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How to Marry a Rake (Diamonds Of Welbourne Manor Spin Off Ser. #1040)
by Deb MarloweThis spin-off from The Diamonds of Welbourne Manor is “a fun, flirty, fantastic read! . . . If you love Regency romances, don’t miss out on this one” (Love Romance Passion).Back from Europe, heiress Mae Halford has mended her heart after her friend Stephen Manning’s rejection. Looking radiant and full of confidence, she’s ready to find herself a husband!Only, the first man she bumps into at a Newmarket house party is Lord Stephen himself! When the two find themselves covertly working together to find a missing prized racehorse, romance blossoms. But can Mae believe that Stephen has changed enough that their adventure will lead to the altar?“A rollicking good story, How to Marry a Rake is Deb Marlowe at her best . . . The background of the Newmarket racing scene makes for a unique setting and there are plenty of secondary characters to add to this well-written story.” —Romance Reviews Today
How to Marry a Warlock in 10 Days (10 Days #2)
by Saranna DeWyldeGot Warlock?Middy Cherrywood does. She's got more warlock than she can hex with Dred Shadowins. He isn't just a billionaire playboy and Weekly Warlock centerfold. He's a spy for the High Chancellor, and he convinces Middy to pose as his fiancée for his latest mission. Too bad no one told his mother before she slipped Middy a potion that will make their sham engagement all too real in just ten days. Dred Shadowins already has his hands full with cursed objects, possessed nuns, and dreams where Merlin makes him pay for taking his name in vain by relating his sexcapades with Nimue. But by the end of the mission, he's convinced his most difficult challenge is the hero's cape Middy's draped over his shoulders. Because he wants nothing more than to give her the one thing he may not be capable of providing: Happily Ever After. Praise for How to Lose a Demon in 10 Days"Funny, sexy, and wild!" --Cynthia Eden"Grace + Caspian = LOL demonic lovin' fun!" --Dakota Cassidy, author of The Accidental Series"Brash, sexy and funny as hell." --New York Times bestselling author Angie Fox
How to Mend a Broken Heart: The perfect escapist read to bring joy to your day!
by Katey LovellWhen you know how, you can make anything from scratch, including a new life after love...When Leanne and Richard bought a dilapidated old seaside cottage to renovate together as their forever home, their future was full of hope and promise. But heartbreak was just around the corner: fast forward a few months and Richard is gone. With his death, Leanne finds herself stony broke, faced with an uninhabitable home and lacking even the basic skills to do it up herself. With the help of the friendly woman who runs the library and the reluctant assistance of the man who works in the local hardware shop, the cottage is lovingly restored. But broken hearts aren't so easy to fix... are they?Here's what readers are saying about Make Do and Mend a Broken Heart:'An absolutely perfect contemporary fiction book''Emotional, uplifting and immensely enjoyable, Make Do and Mend a Broken Heart is a wonderful story about hope, fresh starts, moving on and healing that will touch your heart and soul''a superb story that will leave you feeling warm and fuzzy after reading... this book made me laugh and cry and I wish I could read it all over again and get to meet these amazing characters afresh''I am normally a hardened SF reader but all of Katey's books have me devouring them from cover to cover! Make Do is no different... Buy this book. Read this book. Tell your friends to do the same''This author is up there with the likes of Milly Johnson''A perfect break away from real life. It's a hug in a book''A beautiful, heartwarming story, perfectly told... for when you just need to escape for a while. Perfect!''A heartwarming uplit read... fantastic, engrossing, uplifting'
How to Mend a Broken Heart: The perfect escapist read to bring joy to your day!
