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I Married a Prince
by Kathryn JensenSECRET BABY HEIR TO THE THRONE!How could a small-town librarian with her nose in books-not the tabloids-know that the man she'd fallen for years ago was literally a prince? Or that their love child was heir to a royal throne? All Allison knew was that his seductive charm had turned her from a girl into a woman....TEMPORARY PRINCESSUnable to forget her, Jacob returned for one last taste of Allison's sweet lips. When he discovered his son, he proposed a temporary marriage of convenience to save his family from scandal. By law, Jacob was not allowed to marry a "commoner." But he was determined to bend the rules and make Allison a permanent princess by Christmas....
I Meant It Once: Stories
by Kate DoyleThis &“gorgeous, electric&” collection of short stories is about the inner lives of young women during their transformative twenties, navigating relationships, nostalgia for the past, and the uncertainty of the future (Mary-Beth Hughes, author of The Ocean House). With this sharp and witty debut collection, author Kate Doyle captures precisely that time of life when so many young women are caught in between, pre-occupied by nostalgia for past relationships—with friends, roommates, siblings—while trying to move forward into an uncertain future. In &“That Is Shocking,&” a college student relates a darkly funny story of romantic humiliation, one that skirts the parallel story of a friend she betrayed. In others, young women long for friends who have moved away, or moved on. In &“Cinnamon Baseball Coyote&” and other linked stories about siblings Helen, Evan, and Grace, their years of inside jokes and brutal tensions simmer over as the three spend a holiday season in an amusing whirl of rivalry and mutual attachment, and a generational gulf widens between them and their parents. Throughout, in stories both lyrical and haunting, young women search for ways to break free from the expectations of others and find a way to be in the world. Written with crystalline prose and sly humor, the stories in I Meant It Once build to complete a profoundly recognizable portrait of early adulthood and the ways in which seemingly incidental moments can come to define the stories we tell ourselves. For fans of Elif Batuman, Ottessa Moshfegh, Patricia Lockwood, and Melissa Bank, these stories about being young and adrift in today&’s world go down easy and pack a big punch.
I Met Someone
by Bruce WagnerI Met Someone is the story of an actress named Dusty Wilding, her wife Allegra, a long-lost daughter, and the secrets beneath the glamour of their lavish, yet carefully measured celebrity life. After Allegra suffers a miscarriage, Dusty embarks on a search for the daughter she lost at age sixteen and to face the question that has haunted her for decades. With masterful suspense, Bruce Wagner reveals the individual trauma and the uncanny connections of his characters and connects their intertwining pasts together. I Met Someone plummets the reader down a rabbit hole of the human psyche. Wagner&’s remarkable insights into our collective obsession with great wealth and fame offers a tender, shocking, and poetic novel.
I Might Be in Trouble
by Daniel AlemanA "hilarious, suspense-filled" dark comedy about a struggling writer who wakes up to find his date from the night before dead—and must then decide how far he&’s willing to go to use this as inspiration for his next book (Entertainment Weekly). A few years ago, David Alvarez had it all: a six-figure book deal, a loving boyfriend, and an exciting writing career. His debut novel was a resounding success, which made the publication of his second book—a total flop—all the more devastating. Now, David is single, lonely, and desperately trying to come up with the next great idea for his third manuscript, one that will redeem him in the eyes of readers, reviewers, the entire publishing world…and maybe even his ex-boyfriend. But good ideas are hard to come by, and the mounting pressure of a near-empty bank account isn&’t helping. When David connects with a sexy stranger on a dating app, he figures a wild night out in New York City may be just what he needs to find inspiration. But after one of the best nights of his life, David wakes up hungover but giddy—only to find prince charming dead next to him in bed. Suddenly faced with the implausible idea that he may have actually killed his date, David calls the only person he can trust in a moment of crisis: his literary agent, Stacey. Together, David and Stacey must untangle the events of the previous night, cover their tracks, and spin the entire misadventure into David&’s career-defining novel—if only they can figure out what to do with the body first.AN INDIE NEXT PICK AND A LIBRARYREADS SELECTION
I Might Regret This: Essays, Drawings, Vulnerabilities and Other Stuff
by Abbi JacobsonA NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLERFrom the co-creator and co-star of the hit series Broad City, a hilarious and poignant collection about love, loss, work, comedy and figuring out who you really are when you thought you already knew.When Abbi Jacobson announced to friends and acquaintances that she planned to drive across the country alone, she was met with lots of questions and opinions: Why wasn't she going with friends? Wouldn't it be incredibly lonely? The North route is better! Was it safe for a woman? The Southern route is the way to go! You should bring mace! And a common one . . . why? But Abbi had always found comfort in solitude, and needed space to step back and hit the reset button. As she spent time in each city and town on her way to Los Angeles, she mulled over the big questions - What do I really want? What is the worst possible scenario in which I could run into my ex? How has the decision to wear my shirts tucked in been pivotal in my adulthood? In this collection of anecdotes, observations and reflections - all told in the sharp, wildly funny and relatable voice that has endeared Abbi to critics and fans alike - readers will feel like they're in the passenger seat on a fun and, ultimately, inspiring journey. With some original illustrations by the author.
