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Go the F**k to Sleep: Go The Fuck To Sleep, You Have To Fucking Eat And Fuck, Now There Are Two Of You
by Adam MansbachThe #1 New York Times Bestseller: &“A hilarious take on that age-old problem: getting the beloved child to go to sleep&” (NPR).&“Hell no, you can&’t go to the bathroom. You know where you can go? The f**k to sleep.&”Go the Fuck to Sleep is a book for parents who live in the real world, where a few snoozing kitties and cutesy rhymes don&’t always send a toddler sailing blissfully off to dreamland. Profane, affectionate, and radically honest, it captures the familiar—and unspoken—tribulations of putting your little angel down for the night. Read by a host of celebrities, from Samuel L. Jackson to Jennifer Garner, this subversively funny bestselling storybook will not actually put your kids to sleep, but it will leave you laughing so hard you won&’t care.
Go the F**k to Sleep
by Adam Mansbach Ricardo CortésGo the Fuck to Sleep is a bedtime book for parents who live in the real world, where a few snoozing kitties and cutesy rhymes don't always send a toddler sailing blissfully off to dreamland. Profane, affectionate, and radically honest, it captures the familiar--and unspoken--tribulations of putting your little angel down for the night. Beautiful, subversive, and pants-wettingly funny, Go the Fuck to Sleep is a book for parents new, old, and expectant. You probably should not read it to your children.
Go the Fuck to Sleep
by Ricardo Cortés Adam Mansbach"Nothing has driven home a certain truth about my generation, which is approaching the apex of its childbearing years, quite like this."--The New Yorker"A parenting zeitgeist"--Washington Post"A hilarious take on that age-old problem: getting the beloved child to go to sleep."--National Public Radio"A new Bible for weary parents"--New York Times"Resonates powerfully with almost everyone"--Boston Globe"Go the F*** to Sleep challenges stereotypes, opens up prototypes, and acknowledges that shared sense of failure that comes to all parents who weary of ever getting their darling(s) to sleep and briefly resuming the illusion of a life of their own."--Midwest Book ReviewGo the F*** to Sleep is a bedtime book for parents who live in the real world, where a few snoozing kitties and cutesy rhymes don't always send a toddler sailing blissfully off to dreamland. Profane, affectionate, and radically honest, California Book Award-winning author Adam Mansbach's verses perfectly capture the familiar--and unspoken--tribulations of putting your little angel down for the night. In the process, they open up a conversation about parenting, granting us permission to admit our frustrations, and laugh at their absurdity.With illustrations by Ricardo Cortes, Go the F*** to Sleep is beautiful, subversive, and pants-wettingly funny--a book for parents new, old, and expectant. You probably should not read it to your children.Seriously, Just Go to Sleep, a children's book inspired by Go the F*** to Sleep and appropriate for kids of all ages, is forthcoming from Akashic Books in April 2012 and available NOW for pre-order.
The Go the Fuck to Sleep Box Set: Go The Fuck To Sleep, You Have To Fucking Eat And Fuck, Now There Are Two Of You
by Adam MansbachCelebrating a decade of profane, loving, and deeply cathartic children’s books for adults, the entire Go the Fuck to Sleep trilogy is finally available in a collectors’-edition boxed set. "You've probably heard of the book Go the F**k to Sleep and its two sequels—You Have to F**king Eat and F**k, Now There Are Two of You. But did you know it's been a full decade since the first book become a brilliant and hilarious phenomenon?"—Fatherly TEN YEARS AGO, Adam Mansbach crystallized the secret agony of parents the world over with one simple phrase: Go the Fuck to Sleep. In verses that perfectly capture the familiar tribulations of putting your little angel down for the night, the book opened up a conversation about parenting, granting us permission to admit our frustrations, and laugh at their absurdity . . . and the message only resonated louder when Samuel L. Jackson, the bard of the F-word, read the audiobook. You Have to Fucking Eat expanded the conversation to include parenthood's other universal frustration: getting your little angel to eat something that even vaguely resembles a normal meal, with Bryan Cranston voicing the audiobook . . . and because life moves pretty fast, Fuck, Now There Are Two of You soon became necessary, to address the fact that two is, somehow, a million more kids than one—with Larry David doing the audiobook honors. And now, to celebrate a decade of profane, loving, and deeply cathartic children's books for adults, the entire trilogy is finally available in a collectors'-edition boxed set, perfect for gifting at a baby shower or using to knock yourself unconscious. As always . . . you probably should not read these books to a child.
