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How to Argue with a Cat: A Human's Guide to the Art of Persuasion
by Jay Heinrichs Natalie Palmer-SuttonLearn how to persuade cats—the world’s most skeptical and cautious negotiators—with this primer on rhetoric and argument from the New York Times bestselling author of Thank You for Arguing!Cats are skilled manipulators who can talk you into just about anything without a single word (or maybe a meow or two). They can get you to drop whatever you’re doing and play with them. They can make you serve their dinner way ahead of schedule. They can get you to sit down in an instant to provide a lap. On the other hand, try getting a cat to do what you want....While it’s hard, persuading a cat is possible. And after that, persuading humans becomes a breeze, and that is what you will learn in this book. How to Argue with a Cat will teach you how to:· Hold an intelligent conversation—one of the few things easier to do with a cat than a human.· Argue logically, even if your opponent is furry and irrational.· Hack up a fallacy (the hairball of logic).· Make your body do the talking (cats are very good at this).· Master decorum: the art of fitting in with cats, venture capitalists, or humans.· Learn the wisdom of predator timing to pounce at the right moment.· Get someone to do something or stop doing it.· Earn any creature’s respect and loyalty.
How to Avoid a Wombat's Bum (Mitchell Symons' Trivia Books #1)
by Mitchell SymonsDid you know THAT:The first ready-to-eat breakfast cereal was Shredded Wheat in 1893 (it beat Kellogg's Corn Flakes by just five years)Scarlett Johansson, Ashton Kutcher and Simon Cowell all have twin brothers.Everton were the first British football club to introduce a stripe down the side of their shorts.The word DUDE was coined by Oscar Wilde and his friends. It is a combination of the words 'duds' and 'attitude'.Well you do now! Filled with fantastic facts and figures to amaze and intrigue . . . once you start reading you'll be hooked for hours!
How to Avoid the Marriage Mart (Breaking the Marriage Rule #3)
by Eva ShepherdA notorious rakeMeets a spirited spinster…At a weekend shooting party, where the guests are as determined to bag a marriage partner as they are a pheasant, two attendees are under siege. The Duke of Kingsford from a clutch of desperate debutantes, and Charlotte FitzRoy from her matchmaking mother! A pretend courtship between them should keep the others at bay, but an unexpected, impassioned kiss may just bring about the marriage they both sought to avoid!From Harlequin Historical: Your romantic escape to the past. Breaking the Marriage RulesBook 1: Beguiling the DukeBook 2: Awakening the DuchessBook 3: Aspirations of a Lady’s MaidBook 4: How to Avoid the Marriage Mart
How to Baby: A No-Advice-Given Guide to Motherhood, with Drawings
by Liana FinckA wryly personal and deeply relatable graphic memoir skewering the &“traditional&” parenting book to chronicle the absurdities, frustrations, and soaring joys of new parenthood—from the acclaimed New Yorker cartoonist and authorHow do you know if you&’re ready to have a baby? How do you know if you might be pregnant? And how do you deal with peeing all the time and being hungry all the time and fielding well-meaning but kind of insulting advice and finding a doula and being dropped by your old friends and learning why it&’s called mom brain and not dad brain and the tyranny of the milestones you&’re not meeting and negotiating boundaries with in-laws and realizing that your heart now exists outside of your chest and in the body of this tiny little being whose entire existence depends on the quality of your care? To tackle these questions and many others, award-winning cartoonist and memoirist Liana Finck began illustrating her early years of motherhood, giving images and language to her insecurities, frustrations, and wild joy. In How to Baby, Liana takes her witty and lacerating cartoons (&“Hobbies for Pregnant Women: Waiting on Hold with the Insurance Company&”) and weaves them together with comic essays (&“You Married a Brute. Worse. You&’re a Nag: Go Ahead and Argue with Each Other&”), handy lists (&“Nesting. The Comprehensive List of What to Buy and Why Getting Things Used Is Dangerous and Unamerican&”), and profound observations. Together, these brilliant pieces form an immersive and comprehensive narrative whole—a baby book, a resource, and an emotional balm—for our time.
