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Gascoyne
by Stanley CrawfordA delightfully absurd blend of crime, comedy, and social commentary: &“A wild novel of black humor . . . Wonderful&” (The New York Times). Meet Gascoyne, a man who spends whole weeks in his car, eating, sleeping, and conducting his business via mobile phone. Gascoyne has found a new preoccupation―hunting down the killer of his business associate (last seen slithering away from the crime scene in a tree-sloth costume), and finding out how the southern California megalopolis has suddenly, despite all his power and prestige, slipped out of his grasp. &“A mix of Sam Spade played by Inspector Clouseau plus Howard Hughes played by Dr. Strangelove—or all of them played by Bill Murray. In 1966 Gascoyne does what everybody does now: spends most of his time in his car talking on the phone . . . Our least-known great comic novel, a novel as prophetic as it is hilarious.&” —The Austin Chronicle
Gasp of the Ghoulish Guinea Pig #7
by Simon Cooper Sam HayJoe's latest visitor needs help fast--to save his litter mates from the ghoulish grave! Flash, a guinea pig, needs Joe to guard his family from an escaped snake! Will the Protector of Undead Pets prevail, or will Flash have company for his final crossing?
Gasping for Airtime: Two Years in the Trenches of Saturday Night Live
by Jay MohrWhen 21-year-old Jay Mohr moved from New Jersey to New York City to pursue his dream of stand-up stardom, he never thought the first real job he'd land would be on Saturday Night Live. But, surprisingly, that's just what he did. What followed were two unbelievable, grueling, and exciting years of feverishly keeping pace with his talented cohorts, out-maneuvering the notorious vices that claimed the lives of other cast members, and struggling at all costs for the holy grail of late-night show business: airtime.In Gasping for Airtime, Jay offers an intimate account of the inner workings of Saturday Night Live. He also dishes on the guest hosts (John Travolta, Shannen Doherty, Charles Barkley), the musical guests (Kurt Cobain, Steven Tyler, Eric Clapton), and of course his SNL castmates (Chris Farley, Adam Sandler, Mike Myers, and David Spade). Refreshingly honest and laugh-out-loud funny, this book will appeal both to fans of Jay Mohr and to devotees of Saturday Night Live.
Gate Crashers
by Patrick S. Tomlinson“Tomlinson’s well-plotted tale of first contact pinballs between hard science-fiction and hilarity, delivering a thrilling yarn.” —Matt Forbeck, New York Times–bestselling authorThe only thing as infinite and expansive as the universe is humanity’s unquestionable ability to make bad decisions.Humankind ventures further into the galaxy than ever before . . . and immediately causes an intergalactic incident. In their infinite wisdom, the crew of the exploration vessel Magellan, or as she prefers “Maggie,” decides to bring the alien structure they just found back to Earth. The only problem? The aliens are awfully fond of that structure.A planet full of bumbling, highly evolved primates has just put itself on a collision course with a far wider, and more hostile, galaxy that is stranger than anyone can possibly imagine.“Taut, funny, and human, Gate Crashers takes us from zero to FTL in seconds flat.” —Max Gladstone, coauthor of This Is How You Lose the Time War“A well-drawn ensemble cast of scientists, soldiers, and aliens enriches this quirky first-contact tale.” —Kirkus Reviews
Gatecrasher: How I Helped the Rich Become Famous and Ruin the World
by Ben WiddicombeA smart, gossipy, and very funny examination of celebrity culture from New York&’s premiere social columnist. Ben Widdicombe is the only writer to have worked for Page Six, TMZ, and The New York Times—an unusual Triple Crown that allowed him personal access to the full gamut of Hollywood and high society&’s rich and famous, from billionaires like Rupert Murdoch, Donald Trump, and the Koch brothers, to pop culture icons Kim Kardashian and Paris Hilton. Now, in Gatecrasher, New York&’s premiere gossip-turned-society writer spills the sensational stories that never made it to print. Widdicombe has appeared at nearly every gossip-worthy venue—from the Oscars and the Hamptons, to the Met Gala and Mar-a-Lago—and has rubbed elbows with a dizzying array of celebrities (and wannabes), and he whisks us past the clipboard and velvet rope to teach us the golden rules of gatecrashing, dishing on dozens of boldface names along the way. Widdicombe shares secrets for how to crash the parties, climb the ladder, avoid the paparazzi, or make small talk with Henry Kissinger and Anna Wintour. Endlessly fun and extremely telling, Gatecrasher makes the unnerving argument that Paris Hilton conquering pop culture two decades ago lead to Donald Trump winning the White House. &“As the gossip pages go, so goes the country,&” he says.
