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Hold the Pickles (Orca Currents)
by Vicki GrantDan Hogg is thrilled when his uncle offers him some work at a food fair, because he wants money to hire a professional trainer to help him with his scrawny physique. Dan's excitement vanishes when he learns that the job is dressing up in a hotdog costume and handing out samples. Every dark cloud has its silver lining, Dan discovers, when he, or rather Frank Lee Better, his mascot persona, gains the attention of a pretty girl named Brooke. The attention is great until Dan finds himself under attack from Cupcake Katie and a mysterious guy with a strange interest in Brooke. It's not until he's huddling in a bathroom in nothing but his tight white underwear that Dan begins to suspect Brooke's attention might be too good to be true. This short novel is a high-interest, low-reading level book for middle-grade readers who are building reading skills, want a quick read or say they don’t like to read!
Holding The Reins: A Silver Pines Novel (Silver Pines Ranch Series)
by Paisley HopeIn this steamy cowboy romance, a woman returns to her family's ranch after a broken engagement and finds herself falling for her brother's best friend—the first novel in the Silver Pines Ranch series.Take a deep breath and let go of the reins.Cecilia &“CeCe&” Ashby is finally escaping the toxic relationship that has consumed her entire adult life. She's returning to her hometown of Laurel Creek, Kentucky, and to her family&’s equestrian ranch, unsure of what the future holds. Nash Carter, the newly retired superstar of the Dallas Stars, is Laurel Creek's hometown hero, local business owner, and notorious bachelor. He&’s also the unofficial fourth sibling in the Ashby clan. It&’s been years since his days of tormenting CeCe with her older brothers Wade and Cole. So, when CeCe needs a job, he feels drawn to help her.Nash can&’t seem to take his eyes off of his best friend's sister, and it seems she&’s been staring right back, not without animosity left over from his childish teasing back in the day. Despite their initial reluctance, the fire between them ignites and it isn't long before they jump into the flames.
Holding the Reins: A Silver Pines Novel (Silver Pines Ranch Series)
by Paisley HopeIn this steamy cowboy romance, a woman returns to her family's ranch after a broken engagement and finds herself falling for her brother's best friend—the first novel in the Silver Pines Ranch series.Take a deep breath and let go of the reins.Cecilia &“CeCe&” Ashby is finally escaping the toxic relationship that has consumed her entire adult life. She's returning to her hometown of Laurel Creek, Kentucky, and to her family&’s equestrian ranch, unsure of what the future holds. Nash Carter, the newly retired hockey superstar of the Dallas Stars, is Laurel Creek's hometown hero, local business owner, and notorious bachelor. He&’s also the unofficial fourth sibling in the Ashby clan. It&’s been years since his days of tormenting CeCe with her older brothers Wade and Cole. So, when CeCe needs a job, he feels drawn to help her.Nash can&’t seem to take his eyes off of his best friend's sister, and it seems she&’s been staring right back, not without animosity left over from his childish teasing back in the day. Despite their initial reluctance, the fire between them ignites and it isn't long before they jump into the flames.
Holes Incorporated
by L. Major ReynoldsIt was getting so a person couldn&’t sleep nights anymore. Would you like to see all hell break loose? Just make a few holes in nothing at all—push some steel beams through the holes—and then head for the hills. But first, read what happened to some people who really did it.
Holiday Ever After: One Snowy Night, Holiday Wishes & Mistletoe in Paradise
by Jill ShalvisThree fan-favorite Jill Shalvis novellas are together for the first time in this holiday anthology!One Snowy Night It’s Christmas Eve and Rory Andrews is desperate to get home to her family. Problem is, her only ride to Lake Tahoe comes in the form of the annoyingly handsome Max Stranton, her long-time crush, and his big, goofy, lovable dog. A long road trip in a massive blizzard might be just what they need to face their past…and one steamy, snowy night is all it takes to bring Max and Rory together at last. Holiday Wishes When Sean O’Riley shows up for his older brother’s bachelor weekend, the last person he expects to see is Lotti Hartford, the woman he lost his virginity to a decade ago. As the weekend continues, Sean realizes he wants to leave his hook-up life behind, but can he convince Lotti to open her heart to him again? Mistletoe in Paradise Years after their secret fling ended, Hannah isn’t eager to see James during their families’ annual joint holiday-themed yacht adventure. But when they’re the only people who show up, James and Hannah are stuck together on the high seas for days. As the former lovers try to make the best of the Christmas snafu, they soon realize the best things in life can’t be planned, and sometimes love is sweeter the second time around.