I Might Regret This: Essays, Drawings, Vulnerabilities, and Other Stuff
by Abbi JacobsonFrom the co-creator and co-star of the hit series Broad City, a "poignant, funny, and beautifully unabashed" (Cheryl Strayed) essay collection about love, loss, work, comedy, and figuring out who you really are when you thought you already knew. <P><P>When Abbi Jacobson announced to friends and acquaintances that she planned to drive across the country alone, she was met with lots of questions and opinions: Why wasn't she going with friends? Wouldn't it be incredibly lonely? The North route is better! Was it safe for a woman? The Southern route is the way to go! You should bring mace! And a common one... why? <P><P>But Abbi had always found comfort in solitude, and needed space to step back and hit the reset button. As she spent time in each city and town on her way to Los Angeles, she mulled over the big questions-- What do I really want? What is the worst possible scenario in which I could run into my ex? How has the decision to wear my shirts tucked in been pivotal in my adulthood? <P><P>In this collection of anecdotes, observations and reflections--all told in the sharp, wildly funny, and relatable voice that has endeared Abbi to critics and fans alike--readers will feel like they're in the passenger seat on a fun and, ultimately, inspiring journey. With some original illustrations by the author. <P><b>A New York Times Bestseller</b>
I Moved to Los Angeles to Work in Animation (I Moved to Los Angeles to Work in Animation)
by Natalie NourigatWhen artist Natalie Nourigat left her life in Portland to move to Los Angeles and pursue a job in animation, she realized that despite her research, nothing truly prepared her for the wild world that awaited in the studios of Southern California. This autobiographical how-to graphic novel explores the highest highs and lowest lows of pursuing a dream in animation. Brushed with a dose of humor and illustrated advice about salaries, studio culture, and everything in between, I Moved to Los Angeles to Work in Animation is the unique insider experience you won’t find anywhere else.
I Must Confess
by Rupert SmithA stinging satire of tell-all showbiz memoirs starring a self-deluded gay icon who has managed to ride every pop culture trend of the last forty years.Marc LeJeune has had a remarkable career in the entertainment business. Despite the carping of critics, cruel twists of fate, and the treachery of former friends who were blind to his exceptional dramatic and musical talents, he has remained true to his unique artistic vision. From his early days as the face of Swinging London, to the late 1960s avant garde theater scene, through the sexually liberated cinema of the 1970s, to his current status as a much-loved household name and TV favorite, he tells all in this, his own astonishing story.Through this fabulous parody of the showbiz confession, Rupert Smith has created a witty and scathing satire of popular culture and entertainment over the last forty years. Marc LeJeune is a brilliant comic creation, inspired by Smith's many years of interviewing celebrities for Time Out and writing about showbiz in The Guardian (U.K.).
I Need All the Friends I Can Get (Peanuts)
by Charles M. SchulzA classic Peanuts gift book, reissued in its original format, featuring Charlie Brown and the gang discovering that friends can be found in the unlikeliest of places. "A friend is someone who will share his home with you." First published in 1964, this classic Peanuts book features Charles Schulz's original drawings of Charlie Brown, Snoopy, Lucy, and the rest of the Peanuts gang as they try to answer the question: What is the meaning of friendship? This is the perfect gift to celebrate and cherish your friends!
