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I Can Barely Take Care of Myself
by Jen Kirkman"You'll Change Your Mind." That's what everyone says to Jen Kirkman-- and countless women like her--when she confesses she doesn't plan to have children. But you know what? It's hard enough to be an adult. You have to dress yourself and pay bills and remember to buy birthday gifts. You have to drive and get annual physicals and tip for good service. Some adults take on the added burden of caring for a tiny human being with no language skills or bladder control. Parenthood can be very rewarding, but let's face it, so are margaritas at the adults-only pool. Jen's stand-up routine includes lots of jokes about not having kids (and some about masturbation and Johnny Depp), after which complete strangers constantly approach her and ask, "But who will take care of you when you're old?" (Servants!) Some insist, "You'd be such a great mom!" (Really? You know me so well!) Whether living rent-free in her childhood bedroom while trying to break into comedy (the best free birth control around, she says), or taking the stage at major clubs and joining a hit TV show-- and along the way getting married, divorced, and attending excruciating afternoon birthday parties for her parent friends--Jen is completely happy and fulfilled by her decision not to procreate. I Can Barely Take Care of Myself is a beacon of hilarious hope for anyone whose major life decisions have been questioned by friends, family, and strangers in a comedy club bathroom. And it should satisfy everyone who wonders if Jen will ever know true love without looking into the eyes of her child.
I Can Be Anything
by Shinsuke YoshitakeA laugh-out-loud guessing game bedtime book!It's time for bed, but Natsumi has a brilliant idea, even better than going to sleep: She'll pretend to be something and Mom will guess what she is! Ready?Is she a caterpillar?An arrow sign?An upside-down bug?Take your best guess, then laugh along with Natsumi and her mom as they play a pre-bedtime game of charades full of silliness and surprises!• A delightfully silly read-aloud book for young children that helps soften bedtime routines• Part picture book, part guessing game! The interactive nature will keep kids turning the page!• Perfect book for toddlersFans of Guess Again, Interrupting Chicken, and Max and the Won't Go to Bed Show will love the clever kid-friendly humor of I Can Be Anything.• Family read-aloud books for ages 3–5• Guessing game books for toddlers
I Can Be Anything! (Beginner Books(R))
by Bob StaakeA shape-shifting lizard becomes anything he wants in this funny--and empowering--Beginner Book by award-winning illustrator Bob Staake!The giant lizard star of Bob Staake's Beginner Book Can You See Me? is back--and this time, instead of changing colors, he's changing shapes. (Very un-lizard-like shapes, including a robot on a dairy cow, a surfboard for a whale, and a one-eyed, green-headed monster!) Featuring simple rhymed text and high-energy graphic-style illustrations, this cheerful, funny easy reader is exactly what Dr. Seuss had in mind when he launched the Beginner Books series in 1957 with The Cat in the Hat. What's more, Staake's charming lizard shares an empowering "You can do it!" message with young readers.
I Can Explain
by Jamie LaingThe warm, funny and entertaining memoir of much-loved TV personality and loveable posh boy, Jamie Laing.Funny, charming, and romantic to a fault, everyone loves Jamie Laing. The affectionate and exuberant blonde puppy dog has come a long way - and broken many hearts - since he first graced our screens in 2011 as the joker of the King's Road on Made in Chelsea. Ten years on, he became king of the ballroom making the final of Strictly Come Dancing. Now he's ready to spill the tea - and (McVitie's) biscuits - about life, love and everything in between.From his idyllic upbringing in the countryside to the grey walls of boarding school, Jamie has always had a knack for getting himself into trouble. He reveals how he won popularity at school teaching the rest of the boys the proper way to ... [PARENTAL ADVISORY]. He hilariously recounts blagging his way into a casino aged 17, and winning so much money his mother thought he was a drug dealer. Jamie has been equally lucky with ladies, but not always quite the romantic hero he had in mind - unless sitting lovelorn outside a girlfriend's halls begging to be taken back while fending off abuse from drunk students calling out 'Made in Chelsea twat' counts as heroism?Jamie also writes movingly about his struggles off camera, which left him crippled with anxiety and led to his eventual burnout. Throughout it all he opens up about the importance of friendship and how his two ride-or-dies, Georgie and Spencer, have always been there for him. They've enabled Jamie to thrive as a confectionery king and genuinely change lives with his Private Parts podcast, while not letting him forget that he took part in The Great Celebrity Bake Off for Stand Up To Cancer despite not knowing how to pronounce the word 'meringue'. Candid, entertaining, and almost always ridiculous, this is the real Jamie Laing.
