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I Want Ice Cream!
by Elisabetta PicaSomeone's definitely screaming for ice cream in this illustrated tale of disappointment, resistance, and acceptance.When a young boy is denied an ice cream cone by his dad, the disappointment he feels is extreme. What begins is a cycle of emotions expressed through color. From sadness (blue), to envy of others with cones of their own (green), to anger (red), and more, his progression through a range of feelings / tactics is both humorous and cathartic to readers experiencing both his pain and the excessiveness of his reaction. Meanwhile, his father's consistent response of a simple "No" serves as its own model of effectiveness in the face of tantrum. The art uses sparse, thick-lined images in black and white paired with a full range of colors, each associated with an emotional response. The simplicity of both the art and text combine to open the door to future referencing and resolving similar real-life situations that stem from hearing the word "No."
I Want My Epidural Back: Adventures in Mediocre Parenting
by Karen AlpertNow that I’m a mom, I know the most painful part isn’t getting something giant through your hooha. It’s having a real live child.If you are the kind of mom who shapes your kiddo’s organic quinoa into reproductions of the Mona Lisa, do not read this book. If you stayed up past midnight to create posters for your PTO presidential campaign, do not read this book. If you look down your nose at parents who have Domino’s pizza on speed dial, do not read this book.But if you are the kind of parent who accidentally goes ballistic on your rugrats every morning because they won’t put their shoes on and then you feel super guilty about it all day so you take them to McDonald’s for a special treat but really it’s because you opened up your freezer and panicked because you forgot to buy more frozen pizzas, then absolutely read this book.I Want My Epidural Back is a celebration of mediocre parents and how awesome they are and how their kids love them just as much as children with perfect parents. Karen Alpert’s honest but hilarious observations, stories, quips and pictures will have you nodding your head and peeing in your pants. Or on the toilet if you’re smart and read it there.
I Want That Nut!
by Madeline ValentineA nutty and clever buddy story that celebrates cooperation, perfect for fans of Duck and Goose. Meet Mouse and Chipmunk, two young rodents who want the same thing—a big, beautiful nut! But who deserves it more? After all, Chipmunk and the Nut read together and lie in the grass and stare at the clouds. Chipmunk wants that nut! And Mouse and the Nut play tic-tac-toe and have a dance party together. Mouse also wants that nut! But then Squirrel comes along and claims the Nut for his own. What&’s a rodent to do? "A winning combination of words and pictures for beginning readers and listeners."--Kirkus, Starred review"While giggling over Mouse and Chipmunk&’s antics, readers will easily relate to the way they vacillate between selfishness and selflessness, and Valentine&’s watercolor forest, awash in browns and greens, is an inviting place to learn about sharing and friendship. Who knew inanimate friends could be so rewarding?"--Publishers Weekly, Starred review"Streamlined text in short big-print sentences with dialogue in speech balloons is friendly to beginning readers as well as readers-aloud, and the flights of fancy into each critter&’s friendship with the nut are highly giggleworthy."--The Bulletin"Expertly drawn and designed to keep the action moving as tails fly off the page. This book quietly introduces the topics of sharing and friendship by example, echoing the voice of young children."--School Library Journal
I Want You to Shut the F#ck Up