Gator A-Go-Go
by Tim DorseyThat's right: Serge and Coleman do spring break! It's been a long time coming, but they're at the party now-and you'll never look at a Frisbee the same way again. One spring break location obviously isn't enough for Serge, so he must hit them all, traveling through various historic locales, spewing nuggets of history at anyone who won't run away and dispensing his own signature brand of Sunshine State justice. Along the way he and his sidekick, Coleman, attract a growing following of the nation's top college students . . . and a mysterious gang that leaves a trail of young bodies in their wake. Are the kids safer under Serge's protection? Or does being with him put them in more peril? The classroom and the pot brownies never prepared them for this. Which raises more questions: Who's the guy studying satellite photos? Where did the protected witness go? When did Coleman get all those trophies? Why are the Feds hot on everyone's trail? How did the burnt corpse end up by the pool? What's the best way to keep beer cool on the beach? Then there are the coke smugglers gone legit and a pair of the most dangerously sexy bartenders to ever mix a rum runner. Throw in some dirty dancing contests, illicit drugs, rockin' tunes, screamin' sports cars, bungee rides, pawned class rings, and church breakfasts, and you've got a potent concoction that keeps the hotel's concierge up all night stopping people from falling off the balconies. Want even more? Serge says, "You got it!" After years of quiet, a legendary Miami kingpin from the anything-goes eighties is suddenly back in the news . . . along with one of the state's most psychotic homicidal monsters, every bit as criminally insane as Serge-except without the morals. The mysteries continue to mount: How did Coleman end up with even more disciples than Serge? Can kids successfully climb fences while carrying pizzas? Will Serge survive the carnage, armed with a GPS and a kiddie pool? All will soon be answered-and of course every last moment is caught on tape as Serge creates his most excellent documentary ever, the making of Gator A-Go-Go. Pack the cooler, load the car, and head to where the water is warm for a spring vacation you won't soon forget-no matter how much you might try!
Gatos Zombis
by Jack D. McLeanLos gatos y sus humanos siempre han vivido pacíficamente juntos: los antiguos egipcios los adoraban, se han escrito musicales sobre ellos, Internet va gaga para ellos. ¡Zuomcats! arroja todo eso a la bandeja de arena de la vida. Esta no es una historia de zombis lindo y tierno gatito. ¡Los Zucodes de Jack D. McLean! hace por los felinos mimosos lo que el clásico de terror de James Herbert, The Rats, hizo por los roedores. Es un caos violento, con horrores con sátira salvaje y humor oscuro diabólico. La acción comienza en la primera página y no se detiene hasta el impactante clímax al final. Y cuando las 9 vidas de los Zomcats están en marcha, regresan de entre los muertos.
Gaunty's Best of British: It's Called Great Britain, Not Rubbish Britain
by Jon GauntGaunty's Best of British is one man's cheerful look at what's right - and what's wrong - with his country, and a brilliantly entertaining guide to how Britain can be Great again. Jon Gaunt embarks on a tour of the best bits of this green and pleasant land, celebrating all things British. His forthright tribute is an aptly eclectic collection, covering everything from cricket, foxhunting and the FA Cup, to great inventions like the Spitfire, the Mini and the miniskirt, and our unofficial national cuisine of fish and chips washed down with a cup of tea or a pint of real ale. Whether you live in Coventry or Cambridge, Liverpool or London, now is the time to join Gaunty and start shouting about this fantastic country and what makes it so Great.
