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I Know You Got Soul

by Jeremy Clarkson

In I Know You Got Soul, Jeremy Clarkson writes about the machines that he believes have 'soul'. It will come as no surprise to anyone that Jeremy Clarkson loves machines. But it's not just any old bucket of blots, cogs and bearings that rings his bell. In fact, he's scoured the length and breadth of the land, plunged into the oceans and taken to the skies in search of machines with that elusive certain something.And along the way he's discovered:* The safest place to be in the event of nuclear war* Who would win if Superman, James Bond and The Terminator had a fight* The stupidest person he's ever met* What an old Cornish institution called Arthur has to do with 0898chat lines* And how Jean Claude Van Damme might get eaten by a lion . . .In I Know You Got Soul, Jeremy Clarkson tells stories of the geniuses, innovators and crackpots who put the ghost in the machine. From Brunel's SS Great Britain to the awesome Blackbird spy-plane and from the woeful - but inspiring - Graf Zeppelin to Han Solo's Millennium Falcon, they can't help but love them in return.Praise for Jeremy Clarkson:'Brilliant . . . laugh-out-loud' Daily Telegraph'Outrageously funny . . . will have you in stitches' Time Out'Very funny . . . I cracked up laughing on the tube' Evening Standard

I Know a Shy Fellow Who Swallowed a Cello

by Barbara S. Garriel

Perfect for any young reader interested in music, families who love music, and a must-have staple for music classrooms, this funny picture book is an amusing introduction to the instruments in an orchestra, featuring clever rhymes and whimsical illustrations. Meet a shy fellow! He&’s hard to notice, but he&’s right at the side of the room listening to a duet for cello and viola. But look again -- our shy fellow suddenly has an urge to swallow a HUGE cello, which is precisely what he does. And he doesn't stop there! He also swallows a harp, a saxophone, and a fiddle while trying to satisfy his voracious appetite for musical instruments. But when he swallows a teensy, tiny, little bitty bell, you won&’t believe what happens! In this take-off on a classic children&’s song, kids will laugh out loud and learn all about musical instruments with this story that&’s a melodious mix of fun and frivolity.

I Know an Old Lady

by Edward Miller

Learn about animals and meet an elderly woman with a peculiar palate in this delightfully illustrated, absurd, modern twist on a classic song.An updated and slightly different take on the classic folk song &“There Was an Old Lady Who Swallowed a Fly&”—with a new, kid-friendly ending—I Know an Old Lady is a humorous picture book for children featuring the iconic old lady that can&’t stop eating the strangest things! With memorable lyrics and absurd illustrations, watch as the old lady&’s stomach fills up with bizarre objects, from a small fly all the way up to a horse. This silly children&’s book of a timeless tale will delight both kids and parents alike!This is a fixed-format ebook, which preserves the design and layout of the original print book

I Like It Here at School

by Jack Prelutsky

If you wish you could Go to school every day Or if you'd rather Stay outside and play These poems will tickle your funny bone. You won't be able to leave it alone Here are 26 poems all about school from homework to tests, globes to books, recess to gym class and show and tell to substitute teachers. You'll love this book. It will even make your teachers laugh! Some pictures are described.

I Like Old Clothes

by Mary Ann Hoberman Patrice Barton

I like old clothes, / Hand-me-down clothes, / Worn outgrown clothes, / Not-my-own clothes. . . . Originally published by Knopf in 1976 (with illustrations by Jacqueline Chwast), this poem--an exuberant celebration of hand-me-down clothes--is just as relevant and accessible today as it was over 30 years ago. Children's Poet Laureate Mary Ann Hoberman offers a bouncy, fun-to-read-aloud text and a refreshingly agreeable, resourceful protagonist who likes old clothes for their "history" and "mystery." Illustrator Patrice Barton brings new, contemporary life to the poem, with an adorable little girl and her younger brother playing dress-up, making crafts, and happily treasuring their hand-me-downs.

