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0 To Bitch In 10 Seconds Or Less: Quips and Comebacks for Quick-Witted Women

by Amy Hatch

Wonderfully witty wisdom such as: Anything's possible if you've got enough nerve. J.K. Rowling A kiss can be a comma, a question mark, or an exclamation point. That's basic spelling that every woman ought to know. Mistinguette Life is hard. After all, it kills you. Katharine Hepburn Even I don't look like Cindy Crawford when I wake up in the morning. Cindy Crawford The average girl would rather have beauty than brains because she knows how the average man can see much better than he can think. Anonymous And many more!

100 Great Operas and Their Stories: Act-by-Act Synopses

by Henry W. Simon

An invaluable guide for both casual opera fans and afficionados, this volume contains act-by-act descriptions of operatic works ranging from the early seventeenth century masterworks of Monteverdi and Purcell to the modern classics of Menotti and Britten. Written in a lively anecdotal style, entries include character descriptions, historical background, and much more.

1000 Songs to Change Your Life

by Time Out Guides

Like 1,000 Films and 1,000 Books, 1,000 Songs to Change Your Life, the third book in the series, is a celebration of music's transformative power: how it shocks and soothes, frightens and comforts, amuses and appalls, but above all how it moves us, perhaps when we least expect it. Over the course of more than 30 essays and features, a hand-picked array of writers, critics and musicians will be exploring the songs that made a difference: to their lives, the lives of others and to music itself. Everyone's life has a soundtrack. What's yours?

101 Montunos (in English/Spanish)

by Rebeca Mauleón-Santana

This book explores the role of the piano in the various types of rhythmic styles associated with Afro-Caribbean music and its never-ending evolution

101 Ways to Flip the Bird

by Jason Joseph Rick Joseph

So ticked off you're at a loss for words? 101 Ways to Flip the Birdprovides 101 creative ways to express exactly how you feel. Arm yourself with the perfect bird for every occasion: Some jerk cut you off in traffic? Opt for the Classic Flip, also appropriate when protesting a bad call by a referee (see page 2). Interrupted by a rude coworker? Try the Glasses Adjuster, subtle enough to use during a business meeting (see page 26). A joker makes a snide remark about your haircut? Cup a Bird behind your ear and flip them Sorry, I'm Deaf (see page 66). Your cheap friend is hitting you up for money again? Pull Here, I've Got Something For You out of your pocket (see page 38). First date boring you half to death with inane chatter? Amuse yourself with the Thinker, a simple and pensive Bird to the chin (see page 64).

102 Cat and Dog Jokes

by Michael Pellowski

Where did the kittens go on their class trip? A mewseum. If you like all kinds of dogs and cats, you'll love this hilarious collection of jokes! Tell them to your friends and family - they will howl with laughter at these purrfectly funny jokes.

150 Things Every Man Should Know

by Gareth May

Living up to today's expectations of manliness can be nearly impossible. But now finally there is a complete collection of the essential skills necessary to make it through life as a man. Learn everything you need in order to survive and thrive in life. From the practical (how to change a tire) to the sophisticated (how to choose a fine wine), to the essential (how to get away with checking out other women), these tips are the ultimate guide to manhood. Learn how to:Make a bedIron your clothesBuy a last minute gift for your girlfriendUse proper urinal etiquette

1791: Mozart's Last Year

by H. C. Landon

Biography of Mozart's last year, in which he wrote The Magic Flute, La Clemenza di Tito, and the Clarinet Concerto, as well as most of the Requiem.

1800 Riddles, Enigmas and Conundrums

by Darwin A. Hindman

The book contains 1800 Riddles, Enigmas and Conundrums and the word riddle is used in this collection in a broad sense, as referring to a kind of puzzle--one in the form of a question that is blind, obscure, confusing, or misleading, and is intended to be guessed.

1989: Bob Dylan Didn't Have This to Sing About

by Joshua Clover

In a tour de force of lyrical theory, Joshua Clover boldly reimagines how we understand both pop music and its social context in a vibrant exploration of a year famously described as "the end of history." Amid the historic overturnings of 1989, including the fall of the Berlin Wall, pop music also experienced striking changes. Vividly conjuring cultural sensations and events, Clover tracks the emergence of seemingly disconnected phenomena--from grunge to acid house to gangsta rap--asking if "perhaps pop had been biding its time until 1989 came along to make sense of its sensibility." His analysis deftly moves among varied artists and genres including Public Enemy, N.W.A., Dr. Dre, De La Soul, The KLF, Nine Inch Nails, Nirvana, U2, Jesus Jones, the Scorpions, George Michael, Madonna, Roxette, and others. This elegantly written work, deliberately mirroring history as dialectical and ongoing, summons forth a new understanding of how "history had come out to meet pop as something more than a fairytale, or something less. A truth, a way of being."