Go to Hell
by Kyra Thompson Chuck CrisafulliClose your eyes and picture -- just for a moment -- hell. Fire? Demons? Eternal torment? Well, yes -- that's the place, in one very hot nutshell. But that's not all there is to the forbidding world beneath us. For a few millennia now, we mortals have imagined and reimagined hell in countless ways: as a realm of damnation, as an inspiration for highest art, as a setting for the lowest of lowbrow comedy. One might conclude that for all our good intentions to enter para- dise, we can't seem to get enough vivid details of its counterpart, hell. Provocative, colorful, and damned entertaining, Go to Hell takes readers on a tour of the underworld that is both darkly comical and seriously informative. From the frozen hell of the Vikings to the sun-drenched Cayman Islands' town of Hell (where tourists line up to have their postcards aptly postmarked), from Dante's circles of hell to Buffy the Vampire Slayer's Hellmouth, Go to Hell embraces our evolving relationship with the sinner's final destination, revealing how we truly think of ourselves in this world. What's down below? Meet HEL, the hideous, half-rotting goddess of the Viking underworld. Beware the Egyptians' AM-MUT, an unsightly mix of lion, crocodile, and hippo parts, and insatiably hungry for wicked souls. Visit JIGOKU, a Buddhist realm of eight fiery hells and eight icy hells: an all-you-can-suffer hot-and-cold buffet. Step into the INFERNO for a tour of Dante's nine circles of the damned...
Go to Sleep (I Miss You): Cartoons from the Fog of New Parenthood
by Lucy KnisleyAn irresistable and hilarious collection of New York Times bestselling author Lucy Knisley's cartoons about new motherhood.Lucy Knisley is one of the great memoirists of the graphic novel format. Following the completion of her pregnancy memoir Kid Gloves (and the birth of her baby), Lucy embarked on a new project: documenting new motherhood in short, spontaneous little cartoons, which she posted on her Instagram, and which quickly gained her a huge cult following among other moms. The best of those wildly popular little cartoons are collected in this adorable gift book, Go to Sleep (I Miss You), a perfect read for expecting parents, new parents, and anyone who loves funny, relatable comics storytelling.
Go to Wizard's Wharf (WOMBATS!)
by Maddie FrostAlbert and Pickles--a lovable yet unlikely pair of besties--return in the second installment of Maddie Frost's early reader graphic novel series, Wombats!; perfect for fans who laughed out loud reading Baloney and Friends, Narwhal and Jelly, and Cookie and Broccoli!Pickles decides it's time to make good on an IOU that Albert forgot he gave him four years ago and requests that they take a trip to Wizard's Wharf! Albert begrudingly agrees to accompany his best friend, but amusement parks aren't really his thing. Pickles is determined to make Albert feel the magic around him, but even after exploring all the rides, games, mazes, and prizes that Wizard's Wharf has to offer, Albert still isn't as wowed by this environment as his friend is. Albert doesn't want his practicality to ruin his friend's IOU day, so they continue exploring the park and run into their friend and neighbor, Platters, who's working as a ride mechanic. Platters offers to take them on a tour of a top secret ride that's still under construction, but when the ride has a slight malfunction and the three of them are separated, Albert and Pickles will have to rely on how well they know each other, and maybe even a little magic, to help them find their way out.
Go Tweet Yourself: 365 Reasons Why Twitter, Facebook, MySpace, and Other Social Networking Sites Suck
by Janelle RandazzaFlip Twitter the bird.Tell Facebook to f#@% off.Lose it on LinkedIn.Somewhere between the advent of Facebook and launching Twitter to the masses, the Internet betrayed us. It allowed pages to be viewed by job interviewers, newsfeeds to be flooded by Aunt Julie, and for constant tweets about what color socks that random girl from the study group is going to wear today.This book is the hilarious reply all that says: enough is enough. We don’t want to see the pictures from your business trip to Omaha. We don’t want a page-by-page account of what’s going on in Twilight. We definitely don’t want a virtual drink!When you can’t fix the problem, fix the blame. And since there’s no way in 2.0-hell that you can put an end to the bastardization of the Book, you may as well have a good laugh while pointing the finger at those who ruined their online experience.
