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101 THINGS YOU and John McCain DIDN'T KNOW ABOUT SARAH PALIN
by Gregory Bergman Paula MunierHunter. Hockey mom. Live action figure.Sarah Palin is living proof that politics does indeed make strange bedfellows. In 101 Things You—and John McCain—Didn’t Know about Sarah Palin, readers learn the (alleged) truth about the (reputed) Republican darling from Alaska who’s taken the nation by (ice) storm. In this hilarious, irreverent look at the world’s most infamous Miss Congeniality, comedian and WTF? author Gregory Bergman reveals more than one hundred bizarre, obscure facts about the bizarre, obscure governor from Wasilla, including:#3 Sarah Palin supports funding for abstinence-only programs in schools. Just call her Grandma.#4 In 2007, Sarah Palin offered $150 to every hunter who hacked off the left foreleg of a wolf shot from a plane. Talk about wolves being thrown, uh, to the wolves.#12 Sarah Palin once dressed as Tina Fey for Halloween. She gained twenty IQ points and a sense of humor.101 Things You—and John McCain—Didn’t Know about Sarah Palin—because politics is funnier than fiction!
101 Two-Letter Words
by Roz Chast Stephin MerrittA one-of-a-kind celebration of the 101 two-letter words allowed in Scrabble. Rolling Stone has called singer-songwriter Stephin Merritt of the Magnetic Fields "the Cole Porter of his generation"; O, The Oprah Magazine has hailed cartoonist Roz Chast as "the wryest pen since Dorothy Parker's." Together they have crafted a wonderfully witty book that is sure to prove useful to Scrabble players and Words With Friends addicts--and to delight anyone in thrall to the weirder corners of the English language. With the mordant wit and clever wordplay of Edward Gorey or Shel Silverstein, Stephin Merritt has written an original four-line rhyming poem for each of the 101 two-letter words included in The Official Scrabble Players Dictionary. Here are poems about familiar words (such as at, go, hi, no, and up) as well as obscure ones (such as aa, ka, oe, qi, xu). And every one of the 101 poems is accompanied by a full-color illustration by the incomparable cartoonist Roz Chast. 101 Two-Letter Words is perfect for any language lover or Scrabble player (it may even improve your score!).
101 Uses for a Bridesmaid Dress
by Cindy WalkerBridesmaid dresses -- what are they good for? We've got to pay for them, wear them, and then find a spot for them in the back of the closet. Our best women friends, suddenly transformed into tasteful-white-dress-wearing brides, tell us, "You'll be able to wear this bridesmaid dress again." But we know better.101 Uses for a Bridesmaid Dress, tongue firmly in cheek, pokes fun at the hopelessly horrible dress that a bride asks her "court" to don. These whimsical illustrations and silly suggestions, from cocktail napkins and shower curtains, to pony blankets and frilly jock straps, are a hilarious antidote to the bridesmaid dresses we'll never wear again.
101 Uses for My Ex-Wife's Wedding Dress
by Kevin CotterA truly unique book about making the best of a bad situation - the hilarious true story based on Kevin Cotter's popular blog "My Ex-Wife's Wedding Dress". When Kevin's wife left him, she had no interest in grabbing her wedding dress on the way out. "What am I going to do with it?" he asked "Whatever the f**k you want," she replied. After careful consideration, he did what any newly-divorced man would do-made it into a scarecrow, pasta strainer, dental floss, and 98 other things-while posting accompanying photos, videos, and witty commentary on his website. .
101 Uses Of A Dead Roach
by Simon Bond Howard MarksHoward Marks is king of the dope-smoking world: Mr Nice is now at a staggering half a million copies sold, and the Book of Dope Stories has sold 100,000 copies in six months. Simon Bond is a well-known cartoonist: the classic 101 Uses For A Dead Cat came out in an omnibus edition last year - twenty years after it was first published. 101 Uses For A Dead Roach will be a humour classic - 101 cartoons ranging from the sublime to the ridiculous, of how to use the un-useable part of your joint.