by Michael Malice D. L. Hughley"Let us begin by committing ourselves to the truth to see it like it is, and tell it like it is." --Richard Nixon "I believe America is the solution to the world's problems." --Rush Limbaugh "SHUT THE F#CK UP." --D. L. Hughley The American dream is in dire need of a wake-up call. A f*cked up society is like an addict: if you are in denial, then things are going to keep getting worse until you hit bottom. According to D. L. Hughley, that's the direction in which America is headed. In I Want You to Shut the F*ck Up, D.L. explains how we've become a nation of fat sissies playing Chicken Little, but in reverse: The sky is falling, but we're supposed to act like everything's fine. D.L. just points out the sobering facts: there is no standard of living by which we are the best. In terms of life expectancy, we're 36th--tied with Cuba; in terms of literacy, we're 20th--behind Kazakhstan. We sit here laughing at Borat, but the Kazakhs are sitting in their country reading.Things are bad now and they're only going to get worse. Unless, of course, you sit down, shut the f*ck up, and listen to what D. L. Hughley has to say. I Want You to Shut the F*ck Up is a slap to the political senses, a much needed ass-kicking of the American sense of entitlement. In these pages, D. L. Hughley calls it like he sees it, offering his hilarious yet insightful thoughts on:- Our supposedly post-racial society- The similarities between America the superpower and the drunk idiot at the bar- Why Bill Clinton is more a product of a black upbringing than Barack Obama - That apologizing is not the answer to controversy, especially when you meant what you said - Why civil rights leaders are largely to blame for black people not being represented on television- Why getting your ghetto pass revoked should be seen as a good thing, not something to be ashamed of - And how hard it is to be married to a black woman
I Want a Date
by Erika FiorucciCiara Whelan wants a date. Her last boyfriend, who dumped her a year ago, just got married and even sent her a notice in the mail. If that's not a sign that she's falling behind in the dating scene, she doesn't know what else it could be. As a good Community Manager, she will seek the help of all the social media within her reach to achieve her goal: a perfect photo to share; but she will end up immersed in that dead-end labyrinth that is the dating world to any woman dangerously close to thirty and with two numbers in her trouser size. She will find out the hard way that it's not enough to want a date, you have to want a date with, and algorithms are no good for that because everyone lies on their profiles. The perfect man could be right in front of her eyes, waiting for Ciara to take her eyes off her phone.
I Want a Dog
by Jon AgeeA girl seeks her perfect pet at a wonderfully unusual animal shelter in this comical read-aloud by the award-winning creator of Life on MarsThe Copley County Animal Shelter has an aardvark, a lizard, a goose, a weasel, and plenty more. But do they have a puppy? The girl with her wagon is ready to adopt a dog--not an aardvark, lizard, or goose! Can the shelter manager help her to find her perfect pet?
I Want to Be Mad for a While!
by Barney SaltzbergDiscover an exploration of BIG feelings that is perfect for fans of social-emotional bestsellers When Sophie Gets Angry -- Really, Really Angry and My Mouth Is a Volcano, from the bestselling author of Beautiful Oops!, Barney Saltzberg!Sometimes it helps when we talk.Sometimes there's nothing to say.I just need a little alone time to make the mad go away.Discover a universally relatable story about one little cat who just wants to be MAD... at least for a little while! With gentle text and bold, vibrant illustrations, Barney Saltzberg encourages readers to "feel what they feel" and express their emotions, helping young ones develop key tools for social-emotional literacy. A must-have for any toddler caregiver. This book empowers children on the topic of anger, letting them know that it's okay to feel mad sometimes. Because after you let yourself feel mad... then you can start to feel GLAD!
I Want to Be Where the Normal People Are
by Rachel BloomFrom the charming and wickedly funny co-creator and star of Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, a collection of hilarious personal essays, poems and even amusement park maps on the subjects of insecurity, fame, anxiety, and much more.Rachel Bloom has felt abnormal and out of place her whole life. In this exploration of what she thinks makes her "different," she's come to realize that a lot of people also feel this way; even people who she otherwise thought were "normal."In a collection of laugh-out-loud funny essays, all told in the unique voice (sometimes singing voice) that made her a star; Rachel writes about everything from her love of Disney, OCD and depression, weirdness, and Spanx to the story of how she didn't poop in the toilet until she was four years old; Rachel's pieces are hilarious, smart, and infinitely relatable (except for the pooping thing).