Holiday Games: A Play-By-Play Novella 6.5 (Play-By-Play #6)
by Jaci BurtonHoliday Games is a sexy holiday novella in the Play-By-Play series from New York Times bestselling author Jaci Burton. Perfect for fans of Lori Foster, Maya Banks and Jill Shalvis.All Elizabeth and Gavin Riley want for Christmas is a baby. Despite over a year of trying, conception hasn't been successful. But for a high-achiever like Elizabeth, she must succeed at everything. That means making the very most of every opportunity with her husband. And when it comes to nonstop sex Gavin's not really complaining. Exhausted, maybe... Unfortunately, this holiday season they're not exactly given a lot of private time. Elizabeth is hosting the holiday, Gavin's sister is getting married, and the house is wall-to-wall with family. For Elizabeth and Gavin the nights may be chilly, but the urge is still hot. And they're not about to let any distraction get in the way of their necessary pleasures during a holiday game that yields so many unexpected surprises.Includes a preview of Jaci Burton's novels Melting the Ice and Hope Flames. Want more sexy sporting romance? Don't miss the rest of this steamy series which began with The Perfect Play. And check out Jaci's gorgeously romantic Hope series beginning with Hope Flames.
Holiday Howlers: Jokes for Punny Parties (Make Me Laugh)
by Peter Roop Connie RoopFilled with over one hundred playful puns, goofy gigglers, sly spoofs, wacky illustrations, and more, this joke book from the publishers laugh-out-loud series will keep kids howling for more!
Holiday Jokes
by Pam RosenbergWant to know what kind of sounds a space turkey makes? Ever wonder what games monster children play? You'll find the answers to these silly questions in this book. From Valentines Day through Christmas, you can keep your family and friends ho-ho-ho-ing.
Holiday Wishes: A Heartbreaker Bay Christmas Novella (Heartbreaker Bay)
by Jill ShalvisA novella in New York Times bestselling author Jill Shalvis's Heartbreaker Bay series, featuring her trademark gift for humour, warmth and romance. Perfect for fans of Jill Mansell, Debbie Macomber, Nora Roberts and Marie Force. It's Christmastime again in Heartbreaker Bay!When Sean O'Riley shows up at the Hartford Bed & Breakfast for his older brother's bachelor weekend, he's planning to get through this weekend as well as he can and fulfill his duties as best man. What he's not expecting is to come face to face with the woman he lost his virginity to a decade ago - a woman he's never really forgotten.The last time Lotti Hartford saw Sean, she told him she loved him while he said nothing. Now, ten years later, she's just looking for a good time. For once, she wants to be wild and free, and when she sees how good Sean grew up, she thinks he might actually be the perfect candidate. As the weekend continues, Sean realizes that after a lifetime of being the hook-up king, he's ready to find happily-ever-after with Lotti. But is she ready to open her heart once again? As Christmas sweeps through the little B&B, love and magic are in the air. Want more warm, funny romance? Check out Lost And Found Sisters, the Heartbreaker Bay novels, Sweet Little Lies, The Trouble With Mistletoe and Accidentally On Purpose, visit gorgeous Cedar Ridge, spellbinding Lucky Harbor or experience some Animal Magnetism in Sunshine, Idaho in Jill's other unforgettable series.
Holiday in Fool's Gold: Only Us: A Fool's Gold Holiday\Yours for Christmas (Fool's Gold)
by Susan MallerySpend the holidays than with #1 New York Times bestselling author Susan Mallery in the town of Fool’s Gold, where wishes come true!ONLY US: A FOOL’S GOLD HOLIDAYPet groomer Carina Fiore wants nothing more than to confess her feelings to the man she loves. She’s fell for veterinarian Cameron McKenzie’s good looks, caring nature and especially his devotion to his young daughter. For months Cameron’s pushed away all thoughts of taking Rina in his arms and kissing her, unwilling to risk their friendship. But when a kiss under the mistletoe unlocks the simmering passion between them, Rina and Cameron may just find love for the holidays after all...YOURS FOR CHRISTMASFamous former NFL stars don’t date single working moms like Bailey Voss. She’ll allow herself to daydream about Kenny Scott’s muscles and killer smile, but wanting more would lead to post-holiday regret. Then Kenny volunteers to run a toy drive with Bailey, and she learns that he’s not just hot…he’s also generous, funny, nice. And as festive spirit spreads, Kenny gets wrapped up in Bailey’s kisses — and decides to make this the first of many Christmases together…Previously published.
