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How Dolly Parton Saved My Life
by Charlotte ConnorsFull of sass, grit, and good old-fashioned faith, "How Dolly Parton Saved My Life" is a hilarious and poignant look at friendship with a distinctly Southern flair.
How Elizabeth Barrett Browning Saved My Life: A Novel
by Mameve MedwedA shy woman’s star turn on Antiques Roadshow leads to unexpected romance in “an adventure to which Jane Austen might have raised a celebratory glass” (Kirkus).Elizabeth Barrett Browning might have written about the length and breadth of love, but Abby Randolph has given up on all that, preferring to spend her time between her cluttered “needs work” apartment and an overcrowded antiques mart optimistically named Objects of Desire. Yet Abby can’t help but wonder what happened to her earlier passionate self . . .Then the Antiques Roadshow comes to town, and Abby joins thousands of Boston’s hopefuls at the crack of dawn, artifact in hand. But there, among the carousel horses and bedraggled stuffed animals, Abby’s rather squalid piece of porcelain gets the star treatment. And from the moment the show airs, everything changes—friendships, her career, love affairs, even the way she views herself and others—as life comes rushing back at Abby Randolph full force.
How Far I'll Go (Little Golden Book)
by Golden BooksSing along to the lyrics from &“How Far I&‘ll Go&” from Disney Moana in this beautifully illustrated Little Golden Book!Set sail and join Disney Princess Moana as she dreams about the world beyond her island! This beautiful Little Golden Book features the lyrics to the beloved song &“How Far I&’ll Go&” from Disney Moana, written by Lin-Manuel Miranda. With illustrated scenes from the hit movie, this book is sure to be a favorite for children ages 2 to 5 as well as Disney fans and Little Golden Book collectors of all ages.Little Golden Books enjoy nearly 100% consumer recognition. They feature beloved classics, hot licenses, and new original stories. . . the classics of tomorrow.
How Freaking Romantic: A Novel
by Emily HardingIn this sharply funny solo debut, an aspiring lawyer is forced to work alongside the opposing counsel in her best friend&’s divorce case, which leads to the biggest irreconcilable difference of all: love.Beatrice Nilsson is what some might call &“feisty&” (those who love her) and others &“combative&” (those who don&’t). But no matter what you call her, she&’s a good lawyer and an even better friend. So when the marriage of her two closest pals ends in divorce, Bea picks a side and storms the office of attorney Nathan Asher to tell him exactly what he can do with his alimony petition. Unfortunately, what should end with a few choice words soon spirals into uncharted territory when Nate shows up at her NYU Law office a few days later as a newly-minted adjunct professor—and her new colleague. Bea still hates Nathan, of course. But between weekly meetings and networking events, walks around Washington Square Park and late-night pizza, that hate begins to feel a lot like something else. And as uncomfortable truths emerge about the divorce that started it all, she might have to choose between her friends&’ happily ever after and her own for the very first time.