by Katey LovellWhen you know how, you can make anything from scratch, including a new life after love...When Leanne and Richard bought a dilapidated old seaside cottage to renovate together as their forever home, their future was full of hope and promise. But heartbreak was just around the corner: fast forward a few months and Richard is gone. With his death, Leanne finds herself stony broke, faced with an uninhabitable home and lacking even the basic skills to do it up herself. With the help of the friendly woman who runs the library and the reluctant assistance of the man who works in the local hardware shop, the cottage is lovingly restored. But broken hearts aren't so easy to fix... are they?Here's what readers are saying about Make Do and Mend a Broken Heart:'An absolutely perfect contemporary fiction book''Emotional, uplifting and immensely enjoyable, Make Do and Mend a Broken Heart is a wonderful story about hope, fresh starts, moving on and healing that will touch your heart and soul''a superb story that will leave you feeling warm and fuzzy after reading... this book made me laugh and cry and I wish I could read it all over again and get to meet these amazing characters afresh''I am normally a hardened SF reader but all of Katey's books have me devouring them from cover to cover! Make Do is no different... Buy this book. Read this book. Tell your friends to do the same''This author is up there with the likes of Milly Johnson''A perfect break away from real life. It's a hug in a book''A beautiful, heartwarming story, perfectly told... for when you just need to escape for a while. Perfect!''A heartwarming uplit read... fantastic, engrossing, uplifting'
How to Move to Canada: A Discontented American's Guide to Canadian Relocation
by André Du BrocIf you're reading this book, you are one of the many looking for hope, for a way to escape the promise of the nightmare dystopia shortly to befall us. In this, your darkest hour, we have created this book to help guide you into this new journey of hope. We know you are short on time, who knows how long the apocalypse can be held at bay? Luckily for you, this book has all you need in quick, efficient reference format and activities, to help you get this journey underway!
How to Not Be a Dick: And Other Essential Truths About Work, Sex, Love—and Everything Else That Matters
by BrotherIn this full-color, illustrated guide, the wildly popular lifestyle brand Brother offers the definitive handbook to navigating life and becoming a somewhat respectable human beingLife can be complicated. From the classroom to the bedroom, the office to the DM, we could all use a little guidance—young guys especially. No one actually wants to be dick, but from time to time, everyone is. How do we know? Because we at Brother have spent years studying dickishness in all its forms, and we’re finally ready to present our findings, including:-The terrible people you should avoid at all costs-How to make more money (without working all that hard)-The dos and don'ts of sex-How to not be a dick at the gym-Acceptable coping mechanisms for adults-How to get your sh*t together in 10 stepsAnd so much more. Don’t worry, there are plenty of illustrations, too.
How to Not Give a F*ck at Christmas: A No F*cks Given Guide to Surviving the Holidays (A No F*cks Given Guide)
by Sarah KnightFor a stressed-out, overbooked, steadfast giver of too many f*cks, the holidays can be your Kryptonite. In this season of giving, spending, going, doing, and more, it's all too easy to wear yourself out pleasing everyone else. In The Life-Changing Magic of Not Giving A F*ck, Sarah Knight taught you how to shed your unwanted obligations, shame, and guilt, and devote your time and f*cks to things that make you happy. In this pint-sized ebook, she'll tell you how to apply the principles of not giving a f*ck that work for you 11 months of the year to the holiday season.
How to Outfox Your Friends When You Don't Have a Clue
by Jess KeatingWhat would middle school be like if you lived in a zoo? Just ask Ana Wright, star of the hilarious, award-nominated My Life is A Zoo series that combines first crushes, friendship fails...and pack dynamics. Surprise! Ana's long distance BFF is finally coming back to visit. But with her purple hair and new attitude, Liv is barely the girl Ana remembers. This new Liv probably thinks a birthday party at the zoo is lame. Maybe if Ana has a super-secret sleepover instead, she'd never have to introduce Liv to Ashley, former enemy and now Ana's best-ish friend. What could go wrong?Creature File for Liv: Species Name: Best Frendicus Kingdom: New Zealand Phylum: girl who used to be Ana Wright's best friend, girl who used to like getting milkshakes at Shaken, Not Stirred Feeds on: video