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Daughters of the Dreaming

by Diane Bell

Award-winning author Diane Bell reveals the importance of womens' roles in Australian Aboriginal desert culture-as maintainers of land, ritual, and culture.

Daughters of the Earth

by Carolyn Niethammer

She was both guardian of the hearth and, on occasion, ruler and warrior, leading men into battle, managing the affairs of her people, sporting war paint as well as necklaces and earrings. She built houses and ground corn, wove blankets and painted pottery, played field hockey and rode racehorses. Frequently she enjoyed an open and joyous sexuality before marriage; if her marriage didn't work out she could divorce her husband by the mere act of returning to her parents. She mourned her dead by tearing her clothes and covering herself with ashes, and when she herself died was often shrouded in her wedding dress. She was our native sister, the American Indian woman, and it is of her life and lore that Carolyn Niethammer writes in this rich tapestry of America's past and present. Here, as it unfolded, is the chronology of the native American woman's life. Here are the birth rites of Caddo women from the Mississippi-Arkansas border, who bore their children alone by the banks of rivers and then immersed themselves and their babies in river water; here are Apache puberty ceremonies that are still carried on today, when the cost for the celebrations can run anywhere from one to six thousand dollars. Here are songs from the Night Dances of the Sioux, where girls clustered on one side of the lodge and boys congregated on the other; here is the Shawnee legend of the Corn Person and of Our Grandmother, the two female deities who ruled the earth. Far from the submissive, downtrodden "squaw" of popular myth, the native American woman emerges as a proud, sometimes stoic, always human individual from whom those who came after can learn much. At a time when many contemporary American women are seeking alternatives to a life-style and role they have outgrown, Daughters of the Earth offers us an absorbing -- and illuminating -- legacy of dignity and purpose.

Daughters of the Moon, Sisters of the Sun: Young Women and Mentors on the Transition to Womanhood

by Linda Wolf K. Wind Hughes

MAKING THE TRANSITION TO WOMANHOOD is a time of confusion, challenge, discovery, passion and courage. Young women often face this journey alone, risking their sense of self and purpose along the way. In Daughters of the Moon, Sisters of the Sun, women and girls will recognize themselves and each other through remarkably candid and compelling stories gathered from 21 teenage girls who participated in a weekly two-year long focus group, and the mentors with whom they talked. A unique source of truth, support and vision, this book will be welcomed by both young and old-and women and men-alike.

Daughters of the Nile

by Stephanie Dray

Based on the true story of Cleopatra's daughter... After years of abuse as the emperor's captive in Rome, Cleopatra Selene has found a safe harbor. No longer the pitiful orphaned daughter of the despised Egyptian Whore, the twenty year old is now the most powerful queen in the empire, ruling over the kingdom of Mauretania--an exotic land of enchanting possibility where she intends to revive her dynasty. With her husband, King Juba II and the magic of Isis that is her birthright, Selene brings prosperity and peace to a kingdom thirsty for both. But when Augustus Caesar jealously demands that Selene's children be given over to him to be fostered in Rome, she's drawn back into the web of imperial plots and intrigues that she vowed to leave behind. Determined and resourceful, Selene must shield her loved ones from the emperor's wrath, all while vying with ruthless rivals like King Herod. Can she find a way to overcome the threat to her marriage, her kingdom, her family, and her faith? Or will she be the last of her line?

Daughters of the North

by Sarah Hall

In her stunning novel, Hall imagines a new dystopia set in the not-too-distant future. England is in a state of environmental crisis and economic collapse. There has been a census, and all citizens have been herded into urban centers. Reproduction has become a lottery, with contraceptive coils fitted to every female of childbearing age. A girl who will become known only as "Sister" escapes the confines of her repressive marriage to find an isolated group of women living as "un-officials" in Carhullan, a remote northern farm, where she must find out whether she has it in herself to become a rebel fighter. Provocative and timely, Daughters of the North poses questions about the lengths women will go to resist their oppressors, and under what circumstances might an ordinary person become a terrorist.

