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How to Survive Middle School and Monster Bots (A Howard Boward Book)
by Ron BatesSometimes, being smart just isn’t enough It’s been a rough semester for Howard Boward, science genius. Not only is he having to dodge winter’s most feared weapon (snowballs), his close friend, Winnie McKinney, is barely speaking to him. If that weren’t enough, he’s the favorite target of some bullies who seem determined to make life at Dolley Madison Middle School as miserable as possible. But then Howard learns about an upcoming robot-building contest—finally a chance to show off his science skills and beat archrival Gerald “G-Force” Forster! Unfortunately, the only way to win is by using his secret “monster goo,” a formula that has terrifying side effects. Can Howard resist the temptation? Or will he unleash a robot rampage that could destroy the town—and ruin the school dance?
How to Survive Old Age: Tongue-In-Cheek Advice and Cheeky Illustrations about Getting Older
by Clive Whichelow Mike HaskinsBe yourself and wear your wrinkles proudly with the help of this humorous collection of observations and illustrations on how to survive old age. For years, you wanted to be treated like a proper adult, but now you’re on a downhill slippery slope to a grand old age and you can’t seem to find the brakes. You need expert survival advice, such as: Don’t call anyone under 40 “young man” or “young lady”.Do remember where your glasses, keys and wallet are to avoid raised eyebrows from family members.Don’t wear a tartan rug over your knees on a car journey.Do make an effort to learn all the songs in the top ten. This mischievous little book will help you enjoy your latter years without worrying about what anyone else thinks. After all, the best things in life are old: vintage wine, golden oldies – you’re now part of an elite club. Enjoy!
How to Survive Retirement
by Clive Whichelow Mike HaskinsFreedom at last! But there’s an awfully long time between cornflakes and cocoa, and a limit to how many sudokus you can do. You need survival skills: FINANCIAL WIZARDRY: how to get three cups of tea out of one bag. SPARKLING CONVERSATION: 300 different ways to discuss the weather. This mischievous little book will help you enjoy your golden years with tongue-in-cheek advice and cheeky illustrations.
How to Survive Retirement
by Clive Whichelow Mike HaskinsFreedom at last! But there’s an awfully long time between cornflakes and cocoa, and a limit to how many sudokus you can do. You need survival skills: FINANCIAL WIZARDRY: how to get three cups of tea out of one bag. SPARKLING CONVERSATION: 300 different ways to discuss the weather. This mischievous little book will help you enjoy your golden years with tongue-in-cheek advice and cheeky illustrations.
How to Survive The Future (How to Survive #3)
by Larry HayesGet ready for a hilarious out-of-this-world adventure for readers aged 8+ – this is the perfect new series for fans of Tom Gates, Andy Griffiths and Star Wars! Illustrated throughout by the brilliantly funny Katie Abey. *PRE-ORDER NOW!* It&’s the year 2525, and things aren&’t looking great for Planet Earth. An endless night is coming – a super-advanced alien spaceship has stopped the world from turning, threatening the existence of every creature on the planet – and it turns out that ten-year-old Eliza Lemon is the only one who can save them! Will she be able to handle alien overlords, a doughnut-shaped spaceship, monkeys and vampire finches? And, most importantly of all, will she be able to rescue her baby brother, save the world and survive THE FUTURE?For more out-of-this-world fun don't forget to read about Eliza and Johnnie's first two adventures in How to Survive Without Grown-Ups and How to Survive Time Travel. Out now!
How to Survive Time Travel (How to Survive #2)
by Larry HayesLift off in the hilarious edge-of-your-seat adventure series that is a home alone story with a difference! Written by the inimitable Larry Hayes and hilariously illustrated by Katie Abey, this is the perfect read for fans of David Solomons, Tom Gates and Back to the Future! Fresh from saving their parents from the jaws of frenzied billionaire Mr Noah, ten-year-old Eliza and her genius little brother, Johnnie, are called upon once again. Their parents have disappeared into thin air and it&’s up to the kids to save the day, travelling back in time to 5000 BC Egypt! Can they overcome friendly locals, a mysterious boy-god, snakes, a rainbow-coloured Sphinx and another plot to end the world? And – most importantly of all – will they survive TIME TRAVEL? For more out-of-this-world adventure don't forget to read about Eliza and Johnnie's first adventure in How to Survive Without Grown-Ups. Out now!
