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I Don't Want to Be Big
by Dev PettyFans of the hit picture book I Don&’t Want to Be a Frog will love this silly companion featuring a frog that's still as stubborn as ever and his surprisingly patient father."Reminiscent of Mo Willems&’s 'Elephant and Piggie' series"—Publishers Weekly Frog does NOT want to grow up. Doesn&’t need to be tall. Doesn&’t want to be able to jump high enough to see the tree frogs. He&’s just FINE being small. Besides, if you grow up, you don&’t get to do fun things like jump in mud puddles with your best friend, Pig. Do you? This hilarious story—which uses humor to teach that it&’s great being exactly who you are—is sure to bring a smile to every kid who just wants to stay a kid, in addition to those who are the smallest in their class. It&’s a sly and smartly funny tale that will have children and parents laughing together.And look for all the books in this hilarious series:I Don't Want to Be a FrogThere's Nothing to Do!I Don't Want to Go to Sleep
I Don't Want to Be Quiet!
by Laura Ellen AndersonOne little girl just doesn't want to be quiet, until she learns how much fun she can have without making a sound--especially in the library.I don't want to be quiet, I'd rather be LOUD!I want to be HEARD andstand out from the crowd!Sometimes it's hard to be quiet. There are drums to drum and hums to hum, drinks to slurp and burps to burp--so many loud and wonderful noises to make! So when this spunky little girl goes to the library, it's extra difficult to behave--until the entire room tells her to SHHHHHH. It's only then, as she discovers the wonders that live inside books, that she sees how much fun she can have in her own imagination--all without making a peep.In this bright and playful rhyming picture book filled with vibrant, cheerful illustrations, readers learn the joy that is possible when we really stop and listen.Praise for I Don't Want to Be Quiet:"Vivid, imaginative illustrations engage readers and viscerally convey the wide range of emotions felt by this audacious protagonist. Perfect for lively read-alouds!" --Kirkus Reviews
I Don't Want to Be a Frog
by Dev PettyThe hit book about a willful young frog with a serious identity crisis and his heard-it-all-before father. Perfect for fans of Mo Willems&’s Don&’t Let the Pigeon Drive the Bus! and Jon Klassen&’s I Want My Hat Back!Frog wants to be anything but a slimy, wet frog. A cat, perhaps. Or a rabbit. An owl? But when a hungry wolf arrives—a wolf who HATES eating frogs—our hero decides that being himself isn&’t so bad after all. In this very silly story with a sly message, told in hilarious dialogue between a feisty young frog and his heard-it-all-before father, young readers will identify with little Frog&’s desire to be something different, while laughing along at his stubborn yet endearing schemes to prove himself right.And look for the hilarious sequels—I Don't Want to Be Big, There's Nothing to Do!, and I Don't Want to Go to Sleep.★ "First-time author Petty&’s dialogue between a frog father and his son makes its point about accepting one&’s nature with a big grin. . . . The story might create similar gratitude in the minds of readers—or it might just make them giggle."—Publishers Weekly, STARRED REVIEW"A lively look at self-acceptance."—Kirkus Reviews"This amusing story ends with a laugh and a much more content frog."—School Library Journal"Silliness and deadpan humor combine into a hopping good story of being happy with who you are."—Booklist"A paean to self-acceptance wrapped in snappy dialogue and illustrated with richly colored comic paintings."—Wall Street Journal"Petty and Boldt provide just enough predictability to hook youngest readers, then deliver a delightful twist or two to create surprise and satisfaction—for both the green hero and the many fans he'll make with this book."—Shelf Awareness"This lighthearted exploration of identity will delight as a readaloud."—The Bulletin of the Center for Children's Books
I Don't Want to Die Poor: Essays
by Michael ArceneauxOne of NPR&’s Best Books of 2020 One of Time&’s 100 Must-Read Books of 2020 From the New York Times bestselling author of I Can&’t Date Jesus, which Vogue called &“a piece of personal and cultural storytelling that is as fun as it is illuminating,&” comes a wry and insightful essay collection that explores the financial and emotional cost of chasing your dreams. Ever since Oprah Winfrey told the 2007 graduating class of Howard University, &“Don&’t be afraid,&” Michael Arceneaux has been scared to death. You should never do the opposite of what Oprah instructs you to do, but when you don&’t have her pocket change, how can you not be terrified of the consequences of pursuing your dreams? Michael has never shied away from discussing his struggles with debt, but in I Don&’t Want to Die Poor, he reveals the extent to which it has an impact on every facet of his life—how he dates; how he seeks medical care (or in some cases, is unable to); how he wrestles with the question of whether or not he should have chosen a more financially secure path; and finally, how he has dealt with his &“dream&” turning into an ongoing nightmare as he realizes one bad decision could unravel all that he&’s earned. You know, actual &“economic anxiety.&” I Don&’t Want to Die Poor is an unforgettable and relatable examination about what it&’s like leading a life that often feels out of your control. But in Michael&’s voice that&’s &“as joyful as he is shrewd&” (BuzzFeed), these razor-sharp essays will still manage to make you laugh and remind you that you&’re not alone in this often intimidating journey.