I Like You Just the Way I Am: Stories About Me and Some Other People

by Jenny Mollen

A New York Times Best Seller!By the actress, writer, and one of the funniest women on Twitter, an outrageous, hysterical memoir of acting on impulse, plotting elaborate hoaxes, and refusing to acknowledge boundaries in any formJenny Mollen is an actress and writer living in Los Angeles. She is also a wife, married to a famous guy (which is annoying only because he gets free shit and she doesn't). She doesn't want much from life. Just to be loved—by everybody: her parents, her dogs, her ex-boyfriends, her ex-boyfriends' dogs, her husband, her husband's ex-girlfriends, her husband's ex-girlfriend's new boyfriends, etc. Some people might call that impulse crazy, but isn't "crazy" really just a word boring people use to describe fun people? (And Jenny is really, really fun, you guys!) In these pages, you'll find stories of Jenny at her most genuine, whether it's stalking her therapist (because he knows everything about her so shouldn't she get to know everything about him?); throwing a bachelorette party so bad that one of the guests is suspected dead; or answering the eternal question, Would your best friend blow your husband on a car ride to dinner if she didn't know you were hiding in the backseat?I Like You Just the Way I Am is about not doing the right thing—about indulging your inner crazy-person. It is Jenny when she's not trying to impress anyone or come across as a responsible, level-headed member of society. With any luck it will make you better acquainted with who you really are and what you really want. Which, let's be honest, is most likely someone else's email password.

I Live In Your Basement (Goosebumps #61)

by R. L. Stine

"Don't do this! Watch out for that!" Marco's mom thinks the whole world is a danger zone. She won't even let Marco play softball.But Marco just wants to have fun. So he sneaks off to a game. And that's when it happens. He gets hit in the head with a baseball bat.Now things are getting really fuzzy. Really scary. Because when Marco gets home he gets the strangest call. From someone who says he lives in Marco's basement...

I Lost Everything in the Post-Natal Depression

by Erma Bombeck

Erma Bombeck has learned a few things about children and family over the years--and in a way that is uniquely and wonderfully her own, she shares everything she knows with her readers. Whether it's cleaning up after the kids and him, or expendable mothers-in-law, Erma Bombeck gets to the heart of the matter and makes us laugh through our tears.From the Trade Paperback edition.

I Lost My Girlish Laughter

by Jane Allen

A lost literary gem of Hollywood in the 1930s, I Lost My Girlish Laughter is a thinly veiled send-up of the actors, producers, writers, and directors of the Golden Age of the studio system.Madge Lawrence, fresh from New York City, lands a job as the personal secretary to the powerful Hollywood producer Sidney Brand (based on the legendary David O. Selznick). In a series of letters home, Western Union telegrams, office memos, Hollywood gossip newspaper items, and personal journal entries, we get served up the inside scoop on all the shenanigans, romances, backroom deals, and betrayals that go into making a movie. The action revolves around the production of Brand's latest blockbuster, meant to be a star vehicle to introduce his new European bombshell (the real-life Marlene Dietrich). Nevermind that the actress can't act, Brands' negotiations with MGM to get Clark Gable to play the male lead are getting nowhere, and the Broadway play he's bought for the screenplay is reworked so that it is unrecognizable to its author. In this delicious satire of the film business, one is never very far from the truth of what makes Hollywood tick and why we all love it.

I Lost My Grandfather's Brain

by Bruce Coville

Some kids lose their math book, or their sneakers, or their lunch. Pleskit Meenom, first alien kid to go to school on Earth, has a bigger problem: He's lost his grandfather's brain!

