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I Could Chew on This: And Other Poems by Dogs
by Francesco MarciulianoA New York Times bestseller? Oh, you know the dogs weren't going to let the cats get away with that! This canine companion to I Could Pee on This, the beloved volume of poems by cats, I Could Chew on This will have dog lovers laughing out loud. Doggie laureates not only chew on quite a lot of things, they also reveal their creativity, their hidden motives, and their eternal (and sometimes misguided) effervescence through such musings as "I Dropped a Ball," "I Lose My Mind When You Leave the House," and "Can You Smell That?" Accompanied throughout by portraits of the canine poets in all their magnificence, I Could Chew on This is a work of unbridled enthusiasm, insatiable appetite, and, yes, creative genius. Plus, this is a fixed-format version of the book, which looks nearly identical to the print version.
I Could Pee on This, Too: And More Poems by More Cats
by Francesco MarciulianoThere's a new cat in town! This feisty sibling of the international bestseller I Could Pee on This will be making its own sensational mark in the cat-poetry world. I Could Pee on This, Too explores fresh feline emotions and philosophical musings through cats' own poetry, such as "Welcome New Cat," "Sleeping My Life Away," and "You Also Live Here." Any cat lover who's longed for a deeper look into the enigmatic world of their cats will fall whiskers over paws for this well-versed follow-up.
I Could Pee on This, Too: And More Poems by More Cats
by Francesco MarciulianoThere's a new cat in town! This feisty sibling of the international bestseller I Could Pee on This will be making its own sensational mark in the cat-poetry world. I Could Pee on This, Too explores fresh feline emotions and philosophical musings through cats' own poetry, such as "Welcome New Cat," "Sleeping My Life Away," and "You Also Live Here." Any cat lover who's longed for a deeper look into the enigmatic world of their cats will fall whiskers over paws for this well-versed follow-up.
I Could Pee on This: And Other Poems by Cats
by Francesco MarciulianoThe internationally bestselling book of tongue-in-cheek poetry that set off a trend of feline funniness! Animal lovers will laugh out loud at the quirkiness of their feline friends with these insightful and curious poems from the singular minds of funny cats. The author of the internationally syndicated comic strip Sally Forth helps cats unlock their creative potential and explain their odd behavior to ignorant humans. With titles like "Who Is That on Your Lap?," "This Is My Chair," "Kneel Before Me," "Nudge," and "Some of My Best Friends Are Dogs," the poems collected in I Could Pee on This perfectly capture the inner workings of the cat psyche. With photos of the cat "authors" throughout, this whimsical poetry book reveals kitties at their wackiest and most exasperating (but always lovable). IDEAL CAT GIFT FOR CAT LOVERS: For that "crazy cat lady" or "cat mom/dad" in your life, this collection of poems makes for the perfect cat-themed gift for anyone who's obsessed with their pet. COMIC GEMS FOR ADULTS: The sublimely funny jokes within these poems will appeal to men and women of all ages but some of the kitty authors' language may be a bit salty for kids. MINI COFFEE TABLE BOOK: Enchant visitors with this hand-held volume of the best cat poetry sure to delight book lovers and humor enthusiasts alike. Perfect for: Cat ladies, cat gentlemen, and anyone who aspires to visit CatCon one day Fans of dad jokes, Shel Silverstein books and other funny poem writers, and bad kitty behavior in general Go-to gift for birthday, holiday, anniversary, Mother's Day for cat moms, Father's Day for cat dads, or pet adoption congratulations
I Curse You With Joy
by Tiffany HaddishTiffany Haddish is back with her highly anticipated new essay collection, I Curse You With Joy.It's been a minute. Readers last sat down with Tiffany in her bestselling debut The Last Black Unicorn. Since then, Haddish has catapulted to A-list fame as the breakout star of Girls Trip. She's walked the Oscars red carpet, released a hit stand-up special with Netflix, and made history as the first Black female comedian to host Saturday Night Live and Shark Week. But it hasn't been all VIP parties and free diving with apex predators. In these humorous and heartfelt essays, Tiffany gets real about the highs and lows of life. Believe it or not, there was a time when Tiffany didn't totally know who Tiffany was. Before she found her groove, she was on stage dressed like her snobby airline coworkers telling halfhearted dick jokes. She tanked. It took a fake penis, some help from friends, and a little encouragement from Bob Saget, but eventually Tiffany figured out Tiffany. I Curse You With Joy celebrates all the lessons she learned along the way--the joy and the pain. Tiffany reckons with the legacy of her childhood trauma, the challenges of being a Black woman in the entertainment industry, and her bittersweet reunion with her estranged father after twenty years apart. Don't worry, she's got plenty of advice to share, too. I Curse You With Joy is Tiffany Haddish unfiltered. (We know what you're thinking...how much more unfiltered can she get?) These essays lay it all bare, bringing readers into Tiffany's inner circle where joy, honesty, humor, and heart are the order of the day.
