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Get In!: Football according to Mark Goldbridge
by Mark GoldbridgeIt doesn't really matter who you support. Football is a cruel, cruel game. All of us fans have had moments of shock, disappointment, and feeling like a right knobhead. We want our teams to play like winners who’ll fight for the badge to their last breath. More often, there's so many clowns on the pitch we think the circus is in town. We've endured abject surrenders in the pissing down rain, watched multi-millionaire managers lose the plot, and signed players who couldn't pass a parcel, all to the sound of Michael Owen's 'expert' analysis. Season after bloody season. It stings so much your team might as well be sponsored by Dettol. Why do we do it to ourselves?There’s a lot to love I guess. Nothing will ever emulate the high that a major win or seeing your team lift a trophy brings. Take Manchester United winning the treble: footballing perfection. And nothing else will ever come close. Life doesn’t get any better than that.As I talk you through everything from transfers to trophies to touchline tantrums, join me as I give my definitive take on football. There's a lot to get through, so take my hand like an over-eager mascot and walk with me out of the tunnel into the glaring floodlights of what it means to be a fan……and how to survive it.
Get Lost with You: A Novel (Rock Bottom Love)
by Sophie SullivanA second chance at love, small-town romance that’s all sweet with just a hint of heat from the “queen of sweet romance” (Falon Ballard) Sophie Sullivan.Jillian Keller took the long route to her best life, but is now happily settled in her hometown of Smile, raising her little girl alone while helping her brother run Get Lost Lodge. A lover of structure and routine, she doesn’t need anyone disrupting her carefully curated life. After chasing and achieving his culinary dreams, Levi Bright realizes he’s still missing something he can’t find in a big city. Returning home to Smile, he intends to build a different future for himself, including reconnecting with family and friends, and creating elevated comfort food for a town he loves. When Levi and Jilly run into each other, past feelings that never had a chance to bloom flare between them… but she’s been hurt before, and falling for her older brother’s best friend seems like a recipe for drama. But sometimes, a second chance at love leads you right where you’re meant to be.
Get Lost, Odysseus!
by Kate Mcmullan Kevin KeeleThe Trojan War is over, but now Odysseus has to find his way home to Ithaca . . . and in typical fashion, he's angered Poseidon enough that the sea-god has decided to make his journey miserable (if not impossible). But Hades has a soft spot for the long-gone warrior, so even if he's sworn to Poseidon he won't help Odysseus directly, he might be able to pull a few strings . . .
Get Lucky: A Novel
by Katherine CenterHow do you change your luck? Katherine Center's marvelously entertaining and poignant new novel is about choosing to look for happiness--and maybe getting lucky enough to find it. Sarah Harper isn't sure if the stupid decisions she sometimes makes are good choices in disguise--or if they're really just stupid. But either way, after forwarding an inappropriate email to her entire company, she suddenly finds herself out of a job. So she goes home to Houston--and her sister, Mackie--for Thanksgiving. But before Sarah can share her troubles with her sister, she learns that Mackie has some woes of her own: After years of trying, Mackie's given up on having a baby--and plans to sell on eBay the entire nursery she's set up. Which gives Sarah a brilliant idea--an idea that could fix everyone's problems. An idea that gives Sarah the chance to take care of her big sister for once--instead of the other way around. But nothing worthwhile is ever easy. After a decade away, Sarah is forced to confront one ghost from her past after another: the father she's lost touch with, the memories of her mother, the sweet guy she dumped horribly in high school. Soon everything that matters is on the line--and Sarah can only hope that by changing her life she has changed her luck, too.From the Trade Paperback edition.
Get Me Out of Here!
by Phil Earle Andy McNabIt's all fun and games until you lose cell service. When an epic class trip to "Wild Out," an Outward Bound-like adventure weekend involving rock climbing, kayaking, and zip lining, is announced, Danny Mack and his best friends are thrilled. But when one of the teachers gets sick and Danny's mean older brother volunteers to chaperone, the weekend seems doomed to be a disaster.When the group arrives at the campground, they discover that they'll be sleeping in tents instead of cabins, milking cows for their breakfast oatmeal, and using a toilet without modern plumbing OR TOILET PAPER. Not at all the adventure they thought it would be.Bestselling author Andy McNab and award-winning author Phil Earle join forces for the very first time, and the results are hilarious! Brilliantly illustrated by Robin Boydon, Get Me Out of Here! is full of laughs and heart, but at its core, it's a story of friendship, resilience, and determination.