chats with Leilani, attention from boysLife span: undetermined, but if things keep going the way they are, the lifespan of Ana and Liv, BFFs isn't going to be the "forever" they thought...Jess Keating combines the quirky humor and animal-centric plots of Carl Hiaasen with the awkward adolescent antics of Lauren Myracle in this fresh new middle grade series!Praise for How to Outrun a Crocodile When Your Shoes Are Untied (My Life is a Zoo Book 1): 2015 Red Maple Award nominee 2015-2016 Georgia Children's Book Award nominee "Keating delivers a fun-filled, pitch-perfect book...about the perils of being 12 in a snake-eat-snake world." - Kirkus STARRED Review "Life is literally a zoo for shy twelve-year-old Anna, who is trying to avoid seventh-grade bullies while hiding that her family lives among crocodiles and elephants." -Los Angeles Times "A menagerie of laugh-out-loud antics." --Anna Staniszewski, author of The Dirt Diary "A wild romp, filled with humor and heart." ~ Lisa Schroeder, author of It's Raining Cupcakes
How to Outrun a Crocodile When Your Shoes Are Untied
by Jess Keating"A wild romp, filled with humor and heart."--Lisa Schroeder, author of It's Raining Cupcakes and the Charmed Life series Ana Wright's social life is now officially on the endangered list: she lives in a zoo (umm, elephant droppings!?), her best friend lives on the other side of the world, and the Sneerers are making junior high miserable. All Ana wants is to fade into the background.Yeah, that's not going to happen. Creature File for Ana Wright:Species Name: Anaphyta Normalis Kingdom: The Zoo, Junior High Phylum: Girls Whose Best Friend Just Moved To New Zealand; Girls Who Are Forced To Live In A Zoo With Their Weirdo Parents And Twin Brother Weight: Classified Feeds On: Daydreams about Zackardia Perfecticus and wish cupcakesLife Span: Soon to become extinct due to social awkwardness
How to Pee Your Pants: The Right Way
by Rachel Michelle WilsonDon’t miss this humorous and heartwarming picture book by debut creator Rachel Michelle Wilson about that embarrassing moment in life when you (gasp) pee your pants. Well, it happened. You peed your pants.You probably regret that second (okay, third) lemonade.We’ve all been there.This book has some tips to get you through it (including but not limited to traffic cone pants, extraterrestrial negotiations, food fights, and other very practical techniques).With her playful retro palette, debut author-illustrator Rachel Michelle Wilson offers a space to laugh with yourself through one of life’s most embarrassing moments and remember that you’re never as alone as you think.
How to Pet a Cat
by Angela StaehlingKeep your cat happy and pet them right with this cute and handy illustrated guide!Cats have quite a few opinions, but with easy-to-follow instructions and helpful diagrams, this book will teach you how—and how not—to illicit approving purrs, mews, and chirps. From "The Booty Lift Pet" to the "I Need That Catnip on My Desk Yesterday Pet," learn over 20 tips and tricks to be the person your cat wants you to be. With bonus insights into cat sounds, body language, and more—as well as charming, full-color illustrations—this fun, lighthearted book will delight cat lovers of all kinds!FUNNY AND RELATABLE: Everyone who has tried to pet a cat has experienced most if not all of these silly and sweet scenarios.SWEET AND EDUCATIONAL: While quirky, this book is still informative and educational. You may learn a thing or two, like why your cat loves having their face pet but will leave the room if you try to give their belly a rub.CUTE GIFT: With endearing illustrations and tongue-in-cheek advice, this is a wonderful gift for any cat owner or cat lover!Perfect for:• Cat lovers• Holiday and birthday gift shoppers• Those looking for a silly pick-me-up and something cute• For fans of How to Tell if Your Cat is Plotting to Kill You, I Could Pee on This, and Herding Cats
How to Piss Off Men: 109 Things to Say to Shatter the Male Ego
by Kyle PrueBE NO MAN'S PEACE.Have you ever been badgered by an annoying pick-up artist at the bar? Ever felt a burning desire to emotionally torture a friend's boyfriend in an act of revenge? Have you ever endured just talking to a man before?If so, then this book is for you.With more than 100 phrases, questions, and comebacks, How to Piss Off Men is your essential guide to sending even the most relentless mansplainer into an existential crisis. Whether it's referring to his expensive NFL jersey as "cosplay" or letting him know he has the confidence of a much taller man, this handbook will ensure you're equipped to combat toxic masculinity in any situation.** The advice in this book has been thoroughly tested for effectiveness. Even on the author, bless his heart.
