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Head, Shoulders, Pee, and Moles
by Carolyn Dean Paul KleinmanThe only see-it-and-believe-it guide to whole-body self-diagnosis! Worried about that not-so-distinct mole? Has an online search led you to believe that you're suffering from neurodermatitis, nasal polyps, or elephantitis? Do you slather on a bottle of sanitizer daily or avoid others like they have the plague? Don't quarantine yourself just yet-trust your own eyes! Thanks to the help and humor of Paul Kleinman, you can learn and laugh about what you've got and what you're coming down with, all by looking at your body. Prognoses include: Dry, brittle hair is a symptom of hypothyroidism. Looks like you're running low on hormones or moisturizing shampoo. . . . White patches on your feet could mean you have pitted keratolysis. Great, so a colony of bacteria decided to move in or you forgot to use your antiperspirant again. . . A rash from cheek to cheek could be a sign of lupus. Don't fret-your insides might be at war with an inflammatory disease or you may just need a higher SPF . . . Drawn from real tenets of traditional medicine, modern research, and alternative practices, this tongue-in-cheek health guide will scratch your cyberchondriac's itch for information.
Head, Shoulders, Pee, and Moles
by Paul KleinmanThe only see-it-and-believe-it guide to whole-body self-diagnosis! Worried about that not-so-distinct mole? Has an online search led you to believe that you're suffering from neurodermatitis, nasal polyps, or elephantitis? Do you slather on a bottle of sanitizer daily or avoid others like they have the plague? Don't quarantine yourself just yet-trust your own eyes! Thanks to the help and humor of Paul Kleinman, you can learn and laugh about what you've got and what you're coming down with, all by looking at your body. Prognoses include: Dry, brittle hair is a symptom of hypothyroidism. Looks like you're running low on hormones or moisturizing shampoo. . . . White patches on your feet could mean you have pitted keratolysis. Great, so a colony of bacteria decided to move in or you forgot to use your antiperspirant again. . . A rash from cheek to cheek could be a sign of lupus. Don't fret-your insides might be at war with an inflammatory disease or you may just need a higher SPF . . . Drawn from real tenets of traditional medicine, modern research, and alternative practices, this tongue-in-cheek health guide will scratch your cyberchondriac's itch for information.
Headfirst Falling
by Melissa GuinnFalling in love. It doesn't seem to fit, like falling shouldn't be used in conjunction with love. We don't fall gracefully. In fact, there's nothing graceful about it. We crash into things-hit them hard, bounce around, give ourselves cuts, bruises or break bones... And it's never planned. It takes you by surprise. You lose control.Charlie Day fell in love with Jackson Stiles a long time ago. But that was before he and her brother enlisted and went to Iraq. Before Jackson came back different. Before they told Charlie her brother would never come back at all.A lot of things have changed since then. But when Jackson takes a job at the company where Charlie works, she discovers that one thing hasn't changed-the spark between them. She's not sure she can love this new Jackson, or forgive him for the part he played in her brother's death. It's too bad for Charlie that, with love, you don't always have a choice.97,000 words
Heading for Trouble!
by Linda MilesMan trouble!The second time Morgan met Richard Kavanagh she was supposed to be helping charm the television heartthrob into giving her sister a job. Unfortunately, Morgan suspected that careering into Richard's car wasn't exactly the "good impression" that Elaine had had in mind! Worse, Richard thought it was an elaborate plan to get an autograph. She didn't even like the man! He was rude, opinionated and far too sexy for his own good-and hers! And if he ever remembered the first time they had met, Morgan would really be heading for trouble!