How to Babysit a Grandma
by Lee Wildish Jean ReaganWhen you babysit a grandma, if you're lucky . . . it's a sleepover at her house! And with the useful tips found in this book, you're guaranteed to become an expert grandma-sitter in no time. (Be sure to check out the sections on: How to keep a grandma busy; Things to do at the park; Possible places to sleep, and what to do once you're both snugly tucked in for the night.)
How to Babysit a Grandma (How To Series)
by Jean ReaganCelebrate the special bond between grandmas and grandkids with this delightful New York Times bestseller that puts the kids in charge of babysitting...if just for one day. The perfect gift for Mother's Day, Grandparent's Day, and any day shared with Grandma!When you babysit a grandma, if you're lucky, you'll have a sleepover at her house! And with the useful tips found in this book, you're guaranteed to become an expert grandma-sitter in no time. (Be sure to check out the sections on: How to keep a grandma busy; Things to do at the park; Possible places to sleep, and what to do once you're both tucked in for the night.) From the author-illustrator team behind the New York Times bestselling HOW TO... books comes a funny and heartwarming celebration of grandmas and grandchildren.The fun doesn't stop! Check out more HOW TO... picture books:How to Babysit a GrandpaHow to Catch a SantaHow to Get Your Teacher ReadyHow to Raise a MomHow to Surprise a Dad
How to Babysit a Grandma: Read & Listen Edition (How To Series)
by Jean ReaganWhen you babysit a grandma, if you're lucky . . . it's a sleepover at her house! And with the useful tips found in this book, you're guaranteed to become an expert grandma-sitter in no time. (Be sure to check out the sections on: How to keep a grandma busy; Things to do at the park; Possible places to sleep, and what to do once you're both snugly tucked in for the night.) From the author-illustrator team behind the bestselling How to Babysit a Grandpa comes a funny and heartwarming celebration of grandmas and grandchildren.This Read & Listen edition contains audio narration.
How to Babysit a Grandpa (How To Series)
by Jean ReaganNEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • Celebrate the special bond between grandpas and grandchildren in this delightful New York Times bestseller that puts the kids in charge! The perfect gift for Father's Day, Grandparent's Day, and any day shared with Grandpa! Here's everything a kid needs to know to spend a fun-filled day with grandpa! Written in a how-to style, the narrator gives important tips for "babysitting" a grandpa, including what to eat for snack (anything dipped in ketchup, ice cream topped with cookies, cookies topped with ice cream) what to do on a walk (find lizards and dandelion puffs, be on the lookout for puddles and sprinklers), and how to play with a grandpa (build a pirate cave, put on a scary play). From the author-illustrator team behind the New York Times bestselling HOW TO... books comes a funny and heartwarming celebration of grandpas and all that they do! This is a great gift for or from a grandparent, and perfect for lap reading when Grandpa comes to visit! The fun doesn't stop! Check out more HOW TO... picture books: How to Babysit a Grandma How to Catch a Santa How to Get Your Teacher Ready How to Raise a Mom How to Surprise a Dad How to Read to a Grandma or Grandpa
How to Babysit a Grandpa: Read & Listen Edition (How To Series)
by Jean ReaganThis is a hilarious and accessible picture book about a child spending time with his grandpa—now paired with adorable narration in this Read & Listen edition. Written in a how-to style, the narrator gives important tips for "babysitting" a grandpa, including what to eat for snack (anything dipped in ketchup, ice cream topped with cookies, cookies topped with ice cream) what to do on a walk (find lizards and dandelion puffs, be on the lookout for puddles and sprinklers), and how to play with a grandpa (build a pirate cave, put on a scary play). Filled with humor, energy, and warmth, this is a great gift for or from a grandparent, and perfect for lap reading when Grandpa comes to visit!This ebook includes Read & Listen audio narration.
How to Bake an Apple Pie (Step into Reading)
by Jean ReaganThe perfect fall treat for Grandma is an apple pie! But can you and Grandpa pull off the surprise? From the New York Times bestselling creators of How to Babysit a Grandpa comes a seasonal Step 2 early reader full of apple pie fun!When the weather is cool and the apples are fresh, the best things to do is warm up by baking an apple pie! It's grandma's favorite! Join Grandpa to create a delicious surprise to warm Grandma's heart on a chilly autumn day. Plus, you can learn a few tips and tricks from the experts — kids! This Step Into Reading story features a fun Grandpa and grandchild relationship, and all the shared moments that come with baking from scratch together. Perfect for children who are ready to read on their own! Step 2 readers use basic vocabulary and short sentences to tell simple stories. They are perfect for children who recognize familiar words and can sound out new words with help.