I Definitely Don't Like Winter
by Fiona BarkerHank and Hoog are best friends, but will their friendship survive the coming winter? A heartwarming friendship story perfect for the season!Hank and Hoog are best friends! They do everything together in the summertime. But one morning, a single crisp brown leaf falls on the ground. Hank is devastated. Winter is coming... and Hank DEFINITELY hates winter. But Hoog LOVES winter: the snow, festive spirit, and snuggles.Will their friendship survive the chilly weather?I Definitely Don't Like Winter is a humorous and heartwarming picture book about the friendship and what it means to meet in the middle with someone you love.The perfect read-aloud story for warm- and cold-weather lovers alike!
I Deserve All the Treats: Cat Affirmations for Health, Happiness, and World Domination
by Jennifer CalvertEmbrace the self-assuredness that keeps cats purring!Take it from the cats! No one knows inner peace like a smug tabby who’s knocked something breakable off a table they’re not supposed to be sitting on. There’s no crisis of confidence or lack of self-worth here. These house panthers know what they want and how to get it from doting and unsuspecting humans alike. And with more than 50 feline-inspired affirmations that are equal parts empowerment, Zen, and cattitude, you can follow in their confident pawprints. Brighten your mood and find your balance with mantras like:- I am a divine being.- Not every mess is mine to clean up.- I greet the morning with unbridled enthusiasm.Paired with playful illustrations that purrfectly capture the mischievous wit and self-possessed wisdom of cats, I Deserve All the Treats will leave you feeling calm, cool, and ready to take on (or over) the world!
I Did It His Way
by Johnny HartA side-splitting collection of comic strips from one of the most popular cartoonists in history!Legendary cartoonist, Johnny Hart, created two of the most popular comic strips in history: B.C. and Wizard of Id. When he became a Christian in 1984, Johnny turned his trademark wit and humor to matters of faith. Johnny passed away the day before Easter 2007 while at his drawing board. "This book is a dream that Johnny and I shared," says his wife, Bobby. "I knew I had to finish our dream."
I Did It! (I Like to Read Comics)
by Michael EmberleyLearning to ride a bike is hard. Can I do it? Yes, I can! A fun comic that kindergarteners and first graders can read on their own. <p><p>Can I do it? I can’t do it. I want to do it. I did it! <p><p>Simple text that new readers can read by themselves, along with delightful pictures in a comic format, show a little creature trying and trying again as she learns to ride a bicycle. All their friends help with supportive words of encouragement. “You did it!” her friends exclaim. <p><p>Comics-lovers can now share the fun with their kids, students, siblings, and younger friends who are learning to read! I Like to Read® Comics are perfect for kids who are challenged by or unengaged in reading, kids who love art, and the growing number of young comics fans. Filled with eye-catching art, humor, and terrific stories these comics provide unique reading experiences for growing minds. <p>This book has been officially leveled by using the Fountas & Pinnell Text Level GradientTM leveling system. <P><P><i>Advisory: Bookshare has learned that this book offers only partial accessibility. We have kept it in the collection because it is useful for some of our members. Benetech is actively working on projects to improve accessibility issues such as these.</i>
I Did My Homework in My Head: (And Other Wacky Things Kids Say)
by Alyssa Cowit Greg DunbarBased on the hit Instagram @LivefromSnackTime, here are irresistible quotes from the elementary school classroom that prove kids really do say the darndest things--and even more so when their parents aren't around.NYC school teacher Alyssa Cowit was so surprised by the funny things her students would say that she started an Instagram account to chronicle them. From friends, siblings, and pets to lying, love, and homework, the wisdom and witticisms on Live from Snack Time have been picked up by Today, Huffington Post, Good Housekeeping, Buzzfeed, and more. Now, Cowit collects her favorites plus never-before-seen ones in a sweet gift that celebrates the innocent (and sometimes not-so-innocent) revelations of children.
