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Help Wanted Human: Paid holiday
by Stephen WytrysowskiSteve's back with more exciting alien interpreter expose's. This time, the interpreters go on strike to protest Smash messing with the space-time continuum, The ambassadors give the interpreters an opportunity to test their skills when the embassy invites all their Washington contacts to a Christmas party at which Steve confronts his Chricktou nemesis, Awktrick. The interpreters go home for Christmas, Steve tries to get laid, and learns that you can go home again, but home just might want you to leave. Plus! More of Smash's illusionary life lessons. Happy Holidays!
Works Well with Others (Help Wanted, Human #3)
by Stephen WytrysowskiSteve's tell-all journal continues. The alien interpreter trainees move into the Human Habitat at the Embassy and they have a new instructor -- a Hoidan Zeday retired professional tongue wrestler. Steve meets Ceiling, his sexy-voiced guide on the personnel systems facilities interface. He also develops an obsessive hatred of soap dispensers and makes friends with the Hoidan Zeday plumber who is really a genetics engineer who grows equipment. The new Cricktou liaison has a run in with leftover sushi and the bureaucrats get ulcers. The trainees interpret for a joint task force rebuilding a fighter jet that the aliens damaged during first contact. Steve get adopted by the Hoidan Zeday and gets a new job. Babysitting. Plus! Lots of dancing and beer, blood letting and piercings, hypnosis and construction, a chicken and a cow!
Harold the Iceberg Melts Down (Harold the Iceberg #1)
by Lisa WyzlicAccompanied by Rebecca Syracuse’s bold, whimsical artwork, Lisa Wyzlic’s debut picture book Harold the Iceberg Melts Down is all about the importance of friendship and self-care, perfect for any young reader worried about their planet’s future.Harold is an iceberg... lettuce. (But he doesn't realize the "lettuce" part because part of his sticker has ripped off.) So one day when he sees a documentary about how the icebergs are melting, Harold starts to worry, thinking that he's melting too.As his anxiety grows and grows, and he tries to find a way to stop melting, his fellow food friends try to help him cool down in a different way.
Bennie's Wish
by Xara X. XanakasFor years, Ally Theodisius has suspected his "friends" have been humoring him to stay in his good graces--and his wallet--so when a No Pants Day breakfast ends in his humiliation, he finally takes a stand. When model Bennie Arnold runs into Ally, his first impression is of a cute, adorably dimpled writer in dire need of a real friend. Bennie would be happy to fill the role. There's just one little problem: he's going commando, and it happens to be No Pants Day. If he has any hope of getting his wish, Bennie will have to use his best assets to convince Ally he's the real deal.
Golden Age: A Novel
by Wang XiaoboLike Gary Shteyngart or Michel Houellebecq, Wang Xiaobo is a Chinese literary icon whose satire forces us to reconsider the ironies of history.&“Apparently, there was a rumour that Chen Qingyang and I were having an affair. She wanted me to prove our innocence. I said, to prove our innocence, we must prove one of the following: 1. Chen Qingyang is a virgin; 2. I was born without a penis.Both of these propositions were hard to prove, therefore, we couldn&’t prove our innocence. Infact, I was leaning more toward proving that we weren&’t innocent.&” And so begins Wang Er&’s story of his long affair with Chen Qinyang. Wang Er, a 21-year-old ox herder, is shamed by the local authorities and forced to write a confession for his crimes but instead, takes it upon himself to write a modernist literary tract. Later, as a lecturer at a chaotic, newly built university, Wang Er navigates the bureaucratic maze of 1980&’s China, boldly writing about the Cultural Revolution&’s impact on his life and those around him. Finally, alone and humbled, Wang Er must come to terms with the banality of his own existence. But what makes this novel both hilarious and important is Xiaobo&’s use of the awkwardness of sex as a metaphor for all that occured during the Cultural Revolution. This achievement was revolutionary in China and places Golden Age in the great pantheon of novels that argue against governmental control. A leading icon of his generation, Wang Xiaobo&’s cerebral and sarcastic narrative is a reflection on the failures of individuals and the enormous political, social, and personal changes in 20thcentury China.
