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The Unit: A Novel
by Ninni HolmqvistOne day in early spring, Dorrit Weger is checked into the Second Reserve Bank Unit for biological material. She is promised a nicely furnished apartment inside the Unit, where she will make new friends, enjoy the state of the art recreation facilities, and live the few remaining days of her life in comfort with people who are just like her. Here, women over the age of fifty and men over sixty-single, childless, and without jobs in progressive industries-are sequestered for their final few years; they are considered outsiders. In the Unit they are expected to contribute themselves for drug and psychological testing, and ultimately donate their organs, little by little, until the final donation. Despite the ruthless nature of this practice, the ethos of this near-future society and the Unit is to take care of others, and Dorrit finds herself living under very pleasant conditions: well-housed, well-fed, and well-attended. She is resigned to her fate and discovers her days there to be rather consoling and peaceful. But when she meets a man inside the Unit and falls in love, the extraordinary becomes a reality and life suddenly turns unbearable. Dorrit is faced with compliance or escape, and...well, then what? THE UNIT is a gripping exploration of a society in the throes of an experiment, in which the "dispensable" ones are convinced under gentle coercion of the importance of sacrificing for the "necessary" ones. Ninni Holmqvist has created a debut novel of humor, sorrow, and rage about love, the close bonds of friendship, and about a cynical, utilitarian way of thinking disguised as care.
King of Dead Things
by Nevin HolnessFor fans of Legendborn, Neil Gaiman, and Leigh Bardugo, this urban young adult fantasy steeped in Afro-Carribbean folklore follows two Black teens searching for a powerful artifact in the hidden magical side of London. Raising the dead is easy. Living is harder. Eli doesn&’t know who he is or who he came from. Three years ago, he was found by his now-best friends, Sunny and Max, who gave him a home in a magical sanctuary doubling as a Caribbean restaurant. What Eli does know is that he can heal a wound with just a touch and pluck magic from a soul like a petal from a flower—and there is nothing he wouldn&’t do to survive and keep his new family together. Malcolm would do anything to forget where he comes from. Desperate to escape his estranged father&’s shadow and plagued with an inherited death magic he doesn&’t fully understand, Malcolm has just one priority: save his mother, no matter the cost. Malcolm and Eli&’s paths collide when Eli and his friends are sent to track down the fang of the leopard god Osebo, a deadly weapon that can eat magic. In a job filled with enigmatic nine nights and Caribbean legends, the teens must face their own demons as they race through the magical underbelly of London to retrieve the fang…before an ancient and malevolent power comes back to life.
So You Wanna Run a Country?: A Novel
by Kevin HolohanA satirical cyberpunk romp pitting fascist feudalism against rampant reality television corruption, with the future of humanity at stake "Holohan's prose pops and crackles as he combines an outlandish yet convincing vision of a tech-dominated future reminiscent of William Gibson with the wry wit of Neil Gaiman, and the result proves exceedingly funny . . . Holohan's silly dystopia, replete with ridiculous place names ("Newer York" and "Grander Central Station") and winking acronyms ("Consumer-Responsive Unscripted Drama"), strikes an utterly enjoyable medium between Futurama and Infinite Jest . . . A raucous, engrossing, unsettling whirlwind of a story that is as disarmingly novel as it is disturbingly familiar." —Kirkus Reviews So You Wanna Run a Country? is a satirical parable of the perils of authoritarianism, nationalism, and device-dependent group-think. After almost a century of being shut off from the rest of the world in self-imposed isolation, the neo-medieval statelet of Inner Azhuur suddenly volunteers to host the next season of the global streaming sensation So You Wanna Run a Country? The producers must now assemble the next crew of unqualified misfits whose ineptitude as they attempt to run the country will entertain billions across the globe. From Newer York, where homelessness has been eliminated by rebranding it as a Thoroughfarian lifestyle choice, come Mooney and Wendy who meet while sleeping in discarded pipes on a vacant lot—one seemingly directed by Captain Dude, a statue attached to a skateboard, and one on the run after deliberately crashing a large chunk of the speculative economy. Cast as Regent of Inner Azhuur and Consort to the Regent, they are joined by Skid, a Dubliner kicked out of his fledgling band and eager to escape a stultifying job as a tourist ambiance fake street menace in Glasgow. Arriving in Inner Azhuur, these three encounter a world of antiquated and indecipherable customs, all meant to glorify the vanished ruler, General D'Izmaie, and return Inner Azhuur to some perceived former glory. As the reality show unfolds, our misfits are enmeshed in a mad power grab of overweening global ambition and find themselves in a struggle against the all-too-real, ruthless and sinister power brokers of Inner Azhuur. Holohan's mischievous literary voice is sure to please fans of cyberpunk greats like Philip K. Dick and William Gibson.