Go Tweet Yourself
by Janelle RandazzaFlip Twitter the bird. Tell Facebook to f#@% off. Lose it on LinkedIn. Somewhere between the advent of Facebook and launching Twitter to the masses, the Internet betrayed us. It allowed pages to be viewed by job interviewers, newsfeeds to be flooded by Aunt Julie, and for constant tweets about what color socks that random girl from the study group is going to wear today. This book is the hilarious reply all that says: enough isenough. Wedon'twant to see the pictures from your business trip to Omaha. Wedon'twant a page-by-page account of what's going on inTwilight. We definitelydon'twant a virtual drink! When you can't fix the problem, fix the blame. And since there's no way in 2. 0-hell that you can put an end to the bastardization of the Book, you may as well have a good laugh while pointing the finger at those who ruined their online experience.
Go with the Flow
by Karen Schneemann Lily WilliamsHigh school students embark on a crash course of friendship, female empowerment, and women's health issues in Lily Williams and Karen Schneemann's graphic novel Go With the Flow. Good friends help you go with the flow.Best friends help you start a revolution.Sophomores Abby, Brit, Christine, and Sasha are fed up. Hazelton High never has enough tampons. Or pads. Or adults who will listen. Sick of an administration that puts football before female health, the girls confront a world that shrugs—or worse, squirms—at the thought of a menstruation revolution. They band together to make a change. It’s no easy task, especially while grappling with everything from crushes to trig to JV track but they have each other’s backs. That is, until one of the girls goes rogue, testing the limits of their friendship and pushing the friends to question the power of their own voices.Now they must learn to work together to raise each other up. But how to you stand your ground while raising bloody hell?
Goat in a Boat: An Acorn Book (Frog and Dog #2)
by Janee TraslerFrog, Dog, and Goat find ways to stay dry in the rain, in this rhyming laugh-out-loud series for beginning readers!National Cartoonists Society Winner for Best Book IllustrationPick a book. Grow a Reader!This series is part of Scholastic's early reader line, Acorn, aimed at children who are learning to read. With easy-to-read text, a short-story format, plenty of humor, and full-color artwork on every page, these books will boost reading confidence and fluency. Acorn books plant a love of reading and help readers grow!Frog and Dog are playing in the sun with Goat. But Goat is wearing a raincoat! Dog laughs at Goat's coat. But when it starts to rain, Goat is very glad to have a coat... and a boat. Will Goat let Dog onto the boat? Discover this silly friendship series perfect for beginning readers, from author-illustrator Janee Trasler. Told in three short stories with rhyming text, simple vocabulary, and colorful artwork, this is the just-right book to grow confidence in young readers!
The Goat, the Sofa & Mr Swami
by R ChandrashekharA politically weighted cricket match between Pakistan and India provides the setting for the hilarious farce, set in a delightful `Yes Minister? format. The Pakistani Premier's sudden decision to invite himself to a cricket series to be played in India creates uncertainly, panic and bureaucratic gamesmanship in New Delhi. Seemingly above such mundane concerns, India's elderly Prime Minister, devoted to movies, scotch, and late mornings, adds to the confusion with random utterances and occasional temper tantrums. His official factotum, a bureaucrat named Swami, plays the confusion for all it is worth, attempting to advance his career and settle old scores. Old rivalries between the Foreign Service and the domestic bureaucrats flare up as the day of the Pakistani Premier's visit approaches. Matters get stalled as rival departments choose to hide behind arcane laws. Conscious of his place in history and of the damage a botched visit would cause, the Prime Minister stages his own protests. Swami is forced to chart a treacherous course between his political and bureaucratic masters. A parable rooted in the absurdities of modern India, this novel takes a light-hearted dig at the pretensions of people who matter.
The Gobbler
by Adrian EdmondsonJulian Mann, the hard drinking, preening, and sexually provocative star of the TV sitcome Richard the Nerd, feels caught on the horns of a dilemma: should he be concentrating on his career, which is on the slide after an unseemly bout of fisticuffs at the BAFTA awards; or following his baser instincts and bedding every young girl in sight?His twin dreams of comic immortality and a penthouse flat full of booze and young models seem to be frustrated by his wife and children; by Tom, his wife's best friend from university days, a pretentious 'National Theatre Player' who appears to be competing with Julian on the small sreen and in the bedroom; by the tax man, who's chasing him for sixty thousand pounds; and by Lillith, a psychotic fan, and member of a strange Herculean cult whose eight-year cycle of death and regeneration might augur Julian's imminent nemesis...
Goblin Monday (Goosebumps House of Shivers)
by R. L. StineGoosebumps now on Disney+!Mario Galagos is joining his best friends Todd and Jewel on their annual holiday visit to snowy Vermont. Everything looks picture perfect at first. But then Mario finds a small statue of a strange, ugly creature in the garden and brings it inside. Little does he know the stone creature is actually a real, live goblin. By bringing it inside, Mario has just started a war with all of its hideous goblin friends!