The Con-a-Sutra: A Guide to Full-Frontal Nerdity
by Balls XxxavierFor everyone who's a geek in the streets, a freak in the (Star Wars) sheets—or wants to be—comes a guide for nerds, by nerds. Today's nerds are loud, proud . . . and thirsty. They've stepped away from their action figure collections and toward the infinitely diverse collection of like-minded folk who are as turned on by cosplay as they are by foreplay. But as knowledgeable as they are, nerds aren't always experts when it comes to the logistics of sex. Enter The Con-a-Sutra: A Guide to Full Frontal Nerdity. This book is much more than The Idiot's Guide to Mensa Sex and light years ahead of a collection of IKEA "put tab Blaarf into slot Numdoggal" instruction sheets. Accompanied by classic comic book inspired art, noted fictional sexpert Professor Balls Xxxavier literally and figuratively illustrates the modern nerd's wildest fantasies through a series of hilarious (if occasionally unachievable) sexual positions. Written to be inclusive of LGBTQ nerds, The Con-a-Sutra recognizes that nerds come in all body types, gender identities, and sexual orientations. Whether you prefer "The Splash Page," "Wookiee Nookiee," or "The Wayne Manner," there is something here for everyone—even if only a hysterical and reference-packed break from your favorite smutty fanfic. From viral fan artists to passionate gamers, and from talented cosplayers to bookworms with overflowing comic collections, nerds are found in every demographic of modern society, making this the perfect gift for your boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, wife, brother, sister, office-mate, nerd-in-law, or any of the millions of people who proudly belong to a pop culture fandom. A comical compendium of con-friendly coitus, The Con-a-Sutra lets you boldly go where no nerd has gone before.
AvoCuddle: Comfort Words for When You're Feeling Downbeet
by XxxxxxLet your fellow human beans know that everything will be okale with this little book of upbeat and adorkable fruit puns.This cute and colorful series of fruit-pun-filled gift books are the perfect pick-me-ups for you, your friend or your partner in crime. Do you need to avocuddle, or are you grapeful for someone who’s 24 Carrot Gold? Then share the clove with these little books: AvoCuddle, and You are 24 Carrot Gold.*veg, nuts and seeds are fair game
You Are 24 Carrot Gold: Words of Love for Someone Who's Worth Their Weight in Root Vegetables
by XxxxxxThere’s always that one pearson who’s the cherry on top, the cool beans, the pea’s knees. Tell them they’re amaizeing with this little book of upbeat and adorkable fruit puns.This cute and colorful series of fruit-pun-filled gift books are the perfect pick-me-ups for you, your friend or your partner in crime. Do you need to avocuddle, or are you grapeful for someone who’s 24 carrot gold?? Then share the clove with these little books: AvoCuddle, and You are 24 Carrot Gold.*veg, nuts and seeds are fair game
Sylvia's Second Act: The hilarious, heartwarming and utterly feel-good read for 2024!
