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Goodnight Dorm Room: All the Advice I Wish I Got Before Going to College
by Keith Riegert Samuel Kaplan“This grown-up parody of Goodnight Moon focuses heavily on college specifics, like what classes to pick . . . and what to pack vs. what to leave behind.” —WDSU NewsYou’re off to college—it’s gonna be life-changing! Follow this book’s advice to make it amazing! This bittersweet and humorous guide to college life features practical tips combined with funny, full color illustrations. You’ll learn:How to survive orientationWhy to choose courses that you’ll loveHow TAs can save your brainWhy flip flops are a mustHow often to change your sheetsWhere to make new friendsHow to balance class and funAnd more!!!
Goodnight Nanny-Cam: A Parody for Modern Parents
by Lizzy Ratner Jen Nessel&“Goodnight Moon has been hilariously updated for the modern parent.&”—BuzzfeedWhen the text of Goodnight Nanny-Cam appeared online in the New Yorker&’s &“Shouts & Murmurs&” column, it garnered 100,000 hits and more than 15,000 Facebook likes in a matter of days. Filled with sly references to BPA-free bottles, Baby Einstein DVDs, and toddler tutors, Jen Nessel and Lizzy Ratner&’s send-up of the beloved children&’s classic wittily skewers our modern culture of over-parenting. Parodies of Goodnight Moon are always popular, and Goodnight Nanny-cam is a gorgeously illustrated gift that&’s guaranteed to have alpha parents everywhere laughing—and cringing—in recognition.
Goodnight Nobody
by Jennifer WeinerNew York Times bestselling author Jennifer Weiner’s unforgettable story of adjusting to suburbia—and all the surprises hidden behind its doors. For Kate Klein, a semi-accidental mother of three, suburbia has been full of unpleasant surprises. Her once-loving husband is hardly ever home. The super-mommies on the playground routinely snub her. Her days are spent carpooling and enduring endless games of Candy Land, and at night, most of her orgasms are of the do-it-yourself variety. When a fellow mother is murdered, Kate finds that the unsolved mystery is the most exciting thing to happen in Upchurch, Connecticut, since her neighbors broke ground for a guesthouse and cracked their septic tank. Even though the local police chief warns her that crime-fighting's a job best left to the professionals, Kate launches an unofficial investigation—from 8:45 to 11:30 on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays, when her kids are in nursery school. As Kate is drawn deeper into the murdered woman's past, she begins to uncover the secrets and lies behind Upchurch's picket-fence facade—and considers the choices and compromises all modern women make as they navigate between marriage and independence, small towns and big cities, being a mother and having a life of one's own.
Goodnight Trump: A Parody
by Erich Origen Gan GolanTurn out the lights on another endless day in Trump's America with this parody of Goodnight Moon by the bestselling duo behind Goodnight Bush -- putting to bed America's most yugely bad president ever. In the very classy room There was a golden mirror And a silver spoon And a broadcast of -- A half-baked story from a fake newsroom . . .Parodying the soothing incantations of Goodnight Moon by Margaret Wise Brown with illustrations by Clement Hurd, GOODNIGHT TRUMP opens in the very classy golden bedroom of the White House, where it is bedtime for the 45th President of the United States. In this wickedly funny update to the bedtime classic, readers can encourage this very stable genius to bid a gentle goodnight to some of his favorite things, including his stuffed animal (what else but a Playboy bunny), his best friends from Russia, his Twitter feed, and his 12-pack of Diet Coke. GOODNIGHT TRUMP is a perfect gift for those who lean to the left -- offering readers the chance to put America's man-child-in-chief to bed early, so children everywhere can have sweet dreams without fear of being torn from their homes and families.
