- Table View
- List View
101 Silly Halloween Jokes for Kids
by Editors of Ulysses PressLooking for some spook-tacular laughs this Halloween? Look no further... 101 Silly Halloween Jokes for Kids is filled with funny, delightful tricks and treats that ghost-loving, pumpkin-obsessed kids will howl over, share, and tell all season long.Discover the ultimate laugh-out-loud joke book for kids that's 100 percent about everyone's favorite time of year—Halloween! Inside, kids will find clean, fun jokes like: What does a vampire stand on when he gets out of the shower? A bat mat! What's the first thing ghosts do when they get in the car? Boo-ckle their seatbelts! What does a skeleton order at a restaurant? Spare ribs! What do sea monsters eat for lunch? Fish and ships. . . . .And many more! Whether you&’re a wizard of wordplay, a ghoulish giggler, or just someone who loves good old haunted hilarity, this book is the perfect addition to your library.
101 Silly Jokes for Kids (Silly Jokes for Kids)
by Editors of Ulysses PressLaugh out loud with this book filled hilarious, clean, and silly jokes for kids ages 5 to 10.Packed with knee-slapping jokes and tongue-twisting fun, this joke book is the perfect companion for kids who love to laugh and entertain. Whether you're on a road trip, hosting a sleepover, or simply hanging out in the backyard, 101 Silly Jokes for Kids guarantees to bring smiles, laughter, and maybe even a few eye-rolls from parents and siblings! What happened when the lion ate the comedian? He felt a little funny Why was the man mad at the clock? He was ticked off! How was the snow globe feeling? A little bit shaken What starts with a P and ends with an E and has thousands of letters? The Post Office!
101 Silly Summertime Jokes
by Stephanie CalmensonWhat do you say to a forty-ton shark with razor-sharp teeth, who is listening to his headphones with the volume turned way up? Anything you want. He can't hear you. * * * Over 140 jokes, including Camp Crack-Ups; Cool Ghouls; Seaside Sillies; Beach Bound Biggies; and more, more, more!
101 Silly Valentine's Day Jokes for Kids
by Editors of Ulysses Press101 Silly Valentine&’s Day Jokes for Kids is filled with funny knock-knocks, lighthearted puns, and delightful gut-busters that kids will love reading, sharing, and telling.Discover the ultimate laugh-out-loud joke book for kids that's all about celebrating Valentine&’s Day! Inside, kids will find clean, fun jokes like: Why did the silly boy put clothes on the valentines he was sending? Because they needed to be ad-dressed! Why do skunks celebrate Valentine&’s Day? Because they are very scentimental. Where did Mr. Cow take Mrs. Cow on a Valentine&’s Day date? To the Moooovies! A poem for Valentine's Day: Roses are red, poppies are red, The grass is red, Oh no! My yard is on fire! What did the dubstep Valentine's Day card say? I wub you! . . . .And many more!
101 Spooky Bums
by Sam HarperA laugh-out-loud rhyming picture book, featuring 101 super spooky Halloween bums!Spooky bumHooty bumHairy bumScary bum!Find monster bums, ghost bums, vampire bums, witch bums, werewolf bums, skeleton bums and much, MUCH more in this fun-filled celebration of Halloween - with a spooktacular party finale!A bouncy read-aloud text and hilarious illustrations will get every child (and grown-up) giggling!
101 THINGS YOU and John McCain DIDN'T KNOW ABOUT SARAH PALIN
by Paula Munier Gregory BergmanHunter. Hockey mom. Live action figure.Sarah Palin is living proof that politics does indeed make strange bedfellows. In 101 Things You—and John McCain—Didn’t Know about Sarah Palin, readers learn the (alleged) truth about the (reputed) Republican darling from Alaska who’s taken the nation by (ice) storm. In this hilarious, irreverent look at the world’s most infamous Miss Congeniality, comedian and WTF? author Gregory Bergman reveals more than one hundred bizarre, obscure facts about the bizarre, obscure governor from Wasilla, including:#3 Sarah Palin supports funding for abstinence-only programs in schools. Just call her Grandma.#4 In 2007, Sarah Palin offered $150 to every hunter who hacked off the left foreleg of a wolf shot from a plane. Talk about wolves being thrown, uh, to the wolves.#12 Sarah Palin once dressed as Tina Fey for Halloween. She gained twenty IQ points and a sense of humor.101 Things You—and John McCain—Didn’t Know about Sarah Palin—because politics is funnier than fiction!