The Effort
by Claire HolroydeFor readers of Station Eleven and Good Morning, Midnight comes an electric, heart-pounding novel of love and sacrifice that follows people around the world as they unite to prevent a global catastrophe.When dark comet UD3 was spotted near Jupiter's orbit, its existence was largely ignored. But to individuals who knew better -- scientists like Benjamin Schwartz, manager of NASA's Center for Near-Earth Object Studies -- the threat this eight-kilometer comet posed to the survival of the human race was unthinkable. The 150-million-year reign of the dinosaurs ended when an asteroid impact generated more than a billiontimes the energy of an atomic bomb. What would happen to Earth's seven billion inhabitants if a similar event were allowed to occur? Ben and his indomitable girlfriend Amy Kowalski fly to South America to assemble an international counteraction team, whose notable recruits include Love Mwangi, a UN interpreter and nomad scholar, and Zhen Liu, an extraordinary engineer from China's national space agency. At the same time, on board a polar icebreaker life continues under the looming shadow of comet UD3. Jack Campbell, a photographer for National Geographic, works to capture the beauty of the Arctic before it is gone forever. Gustavo Wayãpi, a Nobel Laureate poet from Brazil, struggles to accept the recent murder of his beloved twin brother. And Maya Gutiérrez, an impassioned marine biologist is -- quite unexpectedly -- falling in love for the first time. Together, these men and women must fight to survive in an unknown future with no rules and nothing to be taken for granted. They have two choices: neutralize the greatest threat the world has ever seen (preferably before mass hysteria hits or world leaders declare World War III) or come to terms with the annihilation of humanity itself. Their mission is codenamed The Effort.
A Burnable Book: A Novel
by Bruce HolsingerIn Chaucer's London, betrayal, murder, royal intrigue, mystery, and dangerous politics swirl around the existence of a prophetic book that foretells the deaths of England's kings. Bruce Holsinger's A Burnable Book is an irresistible historical thriller reminiscent of the classics An Instance of the Fingerpost, The Name of the Rose, and The Crimson Petal and the White.London, 1385. Surrounded by ruthless courtiers—including his powerful uncle, John of Gaunt, and Gaunt's artful mistress, Katherine Swynford—England's young, still untested king, Richard II, is in mortal peril, and the danger is only beginning. Songs are heard across London—catchy verses said to originate from an ancient book that prophesies the end of England's kings—and among the book's predictions is Richard's assassination.Only a few powerful men know that the cryptic lines derive from a "burnable book," a seditious work that threatens the stability of the realm. To find the manuscript, wily bureaucrat Geoffrey Chaucer turns to fellow poet John Gower, a professional trader in information with connections high and low. Gower discovers that the book and incriminating evidence about its author have fallen into the unwitting hands of innocents, who will be drawn into a labyrinthine conspiracy that reaches from the king's court to London's slums and stews—and potentially implicates his own son. As the intrigue deepens, it becomes clear that Gower, a man with secrets of his own, may be the last hope to save a king from a terrible fate.Medieval scholar Bruce Holsinger draws on his vast knowledge of the period to add colorful, authentic detail—on everything from poetry and bookbinding to court intrigues and brothels—to this highly entertaining and brilliantly constructed epic literary mystery that brings medieval England gloriously to life.
The Vanishing (Last Dogs #1)
by Christopher HoltWhen all the humans in his world disappear, Max, a yellow Labrador Retriever, begins the search for his family. He knows that if he can just find Madame Curie, a wise, old black Lab, she'll be able to help. Madame had a premonition of astonishing events to come -- she might know where Max's family is. But Max can't make the journey alone. Joined by friends Rocky and Gizmo, Max sets off to find Madame. Along the way, the trio must face a pack of angry wolves, forage for food in a land where kibble is akin to gold, befriend a house full of cats, and outsmart a gang of subway rats. Ultimately, they'll have to escape from the biggest threat of all: the Corporation, a "perfect" society for dogs and by dogs, where nothing is quite as it seems.The Last Dogs: The Vanishing is a thrilling adventure and a tale of three unlikely friends on an epic quest to find their people -- and bring them home.