I Don't Want to Read This Book
by Max GreenfieldFrom actor Max Greenfield (from television&’s New Girl) comes a hilarious picture book for every child who thinks they don't like to read books (and all the kids—and grownups—who do). Words, sentences, and even worse, paragraphs fill up books. Ugh! So what's a reluctant reader to do? Actor Max Greenfield (New Girl) and New York Times bestselling illustrator Mike Lowery bring the energy and laugh-out-loud fun out for every child (and parent) who thinks they don&’t want to read a book. Joining the ranks of favorites like The Book With No Pictures and The Serious Goose, this clever and playful read-aloud breaks the fourth wall and will have all readers coming back for laughs again and again!
I Don't Want to Wash My Hands!
by Tony RossFrom beloved children's author and illustrator Tony Ross, comes a fun to read and humorous take on the importance of handwashing.The Little Princess does not want to wash her hands. After all, she's already washed her hands so many times! She's washed her hands before eating and after going outside. She's washed her hands after sneezing and using the potty. Why should she wash her hands anymore? Well, because of germs and nasties, she's told, which are too small to even see! But if they get inside your body, they can make you ill. Not even a Princess wants to be in bed all day! Now the Little Princess knows just what to do! She's got just one more question... "Have you washed your hands?"
I Dream in Blue: Life, Death, and the New York Giants
by Roger DirectorI Dream in Blue is television producer Roger Director's up close and personal chronicle of the 2006-2007 seasons spent with Eli Manning, Plaxico Burress, and the rest of the New York Giants, from the first snap of summer camp to the final touchdown of a tumultuous, heart-stopping journey.Throughout it all, Director's got only one end in mind: the Super Bowl. He guts it out with Big Blue, refusing to let anything sideline him—not his fumble-prone television career, not even the strain of occasionally having to act like a responsible husband and father. Along the way, he tells the story of this great sports dynasty's origins and traces its rise to become the heartbeat of New York City and, finally, the world-shocking, Patriots-beating king of pro football. Director was there in Phoenix with his Big Blue heroes as they pulled off the greatest upset in Super Bowl history. In this edition, featuring brand-new chapters that take Giants fans along for the ultimate joy ride, Director continues to dream in blue—and this time watches his dream come true.
I Dream of Joni: A Portrait of Joni Mitchell in 53 Snapshots
by Henry AlfordThe eternal singer-songwriter Joni Mitchell is seen anew, portrayed through a witty and comprehensive exploration of anecdotes, quotes, and lyrics by Henry Alford, &“the most graceful of humorists&” (Vanity Fair) and a writer for The New Yorker.Joni Mitchell&’s life, psyche, and evolving legacy are explored here in vivid technicolor—from her childhood in Saskatoon, Canada, to her arrival in Laurel Canyon that turned her into, as Alford puts it, &“the bard of heartbreak and longing.&” Each period of Mitchell&’s life is observed via the artists, friends, family, and lovers she encountered along the way, including James Taylor, Leonard Cohen, Georgia O&’Keefe, Prince, and, most significantly, Kilauren, the daughter Mitchell gave up for adoption at birth but then reconnected with decades later. Presented in the impressionistic vein of Ninety-Nine Glimpses of Princess Margaret, I Dream of Joni explores in fifty-three essays, with the author&’s trademark wit and verve, the life of the legendary singer-songwriter.
