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The Ha Ha Bonk Book
by Janet AhlbergLaughter guaranteed with The Ha Ha Bonk Book by Janet and Allan Ahlberg - jam-packed with brilliant jokes to tell your dad, your mum, your baby brother, your teacher and anybody else you can think of, such as: What goes ha ha bonk? A man laughing his head off.andWhat goes 99 bonk? A centipede with a wooden legandWhat goes putt, putt, putt, putt, putt, putt, putt, putt?A bad golferand lots more besides!This is an all-time classic favourite joke book for all the family to enjoy.Allan Ahlberg - a former teacher, postman, plumber's mate and gravedigger - is in the super-league of children's writers with sales exceeding 17 million and library borrowings of 13 million. In collaboration with his late wife, Janet, he has published many enduring titles, among them Each Peach Pear Plum, Peepo!, Burglar Bill and The Jolly Postman. In addition he has written novels, collections of stories, sets of easy-readers and joke books.
Hablalo con mi abogado: Viaje sin escalas del altar al juzgado
by Diego GualdaDiego Gualda consigue una crónica aguda, sentimental, profundamenteurbana y cargada de historias que parecen descabelladas pero no lo son,¡porque divorciarse es una locura! Conozcan a Esteban Q: un arquetípico varón porteño, de esos que sondomados hasta que un día dejan de serlo. Un hombre con tres hijosdifíciles, un amigo atorrante, una mucama chismosa, un abogadoexcéntrico, una mascota imposible, una serie enfermiza de amoresfugaces, una cruzada por encontrar a la mujer de sus sueños y, sobretodas las cosas, una ex a la que todo el tiempo tiene que repetirle lomismo:¡Hablalo con mi abogado!El héroe de esta novela comienza sus aventuras a partir de un breve perodefinitorio momento de lucidez, ese en el que se anima a preguntarse: "¿Qué hago yo casado con esta loca?". Así es como deja atrás su etapa conValeria, la madre de sus hijos, y tras años de matrimonio regresa a unterritorio que creía perdido para siempre: la vida de soltero.Nacida como "bloggonovela", la historia de Esteban Q encontrórápidamente su destino de papel dentro de las filas de la literatura degénero, o al menos del género menos pensado: juega con la grafía, losdilemas, los recursos y el encanto de un chick lit, pero desde lasmanos, la pelvis, el corazón y la idea fija de un muchacho argentino,treintañero, golpeado y pasado de rosca a la vez, y parado en el lugarexacto en el que hay una vida atrás y otra por delante.Mezcla el tono de la más noble comedia romántica con un desvergonzadohumor de vestuario, metiendo en la coctelera cretinismo y emoción,ternura y sarcasmo, Facebook y Viaje a las estrellas, centro y barrio,lucidez y ebriedad, tecno y Beatles y muchas otras deliciosasdiscordancias.
La hacker
by Nunila de MendozaLa chica genio y espía informática logró robarle al millonario Robert Taylor también su corazón. ¡La encontró! Durante seis largos meses Sebastián Taylor esperó esa llamada, y por fin la podría ver cara a cara. Tener delante a la mujer que se burló de él como si fuera un niño. Que estuvo a punto de arruinar su carrera y que se mantuvo en sus pensamientos cada minuto de esos seis meses. Sonreía pensando en el susto que le daría cuando lo viera... Aunque al final el sorprendido fue él. Sayumi es una mujer de inteligencia superdotada, una genio informático, un ser antisocial y una hacker. Una ladrona en la red, que se introdujo en el mundo de un hombre poderoso, millonario y miembro de una de las familias más poderosas de Nueva york. Aunque se suponía que Taylor y CIA solo eran un trabajo más, otro de tantos..., pero la vida le preparaba una difícil ecuación que estaba más allá de su entendimiento: el amor. Personajes complejos, extraños y divertidos; mundos opuestos; situaciones límite..., y ambientado en la maravillosa ciudad de Nueva York, La hacker es una comedia romántica original y diferente.