Gawky: Tales of an Extra Long Awkward Phase
by Margot LeitmanSome tall girls grow up to have perfect posture and are later seen gracing the pages of magazines. Some are natural athletes with toned legs that mask their overlarge feet. Then there are other tall girls: the ones who are always tripping over themselves; who never look normal in any size of clothing; who literally don't fit in.Comedian Margot Leitman was one of these awkward giants, and Gawky is the painfully funny chronicle of her experiences growing up tall. Reaching five feet six inches in fourth grade--and approaching six feet in high school--Leitman realized early on that she'd always stand out from the crowd. To cope, she developed a thick skin and a sharp sense of humor, and instead of forever trying to blend in, she decided to embrace her center-of-attention status. Leitman wears funky, Ziggy Stardust-era jumpsuits (in the 90s); takes up any cause she can find (whether saving the public beaches or protesting prom); and generally makes as much use of her big presence as humanly possible.Leitman's memoir is a hilarious celebration of growing up gangly. Endearing and encouraging, Gawky is a cathartic release of everything awkward girls endure--and a tribute to a youth larger than life.
Gay Haiku
by Joel DerfnerImpossible to resist, this hilariously sassy and sweet collection of haiku turns the perilous sport of gay dating into pure poetry. For hundreds of years, the Japanese haiku has been equated with peaceful contemplation and spiritual enlightenment. A delicate balance of rhythm and line, the haiku has provided countless readers with an appreciation of the changing of the seasons and the miracles of nature. Now, in Gay Haiku, readers can finally appreciate more important things--like the changing of boyfriends and the miracles of shopping. Irresistible and irreverent, this collection of one hundred and ten witty and wicked short poems captures the many dating disasters of first-time author Joel Derfner. In a wonderfully fresh and original voice, Derfner shamelessly mines his personal life to send up such broad-ranging topics as gay pop culture, politics, family, sex, and, of course, home decorating. Gay, straight, or undecided, readers will delight in Derfner's dry sense of humor and unmistakable charm as he tackles the big questions of life.
Gay Men Don't Get Fat
by Simon DoonanSimon Doonan knows that when it comes to style, the gays are the chosen people. A second anthropological truth comes to him midway through a turkey burger with no bun, at an otherwise hetero barbecue: Do the straight people have any idea how many calories are in the guacamole? In this hilarious discourse on and guide to the well-lived life, Doonan goes far beyond the secrets to eating like the French--he proves that gay men really are French women, from their delight in fashion, to their brilliant choices in accessories and décor, to their awe-inspiring ability to limit calorie intake. A Gucci-wearing Margaret Mead at heart, Doonan offers his own inimitable life experiences and uncanny insights into makes gay people driven to live every day feeling their best, and proves that they have just as much--and possibly better--wisdom, advice, and inspiration beyond the same old diet and exercise tips. So put down that bag of Pirate's Booty and pick up this fierce and fabulous book. From slimming jaunts through Capri in the evening to an intrepid "Bear" hunt (if you have to ask, you have to read this book and find out for yourself), Gay Men Don't Get Fat is the ultimate approach to a glamorous lifestyle--plus, you are guaranteed to laugh away the pounds! .
Gay Science: The Totally Scientific Examination of LGBTQ+ Culture, Myths, and Stereotypes
by Rob AndersonNew York Times BestsellerComedian Rob Anderson examines queer stereotypes and LGBTQ+ culture with humorous explanations borrowed from real principles across multiple fields of science.Class is in session, babe! Discover the inner workings of the LGBTQ+ community with this humorous and informative book. Author and comedian Rob Anderson borrows the familiar science textbook format to skewer ridiculous queer stereotypes with his own version of science.Using the principles of natural, social, and formal sciences, Rob answers extremely serious questions like: Why can&’t gays sit in a chair properly? Why don&’t lesbians have electricity in their movies? Are colleges turning people bisexual? How does gaydar work? Will bottoms survive the apocalypse? You&’ll read about the three subtypes of the gay uncle species, examine the Periodic Table of LGBTQ+ Elements, understand gay crime and punishment, and get educated on the types of bacteria and viruses that exclusively affect the LGBTQs, like the state of Florida.Inspired by his viral &“Gay Science&” series, Rob recreates some of his most popular episodes in a literary format, and also tackles completely fresh subjects, presenting them with super empirical and totally evidence-based homosexual data.Gay Science includes:Coverage of 60 topics across 29 fields of science including biology, chemistry, physics, genetics, botany, nutrition, astronomy, anthropology, oceanography, sociology, criminology, engineering, computer science, and more!Informative sidebars including Get PrePared, The Tea, Serving Conclusions, The Gloss, Yas or Naur, Fagtoids, and A Lesbian Explains.Diagrams, charts, illustrations, and maps to explain the gayest concepts.Rob Anderson is course-correcting decades of educational shortcomings by explaining the scientific reasonings behind every aspect of LGBTQ+ life. If you&’re looking for a fun book that will probably be banned (if it isn&’t already), add Gay Science to your personal lesson plan.
