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How to Heal the Hurt by Hating
by Anita Liberty"I wish we were back together for just one night . . .so I could push you out of my loftbed while you were sleeping."Satirical and sharp, downtown New York City performance artist Anita Liberty reinvents self-help as she skewers her ex-boyfriend in this hilarious, hip, and audaciously candid collection of advice, poems, and diary entries. "I thought you were a gifted and tortured artist. I was wrong.About the gifted part.Oh.And the artist part."From romantic bliss to brutal breakup, from heartache to healing, this fierce, funny, and ultimately liberating homage to being "dumped" rips off the stiff upper lip in favor of a red-hot therapy of wit, wisdom, rage, and redemption. And now, a few words from Anita Liberty . . ."COMPROMISE--Lowering my standards.So you can meet them.""You're a bad habit.I want to kick you.Hard."Inclues free postcards to send to that special someone!From the Trade Paperback edition.
How to Help a Hungry Werewolf: A Novel (The Sanctuary for Supernatural Creatures #1)
by Charlotte SteinWhat We Do in the Shadows with the small town feels of Gilmore Girls in this swoon-worthy romance that will leave readers delightfully cozy and hungry for more.When Cassandra Camberwell returns to her hometown of Hollow Brook to clear out her late grandmother’s ramshackle old house, the last thing she expects is Seth Brubaker on her doorstep. Her former best friend was responsible for the worst moment of her high school life, and she can’t imagine he wants to do anything but torment her all over again.Until she unearths the real reason this annoyingly gorgeous beast of a man keeps hanging around: he’s an actual werewolf, who’s certain she’s the witch that will ease his suffering. But Cassie just isn’t sure if she can trust him again. So Seth offers a pact: he’ll teach her all about her undiscovered magic, and she will brew the potions he needs. No feelings, no funny business, just a witch and a werewolf striking a deal.Totally doable. Until they get hit with a do-or-die mating bond. And now the heat is rising, in between fights with formers bullies and encounters with talking raccoons. They just have to not give in. Unless giving in just might be the very thing they never knew they always wanted.
How to Hide a Lion at Christmas (How to Hide a Lion #2)
by Helen StephensA charming holiday picture book about a girl, her pet lion, and a Christmas adventure. Iris and her lion go everywhere together. But when Christmas comes and the family is going away, Mum says the lion must stay behind. After all, you can't take a lion on a train. Luckily the lion has other ideas. He sets off on a festive, snowy adventure to find Iris—and almost bumps into Santa Claus!Helen Stephens's How to Hide a Lion at Christmas will warm young readers' hearts with its colorful illustrations and funny text depicting a sweet friendship.
How to High Tea with a Hyena: A Polite Predators Book (Polite Predators #2)
by Rachel PoliquinThe second book in a hilarious illustrated non-fiction chapter book series starring a savvy and stylish cockroach who guides the reader through an encounter with a charming -- and dangerous -- predator. Is this hyena drooling for tea and crumpets . . . or for you?!Celeste is a cockroach, and everyone knows that cockroaches are survivors, so who better to give advice on surviving an encounter with a polite predator? High teas are dainty meals with pretty teacups: you nibble tiny cakes, sip milky tea and chit-chat about not-so-important things like why doughnuts have holes and if fish have eyebrows. But Ruby the hyena is loud, ferocious and tends to slober. High-speed gobbling makes good sense in the wild, but it is a definite no-no in the tearoom! And Ruby just happens to be Queen of a very large clan of hungry hyenas. Will high tea be ruined by uninvited guests? Is Ruby peckish for something other than Celeste's famous cream buns? Using her vast knowledge of hyenas, Celeste comes up with lots of strategies to get through high tea in one piece. Many of her suggestions are dangerous, most are absurd, but all are based on true hyena biology and hunting behavior.
How to Hold Animals
by Toshimitsu MatsuhashiHow to Hold Animals is the irresistible guide to holding more than forty critters according to advice from wildlife specialists. Learn from the experts—a pet shop owner, a veterinarian, a wildlife photographer, and a reptile handler—how to pick up and hold dozens of species of animals, great and small, furry, scaly, and feathery, including snails, chipmunks, chickens, chinchillas, stag beetles, lizards, hamsters, owls, grasshoppers, mice, and more. Chock full of fascinating facts, interviews with experts, and full-color photos on every page, How to Hold Animals will delight and inform animal lovers of all stripes.