Hag-Seed: The Tempest Retold (Hogarth Shakespeare #4)
by Margaret AtwoodWilliam Shakespeare's The Tempest retold as Hag-Seed Felix is at the top of his game as Artistic Director of the Makeshiweg Theatre Festival. His productions have amazed and confounded. Now he's staging a Tempest like no other: not only will it boost his reputation, it will heal emotional wounds. Or that was the plan. Instead, after an act of unforeseen treachery, Felix is living in exile in a backwoods hovel, haunted by memories of his beloved lost daughter, Miranda. And also brewing revenge. After twelve years, revenge finally arrives in the shape of a theatre course at a nearby prison. Here, Felix and his inmate actors will put on his Tempest and snare the traitors who destroyed him. It's magic! But will it remake Felix as his enemies fall? Margaret Atwood's novel take on Shakespeare's play of enchantment, retribution, and second chances leads us on an interactive, illusion-ridden journey filled with new surprises and wonders of its own.From the Hardcover edition.
Haggard Hawks and Paltry Poltroons: The Origins of English in Ten Words
by Paul Anthony JonesWhat do the following ten words all have in common - haggard, mews, codger, arouse, musket, poltroon, gorge, allure, pounce and turn-tail? All fairly familiar and straightforward words, after a little digging into their histories it turns out that all of them derive from falconry: the adjective haggard described an adult falcon captured from the wild; mews were the enclosures hawks were kept in whilst moulting; codger is thought to come from 'cadger', the member of a hunting party who carried the birds' perches, and so on.This, essentially, is what Ten Words is all about - the book collects together hundreds of the most intriguing, surprising and little known histories and etymologies of a whole host of English words. From ancient place names to unusual languages, and obscure professions to military slang, this is a fascinating treasure trove of linguistic facts.
Haggard Hawks and Paltry Poltroons: The Origins of English in Ten Words
by Paul Anthony JonesWhat do the following ten words all have in common - haggard, mews, codger, arouse, musket, poltroon, gorge, allure, pounce and turn-tail? All fairly familiar and straightforward words, after a little digging into their histories it turns out that all of them derive from falconry: the adjective haggard described an adult falcon captured from the wild; mews were the enclosures hawks were kept in whilst moulting; codger is thought to come from 'cadger', the member of a hunting party who carried the birds' perches, and so on.This, essentially, is what Ten Words is all about - the book collects together hundreds of the most intriguing, surprising and little known histories and etymologies of a whole host of English words. From ancient place names to unusual languages, and obscure professions to military slang, this is a fascinating treasure trove of linguistic facts.
Haiku for the Single Girl
by Beth GriffenhagenAn uproarious, uplifting, and brazenly honest celebration of the single girl's life. Unsolicited relationship advice from relatives, disastrous dates, men who wear thumb rings, and the moments of deep satisfaction when a single girl realizes that she can do whatever she wants with her time- it's all here in Haiku for the Single Girl. Reading this brilliantly incisive and wittily illustrated collection, every woman- whether single or not-will laugh until she cries, and then start laughing all over again.
Haiku Mama: (Because 17 Syllables Is All You Have Time to Read)
by Kari Anne RoyYay! The perfect time To strip down naked and scream— When Mommy’s on the phone. This irreverent collection of candid haiku is full of laugh-out-loud observations on dirty diapers, playdate anxiety, obnoxious purple dinosaurs, choking hazards, stay-at-home dads, and more. It’s a book of verse every new mother will appreciate. Read, laugh, roll your eyes, and know that you are not alone!