I Need a New Butt!: The Cheeky Sequel To The International Bestseller I Need A New Butt!
by Ross Kinnaird Dawn McMillan"A silly story that will cause boys and girls to giggle from beginning to end!" — Norman Public Schools A young boy suddenly notices a big problem — his butt has a huge crack! So he sets off to find a new one. Will he choose an armor-plated butt? A rocket butt? A robot butt? Find out in this quirky tale of a tail, which features hilarious rhymes and delightful illustrations. Children and parents will love this book — no ifs, ands, or butts about it! "I can assure you right now that your kids will love this book. They will giggle, they will laugh, and they will want this book to be read over and over again because it is just plain silly and funny … the perfect kid-combo." — Storywraps
I Never Knew There Was a Word For It
by Adam Jacot de BoinodFrom 'shotclog', a Yorkshire term for a companion only tolerated because he is paying for the drinks, to Albanian having 29 words to describe different kinds of eyebrows, the languages of the world are full of amazing, amusing and illuminating words and expressions that will improve absolutely everybody's quality of life. All they need is this book! This bumper volume gathers all three of Adam Jacot de Boinod's acclaimed books about language - The Wonder of Whiffling, The Meaning of Tingo and Toujours Tingo (their fans include everyone from Stephen Fry to Michael Palin) - into one highly entertaining, keenly priced compendium. As Mariella Frostup said 'You'll never be lost for words again!'
I Never Metaphor I Didn't Like
by Mardy GrotheThe murals in restaurants are on a par with the food in museums. America is an enormous frosted cupcake in the middle of millions of starving people. Critics are like pigs at the pastry cart. Describing something by relating it to another thing is the essence of metaphorical thought. It is one of the oldest activities of humankind-and one of the most impressive when done skillfully. Throughout history, many masters of metaphor have crafted observations that are so spectacular they have taken up a permanent residence in our minds. In I Never Metaphor I Didn't Like, quotation maven Dr. Mardy Grothe fixes his attention on the three superstars of figurative language-analogies, metaphors, and similes. The result is an extraordinary compilation of nearly 2,000 feats of association that will entertain, educate, and occasionally inspire quotation lovers everywhere. In this intellectual smorgasbord, the author of Oxymoronica and Viva la Repartee explains figurative language in a refreshingly down-to-earth way before taking readers on a tour of history's greatest word pictures. In chapters on wit, love, sex, stage and screen, insults, politics, sports, and more, you will find quotations from Aristotle and Maya Angelou to George Washington and Oprah Winfrey.
I Never Metaphor I Didn't Like: A Comprehensive Compilation of History’s Greatest Analogies, Metaphors, and Similes
by Dr Mardy GrotheThe murals in restaurants are on a par with the food in museums.America is an enormous frosted cupcake in the middle of millions of starving people.Critics are like pigs at the pastry cart.Describing something by relating it to another thing is the essence of metaphorical thought. It is one of the oldest activities of humankind--and one of the most impressive when done skillfully. Throughout history, many masters of metaphor have crafted observations that are so spectacular they have taken up a permanent residence in our minds. In I Never Metaphor I Didn't Like, quotation maven Dr. Mardy Grothe fixes his attention on the three superstars of figurative language--analogies, metaphors, and similes. The result is an extraordinary compilation of nearly 2,000 feats of association that will entertain, educate, and occasionally inspire quotation lovers everywhere.In this intellectual smorgasbord, the author of Oxymoronica and Viva la Repartee explains figurative language in a refreshingly down-to-earth way before taking readers on a tour of history's greatest word pictures. In chapters on wit, love, sex, stage and screen, insults, politics, sports, and more, you will find quotations from Aristotle and Maya Angelou to George Washington and Oprah Winfrey.