How to Survive University
by Clive Whichelow Mike HaskinsAt last, no more parents! But who’s going to do your washing, and bail you out when you’re short of cash? Hmm, you’re going to need survival skills. This mischievous little book will help you see through your university years with tongue-in-cheek advice and cheeky illustrations.
How to Survive University
by Clive Whichelow Mike HaskinsAt last, no more parents! But who’s going to do your washing, and bail you out when you’re short of cash? Hmm, you’re going to need survival skills. This mischievous little book will help you see through your university years with tongue-in-cheek advice and cheeky illustrations.
How to Survive University: An Essential Pocket Guide
by Tamsin KingWhether your passion is society life, studying or shots, your university experience will hold both new adventures and fresh challenges. This guide is packed with tips to help you survive and thrive at uni, from pulling an all-nighter in the library to an all-nighter at the club.
How to Survive University: An Essential Pocket Guide
by Tamsin KingWhether your passion is society life, studying or shots, your university experience will hold both new adventures and fresh challenges. This guide is packed with tips to help you survive and thrive at uni, from pulling an all-nighter in the library to an all-nighter at the club.
How to Survive Without Grown-Ups (How to Survive #1)
by Larry HayesGet set for the new hilarious out-of-this-world adventure series for readers aged 8+ – this is the perfect new series for fans of Tom Gates, David Solomons and Star Wars! Highly illustrated throughout by the brilliantly funny Katie Abey. Mum and Dad have left – gone to Mars, and they&’re never coming back . . . FREEDOM AT LAST! But this isn&’t one of Dad&’s weird jokes; it&’s REAL. It&’s up to ten-year-old Eliza and her genius little brother, Johnnie, to find out what&’s going on, and launch a rescue . . . Can they handle vampire squids, a suspicious villain, a secret island full of traps and a trip into space? And – more importantly – will they ever get their parents back? The funniest, zaniest, most out-of-this-world adventure you&’ll read all year!
How to Survive a Fairy Bargain: A Laugh-Out-Loud Fairytale What-If (Fairies and Familiars #2)
by Laura J. MayoTheodosia&’s already survived being the evil stepsister in one fairy tale, but surviving fae bargains, fairy rings, and being turned into a hedgehog will be a whole new challenge in this hilarious sequel to Laura Mayo&’s How to Summon a Fairy Godmother. Theodosia Balfour is in a panic—she has no clue how to handle her new life as a fairy&’s familiar. She just can&’t seem to find her place in Cecily&’s land of decadence, doublespeak, and whimsy. Moreover, Theo can&’t stop thinking about Kasra, Cecily&’s last familiar who is now living a cozy human life without any memories of his time in a fairy&’s service. All she wants is to tell Kaz how she feels about him, but that&’s impossible now. Then suddenly, the regent of the fairy kingdom reveals a secret that shocks Theo to her core and thrusts her into the role of detective to solve a thousand-year-old royal assassination attempt. With time running out to catch the would-be assassin, Theo can rely on only her own wits and unique charm to discover what&’s really going on.
How to Survive a Horror Movie: All the Skills to Dodge the Kills
by Seth Grahame-SmithBe Afraid. Be Very Afraid. From ghosts, vampires, and zombies to serial killers, cannibalistic hillbillies, and haunted Japanese videocassettes, How to Survive a Horror Movie shows how to defeat every obstacle found in scary films. Readers will discover: * How to Perform an Exorcism * What to Do If You Did Something Last Summer * How to Persuade the Skeptical Local Sheriff * How to Vanquish a Murderous Doll * How to Survive an Alien Invasion * How to Tell If You've Been Dead Since the Beginning of the Movie and much, much more. Complete with useful instructions, insane illustrations, and a list of 100 important films to study, How to Survive a Horror Movie is essential reading for prom queens, jocks, teenage babysitters, and anyone employed by a summer camp. From the Trade Paperback edition.