Daughters of the Revolution

by Carolyn Cooke

From the O. Henry Award-winning author of the story collection The Bostons--a New York Times Notable Book, Los Angeles Times Book of the Year and winner of the PEN/Robert Bingham Fellowship for Writers--an exquisite first novel set at a disintegrating New England prep school.It's 1968. The prestigious but cash-strapped Goode School in the town of Cape Wilde is run by its aging, philandering headmaster, Goddard Byrd, known to both his friends and his enemies as God. With Cape Wilde engulfed by the social and political storms of integration, coeducation and the sexual revolution, God has confidently promised coeducation "over my dead body." And then, through a clerical error, the Goode School admits its first female student: Carole Faust, a brilliant, intractable fifteen-year-old black girl.What does it mean to be the First Girl? Carolyn Cooke has written a ferociously intelligent, richly sensual novel about the lives of girls and women, the complicated desperation of daughters without fathers and the erosion of paternalistic power in an elite New England town on the cusp of radical social change. Remarkable for the precision of its language, the incandescence of its images, and the sly provocations of its moral and emotional predicaments, Daughters of the Revolution is a novel of exceptional force and beauty.From the Hardcover edition.

Daughters of the Sea #1: Hannah

by Kathryn Lasky

A terrific new historical fiction quartet from Kathy Lasky, acclaimed author of the best-selling Guardians of Ga'Hoole series. Daughters of the Sea tells the story of 3 mermaid sisters who are separated at birth by a storm and go on to lead three very different lives. Book 1 is about Hannah, who spent her early days in an orphanage and is now a scullery maid in the house of rich, powerful family. She is irresistibly drawn to the sea and through a series of accidents and encounters discovers her true identity. Hannah relizes that she must keep the truth a secret but she also knows that soon she will have to make the choice - to be a creature of the land or the sea.

Daughters of the Sea #2: May

by Kathryn Lasky

Book 2 in Kathryn Lasky's shimmering quartet about mermaid sisters and supernatural love. May feels her life drying up. The sea calls to her, but her parents forbid her from swimming. She longs for books, but her mother finds her passion for learning strange. She yearns for independence, but a persistent suitor, Rudd, wants to tame her spirited ways. Yet after her fifteenth birthday, the urge to break free becomes overpowering and May makes a life-changing discovery. She does not belong on land where girls are meant to be obedient. She is a mermaid-a creature of the sea. For the first time, May learns what freedom feels like-the thrill of exploring both the vast ocean and the previously forbidden books. She even catches the eye of Hugh, an astronomy student who, unlike the townspeople, finds May anything but strange. But not everyone is pleased with May's transformation. Rudd decides that if can't have May, no one will. He knows how to destroy her happiness and goes to drastic measures to ensure that May loses everything: her freedom and the only boy she's ever loved.

Daughters of the Sea #3: Lucy

by Kathryn Lasky

A choice between love and survival . . . Lucy's family is excited to spend the summer in Bar Harbor, Maine. Her minister father is pleased to preside over such a prestigious congregation, and his social-climbing wife is ecstatic at the chance to find a rich husband for her daughter. Yet Lucy wants nothing to do with the Bar Harbor social scene; she's simply excited to spend the summer by the sea, watching the waves from her favorite spot on the cliff. Despite having never gone swimming, Lucy feels an intense connection to the ocean, and meets a handsome ship-builder who shows Lucy a world she's never known, yet somehow always longed for. However, her mother will stop at nothing to keep Lucy and the ship builder apart, even if it means throwing Lucy into the arms of a wealthy man with a dangerous secret. Can Lucy break free and embrace her destiny as a daughter of the sea? Or is she doomed to waste away in a gilded cage, slowly dying of a broken heart?

Daughters of the Trade: Atlantic Slavers and Interracial Marriage on the Gold Coast

by Pernille Ipsen

Severine Brock's first language was Ga, yet it was not surprising when, in 1842, she married Edward Carstensen. He was the last governor of Christiansborg, the fort that, in the eighteenth century, had been the center of Danish slave trading in West Africa. She was the descendant of Ga-speaking women who had married Danish merchants and traders. Their marriage would have been familiar to Gold Coast traders going back nearly 150 years. In Daughters of the Trade, Pernille Ipsen follows five generations of marriages between African women and Danish men, revealing how interracial marriage created a Euro-African hybrid culture specifically adapted to the Atlantic slave trade. Although interracial marriage was prohibited in European colonies throughout the Atlantic world, in Gold Coast slave-trading towns it became a recognized and respected custom. Cassare, or "keeping house," gave European men the support of African women and their kin, which was essential for their survival and success, while African families made alliances with European traders and secured the legitimacy of their offspring by making the unions official. For many years, Euro-African families lived in close proximity to the violence of the slave trade. Sheltered by their Danish names and connections, they grew wealthy and influential. But their powerful position on the Gold Coast did not extend to the broader Atlantic world, where the link between blackness and slavery grew stronger, and where Euro-African descent did not guarantee privilege. By the time Severine Brock married Edward Carstensen, their world had changed. Daughters of the Trade uncovers the vital role interracial marriage played in the coastal slave trade, the production of racial difference, and the increasing stratification of the early modern Atlantic world.