101 Ways to Bug Your Friends and Enemies
by Lee WardlawThe fun, wacky series is back and middle schoolers will love the third zany installment! Steve "Sneeze" Wyatt is back and muddling through typical middle school experiences in an entirely atypical way. Between dodging the meathead golf team bully and puzzling out why girls have him and his friends acting so odd, everyone struggles through the throes of friendship and first love with a distinctly Cyrano de Bergerac spin. With a hilarious ensemble cast, plenty of zingy banter, and just the right amount of gross-outs, this latest in the 101 Ways series delivers exactly what fans want, and is sure to earn new ones too.
101 Ways to Bug Your Parents
by Lee WardlawFrom the cover When his parents call off the family vacation and enroll their son in a creative writing class instead, twelve-year-old Steve comes up with a wacky moneymaking project.
101 Ways to Flip the Bird
by Jason Joseph Rick JosephSo ticked off you're at a loss for words? 101 Ways to Flip the Birdprovides 101 creative ways to express exactly how you feel. Arm yourself with the perfect bird for every occasion: Some jerk cut you off in traffic? Opt for the Classic Flip, also appropriate when protesting a bad call by a referee (see page 2). Interrupted by a rude coworker? Try the Glasses Adjuster, subtle enough to use during a business meeting (see page 26). A joker makes a snide remark about your haircut? Cup a Bird behind your ear and flip them Sorry, I'm Deaf (see page 66). Your cheap friend is hitting you up for money again? Pull Here, I've Got Something For You out of your pocket (see page 38). First date boring you half to death with inane chatter? Amuse yourself with the Thinker, a simple and pensive Bird to the chin (see page 64).
101 Ways to Torture Your Husband
by Maria Garcia-KalbHe forgot your birthday.He always leaves his socks on the floor.He&’s glued to the tube all weekend for every game.Let&’s face it: Even the best of husbands are a real pain in the ass sometimes. And when all the &“talks,&” counseling sessions and self-help books fail, there&’s only one viable recourse: torture. In this hilarious collection of clever tricks and tactics, you will learn how to put your husband in his place when you:Bury the remote in the backyardHave lunch with an exPick a fight during the gameBook a male masseuse for your next massageDelete his DVR recordingsAnd many more!Risk factors rank damage done as well as how long it&’ll take him to get over it. With the creatively wicked methods outlined in this manual, he&’ll never misbehave again!
102 Cat and Dog Jokes
by Michael PellowskiWhere did the kittens go on their class trip? A mewseum. If you like all kinds of dogs and cats, you'll love this hilarious collection of jokes! Tell them to your friends and family - they will howl with laughter at these purrfectly funny jokes.
The 104-Story Treehouse: Dental Dramas & Jokes Galore! (The Treehouse Books #8)
by Andy GriffithsNew York Times-bestselling team Andy Griffiths and Terry Denton invite readers to come hang out with them in their 104-Story Treehouse—the eighth book in the illustrated chapter book series filled with Andy and Terry's signature slapstick humor!Andy and Terry live in a 104-story treehouse. (It used to be a 91-story treehouse, but they decided it was still missing a few things.) It has a never-ending staircase, a burp bank, a deep-thoughts thinking room, Mount Everest, a mighty fortress reinforced with extra-strong fortress reinforcer, and a money-making machine (that also makes honey!). When Andy has a toothache that hurts so bad he can’t write any jokes for their new book, Terry knows just what to do: buy a Joke Writer 2000™ to write the jokes for them! All they need first is some money from their money-making machine and then it’s off to the store. It’s a foolproof plan—a Terry-proof one, even! What could go wrong?
11,002 Things to Be Miserable About: The Satirical Not-so-happy Book
by Lia Romeo Nick RomeoSome people have 14,000 Things to Be Happy About. You’re not one of them. 11,002 Things to Be Miserable About is a list of all the reasons NOT to wake up in the morning. Ironically enough, when you put all of them under one cover, it’s actually very funny. This decidedly absurd inventory of misery is perfect for sardonic and disaffected youth, for people seeking gifts for Traumatic Event Birthdays (like 21, 25, 30, 40, and, well, anything after 40), and for anyone else with an offbeat sense of humor. Enjoy. Some of the entries are pretty basic, like imitation crabmeat, student loans, and David Hasselhoff, but other entries actually include educational things, like dust mites, which make up one-third of the weight of a six-year-old pillow. See, you can laugh and learn.