How to Piss Off Men: 109 Things to Say to Shatter the Male Ego
by Kyle PrueBE NO MAN'S PEACE.Have you ever been badgered by an annoying pick-up artist at the bar? Ever felt a burning desire to emotionally torture a friend's boyfriend in an act of revenge? Have you ever endured just talking to a man before?If so, then this book is for you.With more than 100 phrases, questions, and comebacks, How to Piss Off Men is your essential guide to sending even the most relentless mansplainer into an existential crisis. Whether it's referring to his expensive football shirt as 'cosplay' or letting him know he has the confidence of a much taller man, this handbook will ensure you're equipped to combat toxic masculinity in any situation.** The advice in this book has been thoroughly tested for effectiveness. Even on the author, bless his heart.
How to Piss in Public: From Teenage Rebellion to the Hangover of Adulthood
by Gavin McinnesThough technically a memoir, this is more a compendium of hair-whitening bar stories that punch you in the throat until your eyes explode. Many people have watched their friends die and some have been to jail. There are those who have stepped in the ring with professional fighters and been beaten within an inch of their lives. Others have created media empires. Very few have done all this and embarrassed dozens of celebrities; enjoyed more than a couple of threesomes; brought the world "Warhol's Children"; consistently attracted a million views with viral comedy videos; said, "Jesus is gay," on national television; and made two American Indians from scratch. There certainly isn't anyone with this kind of life experience who can convey each tale in such a hilarious and endearing way. Whether he's watching his friend get decapitated on acid or snorting cocaine off women's breasts, McInnes only ever has one priority: maximum laughs. He's not here to tell you how wise his father is or how hard it was to achieve his success. He's here to make you laugh so hard, you puke. That's it.
How to Plan Your Own Destination Wedding: Do-It-Yourself Tips from an Experienced Professional
by Sandy MaloneTen years ago, when Sandy Malone was planning her Caribbean destination wedding, there was no Pinterest, no Instagram, and no Wedding Wire. The Knot and the Wedding Channel were in their infancy. And Malone was planning her wedding from scratch.The tips and advice in How to Plan Your Own Destination Wedding will help brides and grooms navigate the murky waters of destination-wedding planning—and they are murky because most do-it-yourself brides and grooms are looking to do something “different” from what all of their friends have done before them. Unfortunately, the more remote, bizarre, and challenging the destination is, the more attractive it appears to the do-it-yourself couple.That’s where Sandy Malone, star of Wedding Island (TLC), who has been planning weddings for ten years, comes in. She offers advice to brides and grooms on how NOT to spend money on things they don’t need to invest in, and where they DO need to spend money to make sure the event runs smoothly. She also gives tips on how to negotiate the contract with the venue, the “wetiquette” of invitations for destination weddings, finding and handling vendors abroad, and much more. This book offers the complete guide to destination weddings, by a true expert!
How to Play Chess for Kids: Simple Strategies to Win!
by Jessica E. MartinLearn to play chess—and win—with this complete guide for kids ages 8 to 12Check it out: Playing chess is tons of fun…and it can help make you smarter, too! How to Play Chess for Kids teaches you everything you need to know to start—even if you've never played before.First get the hang of moving each piece, understand the rules, then find out how to capture pieces and win. In this book of chess for kids, you'll try out different tactics, discover super-secret strategies, and practice thinking ahead.How to Play Chess for Kids includes:How to speak chess—Chess has its own language—learn to speak it with a guide to game notation and an easy glossary.See it, play it—Lots of diagrams make learning chess for kids easy by illustrating the moves in every example.Real-life moves—Learn from the best with exciting excerpts from championship games by chess masters throughout history.You'll conquer the game of kings and queens in no time with How to Play Chess for Kids!