Daughters of the Witching Hill

by Mary Sharratt

Daughters of theWitching Hill brings history to life in a vivid and wrenching account of a family sustained by love as they try to survive the hysteria of a witch-hunt. Bess Southerns, an impoverished widow living in Pendle Forest, is haunted by visions and gains a reputation as a cunning woman. Drawing on the Catholic folk magic of her youth, Bess heals the sick and foretells the future. As she ages, she instructs her granddaughter, Alizon, in her craft, as well as her best friend, who ultimately turns to dark magic. When a peddler suffers a stroke after exchanging harsh words with Alizon, a local magistrate, eager to make his name as a witch finder, plays neighbors and family members against one another until suspicion and paranoia reach frenzied heights. Sharratt interweaves well-researched historical details of the 1612 Pendle witch-hunt with a beautifully imagined story of strong women, family, and betrayal. Daughters of the Witching Hill is a powerful novel of intrigue and revelation.

Daughters of Zion: A Family's Conversion to Polygamy

by Kim Taylor

An odyssey of mayhem, murder, and tragedy, is what Kim's family unknowingly embarks upon in their quest for a peaceful existence in an unorthodox religious society. It is on a deceptively fine spring day, at the tender age of seven, that Kim is uprooted from her comfortable middle class home in Utah to be moved into a polygamous colony in Mexico. From that day forward her life takes dramatic twists and turns as, one by one, her older sisters become plural wives and Kim herself is eventually courted by the polygamist fathers of some of her good friends. Her relatively peaceful world is shattered when violence erupts within the ranks of the priesthood leaving her sister a widow, and Kim fears for her own life as some of her closest friends become murderers in the name of religion. In the end, her family is devastated by a tragedy of a more insidious evil.

A Daughter's Perfect Secret

by Kimberly Van Meter

There's something rotten in Wyoming.With its beautiful, blissful residents and close-knit community, Cold Plains seems the ideal place to settle down. But Dr. Rafe Black senses the crack in its veneer the moment he arrives. On a desperate mission, he can't allow anything to stand in his way. Including the captivating woman who could be harboring the town's most horrific secret...Reeling from the revelation that she isn't who she thought she was, Darcy Craven isn't leaving until she uncovers the truth about her past. She knows she shouldn't trust the handsome healer with the sad smile. But every step brings Rafe and Darcy closer together-and closer to a truth that could cost them their lives.

A Daughter's Quest

by Lena Nelson Dooley

As he lies dying, Constance's father asks her to seek out a troubled friend of his from the war and tell him about God's love. Although she would rather stay with those she has known all her life, Constance obeys her father's wishes. She leaves her home in the mountains of Arkansas on a quest to find Jim Mitchell, reportedly living in Iowa. Constance soon discovers that locating Jim will not be as easy as she hoped, especially if she wants to avoid raising suspicions among the townsfolk of Browning City. And for reasons that escape her, the local blacksmith, Hans Van de Keift, seems to take her on as his special concern, shadowing her every step. Will Constance find Jim, or will her quest lead her instead to a destiny prepared by her heavenly Father, one that she would never have envisioned on her own.

The Daughter's Return

by Rebecca Winters

Welcome to the Kathryn McFarland National Foundation. Since its inception, the foundation has assisted approximately 17,000 families in locating missing children. . . This is Maggie McFarland's life's work. Yet each time she helps another family locate a missing child, it does nothing to erase the pain of losing her baby sister Kathryn, abducted twenty-six years ago. Even so, Maggie's hope is renewed when she finds a man who's turning up more leads than her family has ever gotten. Jake Halsey can't tell Maggie the truth about his job-not yet. But he's glad to do whatever he can, using his CIA connections, to help find the missing sister. Because finding Kathryn would give Maggie her life back-a life Jake wants to be a part of.

The Daughters Take the Stage

by Joanna Philbin

The daughter of chart-topping pop star Holla Jones, stylish and sensitive Hudson Jones is on the brink of her own musical debut. Hudson has inherited her mother's talent, but she hasn't yet embraced Holla's love of the megawatt spotlight. Can Hudson find a way to perform that reflects her own low-key style? Or will Holla see to it that her only daughter becomes a pop music sensation?Go behind the music in this third novel in Joanna Philbin's stylish and heartfelt Daughters series.