11 Experiments That Failed
by Jenny Offill Nancy Carpenter"This is a most joyful and clever whimsy, the kind that lightens the heart and puts a shine on the day," raved Kirkus Reviews in a starred review.Is it possible to eat snowballs doused in ketchup--and nothing else--all winter? Can a washing machine wash dishes? By reading the step-by-step instructions, kids can discover the answers to such all-important questions along with the book's curious narrator. Here are 12 "hypotheses," as well as lists of "what you need," "what to do," and "what happened" that are sure to make young readers laugh out loud as they learn how to conduct science experiments (really!). Jenny Offill and Nancy Carpenter--the ingenious pair that brought you 17 Things I'm Not Allowed to Do Anymore--have outdone themselves in this brilliant and outrageously funny book.From the Hardcover edition.
11 Points Guide to Hooking Up: Lists and Advice about First Dates, Hotties, Scandals, Pick-ups, Threesomes, and Booty Calls
by Sam GreenspanMost everyone has been, or will be, one half of a budding romantic relationship at least once-but not everyone knows how to successfully navigate those first-date butterflies, the potentially steamy bedroom scenes, and the ever-feared crushing moments of betrayal. 11 Points Guide to Hooking Up serves as a manual to dating, relationships, and sex-and is a wildly entertaining read for people who are single, taken, young, old, gay, straight, or anywhere in between. Creator Sam Greenspan blends his quirky humor, attuned sense of popular culture, and entertaining approach to produce thought-provoking lists about the ins and outs of dating. Prepare to take notes and laugh out loud with 11 Points Guide to Hooking Up.
111 cosas que podrías hacer en lugar de depilarte
by Alexis Ortiz¿SABÍAS QUE DEDICAMOS UNA MEDIA DE 1.000 HORAS DE NUESTRA VIDA A DEPILARNOS? QUIZÁ HAYA LLEGADO EL MOMENTO DE HACER OTRAS COSAS CON NUESTRO TIEMPO.Un libro cargado de ideas para llenar tu vida de creatividad, diversión y buenos momentos.Nuestro tiempo es valiosísimo y quizá no haga falta invertir buena parte de él a quitarnos los pelos. En su lugar, nos podríamos dedicar a cosas mucho más interesantes como aprender a comunicarnos solo en memes, practicar la papiroflexia, usar la ouija para contactar con el espíritu de Marie Curie, batir un récord Guinness (el de más huevos rotos con la cabeza parece bastante accesible) o, no sé, incluso derribar el patriarcado.Porque no hay nada que una mujer con tiempo entre manos, y con (o sin) pelos en las piernas, no pueda hacer.Ilustrado por Rocío Vidal (@rainvart)
111 cosas que podrías hacer en lugar de mirar el móvil
by Nora GarcíaRECUPERA TU TIEMPO Y HUYE DE LAS PANTALLAS CON ESTAS 111 PROPUESTAS CREATIVAS PARA COMBATIR LA ADICCIÓN AL MÓVIL. PASAMOS CERCA DE 4 HORAS Y MEDIA AL DÍA MIRANDO EL MÓVIL. ¿SABES QUÉ OTRAS COSAS PODRÍAS HACER CON ESE TIEMPO? -Organizar tu propio Festival de Eurovisión en casa. -Montar tu propio herbario.-Practicar el urban sketching. -Apuntarte al self-care y crear tus propios potingues de belleza. -Aprender lengua de signos. -Descubrir los trucos de supervivencia indispensables para sobrevivir al apocalipsis. Estas son solo algunas de las 111 ideas que encontrarás en este libro. Propuestas que te ayudarán a cultivar la creatividad, a disfrutar más y mejor de tu tiempo libre y, por encima de todo, a recordar lo maravilloso que era el mundo cuando no tenías que cargar la batería para seguir disfrutando de él.