Get Me Out of This Book: Rules and Tools for Being Brave
by Kalli Dakos Deborah Cholette"GET ME OUT OF THIS BOOK!" shouts Max. Max is a scaredy-cat bookmark until he learns 3 rules for being brave--breathe deeply, make a plan, and think positive thoughts!When Max the bookmark went into a scary book, he couldn't LOOK and he SHOOK and he SCREAMED, "GET ME OUT OF THIS BOOK!"Then he learned to (1) breathe deeply, (2) make a plan, and (3) think positive thoughts--techniques used by the Navy SEALs. Max put his new tools into practice and now he's brave enough to face a snake, yucky bugs, and even a seven-headed monster!This humorous story packs a big punch as it introduces children to mindfulness, self-regulation, self-control, and other techniques for dealing with stress and overcoming fear. Every copy of Get Me Out of This Book! comes with its very own pull-out Max the Bookmark. He's ready to hold your place in any book and remind you of the rules and tools--just in case things get too scary.
Get Me Through the Next Five Minutes: Odes to Being Alive
by James Parker"Parker is articulate and provocative, seeing the poetry in the ordinary and the wonderful in the world." —Kirkus Reviews (starred review) "Parker offers some loose advice for living (give money to panhandlers whole-heartedly, because doing so means participating in ‘the same divine economy that big-banged you into being’), but is at his best when poring over life’s strange resonances…pays vivid homage to the beauty of the mundane." —Publishers Weekly (starred review) From the vertiginously talented James Parker, a collection of uproarious odes that show how to find gratitude in unexpected places. Our politics are broken; our world is melting; the next catastrophe looms. Enter James Parker, who for years now has been writing odes of appreciation on subjects from the seemingly minor (“Ode to Naps”) to the unexpected (“Ode to Giving People Money”) to the seemingly minor, unexpected, and hyperspecific (“Ode to Running in Movies”). Finally collecting Parker’s beloved and much-lauded odes in one place, this volume demonstrates the profound power of the form. Each ode is an exercise in gratitude. Each celebrates the permanent susceptibility of everyday humdrum life to dazzling saturations of divine light: the squirrel in the street, the crying baby, the misplaced cup of tea. Parker’s odes are songs of praise, but with a decent amount of complaining in there, too: a human ratio of moans. Varied in length but unified in tone, mostly in prose, sometimes toppling into verse, the odes range across music, movies, literature, psychology, and beyond, all through the lens of Parker’s personal history. Gathered together, they form an accidental how-to guide to honoring your own experience—and to finding your own odes.
Get Off Your Ass and Run!: A Tough-Love Running Program for Losing the Excuses and the Weight
by Ruth FieldIs there a large ass-shaped dent in your sofa? A gym membership burning a hole in your bank account? Does the sight of your wobbly thighs leave you cowering under a blanket? Straight-talking, funny, and brutally honest, Get Off Your Ass and Run! will give you—yes, you—the push you need to get out of the door, up and running, and shedding pounds in no time. Hate running? No worries. Get Off Your Ass and Run! provides all the tools you need to transform that passion into real motivation. In just six easy steps, you will:• Locate your long-lost energy and get moving • Follow a simple and completely foolproof beginner’s program • Learn to fuel your new running habit with the right foods • Take control of your life! If you want to lose weight, get fit, and embrace a completely new way of being, there’s only one thing left to do...RUN!