After Houdini
by Jeremy HoltIn this action-adventure graphic novel, Harry Houdini, master magician and spy, has been kidnapped, and only his estranged—and gifted—son can save him. Josef Houdini takes after his father: A gifted escape artist, there’s not a jam he can’t get himself out of. Then again, when your father is one of the greatest illusionists of all time, that comes as no surprise. What does come as a surprise is the fact that Harry Houdini is not only the world’s greatest magician, but also a top-secret operative for the U.S. government during World War I. In rare form he finds himself trapped—stuck on a mission he is unable to escape from. That’s why the government needs his son to fill his shoes and complete the mission—but does Josef have the wherewithal to do it? Or is the possibility of success just an illusion?Packed with intrigue, suspense, and fantasy, After Houdini is a revisionist look at one of history’s most mysterious figures that is sure to take readers on a journey they’ll never forget.“After Houdini is a thrilling and imaginative journey into the world of magic. Holt’s love for the craft is clear: After Houdini is teeming with colorful characters and their illusions from the pages of magic history—a joy for any magic lover!” —David Kwong, magician and New York Times crossword constructor
Skip to the End
by Jeremy Holt Alex Diotto Renzo Podesta Adam Wollet“A deeply intimate story . . . a slice-of-life comic, an adventure comic and a music comic all rolled into one, born out of a love for all three.” —Paste MagazineBassist-turned-junkie Jonny Wells is addicted to his past, and the only way to get there is through the music.The bassist of a breakout ’90s punk band, Jonny falls apart when his band mate and best friend Kirk commits suicide. Twenty years later he struggles with heroin addiction, lost in the songs they created and desperate to relive the past, when he discovers that he can—literally. With the aid of a mysterious guitar, Jonny begins to make trips back in time, searching for the roots of Kirk’s unraveling. At Nar-Anon meetings and in conversations with his sponsor Emily, he starts to cope with the events that led to Kirk’s death. But by the time Jonny realizes that his visits can’t change the present, he might be too addicted to stop.“Artistically, the book is a master class on beauty and style . . . From the initial title page to the end of the story, Artist Alex Diotto, Colorist Renzo Podesta, and Letterer Adam Wollet, prove themselves to be masters of their craft and the passion for their work is easily witnessed.” —Comic Crusaders“Writer of indie comics Pulp and Southern Dog, Jeremy Holt slays on the script for Skip to the End.” —Undercover Capes“A graphic novel worthy of spiritual preparation, deserving of one’s wholehearted attention where the finer details are meticulously observed.” —XS Noize
Mike Stellar: Nerves of Steel
by K. A. HoltBlast off to deep-space adventure and hijinks! Things are not so stellar for Mike Stellar. He is stunned when his parents inform him that he has only eight hours to pack before they move to Mars. Despite the fact that he suspects his parents are involved in a major sabotage plot; that the only person who believes him is a girl who won’t shut up; and that his mother’s assistant seems to be spying on Mike’s every move, Mike is dealing with the same things that every eleven-year-old deals with: bad cafeteria food, a strict limitation on his electronic use, and a teacher who is so old-fashioned she must be from the year 2099. With great humor and lots of action, K. A. Holt’s first novel is set to give summer reading an out-of-this-world blast of fun. From the Hardcover edition.
Red Moon Rising
by K. A. HoltSpace-farmer Rae Darling is kidnapped and trained to become a warrior against her own people in this adventurous middle grade space western.Rae Darling and her family are colonists on a moon so obscure it doesn't merit a name. Life is hard, water is scarce, and the farm work she does is grueling. But Rae and her sister Temple are faced with an added complication--being girls is a serious liability in their strict society. Even worse, the Cheese--the colonists' name for the native people on the moon--sometimes kidnap girls from the human colony. And when Rae's impetuous actions disrupt the fragile peace, the Cheese come for her and Temple. Though Rae and Temple are captives in the Cheese society, they are shocked to discover a community full of kindness and acceptance. Where the human colonists subjugated women, the Cheese train the girls to become fierce warriors. Over time, Temple forgets her past and becomes one of the Cheese, but Rae continues to wonder where her loyalties truly lie. When her training is up, will she really be able to raid her former colony? Can she kidnap other girls, even if she might be recruiting them to a better life? When a Cheese raid goes wrong and the humans retaliate, Rae's loyalty is put to the ultimate test. Can Rae find a way to restore peace--and preserve both sides of herself?