The 117-Story Treehouse: Dots, Plots & Daring Escapes! (The Treehouse Books #9)
by Andy GriffithsNew York Times-bestselling team Andy Griffiths and Terry Denton invite readers to come hang out with them in their 117-Story Treehouse—the ninth book in the illustrated chapter book series filled with Andy and Terry's signature slapstick humor!Andy and Terry live in a 117-story treehouse. (It used to be a 104-story treehouse, but it just keeps growing!) It now has a pajama-party room, a water-ski park filled with flesh-eating piranhas, an Underpants Museum, a giant-fighting-robot arena, and the Door of Doom (don’t open it or you’ll be COMPLETELY and UTTERLY DOOMED!).For as long as Andy and Terry have been writing books together, Andy has always been the narrator and Terry has always been the illustrator. But when Terry tries to prove that he can narrate as well as draw, the story goes completely out of control and the Story Police arrive to arrest the whole treehouse team for crimes against storytelling! Andy, Terry and Jill go on the run, but how long can they evade the Story Police and stay out of Story Jail? Praise for Andy Griffiths and the Treehouse series:"Anarchic absurdity at its best. . . . Denton's manic cartooning captures every twist and turn in hilarious detail." —Publishers Weekly, starred review, on The 13-Story Treehouse"Will appeal to fans of Jeff Kinney and Dav Pilkey. . . . The wonderfully random slapstick humor is tailor-made for reluctant readers. . . . A treat for all." —Booklist on The 13-Story TreehouseRead the whole series!The 13-Story TreehouseThe 26-Story TreehouseThe 39-Story TreehouseThe 52-Story TreehouseThe 65-Story TreehouseThe 78-Story TreehouseThe 91-Story TreehouseThe 104-Story TreehouseThe 117-Story Treehouse
The 12 Dares of Christmas (Sycamore Cove Games #1)
by Leigh W. Stuart&“A cheerful, lighthearted romp…cleverly mixes in a seductive game of alternating dares that morphs into more than just a holiday hookup…[a] joyous tale.&”—Publishers Weekly Lauren Hall has one wish for Christmas this year—raise money to build a new, no-kill animal shelter for the little Virginia town of Sycamore Cove. And she is prepared to do anything to make it happen. Even dare a man she just met to perform a strip tease for the local knitting society. Gabe Nicholson has one wish too—obtain the job of a lifetime to launch his career. But his wishes get snowballed when his best friend's little sister hands him a pair of stripper pants and a bottle of eggnog-flavored body oil. It&’s all sugar plums and mistletoe until a scandal caused by Lauren&’s fundraiser threatens to ruin everything. With Gabe's work opportunities disappearing before his eyes and Lauren's fundraising efforts tanking, their game of dares stands to burn them both. Unless it ignites a spark of Christmas magic…
The 12 Days of Christmas
by Greg PizzoliElephant is delighted to get a gift, but as the twelve days of Christmas continue, presents pile higher and higher! A partridge in a pear tree? Cute! But soon, her dad despairs. Two turtle doves? THREE French hens?! And just what are they supposed to do with ten lords a-leaping? Kids will love each silly spread in this raucous take on the classic carol that is perfect for reading aloud around the fireplace.
12 Days of Christmas (LEGO)
by Margaret WangJoin in a super-silly Christmas celebration based on an all-new LEGO® holiday song!The holiday season can get a little kooky—especially when LEGO® friends come to visit. Get ready for Christmas with an ever-growing cast of merry guests, including festive robots and pirates. Inspired by an all-new video that puts a silly LEGO® spin on &“The Twelve Days of Christmas,&” this full-color hardcover picture book is sure to thrill boys and girls ages 3 to 7—and collectors of all ages. LEGO, the LEGO logo, the Brick and Knob configurations, and the Minifigure are trademarks of the LEGO Group. ©2021 The LEGO Group.Manufactured by AMEET Sp. z o.o. under license from the LEGO Group.
12 Days of Richard Simmons
by Penguin Young Readers LicensesCelebrate the holidays with Richard Simmons!Celebrate the holidays with fitness legend Richard Simmons! This gift book is perfect as a stocking stuffer for fans who like to disco sweat to the Christmas oldies.
