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How Not to Grow Up: A Coming of Age Memoir. Sort of.
by Richard HerringComedian Richard Herring has a major problem. He's about to turn 40 and hasn't seen it coming. He's not married, doesn't have a proper job or 2.4 children. But now, finally, it looks as if the world expects him to be a grown up - and he's completely unprepared for it.As the momentous and terrifying event approaches (his birthday), Richard notices a steep decline in his own behaviour. Inexplicably he begins to behave more childishly - hanging out with 22-year-olds, developing an unhealthy addiction to Flumps and even getting into a ludicrous fight.How Not to Grow Up is the funny story of how a self-confessed perpetual Big Kid deals with his greatest fear - getting older - and is the perfect book for everyone who, deep down, still thinks that they're 18.
How Not to Marry an Earl (Those Scandalous Stricklands #2)
by Christine MerrillShe much prefers an American stranger over the earl she’s meant to marry—but a surprise awaits . . .To escape marriage to the newly inherited Earl of Comstock, bookish Charity, the plainest of the Strickland sisters, must find her family’s missing diamonds.She meets her match in an intellectual stranger auditing the estate . . . not knowing he is Lord Comstock himself!With him, Charity feels different—even desirable! But will seizing one night of passion bind her to the very man she’s determined to avoid?Praise for the romance of Christine Merrill“Readers will enjoy the strong characters, swift pace, lively wit and the wickedly fun escapades that stubborn lovers can get into.” —RT Book Reviews
How Not to Read: Harnessing the Power of a Literature-Free Life
by Dan WilburThe last stupid book you'll ever need to readDon't want to slog through lengthy old books like A Tale of Two Cities or The Giving Tree? Sick of being judged by your avid-reader 'friends' who talk about books you've never heard of? Want to sound smarter without the strain of actually bettering yourself? Never fear. In How Not to Read, you'll find techniques to take your way through literature so you never have to read another book-ever!Inside, you'll find:••Tips for getting through anything you have to read by reading faster:Just read every third word. (One Hundred Years of Solitude becomes 'Many as the Colonel was, that when him ice. ' Wow! It's like a Gertrude Stein poem, only more comprehensible!)•Entire genres summed up in a single page: Historical fiction becomes 'Guess who else had sex? Hitler!'•Literary insults to make yourself seem smarter: 'The only thing sadder than you is a Joycean epiphany!' 'You're as weak as a passive sentence written in negative form. And probably not considered by anyone to be worth more than an adverb. 'It's time to stop fearing those people who keep bringing up Ayn Rand. How Not to Read is here to liberate the world from ever needing to read a book again. Praise for betterbooktitles. com'Probably our favorite Tumblr of the Week of all time. . . A blunt and hilarious summation of what that classic is really about. ' Time's NewsFeed blog'Inspired really. ' NPR's Monkey See blog
How Not to Run for Class President
by Debbie Palen Ellen Vandenberg Catherine A. HapkaLooking for a fun, light introduction to the campaign process? Join the brothers from the How Not to . . . series as they navigate a class election! Third grader Will couldn't care less about boring school politics. But when his friend Chelsea proposes a Reading Buddy program that would require Will to hang out with the kindergartners (and therefore his little brother, Steve), he makes an impulsive decision to run against her! Supportive brother that he is, Steve takes full responsibility for managing his brother's campaign . . . and things quickly spiral out of control. This fun reader gently teaches what it means to be a responsible politician, and even gets some election basics into the mix. A hilarious tool to kick off classroom units on elections! Step 4 Readers use challenging vocabulary and short paragraphs to tell exciting stories. These books are for newly independent readers who read simple sentences with confidence.From the Trade Paperback edition.
How Not to Start Third Grade (Step into Reading)
by Cathy Hapka Debbie Palen Ellen TitlebaumWill should be excited to start third grade. But his little brother, Steve, is starting kindergarten. The same laugh-out-loud writing and hilarious illustrations that brought us How Not to Babysit Your Brother now portray the tribulations and embarrassments of starting school with a very troublesome little brother. School will never be the same!Cathy Hapka and Ellen Titlebaum are the authors of many books for children. This is their second book about Will and Steve. They live in Lincoln University, Pennsylvania, and New York City, respectively.Debbie Palen has illustrated many books for children, including How Not to Babysit Your Brother and the first four books in the Andrew Lost series. She lives in Cleveland, Ohio.
