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No Rest for the Witches

by Lori Handeland Maryjanice Davidson Cheyenne Mccray Christine Warren

From broomsticks to black magic, leather-clad warriors to love potions gone wrong, four stories of supernatural sex and suspense. Contains The Majicka by Maryjanice Davidson; Voodoo Moon by Lori Handeland; Breath of Magic by Cheyenne McCray; Any Witch Way She Can by Christine Warren.

Moon Fever

by Lori Handeland Maggie Shayne Susan Sizemore Caridad Pineiro

Spellbinding paranormal stories by four stellar authors that will send shivers of desire down your spine. In "Tempting Fate" by Susan Sizemore, Desiree dreams she spent a passion-filled night with sexy rock star Jon Coyote...and that he told her he was a vampire. But when Desiree discovers she is mysteriously pregnant, her erotic fantasy takes a strangely realistic turn. An angry ghost is haunting Caroline's house in "The Darkness Within" by award-winning author Maggie Shayne. But when sexy private investigator Jim Lipton offers to help discover what is going on, Caroline suspects that he has a personal interest in her ghost -- and in her. In "Cobwebs Over the Moon" by Lori Handeland, Manhattanite Carly Kelly is pursued by werewolves across the wintry Alaskan wilderness, and only ruggedly handsome soldier Dylan Shepard stands between her and death. Lycanthropy takes an exotic tropical twist in "Crazy for the Cat" by Caridad PiÑeiro. When scientist Jessica Morales travels to the Amazon jungle, she discovers that beneath the savage grace of her local guide, the handsome Javier da Costa, lurks a hidden wildness that is as tempting as it is dangerous.

Biohazard

by Stephen Handelman Ken Alibek

Imagine a hot zone in which Ebola is being spliced--using the latest techniques of genetic engineering--with smallpox, the most infectious disease known to man. Now imagine that cocktail is meant for you. For fifty years, while the world stood in terror of a nuclear war, Russian scientists hidden in heavily guarded secret cities refined and stockpiled a new kind of weapon of mass destruction--an invisible weapon that would strike in silence and could not be traced. It would leave hundreds of thousands dead in its wake and would continue to spread devastation long after its release. The scientists were bioweaponeers, working to perfect the tools of a biological Armageddon. They called it their Manhattan Project. It was the deadliest and darkest secret of the cold war. What you are about to read has never before been made public. Ken Alibek began his career as a doctor wanting to save lives and ended up running the Soviet biological weapons program--a secret military empire masquerading as a pharmaceutical company. At its peak, the program employed sixty thousand people at over one hundred facilities. Seven reserve mobilization plants were on permanent standby, ready to produce hundreds of tons of plague, anthrax, smallpox, and Venezuelan equine encephalitis, to name only a few of the toxic agents bred in Soviet labs. Almost every government ministry was implicated, including the Academy of Sciences and the KGB. Biohazard is a terrifying, fast-paced account of tests and leaks, accidents and disasters in the labs, KGB threats and assassinations. The book is full of revelations--evidence of biowarfare programs in Cuba and India, actual deployments at Stalingrad and in Afghanistan, experiments with mood-altering agents, a contingency plan to attack major American cities, and the true story behind the mysterious anthrax outbreak in Sverdlovsk. But beyond these is a twisted world of lies and mirrors, and the riveting parable of the greatest perversion of science in history. No one knows the actual capabilities of biological weapons better than Dr. Alibek. Many of the scientists who worked with him have been lured away from low-paying Russian labs to rogue regimes and terrorist groups around the world. In our lifetime, we will most likely see a terrorist attack using biological weapons on an American city. Biohazard tells us--in chilling detail--what to expect and what we can do. Not since Arthur Koestler's Darkness at Noon has there been such a book--a report from inside the belly of the beast.Praise for Biohazard "Harrowing . . . richly descriptive . . . [an] absorbing account."--The New York Times Book Review "Remarkable . . . terrifying revelations . . . [Ken Alibek's] overall message is ignored at great national peril."--Newsday "Read and be amazed. . . . An important and fascinating look into a terrifying world of which we were blissfully unaware."--Robin Cook, author of ContagionFrom the Hardcover edition.