I Love Geeks

by Carrie Tucker

There's no doubt about it. While they may be stuck inside all day playing video games, or spending their extra money on rare editions of comic books (er, graphic novels) - geeks are chic. And why shouldn't they be? Geeks (along with their close friends, dorks and nerds) run the world, they're loyal as hell, and their extreme passions are fascinating. So how can women make them as passionate for their girlfriends as they are forStar Wars? Self-proclaimed geek and geek-lover Carrie Tucker expertly guides women into nerddom by categorizing and exposing men by their different geeky obsessions. Complete with a glossary for technical jargon, helpful quotes from geek-perts, and illustrations of each nerd niche, Tucker will help women bring a relationship with a geek from ?in a galaxy far, far away? into reality.

I Love Geeks

by Carrie Tucker

There's no doubt about it. While they may be stuck inside all day playing video games, or spending their extra money on rare editions of comic books (er, graphic novels) - geeks are chic. And why shouldn't they be? Geeks (along with their close friends, dorks and nerds) run the world, they're loyal as hell, and their extreme passions are fascinating. So how can women make them as passionate for their girlfriends as they are for Star Wars? Self-proclaimed geek and geek-lover Carrie Tucker expertly guides women into nerddom by categorizing and exposing men by their different geeky obsessions. Complete with a glossary for technical jargon, helpful quotes from geek-perts, and illustrations of each nerd niche, Tucker will help women bring a relationship with a geek from "in a galaxy far, far away" into reality.

I Love Geeks: The Official Handbook

by Carrie Tucker

There’s no doubt about it. While they may be stuck inside all day playing video games, or spending their extra money on rare editions of comic books (er, graphic novels) - geeks are chic. And why shouldn’t they be? Geeks (along with their close friends, dorks and nerds) run the world, they’re loyal as hell, and their extreme passions are fascinating. So how can women make them as passionate for their girlfriends as they are for Star Wars? Self-proclaimed geek and geek-lover Carrie Tucker expertly guides women into nerddom by categorizing and exposing men by their different geeky obsessions. Complete with a glossary for technical jargon, helpful quotes from geek-perts, and illustrations of each nerd niche, Tucker will help women bring a relationship with a geek from “in a galaxy far, far away” into reality.

I Love My Computer Because My Friends Live in It: Stories from an Online Life

by Jess Kimball Leslie

I Love My Computer Because My Friends Live in It is tech analyst Jess Kimball Leslie's hilarious, frank homage to the technology that contributed so significantly to the person she is today. From accounts of the lawless chat rooms of early AOL to the perpetual high school reunions that are modern-day Facebook and Instagram, her essays paint a clear picture: That all of us have a much more twisted, meaningful, emotional relationship with the online world than we realize or let on. Coming of age in suburban Connecticut in the late '80s and early '90s, Jess looked to the nascent Internet to find the tribes she couldn't find IRL: fellow Bette Midler fans; women who seemed impossibly sure of their sexuality; people who worked with computers every day as part of their actual jobs without being ridiculed as nerds. It's in large part because of her embrace of an online life that Jess is where she is now, happily married, with a wife, son, and dog, and making a living of analyzing Internet trends and forecasting the future of tech. She bets most people would credit technology for many of their successes, too, if they could only shed the notion that it's as a mind-numbing drug on which we're all overdosing.

I Love Pink! (Step into Reading)

by Frances Gilbert

A girl shares her love for all things PINK—pink clothes, pink pillows, pink pets?—in this imaginative early reader. Fans of Pinkalicious will relate! A little girl wishes everything in her world could be pink . . . including her dog, her cat, and her hamster. Wait! How will she ever find her pink pets in her all-pink bedroom? This simple story perfectly—and humorously—illustrates the old adage &“Be careful what you wish for!&” Step 1 Readers feature big type and easy words for children who know the alphabet and are eager to begin reading. Rhyme and rhythmic text paired with picture clues help children decode the story.Young readers will LOVE the other I LOVE books in this series!I Love My Tutu!I Love My Grandma!I Love Cake!I Love My Teacher!