Headless
by Benjamin WeissmanA collection of short fiction that&’s &“fearless, fun, and sometimes filthy&” (Alice Sebold, bestselling author of The Lovely Bones). Called &“wildly inventive, profane, and hilarious&” by Bret Easton Ellis, these short stories from the author of the cult classic Dear Dead Person head in countess surprising directions—from a skiing Hitler on the bunny slope, to a man dealing with dubbing porn tapes and cleaning up an overflowing toilet, to the sex lives of bears. &“Surprising, rollicking and clever, but not for the faint of heart . . . Truly original stories.&” —Publishers Weekly &“[A] playful mélange of erotic black comedy and domestic pathos, dysfunctional families and all-too-functional men, dictators and lumberjacks. Weissman is an expert juggler of tone.&” —Los Angeles Times
Headliners (London Celebrities #5)
by Lucy ParkerSparks fly when two feuding TV presenters are thrown together to host a live morning show in Lucy Parker’s latest enemies-to-lovers contemporary romance.He might be the sexiest man in London, according to his fan site (which he definitely writes himself), but he’s also the most arrogant man she’s ever met.She might have the longest legs he’s ever seen, but she also has the sharpest tongue.For years, rival TV presenters Sabrina Carlton and Nick Davenport have traded barbs on their respective shows. The public can’t get enough of their feud, but after Nick airs Sabrina’s family scandals to all of Britain, the gloves are off. They can barely be in the same room together—but these longtime enemies are about to become the unlikeliest of cohosts.With their reputations on the rocks, Sabrina and Nick have one last chance to save their careers. If they can resurrect a sinking morning show, they’ll still have a future in television. But with ratings at an all-time low and a Christmas Eve deadline to win back the nation’s favor, the clock is ticking—and someone on their staff doesn’t want them to succeed.Small mishaps on set start adding up, and Sabrina and Nick find themselves—quelle horreur—working together to hunt down the saboteur…and discovering they might have more in common than they thought. When a fiery encounter is caught on camera, the public is convinced that the reluctant cohosts are secretly lusting after one another.The public might not be wrong.Their chemistry has always been explosive, but with hate turning to love, the stakes are rising and everything is on the line. Neither is sure if they can trust these new feelings…or if they’ll still have a job in the New Year.This book is approximately 96,000 wordsOne-click with confidence. This title is part of the Carina Press Romance Promise: all the romance you’re looking for with an HEA/HFN. It’s a promise!
Headlines! Headlines! Headlines?
by Neil Patrick StewartNew York Postabsurd? OrOnion-like fiction? You decide! British woman weds dolphin! Two minor girls married off to frogs! Tennessee man marries goat! Here's the story: two of these headlines are true - and one's true bologna. Which are straight off the presses? And which one is straight out of the author's mind? It's up to you to decide! The headlines in this book are all so outlandish that it's hard to believe any one of them is true. From stories like "Teen steals bus, picks up passengers" to "World's priciest pigeon goes for $328,000," you'll need to have quite the discerning eye to recognize which are ripped from real newspapers. Filled with hundreds of outrageously authentic headlines, this book leaves you wondering, "Did they really print that?"
Headlines! Headlines! Headlines?
by Neil Patrick StewartNew York Post absurd? Or Onion-like fiction? You decide! British woman weds dolphin! Two minor girls married off to frogs! Tennessee man marries goat! Here's the story: two of these headlines are true - and one's true bologna. Which are straight off the presses? And which one is straight out of the author's mind? It's up to you to decide! The headlines in this book are all so outlandish that it's hard to believe any one of them is true. From stories like "Teen steals bus, picks up passengers" to "World's priciest pigeon goes for $328,000," you'll need to have quite the discerning eye to recognize which are ripped from real newspapers. Filled with hundreds of outrageously authentic headlines, this book leaves you wondering, "Did they really print that?"
Headlines! Headlines! Headlines?: Read All About 'em . . . And Guess Which Actually Happened
by Neil Patrick StewartNew York Post absurd? Or Onion-like fiction? You decide!British woman weds dolphin! Two minor girls married off to frogs!Tennessee man marries goat!Here's the story: two of these headlines are true - and one's true bologna. Which are straight off the presses? And which one is straight out of the author's mind? It's up to you to decide!The headlines in this book are all so outlandish that it's hard to believe any one of them is true. From stories like "Teen steals bus, picks up passengers" to "World's priciest pigeon goes for $328,000," you'll need to have quite the discerning eye to recognize which are ripped from real newspapers.Filled with hundreds of outrageously authentic headlines, this book leaves you wondering, "Did they really print that?"