I Did Something Bad
by Pyae Moe WarIn this smart and swoony adventure rom-com, a journalist and a movie star find themselves teaming up to cover up a murder... What could possibly go wrong?When freelance journalist Khin Haymar is assigned by Vogue to get a scoop on Tyler Tun, Hollywood's hottest movie star, it's a dream come true. Tyler has returned home to Yangon to shoot his latest film, and if Khin gets an exclusive, she'll have a chance at securing a permanent position at the magazine.Tyler is notoriously private and doesn't show any signs of letting down his walls. But then one night on set, a man follows Khin into the park. When he threatens her, Tyler steps in and things escalate - fast. Khin knows they can't go to the police, even if this was self-defence.As Khin and Tyler work together to hide their secret, Tyler finally starts opening up. And when they find out Khin was targeted specifically, they grow even closer - leaving Khin feeling horribly guilty about her exposé... Before long, everything hangs in the balance. Will they get away with murder? Will Khin get her dream job? And is she willing to risk Tyler's trust in the process?
I Did Something Bad
by Pyae Moe WarIn this smart and swoony adventure rom-com, a journalist and a movie star find themselves teaming up to cover up a murder... What could possibly go wrong?When freelance journalist Khin Haymar is assigned by Vogue to get a scoop on Tyler Tun, Hollywood's hottest movie star, it's a dream come true. Tyler has returned home to Yangon to shoot his latest film, and if Khin gets an exclusive, she'll have a chance at securing a permanent position at the magazine.Tyler is notoriously private and doesn't show any signs of letting down his walls. But then one night on set, a man follows Khin into the park. When he threatens her, Tyler steps in and things escalate - fast. Khin knows they can't go to the police, even if this was self-defence.As Khin and Tyler work together to hide their secret, Tyler finally starts opening up. And when they find out Khin was targeted specifically, they grow even closer - leaving Khin feeling horribly guilty about her exposé... Before long, everything hangs in the balance. Will they get away with murder? Will Khin get her dream job? And is she willing to risk Tyler's trust in the process?
I Did Something Bad: A Novel
by Pyae Moe WarIn this smart and swoony adventure rom-com, a journalist and a movie star find themselves teaming up to cover up a murder...and falling for each other in the process.When freelance journalist Khin Haymar is assigned by Vogue to get a scoop on Tyler Tun, Hollywood’s hottest movie, she's determined to succeed. Tyler has returned home to Myanmar to shoot his latest film, and if Khin’s able to get an exclusive, there may well be a permanent position waiting for her at Vogue Singapore.Tyler has a very private life and doesn’t show any sign of letting down his walls for Khin. But then one night on set, a man follows Khin into the park. When he threatens her, Tyler steps in and things escalate fast. Khin knows they can’t go to the police, even if this was self defense, and even if this stranger seems to have targeted her specifically.As Khin and Tyler work together to hide their secret and find out more about her attacker, they grow closer and Tyler finally starts opening up. But now the idea of writing the article gives Khin an uncomfortable morality-related guilt. Before long, everything hangs in the balance. Will they get away with murder? Can Khin get the exposé she needs for her dream job? And is she willing to risk Tyler’s trust in the process?
I Didn't Ask to Be Born: (But I'm Glad I Was)
by Bill CosbyIn this hilarious collection of observations, Cosby brings us more of his wonderful and wacky insights into the human condition that are sure to become classics. In the tradition of Fat Albert, I DIDN'T ASK TO BE BORN offers a host of new characters, including Peanut Armhouse and Old Mother Harold. Not since Mushmouth, Dumb Donald, Bucky and the Cosby Kids has there been such a memorable cast.Over the past century few entertainers have achieved the legendary status of William H. Cosby Jr. His success spans five decades and virtually all media-remarkable accomplishments for a kid who emerged from humble beginnings in a Philly housing project.In the tradition of his bestselling books, Fatherhood and Cosbyology, the doctor of comedy holds forth on everything from first love to the Bible. Bill Cosby may not have asked to be born, but we're sure glad he was.
