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How to Cuss in Western: And Other Missives from the High Desert
by Michael P. BranchWhere nature writing meets humor--a racuous and hilarious look at life in the high desert of Nevada, from the author of Raising Wild and Rants from the Hill.Edward Abbey encouraged his readers to “be loyal to what you love, be true to the Earth, and fight your enemies with passion and laughter.” Here is Michael Branch’s response. Full of clear-eyed explorations of the natural world, witty cultural observations, and heart-warming family connections, How to Cuss in Western is a cranky and hilarious love letter of sorts to the western Great Basin Desert of Nevada.
How to Dance: A Novel
by Jason B. DuttonOpposites attract and sparks fly as a passionate dancer and a ladies&’ man who's given up on love fall for each other—one tango at a time—in this charming debut romance perfect for fans of Talia Hibbert and Blair Fell.Nick Freeman works hard as the star of the weekly karaoke night at his bar, hoping his singing talent, quick wit, and winning smile will distract from his cerebral palsy. But one night at the bar, watching a professional dancer light up the dance floor with her boyfriend, he realizes that entertaining strangers will never give him a fraction of the joy he sees in this woman&’s eyes.When Hayley Burke notices Nick&’s reaction to her dancing, she urges him to acknowledge his passion and try a few moves himself—only to be mortified when she realizes Nick can only walk with the aid of a metal walker.As Nick and Hayley fumble through misunderstanding into friendship, Hayley begins to enjoy Nick&’s company more than that of her self-centered boyfriend. Nick tries to fight his attraction to Hayley, believing she deserves a dance partner who can move like her boyfriend does—but as Hayley and Nick continue to find their rhythm together, she shows him that &“dancing&” is about so much more than moving your feet. In this fresh-voiced and utterly charming debut novel, Jason B. Dutton takes readers on a swoon-filled journey as two lost souls learn that neither physical disability nor emotional scars disqualify us from finding beauty, validation, and love amidst the chaos of being human.
How to Date Men When You Hate Men
by Blythe RobersonFrom New Yorker and Onion writer and comedian Blythe Roberson, How to Date Men When You Hate Men is a comedy philosophy book aimed at interrogating what it means to date men within the trappings of modern society. Blythe Roberson’s sharp observational humor is met by her open-hearted willingness to revel in the ugliest warts and shimmering highs of choosing to live our lives amongst other humans. She collects her crushes like ill cared-for pets, skewers her own suspect decisions, and assures readers that any date you can mess up, she can top tenfold. And really, was that date even a date in the first place?With sections like Real Interviews With Men About Whether Or Not It Was A Date; Good Flirts That Work; Bad Flirts That Do Not Work; and Definitive Proof That Tom Hanks Is The Villain Of You’ve Got Mail, How to Date Men When You Hate Men is a one stop shop for dating advice when you love men but don't like them."With biting wit, Roberson explores the dynamics of heterosexual dating in the age of #MeToo"— The New York Times
How to Date Your Dragon (Mystic Bayou #1)
by Molly HarperThe first book in Molly Harper's uproariously funny, sinfully sexy new Mystic Bayou series!Anthropologist Jillian Ramsay's career has taken a turn south.Concerned that technology is about to chase mythological creatures out into the open (how long can Sasquatch stay hidden from Google maps?), the League for Interspecies Cooperation is sending Jillian to Louisiana on a fact-finding mission. While the League hopes to hold on to secrecy for a little bit longer, they're preparing for the worst in terms of human reactions. They need a plan, so they look to Mystic Bayou, a tiny town hidden in the swamp where humans and supernatural residents have been living in harmony for generations. Mermaids and gator shifters swim in the bayou. Spirit bottles light the front porches after twilight. Dragons light the fires under crayfish pots.Jillian's first assignment for the League could be her last. Mystic Bayou is wary of outsiders, and she has difficulty getting locals to talk to her. And she can't get the gruff town sheriff, Bael Boone, off of her back or out of her mind. Bael is the finest male specimen she's seen in a long time, even though he might not be human. Soon their flirtation is hotter than a dragon's breath, which Bael just might turn out to be...This book is based on the Audible Original audiobook.