I Can Explain
by Jamie LaingThe warm, funny and entertaining memoir of much-loved TV personality and loveable posh boy, Jamie Laing.Funny, charming, and romantic to a fault, everyone loves Jamie Laing. The affectionate and exuberant blonde puppy dog has come a long way - and broken many hearts - since he first graced our screens in 2011 as the joker of the King's Road on Made in Chelsea. Ten years on, he became king of the ballroom making the final of Strictly Come Dancing. Now he's ready to spill the tea - and (McVitie's) biscuits - about life, love and everything in between.From his idyllic upbringing in the countryside to the grey walls of boarding school, Jamie has always had a knack for getting himself into trouble. He reveals how he won popularity at school teaching the rest of the boys the proper way to ... [PARENTAL ADVISORY]. He hilariously recounts blagging his way into a casino aged 17, and winning so much money his mother thought he was a drug dealer. Jamie has been equally lucky with ladies, but not always quite the romantic hero he had in mind - unless sitting lovelorn outside a girlfriend's halls begging to be taken back while fending off abuse from drunk students calling out 'Made in Chelsea twat' counts as heroism?Jamie also writes movingly about his struggles off camera, which left him crippled with anxiety and led to his eventual burnout. Throughout it all he opens up about the importance of friendship and how his two ride-or-dies, Georgie and Spencer, have always been there for him. They've enabled Jamie to thrive as a confectionery king and genuinely change lives with his Private Parts podcast, while not letting him forget that he took part in The Great Celebrity Bake Off for Stand Up To Cancer despite not knowing how to pronounce the word 'meringue'. Candid, entertaining, and almost always ridiculous, this is the real Jamie Laing.
I Can Explain
by Shinsuke YoshitakeA laugh-out-loud picture book about bad habits from internationally acclaimed author-illustrator Shinsuke Yoshitake.Nose picking? Nail biting? Wiping dirty hands on clothes? Before you call them "bad manners," consider the compelling reasons that may be behind these behaviors. For instance, jumping on the bed is great practice for when the road becomes a trampoline! Not being able to sit still might actually be the chair's fault! And what better way to train for the International Straw Chewing Contest than by chewing on straws?This hilarious picture book unpacks the reasons behind a variety of relatable behaviors. Clever and creative, it will inspire children and parents alike to expand their powers of reason and view their own habits in a new, humorous, and—most importantly—forgiving light. After all, there's an explanation for everything!ENCOURAGES CREATIVE THINKING: This humorous picture book encourages readers to laugh at their “bad habits.” Kids will delight in the narrator's endless explanations, which are at once hilarious, thoughtful, and absurd.A UNIQUE TAKE ON MANNERS: Manners matter, but we are only human! Thought-provoking scenarios make for fun (and forgiving) conversations about our silliest tendencies.PERFECT FOR REPEAT READS: With a comic-esque art style, an engaging story, a fast pace, and a charming voice, this humorous picture book will have young readers asking to read it again and again.FROM AN AWARD-WINNING AUTHOR: Fans of the critically acclaimed picture books The Boring Book and There Must Be More Than That! will immediately recognize author-illustrator Shinsuke Yoshitake's signature illustration style, humor, and imaginative sensibility.Perfect for:Fans of award-winning author-illustrator Shinsuke YoshitakeParents seeking a humorous book about mannersParents, grandparents, and caregivers
I Can Get It for You Wholesale: A Novel (The Harry Bogen Novels #1)
by Jerome WeidmanNew York Times–bestselling author: The classic comic story of a con man out to pull the job of a lifetime in New York&’s Garment District. Just south of Times Square, more than six thousand manufacturers of dresses are crammed into the few blocks that make up Manhattan&’s garment district. Their factories are cramped, noisy, and incredibly profitable—and Harry Bogen is going to take them for all they&’re worth. A classic conniver, he knows that it&’s easier, and a hell of a lot more fun, to turn a buck by lying than by telling the truth. First he convinces the shipping clerks—the pack animals of the garment industry—to go on strike. With the dress manufacturers brought to their knees, Harry will be there to pick them up again. His conscience might be conflicted, if he had one in the first place. A bracing comic sensation when first published, I Can Get It for You Wholesale remains a timeless masterpiece—its hero still a scoundrel, and his charm as irresistible as ever. This ebook features a foreword by Alistair Cooke.