101 Thanksgiving Knock-knocks, Jokes, and Riddles
by Suzanne LordGet ready for a turkey tickling and gobbling giggly good time with 101 Thanksgiving Knock-Knocks, Jokes, and Riddles. Laugh with family and friends before, during or after Thanksgiving Dinner as you find out funny answers to questions like how to find a great turkey, how long turkeys should be cooked, why a pilgrim ate a candle, and what you get when you cross a turkey with a banjo. Pictures are described.
101 Things That Piss Me Off
by Rachel Ballinger"My old assisstent wrote a book. Preorder it cuz I fired her so now shes poor & I like doing charity 4 peple cuz I a good person" -Miranda SingsMost people might not get angry at someone for going the speed limit. Or for liking coleslaw or cantaloupe. Or for someone not responding to a ridiculously hilarious text message. Or reality show recaps. But lucky for you, Rachel Ballinger is not most people. She will yell at people and inanimate objects. Why? Because that person or thing Pissed. Her. Off. 101 Things That Piss Me Off is a quick-witted and comical collection based on Rachel's hit Youtube series "You Know What Pisses Me Off", featuring never-before-heard rants, along with photographs and illustrations to help demonstrate. Using light-hearted anger, Rachel aims to show that being heated, passionate and expressive about things we care for is important. And fun.
101 Things That Piss Me Off: And Thousands of Other Things That Suck Just As Much
by Herb W. ReichComplaining, psychologists assert, is good for your health. It acts as a relief valve to help dispel the pent up energy generated by our daily frustrations, personal peeves, and life-long vexations. Now curmudgeons, gripers, grousers, and complainers have their own place to discard their tension! 101 Things That Piss Me Off is the manifesto guaranteed to help even the crabbiest soul let loose. Here is just a sample list of items guaranteed to piss anyone off:•Aggressive drivers who give the finger•People who graduated from assertiveness courses•Elevator music•Having the best senators money can buy•Appliances that fail the day after the warranty expires•Nineteen-year-old tech millionaires•People who are more inept than we give them credit for
101 Things You - and John McCain - Didn't Know about Sarah Palin
by Gregory BergmanHunter. Hockey mom. Live action figure.Sarah Palin is living proof that politics does indeed make strange bedfellows. In 101 Things You - and John McCain - Didn’t Know about Sarah Palin, readers learn the (alleged) truth about the (reputed) Republican darling from Alaska who’s taken the nation by (ice) storm. In this hilarious, irreverent look at the world’s most infamous Miss Congeniality, comedian and WTF? author Gregory Bergman reveals more than one hundred bizarre, obscure facts about the bizarre, obscure governor from Wasilla, including:#3 Sarah Palin supports funding for abstinence-only programs in schools. Just call her Grandma.#4 In 2007, Sarah Palin offered $150 to every hunter who hacked off the left foreleg of a wolf shot from a plane. Talk about wolves being thrown, uh, to the wolves.#12 Sarah Palin once dressed as Tina Fey for Halloween. She gained twenty IQ points and a sense of humor.101 Things You - and John McCain - Didn’t Know about Sarah Palin - because politics is funnier than fiction!
101 Things to Definitely Not Do if You Want to Get a Chick
by Will ForteFrom the creator and star of Fox's hit comedy The Last Man on Earth, star of the cult film Macgruber, and beloved Saturday Night Live alum, a hilariously absurd cartoon gift book offering a wry commentary on modern relationships. In this outrageously funny and oddly wise guide to relationships, forty-five-year-old bachelor Will Forte shares his bulletproof advice for attracting-and retaining-a romantic partner of the fairer sex. Told in the form of 101 hand-drawn rules of thumb, the book takes on all the questions men are dying to know the answers to but are too afraid to ask: What activities are acceptable and not acceptable to do with a romantic interest's father? What animals, if any, should never be incorporated into foreplay? Should I claim to have collaborated with a famous poet? Combining wisdom, both practical and not, with idiosyncratic drawings so simple that even a romantically frustrated man-child could understand them, 101 Things to Definitely Not Do If You Want to Get a Chick gracefully answers these questions and ninety-eight others.