How to Defeat Your Own Clone: And Other Tips for Surviving the Biotech Revolution
by Kyle Kurpinski Terry D. JohnsonSend in the clones! On second thought, maybe not. CAN IT READ MY MIND? WILL IT BE EVIL? HOW DO I STOP IT? Find out the answers to these and other burning questions in this funny, informative, and ingenious book from two bioengineering experts who show you how to survive—and thrive—in a new age of truly weird science. For decades, science fiction has been alerting us to the wonders and perils of our biotech future—from the prospects of gene therapy to the pitfalls of biological warfare. Now that future looms before us. Don’t panic! This book is all you need to prepare for the new world that awaits us, providing indispensable cautionary advice on topics such as • bioenhancements: They’re not just for cyborgs anymore. • DNA sequencing and fingerprinting: What’s scarier than the government having your DNA on file? Try having it posted on the Internet. • human cloning: Just like you, only stronger, smarter, and more attractive. In other words: more dangerous. Our future may be populated by designer babies, genetically enhanced supersoldiers, and one (or more!) of your genetic duplicates, but all is not lost. How to Defeat Your Own Clone is the ultimate survival guide to what lies ahead. Just remember the first rule of engagement: Don’t ever let your clone read this book!
How to Defeat a Demon King in Ten Easy Steps
by Andrew RoweThe LitRPG bestseller releasing in a stunning new deluxe hardcover edition, now with a new Afterword. &“How to Defeat a Demon King in Ten Easy Steps is an endlessly inventive and entertaining love letter to all of us underdogs who spent countless hours with a game controller in hand, daydreaming about how we would save the realm.&” —Matt Dinniman, New York Times bestselling author of the Dungeon Crawler Carl seriesFor thousands of years, there has been a cycle: a Demon King rises and conquers, and a Hero is reborn a hundred years later to defeat him. Each time, civilizations are ground to dust beneath the Demon King&’s hordes, but humanity has remained secure in the belief that a Hero of legend will always save them. There&’s just one slight problem. It&’s only been twenty-three years since the Demon King&’s latest rise, and this time, he&’s already conquered more than half the world. If humanity simply waits for the Hero&’s return, there may be no world left for him to save. And so, Yui Shaw sets out with an ambitious plan. A ten-step plan. She&’ll find a way to obtain the Hero&’s legendary sword. She&’ll earn obscure classes, gain levels, and increase her skills. She&’ll travel to the meticulously-crafted dungeons that seem designed for one specific Hero to complete. And, if she&’s truly (un)fortunate, she might even find a fairy.
How to Die of Embarrassment Every Day: A True Story
by Ann HodgmanHumorous and humiliating memories of an awkward childhood, sprinkled with hilarious family photographs and other memorabilia, from the author of The House of a Million Pets. Ann Hodgman is a funny lady. In How to Die of Embarrassment Every Day, she explains how she got that way. But the book only goes up through sixth grade. After that, her life became so embarrassing that writing it down would have caused the pages to burst into flames.
How to Do a Science Experiment (Step into Reading)
by Jean ReaganScience is a blast, when you work together with Grandma! Follow the volcano fun in this silly Step 2 early reader story from the New York Times bestselling creators of How to Babysit a Grandpa.Once you've learned how to make a volacano at home, it's time to teach Grandma what to do! But what happens when you don't remember the right ingredients? Work together with Grandma to create the best at-home volacno ever, with a few tips and tricks from the experts -- kids! This Step into Reading story features a sweet Grandma and grandchild relationship and all the silly, sticky moments that come with creating an at-home experiment. Perfect for children who are ready to read on their own! Step 2 readers use basic vocabulary and short sentences to tell simple stories. They are perfect for children who recognize familiar words and can sound out new words with help.