How to Survive a Human Attack: A Guide for Werewolves, Mummies, Cyborgs, Ghosts, Nuclear Mutants, and Other Movie Monsters
by K. E. FlannDid you know human attacks account for a staggering 100 percent of premature deaths for witches, swamp monsters, cyborgs, and other supernatural, mutant, and exceptionally large beings?The past millennia or so has seen not only an uptick in human attacks, but also increasingly indiscriminate victim selection. It is understandable to feel overwhelmed. From renowned preternaturalist K. E. Flann, How to Survive a Human Attack provides critical information at a critical time with chapters specifically tailored to their target audience, including:· A Zombie&’s Guide to Filling the Emptiness and Moving Forward· First-Time Haunter&’s Guide for Ghosts, Spirits, Poltergeists, Specters, and Wraiths· Self-Training 101 for Werewolves: Sit, Don&’t Speak, Stay Alive!· What&’s Happening to My Body?: Radioactive Mutants and the Safety of the Nuclear Family
How to Survive a Midlife Crisis: Tongue-In-Cheek Advice and Cheeky Illustrations about Being Middle-Aged
by Clive Whichelow Mike HaskinsFinally, you’re a proper grown-up! But between the paunch and the mortgage, you’re starting to wonder if this is what you really want. You need midlife crisis survival skills. This mischievous little book will help you enjoy your second youth with tongue-in-cheek advice and cheeky illustrations.
How to Survive a Quarter-Life Crisis: A Comfort Blanket for Twenty-Somethings
by Hattie HamiltonMy 'life goals before 25' when I was 20: mortgage, become an MD or social media sensation, have good hair, have my own sustainable coffee shop, travel to 98 countries.My life goals on the eve of my 25th birthday: afford my rent without getting overdrawn this month, get at least two likes on my Instagram post on my new shoes, remember to pluck nose hairs before work, stop mislaying my refillable coffee cup, visit my parents once a month.Is it just me, or does everyone else have their shit together?Believe me, you’re not alone! If you’re having sleepless nights about your latest social media post, think that you’re a bit of a loser in love, or have a job that you hate (but you need the money and there are no full-time poet positions out there), then this book is your life-jacket and comfort blanket rolled into one sweet package. Learn why you’re not the failure you think you are, and why actually you’re well on your way to being a flawed-but-brilliant grown-up, as this guide helps you navigate your way through the choppy waters of your quarter-life crisis.
How to Survive a Robot Uprising: Tips on Defending Yourself Against the Coming Rebellion
by Daniel H. WilsonHow do you spot a robot mimicking a human? How do you recognize and then deactivate a rebel servant robot? How do you escape a murderous "smart" house, or evade a swarm of marauding robotic flies? In this dryly hilarious survival guide, roboticist Daniel H. Wilson teaches worried humans the keys to quashing a robot mutiny. From treating laser wounds to fooling face and speech recognition, besting robot logic to engaging in hand-to-pincer combat, How to Survive a Robot Uprising covers every possible doomsday scenario facing the newest endangered species: humans. And with its thorough overview of current robot prototypes-including giant walkers, insect, gecko, and snake robots-How to Survive a Robot Uprising is also a witty yet legitimate introduction to contemporary robotics. Full of charming illustrations, and referencing some of the most famous robots in pop-culture, How to Survive a Robot Uprising is a one-of-a-kind book that is sure to be a hit with all ages.
