Bringing Metal to the Children

By: and

Synopsis
So you've watched the movies This Is Spinal Tap and Monty Python and the Holy Grail a hundred times each, and now you desire another brilliant opus to tickle your cranial sponge in a similar fashion. Well, look no further, fellow Berzerkers! Golden god Zakk Wylde and his brother-in-Metal Eric Hendrikx are about to take you on a Black Label Crusade of World Tour Domination, sharing never-before-told stories of backstage lunacy and Metal-maniacal anecdotes for the aspiring Berzerker like you. Why would you need to buy this book about a modern-day Viking who strums his own fiddle for a living? You'd better ask yourself one simple question: Would you rather have us come beat the money out of you, or do you want to give it up the easy and painless way? As a twenty-five-year veteran of the Ozzy Osbourne band and Black Label Society, Zakk Wylde has managed not only to stay alive against all odds but has also survived numerous attacks on his life by members of his own band, his wife, his children, his manager, and even his dogs. Among deranged tales of onstage indecent exposure and booze-fueled destruction, Wylde continues your Metal awakening with the sacred founding myths--explaining, for instance, how the forging of Metal in Valhalla begot the Black Label Empire--and lays out the battle-tested Rules of the Road. For the young Metal Loki, Wylde offers exclusive tips on how not to make it in the business, insights about planning your band's tour and outfitting the Black Vatican recording studio, plus more useful advice on how to set up a shooting range on a tour bus and how to survive a mosh pit. Bringing Metal to the Children will make you laugh, weep, vomit--maybe even soil yourself--and if you aspire to new heights of Metal mayhem, get on the bus and get ready for the Metal ride of your life.
Copyright:
2012

Book Details

Book Quality:
Publisher Quality
ISBN-13:
9780062079350
Related ISBNs:
9780062002747
Publisher:
HarperCollins
Date of Addition:
Copyrighted By:
Eric Hendrikx, Zakk Wylde
Adult content:
No
Language:
English
Has Image Descriptions:
No
Categories:
Nonfiction, Biographies and Memoirs, Music
Submitted By:
Bookshare Staff
Usage Restrictions:
This is a copyrighted book.

Reviews

1 out of 5

By on

Okay. I realize that celebrity autobiographies are usually not exactly Pulitzer material. Fine by me. But with Bringing Metal To The Children, we may have reached a new low. Zakk Wylde is all too willing to make a buffoon of himself, and the worst part is that he's not nearly as funny as he thinks he is. Even then, most of the laughs are "at" him, rather than "with" him. Every third word is an expletive of some kind, there's tons of dumb locker-room jokes, the way Zakk talks about his wife comes off as crude and classless rather than humorous ... and then there's the story of him not showering for seventy-seven days while on tour, which he relates as if we're all supposed to think he's just unspeakably clever. Which he isn't. Everybody is Saint this or Father that, or has stupid little code names, plus a bunch of moronic Viking fantasy BS, and painstaking explanations of all the pretend biker-gang philosophy of Black Label Society. Zakk does his best foul-mouthed Tony Robbins, telling us all to GIFD, no excuses. "A lion is a lion, and doesn't need to be told or reminded what it is or what is expected of it." Pretty big talk froma guy who plays heavy metal music for a living, and for whom drinking himself into a stupor on a regular basis and neglecting basic personal hygiene is an admittedly big part of his life (okay, so he quit drinking, and the mythology surrounding that is a whole other topic). Honestly, this book is torture to get through, and that's coming from somebody who enjoys much of Zakk music.