Get Off the Grid!: Saul Goodman's Guide to Staying Off the Radar
by Steve HuffSo you want to disappear? Whether you got the fuzz on your back or a price on your head, Saul Goodman can help!Big Brother’s got eyes everywhere—don’t pretend they’re not all watching you. Nowadays you’d better assume anything you do is already on the 24/7 news feed, but there are measures you can take. Darken your windows. Bash your smartphone. Cut up your credit cards. But first, buy this book. From the cunning counsel (me) who kept you out of the slammer with his handy manual Don’t Go to Jail!, here’s your escape plan for busting out of the prison of modern surveillance. You might be up to no good or you might be up to nothing at all—hey, it’s not my business, and let me tell you, it’s nobody else’s business, either. My business is making sure it stays your business. An unlisted phone number is no longer enough. I want to help you find your inner alias. I want to show you your dream safe house. I don’t want to hear about you on the Internet. Get Off the Grid! can do all of this and more. It’s your one down-to-earth guide on going to ground, and not just that: it’s the best vanishing act you’ll never see!
Get Out of Bed (Tell Me A Story)
by Robert MunschAmy's mother, father, brother, and the school principal use very unusual measures to try to get the sleepy girl out of bed.
Get Out of There, Cat!
by Sam Stall Kristina KnappBased on the popular blog of the same name, Get Out of There, Cat! is a hilarious book featuring humorous captions paired with 150 full-color photos of cats where they do not belong: hanging out in the dryer, sleeping in trees, taking bubble baths , eating Sun Chips, and more.
Get Rich Cheating: The Crooked Path to Easy Street
by Jeff KreislerIn these difficult times, there's only one proven path to ridiculous amounts of money: Cheating. Everyone's doing it—from sleazy CEOs to 'roided-up home run kings, silicone-enhanced starlets, and backroom-dealing congressmen—so why not you? Get Rich Cheating is your definitive guide to the illegal, immoral, and fun, detailing the schemes that have proven time and time again to generate more cash than God, Google, and the Treasury combined. No one ever bought a fleet of Bentleys with hard work, perseverance, and honesty. Simply by purchasing this book, you've already done more than most "ethical" people dare. Open it, savor the moment, and inhale deeply in the musk of your impending wealth—it's time to Get Rich Cheating.
Get Rich Quick: Book 5 (Horrid Henry #5)
by Francesca SimonNumber One for Fiendish Fun!This book contains a not-so-great escape, an egg-and-spoon race, a money-making scheme and an AWFUL cousin! Four utterly hilarious and totally brilliant Horrid Henry stories by Francesca Simon, with illustrations by Tony Ross. An irresistible introduction to reading for pleasure.
Get Smart-ish: Book 2 (The League of Unexceptional Children #2)
by Gitty DaneshvariHilarious action adventure for readers aged 8 and up, featuring the world's most unexceptional spies. You think spies are clever and cool and mysterious? Think again . . .When readers met twelve-year-olds Jonathan and Shelley, they had just been recruited to join the League of Unexceptional Children. This covert spy network is comprised solely of kids who are so average and nondescript that they are utterly forgettable, and who makes a better spy than a kid no one remembers?To everyone's surprise, Jonathan and Shelley saved the day in Book 1, and as a result they have been loaned to MI5: the United Kingdom's leading spy organization. The kids' mission is to recapture a missing vial of LIQ-15, a virus that makes people lose IQ points. Relying on only their complete lack of skill, Jonathan and Shelley must once again stop an evil plan in its tracks.In a sequel that gives readers more of the spy tricks and adventure they love but that can stand on its own as a complete mystery, Get Smart-ish is a laugh-out-loud story starring two exceptionally unexceptional characters.
Get Started in Stand-Up Comedy
by Logan MurrayA new edition of Be A Great Stand-Up, now fully revised and updated with new material on setting up and running a comedy night and mining almost any subject for jokes. Logan Murray has successfully taught the techniques of stand-up comedy to thousands, and in this book he distils his years of experience into the essential skills for a great and enjoyable performance. He will help you find your creative streak and your funny side, build the confidence to deliver, and explain the finer details of stagecraft, from dealing with hecklers to coping with props. There is a full guide to the practicalities, from finding gigs to securing an agent, with plenty of valuable hints, tips and advice. Drawing on Logan's years of teaching and his own successful stand-up career, with top tips from some of the most well-known people in the business, it is guaranteed to bring a smile to both your face and that of your future audience. As well as full updates throughout the book, this new edition contains fresh material on how to set up and run a comedy night, mine any subject for jokes and advice on festivals.