Headlock: A Jeff Reynolds Mystery (The Jeff Reynolds Mysteries #1)
by Burl BarerIn this riotous mystery, a Pacific Northwest PI is hired by an ex-pro wrestler whose suspicions are hard to prove—and hard to follow: &“A real winner.&” —Library Journal Jeff Reynolds—an author who became a PI to find ideas for books—is about to get some new material. He&’s having breakfast with a potential client who tells a long story involving barroom brawls, professional wrestlers, and prostitutes; reveals that this is the first time he&’s been out of the house in fifteen years; and announces that his father was murdered. What he wants is for Reynolds to find out whether they&’re still after him. Though when Reynolds asks who &“they&” are, he refuses to say since Reynolds could be one of them. From the New York Times–bestselling and Edgar Award–winning author Burl Barer, and featuring cameos by a few real-life mystery authors, this is a wildly entertaining PI tale in which it&’s hard to tell what&’s deception, what&’s delusion, and what&’s genuinely deadly—and all roads lead to McFeely&’s Tavern in Walla Walla, Washington . . . &“Clever, quirky, and often outrageous.&” —Lee Goldberg, New York Times–bestselling author of Mr. Monk Gets Even &“Undeniable talent, pizazz and imagination.&” —Jack Olsen, New York Times–bestselling author of Night Watch
Headmaster of Doom: Book 4 (Dark Lord #4)
by Jamie ThomsonDirk Lloyd, the Dark Lord trapped in the boy of a weedy schoolboy, returns in a darkly hilarious adventure set in the most ghoulish school you'll encounter this side of the Darklands ...Fourth in the brilliant series that began with the Roald Dahl Funny Prize-winning DARK LORD: THE TEENAGE YEARS, also chosen as one of the Sunday Times's 100 Modern Children Classics.Perfect for fans of Philip Reeve and David Walliams.
Heads You Lose
by Lisa Lutz David HaywardDave, I just finished the first chapter of a new novel-a real crime novel with a dead body and all-and I thought of you...<P><P> Paul and Lacey Hansen are pot-growing, twentysomething siblings sharing a modest rambler of a home in rural Northern California. When they find a headless corpse on their property they can't exactly call 911, so they simply move the body to another location. Let somebody else find it. Instead, the corpse reappears on their land. Clearly, someone is sending them a message, and it's getting riper by the day. But that's only half of the story...<P> Enter authors Lisa Lutz and David Hayward-former real-life partners (professionally and personally) who have agreed to reunite for a tag- team mystery novel written in alternating chapters. One little problem: they disagree on pretty much every detail of how their novel should unfold. While the body count rises in Paul and Lacey's wildly unpredictable fictional world, so too does the intensity of Lisa and David's rivalry. The result is a literary brawl like no other, and a murder mystery every bit as unanticipated (and bloody).
Heads in Beds: A Reckless Memoir of Hotels, Hustles, and So-Called Hospitality
by Jacob TomskyIn the tradition of Kitchen Confidential and Waiter Rant, a rollicking, eye-opening, fantastically indiscreet memoir of a life spent (and misspent) in the hotel industry. Jacob Tomsky never intended to go into the hotel business. As a new college graduate, armed only with a philosophy degree and a singular lack of career direction, he became a valet parker for a large luxury hotel in New Orleans. Yet, rising fast through the ranks, he ended up working in "hospitality" for more than a decade, doing everything from supervising the housekeeping department to manning the front desk at an upscale Manhattan hotel. He's checked you in, checked you out, separated your white panties from the white bed sheets, parked your car, tasted your room-service meals, cleaned your toilet, denied you a late checkout, given you a wake-up call, eaten M&Ms out of your minibar, laughed at your jokes, and taken your money. In Heads in Beds he pulls back the curtain to expose the crazy and compelling reality of a multi-billion-dollar industry we think we know. Heads in Beds is a funny, authentic, and irreverent chronicle of the highs and lows of hotel life, told by a keenly observant insider who's seen it all. Prepare to be amused, shocked, and amazed as he spills the unwritten code of the bellhops, the antics that go on in the valet parking garage, the housekeeping department's dirty little secrets--not to mention the shameless activities of the guests, who are rarely on their best behavior. Prepare to be moved, too, by his candor about what it's like to toil in a highly demanding service industry at the luxury level, where people expect to get what they pay for (and often a whole lot more). Employees are poorly paid and frequently abused by coworkers and guests alike, and maintaining a semblance of sanity is a daily challenge.Along his journey Tomsky also reveals the secrets of the industry, offering easy ways to get what you need from your hotel without any hassle. This book (and a timely proffered twenty-dollar bill) will help you score late checkouts and upgrades, get free stuff galore, and make that pay-per-view charge magically disappear. Thanks to him you'll know how to get the very best service from any business that makes its money from putting heads in beds. Or, at the very least, you will keep the bellmen from taking your luggage into the camera-free back office and bashing it against the wall repeatedly.
