The Feather Merchants: A Novel

By: Max Shulman

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Synopsis: The raucous and randy adventures of a stateside soldier during World War II Sergeant Dan Miller wanted to be a flying ace, but the air force grounded him for poor vision. To make matters worse, when the myopic Miller travels home to Minneapolis on furlough, he finds the local &“feather merchants&”—aka civilians—breaking all the wartime rules. They&’re guzzling black-market gas, hoarding rationed food, and listening to suspiciously expensive radios. But the most troubling news of all arrives when Sergeant Dan&’s main squeeze, the voluptuous Estherlee McCracken, declares that she wants nothing to do with a pencil-pushing GI. The night after he gets dumped, Sergeant Dan seeks solace in watered-down whiskeys and a chorus line of ladies dancing in red, white, and blue G-strings. A friend introduces the sad-sack noncom as Robert Jordan, dynamiter of bridges, and before Sergeant Dan can stop that bell from tolling, he&’s the most celebrated man in town. What follows is a hysterical comedy of errors as our hero tries to outrun his patriotic admirers, win back Estherlee&’s love, and avoid a court martial.