, and social commentary, the title story portrays a petty official's mental disintegration as he struggles for the attention of the woman he loves. Set during the repressive rule of Nicholas I, it satirizes the bureaucratic excesses of the era. Additional tales include "The Nevski Prospect," a portrayal of the feverish pace of St. Petersburg street life, and "The Portrait," a gripping depiction of a soul's perdition.
Friedrich Reck might seem an unlikely rebel against Nazism. Not just a conservative but a rock-ribbed reactionary, he played the part of a landed gentleman, deplored democracy, and rejected the modern world outright. To Reck the Nazis were ruthless revolutionaries in Gothic drag, and helpless as he was to counter the spell they had cast on the German people, he felt compelled to record the corruptions of their rule. The result is less a diary than a sequence of stark and astonishing snapshots of life in Germany between 1936 and 1944. We see the Nazis at the peak of power, and the murderous panic with which they respond to approaching defeat; their travesty of traditional folkways in the name of the Volk; and the author's own missed opportunity to shoot Hitler. This riveting book is not only, as Hannah Arendt proclaimed it, "one of the most important documents of the Hitler period" but a moving testament of a decent man struggling to do the right thing in a depraved world.stonishing snapshots of life in Germany between 1936 and 1944. We see the Nazis at the peak of power, and we see the murderous panic with which they respond to approaching defeat. Reck describes the travesty of traditional folkways that the Nazis engage in the name of the Volk, ruminates on the character of Hitler and regrets a missed opportunity he had to shoot him, describes the bombing of Munich, joins the resistance, and waits for arrest knowing he has been betrayed. This riveting book is not only, as Hannah Arendt proclaimed it, "one of the most important documents of the Hitler period" but a moving testament of a decent if sometimes deluded man struggling to do the right thing in a depraved world.
Providing original insights into Chinese military history, Nicola Di Cosmo gives an annotated translation of the only known military diary in pre-modern Chinese history, providing fresh and extensive information on the inner workings of the Ch'ing army. The personal experience of the author, a young Manchu officer fighting in inhospitable South-Western China, take us close to the 'face of the battle' in seventeenth-century China, and enriches our general knowledge of military history.
A fun, witty, sexy, page-turning novel written by a real-life, high-priced Manhattan call girl. This is the diary of Nancy Chan, busy career girl, in her thirties, newly engaged and trying to balance job and romance. But Nancy is a high-class call girl, a fact her banker fiance, Matt does not know (he thinks sheâ s a copy editor) and Nancy wants to keep it that way. With one foot in the bedrooms of her rich and demanding clients and one in the world of her fiancÃ© and his family, Nancy demonstrates, in her inimitable fashion, that if you know the dance, you can keep those two worlds from colliding. At least for a while. This wonderfully intelligent, sexually frank, rollicking novel gives us fresh insight into the machinations and politics of being an expensive call girl in the modern world. Quan pulls no punches, gives no apologies, and has written one of the best and most honest books yet on the topic.
In this irreverent take on infidelity and modern marriage, newlywed topflight prostitute Nancy Chan finds herself struggling to adjust to the realities of domestic bliss. She's honing her respectable image as the wife of investment banker Matt, cooking fashionable meals and taking his shirts to the cleaners. But now that she and Matt share a home, it's getting harder to keep her career as an exclusive call girl a secret. Nancy fears what might happen if Matt finds out, but she can't quite bring herself to give up her financial independence. And now Matt wants to start a family. Motherhood could jeopardize her business--and what will it do to her body? Will Nancy have to give up her career to save her marriage? If you've ever had a naughty secret or struggled with competing desires, this funny, insightful romp will strike a chord. From the Trade Paperback edition.
Bradley Fentriss lives with his dad. He loves his dad. He admires his dad. Bradley's dad, however, is not like the other dads in the neighborhood. He is very large. He is very hairy. He has sharp, pointy teeth. When he gets excited, his chest swells up so much that his shirt buttons pop open. But he is a good father. Whether fixing a hole in the ceiling,, attending Parent-Teacher Night, or planning an extremely unseasonal picnic, Mr. Fentriss is a truly devoted dad. And then some. Here's a story about the everyday life of a not-quite-everyday family. Dad puts a scare in strangers, but not for long. Not after they hear him say fatherly things like "It's important to know your limits," and "A healthy breakfast is the start of a healthy day." And "Watch out for other sledders! No crashing!" They have monstrously good fun-- and so will you.
Meet Katie Sutton. She may just look like your average thirteen-year-old girl but in reality, she's the world's leading expert in Grown Up behavior. And you're in luck because in your hands you hold a one-of-a-kind guide to training your parent and becoming highly skilled at: understanding their insane behavior, predicting their next moves, and operating them to your best advantage. So please keep this book out of the way of your grown up, we don't want them going into "grumpy mode" too soon.From the Hardcover edition.
This book is the very personal story of how Brad Paisley came of age as a musician and a man. Focusing on what it means to play the guitar and how he found his voice through a series of guitars, the book will also share what he has learned about life along the way. Beginning with his own very personal love letter to the guitar and what the instrument has meant in his life as a way to find his voice in the world, the book then moves into a musical, but personal, diary. Brad tells the story of his own musical passion, while writing loving salutes and sharing memorable tales about all the great players in country, blues, and rock & roll who have inspired him over the years.As he wrote in liner notes of his instrumental guitar album, Play, his first guitar was a gift from his grandpa when Brad was only eight. Brad quickly learned that no matter how he changed and evolved, the guitar was his only real constant. When life gets intense, he says, "there are some people who drink, who seek counseling, eat, or watch TV, cry, sleep, and so on. I play." Included in the book will be sidebars from a wide array of musical stars who know and love Brad. In these sidebars, this host of guitar and musical gods will share their take on Brad or stories of their favorite memories about him.