Heads, You Lose! (Goosebumps HorrorLand #15)
by R. L. StineGoosebumps now on Disney+!Jessica and her best friend, Ryan, really enjoy magic tricks. They find the perfect HorrorLand souvenir in Jonathan Chiller's gift shop--a two-headed coin with mysteriously dark powers.After an unlucky flip of the coin, Jessica and Ryan find themselves in a strange land being chased down by angry guards. HorrorLand was scary but this is much worse. Will they be able to escape with their heads still attached?
Heart Breaker: A Nashville Nights Novel (Nashville Nights #1)
by Erin MccarthyThey're perfectly in tune--but only when it comes to their music. This sizzling romance from New York Times bestselling author Erin McCarthy follows Nashville's hottest country music duo as they fight for love in a city where dreams often cost a broken heart. Self-made singer/songwriter Jolene Hart loves everything about being on top in Nashville. Well, everything except her very public breakup with Chance Rivers, her sexy masculine other half. Once the hottest duo on the scene, they turned Music City on its ear. Now their careers are as cold as their relationship. Which is why their manager has practically locked them in a remote cabin with nothing but a guitar, a bed, and time to do what they do best: make some beautiful music together. As Nashville royalty, Chance has big boots to fill--and the pressure that comes with 'em. He fell hard for Jolene, but he couldn't handle the spotlight, the crowds, and the fights that made headlines and killed any notion that love and success could go hand-in-hand. Still, Chance is more than willing to rekindle the one thing that worked: the wild passion behind their hit songs. Soon they're making up for lost time, in the steamiest ways possible. But Chance finds himself wishing for the impossible: that their intimate hideaway could last forever. Includes a special message from the editor, as well as an excerpt from another Loveswept title.
Heart Conditions (The Breakup Doctor Series #3)
by Phoebe FoxA “delightful, witty” novel about a relationship expert whose own love life is falling to pieces (Amy FitzHenry, author of Cold Feet). You’d think running a massively successful relationship counseling practice would guarantee smooth sailing in a girl’s own love life. And yet, Breakup Doctor Brook Ogden has spent the last year sifting through the fallout from the disastrous decision that led to her unconscious uncoupling with boyfriend Ben Garrett. Despite advising her clients you can’t be friends with an ex, she and Ben are becoming buddies—while Brook hopes for more. That is, until Ben introduces his new girlfriend, Perfect Pamela, a paragon of womanly virtues who is everything Brook is not. While Brook navigates her newly volatile emotional life, an unwelcome surprise shows up on her doorstep: the ex-fiancé who broke her heart two years ago. Between her ex’s desire to rekindle their attachment, her best friend Sasha’s unexpected crisis, and her own unquenchable feelings for Ben, Brook finds herself questioning the personal progress she’s made—and threatened with the highest-stakes Breakup Doctor failures she’s ever faced. “Will have you giggling out loud and shaking your head at the same time . . . Fox’s books are like a box of fine chocolates. Not to be eaten quickly but to be savored and enjoyed.” —Fresh Fiction
Heart Marks the Spot
by Libby HubscherA treasure hunter and the bestselling adventure novelist who broke her heart after one successful expedition reunite for a summer to search for lost riches.Treasure hunter Stella Moore dreams of having it all—wealth, love, and a flourishing career—but knows she&’ll never be that lucky. Every summer she and her childhood friends travel to search for hidden treasure, but she can barely manage her bills, let alone a relationship. Then, a chance encounter with alluring novelist Huck Sullivan during an expedition in Iceland has Stella thinking maybe her fortune has changed.After his last book bombed, Huck hasn&’t written a word. Joining Stella and her crew on an adventure seems like the perfect distraction from his problems, and when the crew finally uncovers hidden treasure, he is certain that he&’s found more than just inspiration for his next novel. Huck and Stella&’s undeniable connection gives way to an unforgettable night on a black sand beach.After Huck disappears without a goodbye, Stella vows to put the heartbreak behind her—but that&’s easier said than done when, a year later, every bookstore has a life-size cutout of her ex-lover next to stacks of his latest record-breaking bestseller. Good thing it&’s time for another summer treasure hunt. Stella throws herself into mapping the path to a shipwreck off Key West, but the last thing she expects is an extra crew member showing up in search of material for a sequel and a second chance. Stella and Huck are prepared for storms, sharks, sea sickness, even a tentative truce. But facing the feelings they buried and confronting the devastating truth about why Huck left is the only way to find what their hearts have been searching for all along.