How Perfect Is That
by Sarah BirdBlythe Young is stumbling down the Texas social ladder after a series of dubious moral choices all aimed at making a mark on high society. But now instead of high-priced cocktails and fancy dresses, Blythe must deal with a love of pharmaceuticals and an impending bankruptcy - and that's only the beginning. But not to worry, Blythe can make luxury even in a fleabag boarding house. Still, it is only when she's in danger of losing her one true friend that Blythe finally faces the facts and prepares to make amends with the world. But first she'll have to fix her nails.
How Proust Can Change Your Life (Vintage International)
by Alain De BottonAlain de Botton combines two unlikely genres--literary biography and self-help manual--in the hilarious and unexpectedly practical How Proust Can Change Your Life.Who would have thought that Marcel Proust, one of the most important writers of our century, could provide us with such a rich source of insight into how best to live life? Proust understood that the essence and value of life was the sum of its everyday parts. As relevant today as they were at the turn of the century, Proust's life and work are transformed here into a no-nonsense guide to, among other things, enjoying your vacation, reviving a relationship, achieving original and unclichéd articulation, being a good host, recognizing love, and understanding why you should never sleep with someone on a first date. It took de Botton to find the inspirational in Proust's essays, letters and fiction and, perhaps even more surprising, to draw out a vivid and clarifying portrait of the master from between the lines of his work.Here is Proust as we have never seen or read him before: witty, intelligent, pragmatic. He might well change your life.
How Rory Thorne Destroyed the Multiverse: Book One of the Thorne Chronicles (The Thorne Chronicles #1)
by K. EasonFirst in a duology that reimagines fairy tale tropes within a space opera—The Princess Bride meets Princess Leia. Rory Thorne is a princess with thirteen fairy blessings, the most important of which is to see through flattery and platitudes. As the eldest daughter, she always imagined she’d inherit her father’s throne and govern the interplanetary Thorne Consortium. Then her father is assassinated, her mother gives birth to a son, and Rory is betrothed to the prince of a distant world. When Rory arrives in her new home, she uncovers a treacherous plot to unseat her newly betrothed and usurp his throne. An unscrupulous minister has conspired to name himself Regent to the minor (and somewhat foolish) prince. With only her wits and a small team of allies, Rory must outmaneuver the Regent and rescue the prince. How Rory Thorne Destroyed the Multiverse is a feminist reimagining of familiar fairytale tropes and a story of resistance and self-determination—how small acts of rebellion can lead a princess to not just save herself, but change the course of history.
How Santa Started
by Borys PluznykWho was Santa before we called him "Santa"? And how did he get involved with elves and reindeer anyway? What turned his beard white? And how did he begin delivering toys and gifts to children on Christmas Eve? A story from long ago holds answers to these questions that will surprise and delight you.
How Slippery Is a Banana Peel?
by Rebecca DonnellyRebecca Donnelly's How Slippery Is a Banana Peel? is a picture book companion to Cats Are a Liquid celebrating the science and the slipperiness of banana peels—a perfect introduction to friction, featuring illustrations by Misa Saburi.Volcanoes roar,But banana peels race.Rockets soar,Like bananas through space.A group of kid-experimenters at a science fair explore the slipperiness of banana peels—a perfect introduction to scientific concepts! It's funny and STEM-inspired, with back matter on friction and a kitchen science experiment. These playful and mischievous banana peels will capture the imagination of readers.
How Sweet It Is
by Dylan NewtonWhat happens when the queen of romance falls for the king of horror--you get "a hilarious rom-com comp," perfect for fans of Beach Read. (Kirkus, starred review)Event planner Kate Sweet is famous for creating the perfect happily-ever-after moment for her clients&’ dream weddings. So how is it that her best friend has roped her into planning a bestselling horror writer&’s book launch extravaganza? But the second Kate meets—or rather, accidentally maims—the drop-dead-hot Drake Matthews, her well-ordered life quickly transforms into an absolute nightmare.Drake Matthews is tired of the spotlight and tired of his reputation as the Knight of Nightmares. He's really a nice guy! But he&’s not prepared for Kate, a fearless agent of chaos in steel-tipped stilettos, or for that sweet sting of attraction he feels for her. She&’s inspiring him to take his writing in a whole new direction—one that no one expects. Because now Kate and Drake are changing up the rules, and this plot twist might just surprise everyone . . . including themselves."Fans of The Hating Game by Sally Thorne, Red, White and Royal Blue by Casey McQuiston, Get a Life, Chloe Brown by Talia Hibbert, and Written in the Stars by Alexandria Bellefleur will adore How Sweet It Is!" --The Nerd DailyAs featured in:PopSugar: Must-Read July BooksPopSugar: 12 Swoonworthy Romances to Read in One Sitting
How Tia Lola Came to (Visit) Stay
by Julia AlvarezA delightfully entertaining story of family and culture from acclaimed author Julia Alvarez.Moving to Vermont after his parents split, Miguel has plenty to worry about! Tía Lola, his quirky, carismática, and maybe magical aunt makes his life even more unpredictable when she arrives from the Dominican Republic to help out his Mami. Like her stories for adults, Julia Alvarez's first middle-grade book sparkles with magic as it illuminates a child's experiences living in two cultures.From the Trade Paperback edition.