I Love Sharks, Too!

by Leanne Shirtliffe Lorenzo Montatore

Stevie likes sharks. Like a LOT. In response to everything his mom asks him, Stevie has an excellent shark fact in response."Brush your teeth, Stevie.”"Mom, Mako sharks don’t have to brush their teeth because they are covered in fluoride.” From morning to bedtime—you would think this might totally wear his mom down. But guess who likes, sharks, too? The book is filled with tons of fun facts, and also information about different shark breeds.

I Love You Already!

by Jory John

From the award-winning creators of Goodnight Already!, Come Home Already!, and All Right Already!Bear can't wait to spend a pleasant day by himself. But his persistent next-door neighbor, Duck, wants to take a morning stroll . . . with Bear. He just wants Bear to like him already. . . Jory John, author of Penguin Problems and The Bad Seed, and Benji Davies, creator of The Storm Whale, join together again to bring us this standout hilarious story of unrequited admiration that will leave children laughing at every page. Perfect for Valentine’s Day or any story time!

I Love You More Than You Know

by Jonathan Ames

Jonathan Ames has drawn comparisons across the literary spectrum, from David Sedaris to F. Scott Fitzgerald to Woody Allen to P.G. Wodehouse, and his books, as well as his abilities as a performer, have made him a favorite on 'the Late Show with David Letterman'. Whether he's chasing deranged cockroaches around his apartment, kissing a beautiful actress on the set of an avant-garde film, finding himself stuck perilously on top of a fence in Memphis in the middle of the night, or provoking fights with huge German men, Jonathan Ames has an uncanny knack for getting himself into outlandish situations. In his latest collection, "I Love You More Than You Know", Ames proves once again his immense talent for turning his own adventures, neuroses, joys, heartaches, and insights into profound and hilarious tales. Alive with love and tenderness for his son, his parents, his great-aunt and even strangers in bars late at night in "I Love You More Than You Know" Ames looks beneath the surface of our world to find the beauty in the perverse, the sweetness in loneliness, and the humor in pain.

I Love You S'more

by Auriane Desombre

A sapphic rival-to-lovers story about two counselors who find an unexpected romance during a summer they will never forget! Perfect for fans of Auriane Desombre''s beloved debut I Think I Love You. Ivy Raines needs camp for an escape like she did as a child. After going through a very public breakup with her first girlfriend and teen TV show mega star, she wants nothing more than a summer of sunshine, friends and s'mores as newest counselor. But when she signs up to run the camp's musical production she soon finds herself in a rivalry she didn't see coming with the co-director, Rynn. She's bossy and thinks she knows everything because she's been most experienced counselor. Worse, it's a girl Ivy had a falling out with when she was younger. It's the last thing Ivy needs while going through a breakup but as tension between them builds, sparks begin to fly brighter than a campfire. As the days get hotter, will Ivy discover she can still have the summer escape she needed after all...in the way her heart has always wanted?

I Love You So Mochi

by Sarah Kuhn

Perfect for fans of Jenny Han and Kasie West, I Love You So Mochi is a delightfully sweet and irrepressibly funny novel from accomplished author Sarah Kuhn."As sweet and satisfying as actual mochi... a tender love story wrapped up in food, fashion, and family. I gobbled it up." -- Maurene Goo, author of The Way You Make Me FeelKimi Nakamura loves a good fashion statement.She's obsessed with transforming everyday ephemera into Kimi Originals: bold outfits that make her and her friends feel like the Ultimate versions of themselves. But her mother disapproves, and when they get into an explosive fight, Kimi's entire future seems on the verge of falling apart. So when a surprise letter comes in the mail from Kimi's estranged grandparents, inviting her to Kyoto for spring break, she seizes the opportunity to get away from the disaster of her life.When she arrives in Japan, she's met with a culture both familiar and completely foreign to her. She loses herself in the city's outdoor markets, art installations, and cherry blossom festival -- and meets Akira, a cute aspiring med student who moonlights as a costumed mochi mascot. And what begins as a trip to escape her problems quickly becomes a way for Kimi to learn more about the mother she left behind, and to figure out where her own heart lies.In I Love You So Mochi, author Sarah Kuhn has penned a delightfully sweet and irrepressibly funny novel that will make you squee at the cute, cringe at the awkward, and show that sometimes you have to lose yourself in something you love to find your Ultimate self.