The Stench of Honolulu

by Jack Handey

The legendary Deep Thoughts and New Yorker humorist Jack Handey is back with his very first novel-a hilarious, absurd, far-flung adventure tale.THE STENCH OF HONOLOLUAre you a fan of books in which famous tourist destinations are repurposed as unlivable hellholes for no particular reason? Read on!Jack Handey's exotic tale is full of laugh-out-loud twists and unforgettable characters whose names escape me right now. A reliably unreliable narrator and his friend, who is some other guy, need to get out of town. They have a taste for adventure, so they pay a visit to a relic of bygone days-a travel agent-and discover an old treasure map. She might have been a witch, by the way. Our heroes soon embark on a quest for the Golden Monkey, which takes them into the mysterious and stinky foreign land of Honolulu. There, they meet untold dangers, confront strange natives, kill and eat Turtle People, kill some other things and people, eat another thing, and discover the ruins of ancient civilizations. As our narrator says, "The ruins were impressive. But like so many civilizations, they forgot the rule that might have saved them: Don't let vines grow all over you."

Me? Obey Him?

by Elizabeth Rice Handford

From the book: Through centuries in churches holding the historic Christian faith, in marriage ceremonies the wife has promised "to love, honor and obey" her husband. Up until about fifty years ago the men did the voting for the family and his vote was supposed to represent his wife's position as well as his own. In New Testament churches a woman was not allowed to be a pastor or teach men or usurp authority over men. And that leads to the serious question. Should a wife obey even her unsaved husband? Should she obey in everything? Here Mrs. Handford deals with remarkable clarity and scriptural evidence with this question. In her introduction she says: "Some of the ideas in these pages may be absolutely new to you, and foreign to everything you have ever believed. Hopefully, you will find them absolutely faithful to the Scriptures, and that they will lead to holy and happy living. Because this is an area fraught with opinion and prejudice, you'll need to ask the Lord to open your heart and mind to the truth. Ask Him to show you exactly what He requires. Then, if I touch a place of need in your life, you will recognize it, and seek cleansing for it. "John 7:17 says, 'If an

The Language of Business Meetings

by Michael Handford

This innovative volume presents an in-depth study of the language used by participants in business meetings. The cutting-edge research draws on the Cambridge and Nottingham Business English Corpus (CANBEC), a unique resource which brings together meetings of different types both within and between companies, involving speakers whose roles and responsibilities vary, and who represent a range of nationalities and first languages. Keywords, concordance lines and discourse analysis provide thorough insights into aspects such as the structural stages of meetings, participants' discursive practices, interpersonal language and creativity, and power and constraint. The author concludes by making practical suggestions for using these findings to inform the teaching of business English.

Aesop's Fables

by S. A. Handford

An illustrated collection of twenty-four Aesop fables selected from those populated only by animals, arranged in categories such as lion fables, fox fables, and wolf fables.

Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea

by Chelsea Handler

THE EAGERLY AWAITED COLLECTION OF PERSONAL ESSAYS FROM THE BESTSELLING AUTHOR OF MY HORIZONTAL LIFE When Chelsea Handler needs to get a few things off her chest, she appeals to a higher power -- vodka. You would too if you found out that your boyfriend was having an affair with a Peekapoo or if you had to pretend to be honeymooning with your father in order to upgrade to first class. Welcome to Chelsea's world -- a place where absurdity reigns supreme and a quick wit is the best line of defense. In this hilarious, deliciously skewed collection, Chelsea mines her past for stories about her family, relationships, and career that are at once singular and ridiculous. Whether she's convincing her third-grade class that she has been tapped to play Goldie Hawn's daughter in the sequel to Private Benjamin, deciding to be more egalitarian by dating a redhead, or looking out for a foulmouthed, rum-swilling little person who looks just like her...only smaller, Chelsea has a knack for getting herself into the most outrageous situations. Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea showcases the candor and irresistible turns of phrase that have made her one of the freshest voices in comedy today.

Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea

by Chelsea Handler

THE EAGERLY AWAITED COLLECTION OF PERSONAL ESSAYS FROM THE BESTSELLING AUTHOR OF MY HORIZONTAL LIFE When Chelsea Handler needs to get a few things off her chest, she appeals to a higher power -- vodka. You would too if you found out that your boyfriend was having an affair with a Peekapoo or if you had to pretend to be honeymooning with your father in order to upgrade to first class. Welcome to Chelsea's world -- a place where absurdity reigns supreme and a quick wit is the best line of defense. In this hilarious, deliciously skewed collection, Chelsea mines her past for stories about her family, relationships, and career that are at once singular and ridiculous. Whether she's convincing her third-grade class that she has been tapped to play Goldie Hawn's daughter in the sequel to Private Benjamin, deciding to be more egalitarian by dating a redhead, or looking out for a foulmouthed, rum-swilling little person who looks just like her...only smaller, Chelsea has a knack for getting herself into the most outrageous situations. Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea showcases the candor and irresistible turns of phrase that have made her one of the freshest voices in comedy today.

Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang

by Chelsea Handler

WHAT . . . A RIOT! Life doesn't get more hilarious than when Chelsea Handler takes aim with her irreverent wit. Who else would send all-staff emails to smoke out the dumbest people on her show? Now, in this new collection of original essays, the #1 bestselling author of Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea delivers one laugh-out-loud moment after another as she sets her sights on the ridiculous side of childhood, adulthood, and daughterhood. Family moments are fair game, whether it's writing a report on Reaganomics to earn a Cabbage Patch doll, or teaching her father social graces by ordering him to stay indoors. It's open season on her love life, from playing a prank on her boyfriend (using a ravioli, a fake autopsy, and the Santa Monica pier) to adopting a dog so she can snuggle with someone who doesn't talk. And everyone better duck for cover when her beach vacation turns into matchmaking gone wild. Outrageously funny and deliciously wicked, CHELSEA CHELSEA BANG BANG is good good good good! CHELSEA HANDLER ON... Being unpopular: "My parents couldn't have been more unreasonable when it came to fads or clothes that weren't purchased at a pharmacy." Living with her boyfriend: "He's similar to a large toddler, the only difference being he doesn't cry when he wakes up." Appreciating her brother: "He's a certified public accountant, and I have a real life." Arm-wrestling a maid of honor: "It wasn't her strength that intimidated me. It was the starry way her eyes focused on me, like Mike Tyson getting ready to feed."

Lies that Chelsea Handler Told Me

by Chelsea Handler

"My tendency to make up stories and lie compulsively for the sake of my own amusement takes up a good portion of my day and provides me with a peace of mind not easily attainable in this economic climate."--Chelsea Handler, from Chapter 10 of Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang It's no lie: Chelsea Handler loves to smoke out "dumbassness," the condition people suffer from that allows them to fall prey to her brand of complete and utter nonsense. Friends, family, co-workers--they've all been tricked by Chelsea into believing stories of total foolishness and into behaving like total fools. Luckily, they've lived to tell the tales and, for the very first time, write about them.

My Horizontal Life

by Chelsea Handler

In this raucous collection of true-life stories, Chelsea Handler recounts her time spent in the social trenches with that wild, strange, irresistible, and often gratifying beast: the one-night stand.You've either done it or know someone who has: the one-night stand, the familiar outcome of a night spent at a bar, sometimes the sole payoff for your friend's irritating wedding, or the only relief from a disastrous vacation. Often embarrassing and uncomfortable, occasionally outlandish, but most times just a necessary and irresistible evil, the one-night stand is a social rite as old as sex itself and as common as a bar stool.Enter Chelsea Handler. Gorgeous, sharp, and anything but shy, Chelsea loves men and lots of them. My Horizontal Life chronicles her romp through the different bedrooms of a variety of suitors, a no-holds-barred account of what can happen between a man and a sometimes very intoxicated, outgoing woman during one night of passion. From her short fling with a Vegas stripper to her even shorter dalliance with a well-endowed little person, from her uncomfortable tryst with a cruise ship performer to her misguided rebound with a man who likes to play leather dress-up, Chelsea recalls the highs and lows of her one-night stands with hilarious honesty. Encouraged by her motley collection of friends (aka: her partners in crime) but challenged by her family members (who at times find themselves a surprise part of the encounter), Chelsea hits bottom and bounces back, unafraid to share the gritty details. My Horizontal Life is one guilty pleasure you won't be ashamed to talk about in the morning.

My Horizontal Life: A Collection of One-night Stands

by Chelsea Handler

Gorgeous, sharp and anything but shy, Chelsea loves men ... lots of them. In this raucous collection of true-life stories, she chronicles her romp through the bedrooms of a variety of suitors.

Uganda Be Kidding Me

by Chelsea Handler

Wherever Chelsea Handler travels, one thing is certain: she always ends up in the land of the ridiculous. Now, in this uproarious collection, she sneaks her sharp wit through airport security and delivers her most absurd and hilarious stories ever. On safari in Africa, it's anyone's guess as to what's more dangerous: the wildlife or Chelsea. But whether she's fumbling the seduction of a guide by not knowing where tigers live (Asia, duh) or wearing a bathrobe into the bush because her clothes stopped fitting seven margaritas ago, she's always game for the next misadventure. The situation gets down and dirty as she defiles a kayak in the Bahamas, and outright sweaty as she escapes from a German hospital on crutches. When things get truly scary, like finding herself stuck next to a passenger with bad breath, she knows she can rely on her family to make matters even worse. Thank goodness she has the devoted Chunk by her side-except for the time she loses him in Telluride. Complete with answers to the most frequently asked traveler's questions, hot travel trips, and travel etiquette, none of which should be believed, UGANDA BE KIDDING ME has Chelsea taking on the world, one laugh-out-loud incident at a time.