How Hard Can It Be? (Handcuffs & Happily Everafters #1)
by Robyn PetermanAn &“outrageous, profane, hilarious, sexy and all kinds of wacky&” romantic comedy from theNew York Times bestselling author of Size Matters (Michelle Rowen, national bestselling author). What happens when an accountant decides to grab life by the horns and try something new? Apparently a pirate named Dave, a lot of pastel fleece, and blackmail—just to start with . . . Visualize and succeed, Oprah said. I was sure as hell trying, even if my campaign to score a job as the local weather girl had ended in a restraining order. Okay, TV was not my strength. But a lack of talent has never stopped me before. Which is why I&’ve embarked on a writing career. I mean, how hard can it be to come up with a sexy romance? Leave it to me to wind up in a group of porno writing grannies who discuss sex toys and apple cobbler in the same breath. Also leave it to me to leak an outlandish plot idea to a bestselling author with the morals of a rabid squirrel. And only I could get arrested for a jewelry heist I didn&’t commit—by a hunky cop whose handcuffs just might tempt me to sign up for a life of crime. Maybe I&’ve found my calling after all . . . &“A zany over-the-top rompfest.&”—Lexi George, author of Demon Hunting with a Sexy Ex &“The most f*cked-up bag of wonderful crazy ever.&”—Dear Author &“If readers are in the mood for hilarious kinkiness woven through a fun romance, then this is the book to try.&”—Long and Short Reviews (4 stars)
How Hard Can It Be?: A Novel
by Allison PearsonA woman approaching fifty must rejoin the workforce as she juggles motherhood and her husband’s midlife crisis in this “brilliant, funny, and tender” novel (Booklist, starred review).Kate Reddy had it all: a nice home, two adorable kids, a good husband. Then her kids became teenagers (read: monsters). Richard, her husband, quit his job, taking up bicycling and therapeutic counseling: drinking green potions, dressing head to toe in Lycra, and spending his time—and their money—on his own therapy. Since Richard no longer sees a regular income as part of the path to enlightenment, it’s left to Kate to go back to work.Companies aren’t necessarily keen on hiring forty-nine-year-old mothers, so Kate does what she must: knocks a few years off her age, hires a trainer, joins a Women Returners group, and prepares a new resume that has a shot at a literary prize for experimental fiction.When Kate manages to secure a job at the very hedge fund she founded, she finds herself in an impossible juggling act: proving herself (again) at work, dealing with teen drama, and trying to look after increasingly frail parents as the clock keeps ticking toward her fiftieth birthday. Then, of course, an old flame shows up out of the blue, and Kate finds herself facing off with everyone from Russian mobsters to a literal stallion.Surely it will all work out in the end. After all, how hard can it be?
How Hard Can It Be?: The World According to Clarkson Volume 4 (The World According to Clarkson)
by Jeremy ClarksonHow Hard Can it Be? is the fourth hilarious volume in Jeremy Clarkson's The World According to Clarkson series.How hard can it be...To build a power station without upsetting the eco-mentalists? To seek world domination if you've been hit the ugly stick? For the Met Office to get yesterday's weather right?In volume four of The World According to Clarkson, Jeremy Clarkson pours scorn on the nonsensical, the dumb, the idiotic and the plain foolish in his continuing quest to discover where exactly we've all gone wrong.Along the way he ponders:• Whether conquering France might solve the immigration problem• What happened when you ignore proper warning labels • What would happen if we turned the internet offOften controversial, frequently scathing but always funnier than James May, Jeremy Clarkson shows us how we could so easily make the world a better place. Praise for Jeremy Clarkson:'Brilliant . . . laugh-out-loud' Daily Telegraph'Outrageously funny . . . will have you in stitches' Time OutNumber-one bestseller Jeremy Clarkson writes on cars, current affairs and anything else that annoys him in his sharp and funny collections. Born To Be Riled, Clarkson On Cars, Don't Stop Me Now, Driven To Distraction, Round the Bend, Motorworld, and I Know You Got Soul are also available as Penguin paperbacks; the Penguin App iClarkson: The Book of Cars can be downloaded on the App Store.Jeremy Clarkson because his writing career on the Rotherham Advertiser. Since then he has written for the Sun and the Sunday Times. Today he is the tallest person working in British television, and is the presenter of the hugely popular Top Gear.
How High? -- That High
by Diane WilliamsDiane Williams, an American master of the short story who will &“rewire your brain&” (NPR), is back with a mind-bending new collection.Williams delivers visionary insights into what it means to be human in stories as short as one or two pages. Her startling sentences often function like wake-up trumpet blasts, and her latest collection of ultra-short masterworks is a container for the elliptical, the magisterial, the voluptuous, and the profane. Set in cafés and houses, taxicabs and gardens, the stories of Diane Williams, &“the godmother of flash fiction" (The Paris Review), deliver moments of extraordinary beauty and wisdom.
How I Became Stupid
by Martin PageIgnorance is bliss, or so hopes Antoine, the lead character in Martin Page?s stinging satire, How I Became Stupid?a modern day Candide with a Darwin Award?like sensibility. A twenty-five-year-old Aramaic scholar, Antoine has had it with being brilliant and deeply self-aware in today?s culture. So tortured is he by the depth of his perception and understanding of himself and the world around him that he vows to denounce his intelligence by any means necessary?in order to become ?stupid? enough to be a happy, functioning member of society. What follows is a dark and hilarious odyssey as Antoine tries everything from alcoholism to stock-trading in order to lighten the burden of his brain on his soul. .