I Love You Subject to the Following Terms and Conditions: A Contract Killers Novel (The Contract Killers Novels)

by Erin Lyon

In a world where marriage doesn’t exist—only seven-year contracts—you don’t marry, you sign. You don’t divorce, you breach. And sometimes, you just expire.Kate is struggling to find her footing. She gave up a career she hated to pursue the law, and now she’s buried in debt and unemployed. At least she’s signed to an amazing guy—hot, sweet, and committed. Enter the contract killer, the man who pursues only signed women. No commitment, no hassle, all the fun. But Kate has enough fun on her plate… until her partner doesn’t re-up their contract.After an epic but well-deserved meltdown, Kate gets practical. She accepts a job with her uncle’s law firm, practicing signing law—the one type of law she swore she’d never do. And the contract killer? Now that Kate is single, she’s no longer his type, but he still wants to be friends. Yeah, that’ll work. Kate may be heartbroken, but she’s not impervious to this sexy, smart, and complex man. But hey, it looks like he may not be impervious to her either—signed or not. With biting wit and charm, I Love You Subject to the Following Terms and Conditions is hilariously relatable, for the millennial set.At the Publisher's request, this title is being sold without Digital Rights Management Software (DRM) applied.

I Love You with All My Butt!: An Illustrated Book of Big Thoughts from Little Kids

by Martin Bruckner

We just can&’t get enough of the funny stuff kids say. We share our own children&’s gems with friends and family. If we&’re smart, we write down these scraps of accidental poetry. And we turn them into books. Martin Bruckner is an artist and father who not only recorded the sayings of his daughter, Harper, but used each as the inspiration for a work of art. After posting them on social media, Bruckner became the artist that other parents sought out to transform their own children&’s funny words into artwork. Collected here are 100 mini-posters of pure delight, a marriage of the children&’s surprising wisdom and the artist&’s nimble style, plus the occasional backstory that amplifies both. Every parent will recognize the spirited declarations of personality—&“I&’m training to be a wolf.&” The endearing mangling of language—&“Mommy, I don&’t need your mouth to talk to me right now.&” The creative mixing of metaphors—&“I need a tissue to wipe my feelings.&” Those precious, heartbreaking outbursts without guile or filters—&“I only love you at the toy store.&” Illustrated with sweetness and whimsy, each is a window into the irresistible innocence of childhood, even if the sentiment is &“Dad, please wipe the bum of this beautiful princess.&”

I Love You, Beth Cooper: A Novel

by Larry Doyle

Denis Cooverman wanted to say something really important in his high school graduation speech. So, in front of his 512 classmates and their 3,000 relatives, he announced: "I love you, Beth Cooper."It would have been such a sweet, romantic moment. Except that Beth, the head cheerleader, has only the vaguest idea who Denis is. And Denis, the captain of the debate team, is so far out of her league he is barely even the same species. And then there's Kevin, Beth's remarkably large boyfriend, who's in town on furlough from the United States Army. Complications ensue.

I Love You, I Hate You: All's fair in love and law in this irresistible enemies-to-lovers rom-com!