Holiday in Harmony! (Little Golden Book)
by Golden BooksCelebrate the season with this beautifully illustrated DreamWorks Trolls Holiday in Harmony Little Golden Book. Boys and girls ages 2 to 5 and fans of all ages will love to read all about Poppy, Branch, and all their favorite Trolls in this brand-new beautifully illustrated DreamWorks Trolls Holiday in Harmony Little Golden Book!
Holiday in a Stetson: The Sheriff Who Found Christmas A Rancho Diablo Christmas
by Marie Ferrarella Tina LeonardUntamed hearts discover the gifts of love and family in this anthology featuring two contemporary Western holiday romances.The Sheriff Who Found Christmas by Marie FerrarellaFormer big city cop Lani Chisholm is determined to get Sheriff Garrett Tanner in the holiday spirit—especially since the sexy Scrooge became guardian to his niece. With a heart the size of Texas, Lani has more than enough love for Garrett and his little girl. And with some unexpected help from a tree hunt and a missing angel, a certain Western lawman just may discover his own Christmas miracle . . . A Rancho Diablo Christmas by Tina LeonardTrading kisses under the mistletoe is not what brought Johnny Donovan to Rancho Diablo. After all, he’s a diehard bachelor—and Jess St. John’s the most undomesticated woman in New Mexico. Then why does the petite horse trainer fill Johnny with such heart-soaring holiday spirit? The plan was to outsmart the Callahan matchmakers. Only, now it’s Johnny who’s hankering to get Jess to say yes. What’s a love-charmed Santa to do?
Holiday with a Twist: A Shannon Stacey Holiday Box Set Her Holiday Man Holiday With A Twist Hold Her Again
by Shannon StaceyReunited ex-friends become lovers in this novella about a woman’s holiday homecoming from a New York Times–bestselling author.After a messy breakup, Leigh Holloway is ready to start her life over. Until her parents put the family home on the market and call her back for one final, memory-making Christmas. The last thing she wants to do is deprive her mom of the perfect holiday, so she’ll lie her way through the visit and worry about her future in the New Year. Too bad the only bar in town is owned by a guy she seriously wronged in high school.Leigh’s best friend broke Croy Dawson’s heart, and Croy knows it was Leigh’s fault. They’ve never liked each other, but Croy isn’t cruel: he’d never turn away a pretty woman in need of some family-Christmas fortification. He doesn’t expect her to drink just enough candy-cane martinis to tell him her secrets—and he definitely doesn’t expect to get caught up in her holiday madness.Despite the surprising love and laughter, Croy and Leigh can’t escape the truth: he can’t walk away from his family obligations and she has a life and career to reboot. But anything is possible if your holiday comes with a twist . . . “Stacey writes a holiday novella that will have readers wishing that it didn’t have to end! . . . Holiday with a Twist is another wonderful read by the gifted Stacey.” —RT Book Reviews
Holiday with the Millionaire: His Princess Of Convenience Holiday With The Millionaire The Husband She'd Never Met Unlocking Her Boss's Heart (Tycoons in a Million #1)
by Scarlet WilsonAfter a breakup, a woman takes a vacation with a sexy stranger and falls in love in this romantic comedy.Lara Callaway has been cheated on for the last time. She’s enjoying a peaceful stay at her employer’s London town house before embarking on the holiday of a lifetime—alone! Until the unexpected arrival of Reuben Tyler throws her senses into overdrive. . . . The rebellious millionaire becomes her unlikely travel companion, and somewhere between romantic Venice and glamorous Monte Carlo, he is beginning to make Lara feel beautiful again. But can Lara return the favor and show cynical playboy Reuben that he, too, is worthy of love?