How to Dodge a Cannonball: A Novel
by Dennard DayleHow to Dodge a Cannonball is a razor-sharp satire that dives into the heart of the Civil War, hilariously questioning the essence of the fight, not just for territory, but for the soul of America.How to Dodge a Cannonball is funnier than the Civil War should ever be. It follows Anders, a teenage idealist who enlists and reenlists to shape the American Future—as soon as he figures out what that is, who it includes, and why everyone wants him to die for it. Escaping his violently insane mother is a bonus.Anders finds honor as a proud Union flag twirler—until he’s captured. Then he tries life as a diehard Confederate—until fate asks him to die hard for the Confederacy at Gettysburg. Barely alive, Anders limps into a Black Union regiment in a stolen uniform. While visibly white, he claims to be an octoroon, and they claim to believe him. Only then does his life get truly strange.His new brothers are even stranger, including a science-fiction playwright, a Haitian double agent, and a former slave feuding with God. Despite his best efforts, Anders starts seeing the war through their eyes, sparking ill-timed questions about who gets to be American or exploit the theater of war. Dennard Dayle’s satire spares no one as doomed charges, draft riots, gleeful arms dealers, and native suppression campaigns test everyone’s definition of loyalty.Uproariously funny and revelatory, How to Dodge a Cannonball asks if America is worth fighting for. And then answers loudly. Read it while it’s still legal.
How to Dork Your Diary (Dork Diaries #3.5)
by Rachel Russell<P>Create your own Dork Diary! A special, interactive addition to the New York Times bestselling series. <P>Nikki Maxwell is living her worst nightmare--her diary is missing! As she retraces her steps to find the lost book, Nikki offers a list of important tips and advice on how to keep a diary. Follow Nikki's efforts to recover the missing diary--and deal with the usual funny, wacky antics of her best friends Chloe and Zoey, crush Brandon, and mean girl Mackenzie. It's crisis management...Dork Diaries style.
How to Draw a Brave Chicken
by Ethan T. BerlinAnother "How to Draw" lesson spins hilariously out of control in this sequel to How to Draw a Happy Cat, perfect for fans of We Don't Eat Our Classmates and Dragons Love Tacos.Follow these simple instructions for drawing a brave chicken: Draw an oval, two dots for eyes, triangles for the beak, lines for legs, and some wings. Easy enough. But wait . . . where is the chicken? Oh, she&’s hiding! Maybe she needs armor to feel brave . . . so let&’s draw her some shiny armor. Now she&’s feeling brave—and she wants to chase a dragon! Oh no, Chicken! Are you sure you want to do that?Kids and adults will have a ball watching the gang from How to Draw a Happy Cat go off the rails again! Comedian and author, Ethan T. Berlin and wicked-funny illustrator Jimbo Matison team up once again in the perfect follow up to continue the fun.
How to Draw a Happy Cat
by Ethan T. BerlinA "How to Draw" lesson spins hilariously out of control when Cat just won't stay happy! This relatable madcap read-aloud is immense fun, and perfect for fans of Dragons Love Tacos.Drawing a happy cat seems like such an easy thing to do. Just follow the instructions in this book! Wait a minute . . . why doesn't Cat look happy? We gave her a stuffy and a cool t-shirt! Uh-oh! Turns out drawing a happy cat is harder than it looks. Now it's the reader's job to find out why Cat isn't staying happy AND draw everything she wants! (That might include skateboards, friends, and yes--even a pizza-flinging catapult.) This clever, often tender, laugh-out-loud picture book breaks the fourth wall in charming ways; will have kids asking for repeat reads; and will defintely have parents nodding knowingly at the escalating cycle of demands. Can you draw a happy cat?
How to Drink Like a Mad Man
by Ralph MaloneyBetween the three-martini lunches and Scotch around the clock, it's hard to believe that advertising executives in the Sixties could remain conscious, let alone conduct business. How did they do it? The answer lies in this authentic document from Madison Avenue, circa 1962. Learn the secrets behind calling in sick, avoiding phone calls, and other boardroom shenanigans. "So side-splittingly funny, yet so dark with doom." -- Boston Herald.
How to Drink Snake Blood in Vietnam: And 101 Other Things Every Interesting Man Should Know
by Gareth MayBe that guy who amazes everyone with his knowledge of strange and fascinating facts from around the world . . .Chock-full of mind-blowing trivia from all over the globe, this book will make you the most interesting guy at any gathering. Captivate the crowd with fascinating facts, exciting adventures, and intriguing anecdotes, such as:• How to survive a shark attack• Best places to eat monkey brains• Drinking vodka like a Russian• How to say “cheers” in any language• Recognizing venomous snakes• Etiquette for nude beaches, and much moreFrom essential tips and tricks to entertaining stories, this is the ultimate collection of badass wisdom no man should leave home without.