Gecko Gladiator (S.W.I.T.C.H. #12)
by Ali SparkesJosh and Danny are stuck in Princess Land—a store full of pink toys and worse: actual girls! To avoid security guards and screeching girls, the twins try a quick spritz of the infamous S.W.I.T.C.H. formula. But the spray only half-works! They are stuck with the head of a lizard and the body of a boy. Then their situation takes a nasty turn...
Gee You’re Smart
by Joseph DeGraziaMeet Emma, an extraordinary little girl with a big brain and an even bigger heart! Emma loves solving puzzles, asking questions, and exploring the world around her. Her curiosity and cleverness always lead to exciting adventures.But what happens when Emma faces a challenge she doesn&’t know the answer to? Can her quick thinking and creativity help her solve the mystery, or will she need to ask for help from her friends?Join Emma on a delightful journey filled with fun, laughter, and a few surprises along the way. This story celebrates learning, friendship, and the magic that happens when we explore new things. Perfect for young readers who love to discover the world.Gee You&’re Smart is a heartwarming tale that will inspire and entertain. Can you guess what clever solution Emma will come up with next? Dive into the pages and find out!
Geeger the Robot Goes to School: Geeger the Robot (QUIX)
by Jarrett LernerAmelia Bedelia meets James Patterson&’s House of Robots series in the adventures of Geeger, a robot who goes to school for the very first time, in the first story in a new, fun-to-read Aladdin QUIX chapter book series that&’s perfect for emerging readers!Geeger the Robot is going to school. But not robot school…a school with kids, the human kind! Geeger isn&’t used to human ways, and his zany misunderstandings and overly literal responses to instructions lead to quite a few mishaps. He&’s starting to wonder if he can even make it until snack time! Will a bot made of wires, nuts, and bolts fit in with a classroom of kids?
Geek Chic: The Zoey Zone
by Margie PalatiniMeet ZoeyAge: Eleven. Well, almost eleven. Backspace. Halfway to eleven.Factoid: 198 days to sixth grade. Problem: Coolability (see glossary inside). Connect the dots: A bad hair situation . . . Growing earlobes . . .Wanted:1. A fairy godmother.2. A molto chic makeover[molto = very in Italian].3. A seat at the primo lunch table.[Primo is also Italian. It means best.]The solution:Tune in!
Geek Guardians: Recess Revolution (Geek Guardians)
by Michael FryJoin oddball outsiders Nick, Molly, and Karl in a hilarious middle-school illustrated novel adventure full of awkwardness and missteps as they strive to be seen in a world that would prefer they stay invisible.Nick is the shortest seventh-grader in the history of the world (he&’s pretty sure), he doesn&’t fit in with any groups or clubs (who needs &’em?), and he spends more time inside than outside his locker (they&’re roomier than you&’d think). Things only get worse when a well intentioned guidance counselor forces Nick to join the school&’s lamest club—along with fellow misfits Molly and Karl—in her quest to cure all three of their &“peer allergies.&” What starts off as a reluctant band of hopeless oddballs morphs into an effective and empowered team ready to face whatever middle school throws at them, including bullies, awkward romance, zany adults, and a brave new world of surprising friendships. Renowned cartoonist Michael Fry brings an unforgettable cast of characters to life in this illustrated novel brimming with honesty, humor, and heart.This ebook was previously published as Odd Squad: Bully Bait.