How Tia Lola Came to (Visit) Stay
by Julia AlvarezA delightfully entertaining story of family and culture from acclaimed author Julia Alvarez.Moving to Vermont after his parents split, Miguel has plenty to worry about! Tía Lola, his quirky, carismática, and maybe magical aunt makes his life even more unpredictable when she arrives from the Dominican Republic to help out his Mami. Like her stories for adults, Julia Alvarez's first middle-grade book sparkles with magic as it illuminates a child's experiences living in two cultures.From the Trade Paperback edition.
How Tia Lola Came to Stay
by Julia AlvarezA delightfully entertaining story of family and culture from acclaimed author Julia Alvarez. Moving to Vermont after his parents split, Miguel has plenty to worry about! Tía Lola, his quirky,carismática, and maybe magical aunt makes his life even more unpredictable when she arrives from the Dominican Republic to help out his Mami. Like her stories for adults, Julia Alvarez’s first middle-grade book sparkles with magic as it illuminates a child’s experiences living in two cultures.
How Tia Lola Ended Up Starting Over
by Julia AlvarezWelcome to Tia Lola's bed and breakfast! With the help of her niece and nephew and the three Sword Sisters, Tía Lola is opening the doors of Colonel Charlebois' grand old Vermont house to visitors from all over. But Tía Lola and the children soon realize that running a B & B isn't as easy they had initially thought--especially when it appears that someone is out to sabotage them! Will Tía Lola and the kids discover who's behind the plot to make their B & B fail? And will Tía Lola's family and friends be able to plan her a surprise birthday party in her own B & B without her finding out?The last book in the Tía Lola StoriesFrom the Hardcover edition.
How Tia Lola Learned to Teach
by Julia AlvarezTía Lola has been invited to teach Spanish at her niece and nephew's elementary school. But Miguel wants nothing to do with the arrangement. He hasn't had an easy time adjusting to his new school in Vermont and doesn't like living so far away from Papi, who has a new girlfriend and an announcement to make. On the other hand, Miguel's little sister, Juanita, can't wait to introduce her colorfully dressed aunt with her migrating beauty mark to all her friends at school--that is, if she can stop getting distracted long enough to remember to do so. Before long, Tía Lola is organizing a Spanish treasure hunt and a Carnaval fiesta at school. Will Miguel be willing to join the fun? Will Juanita get her head out of the clouds and lead her classmates to victory in the treasure hunt?Told with abundant humor and heart, Julia Alvarez's new Tía Lola story is the long-awaited sequel to the beloved How Tía Lola Came to Visit Stay.From the Hardcover edition.
How Tia Lola Saved the Summer
by Julia AlvarezMiguel Guzman isn't exactly looking forward to the summer now that his mother has agreed to let the Sword family--a father, his three daughters, and their dog--live with them while they decide whether or not to move to Vermont. Little does Miguel know his aunt has something up her sleeve that just may make this the best summer ever. With her usual flair for creativity and fun, Tía Lola decides to start a summer camp for Miguel, his little sister, and the three Sword girls, complete with magical swords, nighttime treasure hunts, campfires, barbecues, and an end-of-summer surprise!The warm and funny third book in the Tía Lola Stories is sure to delight young readers and leave them looking forward to their own summer fun!From the Hardcover edition.
How To Attract The Wombat
by Will CuppyHere is one of Will Cuppy's three classic "How-To's," considering notable birds and animals whose habits (and often existence) seem to have disturbed Cuppy ("Birds Who Can't Even Fly," "Optional Insects," "Octopuses and Those Things"), as well as more mundane creatures like the frog, the gnat, and the moa, who have no visible vices but whose virtues are truly awful. Spanning the breadth of the animal kingdom, Cuppy neatly classes his observations for easy reference: Problem Mammals, Pleasures of Pond Life, Birds Who Can't Sing and Know It. Included with 50 shorter pieces are longer meditations like 'The Poet and the Nautilus," "Swan-upping, Indeed!" and "How to Swat a Fly," which codifies the essentials of this simple activity in ten hilarious principles. All this, plus over 100 delightful Nofziger drawings! But the seat of honor is, of course, occupied by the Wombat, the nocturnal star of three essays. Whether asleep in Rossetti's silver epergne or tunneling under the lawn, the wombat never fails to fascinate Cuppy, clearly supplying his alter ego for the animal kingdom.