Goblins!
by Royce BuckinghamWhile cruising through the woods in a ?borrowed? police car, PJ and Sam accidentally hit what looks like a mutant gorilla with a bad attitude. But this is no ape?it?s a goblin, escaped from the city of Argh in UnderEarth, a place beneath the world?s surface. When Sam is captured by a gang of goblins, PJ must go after him. But can PJ save Sam before he becomes dinner for a bunch of hungry goblins? .
Goblins
by Philip ReeveFrom the acclaimed author of Mortal Engines, “a great romp through fantasy and fable . . . that, in the end, proves the power of friendship” (School Library Journal).Welcome to a wild world of magical creatures and heroic adventure! The squabbling goblins that live in the great towers of Clovenstone spend their time fighting and looting. Only clever young Skarper (who happens to be in exile) understands that dark magic created by a vanquished sorcerer is rising again. With the help of a wannabe-hero, a middle-aged princess, and a few bumbling wizards, Skarper must fight to save their world.“You know you are in the hands of a master storyteller when a dangerous yet frivolous fantasy world is brought to life with such imagination that it not only entertains and amuses—it actually seems real and makes its own curious sense . . . Goblins is an utterly charming delight and children will love it.” —The Telegraph“A delightful romp through towers, passageways, marshes, and fog, with characters that are lovable but flawed, and a sense of humor that forever lurks near the surface like the troll under the proverbial (and actual) bridge.” —Booklist“A fast-moving and genuinely funny fantasy . . . Filled with cheeky surprises, absurd circumstances delivered in a deadpan manner, and magnetic picaresque-style storytelling, this middle-grade novel should readily appeal to fans of The Hobbit, Lloyd Alexander’s Prydain series, and Monty Python.” —Publishers Weekly
Goblins in the Castle
by Bruce Coville Katherine CovilleWhat moans at midnight in Toad-in-a-Cage Castle? Toad-in-a-Cage Castle was filled with secrets -- secrets such as the hidden passages that led to every room, the long stairway that wound down to the dungeon, and the weird creature named Igor who lived there. But it was the mysterious night noises that bothered William the most -- the strange moans that drifted through the halls of the castle where he was raised. He wanted to know what caused them. Then one night he found out....
The Goblin's Puzzle
by Andrew ChiltonBrimming with dragons, goblins, and logic puzzles, this middle-grade fantasy adventure is perfect for readers who enjoyed The Princess Bride or Rump.THE BOY is a nameless slave on a mission to uncover his true destiny. THE GOBLIN holds all the answers, but he's too tricky to be trusted. PLAIN ALICE is a bookish peasant girl carried off by a confused dragon. And PRINCESS ALICE is the lucky girl who wasn't kidnapped. All four are tangled up in a sinister plot to take over the kingdom, and together they must face kind monsters, a cruel magician, and dozens of deathly boring palace bureaucrats. They're a ragtag bunch, but with strength, courage, and plenty of deductive reasoning, they just might outwit the villains and crack the goblin's puzzle. "An adventure bursting with wit and charm. The characters are fresh, the story is thrilling, and the puzzles are downright diabolical. A wonderful book." --Jonathan Auxier, author of The Night Gardener"Brimming with sarcastic, cheeky, laugh-out-loud humor, this is a smart, original, and completely engaging adventure." --School Library Journal, starred reviewFrom the Hardcover edition.
God and Football: Faith and Fanaticism in the Southeastern Conference
by Chad GibbsAt the age of 8, Chad Gibbs attended his first Southeastern Conference football game. Since then he has been in a constant battle to not let his love of all things pigskin consume him. As a Christian, Gibbs knows he cannot serve two masters, but at times his faith is overwhelmed by his fanaticism. He is not alone. In 2008 over six million people attended an SEC football game. They spend thousands on season tickets, donate millions to athletic departments, and for three months a year order their entire lives around the schedule of their favorite team. Gibbs and his six million friends do not live in a spiritually void land where such borderline idol worship would normally be accepted. They live in the American South, where according to the 2008 American Religious Identification Survey, 84 percent identify themselves as Christians. This apparent contradiction that Gibbs sees in his own life, and in millions of others, has led him to journey to each of the twelve schools to spend time with rabid, Christian fans of various ages and denominations. Through his journey he hopes to learn how others are able to balance their passion for their team with their devotion to God. And if Gibbs learns others are just as messed up as he is, at least he will know he is not alone.