How to Plot a Payback
by Melissa FergusonHe crossed an ocean, and it still wasn&’t enough to escape his lifelong nemesis. Now he has to work with her.Successful screenwriter Finn Masters just landed his dream job writing for Neighbors, one of Hollywood&’s highest-rated, longest-running sitcoms. The only downside? It will put him back in proximity of the show&’s universally adored, optimistic, altruistic star, Lavender Rhodes, who has been inadvertently ruining his life since they were school chums in England. But she doesn&’t even know she destroyed his acting career and wrecked his relationship with the love of his life.He&’s not about to let this woman yank yet another dream out from under his feet. In fact, he realizes he&’s been given the ideal opportunity to plot his payback: spinning her character in shocking new directions. What could go wrong? Only everything. As Finn&’s not-so-brilliant plot backfires one scene after the next, catching him in the blasts, he&’s forced to think about this impossible, infuriating…and maybe even lovable woman in an entirely new light.Sweet romantic comedyStand-alone novelBook length: 88,000 wordsIncludes discussion questions for book clubs
How to Potty Train Your Porcupine
by Tom ToroThis laugh-out-loud picture book is a hilarious take on potty training by a talented New Yorker cartoonist -- perfect for fans of If You Give a Mouse a Cookie and How to Babysit a Grandma. Two children bring home a pet porcupine, but they can only keep her if she's house-trained! After a whirlwind of increasingly zany approaches, the kids learn that sometimes the best way to solve a problem is to ask nicely. With Tom's wit and dynamic artwork, this delightful story about learning to pee will bring joy and heart to young readers.
How to Profit from the Coming Rapture: Getting Ahead When You're Left Behind
by Barbara Davilman Ellis WeinerAre the end times near? Is the Rapture really just around the corner? Could Jerry Falwell and Pat Robertson possibly be right? About 1 billion people among us believe, yes, absolutely. And that means one thing: investment opportunities! For those who are not as expertly versed in the Book of Revelation, Ellis Weiner and Barbara Davilman, authors of the bestselling Yiddish with Dick and Jane, helpfully offer both illumination and advice: What exactly is the Rapture, anyway? How is it different from the Tribulation? Who are the Antichrist, the Four Horsemen, and the 144,000 male virgins, and what do they want? And, most important, how can I make money during the 7 years of societal breakdown before Armaggedon? Taking the familiar form of a how-to investment guide, HOW TO PROFIT FROM THE COMING RAPTURE instructs those readers who will certainly be left behind (Jews, Catholics, Muslims, Buddhists, Hindus, less ardent Protestants, and many more) on how to exploit the inevitable demise of the world in order to make a tidy profit. Sure, the rivers and seas will run with blood, locusts will swarm, mountains will move all over the place, and famine will strike. But for the five billion of us left behind, the post-Rapture world will be a time of even more unique investment opportunities.
How to Promenade with a Python: A Polite Predators Book (Polite Predators #1)
by Rachel PoliquinIn this hilarious non-fiction chapter book series, a savvy cockroach shares wise tips and tricks to surviving an encounter with a charming predator who may (or may not) want to be your friend.Celeste is a cockroach, and everyone knows that cockroaches are survivors, so who better to give advice on surviving an encounter with a polite predator? Everyone also knows that taking a moonlit promenade with a deadly reticulated python (named Frank) is a very bad idea. But Celeste loves very bad ideas, and she is willing to put your life on the line to prove herself right! Need to stop a python from swallowing you head-first? Wear a lamp shade as a hat! Want to speed up a three-hundred-pound snake? Try roller skates! What's the perfect light snack for a python? A chicken! Using her superior pythonine knowledge, Celeste comes up with various strategies and solutions -- many dangerous, most absurd, but all based on the biology of pythons. Meanwhile, Frank is hatching his own plans.Rachel Poliquin has created a delightfully preposterous premise that, combined with Kathryn Durst's hilarious illustrations, will have readers laughing out loud as they learn about python biology and hunting behavior.