I Didn't Do My Homework Because...
by Benjamin Chaud Davide CaliHow many excuses are there for not doing homework? Let us count the ways: Giant lizards invaded the neighborhood. Elves hid all the pencils. And then there was that problem with carnivorous plants. . . . The excuses go on and on, each more absurd than the next and escalating to hilarious heights. Featuring detail-rich illustrations by Benjamin Chaud, this book is guaranteed to amuse kids and their parents, not to mention anyone who has experienced a slacker student moment--and isn't that everyone?
I Didn't Do My Homework Because...: Doodle Book Of Excuses
by Benjamin Chaud Davide CaliHow many excuses are there for not doing homework? Let us count the ways: Giant lizards invaded the neighborhood. Elves hid all the pencils. And then there was that problem with carnivorous plants.... The excuses go on and on, each more absurd than the next and escalating to hilarious heights. Featuring detail-rich illustrations by Benjamin Chaud, this book is guaranteed to amuse kids and their parents, not to mention anyone who has experienced a slacker student moment—and isn't that everyone? Plus, this is the fixed format version, which will look almost identical to the print version. Additionally for devices that support audio, this ebook includes a read-along setting.
I Didn't Know I Needed This: The New Rules for Flirting, Feeling, and Finding Yourself
by Eli RalloFrom TikTok star Eli Rallo, an irreverent, laugh-out-loud funny, and searingly honest take on modern dating and romance with tips, tricks, and survival-guide style rules.I Didn’t Know I Needed This is the dose of confidence every girl needs to live their life on their own terms. Eli Rallo is a social media superstar, a Carrie Bradshaw for the TikTok age, a true romantic at heart, and the best friend every young woman wishes she had. As someone who prides herself in feeling fully and deeply, Eli is on the ride with you, kissing the frogs, sending (and deleting) the risky DMs, climbing down frat house gutters, making the friends you’ll have for life, all while finding love and falling in love with yourself and learning that everything will be alright. In this earnest and vulnerable look at what it’s really like to date as a young woman in the modern world of dating apps, rotating rosters, and social media snafus, Eli gives her rules for each stage of the game—tried and true tricks of the trade.I Didn't Know I Needed This follows the natural lifecycle of dating, starting with being single, flirting, and navigating the apps to going on dates, having sex, falling in love, and managing relationships, to finally dealing with heartbreak, finding closure, prioritizing your friends, and honoring your life. Discover the rules that have worked for her, and garnered her more than a half million TikTok followers:prep for a first date like an athlete before a big gametry a person out in different settings before committing to themplan the second date while you’re out on the firstfind your perfect “eff me sweater”flirt with your partner, no matter how long you’ve been togethergive yourself a set mourning period to wallow after a breakup, and then stick to italways (always!) communicate your needs, wants, desires, and boundariesfind little ways to love your life and treat yourselfWith touching stories of her own adventures and mishaps, Eli helps you navigate dating in a way that’s frank, honest, funny, and relatable, giving the advice that you didn’t even know you needed.
I Do - Or Do I?
by Karen KingLocal journalist Cassie is getting married to hot-shot lawyer, reliable Timothy and his 'Monster-in-Law' mother Sylvia wants to plan the entire wedding. When Sylvia books the exclusive ID images to take photographs of the extravagant wedding, Cassie has no idea what she's walking into. The elusive JM who is the newest photographer employed just so happens to be Jared, Cassie's first love and ex-fiancée, who broke off their engagement to follow his life-long dreams. Jared is back to earn some cash before jetting off on his next wild adventure. When Cassie is asked to write an article with top tips and advice for Brides to Be, she jokingly writes a column depicting her current scenario and a co-worker submits it in place of the real article. Cassie's column is soon making the headlines with readers asking the age old question Who Will She Choose?
I Do Not Like Water
by Eva LindströmAlf is scared of water—but he&’s not about to let that keep him from enjoying summer with his water-loving friends. In this slyly humorous story, Alf creatively confronts his fears and comes up with a surprising solution.It&’s the summer and everyone is out swimming under the sun . . . well, almost everyone. While all his friends love canoeing down rivers and splashing in the community pool, Alf would rather remain on dry land. This makes hanging with his friends difficult! What can Alf do to enjoy his summer as much as his splish-splashing friends, without getting so much as a single toe wet? From one of Sweden&’s most beloved children&’s authors, I Do Not Like Water is an award-winning celebration of whimsical individuality and overcoming your fears.