Uganda Be Kidding Me

by Chelsea Handler

The author who is a stand-up comedian herself, describes her travel adventures and misadventures during a trip to Africa with her friends.

Man Up!

by Chelsea Handler Gwyneth Paltrow Ross Mathews

As a young kid growing up in a farm town, Ross Mathews might as well have wished for a pet unicorn or a calorie-free cookie tree to grow in his front yard. Either of those far-fetched fantasies would have been more likely to come true than his real dream: working in television in Hollywood, California. Seriously, that stuff just doesn't happen to people like Ross. But guess what. It totally did.Now, with his first book, Ross takes us inside his journey as a super-fan, revealing the most embarrassing and hilarious moments of his small-town life and big-city adventures. From learning to swear like a hardened trucker to that time in high school when had to face down the most frightening opponent of all (his girlfriend's lady bits), Ross holds nothing back. Oh, then there's his surprisingly shady past involving the cutest pair of plus-sized women's pajama bottoms, deliciously dangerous pot butter, and embezzled sandwiches. And, of course, how he's managed to turn an obsession with pop-culture into one-on-one interactions with celebrities like Gwyneth Paltrow, Tiffani-Amber Theissen, Madonna, Michelle Kwan, and countless more without ever having a single restraining order issued against him.Infused with Ross's trademark humor, unique voice, and total honesty, MAN UP! is a mission statement for anyone who doesn't fit the mold. His hasn't been the most traditional way to build a career in Hollywood, but Ross has somehow managed to make his mark without ever compromising who he is. He is as serious about this as he is about Golden Girls trivia: You don't need to change who you are to achieve your dreams (although there's nothing wrong with a makeover every now and then). You just need to Man Up!

The Basic Eight

by Daniel Handler

Flannery Culp wants you to know the whole story of her spectacularly awful senior year. Tyrants, perverts, tragic crushes, gossip, cruel jokes, and the hallucinatory effects of absinthe -- Flannery and the seven other friends in the Basic Eight have suffered through it all. But now, on tabloid television, they're calling Flannery a murderer, which is a total lie. It's true that high school can be so stressful sometimes. And it's true that sometimes a girl just has to kill someone. But Flannery wants you to know that she's not a murderer at all -- she's a murderess.

The Boy Who Never Grew Up

by David Handler

A famous director, mired in a nasty divorce, hires Hoagy to salvage his nameIn Matthew Wax's films, politicians are honest, parents are respected, and nice guys finish first. Wax has been Hollywood's most beloved director for decades, and his personal life seemed as squeaky-clean as the world of his films. But when he and his wife, leading lady Pennyroyal Brim, file for divorce, the mud starts to fly. She accuses him of bedroom tyranny, sexual perversion, and every stripe of abuse. When she announces a tell-all memoir, Wax fires back the only way he can. He calls Stewart Hoag, ghostwriter to the stars. To tell Wax's side of the story, Hoagy and his basset hound Lulu have to get closer to the boy wonder than anyone ever has. The true story of the man behind America's most family-friendly films is even darker than the press suspects, and people will die to keep it hidden from view.

The Hot Pink Farmhouse

by David Handler

Mystery and murder.

Kiddo

by David Handler

A witty and compassionate coming-of-age tale... A noble lesson in growing up

The Man Who Died Laughing

by David Handler

Down on his luck, a writer takes a ghostwriting job for a troubled comedianStewart Hoag's first novel made him the toast of New York. Everyone in Manhattan wanted to be his friend, and he traveled the cocktail circuit supported by Merilee, his wife, and Lulu, his basset hound. But when writer's block sunk his second novel, his friends, money, and wife all disappeared. Only Lulu stuck by him. The only opportunity left is ghostwriting--an undignified profession that still beats dental school. His first client is Sonny Day, an aging comic who was the king of slapstick three decades ago. Since he and his partner had a falling out in the late 1950s, Day has grown embittered and poor, until the only thing left for him to do is write a memoir. Hoagy and Lulu fly to Hollywood expecting a few months of sunshine and easy living. Instead they find Day's corpse, and a murder rap with Hoagy's name on it.