101 Things to Do with Your Christmas Elf
by Jason DeasChristmas is a magical time of the year. How often have you lain in bed, visions of sugar plums dancing through your head? Maybe you’ve began to gently drift into a dream when, suddenly, you realize . . . you didn’t move the elf!That darn elf. Making you get out of bed when you’re all snuggled up after a long day of gift-wrapping. But you know that if you don’t move it, the kids will begin to unravel the Christmas secrets you’ve worked so hard to preserve over the years! Before you know it, they’ll think Santa isn’t real and they’ll be all grown up. Fine, you say to yourself, I’ll get up and move the freakin’ elf. However, as time goes on, your kids start to notice the elf’s moving to the same spots over and over, doing the same old things. It starts to become less believable.For when you’re stuck in this predicament, author Jason Deas has developed 101 different ideas of what to do with your Christmas elf. Get St. Nick’s assistants off the shelf and into a variety of creative situations that will amaze and amuse your children:Make your elf some skis for water skiing and snow skiingSet up your elf like he’s been working out all night longPut your elf in a boat in the bathtubCreate a drum set with a few cans, pots, plastic containers, and other odds and endsHave your elf become a mechanic and fix a toy carFilled with Christmas spirit and humor, 101 Things To Do With Your Christmas Elf is your handbook to surviving December and making sure you keep your little holiday helper on the move.
101 Two-Letter Words
by Roz Chast Stephin MerrittA one-of-a-kind celebration of the 101 two-letter words allowed in Scrabble. Rolling Stone has called singer-songwriter Stephin Merritt of the Magnetic Fields "the Cole Porter of his generation"; O, The Oprah Magazine has hailed cartoonist Roz Chast as "the wryest pen since Dorothy Parker's." Together they have crafted a wonderfully witty book that is sure to prove useful to Scrabble players and Words With Friends addicts--and to delight anyone in thrall to the weirder corners of the English language. With the mordant wit and clever wordplay of Edward Gorey or Shel Silverstein, Stephin Merritt has written an original four-line rhyming poem for each of the 101 two-letter words included in The Official Scrabble Players Dictionary. Here are poems about familiar words (such as at, go, hi, no, and up) as well as obscure ones (such as aa, ka, oe, qi, xu). And every one of the 101 poems is accompanied by a full-color illustration by the incomparable cartoonist Roz Chast. 101 Two-Letter Words is perfect for any language lover or Scrabble player (it may even improve your score!).
101 Uses Of A Dead Roach
by Howard Marks Simon BondHoward Marks is king of the dope-smoking world: Mr Nice is now at a staggering half a million copies sold, and the Book of Dope Stories has sold 100,000 copies in six months. Simon Bond is a well-known cartoonist: the classic 101 Uses For A Dead Cat came out in an omnibus edition last year - twenty years after it was first published. 101 Uses For A Dead Roach will be a humour classic - 101 cartoons ranging from the sublime to the ridiculous, of how to use the un-useable part of your joint.
101 Uses for My Ex-Wife's Wedding Dress
by Kevin CotterA truly unique book about making the best of a bad situation - the hilarious true story based on Kevin Cotter's popular blog "My Ex-Wife's Wedding Dress". When Kevin's wife left him, she had no interest in grabbing her wedding dress on the way out. "What am I going to do with it?" he asked "Whatever the f**k you want," she replied. After careful consideration, he did what any newly-divorced man would do-made it into a scarecrow, pasta strainer, dental floss, and 98 other things-while posting accompanying photos, videos, and witty commentary on his website. .
101 Uses for a Maine Coon Cat
by Down East BooksThis clever and delightful little book shows that, more than just a pretty face, Maine coons can serve a wide range of duties beyond simply being your adorable companion. Whether you need a boot warmer, piano tuner, or even a dog-sitter, the coon cats in this collection are willing and ready to help out their owners in any way they can.
101 Ways to Bug Your Friends and Enemies
by Lee WardlawThe fun, wacky series is back and middle schoolers will love the third zany installment! Steve "Sneeze" Wyatt is back and muddling through typical middle school experiences in an entirely atypical way. Between dodging the meathead golf team bully and puzzling out why girls have him and his friends acting so odd, everyone struggles through the throes of friendship and first love with a distinctly Cyrano de Bergerac spin. With a hilarious ensemble cast, plenty of zingy banter, and just the right amount of gross-outs, this latest in the 101 Ways series delivers exactly what fans want, and is sure to earn new ones too.
101 Ways to Bug Your Parents
by Lee WardlawFrom the cover When his parents call off the family vacation and enroll their son in a creative writing class instead, twelve-year-old Steve comes up with a wacky moneymaking project.
101 Ways to Flip the Bird
by Jason Joseph Rick JosephSo ticked off you're at a loss for words? 101 Ways to Flip the Birdprovides 101 creative ways to express exactly how you feel. Arm yourself with the perfect bird for every occasion: Some jerk cut you off in traffic? Opt for the Classic Flip, also appropriate when protesting a bad call by a referee (see page 2). Interrupted by a rude coworker? Try the Glasses Adjuster, subtle enough to use during a business meeting (see page 26). A joker makes a snide remark about your haircut? Cup a Bird behind your ear and flip them Sorry, I'm Deaf (see page 66). Your cheap friend is hitting you up for money again? Pull Here, I've Got Something For You out of your pocket (see page 38). First date boring you half to death with inane chatter? Amuse yourself with the Thinker, a simple and pensive Bird to the chin (see page 64).