Trading is generally far more difficult in practice than in theory. The reality is that no trade set up or individual trader or system can identify profitable trades in advance with complete certainty. In A Year of Trading, long-time trader Peter Brandt reveals the anxieties and uncertainties of trading in a diary of his 2009 trades. He explains his thought process as he searches for trading opportunities and executes them. Each trade includes charts, an analysis of the trade, and a play-by-play account of how the trade unfolds.
The Diary of a Provincial Lady is a witty celebration of the suburban British housewife. The Provincial Lady has a nice house, a nice husband, and nice children. She never raises her voice, rarely ventures outside Devon, only occasionally allows herself to become vexed by the ongoing servant problem, and would be truly appalled by the confessional mode that has gripped the late 20th century. The Provincial Lady, after all, is part of what made Britain great.
The story begins with the unhappy marriage of junior clerk Earl Summerfield to the much older Bianca. Feeling victimized by his cold wife and mocking superiors at work, Earl decides to keep a diary, a chronicle of his apparently crumbling marital relations, the paranoia and abuses he is seemingly forced to tolerate at work, and the world around him going to pieces in 1960's San Francisco. What he sees, what he says, what he wants to say - everything swarms his head and consciousness, inciting and fueling fantasies of love, ambition, and avenging the violent crimes with which he was become obsessed. His angry and unstable mind alternates between feelings of apprehension and disgust, and exploring his own violent, sexual fantasies, and Earl takes action first by breaking into other peoples' houses and then fixating on various women, before settling with utmost and troubling certainty on the local beauty queen, Mara St. John's.This unnerving work is a contemplation of the middle-class existence in a changing world, narrated by an unstable man held hostage by his deteriorating mental state.
For defense attorneys Zack Wilson and Terry Tallach, time is precious. Not just because they're paid by the hour. Or because their careers have taken off after a succession of high-profile cases. Or because a baffling, shocking serial murder case is threatening to tear Zack's family apart. For these two lawyers, time is precious because they have just walked into the wrong courtroom at the wrong time, where a man is shooting a gun into a crowd that includes Zack's innocent young son.
South Beach in the late 1990s is a town of blink-and-you'll-miss-'em nightclubs populated by celebrities, models, mobsters, heiresses, drug dealers, drag queens, and fun seekers of all stripes. It's a place where the famous come to party like locals, the locals party like rock stars behind velvet ropes, and the press is savvy enough to know what not to report. Rachel Baum is a sheltered, career-oriented everygirl when she moves to South Beach from her quiet Miami suburb, searching for a life less ordinary. Quickly making friends among SoBe's most exclusive scenesters, she spends her days building a career and her nights building a reputation. But in a town where friends become enemies faster than highs become hangovers, the life less ordinary turns into more than Rachel bargained for. As she pursues the endless party in penthouses, dive bars, after-hours clubs, and cocaine speakeasies, Rachel struggles to balance her goals and ambitions with the decadence and excess -- especially her drug-fueled, on-again off-again relationship with Yale-graduate-turned-addict John Hood -- that threaten to destroy everything she's always worked for. With tremendous wit and razor-sharp insight, Diary of a South Beach Party Girl portrays the innermost sanctums of South Beach's privileged Beautiful People through the eyes of a no longer innocent heroine.
From the book: This is the diary ... of a spider. But don't be worried--he's more scared of you and your gigantic shoe! Actually, he's a lot like you. He goes to gym class and has grandparens Day at school. But he also spins sticky webs, scales walls, and takes wind-catching lessons. Lucky for him, his best friend is a fly. Includes picture descriptions. Other clever books by Doreen Cronin are available from Bookshare. This book contains picture descriptions.
The Glass Castle meets The Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother in this dazzlingly honest and provocative family memoir by former child actress and current Fox Business Network anchor Melissa Francis. When Melissa Francis was eight years old, she won the role of lifetime: playing Cassandra Cooper Ingalls, the little girl who was adopted with her brother (played by young Jason Bateman) by the Ingalls family on the world's most famous primetime soap opera, Little House on the Prairie. Despite her age, she was already a veteran actress, living a charmed life, moving from one Hollywood set to the next. But behind the scenes, her success was fueled by the pride, pressure, and sometimes grinding cruelty of her stage mother, as fame and a mother's ambition pushed her older sister deeper into the shadows. Diary of a Stage Mother's Daughter is a fascinating account of life as a child star in the 1980's, and also a startling tale of a family under the care of a highly neurotic, dangerously competitive "tiger mother. " But perhaps most importantly, now that Melissa has two sons of her own, it's a meditation on motherhood, and the value of pushing your children: how hard should you push a child to succeed, and at what point does your help turn into harm?
Electa Rome Parks paints a powerful portrait of a crazed fan who can't seem to close the book on the affair after a one-night-stand with a famous author--and who will stop at nothing to make him hers. Even if that means killing him. . . Bestselling author Xavier Preston is used to women throwing themselves at him. On top of being a successful writer, he's also tall, dark and sexy as sin. He's always relished the attention, in fact, and is ever-willing to entertain the erotic urges of women wanting to get between more than the covers of his novels. Except once he meets Kendall, he decides it's time to put his womanizing ways behind him and devote himself to her entirely. Well, almost. . . Gorgeous Pilar is the last decadent treat Xavier decides he'll help himself to--thinking they are both on the same "no strings" page. Except behind Pilar's fine façade beats the heart of a raving maniac--a fatally attracted fan addicted to the kind of hot loving only Xavier can give her. And she's not about to let him get away from her so easily. So what starts out as a discreet dalliance soon spirals into a deadly game of obsession and pain--which can only have one winner. . .