How to Be Alone: If You Want To, and Even If You Don't
by Lane MooreThe former Sex & Relationships Editor for Cosmopolitan and host of the wildly popular comedy show Tinder Live with Lane Moore presents her poignant, funny, and deeply moving first book.Lane Moore is a rare performer who is as impressive onstage—whether hosting her iconic show Tinder Live or being the enigmatic front woman of It Was Romance—as she is on the page, as both a former writer for The Onion and an award-winning sex and relationships editor for Cosmopolitan. But her story has had its obstacles, including being her own parent, living in her car as a teenager, and moving to New York City to pursue her dreams. Through it all, she looked to movies, TV, and music as the family and support systems she never had. From spending the holidays alone to having better &“stranger luck&” than with those closest to her to feeling like the last hopeless romantic on earth, Lane reveals her powerful and entertaining journey in all its candor, anxiety, and ultimate acceptance—with humor always her bolstering force and greatest gift. How to Be Alone is a must-read for anyone whose childhood still feels unresolved, who spends more time pretending to have friends online than feeling close to anyone in real life, who tries to have genuine, deep conversations in a roomful of people who would rather you not. Above all, it&’s a book for anyone who desperately wants to feel less alone and a little more connected through reading her words.
How to Be Black
by Baratunde ThurstonThe comedian chronicles his coming of age while analyzing politics & culture in this New York Times–bestselling memoir and satirical guide.If You Don't Buy This Book, You&’re a Racist. Have you ever been called &“too black&” or &“not black enough?&” Have you ever befriended or worked with a black person? Have you ever heard of black people? If you answered yes to any of these questions, this book is for you. Raised by a pro-black, Pan-Afrikan single mother during the crack years of 1980s Washington, DC, and educated at Sidwell Friends School and Harvard University, Baratunde Thurston has over thirty years&’ experience being black. Now, through stories of his politically inspired Nigerian name, the heroics of his hippie mother, the murder of his drug-abusing father, and other revelatory black details, he shares with readers of all colors his wisdom and expertise in how to be black. Beyond memoir, this guidebook offers practical advice on everything from &“How to Be The Black Friend&” to &“How to Be The (Next) Black President&” to &“How to Celebrate Black History Month.&” To provide additional perspective, Baratunde assembled an award-winning Black Panel—three black women, three black men, and one white man (Christian Lander of Stuff White People Like)—and asked them such revealing questions as &“When Did You First Realize You Were Black?&” and &“How Black Are You?&” as well as &“Can You Swim?&” The result is a humorous, intelligent, and audacious guide that challenges and satirizes the so-called experts, purists, and racists who purport to speak for all black people. With honest storytelling and biting wit, Baratunde plots a path not just to blackness, but one open to anyone interested in simply &“how to be.&”Praise for How to Be Black&“Part autobiography, part stand-up routine, part contemporary political analysis, and astute all over. . . . Reading this book made me both laugh and weep with poignant recognition. . . . A hysterical, irreverent exploration of one of America&’s most painful and enduring issues.&” —Melissa Harris-Perry&“Struggling to figure out how to be black in the 21st century? Baratunde Thurston has the perfect guide for you.&” —The Root
How to Be Famous: A Novel
by Caitlin MoranA hilarious, heartfelt sequel to How to Build a Girl, the breakout novel from feminist sensation Caitlin Moran who the New York Times called, "rowdy and fearless . . . sloppy, big-hearted and alive in all the right ways."You can’t have your best friend be famous if you’re not famous. It doesn’t work. You’re emotional pen-friends. You can send each other letters—but you’re not doing anything together. You live in different countries.Johanna Morrigan (AKA Dolly Wilde) has it all: at eighteen, she lives in her own flat in London and writes for the coolest music magazine in Britain. But Johanna is miserable. Her best friend and man of her dreams John Kite has just made it big in 1994’s hot new BritPop scene. Suddenly John exists on another plane of reality: that of the Famouses.Never one to sit on the sidelines, Johanna hatches a plan: she will Saint Paul his Corinthians, she will Jimmy his Pinocchio—she will write a monthly column, by way of a manual to the famous, analyzing fame, its power, its dangers, and its amusing aspects. In stories, girls never win the girl—they are won. Well, Johanna will re-write the stories, and win John, through her writing.But as Johanna’s own star rises, an unpleasant one-night stand she had with a stand-up comedian, Jerry Sharp, comes back to haunt in her in a series of unfortunate consequences. How can a girl deal with public sexual shaming? Especially when her new friend, the up-and-coming feminist rock icon Suzanne Banks, is Jimmy Cricketing her?For anyone who has been a girl or known one, who has admired fame or judged it, and above all anyone who loves to laugh till their sides ache, How to Be Famous is a big-hearted, hilarious tale of fame and fortune-and all they entail.