by Elizabeth Davis

'Everything you love about romantic comedy - hilarious, sharply observed, smart, and sexy as hell. I adored this book!' Rachel Hawkins, New York Times bestselling author'Smart, sexy, and feminist, I Love You, I Hate You is a delightful love letter to internet friends and Nora Ephron. Elizabeth Davis just became an auto-buy author for me' Annette Christie'Complete You've Got Mail magic! Davis's humor made this steamy, feisty rom-com a delight to read . . . a must read for fans of Nora Ephron rom-coms!' Denise WilliamsAll's fair in love and law... You've Got Mail meets Dating You/Hating You by Christina Lauren and The Hating Game by Sally Thorne in this sizzling rom-com debut - readers love it! 'A five-star read . . . the best read of the year, if you like your rom coms witty and sweet then you need this story in your life' 5* reader review'Elizabeth Davis's way of writing romance is perfect . . . Amazing characters and writing, 5/5 stars!' 5* reader review'Everything I wanted and more! Their chemistry was perfect . . . If only I could go back in time and read this book for the first time again' 5* reader review.........................................................................................................Victoria and Owen are bitter rivals.Nora and Luke are friends online.Who would believe these two couples have anything in common?Of all the decisions brilliant lawyer Victoria Clemenceaux has made in her life, an unforgettable one-night stand with her opposing counsel Owen Pohl is either the worst...or the best. One thing is certain: these long-standing rivals aren't going to let their searing attraction stop them from winning the biggest case of their careers. Thankfully Victoria and Owen have someone to vent to about their nemeses. But they have no idea that their online 'friends', Nora and Luke, are the very people they hate in real life. As Nora and Luke grow closer online, and Victoria and Owen find their undeniable attraction harder to resist, the lines between love and hate blur. When the truth comes out, will their online chemistry work in the real world, or will their constant rivalry sever their connection?.........................................................................................................Raves for I Love You, I Hate You'This book made my heart sing . . . There's such tenderness and passion and LIFE . . . Go buy this book immediately''So good that I devoured the whole book in one sitting''You know when you find a book you love so much you accidentally stay up until well after 2am to finish it in one sitting? . . . That's this book!. . . A fun, fast paced debut romance that I could read again and again'

I Love You, I Hate You: All's fair in love and law in this irresistible enemies-to-lovers rom-com!

by Elizabeth Davis

'Everything you love about romantic comedy - hilarious, sharply observed, smart, and sexy as hell. I adored this book!' Rachel Hawkins, New York Times bestselling author'Smart, sexy, and feminist, I Love You, I Hate You is a delightful love letter to internet friends and Nora Ephron. Elizabeth Davis just became an auto-buy author for me' Annette Christie'Complete You've Got Mail magic! Davis's humor made this steamy, feisty rom-com a delight to read . . . a must read for fans of Nora Ephron rom-coms!' Denise WilliamsAll's fair in love and law . . . You've Got Mail meets Dating You/Hating You by Christina Lauren and The Hating Game by Sally Thorne in this sizzling rom-com - readers love it! 'A five-star read . . . the best read of the year, if you like your rom coms witty and sweet then you need this story in your life' ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ reader review'Elizabeth Davis's way of writing romance is perfect . . . Amazing characters and writing, 5/5 stars!' ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ reader review'Everything I wanted and more! Their chemistry was perfect . . . If only I could go back in time and read this book for the first time again' ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ reader review.........................................................................................................Victoria and Owen are bitter rivals.Nora and Luke are friends online.Who would believe these two couples have anything in common?Of all the decisions brilliant lawyer Victoria Clemenceaux has made in her life, an unforgettable one-night stand with her opposing counsel Owen Pohl is either the worst...or the best. One thing is certain: these long-standing rivals aren't going to let their searing attraction stop them from winning the biggest case of their careers. Thankfully Victoria and Owen have someone to vent to about their nemeses. But they have no idea that their online 'friends', Nora and Luke, are the very people they hate in real life. As Nora and Luke grow closer online, and Victoria and Owen find their undeniable attraction harder to resist, the lines between love and hate blur. When the truth comes out, will their online chemistry work in the real world, or will their constant rivalry sever their connection?.........................................................................................................Raves for I Love You, I Hate You!'This book made my heart sing . . . There's such tenderness and passion and LIFE . . . Go buy this book immediately''So good that I devoured the whole book in one sitting''You know when you find a book you love so much you accidentally stay up until well after 2am to finish it in one sitting? . . . That's this book!. . . A fun, fast-paced debut romance that I could read again and again'

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