Holiday!
by Natalie NelsonA funny, offbeat story about how disruptive change can be — even if it’s a holiday! Early one morning, a strange visitor arrives — a visitor whose name is Holiday. “I’ll be taking over for you today!” Holiday tells Monday. And before long, Holiday has met the other days, even Saturday and Sunday, who usually sleep all week. With each introduction, Monday becomes more and more upset. She is used to starting the week, and she’d like to keep it that way. When Holiday announces how much fun he’s having, and that he’d like to stay, Wednesday and Friday admit that they are a little worried, too. Meanwhile, Thursday, Saturday and Sunday are completely smitten by this exciting new day. Finally, Monday (with Wednesday and Friday in tow), asks Holiday to kindly pack his things and go. Then just in time, Tuesday comes up with a solution that will work for everyone. Natalie Nelson’s ingenious characterizations of the days of the week will delight readers young and old, as will her story that pokes fun at how set in our ways we can be and how we might instead choose to be open to change and embrace the unexpected. Key Text Features speech bubbles illustrations labels Correlates to the Common Core State Standards in English Language Arts: CCSS.ELA-LITERACY.RL.2.6 Acknowledge differences in the points of view of characters, including by speaking in a different voice for each character when reading dialogue aloud.
Holidays Are Murder (The Maggie Skerritt Mysteries)
by Charlotte DouglasTHE HOLIDAYS?-DON’T YOU JUST LOVE ’EM?Been overstressed at work? Ever wish the holidays would go on an extended vacation? Worried about finding the perfect gift? Or had unresolved conflicts with family that drive you up the wall?Detective Maggie Skerritt is every woman who’s been there, done that.She also excels at her work, doesn’t eat right or get enough sleep and loves to have someone else do her cooking. But her job is murder and she strives to make her city safe. In the process, she gathers her courage to risk loving again.But first she has to make it through Thanksgiving, Christmas...and another murder in Pelican Bay.
Holidays On Ice
by David SedarisHOLIDAYS ON ICE collects six of David Sedaris's most profound Christmas stories into one slender volume, perfect for use as a last-minute coaster or ice scraper. This drinking man's companion can be enjoyed by the warmth of a raging fire, the glow of a brilliantly decorated tree, or even in the backseat of a van or police car.
Holidays in Heck: A Former War Correspondent Experiences Frightening Vacation Fun
by P. J. O'RourkeP.J. O'Rourke is one of today's most celebrated political humorists, and has been hailed as "the funniest writer in America" by both Time and The Wall Street Journal. Two decades ago he published the classic travelogue Holidays in Hell, in which he traversed the globe on a fun-finding mission to what were then some of the most desperate places on the planet, including Warsaw, Managua, and Belfast.In Holidays in Heck, P.J. embarks on supposedly more comfortable and allegedly less dangerous travels—often with family in tow—which mostly leave him wishing he were under artillery fire again. The essays take O'Rourke on a whirlwind of adventures, beginning at the National Mall in Washington, which he describes as having been designed with the same amazing "greatest generation" aesthetic sensibility that informed his parents' living room. We follow him as he takes his family on a ski vacation (to the Aspen of the Midwest—Ohio—where the highest point of elevation is the six-food ski instructor that his wife thinks is cute). And later he experiences a harrowing horseback ride across the mountains of Kyrgyzstan.The result is a hilarious and often moving portrait of life in the fast lane—only this time as a husband and father.
Holidays in Hell
by P. J. O'RourkeThe author travels to hellholes around the globe, looking for trouble, the truth, and a good time.
Holidays in Hell: In Which Our Intrepid Reporter Travels to the World's Worst Places and Asks, "What's Funny About This?"