How to Hold Animals: The delightful guide to caring for animals, big and small!
by Toshimitsu MatsuhashiA delightful treasure trove of tips on how to hold animals without hurting them.Should you hold a mouse by its tail? A grasshopper by its leg? A butterfly by its wing?How do you pick up a prickly hedgehog? A slithering snake? A hissing cat?Most of us don't have nearly enough experience of being around animals. We feel a bit apprehensive when it comes to touching them. Maybe we're scared we'll hurt them, or that they'll hurt us. That is a huge shame, because connecting with animals is a magical life skill that can make you feel at peace and aligned with nature.Luckily, animal photographer and former zookeeper Toshimitsu Matsuhashi is here to give you advice and show you the very best way to care for the animals in our lives, from beetles to hamsters and from chickens to dogs. Fully illustrated with fascinating information (did you know that you should go for the smaller rather than the bigger horn when you pick up a stag beetle?), How To Hold Animals leaves no stone unturned and teaches us all how to be kind to the animals around us.
How to Host a Sleepover (Step into Reading)
by Jean ReaganHaving your first sleepover can be a lot of fun! But what happens when someone gets homesick? From the New York Times bestselling creators of How to Babysit a Grandpa comes a sweet Step 2 early reader full of sleepover hijinks and good friends.It's sleepover time! You have the games, snacks, and activities all planned out. But what do you do when your friend feels homesick? It's time to get creative and help her feel better. Together, you can have the best sleepover ever. Plus, learn a few tips and tricks from the experts — kids! This Step Into Reading story features two friends having their first sleepover together, and all the highs and lows that come with it. Perfect for children who are ready to read on their own! Step 2 readers use basic vocabulary and short sentences to tell simple stories. They are perfect for children who recognize familiar words and can sound out new words with help.
How to Hug a Pufferfish
by Ellie PetersonA picture book about a group of underwater friends who learn to ask for permission before showing their prickly, pufferfish pal some love.So, you want to hug a pufferfish...Who could blame you? That friendly, gap-toothed grin is hard to resist! Only, when Pufferfish is hugged or touched unexpectedly by their friends, things can get a little…spiky.It’s not that Pufferfish doesn’t ever want hugs—it’s just that they need to have a say in when and how they’re hugged. Luckily, they have great friends who are willing to listen and learn the best ways to show Pufferfish some love and respect their personal space.With it's bright, commercial art and unique exploration of a timely topic, Ellie Peterson's How to Hug a Pufferfish provides a straightforward and humorous look at consent and body autonomy for kids.
How to Hug an Elephant (Here's Hank #6)
by Henry Winkler Lin Oliver Scott GarrettWhen Hank's class takes a field trip to the zoo, he quickly gets lost after his partner (and nemesis) ditches him. Unable to read the map, Hank wanders and finds himself locked in a habitat with Elsie, an elephant recently rescued and kept isolated. He begins a game of soccer with her, and they become fast friends. But when Hank notices how lonely Elsie is, he's determined to help her find her own animal friends.
How to Invent Everything: A Survival Guide for the Stranded Time Traveler
by Ryan North"How to Invent Everything is such a cool book. It's essential reading for anyone who needs to duplicate an industrial civilization quickly." --Randall Munroe, xkcd creator and New York Times-bestselling author of What If? The only book you need if you're going back in timeWhat would you do if a time machine hurled you thousands of years into the past. . . and then broke? How would you survive? Could you improve on humanity's original timeline? And how hard would it be to domesticate a giant wombat? With this book as your guide, you'll survive--and thrive--in any period in Earth's history. Bestselling author and time-travel enthusiast Ryan North shows you how to invent all the modern conveniences we take for granted--from first principles. This illustrated manual contains all the science, engineering, art, philosophy, facts, and figures required for even the most clueless time traveler to build a civilization from the ground up. Deeply researched, irreverent, and significantly more fun than being eaten by a saber-toothed tiger, How to Invent Everything will make you smarter, more competent, and completely prepared to become the most important and influential person ever. You're about to make history. . . better.
How to Iron Your Own Damn Shirt: The Perfect Husband Handbook Featuring Over 50 Foolproof Ways to Win, Woo and Wow Your Wife
by Craig BorethPERFECT HUSBANDS ARE MADE, NOT BORN LADIES: At long last, a practical guide to help your man become the perfect husband. How to Iron Your Own Damn Shirt is your salvation, with simple, easy-for-a-guy-to-follow instructions on those little things you can never get him to do, such as: * How to Put the Toilet Seat Down * How to Stop Snoring * How to Ask for Directions * Plus, more than 50 other essential topics (even How to Dance at a Wedding) It's a must-have guide that will finally convince him it's in his best interest to make you happy, no matter what it takes. GUYS: Don't panic. It's not how perfect you are, it's how perfect she thinks you are. How to Iron Your Own Damn Shirt is your key to the castle. Imagine what she'll let you get away with if you master a few skills, such as: * How to Appear Calm While She's Driving * How to Apologize Convincingly * How to Enjoy a Chick Flick * Plus, more than 50 other essential topics (even How to Hide Your Porn) How to Iron Your Own Damn Shirt includes countless tips and tricks for keeping you sane, keeping her happy, and keeping you both laughing.