by Hillary Yablon'Hilarious, heartwarming and delightfully refreshing' CAROL KIRKWOOD'Will put a twinkle in your eye and a spring in your step. Fabulous fun!' VERONICA HENRY'Wickedly funny and utterly engaging. Sylvia is our queen!' ALEX BROWN'Joyful, feel-good fun with a feisty heroine you can't help but love!' FANNY BLAKEGrowing older doesn't just mean growing wiser.But it does mean a lot of fun...When 63-year-old Sylvia finds her husband in bed with another woman, she's shocked and furious . . . at first. But by the time her head stops spinning, Sylvia realises she hates the retirement community she's living in - it's for old people. And she certainly doesn't feel old!So, she enlists the help of her best friend, glamorous 70-year-old widow Evie, and the pair flee to Manhattan to start a new life in the city that never sleeps. Sylvia's husband may have lost her life savings, but they're scrappy and determined - and they weren't born yesterday...Before long, Sylvia is reviving her wedding planning business and even finds herself back in the dating game! And no matter what her meddling daughter thinks, it's her time now - and she's determined that in this glorious second act, the best is yet to come!Hilarious, heartwarming and utterly feel-good, Sylvia's Second Act is perfect for fans of Heartburn by Nora Ephron, Grace & Frankie, and Sex and the City. ***Praise for Sylvia's Second Act:'A feel-good read, we love Sylvia' BELLA'A first-rate novel of second chances that will have you laughing right from the start. Sylvia will show you that it's never too late to reinvent yourself, especially if you have a good friend by' STEVEN ROWLEY'Novelist Hillary Yablon gives readers hungry for a midlife romance a fizzy, delicious story we didn't know we needed. Take a bow, Sylvia, cause readers are gonna give this laugh-out-loud female buddy story made in Manhattan a standing ovation' MARY KAY ANDREWS'Sylvia's story hit all of my favorite notes - laugh out loud funny, action packed and ultimately redemptive. It's a love song to women of a certain age, and I'll be humming it for years to come' ANNABEL MONAGHAN'A gem! Every page of this book is a delight' KJ DELL'ANTONIA'I'm ready to audition real-life candidates for the Sylvia to my Evie (or the Evie to my Sylvia)... These two are living the dream and getting up to exactly the level of post-retirement fun I want to have one day. Pure delight!' MARY LAURA PHILPOTT'I'm ready to audition real-life candidates for the Sylvia to my Evie (or the Evie to my Sylvia)... These two are living the dream and getting up to exactly the level of post-retirement fun I want to have one day. Pure delight!' JESSE Q. SUTANTO
Sylvia's Second Act: The hilarious, heartwarming and utterly feel-good read for 2024!
by Hillary Yablon'Hilarious, heartwarming and delightfully refreshing' CAROL KIRKWOOD'Will put a twinkle in your eye and a spring in your step. Fabulous fun!' VERONICA HENRY'Wickedly funny and utterly engaging. Sylvia is our queen!' ALEX BROWN'Joyful, feel-good fun with a feisty heroine you can't help but love!' FANNY BLAKEGrowing older doesn't just mean growing wiser.But it does mean a lot of fun...When 63-year-old Sylvia finds her husband in bed with another woman, she's shocked and furious . . . at first. But by the time her head stops spinning, Sylvia realises she hates the retirement community she's living in - it's for old people. And she certainly doesn't feel old!So, she enlists the help of her best friend, glamorous 70-year-old widow Evie, and the pair flee to Manhattan to start a new life in the city that never sleeps. Sylvia's husband may have lost her life savings, but they're scrappy and determined - and they weren't born yesterday...Before long, Sylvia is reviving her wedding planning business and even finds herself back in the dating game! And no matter what her meddling daughter thinks, it's her time now - and she's determined that in this glorious second act, the best is yet to come!Hilarious, heartwarming and utterly feel-good, Sylvia's Second Act is perfect for fans of Heartburn by Nora Ephron, Grace & Frankie, and Sex and the City. ***Praise for Sylvia's Second Act:'A feel-good read, we love Sylvia' HEAT'A first-rate novel of second chances that will have you laughing right from the start. Sylvia will show you that it's never too late to reinvent yourself, especially if you have a good friend by' STEVEN ROWLEY'Novelist Hillary Yablon gives readers hungry for a midlife romance a fizzy, delicious story we didn't know we needed. Take a bow, Sylvia, cause readers are gonna give this laugh-out-loud female buddy story made in Manhattan a standing ovation' MARY KAY ANDREWS'Sylvia's story hit all of my favorite notes - laugh out loud funny, action packed and ultimately redemptive. It's a love song to women of a certain age, and I'll be humming it for years to come' ANNABEL MONAGHAN'A gem! Every page of this book is a delight' KJ DELL'ANTONIA'I'm ready to audition real-life candidates for the Sylvia to my Evie (or the Evie to my Sylvia)... These two are living the dream and getting up to exactly the level of post-retirement fun I want to have one day. Pure delight!' MARY LAURA PHILPOTT'I'm ready to audition real-life candidates for the Sylvia to my Evie (or the Evie to my Sylvia)... These two are living the dream and getting up to exactly the level of post-retirement fun I want to have one day. Pure delight!' JESSE Q. SUTANTO