I Never Promised You a Rose Garden: A Short Guide to Modern Politics, the Coalition and the General Election
by John CraceExactly a week after the general election, two men – ‘Call me Dave’ and ‘Call me Nick’ – walked side by side into the rose garden of No. 10 Downing Street to give their first press-conference as Prime Minister and Deputy Prime Minister, looking for all the world like men in love. It was a romance in which people wanted to believe. But it was also one that people couldn't help but mistrust. Most unnerving, however, was the sense that they both couldn't quite believe their luck. Cameron: I can't believe it. All those people out there just for us ...Clegg: I know. It's mad, isn't it? I have to keep pinching myself as well.Cameron: Go on say it again ...Clegg: What?Cameron: Call me Prime Minister ...The storms the Dave and Nick partnership would have to face (same sex marriage, plebgate, triple dip recession, riots ...) were then unclear. Now, almost five years on, this up-to-the-minute portrait of Westminster and the forthcoming General Election exposes the realities of the Coalition, while offering an indispensible guide to a half-decade of madness:· * Foreign Policy - The new 'special relationship' - William Hague and Angelina Jolie· * The Economy - Osborne finally cracks it: boom in London; bust everywhere else.· * Immigration - should the entire population of Bulgaria pick strawberries for us?· * The Opposition - how Labour got the wrong Miliband. Includes:* UKIP, PPI, ISIS and other dubious acronyms.· * The countdown to the General Election 2015: five years of planning since the last one.Insightful, painful, very funny, this is a must-read for all of us with a vote, whichever side we thought we were on.
I Never Said I Loved You: THE SUNDAY TIMES BESTSELLER
by Rhik Samadder'I Never Said I Love You is one of the most electric, enchanting, engrossing and energising memoirs of self-harm, self-loathing, grief, eating disorders, suicide - and sex - that you will read.' The Sunday Times'Indecently entertaining... one of the most uplifting and eccentric memoirs I have ever read.' Observer'Brutally honest and relentlessly funny.' Adam Kay, author of 'This is Going to Hurt''A brilliant memoir full of gasp-inducing honesty about depression and family and taking control of your own pain. Funny, sad, hopeful, I Never Said I Loved You is an irresistible, strangely empowering read.' Matt Haig'This mind-blowingly wonderful memoir had me convulsing with laughter even while my heart was breaking. It's utterly effing BEAUTIFUL.' Marian Keyes'I found myself blindsided by this extraordinary book ... I was deeply moved by its capacity both to depict pain, and offer consolation. I loved it, and won't ever forget it.' Sarah Perry'Both touching and funny' the TelegraphOn an unlikely backpacking trip, Rhik and his mother find themselves speaking openly for the first time in years. Afterwards, the depression that has weighed down on Rhik begins to loosen its grip for a moment - so he seizes the opportunity: to own it, to understand it, and to find out where it came from. Through this begins a journey of investigation, healing and recovery. Along the way Rhik learns some shocking truths about his family, and realizes that, in turn, he will need to confront the secrets he has long buried. But through this, he triumphs over his fears and brings his depression into the light. I Never Said I Loved You is the story of how Rhik learned to let go, and then keep going. With unique humour and honesty, he has created a powerfully rich, funny and poignant exploration of the light and dark in all of us.A vital, moving and darkly funny memoir by a powerful new voice in non-fiction.'Both unputdownable and beautifully-written, bracing and consoling. A book that tackles mental health and the darkest things with razor-sharp wit and mordant laughs aplenty ... read this.' Sharlene Teo'Touching, funny, wildly readable ... Look out for it.' Sathnam Sanghera'No one writes better, or more sweetly, about how it feels to feel. Even the darkest times are shot through with glorious, bright beams of wit.' Janet Ellis'It's honest and funny (and beautifully painful and brutal at times), but also - oh goodness - it's so elegant. The writing is graceful and kind, even when it hurts a little to remember it's a memoir.' Joanna Cannon 'Equal parts hilarious and heartbreaking. What an absolutely riveting read.' Nikita Gill'Heartbreaking, funny, raw, brave and - yes! - even better than the egg thing.' Erin Kelly'I have always loved Rhik Samadder's writing. And now there's a whole book!' Jessie Burton'A sparkling, thoughtful memoir. It manages to be witty, charming, brooding and devastating all the same time.' Justin Myers, The Guyliner
I Never Said I Loved You: THE SUNDAY TIMES BESTSELLER
by Rhik Samadder"I'm in bed with my mother, in a Bangkok sex hotel. It is my 30th birthday, it is time for me to become a man, and I have grave worries about the kind of man I'm going to become."On an unlikely backpacking trip, Rhik and his mother find themselves speaking openly for the first time in years. Afterwards, the depression that has weighed down on Rhik begins to loosen its grip for a moment - so he seizes the opportunity: to own it, to understand it, and to find out where it came from. Through this begins a journey of investigation, healing and recovery. Along the way Rhik learns some shocking truths about his family, and realizes that, in turn, he will need to confront the secrets he has long buried. But through this, he triumphs over his fears and brings his depression into the light. I Never Said I Loved You is the story of how Rhik learned to let go, and then keep going. With unique humour and honesty, he has created a powerfully rich, funny and poignant exploration of the light and dark in all of us.(p) 2019 Headline Publishing Group Ltd
I Now Pronounce You Someone Else
by Erin McCahanThe teen-girl fascination with weddings comes to fiction in this hilarious debut, as 17-year-old Bronwen Oliver plots her escape from her family . . . by marrying into someone else's.Here Comes the Bride -- If She Can Pass Chemistry.Seventeen-yaer-old Bronwen Oliver has a secret: She's really Phoebe, the lost daughter of the loving Lilywhite family. That's the only way to explain her cold, manipulative mother, distant stepfather, and good-for-nothing brother: Bronwen must have been switched at birth, and she can't wait to get back to her real family.Then she meets Jared. He's sweet, funny, everything she wants - and he has the family Bronwen has always wanted too. When he proposes fourth months after they meet, she says yes. But as the wedding day approaches, Bronwen begins to wonder if Jared is truly what she needs. And if he's not, she has to ask: What would Phoebe Lilywhite do?