God Bless John Wayne (Kinky Friedman #8)
by Kinky FriedmanHis latest assignment--to track down the birth parents of his freeloader friend Ratso--proves to be no small task, but Kinky's resentment turns to mourning when Ratso turns up dead. The trail of clues leads Kinky from downtown Manhattan to an escape on the Hudson, where a medicine chest yields the tragic truth.
God Grant Me The Laughter: A Treasury Of Twelve Step Humor
by Ed F.These hearty cartoons and humorous anecdotes reflect with humor and powerful clarity how our drinking or drug-using days contrast with our lives today."The strength of our recovery is in direct proportion to our ability to laugh at ourselves." Laughter heals, particularly the laughter that comes when we understand the lifesaving difference between "how it was" before recovery and "how it is" living in sobriety. These hearty cartoons and humorous anecdotes reflect with powerful clarity how our drinking or drug-using days contrast with our lives today. Laughter helps us celebrate our recovery and it reminds us how grateful we are for sobriety and for the priceless camaraderie of people in Twelve Step programs.
God Is My Broker
by Christopher BuckleyThis is an incredible story. The author, a failed, alcoholic Wall Street trader, had retreated to a monastery. It, too, was failing. Then, one fateful day, Brother Ty decided to let God be his broker--and not only saved the monastery but discovered the 7 1/2 Laws of Spiritual and Financial Growth. Brother Ty's remarkable success has been studied at the nation's leading business schools and scrutinized by Wall Street's greatest minds, but until now the secret to his 7 1/2 Laws of Spiritual and Financial Growth have been available only to a select few:
God is No Laughing Matter
by Julia CameronIn her national bestseller, The Right to Write, Julia Cameron took to task the mythology surrounding the writing life in our culture. Now, in God Is No Laughing Matter, Cameron delivers spiritual straight-talk that helps readers to refocus their spiritual experience and to recognize true inspiration. With her trademark "sparkling prose" (Publishers Weekly), combined with anecdotes and techniques presented in God Is No Laughing Matter, Cameron offers thought-provoking, humorous essays that paint the spiritual journey in a refreshingly clear light. Addressing the way spiritual "experts" have clouded the message, the book shows readers how instead they can better focus and make conscious choices that inform life, and enrich oneself and the community. Sharing firsthand observations on the influences of spiritual life on her work, Cameron asserts that, "for every step we take toward God, a thousand are taken toward us. " Today, with the prevalent paradoxes and contradictions one often finds in the spiritual trek, God Is No Laughing Matter will give readers a respite and the energy to begin anew.
God-Level Knowledge Darts: Life Lessons from the Bronx
by Desus Mero<P><P>A wild, hilarious guide to life from the hosts of the hit late-night show Desus & Mero and the Bodega Boys podcast Who could have predicted that, after a fateful meeting in a Bronx summer school in the 1990s, Desus & Mero would turn their friendship into an empire of talking to each other. And it’s no surprise—tuning in to them is like listening to the funniest, smartest people you know dissect a topic and then light it on fire. <P><P>Now they’ve written the most essential guide to life of this century*, in which all the important questions are asked: How do I talk to my kids about drugs if I do them, too? What are the ethics of ghosting in a relationship? How do I bet on sports? How should I behave in jail? How much is too much to spend on sneakers? Is porn really that bad for me? As they put it: “We want to share all we’ve learned, after years in the Bronx streets, with you: the people. So with a lifetime spent building up a plethora of information from trials and tribulations and a handful of misdemeanors, we decided to write this book—a sequel to the Bible, or maybe to The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, depending on how big a nerd you are. Let this book be your North Star.” <P><P>*NO REFUNDS <P><P><b>A New York Times Bestseller</b>
God Loves Golfers Best
by Ray FoleyGod Loves Golfers Best is the ultimate collection of golf jokes, quotes, and cartoons sure to tickle the funny bone of any avid duffer. A perfect gift or self-purchase for the golf fan in your life! Examples from God Loves Golfers Best: Golf is a lot like taxes. You drive hard to get to the green, and end up in the hole. What should you do if lightning strikes during your round? Walk around holding a 1-iron, because even God can't hit a 1-iron! A man is getting married and is standing by his bride at the church. Standing beside him are his golf clubs and bag. His bride whispers, "What are your golf clubs doing here?" The groom replies, "This isn't going to take all day, is it?" In primitive society, when native tribes beat the ground with clubs and yelled, it was called witchcraft; today, in civilized society, it is called golf.