How to Prosper in the Coming Apocalypse
by Richard CurtisDoomsday preppers, don&’t panic! Profit! An investment guide and survivalist handbook for the end of the world. Here&’s your chance to make it to the 1 percent—after 99 percent of humanity has perished. Worried about inflation? Concerned about nuclear arms in the hands of terrorists? Nervous about fuel costs? This must-have book is all you need to gear up for windfall profits, while friends and in-laws lose their shirts. Watch the final convulsions of civilization from the veranda of your country estate. Invaluable strategies and suggestions include tips on: Finding and fortifying your rural hideaway. (Do keep a spare copy of the minefield map; don&’t run the toaster while the electric fence is on.)New careers in Armageddon—people are going to need marksmanship lessons, evacuation luggage, places to flee (group rates available for mass stampedes).Planning ahead and cashing in when the panic hits! The Scarcity Investment Plan—stock up now on valium, lead shields, and bankruptcy forms. (Full details available in our monthly newsletter—subscribe!)Doomsday etiquette—looting protocol, dressing for a food riot, bomb shelter decor, a basic getaway wardrobe. (Don&’t forget trinkets for the natives; do wear comfortable shoes.) When the trumpets sound—and the end of the world is nigh—remember to pick up your dry cleaning, cancel your cable, and call your mother. And don&’t forget to pack your copy of How to Prosper in the Coming Apocalypse.
How to Quinoa: Life Lessons from My Imaginary Well-Dressed Daughter
by Tiffany BeveridgeMEET QUINOA! She’s the fearless and fashion-forward toddler taking over the world one elaborate play date at a time. From designer duds to posh friends to even the most avant-garde snack foods, Quinoa is setting trends and taking names. (In fact, see her list of approved baby names inside. ) She’s got more cool factor than the Kardashian, Jolie-Pitt, and Paltrow offspring combined. Oh yeah . . . she’s also imaginary. Based on the wildly popular Pinterest board, My Imaginary Well-Dressed Toddler Daughter, How to Quinoa will take you on a tour of high fashion hilarity with snapshots and stories from the life of the world’s most influential toddler, plus tips and best practices to transform your own life and wardrobe from snore to roar. Quinoa will show you how to do everything from raising a superior child to securing a compatible BFF. And from finding your own path to designer happiness to practicing on-trend hobbies like drinking flavored lemonades from mason jars. So, ask yourself this: Are you ready to Quinoa?
How to Raise Your Adult Children: Real-Life Advice for When Your Kids Don't Want to Grow Up
by Gail Parent Susan EndeIn this irreverent guide, a bestselling comedy writer and noted psychotherapist teach parents how to handle their grown kids There are many books out there to teach you how to handle your children after they graduate from diapers, but none tells you how to proceed once they graduate from high school. As new patterns emerge in the lives of young adults, parents find that their grown children have bigger problems than they did just a few years ago. <P><P> How to Raise Your Adult Childrenis a manual for anxious moms and dads. Whether confronting the question of setting a curfew for a college kid at home, or paying for a forty-year-old daughter's wedding, two "been there, done that" moms give advice with an edge on a variety of emotionally and financially perilous situations, including: <P> * Your kid needs money--your money <P> * Your kid moves back home and stayshome <P> * You know your child should not marry their significant other <P> * Your big children keep dumping their little children on you <P> Combining the wit of Emmy Award-winning writer Gail Parent and the insight of psychotherapist Susan Ende, this book answers questions most parents never imagined they would have to ask.
How to Raise a Billionaire Genius: Guarantee Your Crying Poop Monster Grows Up to be Better Than All the Other Kids
by D. Hornby Sean CampbellFrom attachment-parenting hugs to Tiger Mom discipline, the so-called experts offer plenty of contradictory advice on how to raise the perfect child. So don't bother with their boring theories and instead follow the hilarious, if not so expert, suggestions in this book and surely (well, maybe) your precious offspring will turn out to be exactly what you want.*Forget Mozart-inspire a BILLIONAIRE in the womb by playing stock market bells and yelling like rally-crazed brokers.* A GENIUS isn't made playing hide-and-seek, so stop your offspring from playing games with IQ-draining friends.* A SUPER MODEL can't have fat (not even baby fat), so start her at birth on a diet of painkillers, cigarettes and vodka.
How to Raise a Jewish Dog
by The Rabbis of the Boca Raton Theological Seminary, Ellis Weiner and Barbara DavilmanA ‘Not Missing Yet’ sign informs neighbours that dog is not missing. Some trainers call this precaution unnecessary. We say: It couldn’t hurt.