Goodnight iPad: a Parody for the next generation
by Ann DroydA parody of the children's classic and a hilarious gift for anyone that finds modern life funny and absurd.In a bright buzzing room, in the glow of the moon-and iPhones and Androids and Blackberries too-it is time to say goodnight...Modern life is abuzz. There are huge LCD WiFi HD TVs and Facebook requests and thumbs tapping texts and new viral clips of cats doing flips. Wouldn't it be nice to say goodnight to all that? Like the rest of us who cannot resist just a few more scrolls and clicks, you may find yourself ready for bed while still clinging to your electronics long after dark. This book, which is made of paper, is a reminder for the child in all of us to power down at the end of the day. This hilarious parody not only pokes loving fun at the bygone quiet of the original classic, but also at our modern plugged-in lives. It will make you laugh, and it will also help you put yourself and your machines to sleep. Don't worry, though. Your gadgets will be waiting for you, fully charged, in the morning.
Goodnight, Good Dog
by Mary Lyn Ray&“A satisfying picture book that&’s just right for bedtime reading&” from the New York Times–bestselling author of Stars (Booklist). It&’s time to say goodnight. But what if a dog isn&’t sleepy? Intimate and accessible, this young dog story captures how a reluctant pup warms to bedtime in a way that children will recognize immediately—and find as reassuring as their own beds. &“This effective bedtime story reminds kids that fun will be had again when they wake—but first comes sleep.&” —Horn Book &“Sure to be shelved next to Goodnight, Moon. It deserves that rarefied spot.&” —Kirkus Reviews (starred review)
Goodnight, Mr Panda (Mr Panda #4)
by Steve AntonyA hilarious Mr Panda picture book, about the importance of doing the Bedtime Routine properly!Mr Panda and his friends are getting ready for bed. But some won't brush their teeth, others won't have a bath, and one won't even wear pyjamas! It's down to Mr Panda to show them how to do bedtime properly. "The perfect read to enjoy with little critters who are less than enthusiastic about going to bed. It's completely charming and full of fun." WRD booksLook out for more books starring the grumpy (but loveable!) Mr Panda. Over half a million copies sold to date!Please Mr PandaThank You Mr PandaI'll Wait Mr PandaMr Panda's ColoursMr Panda's Feelings
Goodnight, Mr. Clutterbuck
by Mauri KunnasFrom the award-winning Mauri Kunnas, Finland's most celebrated children's author, a hilarious picture book which follows the adventures of a sleepwalking goat. Mr. Clutterbuck, a mild-mannered goat, sleepwalks his way into unimaginable adventures: one night the lead singer of a rock band, the next an entrepreneur, Mr. Clutterbuck soon finds himself the hero of his town. A book that will send readers of all ages into fits of laughter.Mr. Clutterbuck is blissfully unaware of his reputation as the busiest and loudest sleepwalker in town. Meek and mild-mannered when awake, at night Mr. Clutterbuck seeks thrills and adventures. Often the accidental instigator of chaos, Mr. Clutterbuck soon becomes the lead singer of a rock band, an entrepreneur, a disco king, and, eventually, the hero of his town. Goodnight, Mr. Clutterbuck is sure to captivate readers of all ages as we wonder what kind of situation Mr. Clutterbuck will find himself in next. With a lively tapestry of characters, including a motorcycle gang of cats and crocodiles, a hippo in charge of a sausage factory, and an ill-tempered bull at a theme park, Mauri Kunnas playfully shows what can happen when you step outside your comfort zone.
Goofballs #3: Superhero Silliness
by Tony Abbott Colleen MaddenJeff, Mara, Brian, and Kelly are Goofballs and proud of it. Goofball private eyes. Together, they solve mysteries. How do they discover the truth? They use funny disguises (dressing up in aluminum foil), nutty inventions (dropped notes the bad guys must stop to read), and their secret weapon: Sparky the Goofdog!When super-rich kid Randall Crandall asks the Goofballs to help him protect his world-famous collection from a notorious thief, they can't wait to get started. Randall's hosting a superhero party, and the detectives will have to blend in to sniff out the criminal. Crazy costumes and off-the-wall schemes mean this is going to be the Goofballs' goofiest mystery yet.