by P. J. O'RourkeA &“hair-raisingly hilarious&” journey through danger zones from Belfast to Gaza, by the #1 New York Times–bestselling author (Vanity Fair). &“Tired of making bad jokes&” and believing that &“the world outside seemed a much worse joke than anything I could conjure,&” journalist and political satirist P. J. O&’Rourke decided to traverse the globe on a fun-finding mission, investigating the way of life in the most desperate places on the planet, including Warsaw, Managua, and Belfast. The result is Holidays in Hell—a full-tilt, no-holds-barred romp through politics, culture, and ideology. The author&’s adventures include storming student protesters&’ barricades with riot police in South Korea, interviewing communist insurrectionists in the Philippines, and going undercover dressed in Arab garb in the Gaza Strip. He also takes a look at America&’s homegrown horrors as he braves the media frenzy surrounding the Reagan-Gorbachev summit in Washington DC, uncovers the mortifying banality behind the white-bread kitsch of Jerry Falwell&’s Heritage USA, and survives the stultifying boredom of Harvard&’s 350th anniversary celebration. Packed with classic riffs on everything from Polish nightlife under communism to Third World driving tips, Holidays in Hell is one of the best-loved books by &“one of America&’s most hilarious writers&” (Time). &“Wickedly amusing.&” —The Baltimore Sun &“Funny, outrageous, perceptive.&” —The Washington Post Book World
Holidays on Ice
by David SedarisDavid Sedaris's beloved holiday collection is new again with six more pieces, including a never before published story. Along with such favorites as the diaries of a Macy's elf and the annals of two very competitive families, are Sedaris's tales of tardy trick-or-treaters ("Us and Them"); the difficulties of explaining the Easter Bunny to the French ("Jesus Shaves"); what to do when you've been locked out in a snowstorm ("Let It Snow"); the puzzling Christmas traditions of other nations ("Six to Eight Black Men"); what Halloween at the medical examiner's looks like ("The Monster Mash"); and a barnyard secret Santa scheme gone awry ("Cow and Turkey"). No matter what your favorite holiday, you won't want to miss celebrating it with the author who has been called "one of the funniest writers alive" (Economist).
Hollow
by Brian Catling______________________________________________________________________________________"As with all the best fiction, there is a terrifying inevitability about Hollow. The mesmerised reader can't quite believe what is happening next, but happen it does. Time collapses. Eternity yawns. The leakage between life and art, eschatology and wild-bunch Western, is the work of a master craftsman. Let it devour you."Iain Sinclair, author of Ghost Milk"Unsettling and delightful... very clever fun...a sheer, shuddering delight... both frightening and hilarious... almost as if Guillermo del Toro had been asked to film Umberto Eco's The Name of the Rose... Catling is a rare kind of writer. His work has consistent themes but boundless imagination. It is a certain gift to write the most absurd, horrible, fearful things in a very limpid prose.'"Scotland on Sunday____________________________________________________________________________From the author of the Vorrh Trilogy comes an epic odyssey following a group of mercenaries hired to deliver a church's ultimate power-a sacred oracle-as the decadence of carnival gives way to the gravity of lent and the mystic landscape grows ravenous - all set within a Bosch painting.The history of art contains no more imaginative or mysterious paintings that the landscapes of Hieronymus Bosch. Art historians ask where the weird creatures depicted there came from, and so too do the central characters of Hollow as they fight their way across these landscapes and encounter these creatures. Author B Catling is the first novelist to engage fully with Bosch's vision and climb imaginatively into it.In this novel it emerges that Bosch gave colour and form to monsters, 'letting them in' to the real world, and that they were still infesting the landscape when it was painted by Bosch's follower Pieter Bruegel. Now a wild bunch of mercenaries with a mission to deliver an oracle made of cloth, bones and a loud voice take a dangerous journey to the monastery at the base of the Tower of Babel, where the most terrifying secret in the world is kept. As they travel through a country painted first by Bosch and then by Bruegel, they are confronted and seduced by monsters and see scenes painted by them. These include the devil playing dice, a lewd mock wedding with a dirty bride, an unholy being living inside a hollow tree and riding a giant rat, and creatures indulging in inter-species sexual play as depicted in The Garden of Earthly Delights. A local marauding woman called Mad Meg with a small army of looting women from Breugel's Dull Gret is one of this novel's stranger characters. Perhaps it is because B. Catling is himself an artist that he has been able to create a modern narrative masterpiece which brings the painterly genius of Bosch and Breugel alive on the page.