The Daughters Take the Stage

by Joanna Philbin

The daughter of chart-topping pop star Holla Jones, stylish and sensitive Hudson Jones is on the brink of her own musical debut. Hudson has inherited her mother's talent, but she hasn't yet embraced Holla's love of the megawatt spotlight. Can Hudson find a way to perform that reflects her own low-key style? Or will Holla see to it that her only daughter becomes a pop music sensation?Go behind the music in this third novel in Joanna Philbin's stylish and heartfelt Daughters series.

A Daughter's Tale: The Memoir of Winston Churchill's Youngest Child

by Mary Soames

In this charming and intimate memoir, Winston Churchill's youngest daughter shares stories from her remarkable life--and tells of the unbreakable bond she forged with her father through some of the most tumultuous years in British history. Now approaching her ninetieth birthday, Mary Soames is the only surviving child of Winston and Clementine Churchill. Through a combination of personal reminiscences and never-before-published diary entries, she describes what it was like growing up as the scion of one of the lions of twentieth-century statecraft. Warm memories of a childhood spent roaming the grounds of the family's country estate, tending to a small menagerie of pets, evoke the idyllic mood of England between the wars. As she matures into one of her father's most trusted companions, we are given rare glimpses inside the glittering social milieu through which the Churchills moved--as well as the rough-and-tumble world of British politics. With fly-on-the-wall immediacy, Mary describes the momentous debate in Parliament where Prime Minister Neville Chamberlain was driven from office, paving the way for Winston Churchill's ascension and the grueling crucible of World War II. During the war Mary served as a gunner in the women's auxiliary, helping to shoot down the German V-1 rockets then bedeviling London. Styling herself as Private M. Churchill to avoid publicity, she led a unique double life that comes vividly alive again in the retelling. Splitting her time between luncheons at Chequers--where she spent time with the likes of Lord Mountbatten--and the turret of an anti-aircraft battery, she was never far from the center of the action. Hitler even reportedly hatched a plan, never consummated, to hire spies to seduce her in order to gain access to secret British war plans. She attended the Potsdam Conference as her father's aide-de-camp, arranging a memorable dinner with Harry Truman and Josef Stalin (whom she acidly remembers as "small, dapper, and rather twinkly"). And when British voters overwhelmingly turned on Churchill in the 1945 election, it is left to Mary to recount the pain and devastation her father could never publicly express. The mutual love and affection between Mary Soames and her parents pours forth from every page of this elegantly written memoir. A Daughter's Taleis both a moving personal history and a source of untold insight into one of the enduring icons of British national life.

The Daughter's Walk

by Jane Kirkpatrick

A mother's tragedy, a daughter's desire and the 7000 mile journey that changed their lives. In 1896 Norwegian American Helga Estby accepted a wager from the fashion industry to walk from Spokane, Washington to New York City within seven months in an effort to earn $10,000. Bringing along her nineteen year-old daughter Clara, the two made their way on the 3500-mile trek by following the railroad tracks and motivated by the money they needed to save the family farm. After returning home to the Estby farm more than a year later, Clara chose to walk on alone by leaving the family and changing her name. Her decisions initiated a more than 20-year separation from the only life she had known. Historical fiction writer Jane Kirkpatrick picks up where the fact of the Estbys' walk leaves off to explore Clara's continued journey. What motivated Clara to take such a risk in an era when many women struggled with the issues of rights and independence? And what personal revelations brought Clara to the end of her lonely road? The Daughter's Walk weaves personal history and fiction together to invite readers to consider their own journeys and family separations, to help determine what exile and forgiveness are truly about."Kirkpatrick has done impeccable homework, and what she recreates and what she imagines are wonderfully seamless. Readers see the times, the motives, the relationships that produce a chain of decisions and actions, all rendered with understatement. Kirkpatrick is a master at using fiction to illuminate history's truths. This beautiful and compelling work of historical fiction deserves the widest possible audience."--Publishers Weekly (Starred Review)From the Trade Paperback edition.