Goofballs #4: The Mysterious Talent Show Mystery
by Tony Abbott Colleen MaddenThe Badger Point School is holding a talent show, and the Goofballs - sleuths Jeff Bunter, Mara Lubin, Kelly Smitts, and Brian Rooney - are set to be its stars. That is if the show even happens, with problems and mysteries at every turn. A giant pink tuba goes missing, the costumes are all the wrong size, and the talent show's director disappears before the cast's eyes. Good thing that the Goofballs are expert detectives. Funny, punny, and full of fun, this latest case in the Goofballs series will be eagerly devoured by old and new fans, alike.
Goofballs #5: The Ha-Ha-Haunting of Hyde House
by Tony Abbott Colleen MaddenFans of Dav Pilkey's The Adventure of Ook and Gluke and Paricia Reilly Giff's ZigZag Kids series will flock to this chapterbook series full of slapstick humor and silly situations by the wildly popular Tony Abbott, author of The Secrets of Droon Series.When the Goofballs--Jeff, Brian, Mara, and Kelly--hear about a house that might be haunted, where someone disappeared years before, it sounds like the perfect case for them to solve on Halloween. But they'll need their best sleuthing skills and, of course, the help of the Goofdog, because this may be their silliest--and scariest--mystery yet!
Goofballs #6: The Crazy Classroom Caper
by Tony Abbott Colleen MaddenFans of Dav Pilkey's The Adventures of Ook and Glook and Patricia Reilly Giff's ZigZag Kids will flock to this chapter-book mystery series full of slapstick humor and silly situations by the wildly popular Tony Abbott, author of the Secrets of Droon series. Jeff, Mara, Brian, and Kelly are Goofballs and proud of it. Goofball private eyes. Together, they solve mysteries. How do they discover the truth? They use funny disguises, nutty inventions, and their secret weapon: Sparky the Goofdog!Objects have been disappearing from Ms. Becker's kindergarten classroom - blocks, an easel, even the class goldfish! Luckily, the Goofballs are ready to go undercover to help their former teacher learn the truth. But posing as teachers is hard work, especially when the entire class may be as smart as Kelly, as observant as Jeff, as creative as Mara, and as goofy as Brian. Everyone's a suspect, and every time the Goofballs turn their backs, something else vanishes. Soon, the whole classroom will be gone!Have the Goofballs been out-goofed? These young sleuths have never failed so solve a case, and they don't intend to start now!
Goofy, Movie Star
by Disney Book GroupFrom Walt Disney's Classic Storybook, this retelling of Goofy, Movie Star features Goofy, an easygoing fellow from Hollywood, who loves watching movies. So when Goofy's hilarious laugh accidentally catches the attention of Mr. Big Shot at a film studio, Goofy quickly becomes a famous movie star! But is life in the fast lane really what Goofy wants?
Googol Boy: And the peculiar incident of the Great Quiz Trophy (Googol Boy)
by John MichaelWhen an unassuming, rather clueless teenager is zapped by lightning while working on his computer, he absorbs all the information off the internet and his (very) ordinary brain starts to exhibit extraordinary potential. As Howie struggles to control his new-found power he is faced with all sorts of hilarious predicaments, from contending with mega-mean teachers to being ridiculed by the school braniac, a petite know-it-all determined to humiliate him. Can Howie overcome the enormous obstacles before him to defeat his annoying arch-nemesis and solve the peculiar mystery of the stolen Great Quiz Trophy?
Gooney Bird Greene
by Lois Lowry Middy ThomasFrom the moment Gooney Bird Greene arrives at Watertower Elementary School, her fellow second-graders are intrigued by her unique sense of style and her unusual lunches. So when story time arrives, the choice is unanimous: they want to hear about Gooney Bird Greene. And that suits her just fine, because, as it turns out, Gooney Bird has quite a few interesting and "absolutely true" stories to tell.Through Gooney Bird and her tales, acclaimed author Lois Lowry introduces young readers to the concepts and elements of storytelling. By demonstrating some of the simple techniques that reveal the extraordinary in everyday events, this book will encourage the storyteller in everyone.