Hollow
by Brian CatlingFrom the author of the Vorrh Trilogy comes an epic odyssey following a group of mercenaries hired to deliver a church's ultimate power-a sacred oracle-as the decadence of carnival gives way to the gravity of lent and the mystic landscape grows ravenous - all set within a Bosch painting.The history of art contains no more imaginative or mysterious paintings that the landscapes of Hieronymus Bosch. Art historians ask where the weird creatures depicted there came from, and so too do the central characters of Hollow as they fight their way across these landscapes and encounter these creatures. Author B Catling is the first novelist to engage fully with Bosch's vision and climb imaginatively into it.In this novel it emerges that Bosch gave colour and form to monsters, 'letting them in' to the real world, and that they were still infesting the landscape when it was painted by Bosch's follower Pieter Bruegel. Now a wild bunch of mercenaries with a mission to deliver an oracle made of cloth, bones and a loud voice take a dangerous journey to the monastery at the base of the Tower of Babel, where the most terrifying secret in the world is kept. As they travel through a country painted first by Bosch and then by Bruegel, they are confronted and seduced by monsters and see scenes painted by them. These include the devil playing dice, a lewd mock wedding with a dirty bride, an unholy being living inside a hollow tree and riding a giant rat, and creatures indulging in inter-species sexual play as depicted in The Garden of Earthly Delights. A local marauding woman called Mad Meg with a small army of looting women from Breugel's Dull Gret is one of this novel's stranger characters. Perhaps it is because B. Catling is himself an artist that he has been able to create a modern narrative masterpiece which brings the painterly genius of Bosch and Breugel alive on the page.(p) 2021 Hodder & Stoughton Ltd
Hollow Kingdom: It's Time To Meet The World's Most Unlikely Hero...
by Kira Jane BuxtonOne pet crow fights to save humanity from an apocalypse in this uniquely hilarious debut from a genre-bending literary author.S.T., a domesticated crow, is a bird of simple pleasures: hanging out with his owner Big Jim, trading insults with Seattle's wild crows (those idiots), and enjoying the finest food humankind has to offer: Cheetos ®.Then Big Jim's eyeball falls out of his head, and S.T. starts to feel like something isn't quite right. His most tried-and-true remedies--from beak-delivered beer to the slobbering affection of Big Jim's loyal but dim-witted dog, Dennis--fail to cure Big Jim's debilitating malady. S.T. is left with no choice but to abandon his old life and venture out into a wild and frightening new world with his trusty steed Dennis, where he discovers that the neighbors are devouring each other and the local wildlife is abuzz with rumors of dangerous new predators roaming Seattle. Humanity's extinction has seemingly arrived, and the only one determined to save it is a foul-mouthed crow whose knowledge of the world around him comes from his TV-watching education.Hollow Kingdom is a humorous, big-hearted, and boundlessly beautiful romp through the apocalypse and the world that comes after, where even a cowardly crow can become a hero.
Hollow Kingdom: It's time to meet the world's most unlikely hero...
by Kira Jane BuxtonA humorous, big-hearted romp through the apocalypse, where even a cowardly crow can become a hero. Perfect for fans of Dawn of the Dead and Isaac Marion's Warm Bodies.'A thoroughly enjoyable account of the end of the world as we know it. The Secret Life of Pets meets The Walking Dead.' Karen Joy Fowler'It's transformative, poignant, and funny as hell. S.T. the irrepressible, cursing crow is my new favourite apocalyptic hero.' Helen Macdonald, New York Times bestselling author of H Is for HawkS.T. is a domesticated crow. He is a bird of simple pleasures: hanging out with his owner Big Jim, trading insults with Seattle's wild crows (those idiots) and enjoying the finest food humankind has to offer: Cheetos.But when Big Jim's eyeball falls out of his head, S.T. starts to feel like something isn't right. His most tried-and-true remedies - from beak-delivered beer to the slobbering affection of the loyal, but dim-witted, dog Dennis - fail to cure his owner. S.T. is left with no choice but to venture out into a frightening new world, where he discovers that the neighbours are devouring each other, and the local wildlife is abuzz with rumours of dangerous new predators roaming Seattle... Humanity's extinction has arrived, and the only one determined to save it is a foul-mouthed crow. Readers love Hollow Kingdom...'Beguilingly different' Bookist (starred review)'...wildly original and inventive, funny and profane' Laurie Frankel, author of This is How It Always Is'I love this book so much! I wanted to set it on fire while hugging it.' Jamie Ford, New York Times bestselling author of Hotel on the Corner of Bitter and Sweet