How To Be A Complete and Utter Blunt: Diary of a Reluctant Social Media Sensation
by James Blunt'Opinions are like arseholes - everybody has one'James Blunt, 6 December 2014Once upon a time, James Blunt's most enduring legacy was a three-minute, thirty-second pop song about a girl he saw on the underground, and a nation's worth of abuse. But with the invention of Twitter, James found his real voice, and with it, the chance to reply with a simple 'up yours'. Now the King of Twitter has ascended to the heady heights of occasionally 'winning the internet'. Selected and introduced by James himself, this is a year in the life of the world's most reluctant social media sensation. Now learn for yourself how to be a complete and utter Blunt . . .
How To Be A Complete and Utter Blunt: Diary of a Reluctant Social Media Sensation
by James Blunt'Opinions are like arseholes - everybody has one'James Blunt, 6 December 2014Once upon a time, James Blunt's most enduring legacy was a three-minute, thirty-second pop song about a girl he saw on the underground, and a nation's worth of abuse. But with the invention of Twitter, James found his real voice, and with it, the chance to reply with a simple 'up yours'. Now the King of Twitter has ascended to the heady heights of occasionally 'winning the internet'. Selected and introduced by James himself, this is a year in the life of the world's most reluctant social media sensation. Now learn for yourself how to be a complete and utter Blunt . . .
How To Be A Little Sod
by Simon BrettNew parents read on... Have you ever wondered, as you look down lovingly at your sleeping baby, what's really going on in that tiny mind? At last a baby tells all... How to be a Little Sod is a baby's eye view of the world - a week-by-week diary of that first traumatic year of life, which makes it quite clear who's suffering the traumas. This bestselling book is absolutely guaranteed to be of no practical use to new parents - but it has helped thousands to get through those disruptive early months. A word of warning, though - don't leave it around where babies can reach it! Illustrated by Tony Ross
How To Be A Little Sod (How To Be A Little Sod Ser. #Bk. 1)
by OrionNew parents read on? Have you ever wondered, as you look down lovingly at your sleeping baby, what?s really going on in that tiny mind? At last a baby tells all? How to be a Little Sod is a baby?s eye view of the world ? a week-by-week diary of that first traumatic year of life, which makes it quite clear who?s suffering the traumas. This bestselling book is absolutely guaranteed to be of no practical use to new parents ? but it has helped thousands to get through those disruptive early months. A word of warning, though ? don?t leave it around where babies can reach it! Illustrated by Tony Ross
How To Be Right
by Greg GutfeldIt's not enough to be right, these days--especially when you're not left. To survive, the right must learn how to express nonliberal principles as effectively as possible, and persuade others of their point of view. It is an art that demands patience, research, humor, understanding, creative thinking, learning from your opponent and even mimicking their tactics. In How to Be Right: the Art of Being Persuasively Correct, Gutfeld reveals the strategies that have helped him keep a steady job for almost three decades. From "Discard Your Outrage" and "Outcompassion Them" To "Find the Right's Obama" and "Use your Mom," Gutfeld gives readers the tools they'll need to argue, influence, and convince their friends, family and foes throughout the 2016 election cycle.From the Hardcover edition.
How To Be Right
by James DelingpoleAs a journalist for the Sunday Telegraph and The Spectator, James Delingpole has expressed his thoughts - articulately and amusingly - on everything from politics to popular music, from school sports days to spliffs. In this A-Z of brief essays he turns his lively mind to modern society gone mad. Can't understand what's wrong with much-loved feet and inches? Don't believe the global-warming hype? Wondering whatever happened to good, old-fashioned universities? Pouring scorn on the state of Britain after ten years under Brown and Blair, HOW TO BE RIGHT couldn't have come along at a more appropriate time. Prepare to foam and splutter, and to be seriously entertained.
How To Be Right
by James DelingpoleAs a journalist for the Sunday Telegraph and The Spectator, James Delingpole has expressed his thoughts - articulately and amusingly - on everything from politics to popular music, from school sports days to spliffs. In this A-Z of brief essays he turns his lively mind to modern society gone mad. Can't understand what's wrong with much-loved feet and inches? Don't believe the global-warming hype? Wondering whatever happened to good, old-fashioned universities? Pouring scorn on the state of Britain after ten years under Brown and Blair, HOW TO BE RIGHT couldn't have come along at a more appropriate time. Prepare to foam and splutter, and to be seriously entertained.