Geek Lust: Pop Culture, Gadgets, and Other Desires of the Likeable Modern Geek
by Alex LangleyGet Your Geek On! Unless you're horndog Howard Wolowitz from The Big Bang Theory, the words "geek" and "lust" are seldom found in the same sentence. Until now, bub. Whether it's the most recent tweet from Felicia Day, the newest book from Terry Pratchett, or the latest anything from Joss Whedon, the world is a smoking hot, happening place for Geeks. Geek Lust, a humorous celebration of Geekdom's frenzied desires, heats it up like 1.21 Giga-Suns. It spotlights some of the awesomest real and fictional geeks in history, including Einstein, Madame Curie, Nerdist Chris Hardwick, and Steve Urkel (!); features classic science fiction and horror stories; the greatest experiences to have playing video games; gadgets gone wild; various top lists such as the hottest cryptids; and things from Star Wars that could be euphemisms for your genitals. If you yearn for time travel, robotics and cloning; if Kirk still captains your imagination; and if, when all is said and done, you still can't decide between Linda Carter's Wonder Woman or Lucy Lawless's Xena, Warrior Princess, welcome to Geek Lust. And by the way, is it hot in here or did the next-generation iPhone just drop?
Geek Magnet
by Kieran ScottEverybody loves KJ. Especially the geeks. See, KJ Miller is super nice, smart, pretty, the stage manager of her high school's spring musical . . . and a total geek magnet. She's like the geek pied piper of Washington High, drawing every socially clueless guy in a five-mile radius. If only Cameron, the hottest guy in school, would follow her around and worship her the way her entourage of dorks do. Enter Tama Gold, queen of the popular crowd, and solution to all of KJ's problems. KJ is too nice, and the nice girl never gets the guy. Tama's ready to help KJ get cruel, ditch the dorks, and win Cameron's heart. But is KJ?
Geek Wisdom: The Sacred Teachings of Nerd Culture
by N. K. Jemisin Genevieve Valentine Eric San Juan Zaki HasanThe essential companion for the geek era: a fusion of inspirational quotes, philosophy, and pop culture drawn from the entire cult-classic canon of film, TV, books, comics, and science. Celebrate nerd culture by taking a page out of your all-time favorites, like Star Wars and Star Trek, The Lord of the Rings and Dune—and much more! Computer nerds are our titans of industry; comic-book superheroes are our Hollywood idols; the Internet is our night on the town. Clearly, geeks know something about life in the 21st century that other folks don&’t—something we all can learn from. Geek Wisdom takes as gospel some 200 of the most powerful and oft-cited quotes from movies (&“Where we&’re going, we don&’t need roads&”), television (&“Now we know—and knowing is half the battle&”), literature (&“All that is gold does not glitter&”), games, science, the Internet, and more. Now these beloved pearls of modern-day culture have been painstakingly interpreted by a diverse team of hardcore nerds with their imaginations turned up to 11. Yes, this collection of mini-essays is by, for, and about geeks—but it&’s just so surprisingly profound, the rest of us would have to be dorks not to read it. So say we all.
Geeked Out: A Lame New World (Geeked Out Ser. #1)
by Obert SkyeBook 1 in a post-apocalyptic diary fiction odyssey!Waddle Jr. High has become a dystopian outpost with divided cliques—Pepville, Jockstown, Staffland, and even Geekdom. Society may be in danger but middle school must go on. Enter geeky Tip and all his friends: easy-to-blush Owen, coding master Xennipher, and brilliant, dependable Mindy, who've all had enough of being bullied and decide to take a stand. Together, they form a secret vigilante group: the League of Average Mediocre Entities, better known as LAME. With everything that’s going on in the world, their school could use a few heroes. And what if those heroes were geeked-up superheroes? Get ready. Better yet, get LAME! This irrepressible spoof series is full of the same clever humor and hilarious cartoon illustrations as the Creature From My Closet series, but for a slightly older middle-grade audience. This has Common Core connections.Christy Ottaviano Books
Geekerella: A Fangirl Fairy Tale (Once Upon A Con #1)
by Ashley PostonCinderella goes to the con in this fandom-fueled twist on the classic fairy tale. Part romance, part love letter to nerd culture, and all totally adorbs, Geekerella is a fairy tale for anyone who believes in the magic of fandom. <P><P>Geek girl Elle Wittimer lives and breathes Starfield, the classic sci-fi series she grew up watching with her late father. So when she sees a cosplay contest for a new Starfield movie, she has to enter. The prize? <P><P>An invitation to the ExcelsiCon Cosplay Ball, and a meet-and-greet with the actor slated to play Federation Prince Carmindor in the reboot. With savings from her gig at the Magic Pumpkin food truck (and her dad’s old costume), Elle’s determined to win…unless her stepsisters get there first. <P><P>Teen actor Darien Freeman used to live for cons—before he was famous. Now they’re nothing but autographs and awkward meet-and-greets. Playing Carmindor is all he’s ever wanted, but the Starfield fandom has written him off as just another dumb heartthrob. <P><P>As ExcelsiCon draws near, Darien feels more and more like a fake—until he meets a girl who shows him otherwise.