I Can Has Cheezburger?: A LOLcat Colleckshun
by Professor Happycat icanhascheezburger.comThe Internet has provided us with many wonders, from skateboarding dogs to Chuck Norris facts. Over the past year, though, one sensation has dominated the Web: LOLcats. Here&’s how it works: First you find a picture of a cat online, and then you add a caption that reflects the cat&’s point of view. Just remember that although cats can speak English, their spelling and grammar is not so hot. Once you&’re done, you have a LOLcat (laugh out loud cat). Since its founding in January 2007, icanhascheezburger .com (named after the most famous LOLcat of all) has been the center of the LOLcat world. I Can Has Cheezburger? collects 200 LOLcats from the enormously popular site, some classic and some new, in glorious and glossy full color. The book also highlights legendary LOLcat forms recognizable to fans everywhere (including &“Do Not Want,&” &“Monorail Cat,&” and &“Oh Noes!&”), and offers a guide to the finer points of LOLspeak. Packed with witty and endearing images and published into a proven cat-egory, I Can Has Cheezburger? is sure to delight feline aficionados and Internet nerds alike.
I Can Help! (Green Light Readers Level 1)
by Peggy Perry AndersonWatch out! Rambunctious Joe is helping Mom run errands around town and Dad do chores around the house. But sometimes that leads to more mishaps and mischief than anyone in this loving frog family expects.. . and sometimes it can lead to a very bright idea. Simple words and dialogue create a perfect reading experience for Level 1 Green Light Readers.
I Can Lick 30 Tigers Today! And Other Stories
by Dr SeussThe Cat in the Hat tells us three zany stories-in-verse about his son, his daughter, and his great-great-grandfather.
I Can Only Draw Worms
by Will MabbittA hilarious picture book in bright, neon colors that is perfect for fans of The Book With No Pictures and The Day the Crayons Quit.This is part counting book, part introduction to worms, but all superbly silly. The fact that the author/illustrator can only draw worms will not take anything away from the laugh-out-loud adventure readers will have as they turn the pages of this slightly subversive picture book.
I Can Read With My Eyes Shut! (Beginner Books(R))
by Dr. SeussRead up a storm with Dr. Seuss and the Cat in the Hat–plus his friend Young Cat! The more that you read, the more things you will know. The more that you learn, the more places you&’ll go. The Cat in the Hat can read in purple and in brown, in a circle and even upside down! Can he teach Young Cat to do the same? A perfect stepping stone for emerging readers to show off their skills, this book will show kids all the wonderful ways and wonderful things you can read. Originally created by Dr. Seuss himself, Beginner Books are fun, funny, and easy to read. These unjacketed hardcover early readers encourage children to read all on their own, using simple words and illustrations. Smaller than the classic large format Seuss picture books like The Lorax and Oh, The Places You&’ll Go!, these portable packages are perfect for practicing readers ages 3-7, and lucky parents too!
I Can Read With My Eyes Shut! Read & Listen Edition (Beginner Books(R))
by Dr. SeussDr. Seuss and the Cat show that reading is fun—even when you don&’t look at the words!—in this classic Beginner Book. &“The more that you read, the more things you will know. The more that you learn, the more places you&’ll go.&” Whether reading in bed or in purple or brown, reading is fun—even upside down. And whether reading about hoses or roses or owls on noses, I Can Read with My Eyes Shut is a hysterical way to discover the joy of books. Originally created by Dr. Seuss, Beginner Books encourage children to read all by themselves, with simple words and illustrations that give clues to their meaning.This Read & Listen edition contains audio narration.