Gooney Bird Is So Absurd
by Lois LowryThe fourth hilarious title in Lowis Lowry's popular Gooney Birdseries! It’s a cold January at the Watertower Elementary School--the perfect weather for Gooney Bird Greene to break out her special brain-warming hat! It's a good thing she has one. Gooney Bird's brain will need to be as warm as possible this month, because Mrs. Pidgeon is teaching her class about poetry. Who knew there could be so many different ways to write a poem? Haikus, couplets, limericks-Mrs. Pidgeon’s students soon find that writing good poetry takes a lot of hard work and creative thinking. Gooney Bird and her classmates are up to the challenge. But just when things are going well, the kids get some terrible news. Gooney Bird will need all the inspiration her brain can muster to organize the most important poem the class has ever written.
Gooney Bird and All Her Charms
by Lois Lowry Middy Thomas"It's March!" Mrs. Pidgeon said as she wrote the day's date on the chalkboard. "In like a lion, out like a lamb!" The morning bell has rung at Watertower Elementary School, and it's time for Mrs. Pidgeon's class to turn to page 52 in their science books to learn about one of the most spectacular scientific subjects of all--the human body! As usual, Gooney Bird has a special plan to make learning more fun. But what on earth is in that scary-looking box that her uncle, Dr. Oglethorpe, has brought to the second grade? And what does it have to do with the charms on Gooney's jingling silver bracelet? It looks as if another special story is in the works!
Gooney Bird on the Map (Gooney Bird Greene #5)
by Lois Lowry Middy ThomasGooney Bird Greene returns for more adventures in this chapter-book series from two-time Newbery Medal-winner Lois Lowry. Mrs. Pidgeon's second grade class has a lot to celebrate in February: presidents' birthdays, Valentine's Day, and school vacation. Of course, the students are talking about their awesome vacation plans every chance they get. It can be hard to focus on subtraction problems when you're heading to Hawaii or Florida in seventeen minus seven days!But most of the class (twelve minus three of them, in fact) will be staying home during vacation.Can Gooney Bird Greene keep spirits up while everyone is feeling down? Gooney Bird has a great idea that sends her classmates and her on a snowy spin through U.S. history and geography!
Gooney the Fabulous
by Lois LowryMrs. Pidgeon has been reading Aesop's fables to her second grade class. What's a fable? Well, it's a story that has animals as characters, and it teaches you something important, and . . . Once again it is Gooney Bird Greene who knows how to turn lessons into fun. She has an idea. A fabulous idea! What if each child creates his or her own fable, and tells it to the class? One by one Mrs. Pidgeon's students create costumes and stories and morals and excitement. Everyone except Nicholas. What on earth is making Nicholas so unhappy? Leave it to Gooney Bird, of course, to help him solve his problem . . . in a truly fabulous way.
Goose the Bear
by Katja GehrmannBear got more than he bargained for when he accidentally ran into Fox. Little did he know, Bear had picked up Fox's stolen goose egg. Soon, the egg hatches and Bear finds himself holding a confused little gosling that's calling him "Mama." <P><P>Try as he might to convince the little goose he's not its mother, the goose sticks around. Bear tries to show the goose that he's not its mother by climbing, running, and swimming away, but Goose is there every step of the way, climbing, running, and swimming just as well as Bear. But, Fox is lurking the whole time, waiting to take back his "prize." Just as Bear begins to accept Goose as his own, Fox makes his move. Will Fox get Goose, or will "Goose the Bear" make "Mama" proud?In this quirky mix-up at its finest, Katja Gehrmann tells the heartwarming and species-confused story of Goose the Bear with the help of colorful, offbeat illustrations and a narrative to match. If you want to be a bear, be a bear-even if you're a goose.
