I Was a Teenage Dwarf: Stories

By: Max Shulman

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Synopsis: This hysterical follow-up to The Many Loves of Dobie Gillis details the lifelong pursuits of the pint-sized Don Juan Each chapter—straight from the diaries of Dobie Gillis—is a true experience from our hero&’s life between the ages of thirteen to thirty. All the experiences are about girls, because that&’s what Dobie&’s life is about: girls. In &“Girls: Their Cause and Cure,&” Dobie is a sixth-grader with the serious issue of being shorter than every girl in his class. A petite cellist with leaky tear ducts is his best bet until a beautiful rock-and-roll chick arrives at school. Dobie falls hard for the new girl, not realizing that she&’s due for a growth spurt. Two years later, Dobie has more important concerns. In &“Puberty Is Here to Stay,&” his girlfriend, Tuckie Webb, goes away to summer camp and comes back more stunning than ever. Too bad she has hulking seventeen-year-old Murder McIntyre attached to her arm. Fifteen years later, Dobie weds his college sweetheart, Chloe. Marriage, it turns out, is the cure for Dobie&’s obsession with girls, but money worries now plague our hero&’s mind. When baby Pete arrives and Chloe spends all their cash on vitamins, nursery school, fencing lessons, and fancy dogs, Dobie fears he&’ll never have the nest egg he desires. Then he realizes that he already has the two things a man really needs: a beautiful, loving wife and a happy child.