Sylvia's Second Act: A Novel
by Hillary YablonHer husband&’s cheating on her. She hates Boca. Sylvia is mad and she isn&’t going to take it anymore. She&’s moving back north, to the city of her dreams—with her best friend, Evie, in tow. Think a screwball comedy featuring a sophisticated Thelma and Louise with martinis in hand . . .When sixty-three-year-old Sylvia finds her husband in bed with the floozy of their Boca retirement community, she&’s shocked and furious . . . at first. By the time her head stops spinning, Sylvia realizes that actually, this isn&’t what she wants anymore anyway.So she enlists her best friend, the glamorous older widow Evie, to join her in setting up a new life in Manhattan. Sylvia&’s ex-husband may have lost her life savings, but Sylvia and Evie are scrappy and determined, unopposed to pawning jewelry and roughing it in tiny apartments. And before long, Sylvia signs on to revive her decades-old wedding planning business with a former professional rival. Sylvia has a lot to prove, and beneath it all, she can&’t help but wonder: Will she ever be able to get back into the dating game?Sylvia doesn't want to be twenty-five or thirty again. Her age gives her wisdom, experience, and perspective. A career, sex, fun, and a new romance—her entire second act is stretched out in front of her, beckoning to her. It&’s her time, and watch out, world, Sylvia is coming!
Big Berry: A Little Moral Story About Gratitude
by Dan YaccarinoThere&’s nothing more important for kids entering preschool than to be emotionally ready—ready to separate from their parents, to mix and play with new children, to broaden their sense of the world. HAPPYLAND, from award-winning children&’s author Dan Yaccarino, is a new series that gives kids, and their parents, the language they need to take these emotional steps. HAPPYLAND introduces three friends—Bink, Clyde, and Glub-Glub—in a series of delightful adventures. In BIG BERRY, a story about gratitude, Bink follows a butterfly as it flits from one berry-bearing plant to the next. As the berries grow ever larger, Bink&’s desire for the biggest berry grows ever stronger—until she grabs the very largest, which is so big it rolls away and disappears. If only she&’d been happy with the normal-sized berry. Dan Yaccarino&’s bold, colorful art and simple, direct style lifts these moral stories into the realm of perfectly engaging parables.
Billy and Goat at the State Fair
by Dan YaccarinoTwo best friends visit the state fair in this tale of courage and corn dogs! Billy and Goat are best friends, but they have different styles. Billy likes to smell the roses--Goat likes to eat them! So it's no surprise that they have different ideas of how to enjoy the state fair. For Billy, the crowds and the noise are pretty intimidating. He's happy to wait in the livestock pens until the best-goat contest begins. But Goat's not one to sit when he could run. Faster than you can say butter sculpture, Goat's out of the pen and leading Billy on a merry chase past rides, games, contests, and exhibits. When Billy finally catches up to him--on the biggest float of the parade!--he's relieved, but also amazed. The fair is awesome! They may have missed Goat's chance to win best in show, but for Billy it's never been more clear--his best friend is the best goat ever!
Birthday Cake: A Little Moral Story About Sharing (Dan Yaccarino's Happyland)
by Dan YaccarinoThere&’s nothing more important for kids entering preschool than to be emotionally ready—ready to separate from their parents, to mix and play with new children, to broaden their sense of the world. HAPPYLAND, from award-winning children&’s author Dan Yaccarino, is a new series that gives kids, and their parents, the language they need to take these emotional steps. HAPPYLAND introduces three friends—Bink, Clyde, and Glub-Glub—in a series of delightful adventures. BIRTHDAY CAKE tackles the ever-important issue of sharing, as Clyde learns it&’s as much fun to give as it is to receive. Dan Yaccarino&’s bold, colorful art and simple, direct style lifts these moral stories into the realm of perfectly engaging parables.