How to Survive a Sharknado and Other Unnatural Disasters
by Andrew ShafferSharks Are Flying at Your Head at 300 mph. How Will You Survive? In the apocalyptic world we live in, Mother Nature is angry. Danger waits at every turn, and catastrophes like the Los Angeles sharknados have taught us that we need to be ready for anything. Too many lives have already been lost. But fear not. How to Survive a Sharknado and Other Unnatural Disasters is the first and only comprehensive guide to surviving the very worst that Mother Nature can throw our way. Inside this life-saving reference, you'll find: * Vital information about dozens of unnatural disasters and ungodly monsters that can injure, maim, or kill you, from arachnoquakes and ice twisters to piranhacondas and mega pythons; * Easy-to-understand survival tips for avoiding a bloody demise; * Inspirational words of wisdom from survivors, including Fin Shepard and April Wexler; * Useful resources, such as the Shepard Survival Assessment Test (S.S.A.T), and much more. With this essential book in hand, you too can be a hero who laughs in the face of calamity while saving friends and family. Or you can just avoid getting savagely ripped apart by a robocroc. Either way, you've been warned. Now be prepared.Sharknado 2: The Second One premieres July 30 at 9/8c on Syfy!From the Trade Paperback edition.
How to Survive the End of the World (When it's in Your Own Head): An Anxiety Survival Guide
by Aaron Gillies'A brilliant and funny read for the apocalyptically-minded' Matt Haig, author of Reasons to Stay Alive'In a sea of books about mental health, it stands out for its humour, wisdom and lightness of touch' Adam Kay, author of This is Going to Hurt'Just the laugh you need for when everything seems terrible' Evening StandardThere are plenty of books out there on how to survive a zombie apocalypse, all-out nuclear war, or Armageddon. But what happens when it feels like the world is ending every single time you wake up? That's what having anxiety is like - and How to Survive the End of the World is here to help. Or at least make you feel like you're not so alone.From helping readers identify the enemy, to safeguarding the vulnerable areas of their lives, Aaron Gillies examines the impact of anxiety, and gives readers some tools to fight back - whether with medication, therapy, CBT, coping techniques or simply with a dark sense of humour.And now more than ever, it's vital to take care of your mental health. How to Survive is full of funny, sweary, actually helpful tips on how to cope during self-isolation, from moving around and keeping your brain box busy to eating a green thing once in a while. These are anxious and uncertain times, but How to Survive the End of the World is here to help you give yourself a break. You deserve it. 'Fast-paced, amusing and insightful' Guardian'I LOVED it' Juno Dawson, author of The Gender Games'Hilarious and deeply insightful' Dean Burnett, author of The Idiot Brain
How to Survive the End of the World (When it's in Your Own Head): An Anxiety Survival Guide
by Aaron Gillies'A brilliant and funny read for the apocalyptically-minded' Matt Haig, author of Reasons to Stay Alive'In a sea of books about mental health, it stands out for its humour, wisdom and lightness of touch' Adam Kay, author of This is Going to Hurt'Just the laugh you need for when everything seems terrible' Evening StandardThere are plenty of books out there on how to survive a zombie apocalypse, all-out nuclear war, or Armageddon. But what happens when it feels like the world is ending every single time you wake up? That's what having anxiety is like - and How to Survive the End of the World is here to help. Or at least make you feel like you're not so alone.From helping readers identify the enemy, to safeguarding the vulnerable areas of their lives, Aaron Gillies examines the impact of anxiety, and gives readers some tools to fight back - whether with medication, therapy, CBT, coping techniques or simply with a dark sense of humour.'Fast-paced, amusing and insightful' Guardian'I LOVED it' Juno Dawson, author of The Gender Games'Hilarious and deeply insightful' Dean Burnett, author of The Idiot Brain(P)2018 Hodder & Stoughton Limited
How to Swear Around the World
