The Funniest Things Ever Said, New and Expanded (1001)

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Synopsis: Here are1,237 laugh-out-loud quotes, quips, and jokes, all in one packed-to-the-brim volume. Yes, folks, sit back and enjoy this collection of inadvertent gaffes, thigh-slappers, puns, and everything and anything else that'll tickle your funny bone. There&’s something old, something new, something stolen, and something blue—from favorite comedians, sports and political figures, and literary wits. There are even giggles for the kids and groaners for the grown-ups. Just a few among the 1,237 funniest things ever said:&“I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They&’ve experienced pain and bought jewelry.&”—Rita Rudner&“I don&’t know if it&’s good for baseball, but it sure beats the hell out of rooming with Phil Rizzuto.&”—Yogi Berra on being told that Joe DiMaggio was to marry Marilyn Monroe&“I made my money the old-fashioned way. I was very nice to a wealthy relative right before he died.&”—Malcolm Forbes&“The Dalai Lama visited the White House and told the President that he could teach him to find a higher state of consciousness. Then, after talking to Bush for a few minutes, he said, &‘You know what? Let&’s just grab lunch.&’&”—Bill Maher

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