I Drink for a Reason
by David CrossAfter a decade spent in isolation in the Ugandan jungles thinking about stuff, David Cross has written his first book. Known for roles on the small screen such as "never-nude" Tobias Funke on Arrested Development and the role of "David" in Mr. Show With Bob And David, as well as a hugely successful stand-up routine full of sharp-tongued rants and rages, Cross has carved out his place in American comedy. Whether deflating the pomposity of religious figures, calling out the pathetic symbiosis of pseudo-celebrity and its leaching fandom, or merely pushing the buttons of the way-too-easily offended P.C. left or the caustic, double-standard of the callous (but funnier) right, Cross has something to say about everyone, including his own ridiculous self. Now, for the first time, Cross is weaving his media mockery, celebrity denunciation, religious commentary and sheer madness into book form, revealing the true story behind his almost existential distaste of Jim Belushi ("The Belush"), disclosing the up-to-now unpublished minutes to a meeting of Fox television network executives, and offering up a brutally grotesque run-in with Bill O'Reilly. And as if this wasn't enough for your laughing pleasure in these troubled times, some of the pieces splinter off with additional material being created online in exclusive video and animated web content created solely for the book-a historical first (presumably)! With a mix of personal essays, satirical fiction posing as truth,, advice for rich people, information from America's least favorite Rabbi and a top-ten list of top-ten lists, I DRINK FOR A REASON is as unique as the comedian himself, and cannot be missed.
I Eat Poop.: A Dung Beetle Story
by Mark PettIn the vein of Please Don't Eat Me and We Don't Eat Our Classmates, I Eat Poop. by Mark Pett is a heartwarming and hilarious picture book about friendship, fitting in, and accepting each other's differences.Dougie has a secret: he’s not a ground beetle.He’s a dung beetle, and he loves eating poop.Dougie knows he should be proud. Dung beetles help process waste and do other extraordinary things! But Dougie also knows that if anyone at school saw his lunch, he’d be an outcast.One day, the lunchroom bugs out over a classmate eating poop, and Dougie must make a choice. Can he stand up for his friend—and for his true self?I Eat Poop. is packed with important social emotional learning themes and is great for classroom or at home discussion. Read I Eat Poop. for conversations about:- Bullying and being kind- Standing up for your friends and speaking up for your beliefs- Being proud of your culture and heritage- Embracing diversity and accepting and celebrating differencesThe book also includes incredible, STEM-related facts about bugs.
I Even Funnier: A Middle School Story (I Funny #2)
by James Patterson Chris Grabenstein Laura ParkIn this follow up to the #1 New York Times bestseller I Funny, middle schooler Jamie Grimm has big dreams of being the best stand-up comic in the world--and he won't let the fact that he's wheelchair-bound stand in his way. After winning the New York state finals in the Planet's Funniest Kid Comic Contest, Jamie's off to Boston to compete in the national semi-finals. But when one of his best buddies runs into trouble at school and a sudden family health scare rears its head, Jamie has to put his comedic ambitions on hold and stand by the people he cares about. Can Jamie pass up the big competition for the sake of his friends and family? (Includes more than 175 black-and-white illustrations.)
I F*cking Love You: Real and Relatable Ways to Be Romantic
by Summersdale PublishersI love you more than I love cake. And I really like cake.Romantic declarations don’t need to be all lovey-dovey: they can be amusingly honest or laced with profanity! Forget the mushy stuff you see in the movies – this book is loaded with down-to-earth proclamations and witty one-liners that will let a special someone know how you really feel.
I F*cking Love You: Real and Relatable Ways to Be Romantic
by Summersdale PublishersI love you more than I love cake. And I really like cake.Romantic declarations don’t need to be all lovey-dovey: they can be amusingly honest or laced with profanity! Forget the mushy stuff you see in the movies – this book is loaded with down-to-earth proclamations and witty one-liners that will let a special someone know how you really feel.
I Feel Bad About My Neck: And Other Thoughts On Being A Woman
by Nora Ephron#1 NATIONAL BESTSELLER • A candid, hilarious look at women of a certain age and dealing with the tribulations of maintenance, menopause, empty nests, and life itself.&“Wickedly witty ... Crackling sharp ... Fireworks shoot out [of this collection].&” —The Boston GlobeWith her disarming, intimate, completely accessible voice, and dry sense of humor, Nora Ephron chronicles her life as an obsessed cook, passionate city dweller, and hapless parent. But mostly she speaks frankly and uproariously about life as an older woman. Utterly courageous, uproariously funny, and unexpectedly moving in its truth telling, I Feel Bad About My Neck is a scrumptious, irresistible treat of a book, full of truths, laugh out loud moments that will appeal to readers of all ages.