I Want to Be Where the Normal People Are: Essays and Other Stuff
by Rachel BloomIn the vein of Mindy Kaling, Ali Wong, and Amy Poehler, a collection of hilarious personal essays, poems and even amusement park maps on the subjects of insecurity, fame, anxiety, and much more from the charming and wickedly funny creator of Crazy Ex-Girlfriend.A collection of hilarious personal essays, poems and even amusement park maps on the subjects of insecurity, fame, anxiety, and much more from the charming and wickedly funny creator of Crazy Ex-Girlfriend. "It's nice to know someone as talented as Rachel is also pretty weird. If you're like me and love Rachel Bloom, this hilarious, personal book will make you love her even more." - Mindy Kaling "Rachel is one of the funniest, bravest people of our generation and this book blew me away." - Amy SchumerRachel Bloom has felt abnormal and out of place her whole life. In this exploration of what she thinks makes her 'different', she's come to realise that a lot of people also feel this way; even people who she otherwise thought were 'normal'.In a collection of laugh-out-loud funny essays, all told in the unique voice (sometimes singing voice) that made her a star, Rachel writes about everything from her love of Disney, OCD and depression, weirdness, and female friendships to the story of how she didn't poop in the toilet until she was four years old. It's a hilarious, smart, and infinitely relatable collection (except for the pooping thing).(P) 2020 Hachette Audio
I Want to Be Where the Normal People Are: The perfect summer gift for Crazy Ex-Girlfriend fans
by Rachel Bloom'One of the funniest books of the year' - GuardianA collection of hilarious personal essays, poems and even amusement park maps on the subjects of insecurity, fame, anxiety, and much more from the charming and wickedly funny creator of Crazy Ex-Girlfriend. "It's nice to know someone as talented as Rachel is also pretty weird. If you're like me and love Rachel Bloom, this hilarious, personal book will make you love her even more." - Mindy Kaling "Rachel is one of the funniest, bravest people of our generation and this book blew me away." - Amy SchumerRachel Bloom has felt abnormal and out of place her whole life. In this exploration of what she thinks makes her 'different', she's come to realise that a lot of people also feel this way; even people who she otherwise thought were 'normal'.In a collection of laugh-out-loud funny essays, all told in the unique voice (sometimes singing voice) that made her a star, Rachel writes about everything from her love of Disney, OCD and depression, weirdness, and female friendships to the story of how she didn't poop in the toilet until she was four years old. It's a hilarious, smart, and infinitely relatable collection (except for the pooping thing).Readers love I Want to Be Where the Normal People Are'I adore Crazy Ex-Girlfriend and this book was exactly what I needed it to be. Would highly recommend.' 5*'Rachel's voice is loud and clear from the first lines of the book. I've been missing it since Crazy Ex-Girlfriend . . . this time she's talking right to me, in my head, and it is like being part of this newfound Friendtopia.' 5*'Heartfelt. Honest. Genuine. And funny as hell . . . Rachel writes about the things that could have broken her, but didn't, in a very funny and raw way, and she doesn't hold back.' 5*'Crazy Ex-Girlfriend is a hilarious and honest show which does not hold back when confronting the truth of sex, love, mental illness and life. This same comedic and chaotic energy is channelled in Bloom's wonderful book which I would highly recommend, whether you are a previous fan of hers or not.' 5*
I Want to Buy a Vowel
by John Welter"I want to buy a vowel," Alfredo Santayana said to the first American he met, a pleasant-looking old white woman standing outside of a convenience store in Waxahachie, Texas. It was one of the very few English expressions Alfredo had memorized, one that might be followed by a wondrous gift. Aside from phrases like "I want to buy a vowel," Alfredo's English is very limited. But with his new job at a restaurant, this Guatemalan immigrant is learning to speak Chinese. And when rumors of Satanic activity spark hysteria in town -- and the innocent Alfredo finds himself being threatened with everything from deportation to burning at the stake -- he also begins to learn that his rich and glittering adopted country has a dark side, too. Written by the celebrated author described by The Seattle Times as "a guy who is wildly imaginative or strange or both," I Want to Buy a Vowel is both a touching novel of the immigrant experience-- and a satire that hits the jackpot.
I Want to Kill the Dog
by Richard M. CohenA hilarious book by Richard M. Cohen, the New York Times bestselling author of Blindsided and Strong at the Broken Places, about living with his wife, Meredith Vieira, and her band of difficult dogs. "Has a couple ever gone to war or a spouse moved to another country because a pet came between them? Have two people other than my wife and me ever had such opposing feelings when it comes to domestic animals?” So wonders Richard M. Cohen, who has endured the beasts his wife, Meredith Vieira, has brought into the house to enrich their lives. Despite her unshakable affection for these furry creatures, the various animals have destroyed the serenity of a once calm household. Friends watch in stunned silence as the family frantically struggles to keep peace in this lawless land. Delivery people have fled in fear. Guests have cowered or simply laughed at the hideous shrieks, the current mutt’s stab at intimidation. Then there are the cats that think they are ferocious jungle creatures. Weary of having animals run the show, Richard is fed up. These animals are destroying a home, and the life of one simple soul who seeks only peace and quiet. The King has been overthrown. The Queen and her court have taken over. That would be Meredith and her minions. I Want to Kill the Dog is more than a countercultural ode to those weary of the pet pedestal. It is a portrait of a marriage and of the redemptive power of humor and family when banishing the beast is not an option. .