How to Drive a Dragon Crazy: The Dragon Who Loved Me; What A Dragon Should Know; Last Dragon Standing; How To Drive A Dragon Crazy (Dragon Kin #6)
by G.A. AikenSanity is overrated in this &“captivating, funny, exciting&” fantasy adventure from the New York Times bestselling author of the Scarred Earth Saga (Smexy Books). Some things never go away, like vile enemies, bad ale, and annoying kin. But I thought I was finished with the one dragon I&’d have done anything for: Éibhear the Blue, a big, gorgeous, blue-haired beast who thinks the world belongs to him. The world and, apparently, me. So if Éibhear wants to play the caring hero and travel into the most forsaken of Gods forsaken lands to protect the one woman who doesn&’t need it—namely me—I&’ll let him. Because while I&’m trying to fulfill a ridiculous quest for a pushy god, I&’m going to draw this overconfident warlord much too close, rekindle his fires, and enjoy every minute of his delicious defeat . . . Praise for the Dragon Kin Series &“Aiken&’s patented mix of bloodthirsty action, crazy scenarios and hilarious dialogue have made this series a truly unique pleasure.&”—RT Book Reviews (4½ Stars) &“A chest thumping, mead-hall rocking, enemy slaying brawl of a good book.&”—All Things Urban Fantasy &“Laugh-out-loud funny—I loved it!&”—Thea Harrison, New York Times bestselling author "A hot, hot series." --Library Journal
How to Eat Cock
by Cosima HusseyThe perfect book and gift to get the most out of your cock.Brilliant protein-packed meals that don't hold back on the spice.' Joe Dicks, bestselling author of High Impact Intercourse Training'This delightfully raunchily-titled read is, of course, a recipe book full of tongue-in-cheek ways to cook chicken ... everything from Cockporn Poppers to Cossie's Cockatore to Cock Pot Pie.' METRO'What a title!' Gok WanBy her own admission, Cossie Hussey loves cock. With How to Eat Cock, join her on a culinary exploration and learn to know your way around cock just as well as she does.With recipes honed by a childhood spent on her family farm - from sticky southern fried cock to gobble up with your hands, served with a creamy slaw to the ultimate cock monsieur, a steamy and indulgent feast to share with your friends- let Hussey show you how to get the very best out of your cock.
How to Eat Like a Child: And Other Lessons in Not Being a Grown-up
by Delia EphronA collection of humorous essays on “the art of being infuriating and other childhood fun” (The New York Times).Universal and timeless, Delia Ephron’s How to Eat Like a Child is a delightful revisiting of the joys — and tricky ploys — of childhood. Made into a children’s television special and a musical theater revue performed across the country each year, How to Eat Like a Child offers advice beyond the artful etiquette of food consumption. Ephron also teaches us “How to Laugh Hysterically,” “How to Have a Birthday Party,” “How to Torture Your Sister,” and much, much more. As the Washington Post Book World noted, “After the giggles of recognition have subsided, one thing will be very clear: all adults are kids in grown-ups’ clothing.”“Vivid enough to return you, momentarily, to those thrilling days of yesteryear.” —Kirkus Reviews
How to Eat Like a Republican: Or, Hold the Mayo, Muffy--I'm Feeling Miracle Whipped Tonight
by Susanne Grayson TownsendThis capriciously-organized collection of the kinds of homey recipes Republicans grow up on pays little regard to attribution, since, in the words of the author, "Nobody ever remembers where the recipe originally came from anyway."
How to Eat Out
by Giles CorenIt has taken Giles Coren a lifetime to master the art of eating out.From a lonely childhood spent in restaurant car parks, peering in at a magical world of chickens in baskets and butter in little foil squares, to belching his way through fifty pointless manifestations of nitrogen-chilled excreta at 'the best restaurant in the world', to the sticky corner of Bangkok's Chinatown where he sat his own baby daughter down in front of her first jellied iguana foot and was genuinely surprised when she didn't like it, Coren has experienced pretty much everything a restaurant can throw at you, and thrown it right back. Or at least caught it, sniffed it, and bagged it up for later.Bad waiters, bum tables, little rip-offs, big cons, old fish, cheap meat, yesterday's soup and tomorrow's gastroenteritis... Coren tells you how to avoid the lot, and even come out of it with free champagne and a dish named after you by way of apology.It doesn't matter if it's fish and chips, takeaway pizza, a medieval banquet with Sue Perkins or a slap-up nosh at the Hotel de Posh, there is always a right way and wrong way to do it. How to Eat Out is a bit of both.