Eden's Fire
by Samantha HoltA god. A mortal. A treacherous journey that will bind their hearts forever. Lonely and cast out of society, Eden gets a visit from Tyondric, God of Fire, in answer to a prayer. Gods can only appear once in a person's lifetime, so when he returns a second and third time, she knows her life will never be the same. When the beautiful god reveals Eden is The Pure Soul--the only one who can close the gate to the heavens and prevent the evil in Ananthuria from spreading--their relationship gets complicated. Ty is willing to break every rule to save the world. And to save Eden. As they set out on their dangerous journey to the gate Eden is kissed by the god. It's then she realizes Ty holds the power to break through every wall she's erected around herself and force his way into her heart. But what will happen when they close the gate and the world returns to normal? Can a mortal and a god ever be together? And with an evil lord on their trail, will they even succeed? CONTENT WARNING: Contains sensually erotic scenes, a snarky heroine and a gorgeous god.32,419 Words
Alexander At The World's End
by Tom Holt'Wry and droll, fascinating and funny, by bringing us Alexander's nether parts this novel gives momentous matters unforgettable life' - Ross Leckie'Witty, ironic ... and achieves a deeply felt authenticity' - NEW YORK TIMESWhen his father dies, and he is reduced at a stroke from prosperity to penury, Euxenus decides to leave Athens and seek his fortune elsewhere. As a philosopher and intellectual of some note, he has no difficulty getting a job as tutor to a young prince in the wealthy but utterly provincial court of King Philip of Macedon. The young prince is called Alexander, and the rest is history. Or is it? Alexander conquered Greece, Egypt and the Persian Empire in the course of eight years, amassing a huge army along the way, and leaving behind him the foundations of countless new cities named after him. He proclaimed himself a deity, and died at the age of 33. In ALEXANDER AT THE WORLD'S END, Tom Holt tells the story of two remarkable men, one of whom conquered empires and one of whom struggled to overcome the drainage problems of a small village. It is a story of two men whose paths crossed only briefly, but whose encounter changed both their lives for ever. And it is a story which throws an extraordinary new light on the man who became Alexander the Great.Books by Tom Holt:Walled Orchard SeriesGoatsongThe Walled OrchardJ.W. Wells & Co. SeriesThe Portable DoorIn Your DreamsEarth, Air, Fire and CustardYou Don't Have to Be Evil to Work Here, But It HelpsThe Better MousetrapMay Contain Traces of MagicLife, Liberty and the Pursuit of SausagesYouSpace SeriesDoughnutWhen It's A JarThe Outsorcerer's ApprenticeThe Good, the Bad and the SmugNovelsExpecting Someone TallerWho's Afraid of BeowulfFlying DutchYe Gods!OvertimeHere Comes the SunGrailblazersFaust Among EqualsOdds and GodsDjinn RummyMy HeroPaint your DragonOpen SesameWish you Were HereAlexander at World's EndOnly HumanSnow White and the Seven SamuraiOlympiadValhallaNothing But Blue SkiesFalling SidewaysLittle PeopleSong for NeroMeadowlandBarkingBlonde BombshellThe Management Style of the Supreme BeingsAn Orc on the Wild Side
Barking
by Tom HoltDuncan's boss doesn't think he's cut out to be a lawyer. He isn't a pack animal. He lacks the killer instinct. But when his best friend from school barges his way back into Duncan's life, along with a full supporting cast of lawyers, ex-wives, zombies, and snow-white unicorns, it's not long before things become distinctly unsettling. Hairy, even.
Barking
by Tom Holt'Tom Holt may be the most imaginative satirist to land on our shores since Douglas Adams' - Christopher Moore'Holt has a zany humor that will appeal to fans of Terry Pratchett and Christopher Moore.' - Library JournalMonsters are roaming the streets of London. Of course, some monsters are scarier than others:Unicorns? No bother.Vampires? Big deal.Werewolves? Ho hum.Lawyers? ... Aaargh!Duncan's boss doesn't think that he's cut out to be a lawyer. He isn't a pack animal. He lacks the killer instinct. But when his best friend from school barges his way back into Duncan's life, with a full supporting cast of lawyers, ex-wives, zombies and snow-white unicorns, it's not long before things become distinctly unsettling. Hairy, even.Tom Holt's latest comic novel is a rollercoaster ride of supernatural silliness and biting satire.Books by Tom Holt: Walled Orchard Series Goatsong The Walled Orchard J.W. Wells & Co. Series The Portable Door In Your Dreams Earth, Air, Fire and Custard You Don't Have to Be Evil to Work Here, But It Helps The Better Mousetrap May Contain Traces of Magic Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Sausages YouSpace Series Doughnut When It's A Jar The Outsorcerer's Apprentice The Good, the Bad and the Smug Novels Expecting Someone Taller Who's Afraid of Beowulf Flying Dutch Ye Gods! Overtime Here Comes the Sun Grailblazers Faust Among Equals Odds and Gods Djinn Rummy My Hero Paint your Dragon Open Sesame Wish you Were Here Alexander at World's End Only Human Snow White and the Seven Samurai Olympiad Valhalla Nothing But Blue Skies Falling SidewaysLittle PeopleSong for NeroMeadowlandBarkingBlonde BombshellThe Management Style of the Supreme BeingsAn Orc on the Wild Side