I Want to Kill the Dog
by Richard M. CohenA hilarious book by Richard M. Cohen, the New York Times bestselling author of Blindsided and Strong at the Broken Places, about living with his wife, Meredith Vieira, and her band of difficult dogs. "Has a couple ever gone to war or a spouse moved to another country because a pet came between them? Have two people other than my wife and me ever had such opposing feelings when it comes to domestic animals?" So wonders Richard M. Cohen, who has endured the beasts his wife, Meredith Vieira, has brought into the house to enrich their lives. Despite her unshakable affection for these furry creatures, the various animals have destroyed the serenity of a once calm household. Friends watch in stunned silence as the family frantically struggles to keep peace in this lawless land. Delivery people have fled in fear. Guests have cowered or simply laughed at the hideous shrieks, the current mutt's stab at intimidation. Then there are the cats that think they are ferocious jungle creatures. Weary of having animals run the show, Richard is fed up. These animals are destroying a home, and the life of one simple soul who seeks only peace and quiet. The King has been overthrown. The Queen and her court have taken over. That would be Meredith and her minions. I Want to Kill the Dog is more than a countercultural ode to those weary of the pet pedestal. It is a portrait of a marriage and of the redemptive power of humor and family when banishing the beast is not an option.
I Was Told It Would Get Easier
by Abbi Waxman&“Abbi Waxman is both irreverent and thoughtful.&”—#1 New York Times bestselling author Emily GiffinSquashed among a bus full of strangers, mother-daughter duo Jessica and Emily Burnstein watch their carefully mapped-out college tour devolve into a series of off-roading misadventures, from the USA Today bestselling author of The Bookish Life of Nina Hill. Jessica and Emily Burnstein have very different ideas of how this college tour should go.For Emily, it's a preview of freedom, exploring the possibility of her new and more exciting future. Not that she's sure she even wants to go to college, but let's ignore that for now. And maybe the other kids on the tour will like her more than the ones at school. . . . They have to, right?For Jessica, it's a chance to bond with the daughter she seems to have lost. They used to be so close, but then Goldfish crackers and Play-Doh were no longer enough of a draw. She isn't even sure if Emily likes her anymore. To be honest, Jessica isn't sure she likes herself.Together with a dozen strangers--and two familiar enemies--Jessica and Emily travel the East Coast, meeting up with family and old friends along the way. Surprises and secrets threaten their relationship and, in the end, change it forever.
I Was Told There Would Be Romance
by Marie ArnoldFor fans of Never Have I Ever and To All the Boys I&’ve Loved Before comes a hilarious and heartfelt novel about a young Haitian girl navigating high school, friendship, and crushes. Fifteen-year-old Fancy Augustine is a Haitian American girl with simple desires. She&’d like to trade in her floppy, oversize boobs for cute, perky ones. She&’d love a boyfriend. And she&’s desperate for an invite to the biggest event of the school year: Imani Park&’s birthday party. When Fancy learns her BFF, Tilly, has received a coveted invite and has a secret boyfriend, she is (understandably) devastated and wholeheartedly determined to do whatever it takes to get her own happily ever after. So what if she makes a deal with the devil (Imani) that guarantees her an invite—but only if she can bring a boyfriend? And what&’s so bad about letting her crush, Rahim, believe that she can create a voodoo potion for him in exchange for him posing as her boyfriend? And, yeah, maybe she&’s destroying her friendship with Tilly and falling hopelessly behind in her schoolwork, but Fancy knows it&’ll all be worth it in the end. Plus, it&’s not like Fancy&’s parents would really make good on their threats of sending her back to Haiti...right?