I Only Roast the Ones I Love
by Jeffrey RossJeffrey Ross is one of the world's most foremost practitioners of insult comedy. Having escaped from his family's kosher catering business, he spent years in the comedy circuit and mastered his craft of delivering hilarious and often offensive insults. Mixing silliness and sincerity, Ross explains the overall history of the roast and explains the art of delivering a stream of "festive abuse" while eliciting laughs. Taking readers on an entertaining journey through his own career, he shares roasts straight from the Friar's Club and the ever popular Comedy Central television events and provides a narrative of his favorite roasts of friends and family, including: Flava Flav: "You really are the ugliest man in America. I mean, how do you roast charcoal?" William Shatner: "Man, you have really let yourself boldly go. If Scotty tried to beam you up now you' d break the f*n' transporter." Courtney Love: "Courtney Love, you're like the girl next door...if you happen to live next to a Methadone clinic." Featuring tips on timing, what's going too far, and dealing with hecklers, Ross shows readers how to channel their inner roastmaster--and emphasizes the all-important Friars' Club motto: We only roast the ones we love.
I Owe You One (Orca Young Readers)
by Natalie HydeAfter almost drowning in a swollen creek, Wes wonders if what his friend Zach says is true: Wes owes a life debt to the old lady who rescued him. It doesn't help that Wes keeps hearing his dead father's voice saying things like, "A man pays his debts, Wes," and "A man always treats a woman with respect, Wes." But how does a guy go about paying back a life debt anyway? And what if it involves a transmission tower, an ice-cream truck and a few sticks of dynamite?
I Owe You One: A Novel
by Sophie Kinsella<p>From #1 New York Times bestselling author Sophie Kinsella, an irresistible story of love and empowerment about a young woman with a complicated family, a handsome man who might be “the one,” and an IOU that changes everything <p>Fixie Farr has always lived by her father’s motto: “Family first.” But since her dad passed away, leaving his charming housewares store in the hands of his wife and children, Fixie spends all her time picking up the slack from her siblings instead of striking out on her own. The way Fixie sees it, if she doesn’t take care of her father’s legacy, who will? It’s simply not in her nature to say no to people. <p>So when a handsome stranger in a coffee shop asks her to watch his laptop for a moment, Fixie not only agrees—she ends up saving it from certain disaster. Turns out the computer’s owner is an investment manager. To thank Fixie for her quick thinking, Sebastian scribbles an IOU on a coffee sleeve and attaches his business card. But Fixie laughs it off—she’d never actually claim an IOU from a stranger. Would she? <p>Then Fixie’s childhood crush, Ryan, comes back into her life and his lack of a profession pushes all of Fixie’s buttons. She wants nothing for herself—but she’d love Seb to give Ryan a job. And Seb agrees, until the tables are turned once more and a new series of IOUs between Seb and Fixie—from small favors to life-changing moments—ensues. Soon Fixie, Ms. Fixit for everyone else, is torn between her family and the life she really wants. Does she have the courage to take a stand? Will she finally grab the life, and love, she really wants?</p> <P><b>A New York Times Bestseller</b>
I Put a Spell on You
by Adam SelzerCOME SPELLING BEE season, the tiny town of Preston erupts in excitement: the bee is televised, and the hottest ticket in town. This year, an assortment of sixth-grade miscreants is going for the top prize: Jennifer, an overscheduled free spirit whose parents are obsessed with her college applications; Mutual, a previously home-schooled outsider who's enrolled in public school for the first time in order to participate in the bee; Harlan, the class clown who has spectacular plans for making the most of his time in the spotlight; and Chrissie, the constant observer, who suspects something is off at the bee and will stop at nothing to get to the truth. Principal Floren is acting shady to everyone—but, as he insists, “I am not a crook. ” From the Hardcover edition.