I Can See Clearly Now
by Brendan Halpin1972. A TV network under congressional pressure hires a group of young singer-songwriters to create educational cartoons. Holed up in a studio with unlimited pot, acid, and sex, the young artists and their self-serving mentor seem to have found an artistic utopia. But when jealousy and betrayal replace grammar and multiplication as the musicians' focus, they struggle to pull their project together before it tears them apart.
I Can See You Naked: A Fearless Guide to Making Great Presentations
by Ron Hoff&“America&’s best book on making presentations strikes again.&” –Don E. Shultz, Northwestern University The smart, witty, nationally bestselling guide to public speaking. &“If you get nervous, just picture everyone in the audience naked.&” We've all heard this piece of advice on public speaking before. But what about &“Keep the ball alive!&” or &“Be a bit of Springsteen&”? There&’s more to being a great speaker than removing your audience&’s clothes, and Ron Hoff&’s I CAN SEE YOU NAKED goes beyond the basics to cleverly and insightfully demonstrate what an effective and engrossing presentation should look like. Hoff packs his book with funny and functional advice on how to overcome stage-fright and deliver the best possible speech for every occasion. I CAN SEE YOU NAKED will have you confidently facing a waiting audience—and, naked or not, they&’ll be hanging on your every word.
I Can't Believe It's Not Buddha!: What Fake Buddha Quotes Can Teach Us About Buddhism
by BodhipaksaQuotes from the Buddha are everywhere: on Facebook, Instagram, coffee mugs, posters. There's only one problem: the Buddha didn't actually say most of them. This humorous and informative book takes these fake Buddha quotes as a launching point for a discussion on what the Buddha really did say, and is a great entry point for those interested in learning more about Buddhism--what it is, and what it isn't.Bodhipaksa, a well-known Buddhist teacher and the founder of fakebuddhaquotes.com, takes a look at some of the quotes that are erroneously attributed to the Buddha, explains the ways in which these disagree (or sometimes agree) with Buddhist teachings, and offers some genuine examples of the Buddha's words.The perfect gift for the Buddhist in your life and an essential addition to any Buddhist library, I Can't Believe It's Not Buddha! is at once humorous and scholarly, and a timely antidote to the "fake news" that can surround some of the Buddha's teachings.
I Can't Believe They Said That!: The Book of Outrageous Comments, Quips, and Zingers
by Boze HadleighGet ready to laugh out loud with I Can't Believe They Said That!, a riotous collection of the most outrageous and jaw-dropping zingers exchanged among the rich and famous that will leave you wondering, "Did they really just say that?!" The story of humankind has been filled with prevarication, equivocation, misdirection, and just plain over-the-top things people have said. I Can&’t Believe They Said That! entertains via shock and humor and flabbergasting things famous people have said—often about each other. Much of it is politically incorrect— the kind of thing someone will read and then repeat to someone else, saying, "Can you believe they said that?!"
I Can't Date Jesus: Love, Sex, Family, Race, and Other Reasons I've Put My Faith in Beyoncé
by Michael ArceneauxIn the style of New York Times bestsellers You Can’t Touch My Hair, Bad Feminist, and I’m Judging You, a timely collection of alternately hysterical and soul‑searching essays about what it is like to grow up as a creative, sensitive black man in a world that constantly tries to deride and diminish your humanity. <P><P>It hasn’t been easy being Michael Arceneaux. Equality for LGBT people has come a long way and all, but voices of persons of color within the community are still often silenced, and being black in America is…well, have you watched the news? With the characteristic wit and candor that have made him one of today’s boldest writers on social issues, I Can’t Date Jesus is Michael Arceneaux’s impassioned, forthright, and refreshing look at minority life in today’s America. <P><P>Leaving no bigoted or ignorant stone unturned, he describes his journey in learning to embrace his identity when the world told him to do the opposite. He eloquently writes about coming out to his mother; growing up in Houston, Texas; that time his father asked if he was “funny” while shaking his hand; his obstacles in embracing intimacy; and the persistent challenges of young people who feel marginalized and denied the chance to pursue their dreams. Perfect for fans of David Sedaris and Phoebe Robinson, I Can’t Date Jesus tells us—without apologies—what it’s like to be outspoken and brave in a divisive world.