Get Started in Stand-Up Comedy
by Logan MurrayLEARN HOW TO WRITE AND PERFORM STAND UP COMEDY.A new edition of Be A Great Stand-Up, now fully revised and updated with new material on setting up and running a comedy night and mining almost any subject for jokes.Logan Murray has successfully taught the techniques of stand-up comedy to thousands, and in this book he distills his years of experience into the essential skills for a great and enjoyable performance. He will help you find your creative streak and your funny side, build the confidence to deliver, and explain the finer details of stagecraft, from dealing with hecklers to coping with props. There is a full guide to the practicalities, from finding gigs to securing an agent, with plenty of valuable hints, tips and advice. Drawing on Logan's years of teaching and his own successful stand-up career, with top tips from some of the most well-known people in the business, it is guaranteed to bring a smile to both your face and that of your future audience.As well as full updates throughout the book, this new edition contains fresh material on how to set up and run a comedy night, mine any subject for jokes and advice on festivals.ABOUT THE SERIESThe Teach Yourself Creative Writing series helps aspiring authors tell their story. Covering a range of genres from science fiction and romantic novels, to illustrated children's books and comedy, this series is packed with advice, exercises and tips for unlocking creativity and improving your writing. And because we know how daunting the blank page can be, we set up the Just Write online community at tyjustwrite, for budding authors and successful writers to connect and share.
Get The F*ck Out Your Own Way: A Guide to Letting Go of the Sh*t that's Holding You Back
by MJ HarrisAmazon Editors Pick for Best Biographies & MemoirsIt ain&’t easy getting your shit together, but this book is the solution. And Tabitha Brown says, &“you can trust him.&” If any of this sounds like you, it&’s best you start reading this book now! You seek more fulfilling relationships and dating experiences You&’re ready to shake off shame about past mistakes and step into your power You want to say &“see ya&” to the toxic people and emotional gut-punchers Your &“people pleaser&” days are over and it&’s time to learn how to effectively say no MJ Harris has got a lot of &“best friends&”—over five million to be exact. His hilarious, straightforward, raw advice has made him the go-to person across social media for everything you need to know about getting your shit together. MJ knows you need help—whether financial, spiritual, or in a relationship—but because you never learned how to properly handle the hurt and anger you&’ve experienced in the past, it has become the emotional trash in the way of being your best self. Don&’t nobody want that! Whether it&’s fixing your family issues, relationships, situationships, money, or frenemies, MJ offers sage advice about how to stop blocking yourself from bigger and better. This isn&’t your gentle guide on breathing or journaling. MJ serves up no holds barred principles on how to navigate your emotions that will help you disrupt cycles of trauma, create boundaries, and transform into a goddess of emotional wholeness. Get the F*ck Out Your Own Way will help you learn how make better decisions that will set you on the right path for a happier emotional life once and for all.
Get Together
by Miguel OrdonezThe whole is definitely equal to more than its parts in this board book of shape-by-shape construction of animals by New York Times Bestselling illustrator Miguel Ordóñez!A cast of animal characters are formed one by one, piece by piece in this visual play on the interaction between shapes. If just three simple shapes can combine to create a fish, then four shapes make a...? Young readers are invited to guess before turning the page to reveal the latest animal added to the pack. Part guessing game, part visual narrative, young readers will follow along as shapes are added to build new characters, and laugh along as the existing cast attempts to build something of their own. With humor, anticipation, and possibility on every page, this board book encourages creativity and proves that anything is possible when taken piece by piece.
Get Well Soon
by Frank Wynne Marie-Sabine RogerA joyful novel full of humanity from the author of Soft in the Head - a July 2016 Indie Next pick.Saved from drowning in Paris's River Seine, a sixty-something misanthrope finds himself stuck in a hospital bed for six weeks while he recovers. As he looks back on his life, the good and the bad, he makes some unexpected new acquaintances, and just when he thought life had no more suprises in store for him, he finds out he was wrong....