How I Became a Famous Novelist
by Steve HelyIn this blistering evisceration of celebrity culture and literary fame, a roguish loser sets out to write the best-sellingest best seller of all time. When he actually pulls it off, he winds up tearing like a tornado across America's cultural landscape.What Pete Tarslaw wants is simple enough:FAME-Realistic amount. Enough to open new avenues of sexual opportunity. Personal assistant to read mail, grocery shop, etc.FINANCIAL COMFORT-Never have a job again. Retire. Spend rest of life lying around, pursuing hobbies (boating? skeet shooting?)STATELY HOME BY THE OCEAN (OR SCENIC LAKE)-Spacious library, bay windows, wet bar. HD TV, discreetly placed. Comfortable couch.HUMILIATE EX-GIRLFRIEND AT HER WEDDINGThis is the story of how he succeeds in getting it all, and what it costs him in the end.Narrated by an unlikely literary legend, How I Became a Famous Novelist pinballs from the postcollege slums of Boston to the fear-drenched halls of Manhattan's publishing houses, from the gloomy purity of Montana's foremost writing workshop to the hedonistic hotel bars of the Sunset Strip. This is the horrifying, hilarious tale of how Pete Tarslaw's "pile of garbage," called The Tornado Ashes Club, became the most talked about, blogged about, read, admired, and reviled novel in America. It will change everything you think you know-about literature, appearance, truth, beauty, and those people who still care about books.It is the winner of the 2010 Thurber Prize for American Humor.
How I Got My Shrunken Head (Classic Goosebumps #10)
by R. L. StineGoosebumps now on Disney+!What has two eyes, a mouth, and wrinkly green skin? Mark's shrunken head! It's a present from his Aunt Benna. A gift from the jungle island of Baladora.And Mark can't wait to show the kids at school!But late one night the head starts to glow. Because it's actually no ordinary head. It gives Mark a strange power. A magical power. A dangerous power...Now with all-new bonuses including an author interview, gross-out facts, and more!
How I Got This Way
by Patrick F. McManusPatrick McManus, the bestselling author of such hilarious books as A Fine and Pleasant Misery and Never Sniff a Gift Fish, now offers readers solid thoughts on the qualities that define leadership, beginning with the need to be tall, and much more, in this outrageous collection of short pieces that reveals his tortuous trip along the writer's path.
How I Got This Way
by Patrick F. McmanusPatrick McManus, the bestselling author of such hilarious books as A Fine and Pleasant Misery and Never Sniff a Gift Fish, now offers readers solid thoughts on the qualities that define leadership, beginning with the need to be tall, and much more, in this outrageous collection of short pieces that reveals his tortuous trip along the writer's path.
How I Learned to Fly (Goosebumps #52)
by R. L. StineWilson Schlame loves to make Jack Johnson feel like a total loser. And Jack's had it. That's how he ended up down at the beach. In a creepy, old abandoned house. In the dark. Trying to hide from Wilson.But everything is about to change. Because Jack just dug up the coolest book. Its called Flying Lessons. It tells how humans can learn to fly.Poor Jack. He wanted to get back at Wilson. But now that Jack's learned how to fly, things down on earth are getting really scary...
How I Met My Monster (Goosebumps Most Wanted #3)
by R. L. StineGoosebumps now on Disney+!Noah Bienstock can't help being so shy and nervous; he's always been like that. His best friend, Lissa Gardener, lives in the same building, but aside from her, Noah isn't very popular. So when he learns that the new student in his class is also his neighbor, Noah's excited to have a new person to out with. But as the boys spend more time together, Noah starts to worry all over again--is there something strange about his new friend?