How to Eat Out
by Giles CorenIt has taken Giles Coren a lifetime to master the art of eating out.From a lonely childhood spent in restaurant car parks, peering in at a magical world of chickens in baskets and butter in little foil squares, to belching his way through fifty pointless manifestations of nitrogen-chilled excreta at 'the best restaurant in the world', to the sticky corner of Bangkok's Chinatown where he sat his own baby daughter down in front of her first jellied iguana foot and was genuinely surprised when she didn't like it, Coren has experienced pretty much everything a restaurant can throw at you, and thrown it right back. Or at least caught it, sniffed it, and bagged it up for later.Bad waiters, bum tables, little rip-offs, big cons, old fish, cheap meat, yesterday's soup and tomorrow's gastroenteritis... Coren tells you how to avoid the lot, and even come out of it with free champagne and a dish named after you by way of apology.It doesn't matter if it's fish and chips, takeaway pizza, a medieval banquet with Sue Perkins or a slap-up nosh at the Hotel de Posh, there is always a right way and wrong way to do it. How to Eat Out is a bit of both.
How to Eat Pizza
by Jon BurgermanEveryone's favorite meal talks back in this deliciously irreverent new picture book from the creator of Splat! and Rhyme Crime How do you eat pizza? Do you pick the biggest slice? Add hot pepper flakes? Use your hands? Do you know how your pizza slice feels about that? He thinks it's disgusting. There are so many other things you could eat -- that aren't him. Listen up. He's got ideas.Bright, bold artwork and real-kid humor create a recipe for laugh-out-loud, finger-licking fun."A slice-of-life tale that delivers. Kids will eat it up." --Kirkus"A tangy, chucklesome mix." --Publishers Weekly
How to End a Love Story: A Reese's Book Club Pick
by Yulin KuangA REESE'S BOOK CLUB PICK!“Emotional, relatable and binge-worthy." –Tessa Bailey“I’ll read anything she writes. An absolute star." –Emily Henry “I was hooked on the very first page. Don't miss this one!" — Carley FortuneTwo writers with a complicated history end up working on the same TV show... Can they write themselves a new ending? A sexy and emotional enemies-to-lovers romance guaranteed to pull on your heartstrings and give you a book hangover from brilliant new voice Yulin KuangNamed a Most Anticipated Book of 2024 by Entertainment Weekly · Today.com · Paste · Daily Waffle ·The Nerd Daily and more!Helen Zhang hasn’t seen Grant Shepard once in the thirteen years since the tragic accident that bound their lives together forever.Now a bestselling author, Helen pours everything into her career. She’s even scored a coveted spot in the writers’ room of the TV adaptation of her popular young adult novels, and if she can hide her imposter syndrome and overcome her writer’s block, surely the rest of her life will fall into place too. LA is the fresh start she needs. After all, no one knows her there. Except…Grant has done everything in his power to move on from the past, including building a life across the country. And while the panic attacks have never quite gone away, he’s well liked around town as a screenwriter. He knows he shouldn’t have taken the job on Helen’s show, but it will open doors to developing his own projects that he just can’t pass up.Grant’s exactly as Helen remembers him—charming, funny, popular, and lovable in ways that she’s never been. And Helen’s exactly as Grant remembers too—brilliant, beautiful, closed off. But working together is messy, and electrifying, and Helen’s parents, who have never forgiven Grant, have no idea he’s in the picture at all.When secrets come to light, they must reckon with the fact that theirs was never meant to be any kind of love story. And yet… the key to making peace with their past—and themselves—might just lie in holding on to each other in the present.