by Jason SacherWith this helpful guide, learn to tell people off like a native no matter where you are in the world.An essential phrasebook for the world traveler, How to Swear Around the World features dozens of favorite curses, insults, and sayings from all over the globe. Get rid of a pesky hanger-on in Brazil by telling him to dig for potatoes—vai ceifar batatas. To express disgust toward your brown-nosing German friend, accuse him of being a bicycle-rider—radfahrer, or tell someone off in Laos by letting him know you think his mother enjoys keeping intimate company with dogs—Ma see mea mung! Make new friends and enemies abroad with this handy guide filled with fighting words, scatological expressions, dozens of ways to insult someone’s mother, and many other suitably offensive phrases.Also features phonetic pronunciations and handy illustrations to provide guidance to these colorful exclamations.“As useful as it is hilarious, Sacher’s How to Swear Around the World teaches readers all kinds of vulgar phrases in dozens of different languages. Feel free to call Expedia and curse out their airfare prices using any of the book’s quotes.” —Complex.com
How to Take Over the World: Practical Schemes and Scientific Solutions for the Aspiring Supervillain
by Ryan North&“Comic book fans will fall hard for this delightfully daffy guidebook. . . . Exuberant, optimistic, and just plain fun, How to Take Over the World will both surprise and delight.&” —EsquireA book this informative should be a crime!Taking over the world is a lot of work. Any supervillain is bound to have questions: What&’s the perfect location for a floating secret base? What zany heist will fund my wildly ambitious plans? How do I control the weather, destroy the internet, and never, ever die? Bestselling author and award-winning comics writer Ryan North has the answers. In this introduction to the science of comic-book supervillainy, he details a number of outlandish villainous schemes that harness the potential of today&’s most advanced technologies. Picking up where How to Invent Everything left off, his explanations are as fun and elucidating as they are completely absurd. You don&’t have to be a criminal mastermind to share a supervillain&’s interest in cutting-edge science and technology. This book doesn&’t just reveal how to take over the world—it also shows how you could save it. This sly guide to some of the greatest threats facing humanity accessibly explores emerging techniques to extend human life spans, combat cyberterrorism, communicate across millennia, and finally make Jurassic Park a reality.
How to Take Your Time: from How Proust Can Change Your Life
by Alain De BottonCuriously practical—this no-nonsense blend of literary biography and self-help unravels how interesting life can be if only you could resist the impulse to rush through the mundane rituals of modern life. Every morning, Marcel Proust sipped his two cups of strong coffee with milk, ate a croissant from one boulangerie, dunking it in his coffee as he slowly read the day’s paper with great care—poring over each headline and section. Only Alain de Botton could have pulled so many useful insights from the oeuvre of one the world’s greatest literary masters. Fascinating and vital, How to Take Your Time will urge you to find the wisdom in defying “the self-satisfaction felt by ‘busy’ men—however idiotic their business—at ‘not having time’ to do what you are doing.” A Vintage Shorts Wellness selection. An ebook short.
How to Take the Ex Out of Ex-Boyfriend
by Janette RallisonBoyfriends are supposed to be loyal, caring, and handsome. Giovanna's boyfriend, Jesse, has perfected the last two. But when her twin brother, Dante, runs for student body president, Jesse doesn't support Dante, choosing to campaign for his opponent instead. Shouldn't the fact that Jesse is Giovanna's boyfriend count for something? So Giovanna dumps Jesse and becomes Dante's campaign manager. But as the political debates heat up, Giovanna begins to regret breaking up with Jesse, and realizes that maybe her decision wasn't the political strategy she should have used. . . .
How to Talk Dirty and Influence People: An Autobiography
by Lenny Bruce Lewis Black Howard ReichDuring the course of a career that began in the late 1940s, Lenny Bruce challenged the sanctity of organized religion and other societal and political conventions and widened the boundaries of free speech. Critic Ralph Gleason said, "So many taboos have been lifted and so many comics have rushed through the doors Lenny opened. He utterly changed the world of comedy.” He died in 1966 at the age of 40. His influence on the worlds of comedy, jazz, and satire is incalculable, and How to Talk Dirty and Influence People--now republished to coincide with the 50th anniversary of Lenny Bruce's death--remains a brilliant existential account of his life and the forces that made him the most important and controversial entertainer in history.