The Dauntless Dive Bomber of World War Two

by Barrett Tillman

Popularly known as the Douglas Dauntless, the U.S. Navy's SBD dive bomber was well named. Though considered obsolete at the time of the attack on Pearl Harbor, the Dauntless turned the tide of war in the Pacific with the destruction of four Japanese carriers at the Battle of Midway, making its mark in aviation history for sinking more enemy carriers than any other aircraft. Still in service at war's end, the Dauntless was the only U.S. carrier aircraft in operation from Pearl Harbor to V-J Day. The Dauntless was the only American Navy aircraft to fly in al five of the naval engagements fought exclusively by aircraft carriers and was credited with sinking the first Japanese fleet submarine and dropping the first bombs on Japanese-occupied soil during the war. The SBD was also active in the Atlantic, sinking Vichy French shipping at Casablanca and German vessels in Scandinavian waters. In between his authoritative accounts of these missions, Barrett Tillman tells the rousing story of the men who took the "slow but deadly" Dauntless into combat, loving her for her ruggedness and dependability while wishing for more speed and firepower. Among the people he describes is the pilot who nearly single-handedly knocked out a Japanese carrier and died in the process, and SBD squadron that flew unexpectedly into the Pearl Harbor attack. Filled with fascinating photographs, this book was widely acclaimed in 1976 when first published and is now available for the first time in paperback.

Dave at Night

by Gail Carson Levine

The next song was slow, and the trumpet was more important than the piano. I closed my eyes. The trumpet purred and hummed, and sometimes it sang so sweetly it could have been a lullaby. I leaned my head back against the wall behind my chair. I wondered if Irma Lee knew how to do the Charleston. I didn't know anything about dancing. But if I tried it, I knew she wouldn't laugh at me.<P>I'd be her friend, just like I promised I would. I'd be her friend even if I had to climb down the walls of the asylum to go to see her.

Dave Barry Does Japan

by Dave Barry

"One of the funniest peole ever to tap tap on a PC. "PHILADELPHIA INQUIRERNot since George Bush's memorable dinner with the Japanese prime minister has the Land of the Rising Sun seen the likes of a goodwill ambassador like Dave Barry. Join him as he belts out oldies in a karaoke bar, marries a geriatric geisha girl, takes his first bath in public, bows to just about everyone, and explores culture shock in all its numerous humorous forms, including: Failing to Learn Japanese in Only Five Minutes (Or: "Very Much Good Morning, Sir!"); Humor in Japan (Take My Tofu, Please!); Sports in Japan ("Yo, Batter! Loudly Make it Fly!"), and more.

Dave Barry in Cyberspace

by Dave Barry

"RELENTLESSLY FUNNY . . . BARRY SHINES." --People. A self-professed computer geek who actually does Windows 95, bestselling humorist Dave Barry takes us on a hilarious hard drive via the information superhighway--and into the very heart of cyberspace, asking the provocative question: If God had wanted us to be concise, why give us so many fonts? Inside you'll find juicy bytes on How to Buy and Set Up a Computer; Step One: Get Valium Nerdstock in the Desert; Or: Bill Gates Is Elvis Software: Making Your Computer Come Alive So It Can Attack You Word Processing: How to Press an Enormous Number of Keys Without Ever Actually Writing Anything Selected Web Sites, including Cursing in Swedish, Deformed Frog Pictures, and The Toilets of Melbourne, Australia And much, much more! "VERY FUNNY ... After a day spent staring at a computer monitor, think of the book as a kind of screen saver for your brain." --New York Times Book Review