101 Ways to Torture Your Husband
by Maria Garcia-KalbHe forgot your birthday.He always leaves his socks on the floor.He&’s glued to the tube all weekend for every game.Let&’s face it: Even the best of husbands are a real pain in the ass sometimes. And when all the &“talks,&” counseling sessions and self-help books fail, there&’s only one viable recourse: torture. In this hilarious collection of clever tricks and tactics, you will learn how to put your husband in his place when you:Bury the remote in the backyardHave lunch with an exPick a fight during the gameBook a male masseuse for your next massageDelete his DVR recordingsAnd many more!Risk factors rank damage done as well as how long it&’ll take him to get over it. With the creatively wicked methods outlined in this manual, he&’ll never misbehave again!
101 enigmas de animales para resolver en 5 minutos
by Isaac PalmiolaAcompaña a Perrock Holmes y resuelve 101 enigmas sobre animales...¡en menos de cinco minutos! ¡Perrock Holmes te necesita! En una isla remota se ha desatado el CAOS: ¡todos los animales de la protectora se han escapado! Por suerte, Julia, Diego y Perrock estaban ahí y están dispuestos a encontrarlos a todos. El único problema: ¡no pueden hacerlo solos! Para ayudarlos, tendrás que seguir algunas pistas, resolver unos cuantos enigmas y descubrir todas las respuestas. ¡Aquí huele a 101 misterios! ¿Te atreves con ellos? BIENVENIDO AL MYSTERY CLUB ________________________ En este libro encontrarás: - Un nuevo caso para Perrock Holmes como nunca antes lo habías vivido - 101 enigmas sobre animales = 101 pistas para el Mystery Club - Breves textos, enigmas, juegos e ilustraciones para resolver el caso Y lo más importante: ¡Es tu oportunidad de convertirte endetective! Ayuda a Perrock Homes y conviértete en un miembro más del Mystery Club.
102 Cat and Dog Jokes
by Michael PellowskiWhere did the kittens go on their class trip? A mewseum. If you like all kinds of dogs and cats, you'll love this hilarious collection of jokes! Tell them to your friends and family - they will howl with laughter at these purrfectly funny jokes.
11 Birthdays: A Wish Novel (Willow Falls #1)
by Wendy MassIt's Amanda's 11th birthday and she is super excited---after all, 11 is so different from 10. But from the start, everything goes wrong. The worst part of it all is that she and her best friend, Leo, with whom she's shared every birthday, are on the outs and this will be the first birthday they haven't shared together. When Amanda turns in for the night, glad to have her birthday behind her, she wakes up happy for a new day. Or is it? Her birthday seems to be repeating iself. What is going on?! And how can she fix it? Only time, friendship, and a little luck will tell. . .
11 Experiments That Failed
by Jenny Offill Nancy Carpenter"This is a most joyful and clever whimsy, the kind that lightens the heart and puts a shine on the day," raved Kirkus Reviews in a starred review.Is it possible to eat snowballs doused in ketchup--and nothing else--all winter? Can a washing machine wash dishes? By reading the step-by-step instructions, kids can discover the answers to such all-important questions along with the book's curious narrator. Here are 12 "hypotheses," as well as lists of "what you need," "what to do," and "what happened" that are sure to make young readers laugh out loud as they learn how to conduct science experiments (really!). Jenny Offill and Nancy Carpenter--the ingenious pair that brought you 17 Things I'm Not Allowed to Do Anymore--have outdone themselves in this brilliant and outrageously funny book.From the Hardcover edition.
11 Points Guide to Hooking Up: Lists and Advice about First Dates, Hotties, Scandals, Pick-ups, Threesomes, and Booty Calls
by Sam GreenspanMost everyone has been, or will be, one half of a budding romantic relationship at least once-but not everyone knows how to successfully navigate those first-date butterflies, the potentially steamy bedroom scenes, and the ever-feared crushing moments of betrayal. 11 Points Guide to Hooking Up serves as a manual to dating, relationships, and sex-and is a wildly entertaining read for people who are single, taken, young, old, gay, straight, or anywhere in between. Creator Sam Greenspan blends his quirky humor, attuned sense of popular culture, and entertaining approach to produce thought-provoking lists about the ins and outs of dating. Prepare to take notes and laugh out loud with 11 Points Guide to Hooking Up.