How I Paid for College: A Novel of Sex, Theft, Friendship & Musical Theater
by Marc AcitoIt's 1983, and in a sleepy community in New Jersey seventeen-year-old Edward Zanni is Peter Panning his way through a carefree summer of magic and mischief. However, the fun comes to a halt when his father refuses to pay for Edward to study acting at Julliard. Edward's truly in a bind. He's ineligible for scholarships because his father earns too much. And, in a sure sign that he's destined for a life in the arts, Edward's incapable of holding down a job. So he turns to his loyal (but immoral) friends to help him steal the tuition fees from his father, all the while practising for their high school performance of Grease. Disguising themselves as nuns and priests, they merrily scheme their way through embezzlement, money-laundering, identity theft, forgery and blackmail. But along the way, Edward also learns the value of friendship, hard work and how you're not really a man until you can beat up your father, metaphorically or otherwise.
How I Slept My Way to the Middle: Secrets and Stories from Stage, Screen, and Interwebs
by Kevin PollakKevin Pollak rose through the comedy club ranks at the feet of Don Rickles and Bill Cosby, Johnny Carson and George Carlin. Named one of Comedy Central&’s Top 100 Stand-Up Comedians of All Time, he&’s a killer impressionist—Falk, Shatner, Walken, Nicholson—a versatile actor with one of the most respected filmographies around, and an Internet pioneer. He&’s done it all, and now he&’s ready to spill the beans. Ballsy, hilarious, and revealing, How I Slept My Way to the Middle winningly combines never-before-heard stories featuring A-list entertainers with fan favorites and Kevin&’s own thoughts about how he made it. He turned down his first invitation to do stand-up on The Tonight Show because he knew that he&’d make a bigger impact if he sat on the couch next to Johnny. That huge risk—which paid off in spades—was just the beginning. Find out how he brought John Belushi to his knees, tortured Paul Reiser (twice), bamboozled Larry King, stole Alan Arkin&’s soul, almost killed Warren Beatty, and sucked face with Robert DeNiro&’s girlfriend. Now a new media entrepreneur, he&’s laughing proof that if you follow your gut and believe in yourself, you can do anything you want—except have a rational conversation with Rip Torn, who&’s an evil, paranoid $#!%.
How I Spent My Last Night On Earth
by Todd StrasserSomething strange is happening in the parking lot of Time Zone High: The established cliques aren't in their usual gathering places. Instead, everyone has joined in one large, frantically interacting mass. Why? Maybe it's because the world may end tomorrow. Allegra Hanover is Time Zone High's over-achieving valedictorian, so motorcycle-driving surfer bum Andros Bliss seems like the last person she would date. But when an asteroid is rumored to be hurtling toward Earth, the normal high school rules start to fade. Students and teachers are ditching class, and the lines between high school cliques are breaking down. Is the end of the world enough to make Allegra finally go for her secret crush?
How I Spent My Last Night on Earth
by Todd StrasserSomething strange is happening in the parking lot of Time Zone High: The established cliques aren't in their usual gathering places. Instead, everyone has joined in one large, frantically interacting mass. Why? Maybe it's because the world may end tomorrow. For the attractive, brilliant Legs Hanover, this poses daunting questions: What are the romantic possibilities, given she may only have twenty-four hours to live before a giant asteroid smashes into the earth? Or is it all just an Internet cyber hoax? Either way, it's time for Legs to meet the object of her daydreams -- the handsome, frequently truant Andros Bliss. Because during the next twenty-four hours, everyone's life is bound to change.
How I Won a Nobel Prize: A Novel
by Julius TarantoNamed One of the Best Books of the Year by VOGUE and VOX A "very funny, very good" (B. J. Novak) debut novel about a graduate student who follows her disgraced mentor to a university that gives safe harbor to scholars of ill repute, igniting a crisis of work and a test of her conscience (and marriage) Helen is one of the brightest minds of her generation: a young physicist on a path to solve high-temperature superconductivity (which could save the planet). When she discovers that her brilliant adviser is involved in a sex scandal, Helen is torn: should she give up on her work with him? Or should she accompany him to a controversial university, founded by a provocateur billionaire, that hosts academics other schools have thrown out? Helen decides she must go—her work is too important. She brings along her partner, Hew, who is much less sanguine about living on an island where the disgraced and deplorable get to operate with impunity. On campus, Helen finds herself drawn to an iconoclastic older novelist, while Hew stews in an increasingly radical protest movement. Their rift deepens until both confront choices that will reshape their lives—and maybe the world. Irreverent, generous, anchored in character, and provocative without being polemical, How I Won a Nobel Prize illuminates the compromises we&’ll make for progress, what it means to be a good person, and how to win a Nobel Prize. Turns out all of it would be simple—if you could run the numbers.