Heart Strings (A Love in Galway Novel)
by Ivy FairbanksA sizzling exes-to-lovers second- chance romance from the author of Morbidly Yours, the &“sweet, spicy, and fabulous&” (Abby Jimenez, #1 New York Times bestselling author) TikTok sensationShe doesn&’t do second chances. But he's not done writing their song.Cielo &“Lo&” Valdez doesn&’t believe in second chances. Surviving cancer taught her life is too short to spend time on someone who wronged you. But Aidan O&’Toole is determined to show her life is best spent together.When the tough-as-nails Texan moved to Galway for medical school, she wasn&’t looking for love. Aidan, a gorgeous, tattooed, mandolin-playing lawyer, slipped past her defenses. They each fell hard and fast. But when Aidan was given the opportunity of a lifetime—to move to London and record an album—he took it, breaking Lo's heart. Yet more than two years and a successful album later, every song he writes is still about her, the one he let get away. And every time Lo hears his voice on the radio singing about love, it&’s an arrow straight to her soul.Now they&’re on a collision course as maid of honor and best man at a weekend-long Irish castle wedding. Are some mistakes worth forgiving? Can Aidan convince Lo their song wasn&’t meant to end?
Heart Takes the Lead: Maybe Brain Is Not Always Right
by Scott StuartA heartwarming new picture book about being yourself from bestselling children’s book creator, Scott Stuart.Heart loves puppies, and chocolate, and roller-coasters, and dancing to music. Brain likes lists, and broccoli, and safety rails, and sensible clothing. Heart loves spontaneity and trying new things. Brain wants everything to be predictable and perfectly orderly.Most of all, Brain loves being right.Can Heart and Brain learn to see the world from one another's point a view?A beautifully written and illustrated picture book for young readers about being true to yourself, and the importance of listening to your brain and your heart.
Heart and Brain: An Awkward Yeti Collection (Heart And Brain Ser. #1)
by Nick Seluk The Awkward YetiBoasting more than two million pageviews per month, TheAwkwardYeti.com has become a webcomic staple since its creation in 2012. In addition to tons of fan favorites, Heart and Brain contains more than 75 brand new comics that have never been seen online. From paying taxes and getting up for work to dancing with kittens and starting a band, readers everywhere will relate to the ongoing struggle between Heart and Brain.
Heart and Brain: An Awkward Yeti Collection (Heart And Brain Ser. #2)
by Nick Seluk The Awkward YetiHeart and Brain return with over sixty brand-new, never-before-seen comics in this riotous collection by a New York Times–bestselling author. Vigorously demanded and highly anticipated, Heart and Brain: Gut Instincts is the follow-up to the tremendously popular New York Times bestseller, Heart and Brain: An Awkward Yeti Collection. The Awkward Yeti&’s Heart and Brain comics perfectly illustrate the ongoing, internal struggle betwixt head and heart.Heart and Brain: Gut Instincts features the same lovable characters as the first book and introduces a host of other vital organs like insatiable Tongue, irritable Bowels, and abused Stomach.Perfect for fans of Poorly Drawn Lines, Liz Climo, Randall Munroe, and The Oatmeal.