2009 Screenwriter's & Playwright's Market

by Chuck Sambuchino Charles Galvin Robin Mizell Emily Hoferer

New in our Market Books line of bestselling reference guides for writers and creative professionals comes the Screenwriter's & Playwright's Market. This guide is the one-stop resource for playwrights and screenwriters providing both craft and marketing information. With everything from market listings to tips for formatting manuscripts to informative articles from \industry professionals, this new market guide has everything you need to make it as a writer in showbiz.

2009 Screenwriter's & Playwright's Market®

by Chuck Sambuchino Emily Hoferer Charles Galvin Robin Mizell

New in our Market Books line of bestselling reference guides for writers and creative professionals comes the Screenwriter's & Playwright's Market. This guide is the one-stop resource for playwrights and screenwriters providing both craft and marketing information. With everything from market listings to tips for formatting manuscripts to informative articles from industry professionals, this new market guide has everything you need to make it as a writer in showbiz.

2009 Screenwriter's & Playwright's Market®

by Chuck Sambuchino Emily Hoferer Charles Galvin Robin Mizell

New in our Market Books line of bestselling reference guides for writers and creative professionals comes the Screenwriter's & Playwright's Market. This guide is the one-stop resource for playwrights and screenwriters providing both craft and marketing information. With everything from market listings to tips for formatting manuscripts to informative articles from industry professionals, this new market guide has everything you need to make it as a writer in showbiz.

2009 Songwriter's Market®

by Greg Hatfield

Songwriter's Market is packed with insider information about the music industry that can spell the difference between success and failure. You'll find support and encouragement through listings for support organizations, online resources, as well as articles and interviews with industry insiders. With completely updated listings for music publishers, record companies, managers, booking agents, and record producers, as well as information about how the music industry works and how to protect yourself from the scam artists of the industry, this helpful guide is every musician's best friend.

24 and Philosophy: The World According to Jack

by Jennifer Hart Weed Ronald Weed Richard Davis

Philosophy professors teaching in the U. S. and England examine the ethical dilemmas and philosophical issues raised in the television series 24. The 16 chapters explain the conditions of just war theory, Nietzsche's juxtaposition of Dionysus and Apollo, the arguments against torture, the postmodern aspects of terrorism, and the cell phone's impact on contemporary life.

3-D Band Book: Conductor

by James D. Ployhar George B. Zepp

The 3-D Band Book is a three-dimensional approach to rehearsal preparation. This complete tune up/warm up program will reduce rehearsal stress and permit greater accomplishment with less effort. The overall preparedness that this book provides will make every rehearsal a more rewarding and enjoyable experience. The book is divided into three parts: tune up/warm up, key preparation, and rhythm preparation. In addition, there are three pages of harmony and ear training which will provide the basic knowledge necessary for relating to the exercises and chorales found in the book.

30 Rock and Philosophy: We Want to Go to There

by William Irwin

A fascinating exploration of the philosophy behind NBC's hit TV series, 30 Rock. With edgy writing and a great cast, 30 Rock is one of the funniest television shows on the air--and where hilarity ensues, philosophical questions abound: Are Liz Lemon and Jack Donaghy ethical heroes? Kenneth redefines "goody two shoes", but what does it really mean to be good? Dr. Leo Spaceman routinely demonstrates that medicine is not a science, so what is the role of the incompetent professional in America today? In 30 Rock and Philosophy, Tina Fey and her fellow cast members are thrust onto the philosophical stage with Plato, Aristotle, Kant and other great thinkers to examine these key questions and many others that involve the characters and plotlines of 30 Rock and its fictional TGS with Tracy Jordan comedy show. Takes an entertaining, up-close look at the philosophical issues behind 30 Rock's characters and storylines, from post-feminist ideals to workaholism and the meaning of life Equips you with a new understanding of Liz Lemon, Jack Donaghy, Tracy Jordan, Jenna Maroney, Dr. Spaceman, and other characters Gives you deep and meaningful new reasons (who knew?) for watching Tina Fey and your other favorites on 30 Rock. Ideal for both casual and diehard fans, this book is the essential companion for every 30 Rock-watcher.

50 Card Games for Children

by Vernon Quinn

From the book: Includes directions for 20 games for children, 12 games of solitaire, 12 card tricks, six games for grownups and an easy lesson in contract bridge.

500 Clean Jokes and Humorous Stories, and How to Tell Them

by Rusty Wright Linda Raney Wright

Discover how to use humor to improve all of your relationships and become a more dynamic communicator, whether one-on-one or in larger groups.

5000 Episodes and No Commercials: The Ultimate Guide to TV Shows on DVD

by David Hofstede

Groundbreaking! Does for TV shows what Leonard Maltin's guides do for movies! Forget movies! Sales of TV DVDs are outpacing all other categories, according to Video Store magazine. The Simpsons, 24, Lost, Desperate Housewives, Alias, even old chestnuts like Columbo and Home Improvement are blowing out of the stores as fans and collectors rush to buy their favorite shows, compact and complete. How do buyers know which shows are the best, which season contains that favorite moment, which episode features that guest star? They don't--not without their trusty copy of 5,000 Episodes No Commercials which gives full information on every sitcom and drama released on DVD, whether in season-by-season sets, individual episodes, best-of compilations, specials, or made-for-TV movies. Almost 500 pages of listings include year of original airing, information on audio and video quality, extras, Easter eggs, and more. Every couch potato is sure to heave up off the sofa just long enough to buy 5,000 Episodes No Commercials!