How to Be Fine: What We Learned from Living by the Rules of 50 Self-Help Books
by Kristen Meinzer Jolenta Greenberg“A hilarious, charming, and totally unique take” on what self-help advice works—and what doesn’t—by the cohosts of the By the Book podcast (Kristen Johnston, Emmy-winning actress and New York Times–bestselling author of Guts).In each episode of their podcast By the Book, Jolenta Greenberg and Kristen Meinzer take a deep dive into a different self-help book, following its specific instructions, rules, and advice to the letter. From diet and productivity to decorating to social interactions, they try it all, record themselves along the way, then share what they’ve learned with their devoted audience.In this funny, revealing book, Jolenta and Kristen synthesize the lessons and insights they’ve learned and tell their stories. How to Be Fine is a thoughtful look at the books and practices that have worked, real talk on those that didn’t, and a list of philosophies they want to see explored in-depth. The topics they cover include:*Getting off your device*Engaging in positive self-talk*Downsizing*Admitting you’re a liar*Meditation*Going outside*Getting in touch with your emotions*Seeing a therapist“[A] grounded, large-hearted work . . . [The authors] strike a perfect balance between sharing their traumas and folding in amusing anecdotes. This will delight fans of self-help books and encourage even the hardest cynics to reconsider the genre.” —Publishers Weekly“Funny and wise.” —Library Journal
How to Be Funny
by Jon MacksAn invaluable guide on how to "lighten up" from a distinguished pro who has provided laughs for JAY LENO, BILLY CRYSTAL, STEVE MARTIN, ROBIN WILLIAMS, BRAD GARRETT, WHOOPI GOLDBERG, AND MANY MORE. Who hasn't wished for the perfect withering comeback line, a clever tension-breaking quip, or a winning flirtatious remark? Being funny is hard work and not everyone is a natural. How to Be Funny is a witty guide that teaches readers precisely how to be funnier in everyday life. It's a must-read for anyone who has to speak in public, be engaging and funny at work or at play, or who hopes to one day go out on a date. Jon Macks, a comedy writer for The Tonight Show with Jay Leno, the Academy Awards, the Emmy Awards, Hollywood Squares, and the nation's top comedians, politicians, and corporate leaders, knows his funny business. Here he demystifies the process of making people laugh, breaks down the basic building blocks and types of humor -- which include self-deprecation, misdirection, deadpan delivery, sarcasm, and "the reverse" -- and reveals the best approaches to use in common situations. How to Be Funny features helpful (and hilarious) tips and anecdotes from the comic legends Mack's worked with -- including Jay Leno, Arsenio Hall, Gilbert Gottfried, Billy Crystal, Rita Rudner, Dave Barry, and Carrie Fisher -- in his eleven years as one of the nation's top television writers. Whether the goal is to give a memorable public address or deliver a killer line with friends, How to Be Funny is a charming, instructive, and practical read.