Barking
by Tom Holt'Tom Holt may be the most imaginative satirist to land on our shores since Douglas Adams' - Christopher Moore'Holt has a zany humor that will appeal to fans of Terry Pratchett and Christopher Moore.' - Library JournalMonsters are roaming the streets of London. Of course, some monsters are scarier than others:Unicorns? No bother.Vampires? Big deal.Werewolves? Ho hum.Lawyers? ... Aaargh!Duncan's boss doesn't think that he's cut out to be a lawyer. He isn't a pack animal. He lacks the killer instinct. But when his best friend from school barges his way back into Duncan's life, with a full supporting cast of lawyers, ex-wives, zombies and snow-white unicorns, it's not long before things become distinctly unsettling. Hairy, even.Tom Holt's latest comic novel is a rollercoaster ride of supernatural silliness and biting satire.Books by Tom Holt: Walled Orchard Series Goatsong The Walled Orchard J.W. Wells & Co. Series The Portable Door In Your Dreams Earth, Air, Fire and Custard You Don't Have to Be Evil to Work Here, But It Helps The Better Mousetrap May Contain Traces of Magic Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Sausages YouSpace Series Doughnut When It's A Jar The Outsorcerer's Apprentice The Good, the Bad and the Smug Novels Expecting Someone Taller Who's Afraid of Beowulf Flying Dutch Ye Gods! Overtime Here Comes the Sun Grailblazers Faust Among Equals Odds and Gods Djinn Rummy My Hero Paint your Dragon Open Sesame Wish you Were Here Alexander at World's End Only Human Snow White and the Seven Samurai Olympiad Valhalla Nothing But Blue Skies Falling SidewaysLittle PeopleSong for NeroMeadowlandBarkingBlonde BombshellThe Management Style of the Supreme BeingsAn Orc on the Wild Side
Barking
by Tom Holt'Tom Holt may be the most imaginative satirist to land on our shores since Douglas Adams' - Christopher Moore'Holt has a zany humor that will appeal to fans of Terry Pratchett and Christopher Moore.' - Library JournalMonsters are roaming the streets of London. Of course, some monsters are scarier than others:Unicorns? No bother.Vampires? Big deal.Werewolves? Ho hum.Lawyers? ... Aaargh!Duncan's boss doesn't think that he's cut out to be a lawyer. He isn't a pack animal. He lacks the killer instinct. But when his best friend from school barges his way back into Duncan's life, with a full supporting cast of lawyers, ex-wives, zombies and snow-white unicorns, it's not long before things become distinctly unsettling. Hairy, even.Tom Holt's latest comic novel is a rollercoaster ride of supernatural silliness and biting satire.Books by Tom Holt:Walled Orchard SeriesGoatsongThe Walled OrchardJ.W. Wells & Co. SeriesThe Portable DoorIn Your DreamsEarth, Air, Fire and CustardYou Don't Have to Be Evil to Work Here, But It HelpsThe Better MousetrapMay Contain Traces of MagicLife, Liberty and the Pursuit of SausagesYouSpace SeriesDoughnutWhen It's A JarThe Outsorcerer's ApprenticeThe Good, the Bad and the SmugNovelsExpecting Someone TallerWho's Afraid of BeowulfFlying DutchYe Gods!OvertimeHere Comes the SunGrailblazersFaust Among EqualsOdds and GodsDjinn RummyMy HeroPaint your DragonOpen SesameWish you Were HereAlexander at World's EndOnly HumanSnow White and the Seven SamuraiOlympiadValhallaNothing But Blue SkiesFalling SidewaysLittle PeopleSong for NeroMeadowlandBarkingBlonde BombshellThe Management Style of the Supreme BeingsAn Orc on the Wild Side
The Better Mousetrap
by Tom HoltIt touches all our lives-our triumphs and tragedies, our proudest achievements, our most traumatic disasters. Alloyed of love and fear, death and fire, and the inscrutable acts of the gods, insurance is indeed the force that binds the universe together. Hardly surprising, therefore, that Frank Carpenter, one of the foremost magical practitioners of our age, felt himself irresistibly drawn to it. Until, that is, he met Jane, a high-flying corporate heroine with an annoying habit of falling out of trees and getting killed. Repeatedly. It's not long before Frank and Jane find themselves face to face with the greatest enigma of our times: When is a door not a door? When it's a mousetrap.