I Feel Relatively Neutral About New York
by Jory John Avery MonsenHave you ever loved something, but also totally not loved it at the same time? Would you like to "heart" New York, but you're not quite ready for that kind of commitment? Have you ever had the feeling that other cities probably have pretty good pizza, too? This light-hearted skewering of the Big Apple sets the record straight with semi-informed opinions, questionable charts, and some slapdash Photoshop work. On a scale from one to spectacular, we give New York a five. And after reading this book, we think you ll agree! Or whatever.
I Finally Bought Some Jordans: Essays
by Michael Arceneaux"Very good writers have an ability to make you understand what they're feeling. But the very best writers have an ability to make you understand what you're feeling. And that's where Michael Arceneaux sits, and that's what he does in this new book. It's like he's crawling around inside your head opening file cabinets and telling you what the gibberish you've scribbled on each page in each file means. What a great, fun read."—Shea Serrano, #1 New York Times bestselling authorNew York Times bestselling author Michael Arceneaux returns with a hilarious collection of essays about making your voice heard in an increasingly noisy and chaotic world.In his books I Can't Date Jesus and I Don't Want to Die Poor, Michael Arceneaux established himself as one of the most beloved and entertaining writers of his generation, touching upon such hot-button topics as race, class, sexuality, labor, debt, and, of course, paying homage to the power and wisdom of Beyoncé. In this collection, Arceneaux takes stock of how far he has traveled—and how much ground he still has to cover in this patriarchal, heteronormative society. He explores the opportunities afforded to Black creatives but also the doors that remain shut or ever-so-slightly ajar; the confounding challenges of dating in a time when social media has made everything both more accessible and more unreliable; and the allure of returning home while still pushing yourself to seek opportunity elsewhere.I Finally Bought Some Jordans is both a corrective to, and a balm for, these troubling times, revealing a sharply funny and keen-eyed storyteller working at the height of his craft.
I Flipping Love You
by Helena HuntingFrom New York Times bestselling author Helena Hunting comes I Flipping Love You, a love story about flipping houses, taking risks, and landing that special someone who’s move-in ready.Rian Sutter doesn’t usually get hit on in the grocery store, but when she notices a sexy man in a suit checking her out, she thinks maybe it’s her lucky day. Either that or the suit has a thing for sweaty, yoga-pant wearing women with excellent price matching skills.Turns out it’s neither.Pierce Whitfield can’t believe his luck when he’s able to track down the woman who scratched up the paint job on his car at the scene of the crime. But when he confronts the hit and run hottie, he discovers there’s not just one, but two of them, and he’s been throwing accusations at the wrong twin.As repair costs are negotiated, and the chemistry between them flares, Rian and Pierce find out they have more than mutual attraction in common. They’re both vying for the same pieces of prime real estate in The Hamptons and neither one plans to give up without a fight.Can these passionate rivals turn up the heat on their budding romance—without burning down the house?
I Followed The Rules
by Joanna BolouriCatriona Buchanan, a thirty-six-year-old journalist and single mother, lives a quiet life in Glasgow with her daughter Grace. Single for six years but for a handful of failed relationships with all the wrong men and a string of one-night stands, Cat decides she's had enough of her homegrown efforts to find love. Instead, she purchases the infamous dating bible The Ten Rules of Enticement, and vows to obey its advice to the letter and chronicle her experiences.The novel follows Cat as she tries to discount everything she thought she knew about the dating world in her quest to become the kind of woman men desire to be with. Eventually, as her efforts are rewarded and she nets not one but two viable new love interests, Cat must decide whether pretending to be someone she's not is worth the payoff of having a man in love with her for all the wrong reasons.
I Followed the Rules: a laugh-out-loud romcom you won't be able to put down!
by Joanna BolouriMy friends think I'm insane, I'm stalking men all over town, and I'm on a deadline. High-flying journalist Cat Buchanan has been single for six years. So she's sceptical when assigned to write a story on The Rules of Engagement, a book which promises to teach women how to find the man of their dreams in ten easy steps. As far as Cat's concerned, the book belongs in 1892, but she's promised to follow it to the letter. After all, what does she have to lose by playing love at its own game? 'If you hear someone snorting beside the pool this summer, they'll reading this' Grazia
I Followed the Rules: a laugh-out-loud romcom you won't be able to put down!