How to Be Golden: Lessons We Can Learn from Betty White
by Paula BernsteinIf there's one thing the nation can agree on--we all love Betty White! This spirited homage to Betty captures her unique humor, timeless wisdom, and impish irreverence that's made her one of America's longest lasting and most beloved stars. An unparalleled American icon, Betty White started show business in 1939 in radio and was a pioneer in the early days of TV. Over eight decades, she's appeared on countless sitcoms, game shows, and talk shows, including the iconic comedy hits The Mary Tyler Moore Show and The Golden Girls. Her accolades over the years include two Emmy nominations, a Grammy, and induction into the Television Academy Hall of Fame, while she had her best decade yet as a nonagenarian: becoming the oldest person to host SNL, starring in a Super Bowl ad, and winning praise with her popular supporting role in Hot in Cleveland. Through it all, her "don't take yourself too seriously" attitude appeals to legions of fans, spanning all generations.How to Be Golden recounts her engaging life story while weaving in her words of wisdom and insight about love, friendship, work, family, sex, acting, aging, beauty, and more.
How to Be Inappropriate
by Daniel NesterDry, offbeat, and mostly profane, this debut collection of humorous nonfiction glorifies all things inappropriate and TMI. A compendia of probing essays, lists, profiles, barstool rants, queries, pedantic footnotes, play scripts, commonplace miscellany, and overly revealing memoir, How to Be Inappropriate adds up to the portrait of an artist who bumbles through life obsessed with one thing: extreme impropriety.In How to Be Inappropriate, Daniel Nester determines the boundary of acceptable behavior by completely disregarding it. As a twenty-something hipster, he looks for love with a Williamsburg abstract painter who has had her feet licked for money. As a teacher, he tries out curse words with Chinese students in ESL classes. Along the way, Nester provides a short cultural history on mooning and attempts to cast a spell on a neighbor who fails to curb his dog. He befriends exiled video game king Todd Rogers, re-imagines a conversation with NPR's Terry Gross, and invents a robot version of Kiss bassist Gene Simmons.No matter which misadventure catches their eye in this eclectic series of essays, How to Be Inappropriate makes readers appreciate that someone else has experienced these embarrassing sides of life, so that they won't have to.
How to Be Married (to Melissa): A Hilarious Guide to a Happier, One-of-a-Kind Marriage
by Dustin NickersonYour therapist told you that marriage was no laughing matter, but Dustin Nickerson begs to differ.Go beyond the formulas and charts as you dig deep into your one-of-a-kind relationship. In this book written for actual married humans by an actual married human, Dustin explains why laughing in your marriage is essential—even in the hard times;why in a marriage, unlike on Southwest, your baggage does not fly free;what sex has to do with Legoland;an approach to problem-solving (we&’re talking money, kids, in-laws) that brings you closer; andwhy you should never put Scattergories on your wedding registry. Popular standup comedian and podcaster Dustin Nickerson draws on experiences from his incredibly average life to share tips for appreciating the uniqueness of every marriage, especially his own. Through storytelling and brutally honest disclosures, Dustin brings his highly relatable brand of humor to the challenges couples may face, including eating healthy (versus being happy), parenting (building crucial survival skills), finances (bill collectors, anyone?), and church attendance (Melissa&’s purse holds enough mints and fidget toys to entertain the kids and Dustin). This book will help your marriage if by no other means than looking at Dustin&’s dysfunctional marriage and feeling better about your own. You&’ll be working on your marriage without even realizing it.
How to Be More Shrek: An Ogre's Guide to Life
by NBC UniversalAn illustrated guide to embracing your inner ogre and living your truth, mud, farts, and all.&“There&’s a lot more to ogres than people think. Ogres are like onions. Onions have layers. Ogres have layers.&” —Shrek With bite-sized advice that feels attainable rather than exhausting, How to Be More Shrek will teach you how to set boundaries, peel back your layers, learn to love your inner (and outer) ogre, fill your swamp with all the right fairytale creatures, and make your own happily ever after. This hilarious book will empower you to have your eyeball jelly on toast and eat it too.
How to Be Narstie
by Big NarstieMans here to help you help yourself.Real talk. One thing you've got to know about advice: there are two types. Sometimes the people who give the most advice to others are the last people you should be listening to. They just love the sound of their own voice. No matter what the problem is, they'll just say: 'Believe in yourself, you can do anything.' And then ... well, then there's the kind of advice that's just the truth. That's the sort of advice you might get from this book, and I'll warn you sometimes the truth ain't pretty. In these pages I'm gonna tell you some of my story and show you how you can change yours: how to survive school, how to get a job, how to deal with family, friends, love and PAIN. How to live your own life, not someone else's.