Goosebumps The Movie: The Movie Novel
by R. L. Stine ScholasticTHE GOOSEBUMPS MOVIE captures the chills, thrills, and giggles of Scholastic's original bestselling series. Jack Black stars as author R. L. Stine. Zach, 16, has just moved from NYC to a creepy small town. He soon realizes his new neighbor, Hannah (also 16), is in danger. When he tries to rescue her, he accidentally unleashes the monsters created and brought to life by her writer father, R.L. Stine. Now it's up to Zach, Hannah, and Stine to get the monsters back in their books where they belong. Can they stop the monsters... for good?
Goosebumps Wanted: The Haunted Mask (Goosebumps)
by R. L. StineFor the first time ever, Goosebumps is in hard cover! Catch the series' most notorious characters--undead or alive... From horror master R.L. Stine come two new chilling stories in one spooky standalone: The Haunted Mask has returned and is determined to make this the worst night of your life! Where's the last place you would want to get stuck? A haunted pumpkin patch where the jack o'lanterns are after you! And watch for Goosebumps: Most Wanted, an all-new paperback series coming in the fall.
Gordon's Game: The hilarious rugby adventure book for children aged 9-12 who love sport
by Paul Howard Gordon D'ArcyA rugby-mad boy. A huge game. And a chance for an epic win . . . or an epic fail!Gordon D'Arcy is an ordinary boy, but he's not so ordinary once he gets a rugby ball in his hands. He's the star player for Wexford Wanderers and dreams of one day wearing the Ireland jersey. A dream like that means hard work, raw talent and never losing sight of your goals.But Gordon has a wild streak that often lands him in trouble. Mum and Dad think that if he can just channel his energy, all will be well. Then something utterly mad happens and he gets a chance to live his biggest dream. Can he stay on his game and do everyone proud? Or will trouble follow him . . . like it usually does? Gordon's Game is a funny and inspiring adventure for rugby lovers of all ages!'A cracking read . . . which will appeal to all the family' Irish Country Magazine
Gordon’s Game: Blue Thunder
by Paul Howard Gordon D'ArcyGordon is back for more mayhem and mischief in the second book in the laugh-out-loud Gordon's Game series!__________Gordon D'Arcy - the only kid at school with a Six Nations medal hidden under his pillow! Though helping Ireland to win the Grand Slam feels like it was just a dream.Now, he's been given a brand new challenge - the chance to play for Leinster.After learning so many lessons playing for Ireland - including how to make a complete eejit of himself in front of millions of people - fitting in at Leinster should be a breeze. Right?Unfortunately, not. After his first training session, he sees why the team is mocked for being 'soft' (those stories about players wearing fake tan? All true!). Now he knows why so many people from Leinster support Munster.But Gordon settles down to work under an inspiring coach named Joe Schmidt. Joe promises that, with hard work, discipline and a bit of self-belief, Leinster can win the European Cup.Maybe another dream can come true!
Gordon’s Game: Third in the hilarious rugby adventure series for 9-to-12-year-olds who love sport
by Paul Howard Gordon D'ArcyGordon is back again for his biggest challenge yet in the third book of the hilarious Gordon's Game series!__________Gordon D'Arcy has achieved a lot in his short life. He has won the Six Nations with Ireland and the European Cup with Leinster.Not bad for a boy who's still at school!Now, he has a brand-new opportunity - the chance to play for the famous British and Irish Lions as they tour South Africa. But before he can get on the plane, he must overcome the injury that threatens to end his career, and make the difficult choice between rugby and friendship.Gordon has to help Clive Woodward pull off a series win against South Africa and their fearsome forwards - the notorious Bomb Squad.And he certainly has to keep his wits about him when he finds himself in a wildlife reserve, surrounded by animals that want to eat him for dinner!Is another dream about to come true for Gordon D'Arcy? Or has this young Lion finally bitten off more than he can chew?