How to Juggle Women Without Getting Killed or Going Broke: Without Getting Killed Or Going Broke
by Stefan FellerYou&’re a stud with a busy schedule, you&’ve got lovely Linda, sassy Sue and tantalizing Tina all demanding that you show them some TLC, but how can you choose which lucky lady deserves your manly presence? Men, you don&’t have to. HOW TO JUGGLE WOMEN WITHOUT GETTING KILLED OR GOING BROKE is the essential dating guide for guys who refuse to settle for the monotony of having just one girlfriend. Having problems meeting girls, making your money stretch to meet all their demands or scheduling your life to include all the women of your choice? Then look no further, this is the guide for you. Stefan Feller shows the way to finding women, keeping them happy and affording it. This time-saving method is a must for the hot hunk on the go. It&’s a big world out there, boys, with so many women and so little time. Why disappoint them?
How to Keep Your Marriage From Sucking: The Keys to Keep Your Wedlock Out of Deadlock
by Greg Behrendt Amiira RuotolaA hilarious and hopeful primer to prevent, combat, and eliminate the suckage in modern marriage by doing it right in the early years, from one of the minds behind the series Sex and the City and the New York Times bestselling authors of He&’s Just Not That Into You, It&’s Called a Breakup Because It&’s Broken, and It&’s Just a F***ing DateSome marriages start out storybook. Perfect proposal, perfect engagement, perfect wedding, perfect honeymoon, and perfect newlywed years. Greg Behrendt and Amiira Ruotola stumbled right out of the wedding gate. Their choices in the early years, they&’ll tell you, nearly bought their marriage a one-way ticket to Suckville. The New York Times bestselling authors explore all the adventures of early wedlock, from the moment one of you gets on one knee to the day when sex starts to feel like work instead of play. In this guidebook, Behrendt and Ruotola explore their own marriage and, with gleeful candor, tremendous warmth, sharp humor, and piercing insight, look at what we who have decided to &“settle down&” hope to get out of our most lasting relationship. We venture through volumes on the engagement, wedding planning, the Big Day, the wedding hangover, the (blissful?) first year, the hard work of marrying two lives, fights, and sex-pectations versus sex-pectreality. The perfect book for those who have just put a ring on it or are thinking of putting a ring on it, Behrendt and Ruotola&’s work is a brilliant guide for the first stretch of that wild ride we call marriage.
How to Keep a Boy from Kissing You (Aurora Skye)
by Tara EglingtonSweet sixteen and never been kissed . . .That’s Aurora Skye’s big secret. And the way she wants it to stay. She’s not going to give away her first kiss to just anyone. Busy dodging suitors and matchmaking for her best friends, Aurora (not so) patiently awaits her prince.But everything changes when Aurora is coerced into a lead role in the school production of Much Ado about Nothing. Which means she’ll have to lock lips with her co-star Hayden Paris—the smart and funny boy next door who also happens to be the bane of her existence, always around to see her at her worst.Now Aurora is more determined than ever to have her first kiss with the one who’s truly worthy of it. But first she’ll have to figure out just who that person is.Romantic and funny, Tara Eglington's How to Keep a Boy from Kissing You is a feel-good tale of finding love where you least expect it.