Haikus for Jews
by David M. BaderWhy is this haiku book different from all other haiku books? For centuries, the Japanese haiku has been one of the world's most dazzling poetic forms. In just three short lines, it captures the sublime beauty of nature--the croak of the bullfrog, the buzzing of the dragonfly, the shriek of the cicada, the scream of the cormorant. Now, with Haikus for Jews, there is finally a collection that celebrates the many advantages of staying indoors. Inspired by ancient Zen teachings and timeless Jewish noodging, this masterful work is filled with insights that will make you exclaim, "Ah!" or at least "Oy!" Whether you are Jewish or you simply enjoy a good kosher haiku, these chai-kus (so called because of their high chutzpah content) are certain to amuse. What's more, with each poem limited to seventeen syllables,Haikus for Jewsis perfect for people in a hurry. Find out why God has made these The Chosen Haikus.
Hail, Hail, Euphoria!: Presenting the Marx Brothers in Duck Soup, the Greatest War Movie Ever Made
by Roy Blount Jr.Nearly eighty years after its release, the Marx Brothers film Duck Soup remains one of the most influential pieces of political satire in history. In Hail, Hail, Euphoria!, bestselling author Roy Blount Jr. tells the history and making of Duck Soup, examining the comedic genius of the Marx Brothers in their finest hour and nine minutes.In Duck Soup, a slim, agile, quick-witted, self-assured young man is summoned to save a nation from financial ruin. As the nation's new president, he brings together a team of rivals, a band of brothers. Those brothers are Pinky, Chicolini, and Lt. Bob Roland. Their leader? None other than Rufus T. Firefly. The humor and idiosyncratic wit of Duck Soup are saluted by the author's own in this gem of a book, offering a behind-the-scenes tale of show business and brotherhood that only a true Marx Brothers aficionado could tell.
Hail to the Chief! Jokes About the President (Make Me Laugh)
by Diane L. Burns Clint BurnsA collection of jokes about the Presidents and aspects of our political system.
Hail to the Chump (Misadventures of Willie Plummett #9)
by Paul Buchanan Rod RandallWhen 13-year-old Willie runs for class president, he thinks he's got the race sewn up. Surely everyone would vote for him over Harriet Bink and Leonard Grubb, the town bully. When Willie takes steps to ensure his victory, he learns the value of integrity. Join Willie for the tightest election Glenfield Middle School has ever seen! Willie Plummet, who has a talent for misadventure, discovers how his Christian values apply to politics when he becomes entangled in the election for president of his eighth-grade class. Willie gets in hilarious and embarrassing situations. Don't miss more books in this series in Bookshare's library for all of you who like reading about life in middle school.
Hailey Twitch and the Campground Itch
by Lauren BarnholdtThe third book in a delightful new series featuring a seven-year-old mastermind who tries really hard not to blame her invisible friend for getting her into heaps of delicious trouble. With the help of her best friend, Hailey stirs up some good, old-fashioned camping fun. But when they soon discover the campground's covered in overgrown poison ivy, Hailey needs Maybelle the sprite's magical help. . .
Hailey Twitch and the Wedding Glitch
by Lauren BarnholdtA rollicking new story featuring the sweet and spunky Hailey Twitch and her mischievous sprite, Maybelle. The next installment in this hilarious and heartwarming series featuring a seven-year-old mastermind who tries really hard not to blame her invisible friend for getting her into heaps of delicious trouble. Hailey's magic sprite, Maybelle, has finally gotten control of her magic! Does that mean that Maybelle no longer needs Hailey? As if that's not enough to worry Hailey, now she's got her hands full being a flower girl in her aunt's wedding. "The sort of whimsical, charming story that parents will have no problem reading along with their children" -- Portland Books ExaminerGrades: 2-4
Hailey's Hero (Bayside Bachelors #1)
by Judy DuarteSHE DIDN’T BELIEVE IN HEROESHailey Conway believed in making a good, predictable life for herself. Until San Diego detective Nick Granger saved her from a mugger and swept her off her feet-and into bed. Their steamy one-night stand was almost enough to melt the snow that had stranded them together...and then they said goodbye.Except Nick’s dark eyes and whispered endearments haunted Hailey’s dreams, and continued to set her world on edge. For their night together had conceived more than insatiable passion. They had a baby on the way. And when Hailey shared her secret, she knew the rugged rebel might break her heart...unless he became the hero who saved it.