The Better Mousetrap: J.W. Wells & Co. Book 5
by Tom Holt'Tom Holt's comic fantasy is a great, uplifting read, fit to grace any reader's book collection' - Waterstones Books Quarterly'Holt's quirky characters and whimsical voice successfully infuse life into this entertaining romantic comedy' - Publishers WeeklyIt touches all our lives; our triumphs and tragedies, our proudest achievements, our most traumatic disasters. Alloyed of love and fear, death and fire and the inscrutable acts of the gods, insurance is indeed the force that binds the universe together.Hardly surprising, therefore, that Frank Carpenter, one of the foremost magical practitioners of our age, felt himself irresistibly drawn to it. Until, that is, he met Jane, a high-flying corporate heroine with an annoying habit of falling out of trees and getting killed. Repeatedly.It's not long before Frank and Jane find themselves face to face with the greatest enigma of our times: When is a door not a door? When it's a mousetrap.A madcap comic fantasy from one of Britain's funniest writers.Books by Tom Holt: Walled Orchard Series Goatsong The Walled Orchard J.W. Wells & Co. Series The Portable Door In Your Dreams Earth, Air, Fire and Custard You Don't Have to Be Evil to Work Here, But It Helps The Better Mousetrap May Contain Traces of Magic Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Sausages YouSpace Series Doughnut When It's A Jar The Outsorcerer's Apprentice The Good, the Bad and the Smug Novels Expecting Someone Taller Who's Afraid of Beowulf Flying Dutch Ye Gods! Overtime Here Comes the Sun Grailblazers Faust Among Equals Odds and Gods Djinn Rummy My Hero Paint your Dragon Open Sesame Wish you Were Here Alexander at World's End Only Human Snow White and the Seven Samurai Olympiad Valhalla Nothing But Blue Skies Falling SidewaysLittle PeopleSong for NeroMeadowlandBarkingBlonde BombshellThe Management Style of the Supreme BeingsAn Orc on the Wild Side
The Better Mousetrap: J.W. Wells & Co. Book 5 (J.W. Wells & Co. #5)
by Tom Holt'Tom Holt's comic fantasy is a great, uplifting read, fit to grace any reader's book collection' - Waterstones Books Quarterly'Holt's quirky characters and whimsical voice successfully infuse life into this entertaining romantic comedy' - Publishers WeeklyIt touches all our lives; our triumphs and tragedies, our proudest achievements, our most traumatic disasters. Alloyed of love and fear, death and fire and the inscrutable acts of the gods, insurance is indeed the force that binds the universe together.Hardly surprising, therefore, that Frank Carpenter, one of the foremost magical practitioners of our age, felt himself irresistibly drawn to it. Until, that is, he met Jane, a high-flying corporate heroine with an annoying habit of falling out of trees and getting killed. Repeatedly.It's not long before Frank and Jane find themselves face to face with the greatest enigma of our times: When is a door not a door? When it's a mousetrap.A madcap comic fantasy from one of Britain's funniest writers.Books by Tom Holt: Walled Orchard Series Goatsong The Walled Orchard J.W. Wells & Co. Series The Portable Door In Your Dreams Earth, Air, Fire and Custard You Don't Have to Be Evil to Work Here, But It Helps The Better Mousetrap May Contain Traces of Magic Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Sausages YouSpace Series Doughnut When It's A Jar The Outsorcerer's Apprentice The Good, the Bad and the Smug Novels Expecting Someone Taller Who's Afraid of Beowulf Flying Dutch Ye Gods! Overtime Here Comes the Sun Grailblazers Faust Among Equals Odds and Gods Djinn Rummy My Hero Paint your Dragon Open Sesame Wish you Were Here Alexander at World's End Only Human Snow White and the Seven Samurai Olympiad Valhalla Nothing But Blue Skies Falling SidewaysLittle PeopleSong for NeroMeadowlandBarkingBlonde BombshellThe Management Style of the Supreme BeingsAn Orc on the Wild Side
Blonde Bombshell: A Heartwarming Tale Of Armageddon
by Tom HoltThe year is 2017. Lucy Pavlov is the CEO of PavSoft Industries, home of a revolutionary operating system that every computer in the world runs on. Her personal wealth is immeasurable, her intelligence is unfathomable, and she's been voted World's Most Beautiful Woman for three years running. To put it simply - she has it all. But not everything is quite right in Lucy's life. For starters, she has no memories prior to 2015. She also keeps having run-ins with a unicorn. And to make matters even worse, a bomb is hurtling through interstellar space, headed straight for Lucy - and the planet known as Earth.
