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The Nonrunner's Marathon Guide for Women

by Dawn Dais

Dawn Dais hated running. And it didn't like her much, either. Her fitness routine consisted of avoiding the stairs in her own house, because who really has the energy to climb stairs? It was with this exercise philosophy firmly in place that she set off to complete a marathon.The Nonrunner's Marathon Guide for Women is a fun training manual for women who don't believe that running is their biological destiny but who dream of crossing the finish line nonetheless. Revised in 2013, it now includes a new chapter on using technology as a training aid.Dais's book features a realistic training schedule and is chock-full of how-to's, quizzes, and funny observations, which she felt were lacking in the guides she had consulted. She also integrates entries from her journal, sharing everything would-be marathoners need to know about the gear, the blisters, the early morning workouts, the late-night carb binges, and-most important of all-the amazing rewards.Anyone can do a marathon. This book just makes the experience a little more bearable and a lot more fun.

The Sh!t No One Tells You: A 52-week Guide to Surviving Your Baby's First Year

by Dawn Dais

There comes a time in every new mother's life when she finds herself staring at her screaming, smelly "bundle of joy" and wishing someone had told her that her house would reek of vomit, or that she shouldn't buy the cute onesies with a thousand impossible buttons, or that she might cry more than the baby. Best-selling humor author Dawn Dais, mother to a one-year-old and author of 'The Nonrunner's Marathon Guide for Women', is convinced that there is a reason for this lack of preparedness. She believes that a vast conspiracy exists to hide the horrific truth about parenting from doe-eyed expectant mothers who might otherwise abandon their babies in hospitals and run for it. In 'Sh!t No One Tells You', Dais tells it like it is, revealing what it's really like to be a new parent and providing helpful insights, humor, and hope for those who feel overwhelmed by the exhausting trials they're suddenly facing. Eschewing the adorableness that oozes out of other parenting books, Dais offers real advice from real moms-along with hilarious anecdotes, clever tips, and the genuine encouragement every mom needs in order to survive the first year of parenthood.

The Sh!t No One Tells You About Toddlers

by Dawn Dais

They're getting bigger. And you're not getting any more sleep.Second in the Sh!t No One Tells You series, in The Sh!t No One Tells You About Toddlers Dawn Dais tells it like it is - again - offering real advice for parents of growing children. Filled with tips, encouragement, and a strong dose of humor, The Sh!t No One Tells You About Toddlers is a survival handbook for parents on the edge.Chapters include:You Suck at This. It's not just your imagination.Walking Is Hard. Bruising is considerably less difficult.Remember When You Judged Other Parents? Prepare to eat your words, with a side of karma's a bitch.Restaurants Are Battle Zones. Spoiler Alert: You are not the victor.Kids Get Sick. Then everyone gets sick.This Childhood Will Be Televised. Hello, camera phones.Your TV Has Been Hijacked. By things with very high-pitched voices.Coming from one empathetic parent to another, the tips in this book are real, clever, honest, and designed to make life with a terrible two- or three-year-old a little bit more manageable. Hilarious, helpful, and handy, this book will be appreciated by any parent who has asked: "Why didn't anybody warn me that unconditional love would be so much work?"

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