Heart and Brain: An Awkward Yeti Collection (Heart And Brain Ser. #3)
by Nick Seluk The Awkward YetiHeart and Brain: Body Language continues the adventures of the loveably conflicted sentimental Heart and rational Brain, as well as other bodily inhabitants like Gallbladder, Muscle, and Tongue. Warm-hearted and laugh-out-loud funny, these comics bring our inner struggles to vibrant, humorous life.
Heart of Barkness (A Chet & Bernie Mystery #9)
by Spencer QuinnTHE INSTANT USA TODAY BESTSELLERSpencer Quinn's Heart of Barkness is the latest in the New York Times bestselling series that the Los Angeles Times called “nothing short of masterful"…Chet the dog, “the most lovable narrator in all of crime fiction” (Boston Globe) and P.I. Bernie encounter heartache and much worse in the world of country music. They’re both music lovers, so when Lotty Pilgrim, a country singer from long ago, turns up at a local bar, they drive out to catch her act. Bernie’s surprised to see someone who was once so big performing in such a dive, and drops a C-note the Little Detective Agency can’t afford to part with into the tip jar. The C-note is stolen right from under their noses – even from under Chet’s, the nose that misses nothing – and before the night is over, it’s stolen again. Soon they’re working the most puzzling case of their career, a case that takes them back in time in search of old border-town secrets, and into present-day danger where powerful people want those secrets to stay hidden. Chet and Bernie find themselves sucked into a real-life murder ballad where there is no one to trust but each other.At the Publisher's request, this title is being sold without Digital Rights Management Software (DRM) applied.
Heart of Hope: A Small Town Romance
by Lucy ScoreWhy would a professional hockey player fly out here, seduce me, and then vanish again? I can't believe I fell for a liar. I was an idiot. A blinded-by-lust, hopeful idiot who threw myself into bed with a sexy stranger, invited him to dinner with my entire family, and then woke up alone to a note. I hope you can forgive me for lying. Ha. Like that's ever going to happen. If Beau French or Evanko or whatever the hell his name is ever shows his hot, bearded face in this town again, I'll make sure he regrets it. To be fair, I practically threw myself at his crotch. And okay, fine. Getting naked with him was the first time I'd felt anything worth feeling since losing my little sister. It's almost kinda nice to be fueled by the fires of rage instead of the numbness of grief. But I'm certainly not going to thank him for lying and then sneaking out of my bed like a thief in the midafternoon. Thankfully, I have my older sister's Christmas wedding to distract me. There's no way he'd show his face there. Besides, there's no excuse good enough to make me forgive him.
Heart of Junk: A Novel
by Luke GeddesA hilarious debut novel about an eclectic group of merchants at a Kansas antique mall who become implicated in the kidnapping of a local beauty pageant star. The city of Wichita, Kansas, is wracked with panic over the abduction of toddler pageant princess Lindy Bobo. However, the dealers at The Heart of America Antique Mall are too preoccupied by their own neurotic compulsions to take much notice. Postcards, perfume bottles, Barbies, vinyl records, kitschy neon beer signs—they collect and sell it all. Rather than focus on Lindy, this colorful cast of characters is consumed by another drama: the impending arrival of Mark and Grant from the famed antiques television show Pickin&’ Fortunes, who are planning to film an episode at The Heart of America and secretly may be the last best hope of saving the mall from bankruptcy. Yet the mall and the missing beauty queen have more to do with each other than these vendors might think, and before long, the group sets in motion a series of events that lead to surprising revelations about Lindy&’s whereabouts. As the mall becomes implicated in her disappearance, will Mark and Grant be scared away from all of the drama or will they arrive in time to save The Heart of America from going under? Equally comical and suspenseful, Heart of Junk is also a biting commentary on our current Marie Kondo era. It examines why certain objects resonate with us so deeply, rebukes Kondo&’s philosophy of wholesale purging, and argues that &“junk&” can have great value—connecting us not only to our personal pasts but to our shared human history. As author Luke Geddes writes: &“A collection was a record of a life lived, maybe not well or happily but at least with attention and passion. It was autobiography made whole.&”