Blonde Bombshell: A Heartwarming Tale Of Armageddon
by Tom Holt'As you'd expect from Holt, Blonde Bombshell is rife with puns, complicated setups for ridiculous gags, and a riveting story that is completely implausible.' - Booklist'BLONDE BOMBSHELL is a clever, funny, tirelessly inventive, apocalyptic leg-hump of a book. Tom Holt may be the most imaginative satirist to land on our shores since Douglas Adams' - Christopher MooreA heart-warming tale of Armageddon from one of the funniest, most original voices in comic fiction today . . .The third planet out from the star was blue, with green splodges. Dirt.Oh, the bomb thought. And then its courage, determination and nobility-of-spirit subroutines cut in, overriding everything else, adrenalizing its command functions and bypassing its cyberphrenetic nodes. Here goes, said the bomb to itself. Calibrate navigational pod. Engage primary thrusters. Ready auxiliary drive. It knew, in that moment, that its own doom was near; because it was giving itself orders, and it wasn't putting in any 'the's. That was what you did, apparently, when the moment came. You could also turn on a flashing red beacon and a siren, but mercifully these were optional.Oh #/$+! thought the bomb, and surged on towards Dirt like an avenging angel.Perfect for fans of Douglas Adams, BLONDE BOMBSHELL is the science fiction debut from Tom Holt - one of the best-loved comic writers in fantasy fiction.Books by Tom Holt: Walled Orchard Series Goatsong The Walled Orchard J.W. Wells & Co. Series The Portable Door In Your Dreams Earth, Air, Fire and Custard You Don't Have to Be Evil to Work Here, But It Helps The Better Mousetrap May Contain Traces of Magic Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Sausages YouSpace Series Doughnut When It's A Jar The Outsorcerer's Apprentice The Good, the Bad and the Smug Novels Expecting Someone Taller Who's Afraid of Beowulf Flying Dutch Ye Gods! Overtime Here Comes the Sun Grailblazers Faust Among Equals Odds and Gods Djinn Rummy My Hero Paint your Dragon Open Sesame Wish you Were Here Alexander at World's End Only Human Snow White and the Seven Samurai Olympiad Valhalla Nothing But Blue Skies Falling SidewaysLittle PeopleSong for NeroMeadowlandBarkingBlonde BombshellThe Management Style of the Supreme BeingsAn Orc on the Wild Side
Blonde Bombshell: A Heartwarming Tale Of Armageddon
by Tom Holt'As you'd expect from Holt, Blonde Bombshell is rife with puns, complicated setups for ridiculous gags, and a riveting story that is completely implausible.' - Booklist'BLONDE BOMBSHELL is a clever, funny, tirelessly inventive, apocalyptic leg-hump of a book. Tom Holt may be the most imaginative satirist to land on our shores since Douglas Adams' - Christopher MooreA heart-warming tale of Armageddon from one of the funniest, most original voices in comic fiction today . . .The third planet out from the star was blue, with green splodges. Dirt.Oh, the bomb thought. And then its courage, determination and nobility-of-spirit subroutines cut in, overriding everything else, adrenalizing its command functions and bypassing its cyberphrenetic nodes. Here goes, said the bomb to itself. Calibrate navigational pod. Engage primary thrusters. Ready auxiliary drive. It knew, in that moment, that its own doom was near; because it was giving itself orders, and it wasn't putting in any 'the's. That was what you did, apparently, when the moment came. You could also turn on a flashing red beacon and a siren, but mercifully these were optional.Oh #/$+! thought the bomb, and surged on towards Dirt like an avenging angel.Perfect for fans of Douglas Adams, BLONDE BOMBSHELL is the science fiction debut from Tom Holt - one of the best-loved comic writers in fantasy fiction.Books by Tom Holt: Walled Orchard Series Goatsong The Walled Orchard J.W. Wells & Co. Series The Portable Door In Your Dreams Earth, Air, Fire and Custard You Don't Have to Be Evil to Work Here, But It Helps The Better Mousetrap May Contain Traces of Magic Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Sausages YouSpace Series Doughnut When It's A Jar The Outsorcerer's Apprentice The Good, the Bad and the Smug Novels Expecting Someone Taller Who's Afraid of Beowulf Flying Dutch Ye Gods! Overtime Here Comes the Sun Grailblazers Faust Among Equals Odds and Gods Djinn Rummy My Hero Paint your Dragon Open Sesame Wish you Were Here Alexander at World's End Only Human Snow White and the Seven Samurai Olympiad Valhalla Nothing But Blue Skies Falling SidewaysLittle PeopleSong for NeroMeadowlandBarkingBlonde BombshellThe Management Style of the Supreme BeingsAn Orc on the Wild Side