12 Hours To Say I Love You: Read the most romantic and heartwrenching book of 2022
by Olivia Poulet Laurence DobieszTheirs was the love of a lifetime.Now they have one night to save it.'A wonderfully romantic book' KEIRA KNIGHTLEY'Not just a beautifully tender love story but also a wonderful journey of exaltation, desperation and heartbreak - life-affirming' TOM ALLEN'Hilarious and heartbreaking, a rollercoaster you won't want to get off' SARA PASCOE'Captivating. I loved it' REBECCA HALL'A glorious love story that you won't be able to put down. Relatable. Funny. Heartbreaking' DEBORAH FRANCES-WHITE'Beautiful... This drowns in love' SIOBHÁN MCSWEENEY_________________________Gripping, moving and beautifully observed, this is a love story told from both sides, with warmth, tenderness and heart.Whir, beep, click, breath. Whir, beep, click, breath.Pippa Gallagher is rushed in to hospital following a traffic accident.As Pippa lies unconscious, she is aware of fragments. The day she met Steve Gallagher, her best friend and the man who would become the love of her life. The heartbreak she felt tonight as she got into her car, her eyes blurry from tears.Meanwhile Steve sits at her bedside, his eyes fixed on her pale, still face. He has no idea where his wife was going when she crashed. No clue as to why she became distracted behind the wheel. All he knows is that she is his world. And that he wasn't there when she needed him most. For the next twelve hours, Steve tells Pippa all the reasons he loves her.But is it too late? Can Pippa find her way back to him?_________________________Just some of the early real reader reviews for 12 HOURS TO SAY I LOVE YOU:'An absolute joy to read. A book for anyone who is in love, has loved or been loved *****''Oh my gosh, I can't even with this book. It was stunningly beautiful and emotive. I laughed, I cried and I felt totally heartbroken. A beautiful story that both made me hopeful and emotionally destroyed at the same time. I loved it. *****''A beautiful, moving love story - poignant and so very real. Explores the beautiful, messy chaos that is falling in and staying in love. The connection between them was so real that my heart broke for them with every page, and it felt as though we've lived through their relationship alongside them. A truly heartbreakingly stunning story about love and loss, fans of If I Stay will definitely love this story ****''This is such a beautiful love story. Although it is quite heartbreaking... there are quite a lot of funny moments. Such a great cast of characters. Great storyline and quite emotional. Thoroughly entertaining *****'This was a tender, emotional read. It was romantic as you would expect, yet not schmaltzy or unrealistic. I found it to be a beautiful and thought-provoking book. I really enjoyed it ****'A beautifully written romance that had me rooting for the characters throughout. The perfect weekend read'(P)2022 Headline Publishing Group Limited
12 Hours To Say I Love You: Read this book and your heart won't be the same - the Must-Read Love Story of 2022
by Olivia Poulet Laurence DobieszTheirs was the love of a lifetime.Now they have one night to save it...GRIPPING, MOVING AND BEAUTIFULLY OBSERVED, THIS NOVEL CELEBRATES THE MESSINESS AND THE MIRACLE OF THAT THING WE CALL LOVE. 'Wonderfully romantic' KEIRA KNIGHTLEY'Beautifully tender and life-affirming' TOM ALLEN'Relatable. Funny. Heartbreaking. Glorious' DEBORAH FRANCES-WHITE_________________________Whir, beep, click, breath. Whir, beep, click, breath. Pippa Gallagher is rushed in to hospital following a traffic accident.As Pippa lies unconscious, fragments of the past flash through her mind. The day she met Steve Gallagher, the man who would become the love of her life. The heartbreak she felt tonight as she got into her car, her eyes blurry from tears. Meanwhile Steve sits at her bedside, his eyes fixed on her pale, still face. He has no idea where his wife was going when she crashed. No clue as to why she became distracted behind the wheel. All he knows is that she is his world. And that he wasn't there when she needed him most. For the next twelve hours, Steve tells Pippa all the reasons he loves her. But is it too late? Can Pippa find her way back to him?HAVE YOU READ THE LOVE STORY EVERYONE IS TALKING ABOUT?'Witty, tender and compulsively readable!' DIANA GABALDON, bestselling author of OUTLANDER'Hilarious and heartbreaking' SARA PASCOE'Captivating. I loved it' REBECCA HALL'This drowns in love. 