I Can't Fool You
by Amy TaoDr. John tries to fool his patients by using the wrong tools. But they are too smart!
I Can't Get to Sleep
by Frank Rodgers"I can't get to sleep!" Tom calls down the stairs. Mum, Dad, Granny and Grandpa all take turns to tell him a bedtime story. Each time Tom closes his eyes, snuggles down under the quilt and begins to dream. Then, suddenly he's wide awake again! At last it's Tom's bear that provides the solution and soon boy and bear are sleeping soundly.
I Can't Make This Up: Life Lessons
by Kevin HartNew York Times bestselling author, superstar comedian, and Hollywood box office star Kevin Hart turns his immense talent to the written word in this &“hilarious but also heartfelt&” (Elle) memoir on survival, success, and the importance of believing in yourself.The question you&’re probably asking yourself right now is: What does Kevin Hart have that a book also has? According to the three people who have seen Kevin Hart and a book in the same room, the answer is clear: A book is compact. Kevin Hart is compact. A book has a spine that holds it together. Kevin Hart has a spine that holds him together. A book has a beginning. Kevin Hart&’s life uniquely qualifies him to write this book by also having a beginning. It begins in North Philadelphia. He was born an accident, unwanted by his parents. His father was a drug addict who was in and out of jail. His brother was a crack dealer and petty thief. And his mother was overwhelmingly strict, beating him with belts, frying pans, and his own toys. The odds, in short, were stacked against our young hero. But Kevin Hart, like Ernest Hemingway, J.K. Rowling, and Chocolate Droppa before him, was able to defy the odds and turn it around. In his literary debut, he takes us on a journey through what his life was, what it is today, and how he&’s overcome each challenge to become the man he is today. And that man happens to be the biggest comedian in the world, with tours that sell out football stadiums and films that have collectively grossed over $3.5 billion. He achieved this not just through hard work, determination, and talent. &“Hart is an incredibly magnetic storyteller, on the page as he is onstage, and that&’s what shines through [in this] genial, entertaining guide to a life in comedy&” (Kirkus Reviews).
I Can't Remember If We're Cheap or Smart: A Dilbert Book (Dilbert #39)
by Scott AdamsWhether avoiding pointless meetings with the clueless pointy-haired boss or angsting over insanely impossible sales goals, meaningless performance objectives, and a mind-numbing cubicle environment, Dilbert and his fellow corporate victims soldier on, providing a great humorous release for the great brotherhood of office drones. For more than 20 years, Dilbert has connected with the great unappreciated, making one and all wonder, "Has Scott Adams bugged our offices?" In I Can't Remember If We're Cheap or Smart, Scott once again demonstrates that through the dot-coms to the mortgage bubble burst to the new normal, Dilbert knows that the stuff of work is really funny business!
I Capture the Castle
by Dodie SmithStory of an eccentric 1930's family living in an English castle told from the point of view of the teenage daughter who wants to be a writer.
I Completely Know About Guinea Pigs
by Lauren ChildLola really likes guinea pigs. And she is absolutely VERY excited when Mrs. Hanson lets her take Bert, the class Guinea pig, home for the school vacation. Lola COMPLETELY knows how to take care of Bert. She gives him clean water every day, feeds him fruits and vegetables, and even makes him a guinea pig run. But then Bert escapes! He is COMPLETELY, extremely GONE! Will Charlie be able to help his little sister Lola find Bert before anything happens to him and before Lola has to go back to school?
I Could Chew on This: And Other Poems by Dogs
by Francesco MarciulianoA New York Times bestseller? Oh, you know the dogs weren't going to let the cats get away with that! This canine companion to I Could Pee on This, the beloved volume of poems by cats, I Could Chew on This will have dog lovers laughing out loud. Doggie laureates not only chew on quite a lot of things, they also reveal their creativity, their hidden motives, and their eternal (and sometimes misguided) effervescence through such musings as "I Dropped a Ball," "I Lose My Mind When You Leave the House," and "Can You Smell That?" Accompanied throughout by portraits of the canine poets in all their magnificence, I Could Chew on This is a work of unbridled enthusiasm, insatiable appetite, and, yes, creative genius.