Lawn to Lawn
by Dan YaccarinoNot everyone loves lawn ornaments. But Pearl was different. Pearl was their friend—the only human who knew they were real. So when Pearl’s family moves and (shockingly!) leaves their pink flamingo, deer, gnome, and lawn jockey behind, Flo, Betty, Norm, and Jack know what they must do. They must find Pearl no matter how long and perilous the journey. Through cities and suburbs, over mountains and through swamps, the ornaments make their dangerous way. They survive storms and menacing gargoyles. They get directions from weather vanes and other statuary. And always, always, they must avoid the dreaded trash truck! In this hysterical and quirky tale of toys-come-to-life, Dan Yaccarino reminds us that home is where the heart is and that no journey is too difficult when it leads to the one you love.
Rainy Day: A Little Moral Story About Worry (Dan Yaccarino's Happyland)
by Dan Yaccarino<p>There’s nothing more important for kids entering preschool than to be emotionally ready—ready to separate from their parents, to mix and play with new children, to broaden their sense of the world. HAPPYLAND, from award-winning children’s author Dan Yaccarino, is a new series that gives kids, and their parents, the language they need to take these emotional steps.<p> <p>HAPPYLAND introduces three friends—Bink, Clyde, and Glub-Glub—in a series of delightful adventures. In RAINY DAY, Glub-Glub worries so much about impending bad weather that he spends all day preparing—and almost misses all the fun of frolicking in the rain.<p> <p>Dan Yaccarino’s bold, colorful art and simple, direct style lifts these moral stories into the realm of perfectly engaging parables.<p>
Little Boy with a Big Horn (A Golden Classic)
by Dan Yaccarino Golden BooksPOOR OLLIE! ALL he wants is to practice playing his big bass horn, but his family can't take the noise. So off Ollie goes in a rowboat to practice offshore. That's when he realizes that the bell buoy has drifted away-and the fog is getting thick. So he stays and plays his horn as a warning to an incoming ship-and saves it from running aground! Suddenly, the mayor isgiving Ollie a medal for bravery, and best of all, the town pays for him to go to music school-where he can practice without bothering anyone!
Wish Granted: 25 Stories of Strength and Resilience from America's Favorite Athletes
by Don Yaeger“Those kids are my heroes and by actively deciding to help them continue their fight with a little more hope, you’re one of my heroes, too.”—Michael Jordan, from the IntroductionPoignant stories from this nation’s best loved athletes include Michael Jordan, Michael Phelps, John Cena, Bethany Hamilton, Danica Patrick, Tony Hawk, the New England Patriots, and many more.Imagine a seriously ill child who gets to make one wish . . . and that wish is to meet you. How would you measure up? Wish Granted shows how twenty-five of the most celebrated professional athletes of all time answered this question by sharing what it is like to transform the lives of Make-A-Wish kids. You will find out that these wishes are game changers, not just for the kids . . . for the athletes themselves. Some, like record-breaking gold medalist Michael Phelps, discover the tremendous impact wish kids have had on wish granters’ perspectives, on their understanding of real strength, and on how we all want to live our lives.Sports fans will be thrilled to get an insider’s look into the deeply personal moments of their favorite superstars, and every reader will find inspiration in the amazing gift of human connection.
Among The Janeites: A Journey Through the World of Jane Austen Fandom
by Deborah YaffeFor anyone who has ever loved a Jane Austen novel, a warm and witty look at the passionate, thriving world of Austen fandomThey walk among us in their bonnets and Empire-waist gowns, clutching their souvenir tote bags and battered paperbacks: the Janeites, Jane Austen’s legion of devoted fans. Who are these obsessed admirers, whose passion has transformed Austen from classic novelist to pop-culture phenomenon? Deborah Yaffe, journalist and Janeite, sets out to answer this question, exploring the remarkable endurance of Austen’s stories, the unusual zeal that their author inspires, and the striking cross-section of lives she has touched. Along the way, Yaffe meets a Florida lawyer with a byzantine theory about hidden subtexts in the novels, a writer of Austen fan fiction who found her own Mr. Darcy while reimagining Pride and Prejudice, and a lit professor whose roller-derby nom de skate is Stone Cold Jane Austen. Yaffe goes where Janeites gather, joining a pilgrimage to historic sites in Britain, chatting online with fellow fans, and attending the annual ball of the Jane Austen Society of North America—in period costume. Part chronicle of a vibrant literary community, part memoir of a lifelong love, Among the Janeites is a funny, touching meditation on the nature of fandom.