The Hair Book (Bright & Early Books(R))
by GRAHAM TETHERAn easy reader about hair--and all the things you can do with it--that's perfect for fans of classic Dr. Seuss concept books like The Foot Book and The Eye Book!This super-simple, rhymed riff features a charming cast of human and animal characters sporting all kinds of hair--short, long, curly, straight, dark, fair, braided, tied, washed, dyed--you name it! Written for children learning to read on their own, it's filled with words and concepts kids encounter every day. Perfect for reading aloud or reading alone, it's also great for starting discussions about which kinds of animals have hair and which do not. With bright, energetic artwork by Andrew Joyner, this is the kind of fun, easy reader that is hard for kids to put down!
Hair Cut and Just a Nibble (Don't Look Now #3)
by Paul JenningsRicky is an ordinary boy, about 10 years old, who dreams of being famous. And he has a secret that might just help him realise this dream. Because Ricky can fly. Truly. He can really fly. But there's a hitch. He can only fly when absolutely no one is looking. If a person, or an animal, or a bird sees him while he's flying, he will fall out of the sky and almost certainly die. Will he risk flying in public, just for a shot at being something more than ordinary? He'll do anything to impress Samantha, who is blind. The third book in this brilliant new series contains two complete stand-alone stories, broken into short chapters, liberally illustrated with hilarious cartoons.
Hair of the Dog (June and Sidney #2)
by John Norman HarrisA Canadian mobster gets his day in court in this comic crime novel by the author of The Weird World of Wes Beattie. Cranky beyond his years, Canadian lawyer Sidney Grant has a loathing for social hypocrisies and a fondness for poking at them. And his smart-alecky new bride June feels much the same way. Now both are brimming with indignation when Vince Lamberti gets blamed for the murder of a rich old lady. It&’s not that Vince is exactly innocent. He is, after all, a mobster. But the facts of the case against him don&’t add up. And no matter how many people would like them to keep their mouths shut, Sidney and June simply can&’t abide bad math.
Hair of the Dog to Paint the Town Red: The Curious Origins of Everyday Sayings and Fun Phrases
by Andrew Thompson400 intriguing, entertaining, and often hilarious etymological journiesEnglish is filled with curious, intriguing and bizarre phrases. This book reveals the surprising, captivating and even hilarious origins behind 400 of them, including:• Read between the Lines• Cat Got Your Tongue?• Put a Sock in It• Close, but No Cigar• Bring Home the Bacon• Caught Red-Handed• Under the Weather• Raining Cats and DogsPerfect for trivia and language lovers alike, this entertaining collection is the ultimate guide to understanding these baffling mini mysteries of the English language.
Hair Raising
by Kevin J. Anderson"The Dan Shamble books are great fun." --Simon R. Green Ready-To-WereThe fur really flies when a serial scalper stalks the supernatural citizens of the Unnatural Quarter, targeting werewolves--and what's sadder than a chrome-domed lycanthrope? Zombie P.I. Dan Shamble is on the case, trying to stop an all-out gang war between full-time and full-moon werewolves. As he combs through the tangled clues to hunt down the bald facts, things get hairy fast.Shamble lurches through a loony landscape of voodoo tattoo artists, illicit cockatrice fights, body builders assembling make-your-own-human kits, and perhaps scariest of all, crazed fans in town for the Worldwide Horror Convention. Yet the reign of hair-raising terror grows longer. If Shamble can't snip this off at the roots, the whole world could end up howling mad.Praise for the Dan Shamble Novels"Prepare to be entertained."--Charlaine Harris"Darkly funny, wonderfully original."--Kelley Armstrong "Two decaying thumbs up!"--Jonathan Maberry
The Haircutter: A Novel
by Dana ThompsonBorn in the small town of Ten Sleep, Wyoming, The Haircutter—or H.C.— murders an enigmatic “Jenny” and flees to the glittering anonymity of New York City. Eight years later, after a series of odd jobs and lonely meals, H.C. is charged with driving a wolf from New York back to Wyoming, where it was captured for use in a conceptual art show. While back out West, he has a chance encounter with the girl he could never forget—slightly cross-eyed Carol. Now shacked up with H.C. in the city, Carol discovers H.C.’s eponymous secret—his compulsion to cut off locks of strangers’ hair in public, archive them on a hidden door in their apartment. Carol declares the bizarre habit to be high art, and sends the work to the eccentric gallerist Leslie Christmas, thrusting The Haircutter into the spotlight of NYC’s art scene. Christmas creates a sensation out of the rube from Wyoming, who is only along for the ride to keep Carol in his bed, but when he is accused of another murder, he must scramble to set the record straight. The Haircutter tells the story of what is gained and lost in H.C.’s pursuit of love and meaning in a fascinatingly absurdist world. By turns hysterical, disgusting, subversive, and heartbreaking, The Haircutter is a madcap romp alive with cultural provocation and twisted stereotypes. It is an uproarious send-up to fame and the pursuit of artistic expression that fearlessly combines sincerity and debauchery.