How to Kidnap the Rich: 'A joyous love/hate letter to contemporary Delhi' The Times
by Rahul Raina'This is an absolute riot - part thriller, part satire of contemporary urban India' Mail on Sunday'If you're fat and Indian, you're rich; if you're fat and poor, you're lying. It's only the West where the rich are thin and vegan and moral...Ramesh Kumar grew up deprived and unloved, working on his father's tea stall in the Old City of Delhi. Now, brilliant but poor, he makes a lucrative living taking tests for the sons of India's elite. When one of his clients, the sweet but hapless eighteen-year-old Rudi Saxena, places first in the All Indias, the national university entrance exams, Ramesh sees an unmissable opportunity.Cashing in on Rudi's newfound celebrity, all goes well for both boys for a while. But Rudi's role on a game show leads to unexpected love, blackmail and, finally, a dangerous kidnapping.As Ramesh leads Rudi through a maze of crimes both large and small, their dizzying journey reveals an India in all its complexity, beauty, and squalor, moving from the bottom rungs to the circles inhabited by the ultra-rich and everywhere in between.Praise for How to Kidnap the Rich'A satire on modern India...this isn't a story about poverty, it's a story about wealth' Guardian'Conjures up a memorable world that is ghee-greased, polluted, mired in dust and corruption' Sunday Times'Like Mohsin Hamid's How to Get Filthy Rich in Rising Asia, How to Kidnap the Rich purports to be a how-to manual but is in fact a rollicking urban adventure and a biting satire of inequality' Economist
How to Kidnap the Rich: 'A joyous love/hate letter to contemporary Delhi' The Times
by Rahul Raina'Ramesh is a wonderfully vivid character and this is an explosively funny, surprisingly moving debut''Mail on SundayIf you're fat and Indian, you're rich; if you're fat and poor, you're lying. It's only the West where the rich are thin and vegan and moral...Ramesh Kumar grew up deprived and unloved, working on his father's tea stall in the Old City of Delhi. Now, brilliant but poor, he makes a lucrative living taking tests for the sons of India's elite. When one of his clients, the sweet but hapless eighteen-year-old Rudi Saxena, places first in the All Indias, the national university entrance exams, Ramesh sees an unmissable opportunity.Cashing in on Rudi's newfound celebrity, all goes well for both boys for a while. But Rudi's role on a game show leads to unexpected love, blackmail and, finally, a dangerous kidnapping.As Ramesh leads Rudi through a maze of crimes both large and small, their dizzying journey reveals an India in all its complexity, beauty, and squalor, moving from the bottom rungs to the circles inhabited by the ultra-rich and everywhere in between.Praise for How to Kidnap the Rich'A satire on modern India...this isn't a story about poverty, it's a story about wealth' Guardian'Conjures up a memorable world that is ghee-greased, polluted, mired in dust and corruption' Sunday Times'Like Mohsin Hamid's How to Get Filthy Rich in Rising Asia, How to Kidnap the Rich purports to be a how-to manual but is in fact a rollicking urban adventure and a biting satire of inequality' Economist
How to Kidnap the Rich: A Novel
by Rahul RainaAn entrepreneurial Indian con artist gets wrapped up in a criminal caper in this satirical look at modern-day India.The first kidnapping wasn’t my fault. The others—those were definitely me.Meet Ramesh Kumar, “examinations consultant,” who makes a lucrative living taking tests for the sons of India’s elite. He is just a cog in the wheel that keeps the middle classes thriving, until he takes India’s national university entrance exam for a lackluster student and inadvertently comes in first.Ramesh sees an opportunity—perhaps even an obligation—to cash in on the newfound celebrity of this client Rudi, who’s soon juggling stardom and his new job as the host of a quiz show. The young man’s meteoric rise brings material wealth and romantic intrigue, until they’re both kidnapped and held for ransom.But the way out of their predicament will lead Ramesh and Rudi through a maze of crimes both large and small, their dizzying journey revealing a modern India in all its complexity, squalor, and beauty.Praise for How to Kidnap the Rich“A monstrously funny and unpredictable wild ride.” —Kevin Kwan, New York Times–bestselling author of the Crazy Rich Asians trilogy“Brimming with rat-a-tat wit, breezy prose, and a keen observation of colorism, casteism, and social inequity. Unputdownable!” —Alka Joshi, New York Times–bestselling author of The Henna Artist“Raina’s debut novel lives up to its billing as a fun caper and social satire thanks to strong characterization, a fast-paced plot, and an eye for the ridiculous. His delicious skewering of the social mores of Delhi’s über-rich and clear-eyed rendering of India’s social hierarchy propel sheer entertainment into striking elucidation in the mode of Aravind Adiga.” —Booklist (starred review)
How to Kill Your Boyfriend (in 10 Easy Steps)
by D. V. BernardIf you could kill your boyfriend and get away with it, would you? In How to Kill Your Boyfriend (in Ten Easy Steps) a young, beautiful woman abducts a complete stranger, so that they can kill her boyfriend. The stranger -- a famous radio call-in host -- is terrified at first; but before she knows it, her beautiful abductor whisks her into a world of amazing possibilities. A sisterhood is forged in blood. They find themselves living and laughing like never before. Yet, all is not as it seems; and before they know it, their quest to kill the boyfriend begins to uncover a mystery that may cost them their own lives.
How to Kill a Monster (Goosebumps #46)
by R. L. StineGretchen, and her stepbrother, Clark hate staying at their grandparents' house. Grandpa Eddie is totally deaf. And all Grandma Rose wants to do is bake. Plus, they live right in the middle of a dark, muddy swamp.Things couldn't get any worse, right? WRONG.Because there's something really weird about Grandma and Grandpa's house. Something odd about that room upstairs. The one that's locked. The one with the strange noises coming from it.Strange growling noises...