How I Wonder What You Are
by Jane LoveringIn this delightfully down-to-earth romantic comedy, love is in the stars . . . It’s been over eighteen months since Molly Gilchrist has had a man (in any way), so when she stumbles upon one lying passed out—and stark naked—on the moors one morning, it seems like the universe is having a laugh at her expense. But her discovery, Dr. Phinneas Baxter, is not your everyday drunken layabout, as Molly is soon to discover. He’s got a PhD in astrophysics, a razor-sharp wit, and a trainwreck of a romantic past that’s a match for Molly’s own love life. Neither Molly nor Phinn is in any hurry to get mixed up with the other. But sometimes the last person you’re looking for is the first person you’d like to find . . .
How Lulu Lost Her Mind: A Novel
by Rachel GibsonFrom New York Times bestselling author Rachel Gibson comes the story of a mother-daughter journey to rediscover the past before it disappears forever.Lou Ann Hunter&’s mother, Patricia, has always had a passionate nature, which explains why she&’s been married and divorced five times and spooned enough male patients to be ousted from three elderly care facilities. She also has Alzheimer&’s, which is why she wants to spend the rest of her life surrounded by childhood memories at Sutton Hall, her family&’s decrepit plantation home in Louisiana. Lou Ann, a.k.a. Lulu the Love Guru, has built an empire preaching sex, love, and relationship advice to the women of America—mostly by defying the example her mother has set for her. But with Patricia suddenly in need of a fulltime caretaker, Lou Ann reluctantly agrees to step out of the spotlight and indulge her mother&’s wishes, even if it means trading in her Louboutins and Chanel N°5 for boots and mosquito repellant. Upon her arrival at Sutton Hall, Lou Ann discovers that very little functions as it should—least of all Patricia&’s mind. And as she adjusts to this new and inevitably temporary dynamic with the help of a local handyman and a live-in nurse, she is forced to confront the reality that neither her nor her mother&’s future is going according to plan. Heartrending at times and laugh-out-loud funny at others, How Lulu Lost Her Mind is the book for everyone and their mother. Fans of Emily Giffin, Kristan Higgins, and Jill Shalvis won&’t be able to forget it.
How Many Zen Buddhists Does It Take to Screw in a Light Bulb?
by Matt Freedman Paul HoffmanExamples of the humor craze of the 1980s - the light bulb joke!
How Martha Saved Her Parents from Green Beans
by David LaRochelleMartha HATES green beans. When some mean, green bandits stroll into town, anyone who ever said "Eat your green beans" is in big trouble. But when the beans kidnap Martha's parents, Martha is forced to take action. She can think of only one way to stop the villainous veggies from taking over her town, and it&’s not pretty...or tasty. Featuring absurdly funny text and illustrations with attitude, this is a hilarious read for everyone – even the pickiest of eaters.
How May I Offend You Today?: Rants and Revelations from a Not-So-Proper Southern Lady
by Susannah B. LewisUSA Today bestselling author Susannah B. Lewis (creator of Whoa! Susannah) is back with another hilarious take on what so many people are thinking but are afraid to say aloud.Millions of online fans have flocked to Susannah B. Lewis's hysterical, take-no-prisoners rants about her pet peeves in everyday life. Now, in How May I Offend You Today?, Lewis turns her trademark humor to ordinary events that work her nerves--from people who wear t-shirts with indecent images to public displays of affection in the plumbing aisle of Lowe's--while keeping a wry eye on herself and her own temptation to vent grievances "like a teenage girl in overalls and Birkenstocks."Weaving together anecdotes from her distinctly Southern life with frequent references to the Bible, what she calls "our manual for living," Lewis says what many of us have thought, and in the process encourages us to stand firm in our views. The witty-yet-down-to-earth banter and uplifting, inspirational message of How May I Offend You Today? gives readers everywhere the boost necessary to make it through even their most trying days.