I Was a Child
by Bruce Eric KaplanI Was a Child is an illustrated memoir by Bruce Eric Kaplan, the renowned New Yorker cartoonist. Bruce Eric Kaplan, also known as BEK, is one of the most celebrated and admired cartoonists in America.<P><P> I Was a Child is the story of his childhood in suburban New Jersey, detailing the small moments we all experience: going to school, playing with friends, family dinners, watching TV on a hot summer night, and so on. It would seem like a conventional childhood, although Kaplan's anecdotes are accompanied by his signature drawings of family outings and life at home-road trips, milk crates, hamsters, ashtrays, a toupee, a platypus, and much more. Kaplan's cartoons, although simple, are never straightforward; they encompass an easy irony and dark humor that often cuts straight to the truth of experience. <P>Brilliantly relatable and genuinely moving, I Was a Child is about our attempts to understand the mysteries that are our parents, our families, and ourselves.From the Hardcover edition.
I Was a Non-Blonde Cheerleader
by Kieran ScottNew Jersey transplant and sassy brunette Annisa Gobrowski has a problem-literally everyone at her Florida high school is blonde. No lack of golden highlights is going to stop Annisa from making the cheerleading squad. But after accidentally breaking the most popular girl in school's nose, and discovering the cheerleaders all hate her, she starts having second thoughts. Is it too much to ask to land a spot on the team, win the heart of her dreamy crush and make tons of new friends? Annisa is on the verge of giving up, but the cheerleader in her just won't let her quit. She may be a little different, but Sand Dune High had better watch out-this non-blonde is here to stay in this hilariously funny novel from Private author Kieran Scott.
I Was a Sixth Grade Alien
by Bruce CovilleLife is not easy for Pleskit Meenom, the son of the first ambassador from another planet to arrive on Earth. Not only does he have to worry about just fitting in, but now he's shrunk his teacher and lost his grandfather's brain!!
I Was a Teenage Dwarf: Stories
by Max ShulmanThis hysterical follow-up to The Many Loves of Dobie Gillis details the lifelong pursuits of the pint-sized Don Juan Each chapter—straight from the diaries of Dobie Gillis—is a true experience from our hero&’s life between the ages of thirteen to thirty. All the experiences are about girls, because that&’s what Dobie&’s life is about: girls. In &“Girls: Their Cause and Cure,&” Dobie is a sixth-grader with the serious issue of being shorter than every girl in his class. A petite cellist with leaky tear ducts is his best bet until a beautiful rock-and-roll chick arrives at school. Dobie falls hard for the new girl, not realizing that she&’s due for a growth spurt. Two years later, Dobie has more important concerns. In &“Puberty Is Here to Stay,&” his girlfriend, Tuckie Webb, goes away to summer camp and comes back more stunning than ever. Too bad she has hulking seventeen-year-old Murder McIntyre attached to her arm. Fifteen years later, Dobie weds his college sweetheart, Chloe. Marriage, it turns out, is the cure for Dobie&’s obsession with girls, but money worries now plague our hero&’s mind. When baby Pete arrives and Chloe spends all their cash on vitamins, nursery school, fencing lessons, and fancy dogs, Dobie fears he&’ll never have the nest egg he desires. Then he realizes that he already has the two things a man really needs: a beautiful, loving wife and a happy child.
I Will Chomp You!
by Jory John Bob SheaSTOP RIGHT THERE. Don't move a muscle, buster. Stay out of this book or I WILL CHOMP YOU! So says the not-so-fierce inhabitant of I Will Chomp You!, a tale of deception, greed . . . and cake! Jory John and Bob Shea bring a fresh, hilarious twist to a time-tested blueprint as their little monster threatens, reasons, and pleads with readers to go no further in the book because he will NOT share his beautiful, delicious cakes. Children will identify with the monster's high valuation of his possessions, and (importantly) will laugh at the silly measures he takes to protect them.I WILL CHOMP YOU! A monster's reign of terror begins even before the title page: "HEY. GO AWAY." Turn to the title page and there the monster waits, blue-skinned and angry-eyed: "I WILL CHOMP YOU!" As the reader turns the pages, the monster's direct-address threats increase: "If you turn any more pages...I WILL CHOMP YOU, BUSTER!" Another page turn and the monster is even angrier: "NOW QUIT IT!" Until finally, "HEY! I'm warning you! You've been officially WARNED! CHOMP!" Unfortunately for the monster, the reader is just too fast, and its chomp misses the mark. The monster proceeds to bite, yell, and barrel its way through the pages, repeatedly trying to halt-by-chomping the reader from reaching its secret hidden in the back pages of the book (psst, it's cake). This book, written entirely as monster monologue, is all bright colors and sharp edges, creating a feeling of temper-tantrum immediacy that matches the silly-angry words. Shea's illustrations are bold but not too busy, giving the impression of fast movement and strong emotions, and the striped shirt-wearing monster is lovable in an ankle-biting kind of way. The fast pace, funny faces, and silly secret make this a great read-aloud. siân gaetano THE HORN BOOKFrom the Hardcover edition.