How to Land an A330 Airbus: And Other Vital Skills for the Modern Man
by James MayWhat skills does one really need to be a modern man?After being given yet another pointless 'man manual' that told him 50 ways to tie a bow tie in under 30 seconds, James May was certain there was a need for another kind of book. This book, in fact. He reckons there are nine vital things that a chap should be able to do. Not stuff you can download from the Internet, but really important things. You never know when you might need to land an A330 Airbus, or deliver twins. And there may well be a moment when being able to play a bit of classical music on the piano is absolutely crucial to your success with women. How to Land an A330 Airbus offers readers the essential and hilarious guide to modern man skills. So read, learn, and be prepared - you'll wonder how you ever lived without it.
How to Land an A330 Airbus: And Other Vital Skills for the Modern Man
by James MayWhat skills does one really need to be a modern man?After being given yet another pointless 'man manual' that told him 50 ways to tie a bow tie in under 30 seconds, James May was certain there was a need for another kind of book. This book, in fact. He reckons there are nine vital things that a chap should be able to do. Not stuff you can download from the Internet, but really important things. You never know when you might need to land an A330 Airbus, or deliver twins. And there may well be a moment when being able to play a bit of classical music on the piano is absolutely crucial to your success with women. How to Land an A330 Airbus offers readers the essential and hilarious guide to modern man skills. So read, learn, and be prepared - you'll wonder how you ever lived without it.
How to Land an A330 Airbus: And Other Vital Skills for the Modern Man
by James MayWhat skills does one really need to be a modern man?After being given yet another pointless 'man manual' that told him 50 ways to tie a bow tie in under 30 seconds, James May was certain there was a need for another kind of book. This book, in fact. He reckons there are nine vital things that a chap should be able to do. Not stuff you can download from the Internet, but really important things. You never know when you might need to land an A330 Airbus, or deliver twins. And there may well be a moment when being able to play a bit of classical music on the piano is absolutely crucial to your success with women. How to Land an A330 Airbus offers readers the essential and hilarious guide to modern man skills. So read, learn, and be prepared - you'll wonder how you ever lived without it.
How to Land on Your Feet: Life Lessons from My Cat
by Jamie ShelmanWhy spend one life worrying . . . when you could spend nine lives napping? Take it from artist Jamie Shelman's wry and furry felines: Cats work reasonable hours (zero), love wisely (from a distance), and live boldly (until someone starts vacuuming). Don't go without these 100 sage lessons: ·Be especially attentive to the one person who doesn’t like you. ·Get away with murder by looking cute. ·Ignore anyone who doesn't worship you. ·Be pleased with your achievements, however small. ·The best solution to a problem is a nap.Live better—live like your cat!
How to Leave the House: A Novel
by Nathan Newman&“A wild and funny ride through modern life.&” —The Financial TimesIt's Natwest's last day before he leaves for university, and there's only one thing on his mind: the deeply embarrassing package he ordered to his house - which still hasn't arrived. He won't leave town without it. Any alternative is too distressing to consider ...This is the story of twenty-four hours in the life of Natwest, and his small-town odyssey in pursuit of the missing package. And yet it's also the story of a middle-aged dentist who dreams of being a respected artist - but the only thing he can seem to paint is the human mouth. And it's the story of a tortured imam involved in a quasi-romantic entanglement with the local vicar; and an octogenerian mourning the death of her secretive husband; and a troubled teenager whose nudes have leaked on the internet. It's the story of Natwest's obnoxious ex-boyfriend, and his class-traitor mother and her childhood boyfriend, and the life-changing secrets he knows about Natwest's past.Alternating between Natwest's idiosyncratic inner world and the perspectives of the other characters - and dazzling in its energy, imagination and originality - this is an outrageously funny and tenderly moving story about being connected to everyone and everything at all times; about love, friendship, and the lies we tell ourselves; about unhappy endings, happy endings - and whether anything really is as simple as one or the other.
How to Live Indecently (Undone!)
by Bronwyn ScottViscount Jamie Burke: the master of the indecent proposition.Craving adventure, the beautiful Daphne de Courtenay leaves her usual sense of family duty at the society ball door and impulsively accepts the invitation of a dashing stranger who promises a night of unadulterated liberty!Jamie is determined to show Daphne the infinite pleasures of London after dark... But with each escapade more deliciously thrilling than the last, the usually roguish Viscount wishes this was one night that never had to end...