The Daily Lives of High School Boys 1 (The Daily Lives of High School Boys)
by Yasunobu YamauchiGut-busting antics!In this slice-of-life comedy, high schoolers Tadakuni, Yoshitake, and Hidenori tackle the wacky and awkward situations they&’re thrown into in their everyday lives! The trio do everything a normal group of high school boys would do. They play games, they tell ghost stories, and they even...wear skirts?! There&’s no shortage of witty one-liners in this knee-slapping series!
The Daily Lives of High School Boys 2 (The Daily Lives of High School Boys)
by Yasunobu YamauchiHigh school boys, be fools! Follow the bizarre adventures of Tadakuni, Hidenori and Yoshitake at the all boys, Sanada North High School.This is a high school slice of life comedy that will keep you laughing.High school boys, be fools! Follow the bizarre adventures of Tadakuni, Hidenori and Yoshitake at the all boys, Sanada North High School.This is a high school slice of life comedy that will keep you laughing.
The Daily Lives of High School Boys 3 (The Daily Lives of High School Boys)
by Yasunobu YamauchiThree Teenaged StoogesYour favorite tasteless testosterone-fueled trio takes the stage again in this third tome of topnotch tomfoolery! This time they&’ll tackle tenacious troubles, tricky moves, twisted imaginations, towers, and much more. So prepare for a triple dose of tee-hees with another trip into the lives of the (not-so-terribly) typical!
The Daily Lives of High School Boys 4 (The Daily Lives of High School Boys)
by Yasunobu YamauchiA High School Life UnimaginableAh, high school! A time of bittersweet memories, crushes, and battles against formidable insects! A time of firsts: the first time you felt disappointed by panties, the first time you choked on rice cake, learning how to ride a bike for the first time—Wait… That doesn&’t sound like high school at all. But it&’s a small sample of the hilarious hijinks and oddball occurrences that Tadakuni, Yoshitake, and Hidenori regularly experience in this fourth volume of The Daily Lives of High School Boys!
The Daily Lives of High School Boys 5 (The Daily Lives of High School Boys)
by Yasunobu YamauchiSilly Times at Sanada North HighThey were teenagers living the humdrum life of Japanese high school boys. By day, they were a four-eyed geek with daddy issues, a ditzy goofball who can&’t stop saying &“surreal,&” and…another boy who barely shows up in the story, but when the final school bell rang, they were…still those people. Enjoy more rollicking inanity as Tadakuni, Yoshitake, and Hidenori continue to experience adolescent awkwardness, antiquated can-based games, and more—all backed by a killer rock score (in your head).To the outside world, their lives were simply absurd marks on paper that some may call &“manga,&” but to each other, this was simply The Daily Lives of High School Boys.
The Daily Lives of High School Boys 6 (The Daily Lives of High School Boys)
by Yasunobu YamauchiMad Lads20XX. Japan is a barren wasteland, and mankind is governed by lawlessness. But in these grim times, a hero shall arise! Known to many as Tadakuni Il Combattante, he journeys in the name of justice with his fellow fighters, Yoshitake and Hidenori, to right wrongs and bring hope to a world drowning in darkness.In this sixth installment of Tadakuni&’s adventures, Il Combattante and his comrades expose untruths, prove their mettle as men, and risk their lives for...sausage?Wait...no—they&’re just ordinary Japanese high school boys with a lot of time on their hands. And their hijinks continue in the latest volume of The Daily Lives of High School Boys!