'Beautiful' SIOBHÁN MCSWEENEY_________________________Early readers ADORE this beautiful novel:'Oh my gosh, I can't even with this book. It was stunningly beautiful and emotive. I laughed, I cried and I felt totally heartbroken. A beautiful story that both made me hopeful and emotionally destroyed at the same time. I loved it. *****''An absolute joy to read. A book for anyone who is in love, has loved or been loved *****''Oh my gosh, this book nearly broke me. It was so romantic and funny and real and relatable. I loved every page. That ending is amazing. Highly recommend *****''A beautiful, moving love story, poignant and so very real. Explores the beautiful, messy chaos that is falling in and staying in love. The connection between them was so real that my heart broke for them with every page, and it felt as though we've lived through their relationship alongside them. A truly heartbreakingly stunning story about love and loss, fans of If I Stay will definitely love this story ****' 'This is such a beautiful love story. Although it is quite heartbreaking... there are quite a lot of funny moments. Such a great cast of characters. Great storyline and quite emotional. Thoroughly entertaining *****'This was a tender, emotional read. It was romantic as you would expect, yet not schmaltzy or unrealistic. I found it to be a beautiful and thought-provoking book. I really enjoyed it ****'A beautifully written romance that had me rooting for the characters throughout. The perfect weekend read'
12 Hours To Say I Love You: Read this book and your heart won't be the same - the Must-Read Love Story of 2022
by Olivia Poulet Laurence DobieszTheirs was the love of a lifetime.Now they have one night to save it...GRIPPING, MOVING AND BEAUTIFULLY OBSERVED, THIS NOVEL CELEBRATES THE MESSINESS AND THE MIRACLE OF THAT THING WE CALL LOVE. 'Wonderfully romantic' KEIRA KNIGHTLEY'Beautifully tender and life-affirming' TOM ALLEN'Relatable. Funny. Heartbreaking. Glorious' DEBORAH FRANCES-WHITE_________________________Whir, beep, click, breath. Whir, beep, click, breath. Pippa Gallagher is rushed in to hospital following a traffic accident.As Pippa lies unconscious, fragments of the past flash through her mind. The day she met Steve Gallagher, the man who would become the love of her life. The heartbreak she felt tonight as she got into her car, her eyes blurry from tears. Meanwhile Steve sits at her bedside, his eyes fixed on her pale, still face. He has no idea where his wife was going when she crashed. No clue as to why she became distracted behind the wheel. All he knows is that she is his world. And that he wasn't there when she needed him most. For the next twelve hours, Steve tells Pippa all the reasons he loves her. But is it too late? Can Pippa find her way back to him?HAVE YOU READ THE LOVE STORY EVERYONE IS TALKING ABOUT?'Witty, tender and compulsively readable!' DIANA GABALDON, bestselling author of OUTLANDER'Hilarious and heartbreaking' SARA PASCOE'Captivating. I loved it' REBECCA HALL'This drowns in love. 'Beautiful' SIOBHÁN MCSWEENEY_________________________Early readers ADORE this beautiful novel:'Oh my gosh, I can't even with this book. It was stunningly beautiful and emotive. I laughed, I cried and I felt totally heartbroken. A beautiful story that both made me hopeful and emotionally destroyed at the same time. I loved it. *****''An absolute joy to read. A book for anyone who is in love, has loved or been loved *****''Oh my gosh, this book nearly broke me. It was so romantic and funny and real and relatable. I loved every page. That ending is amazing. Highly recommend *****''A beautiful, moving love story, poignant and so very real. Explores the beautiful, messy chaos that is falling in and staying in love. The connection between them was so real that my heart broke for them with every page, and it felt as though we've lived through their relationship alongside them. A truly heartbreakingly stunning story about love and loss, fans of If I Stay will definitely love this story ****' 'This is such a beautiful love story. Although it is quite heartbreaking... there are quite a lot of funny moments. Such a great cast of characters. Great storyline and quite emotional. Thoroughly entertaining *****'This was a tender, emotional read. It was romantic as you would expect, yet not schmaltzy or unrealistic. I found it to be a beautiful and thought-provoking book. I really enjoyed it ****'A beautifully written romance that had me rooting for the characters throughout. The perfect weekend read'
The 12 Screams of Christmas (Goosebumps Most Wanted #2)
by R. L. StineThe infamous, Most Wanted Goosebumps characters are out on the loose and after you. For the first time ever, it's a Goosebumps Christmas! <P><P> Kate Welles doesn't want to be special. She just wants to play the lead in her school's Christmas play. Her annoying "friend" Courtney is constantly getting in the way of that. Can you even call someone a "friend" if all they do is make fun of you and ruin everything all of the time? But Kate has to get along with Courtney or else neither of them will be allowed to take part in The 12 Screams of Christmas. Kate and Courtney's teacher decides they need to find a special place to rehearse. A certain house with a special history. The kind of place that Kate would normally be pretty frightened to go into. The kind of place that gives new meaning to the term: Christmas Spirit.