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Love Between Equals

by Pepper Schwartz

Sociologist explains how peer marriage works.

The Normal Bar: The Surprising Secrets of Happy Couples and What They Reveal About Creating a New Normal in Your Relationship

by Pepper Schwartz Chrisanna Northrup James Witte

Based on data obtained from nearly 100,000 respondents, here is the ultimate resource for anyone who wants to learn the relationship-tested ways couples can achieve satisfaction and contentment in areas such as communication, sex, affection, and financial cooperation.What constitutes "normal" behavior among happy couples? What steps you should take if that "normal" is one you want to strive for? To help answer those questions, wellness entrepreneur Chrisanna Northrup teamed with two of America's top sociologists, Yale Ph.D. Pepper Schwartz and Harvard Ph.D. James Witte, to design a unique interactive survey that would draw feedback from around the world. What has resulted is the clearest picture yet of how well couples are communicating, romancing each other, satisfying each other in the bedroom, sharing financial responsibilities, and staying faithful - or not. Since the Normal Bar survey methodology sorts for age and gender, racial and geographic differences and sexual preferences, the authors are able to reveal , for example, what happens to passion as we grow older, which gender wants what when it comes to sex, the factors that spur marital combat, how kids figure in, how being gay or bisexual turns out to be both different and the same, and -regardless of background -- the tiny habits that drive partners absolutely batty.The book is dense with revelations, from the unexpected popularity of certain sexual positions, to the average number of times happy - and unhappy -- couples kiss, to the prevalence of lying, to the surprising loyalty most men and women feel for their partner (even when in a deteriorating relationship), to the vivid and idiosyncratic ways individuals of different ages, genders and nationalities describe their "ideal romantic evening."Much more than a peek behind the relationship curtain, The Normal Bar offers readers an array of prescriptive tools that will help them establish a "new normal." Mindful of what keeps couples stuck in ruts, the book's authors suggest practical and life-changing ways to break cycles of disappointment and frustration.

Prime

by Pepper Schwartz

"Sex can be just gorgeous-and sometimes it is the most beautiful thing that can happen between a man and a woman. But don't you also think that it can be just practical? Like when you're hungry and don't want a three-course meal with wine, music, and ambience; you just want a sandwich. You don't love the sandwich. You don't hate the sandwich. You just want to eat the sandwich and feel satisfied." Dr. Pepper Schwartz has always encouraged women to embrace their sexual appetites. After three decades of answering people's questions about their emotional, sexual, and romantic lives; after writing several books on sex and relationships; after thirty-five years as a sociology professor at the University of Washington, she has formed firm opinions about sex and relationships. However, when her own situation changes, when she becomes a single woman after twenty-three years of marriage, she has to reevaluate and discover how sex and dating can work for her at this unique time in her life. Masters and Johnson, the famous sex researchers concluded that you can have sex, and want sex, way into old age, if you never stop doing it. And Pepper is very sure that she never wants to stop doing it. Now, she must make the effort to put herself in the running-getting in shape physically, emotionally, and spiritually-and figure out ways to meet worthy and available men. Ideally, she would like to have a serious relationship, but if that isn't in the cards, she still wants sex and companionship. And while she may feel as sexually alive as she did when she was twenty-five, the number and availability of men has changed. So, how do you look for a life partner after fifty and enjoy sexual adventures along the way? Prime is Dr. Pepper's response to this question. It's her story of exploration-sex, adventure, and romance-spread out like a road map for women of every age, because even as she is telling her own tale, she doesn't forget to exercise her talent for advice. Whether you're looking to wake up a tired sex life, start a new relationship, explore cyber-dating, indulge in a four-hand massage, flirt with gigolos on vacation, or commit to the love of your life, you can find tempting tips and genuinely helpful guidance. The prime of life has lengthened and as Dr. Pepper's experiences show, it would be wrong not to live every moment to the fullest. Calling for a brave and creative reevaluation of what is possible in the second half of women's lives, Prime invites every woman to relish her sexuality, take risks, and go after what she really wants-whether it's a sandwich or something substantially more satisfying. . . .

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