I Do, I Do, I Do
by Samantha Scott-JeffriesRomance, revelations and fun in the Mediterranean sunIsabelle needs to get away from it all. With a boss from hell and a boyfriend so elusive he's almost non-existent, life's looking pretty drab. Then a humiliating cock-up costs Izzy her job and things seem so grim not even a shopping spree can lift her spirits. What's a girl to do? Six months as a wedding planner in Mallorca could be Izzy's answer. If she can't make it work with a man, at least she can help make other women happy with theirs. But when love is in the air, things don't always go the way you plan...
I Do? I Don't?
by Christine ScottONE BRIDE. TWO GROOMS.Niki Adams had finally gotten her life together. She was about to be married to a handsome doctor who treated her like gold. Everything was going great-until Jack Sinclair came home, declaring that he was the one she should be marrying.WHAT'S A GIRL TO DO?Niki had been in love with that rascal Jack her whole life, but he'd never seen her as a woman before. But now that she had a ring on her finger, he'd had a sudden change of heart! It was enough to make a person tie her bridal veil in knots. But Jack seemed determined to make this willful bride his own....
I Don't Believe It, Archie!
by Hannah Shaw Andrew NorrissOdd things happen to Archie every day. Some very odd things. On Monday, a piano rolls down the hill and traps his new friend Cyd in her mum's car. And then a truck tips a load of gravel on top of it. But don't worry--she's ok. Actually, Cyd finds it exciting though of course, she doesn't believe that this sort of thing happens to Archie every day--until they find themselves trapped in a house with a sedated lion trainer, and a very awake lion. Poor Archie! But as he soon discovers, if odd things have to happen to him, it's a lot better if they happen when Cyd's around. Join Archie and Cyd for a whole week's worth of completely surprising and outrageously funny escapades.
I Don't Care About Your Band
by Julie KlausnerRead Julie Klausner's posts on the Penguin Blog In the tradition of Cynthia Heimel and Chelsea Handler, and with the boisterous iconoclasm of Amy Sedaris, Julie Klausner's candid and funny debut I Don't Care About Your Band sheds light on the humiliations we endure to find love--and the lessons that can be culled from the wreckage. I Don't Care About Your Band posits that lately the worst guys to date are the ones who seem sensitive. It's the jerks in nice guy clothing, not the players in Ed Hardy, who break the hearts of modern girls who grew up in the shadow of feminism, thinking they could have everything, but end up compromising constantly. The cowards, the kidults, the critics, and the contenders: these are the stars of Klausner's memoir about how hard it is to find a man--good or otherwise-- when you're a cynical grown-up exiled in the dregs of Guyville. Off the popularity of her New York Times "Modern Love" piece about getting the brush-off from an indie rock musician, I Don't care About Your Band is marbled with the wry strains of Julie Klausner's precocious curmudgeonry and brimming with truths that anyone who's ever been on a date will relate to. Klausner is an expert at landing herself waist-deep in crazy, time and time again, in part because her experience as a comedy writer (Best Week Ever, TV Funhouse on SNL) and sketch comedian from NYC's Upright Citizens Brigade fuels her philosophy of how any scene should unfold, which is, "What? That sounds crazy? Okay, I'll do it. " I Don't Care About Your Band charts a distinctly human journey of a strong-willed but vulnerable protagonist who loves men like it's her job, but who's done with guys who know more about love songs than love. Klausner's is a new outlook on dating in a time of pop culture obsession, and she spent her 20's doing personal field research to back up her philosophies. This is the girl's version of High Fidelity. By turns explicit, funny and moving, Klausner's debut shows the evolution of a young woman who endured myriad encounters with the wrong guys, to emerge with real- world wisdom on matters of the heart. I Don't Care About Your Band is Julie Klausner's manifesto, and every one of us can relate. .