Dave Barry is from Mars and Venus

by Dave Barry

Dave Barry reveals the shocking secrets of his biplanetary identity in a transparent attempt to get on some afternoon talk shows and sell a few extra copies of this latest collection of his funniest syndicated columns. Maybe you read a really funny Dave Barry column and really, really meant to save it, but we all know how that goes: out with the rest of the recyclables. Or maybe you didn't get around to reading the newspaper one day and wondered if you missed the most hilarious Dave Barry column of all time. Well, that's why some smart marketing person invented "best of" collections, and that's why you need Dave Barry Is from Mars and Venus. It's got Dave's coverage of the Olympics, featuring an account of his participation with the U. S. synchronized swim team: "Picture a bunch of elegant swans swimming with a flailing sea cow". Also on hand are Dave's unfortunate appearance on Wheel of Fortune, his (non)lunch with Hillary Rodham Clinton, what happened when he shot a Gymnast Barbie doll out of a potato gun, the last word on turkey rectums, and much, much more from a guy who knows where he's coming from. Dave Barry is a Pulitzer Prize-winning columnist and the best-selling author of Dave Barry in Cyberspace (Crown, 1996), Dave Barry's Guide to Guys, Dave Barry Turns 40 (Crown, 1990), and other books. He lives in Miami, Florida. First, a few words about the title. It isn't easy, coming up with book titles. A lot of the really good ones are taken. Thin Thighs in 30 Days, for example. Also The Bible. Another restriction was that the publisher wanted a title with my name in it. Over the years, most of my book titles have had my name in them (Dave Barry Turns 40, Dave Barry Turns 41, Dave Barry Develops a Nasal Polyp, etc. ) I realize this sounds egotistical, but it's not my idea. I'd be a lot happier if the book titles had a name with more appeal to the mass public, like Stephen King, or The Beatles. If it weren't for the potential legal hassles, this book would be called something like Develop Washboard Abs in One Hour with John Grisham and Madonna (As Seen on Oprah). Anyway, the first title actually considered for this book was Another Damn Dave Barry Book. I liked that one, because it was punchy, yet at the same time it said absolutely nothing. But then Crown changed its mind and decided against this title, presumably on the grounds that the word damn would offend some people, who would therefore not buy the book. Of course you could argue that this was a good reason to use the title, because people who'd be offended by the word damn would probably suffer cerebral hemorrhages if they read the book's actual contents.

Dave Barry Is Not Making This Up

by Dave Barry

Since Dave Barry writes about weird things, you might be tempted to think he has a weird brain. He does, of course, but that's not the whole explanation: A lot of the things he writes about -- exploding Pop-Tarts, for example -- are real. In fact, Dave's main job as a humor columnist -- aside from playing Stealth Fighter on his computer to avoid writing humor columns -- is to point out what is already funny in a world that is seriously bonkers.In Dave's world, amazing but true adventures occur every day, as the Pulitzer Prize-winning columnist investigates a ground-breaking anti-flatulence product recommended to him by a justice of the U.S. Supreme Court; the ecologically dangerous shellfish attacking women's undergarments; and the epidemic of snakes and woodland creatures currently appearing in people's toilets. Dave's bad song contest required him to read thousands of entries from people like you; now, people like you could have the pleasure of being badgered all the bad songs that badger Dave.Dave also participates in real-life form of investigative journalism that actually require him to leave the house: marching with the Lawn Rangers precision lawnmower drill team of Arcola, Illinois; playing lead guitar in an extremely mediocre rock band with Stephen King and other literary lights; and taking his little boat Buster from its happy berth in the Barry garage onto Miami's high seas, only to run it aground. He's even appeared in an episode of "Dave's World," the CBS television show based on his real life -- only taller -- in which he bids for an air conditioner.Dave Barry Is Not Making This Up includes longer feature pieces by Dave in which many of the featured facts happen to be accurate. Now you can read Dave Barry on UFO thrillseekers and the Elvis lovers who hang out at Graceland -- all articles that show Dave at his best and smartest. Complete with illustrations by Pulitzer Prize-winning cartoonist Jeff MacNelly, Dave Barry is Not Making This Up brings you straight into the truly twisted center of Dave's world.On Buying His Son Sneakers: The salesperson's tone of voice carried the clear implication that he was going to call the Child Abuse Hotline if I didn't care enough, as a parent, to take out a second mortgage so I could purchase sufficient sneakerage for my son.... We need Congress to pass a law requiring the sneaker industry to return to the system we had when I was growing up, under which there was only one kind of sneakers, namely U.S. Keds, which were made from Army surplus tents and which cost about $10, or roughly $1 per pound.On Being Left-Handed: According to the researchers, left-handers die sooner than right-handers because they have more accidents. I know why this is: We read books backward...This saves us a lot of time with murder mysteries, but it's a bad habit when we're reading, say, the instructions for operating a barbecue grill, and we begin with "Step 147: Ignite Gas."On The Uses Of Exploding Pop-Tarts: When we detected incoming missiles, we'd simply hold the toaster levers down via some method (possibly involving Tom and Roseanne Arnold) and within a few minutes Whoom the country would be surrounded by a protective wall of flames, and the missiles would either burn up or get knocked off course and detonate harmlessly in some place like New Jersey.On Readers' Reaction To The Bad Song Contest: Sometimes the voters were so angry that they weren't even sure of the name of the song they hated. There were votes against "These Boots Are Made for Stomping"; the Beach Boys' classic "Carolina Girls"; "I'm Nothing But a Hound Dog"; and "Ain't No Woman Like the One-Eyed Gott."From the Hardcover edition.

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