Blonde Bombshell
by Tom Holt'As you'd expect from Holt, Blonde Bombshell is rife with puns, complicated setups for ridiculous gags, and a riveting story that is completely implausible.' - Booklist'BLONDE BOMBSHELL is a clever, funny, tirelessly inventive, apocalyptic leg-hump of a book. Tom Holt may be the most imaginative satirist to land on our shores since Douglas Adams' - Christopher MooreA heart-warming tale of Armageddon from one of the funniest, most original voices in comic fiction today . . .The third planet out from the star was blue, with green splodges. Dirt.Oh, the bomb thought. And then its courage, determination and nobility-of-spirit subroutines cut in, overriding everything else, adrenalizing its command functions and bypassing its cyberphrenetic nodes. Here goes, said the bomb to itself. Calibrate navigational pod. Engage primary thrusters. Ready auxiliary drive. It knew, in that moment, that its own doom was near; because it was giving itself orders, and it wasn't putting in any 'the's. That was what you did, apparently, when the moment came. You could also turn on a flashing red beacon and a siren, but mercifully these were optional.Oh #/$+! thought the bomb, and surged on towards Dirt like an avenging angel.Perfect for fans of Douglas Adams, BLONDE BOMBSHELL is the science fiction debut from Tom Holt - one of the best-loved comic writers in fantasy fiction.Books by Tom Holt:Walled Orchard SeriesGoatsongThe Walled OrchardJ.W. Wells & Co. SeriesThe Portable DoorIn Your DreamsEarth, Air, Fire and CustardYou Don't Have to Be Evil to Work Here, But It HelpsThe Better MousetrapMay Contain Traces of MagicLife, Liberty and the Pursuit of SausagesYouSpace SeriesDoughnutWhen It's A JarThe Outsorcerer's ApprenticeThe Good, the Bad and the SmugNovelsExpecting Someone TallerWho's Afraid of BeowulfFlying DutchYe Gods!OvertimeHere Comes the SunGrailblazersFaust Among EqualsOdds and GodsDjinn RummyMy HeroPaint your DragonOpen SesameWish you Were HereAlexander at World's EndOnly HumanSnow White and the Seven SamuraiOlympiadValhallaNothing But Blue SkiesFalling SidewaysLittle PeopleSong for NeroMeadowlandBarkingBlonde BombshellThe Management Style of the Supreme BeingsAn Orc on the Wild Side
Djinn Rummy
by Tom HoltWhen Kayaguchiya Integrated Circuits III, a genie, is released from the aspirin bottle he's been stuck in for 14 years, there's bound to be trouble. Jane had wanted to end her life in peace, but now she's got a genie, things look up - until the apocalypse rears its ugly head.
Djinn Rummy
by Tom Holt'An excellent book.' - INTERZONEWhen Kayaguchiya Integrated Circuits III, a genie, is released from the aspirin bottle he's been stuck in for 14 years, there's bound to be trouble. Jane had wanted to end her life in peace, but now she's got a genie, things look up - until the apocalypse rears its ugly head.From one of the best-loved comic writers in fantasy fiction comes another absurdly witty title - perfect for fans of Douglas Adams or Terry PratchettBooks by Tom Holt: Walled Orchard Series Goatsong The Walled Orchard J.W. Wells & Co. Series The Portable Door In Your Dreams Earth, Air, Fire and Custard You Don't Have to Be Evil to Work Here, But It Helps The Better Mousetrap May Contain Traces of Magic Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Sausages YouSpace Series Doughnut When It's A Jar The Outsorcerer's Apprentice The Good, the Bad and the Smug Novels Expecting Someone Taller Who's Afraid of Beowulf Flying Dutch Ye Gods! Overtime Here Comes the Sun Grailblazers Faust Among Equals Odds and Gods Djinn Rummy My Hero Paint your Dragon Open Sesame Wish you Were Here Alexander at World's End Only Human Snow White and the Seven Samurai Olympiad Valhalla Nothing But Blue Skies Falling SidewaysLittle PeopleSong for NeroMeadowlandBarkingBlonde BombshellThe Management Style of the Supreme BeingsAn Orc on the Wild Side