I Don't Care About Your Band: What I Learned from Indie Rockers, Trust Funders, Pornographers, Felons, Faux-Se nsitive Hipsters, and Other Guys I've Dated
by Julie KlausnerRead Julie Klausner's posts on the Penguin Blog In the tradition of Cynthia Heimel and Chelsea Handler, and with the boisterous iconoclasm of Amy Sedaris, Julie Klausner's candid and funny debut I Don't Care About Your Band sheds light on the humiliations we endure to find love--and the lessons that can be culled from the wreckage. I Don't Care About Your Band posits that lately the worst guys to date are the ones who seem sensitive. It's the jerks in nice guy clothing, not the players in Ed Hardy, who break the hearts of modern girls who grew up in the shadow of feminism, thinking they could have everything, but end up compromising constantly. The cowards, the kidults, the critics, and the contenders: these are the stars of Klausner's memoir about how hard it is to find a man--good or otherwise--when you're a cynical grown-up exiled in the dregs of Guyville. Off the popularity of her New York Times "Modern Love" piece about getting the brush-off from an indie rock musician, I Don't care About Your Band is marbled with the wry strains of Julie Klausner's precocious curmudgeonry and brimming with truths that anyone who's ever been on a date will relate to. Klausner is an expert at landing herself waist-deep in crazy, time and time again, in part because her experience as a comedy writer (Best Week Ever, TV Funhouse on SNL) and sketch comedian from NYC's Upright Citizens Brigade fuels her philosophy of how any scene should unfold, which is, "What? That sounds crazy? Okay, I'll do it." I Don't Care About Your Band charts a distinctly human journey of a strong-willed but vulnerable protagonist who loves men like it's her job, but who's done with guys who know more about love songs than love. Klausner's is a new outlook on dating in a time of pop culture obsession, and she spent her 20's doing personal field research to back up her philosophies. This is the girl's version of High Fidelity. By turns explicit, funny and moving, Klausner's debut shows the evolution of a young woman who endured myriad encounters with the wrong guys, to emerge with real- world wisdom on matters of the heart. I Don't Care About Your Band is Julie Klausner's manifesto, and every one of us can relate.
I Don't Care if You Like Me, I Like Me: Bernie Mac's Daily Motivational
by Bernie Mac Rhonda R. McCulloughListen up y&’all. Bernie Mac is back, and this here is his page-a-day prescription for a better life and career. You wanna be successful, don&’t ya? All you gotta do is read one page a day. So come on, let&’s start your edumacation right now.Are y&’all ready to get yourself together? It&’s time for you to start livin&’ your best life, and all you gotta do is read one got-d*mn page a day. You think you can handle that? Sure you can. You can do anything you wanna do, but you never gonna hit a home run if you ain&’t steppin&’ up to the plate. You got yourself a dream? You got a vision? There ain&’t no sugarcoatin&’ it. The only one who&’s gonna make it happen is you, but this book is gonna help. It&’s alright—we all need a little help once in a while. I Don&’t Care if You Like Me, I Like Me is 365 days of Bernie Mac tellin&’ it like it T-I-Iz. You gonna be gettin&’ some of his best advice, his personal stories showin&’ y&’all that what he&’s tellin&’ you works, and some commentary from Rhonda &’cuz that woman knows what's up. We&’re talkin&’ about bein&’ your best self, gettin&’ better in your relationships, findin&’ your place in the world, and openin&’ up that door to plentitude. So, the choice is yours. Are you ready to be the best sumb*tch you can be? You wanna be happy and successful? You got somethin&’ more important goings on right now? Quit procrasternatin&’ and do it. &“Bernie Mac had a way of telling it straight that made you listen and made you think. He was genuine, always positive, and truly cared if you were okay. I Don&’t Care if You Like Me, I Like Me is an undeniably funny and poignant strategy for reaching your fullest potential one day at a time.&” —Courtney B. Vance, Multi-Award-Winning Actor of Stage and Screen &“I&’ve never seen anything like I Don&’t Care if You Like Me, I Like Me. This book is self-help, Chicago-style. It&’s the perfect combination of comedy and truth, just like you&’d expect from Bernie Mac.&” —Sherri Shepherd, Award-Winning Actress, Comedian, and Talk Show Host &“I Don&’t Care if You Like Me, I Like Me is some straight-talking truth from the no-holds-barred Bernie Mac. His self-help approach makes you want to do exactly that—help yourself! His raw honesty will make you laugh, cry and possibly rethink your entire life.&” —Kym Whitley, American comedian and actress