501 Things To Do With A Zombie

by J.C. RICHARDS Illustrated by AARON WAITE

Zombies are, or were, people too! Escape routes, defense plans, survival kits. Enough is enough! Zombies have gotten a bad rap, and it's time the redeeming qualities of these brain-eating (but potentially lovable) creatures come to light. Enter 501 Things to Do with a Zombie. Inside, you'll see that the undead make the perfect sidekicks for just about anything you've got going on. Can't convince a buddy to join you in karaoke? No worries! A Zombie never suffers from stage fright! Looking to take a leisurely stroll through the local farmers' market? Zombies know the secret to picking out the freshest tomatoes. Need to negotiate a new cell-phone contract? Bring a Zombie along to get out of the two-year commitment (he can strong-arm the sales rep--that is, unless it's missing). Sure, Zombies may have rotting flesh and nasty viruses, but don't we all have our faults? Open your mind and open this book for inspired ideas on how we can all learn to get along.

5600 Jokes for All Occasions

by Mildred Meiers Jack Knap

From the Book jacket: What's better than Dial-A-Joke? File-A-Joke. This is the book you've been looking for. The one that takes the worry out of wisecracks, the book that proves there is such a thing as easy humor (providing somebody else does the work!) This book does all the work. Now all you have to do is leaf through and enjoy. Or, better yet, pick a victim and look him up in the index. Your unsuspecting mailman, for instance: "Say, Charlie, why is this letter wet?" (Your postman gives a puzzled look.) "Must be postage dew." (Then duck, quickly.) And there's no need to stop there. Is your postman rather hefty? Then just flip to the back of the book and look under "Fat People" (no beating around the bush with this book). You'll find high-level intelligence quotients under "Smartness," conceit under "Stuck Up," and unmarried ladies under "Old Maids." Want a crazy excuse for being late for work? Try #3212. Or for never having learned to spell? #4923. And #4378 is great to try on ex-cons and football lovers. If you want to impress a literary snob who asks you if you know Shakespeare, quote #4595 and say, "Sure, I read his stuff as soon as it comes out." Search these pages to find out why Ireland is the richest country in the world (#5480), how we know Washington had a great memory (#4007), and who went two thousand miles on a galleon [sic] (#5025). In its unusual Introduction, 5600 Jokes for All Occasions supplies us with a valuable guide to making the most of the material. The Introduction gives hints on How to Select Material, Write and Tell Jokes, Adapt Jokes, and Write Sketches and Continuities. The humorous situations are broadly classified into Individuals and Institutions, and these are neatly subdivided so that every subject is related to the subjects before and after it. The most comprehensive collection of humor on the market today, 5600 Jokes is a laugh-makers dream.

700 Sundays

by Billy Crystal

Actor and comedian Billy Crystal has forged a highly successful career by portraying other people in movies like When Harry Met Sally...and City Slickers. But in 700 Sundays, a memoir based on his one-man Broadway play of the same name, Crystal tells his own story, dissecting an often complex relationship with his father and how that relationship resonated in other aspects of his life. His father, Jack Crystal was an influential jazz concert promoter and operated an influential jazz record label, affording his son an opportunity to tell stories of being taken to his first movie by Billie Holliday and seeing his grandmother suggest that Louis Armstrong simply "try coughing it up." But Jack died when his son was fifteen years old, soon after a forever-unresolved argument between the two, leaving Billy to cope with crushing grief while simultaneously and perhaps ironically trying to launch a career in comedy. This lends 700 Sundays much needed gravity in a volume that is packed with zingy one-liners and whimsical observations that serve to illustrate the comedy career Crystal forged, while also providing some decent laughs. Interestingly, there is very little reference to the better known accomplishments of Crystal's Hollywood career as the author chooses to focus instead on the seemingly mundane but highly entertaining aspects of his Long Island roots. Though 700 Sundays (the name comes from Crystal's estimation of how many Sundays he got to spend with his father) is packaged here in book form, it reads like a piece of theater and, more specifically, like a selection of memories about a father, lovingly and touchingly re-told by his loving son. --John Moe

The 776 Nastiest Things Ever Said

by Ross Petras Kathryn Petras

A hilarious collection of malicious, crude and catty quotes taken straight from the mouths of well-known entertainers, authors, politicians and other public figures. Ross and Kathryn Petras are writers and media junkies. When not collecting other people's stupidities and nasty comments, they collect their own.

The 776 Stupidest Things Ever Said

by Ross Petras Kathryn Petras

A connoisseur's compendium of Freudian slips, spoonerisms, double-talk, and utter bosh from famous and infamous figures past and present -- a complete course in anti-eloquence by the foot-in-mouth champions of all time.

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