It's Only Temporary

by Evan Handler

What if you were supposed to die, but you didn't? And what if, years later, your precious second chance didn't turn out anything like you thought it would? That's the journey Evan Handler experiences, and the one he explores in It's Only Temporary: The Good News and the Bad News of Being Alive. In a collection of funny, offbeat, and poignant autobiographical essays, Handler moves beyond the supposedly "incurable" illness he triumphed over in his mid-twenties--only to tumble through his thirties and forties in search of ever elusive love and happiness.From bold attempts to rekindle his acting career to hapless efforts to run faster around New York's Central Park reservoir, from bizarre Internet dates to twenty-seven breakups (involving only ten women), Handler careens through his against-all-odds existence. Always searching for meaning in his unlikely survival, he shares stories of sadistic junior high school gym teachers, bullying wannabe Hollywood moguls, returned engagement rings, and Europeans' fascination with American bathroom habits.Picking up ten years after his first book, Time on Fire, Handler again uses what the New York Times calls his "laceratingly funny and revealing" storytelling skills to weave twenty-one new tales into a defiantly unconventional memoir. Consistently witty and insightful, Handler's stories shift effortlessly from the comedic to the profound, musing with equal intensity on the existence of God and his experiences with TV stardom. Then, just when it seems he's failed to make the most of his astonishing second chance, Handler finds his way to miracles even greater than the ones that saved his life. His memoir describes his journey from darkness to light, from yearning to gratitude, and in so doing succeeds as both a stirring love story and a classic coming-of-age tale. It's Only Temporary celebrates the transformation of a boy to man--even if it look Handler more than forty years to get there.

Time on Fire

by Evan Handler

Based on Evan Handler's hit off-Broadway play (called by The New York Times "laceratingly funny and self-revealing"), Time on Fire is a remarkable memoir of illness and survival, love and hope-shot through with anger, humor, and piercing eloquence.Evan Handler was twenty-four and already an accomplished actor when he was diagnosed with acute leukemia and told that his chances for survival were slim. Resigning his role in Neil Simon's Biloxi Blues, Handler checked into New York Memorial's Cancer Center and began a bizarre, sometimes uproarious five-year journey in and out of hospitals-"a raucous rump through Hell"-only to face an equally arduous return to the life he left behind.Time on Fire is the story of Handler's passage into a twilight world: a place of lonely, haunting despair lit by moments of exultation and hilarity; a world where the truly horrible and the hysterically funny not only coexist but seem to become the same thing. Told with the trenchant humor of a survivor, it takes a wry, unflinching look at the absurdity of fighting for life in a place where death is what is most expected, and a health care system on the brink of madness. It is the story of refusing to succumb to the pressures of conformity that threatened his recovery and of the fierce struggle to find the road back to health-at all costs.From the comic accounts of his trip to a Madison Avenue sperm bank ("Nothing but the best address for my progeny") and his experimentation with psychic healing, to the portrayal of the unraveling effects of his illness on his family and girlfriend, Handler records with astonishing precision the full emotional range of his experience. The result is a bracing, achingly poignant account of his determination to steal time and reclaim life. Glowing with uncommon insights and uncompromising honesty, Time on Fire is a testament to the bravery and the endurance of the human spirit.

Invisible Sisters

by Jessica Handler

When Jessica Handler was eight years old, her younger sister Susie was diagnosed with leukemia. To any family, the diagnosis would have been upending, but to the Handlers, whose youngest daughter Sarah had been born with a rare congenital blood disorder, it was an unimaginable verdict. By the time Jessica Handler turned nine, she had begun to introduce herself as the "well sibling;" and her family had begun to come apart. Invisible Sisters is Handler's powerfully told story of coming of age--as the daughter of progressive Jewish parents who move south to participate in the social-justice movement of the 1960s; as a healthy sister living in the shadow of her siblings' illness; and as a young woman struggling to step out of the shadow of her sisters' deaths, to find and redefine herself anew. With keen-eyed sensitivity, Handler's brave account explores family love and loss, and what it takes not just to survive, but to keep living.

Invisible Sisters

by Jessica Handler

When Jessica Handler was eight years old, her younger sister Susie was diagnosed with leukemia. To any family, the diagnosis would have been upending, but to the Handlers, whose youngest daughter Sarah had been born with a rare congenital blood disorder, it was an unimaginable verdict. By the time Jessica Handler turned nine, she had begun to introduce herself as the "well sibling;" and her family had begun to come apart. Invisible Sisters is Handler's powerfully told story of coming of age-as the daughter of progressive Jewish parents who move south to participate in the social-justice movement of the 1960s; as a healthy sister living in the shadow of her siblings' illness; and as a young woman struggling to step out of the shadow of her sisters' deaths, to find and redefine herself anew. With keen-eyed sensitivity, Handler's brave account explores family love and loss, and what it takes not just to survive, but to keep living.

Showing 90,701 through 90,725 of 240,322 results

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