How to End a Love Story: Goodreads Readers' Favourite Debut Novel: a sexy, smart, hilarious and heartbreaking romcom
by Yulin Kuang⭐ GOODREADS READERS' FAVOURITE DEBUT NOVEL 2024 ⭐ ⭐A 2024 REESE WITHERSPOON BOOK CLUB PICK! ⭐ 'One of the sexiest, smartest, funniest, and most effective novels I've read in a long time . . . I'll read anything she writes' EMILY HENRY'Utterly compelling . . . emotional, relatable and binge-worth' TESSA BAILEY'Absurdly delicious . . . the chemistry between Helen and Grant is pure magic, as is Yulin's gorgeous writing' CARLEY FORTUNE 'Without doubt one of my favourite romance novels of the year . . . smart, rich and emotional' BETH O'LEARY Helen Zhang is the bestselling author who can't write her own happy-ever-after. Grant Shepard is the screenwriter with the movie-star looks who can't afford his therapist. When the two of them are put together to adapt Helen's books for television, it should be a dream come true. Helen can start a new life in Hollywood. Grant can pay his mortgage. Only, Grant Shepard is the last person that Helen wanted to see again. She's never forgiven him for what happened thirteen years ago. So no one is more surprised than her when sparks begin to fly between them in the writers' room. Their history is messy. Their attraction is inescapable. And soon, they're both in too deep . . . This wasn't meant to be a love story. But aren't the best endings the ones you never saw coming? Readers LOVE How to End a Love Story! 'THIS IS MY FAVORITE ROMANCE BOOK EVER. E V E R' ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ 'This book is incredible. This was such a gorgeous story of love and grief and all the myriad, messy ways that we express them. I laughed, I cried, I pined, I cried again, I was so so satisfied' ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ 'Yulin Kuang is a GENIUS! Easily my new favourite romance'⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ 'I started it on a Saturday at home and when I got into it, I couldn't stop. I immediately texted friends to make sure they have this on their radar' ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
How to End a Love Story: The brilliant new romantic comedy from the acclaimed screenwriter and director
by Yulin Kuang"How to End a Love Story is one of the sexiest, smartest, funniest, and most effective novels I've read in a long time. Yulin Kuang's voice is strong, sure, and singular-I'll read anything she writes. An absolute star." Emily Henry"This is without doubt one of my favourite romance novels of the year. It's so smart, rich and emotional, so beautifully written - I can't rave about it enough. I truly adored it." Beth O'LearyHelen Zhang is the bestselling author who can't write her own happy-ever-after. Grant Shepard is the screenwriter with the movie-star looks who can't afford his therapist. When the two of them are put together to adapt Helen's books for television, it should be a dream come true. Helen can start a new life in Hollywood. Grant can pay his mortgage. Only, Grant Shepard is the last person that Helen wanted to see again. She's never forgiven him for what happened thirteen years ago. So no one is more surprised than her when sparks begin to fly between them in the writers' room. Their history is messy. Their attraction is inescapable. And soon, they're both in too deep . . . This wasn't meant to be a love story. But aren't the best endings the ones you never saw coming?Readers LOVE How to End a Love Story !THIS IS MY FAVORITE ROMANCE BOOK EVER. E V E R. ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐This book is incredible. This was such a gorgeous story of love and grief and all the myriad, messy ways that we express them. I laughed, I cried, I pined, I cried again, I was so so satisfied. ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐Yulin Kuang is a GENIUS! Easily my new favourite romance. ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐I started it on a Saturday at home and when I got into it, I couldn't stop. I immediately texted friends to make sure they have this on their radar. ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
How to Excavate a Heart
by Jake Maia ArlowStonewall Honor author Jake Maia Arlow delivers a sapphic Jewish twist on the classic Christmas rom-com in a read perfect for fans of Kelly Quindlen and Casey McQuiston.It all starts when Shani runs into May. Like, literally. With her mom’s Subaru.Attempted vehicular manslaughter was not part of Shani’s plan. She was supposed to be focusing on her monthlong paleoichthyology internship. She was going to spend all her time thinking about dead fish and not at all about how she was unceremoniously dumped days before winter break.It could be going better.But when a dog-walking gig puts her back in May’s path, the fossils she’s meant to be diligently studying are pushed to the side—along with the breakup.Then they’re snowed in together on Christmas Eve. As things start to feel more serious, though, Shani’s hurt over her ex-girlfriend’s rejection comes rushing back. Is she ready to try a committed relationship again, or is she okay with this just being a passing winter fling?