I Will Chomp You!: Read & Listen Edition
by Jory JohnSTOP RIGHT THERE. Don&’t move a muscle, buster. Stay out of this book or I WILL CHOMP YOU! So says the not-so-fierce inhabitant of I Will Chomp You!, a tale of deception, greed . . . and cake! Jory John and Bob Shea bring a fresh, hilarious twist to a time-tested blueprint as their little monster threatens, reasons, and pleads with readers to go no further in the book because he will NOT share his beautiful, delicious cakes. Children will identify with the monster&’s high valuation of his possessions, and (importantly) will laugh at the silly measures he takes to protect them.This Read & Listen edition contains audio narration.
I Will Judge You by Your Bookshelf
by Grant SniderA look at the culture and fanaticism of book lovers, from the beloved New York Times illustrator and creator of Incidental Comics. It’s no secret, but we are judged by our bookshelves. We learn to read at an early age, and as we grow older we shed our beloved books for new ones. But some of us surround ourselves with books. We collect them, decorate with them, are inspired by them, and treat our books as sacred objects. In this lighthearted collection of one- and two-page comics, writer-artist Grant Snider explores bookishness in all its forms, and the love of writing and reading, building on the beloved literary comics featured on his website, Incidental Comics. I Will Judge You by Your Bookshelf is the perfect gift for bookworms of all ages.“This playful, self-aware collection of strips and gags on the joys and frustrations of reading and writing is equal parts lighthearted and sincere . . . The panels range from gently clever to surprisingly profound to laugh-out-loud.” —Publishers Weekly“A prescient book for these times.” —Newsarama
I Will Love You For the Rest of My Life
by Michael CzyzniejewskiIn I Will Love You For the Rest of My Life: Breakup Stories, Michael Czyzniejewski examines twenty-nine cases of human love at their most critical junctures, bearing witness to the absurdity of longing. An astronaut's husband cheats while his wife is in space; a scallop opens a portal to another dimension; a man exploits his peanut allergy for kinky sex; a blind date turns into a bestial kidnapping. Self-doubt, unshakable distrust, unrequited longing, and the prospect of eternal loneliness haunt these romantics. The heart wants what it wants, but it doesn't always last forever.
I Will Not Lose in Super Shoes!
by Jonathan FenskeBook-It Bunny is back for another reading race!In this story designed to engage early readers, charming characters combine with simple text, lively illustrations, and laugh-out-loud humor to help boost kids' confidence and create lifelong readers!The speedy Book-It Bunny is challenging you to a reading race. And with her brand-new super shoes, she's convinced she will win. Can you pick up the pace and avoid her tricks along the way? Find out in this silly story perfect for emerging readers. Exciting, easy-to-read books are the stepping stone a young reader needs to bridge the gap between being a beginner and being fluent.
I Will Race You Through This Book!
by Jonathan E. FenskeSee if you can beat Book-It Bunny in a reading race!In this story designed to engage early readers, charming characters combine with simple text, lively illustrations, and laugh-out-loud humor to help boost kids' confidence and create lifelong readers!This easy-to-read adventure breaks the fourth wall as Book-It Bunny challenges the reader to race her to the end of the story. But with distractions and tricks up her sleeve along the way, the competition becomes both fierce and funny at the same time. On your mark, get set, read!Exciting, easy-to-read books are the stepping stone a young reader needs to bridge the gap between being a beginner and being fluent.