How to Be Normal: A Guide for the Perplexed
by Guy BrowningFrom the author of Never Hit a Jellyfish With a Spade comes a new volume of answers to life's most troublesome questionsNormal people are extremely unusual. Think of all the people you know and ask yourself how many are normal. None of them! In fact you're probably the most normal of the lot and, let's face it, even you're not that normal. All normal people believe they are a little bit different, a little bit unique, and a little bit special. On the other hand no one wants to be abnormal, so it's a fine line to tread. Happily, this amazingly funny book shows everyone exactly how to be uniquely normally normal. Is it normal to hold the banister with both hands? To find the green man at crossings mildly attractive? To be afraid of aggressive hand dryers? To wonder what coconut milk is actually for? Find out the answers to these and a million other perfectly normal questions in another beautifully funny, surprisingly wise, and consistently heart-warming book .
How to Be Not Too Bad: A Canadian Guide to Superior Behaviour
by Charles GordonMove over, Miss Manners. Step aside, Emily Post. It’s time for a truly modern book (“How To Make Love to a Laptopper”) on proper behaviour at work (“Walk fast and carry a piece of paper”) and at play (“Riding a Bicicyle Without Being a Geek”). Forget excellence. This book will help you rise above it all and become, well, not too bad. From the Hardcover edition.
How to Be Perfectly Unhappy (The\oatmeal Ser.)
by Matthew InmanIn How To Be Perfectly Unhappy, Inman explores the surprising benefits of forgetting about &“happiness,&” and embracing instead the meaningful activities that keep us busy and interested and fascinated.
How to Be Single: A Novel
by Liz TuccilloIt's the most annoying question and they just can't help asking you. You'll be asked it at family gatherings, weddings, and on first dates. And you'll ask yourself far too often. It's the question that has no good answer. It's the question that when people stop asking it, makes you feel even worse: Why are you single?On a brisk October morning in New York, Julie Jenson, a single thirty-eight-yearold book publicist, is on her way to work when she gets a hysterical phone call from her friend Georgia. Reeling from her husband's announcement that he is leaving her for a samba teacher, Georgia convinces a reluctant Julie to organize a fun girls' night out with all their single friends to remind her why it is so much fun not to be tied down. But the night, which starts with steaks and martinis and ends with a trip to the hospital, becomes a wake-up call for Julie. Because none of her friends seems to be having much fun right now: Alice, a former legal aid attorney, has recently quit her job to start dating for a living; Serena is so busy becoming a fully realized person that she can't find time to look for a mate; and Ruby, a curvy and compassionate woman, has been mourning the death of her cat for months. So, fed up with the dysfunction and disappointments of being single in Manhattan, Julie quits her job and sets off to find out how women around the world are dealing with this dreaded phenomenon. From Paris to Rio to Sydney, Bali, Beijing, Mumbai, and Reykjavik, Julie falls in love, gets her heart broken, sees the world, and learns more than she ever dreamed possible. Back in New York, her friends are grappling with their own issues—bad blind dates, loveless engagements, custody battles, and single motherhood. Through their journeys, all these women fight to redefine their vision of love, happiness, and a fulfilled life. Written in Liz Tuccillo's pitch-perfect, hilarious, and relatable voice, How to Be Single is the ultimate novel for the adventurer in us all.
How to Be a Baby . . . by Me, the Big Sister
by Sally Lloyd-Jones Sue HeapThe New York Times praised this best-selling picture book as "adorable, original, well-illustrated and fabulous." In this first book in the How-To Series (which includes How To Get Married and How to Get a Job), the know-it-all big sister narrator tells it like it is: When you're a baby you don't read books. You eat them. You don't know how old you are, or even if you're a boy or a girl. And you have to keep a special plug in your mouth to stop your scream from coming out. But one day, you won't be little anymore, and then you'll be taller and smarter, and actually quite clever. Like the narrator. And you'll be able to share memories of what it was like when you were little with your incredible Big Sister.