Get Well, Crabby!: An Acorn Book (A Crabby Book)
by Jonathan FenskeTake a sick day with the ocean's crankiest crab!Pick a book. Grow a Reader!This series is part of Scholastic's early reader line, Acorn, aimed at children who are learning to read. With easy-to-read text, a short-story format, plenty of humor, and full-color artwork on every page, these books will boost reading confidence and fluency. Acorn books plant a love of reading and help readers grow!Oh no! Crabby doesn't feel well, and Plankton is determined to play doctor. But Plankton's ideas aren't always the most helpful. He takes his own temperature, wraps Crabby in bandages, and caters to Crabby's increasingly outrageous demands. Will Crabby get better before Plankton finally loses his cool?This timely story addresses a concern on every child's mind -- how can we help when our friends are sick? With comic speech bubbles and full-color artwork throughout, Geisel Award Honoree Jonathan Fenske's early reader series is sure to be a hit with new readers!
Get Well, Curious George (Curious George)
by H. A. ReyPoor George isn’t feeling well. With a sniffling nose and a sore throat, there's not much to do besides cuddle up on the couch with some favorite books, games, and movies. The doctor tells him to drink plenty of fluids and get some rest. But when he has to postpone his play date with his friend Sam, George comes up with the perfect plan to get well soon.
Get Well, Good Knight (Penguin Young Readers, Level 3)
by Shelley Moore ThomasThe much-heralded Good Knight is back-only this time his three little dragon friends are sick in bed. Their scaly foreheads are hot and their noses are drip-drip-dripping. They feel awful. The Good Knight comes to the rescue again! He brings them some slimy, grimy soup from the wizard to make them feel better. But the dragons wont touch it. What is a Good Knight to do?
Get Well, Pug: A Branches Story (Diary of a Pug)
by Kyla MayThe twelfth Branches early chapter book featuring everyone's favorite pug, Bub, and his human, Bella!Pick a book. Grow a Reader!This series is part of Scholastic's early chapter book line, Branches, aimed at newly independent readers. With easy-to-read text, high-interest content, fast-paced plots, and illustrations on every page, these books will boost reading confidence and stamina. Branches books help readers grow!Bub is so excited to perform in Bella's pet choir with Duchess and Luna. But then Bub hurts his leg and he has to wear a BIG BAD CONE! He's crushed that the cone doesn't match his costume. Can Bub's friends convince him that the show must go on?With full-color artwork throughout, this funny and charming diary-format early chapter book is perfect for anyone who believes a furry pal is the best kind of friend.
Get Your Act Together, Doris Kozlowski
by Jo DabrowskiDoris Kozlowski's life is anything but normal. Her mum plays singing vegetables in TV commercials. Her little brother befriends pebbles and potatoes. And don't even get her started on her babcia.But Doris is good at pretending to be just like everyone else, and she has a plan to get through Year Six: keep her head down, keep her family away from the school, and keep her best and only friend, the perfect Felicity.So when Felicity ditches her for the popular girls before their first class even starts, Doris needs a new plan. She figures if she can win the talent show, Felicity will want to be friends again, and Doris can get her life back.That is, if her babcia stops trying to 'help'. And if her mum avoids more embarrassing commercials. And if her brother manages to keep her secrets.Who is she kidding? Doris is DOOMED.
Get Your Act Together, Doris Kozlowski
by Jo DabrowskiDoris Kozlowski's life is anything but normal. Her mum plays singing vegetables in TV commercials. Her little brother befriends pebbles and potatoes. And don't even get her started on her babcia.But Doris is good at pretending to be just like everyone else, and she has a plan to get through Year Six: keep her head down, keep her family away from the school, and keep her best and only friend, the perfect Felicity.So when Felicity ditches her for the popular girls before their first class even starts, Doris needs a new plan. She figures if she can win the talent show, Felicity will want to be friends again, and Doris can get her life back.That is, if her babcia stops trying to 'help'. And if her mum avoids more embarrassing commercials. And if her brother manages to keep her secrets.Who is she kidding? Doris is DOOMED.