by Joanna BolouriMy friends think I'm insane, I'm stalking men all over town, and I'm on a deadline. High-flying journalist Cat Buchanan has been single for six years. So she's sceptical when assigned to write a story on The Rules of Engagement, a book which promises to teach women how to find the man of their dreams in ten easy steps. As far as Cat's concerned, the book belongs in 1892, but she's promised to follow it to the letter. After all, what does she have to lose by playing love at its own game? 'If you hear someone snorting beside the pool this summer, they'll reading this' Grazia
I Followed the Rules: a laugh-out-loud romcom you won't be able to put down!
by Joanna BolouriMy friends think I'm insane, I'm stalking men all over town, and I'm on a deadline. High-flying journalist Cat Buchanan has been single for six years. So she's sceptical when assigned to write a story on The Rules of Engagement, a book which promises to teach women how to find the man of their dreams in ten easy steps. As far as Cat's concerned, the book belongs in 1892, but she's promised to follow it to the letter. After all, what does she have to lose by playing love at its own game?'If you hear someone snorting beside the pool this summer, they'll reading this' Grazia (P)2015 WF Howes Ltd
I Found A Kitty!
by Troy CummingsIt doesn't get any cuter! This sequel to the New York Times bestseller Can I Be Your Dog? (which appeared on the TODAY show) has Arfy the dog trying to find a forever home for an abandoned kitten!Lucky dog Arfy has a home. When he discovers a homeless kitten, Arfy hopes Scamper can come live with him, but--achoo!--his person is allergic to cats! So, Arfy writes persuasive letters to prospective owners about what a great pet Scamper would make. But somehow these matches aren't made in heaven. If Scamper can't live with any of them, where will he go? He needs a quiet home where he could make people as happy as they'll make him, full of laps, pats and purrs, and yarn balls....Arfy thinks he knows just the place!! Another winning, heart-tugging story that's perfect for cat lovers, dog lovers, and pet adoption advocates. Troy Cummings writes a great read aloud, and the book showcases many styles of letters, making it appealing to parents and teachers looking to teach the lost art of written communication. Helpful tips in the backmatter inform children how they can help the plight of homeless animals. Praise for Can I Be Your Dog?: "It's an instant classic in our household." --#1 New York Times bestselling author Sarah J. Maas
I Funny TV: A Middle School Story (I Funny #4)
by James Patterson Chris Grabenstein Laura ParkJamie Grimm has hit the big time in book four of the #1 bestselling I Funny series! Jamie Grimm has finally accomplished his dream of proving himself the Planet's Funniest Kid Comic, and the sky's the limit from there. Enter a couple of TV executives with a huge plan for Jamie: a new show about Jamie and his oddball friends! But when Jamie struggles to learn the acting ropes, will it be an early curtain call for the biggest show of the decade?
I Funny: A Middle School Story (I Funny #1)
by James Patterson Chris Grabenstein#1 bestselling author James Patterson doles out the laughs in the first book in the hit series! Middle-schooler Jamie Grimm faces bullies and self-doubt as he chases his dream of becoming the world&’s greatest comedian Jamie Grimm is a middle schooler on a mission: he wants to become the world's greatest standup comedian--even if he doesn't have a lot to laugh about these days. He's new in town and stuck living with his aunt, uncle, and their evil son Stevie, a bully who doesn't let Jamie's wheelchair stop him from messing with Jamie as much as possible. But Jamie doesn't let his situation get him down. When his Uncle Frankie mentions a contest called The Planet's Funniest Kid Comic, Jamie knows he has to enter. But are the judges only rewarding him out of pity because of his wheelchair, like Stevie suggests? Will Jamie ever share the secret of his troubled past instead of hiding behind his comedy act? Prepare to laugh and cheer along with Jamie in this highly-illustrated, heartfelt middle school story.
I Funny: School of Laughs (I Funny #5)
by James PattersonTo save his school library, Jamie Grimm teaches other kids how to tell jokes in a comedy class -- but it's tougher than he expects in this funny book for kids of all ages.Teaching other kids how to be funny is the toughest gig that Jamie Grimm has ever had, and with the highest stakes. If he fails, his school library will be shut down for good!Even though he has a national contest trophy and a TV show under his belt, Jamie Grimm isn't one to sit back and relax. When his school has a major funding crisis, Jamie hits on a bright idea to save the day -- a comedy class for the other students. Little does he know that making jokes and teaching jokes are two very different things . . . and he's only good at one of them. With the fate of his school's library on his shoulders, Jamie has to dig deep to see if he has what it takes to succeed at his most difficult challenge yet.