I Put a Spell on You: From the Files of Chrissie Woodward, Spelling Bee Detective
by Adam SelzerCome spelling bee season, the tiny town of Preston erupts in excitement: the bee is televised, and is the hottest ticket in town. This year, an assortment of sixth-grade miscreants is going for the top prize: Jennifer, an over scheduled free spirit whose parents are obsessed with her college applications; Mutual, a previously home-schooled outsider who's enrolled in public school for the first time in order to participate in the bee; Harlan, the class clown who has spectacular plans for making the most of his time in the spotlight; and Chrissie, the constant observer, who suspects something is off at the bee and will stop at nothing to get to the truth. Principal Floren is acting shady to everyone--but, as he insists, "I am not a crook. "
I Quit
by Kristen TracyFans of Cat Problems and Mother Bruce will not want to miss this hiss-terical picture book! I Quit is an oh-so-relatable story about a misbehaving kitty who's had just about enough... only to find out she's had what she needed all along.When kitty first got adopted, everything was purr-fect.Then came the rules. NO eating the bread! NO chasing the baby! BAD KITTY! Excuse me? She’s not a bad kitty. Left with no choice, she says goodbye to everything she loves (even her favorite crinkled-up receipt) and quits! But kitty's adventure in the great outdoors doesn't go as planned, and she realizes that she may have made a few mistakes. She knows she can do better, but how can she get home? Would her family even want her back?A laugh-out-loud picture book perfect for anyone who has ever had that "I quit!" feeling.
I Rant, Therefore I Am
by Dennis MillerDennis Miller first gained national acclaim as the wise-guy anchor of "Weekend Update" on "Saturday Night Live." When HBO premiered his weekly talk show in April 1994, both critics and fans enthusiastically agreed: "Dennis Miller Live" was the most refreshing talk show on television. The accolades have continued to pour in. In September 1994, Dennis and his staff won an Emmy Award for writing and have been regularly nominated since. When he takes the stage, the audience demands, "The rants, the rants, the rants," and once again, Dennis Miller delivers the goods. Fans of his smart, quirky, irreverent style of humor are in for another treat-this set of rants is even funnier than the last two rounds.
I Really Didn't Think This Through: Tales from My So-Called Adult Life
by Beth EvansLike Mindy Kaling meets Hyperbole and a Half, I Really Didn’t Think This Through gets at the heart of what makes life both so challenging and so joyful—figuring out how to be a person in the world. Did you ever wish your best friend—the person you would trust with your innermost secrets, the person whose wisdom and comfort you seek in times of stress or self-doubt—could draw?Armed with her beloved illustrations, popular Instagram artist Beth Evans tackles a range of issues—from whimsical musings to deeply personal struggles—in this imaginative anti-guide to being your own person.This book is a compendium of Beth’s collected wisdom and stories, interwoven with her tremendously popular and loveable illustrations. The book is a wonderful mix of fun (playful meditations on the band Rush and international pen-pals) and thoughtful (Beth delves into her personal history with obsessive compulsive disorder and depression while commiserating on topics like dating and credit card shame) all with a simple candor that anyone from a teen to their grandparent can relate to. Through all of her experiences, Beth manages to extract valuable lessons, and the book is replete with friendly advice about caring for yourself, getting help no matter what your problems are, and embracing what makes you happy. Beth is a compelling storyteller, her drawings picking up where her words leave off, creating an approachable and immersive experience for the reader. Beth’s work feels like a hug from your best friend. And like a best friend, she’s here to say “You got this!”