Hairdresser on Fire
by Daniel LevesqueThis is not a hair book. It's a dark comedy of a spiritual misfit, a child with a dream born into the wrong town. Religious cults, corporate cults, insane clients-Francis can't catch a break. Francis has observed his own inability to fit in since birth, and his decision to be a professional cosmetologist only exacerbates his innate oddness.Daniel LeVesque accepted his cosmically assigned career of cosmetologist after attending the Arthur Angelo School of Cosmetology and Hair Design. His writing appears in Punk Globe and numerous anthologies. He currently resides in Oakland, California. This is his first book.
Hairpin Curves: A Road Trip Romance
by Elia WintersRITA® Award—winning author Elia Winters delivers a sexy, playful frenemies-to-lovers road-trip romance.Megan Harris had hopes of seeing the world, but at twenty-five she’s never even left Florida. Now a wedding invitation lures her to Quebec…in February. When her ex-friend Scarlett offers to be her plus-one (yeah, that’s a whole story) and suggests they turn the journey into an epic road trip, Megan reluctantly agrees to the biggest adventure of her life.A week together in a car is a surefire way to kill a crush, and Scarlett Andrews has had a big one on Megan for years. The important thing is fixing their friendship.As the miles roll away, what starts as harmless road-trip games and rest-stop dares escalates into something like intimacy. And when a surprise snowstorm forces Megan and Scarlett to hunker down without the open road as distraction, they’ve got a bigger challenge than making it to the church on time: facing the true nature of their feelings for each other.Carina Adores is home to highly romantic contemporary love stories where LGBTQ+ characters find their happily-ever-afters.A new Carina Adores title is available each month:The Hideaway Inn by Philip William StoverThe Girl Next Door by Chelsea M. CameronJust Like That by Cole McCadeBetter Than People by Roan ParrishThe Love Study by Kris RipperThe Secret Ingredient by KD FisherJust Like This by Cole McCadeTeddy Spenser Isn’t Looking for Love by Kim Fielding
Hairy Harold: Book 8 (My Freaky Family #8)
by Laurence AnholtMeet Harold - the hairiest of all Ruby's relations! Join Ruby and Harold as they continue the hilarious tour of their crazy family in this delightful new spin on Laurence Anholt's much-loved series. With the original fabulous illustrations by Tony Ross, these popular books have been refreshed for a vibrant and contemporary feel.
Hairy Maclary, Sit
by Lynley DoddMischievous Hairy Maclary finds that he is not in the mood for the Kennel Club's obedience class. Lynley Dodd, winner of numerous awards for her hugely popular series featuring Hairy Maclary and his many canine and feline friends, continues to entertain us with delightful rhyming text. Enjoy the entire Hairy Maclary collection as he and his mischevious companions explore their neighborhood. Gold Star First Readers are for children learning basic reading skills. The simple text incorporates repetition and rhyme to encourage and build confident readers.