Geekomancy (Ree Reyes #1)
by Michael R. UnderwoodClerks meets Buffy the Vampire the Slayer in this original urban fantasy eBook about Geekomancers--humans that derive supernatural powers from pop culture. Ree Reyes's life was easier when all she had to worry about was scraping together tips from her gig as a barista and comicshop slave to pursue her ambitions as a screenwriter. When a scruffy-looking guy storms into the shop looking for a comic like his life depends on it, Ree writes it off as just another day in the land of the geeks. Until a gigantic "BOOM!" echoes from the alley a minute later, and Ree follows the rabbit hole down into her town's magical flip-side. Here, astral cowboy hackers fight trolls, rubber-suited werewolves, and elegant Gothic Lolita witches while wielding nostalgia-powered props. Ree joins Eastwood (aka Scruffy Guy), investigating a mysterious string of teen suicides as she tries to recover from her own drag-your-heart-through-jagged-glass breakup. But as she digs deeper, Ree discovers Eastwood may not be the knight-in-cardboard armor she thought. Will Ree be able to stop the suicides, save Eastwood from himself, and somehow keep her job?
Geeks Who Drink Presents: 100 Bar Trivia Questions You Should Know (And the Unexpected Stories Behind the Answers)
by Christopher D. Short100 hilarious essays, based on blindingly obvious questions, from the creators of Geeks Who Drink—led by six-time Jeopardy! champion, Christopher D. Short.The best trivia questions are usually the ones that are right on the tip of your tongue—so obvious that you may not know the answer offhand, but you should. In Duh, America’s foremost masters of pub quiz, Geeks Who Drink, will take trivia lovers on a voyage through 100 of our face-palmiest questions. Along the way, we’ll explore the blind hills and corners that make random knowledge so much fun. In hilarious, informative, bite-size essays, we’ll explore such not-really-mysteries as: -How many stars are on the Texas state flag? -Odlaw is the nemesis of what kid book character? -What’s the last word in the King James Bible? Even if you already know the “what”—and you might not!—we’ll fill in the “why.” And the when, where, and how. By the end you may feel dumber, but you’ll be smarter. We almost guarantee it! By the way, that would be one (lone) star, Waldo, and “Amen.” Duh!
Geektastic: Stories from the Nerd Herd
by Holly Black Cecil CastellucciAcclaimed authors Holly Black (Ironside) and Cecil Castellucci (Boy Proof) have united in geekdom to edit short stories from some of the best selling and most promising geeks in young adult literature: M.T. Anderson, Libba Bray, Cassandra Clare, John Green, Tracy Lynn, Cynthia and Greg Leitich Smith, David Levithan, Kelly Link, Barry Lyga, Wendy Mass, Garth Nix, Scott Westerfield, Lisa Yee, and Sara Zarr.With illustrated interstitials from comic book artists Hope Larson and Bryan Lee O'Malley, Geektastic covers all things geeky, from Klingons and Jedi Knights to fan fiction, theater geeks, and cosplayers. Whether you're a former, current, or future geek, or if you just want to get in touch with your inner geek, Geektastic will help you get your geek on!