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How to Make Yourself Miserable
by Dan Greenburg Marcia JacobsHow to be miserable by yourself, to lose friends, to lose your job, to avoid or destroy romantic relationships, etc.
How to Manage a Marquess (Spinster House #2)
by Sally MackenzieIn USA Today bestselling author Sally MacKenzie's charming Spinster House series, love is always a welcome guest...Two possible futures loom before Miss Anne Davenport. <P> The first option: sharing an unhappy home with her father and soon-to-be stepmother. The second: a life of independence at the Spinster House--if only her friend, Cat, would vacate the premises and marry the Duke of Hart. A well-placed whisper about the pair's secret tryst might speed the course of true love. But the duke's stubborn cousin poses an obstacle. A ridiculously handsome, very persuasive obstacle...Nate, Marquess of Haywood, has spent his life looking out for the duke, hoping to stave off a family curse. The only way to keep his cousin alive is to keep him single. That means convincing the intriguing Miss Davenport that her lovely lips could be put to far better use than gossiping. Kissing, for instance. In fact, Nate is beginning to hope that Miss Davenport's destiny lies not in the Spinster House at all, but with him ...Sally MacKenzie's novels are..."Naked, noble, and irresistible!" --Eloisa James"Perfect." --RT Book Reviews"Great fun." --Publishers Weekly
How to Marry a Rake (Diamonds Of Welbourne Manor Spin Off Ser. #1040)
by Deb MarloweThis spin-off from The Diamonds of Welbourne Manor is “a fun, flirty, fantastic read! . . . If you love Regency romances, don’t miss out on this one” (Love Romance Passion).Back from Europe, heiress Mae Halford has mended her heart after her friend Stephen Manning’s rejection. Looking radiant and full of confidence, she’s ready to find herself a husband!Only, the first man she bumps into at a Newmarket house party is Lord Stephen himself! When the two find themselves covertly working together to find a missing prized racehorse, romance blossoms. But can Mae believe that Stephen has changed enough that their adventure will lead to the altar?“A rollicking good story, How to Marry a Rake is Deb Marlowe at her best . . . The background of the Newmarket racing scene makes for a unique setting and there are plenty of secondary characters to add to this well-written story.” —Romance Reviews Today
How to Marry Keanu Reeves in 90 Days
by K.M. JacksonUSA Today bestselling author K.M. Jackson delivers a hilarious road-trip rom-com perfect for fans of Meet Cute and When Harry Met Sally. Bethany Lu Carlisle is devastated when the tabloids report actor Keanu Reeves is about to tie the knot. What?! How could the world's perfect boyfriend and forever bachelor, Keanu not realize that making a move like this could potentially be devastating to the equilibrium of...well...everything! Not to mention, he's never come face to face with the person who could potentially be his true soulmate—her. Desperate to convince Keanu to call off the wedding, Lu and her ride-or-die BFF Truman Erikson take a wild road trip to search for the elusive Keanu so that Lu can fulfill her dream of meeting her forever crush and confess her undying love. From New York to Los Angeles, Lu and True get into all sorts of sticky situations. Will Lu be able to find Keanu and convince him she's the one for him? Or maybe she'll discover true love has been by her side all along...Book Riot: Best 2021 Romantic Comedy Books
How to Mend a Broken Heart: The perfect escapist read to bring joy to your day!
by Katey LovellWhen you know how, you can make anything from scratch, including a new life after love...When Leanne and Richard bought a dilapidated old seaside cottage to renovate together as their forever home, their future was full of hope and promise. But heartbreak was just around the corner: fast forward a few months and Richard is gone. With his death, Leanne finds herself stony broke, faced with an uninhabitable home and lacking even the basic skills to do it up herself. With the help of the friendly woman who runs the library and the reluctant assistance of the man who works in the local hardware shop, the cottage is lovingly restored. But broken hearts aren't so easy to fix... are they?Here's what readers are saying about Make Do and Mend a Broken Heart:'An absolutely perfect contemporary fiction book''Emotional, uplifting and immensely enjoyable, Make Do and Mend a Broken Heart is a wonderful story about hope, fresh starts, moving on and healing that will touch your heart and soul''a superb story that will leave you feeling warm and fuzzy after reading... this book made me laugh and cry and I wish I could read it all over again and get to meet these amazing characters afresh''I am normally a hardened SF reader but all of Katey's books have me devouring them from cover to cover! Make Do is no different... Buy this book. Read this book. Tell your friends to do the same''This author is up there with the likes of Milly Johnson''A perfect break away from real life. It's a hug in a book''A beautiful, heartwarming story, perfectly told... for when you just need to escape for a while. Perfect!''A heartwarming uplit read... fantastic, engrossing, uplifting'
How to Mend a Broken Heart: The perfect escapist read to bring joy to your day!
by Katey LovellWhen you know how, you can make anything from scratch, including a new life after love...When Leanne and Richard bought a dilapidated old seaside cottage to renovate together as their forever home, their future was full of hope and promise. But heartbreak was just around the corner: fast forward a few months and Richard is gone. With his death, Leanne finds herself stony broke, faced with an uninhabitable home and lacking even the basic skills to do it up herself. With the help of the friendly woman who runs the library and the reluctant assistance of the man who works in the local hardware shop, the cottage is lovingly restored. But broken hearts aren't so easy to fix... are they?Here's what readers are saying about Make Do and Mend a Broken Heart:'An absolutely perfect contemporary fiction book''Emotional, uplifting and immensely enjoyable, Make Do and Mend a Broken Heart is a wonderful story about hope, fresh starts, moving on and healing that will touch your heart and soul''a superb story that will leave you feeling warm and fuzzy after reading... this book made me laugh and cry and I wish I could read it all over again and get to meet these amazing characters afresh''I am normally a hardened SF reader but all of Katey's books have me devouring them from cover to cover! Make Do is no different... Buy this book. Read this book. Tell your friends to do the same''This author is up there with the likes of Milly Johnson''A perfect break away from real life. It's a hug in a book''A beautiful, heartwarming story, perfectly told... for when you just need to escape for a while. Perfect!''A heartwarming uplit read... fantastic, engrossing, uplifting'
How to Move to Canada: A Discontented American's Guide to Canadian Relocation
by André Du BrocIf you're reading this book, you are one of the many looking for hope, for a way to escape the promise of the nightmare dystopia shortly to befall us. In this, your darkest hour, we have created this book to help guide you into this new journey of hope. We know you are short on time, who knows how long the apocalypse can be held at bay? Luckily for you, this book has all you need in quick, efficient reference format and activities, to help you get this journey underway!
How to Not Be a Dick: And Other Essential Truths About Work, Sex, Love—and Everything Else That Matters
by BrotherIn this full-color, illustrated guide, the wildly popular lifestyle brand Brother offers the definitive handbook to navigating life and becoming a somewhat respectable human beingLife can be complicated. From the classroom to the bedroom, the office to the DM, we could all use a little guidance—young guys especially. No one actually wants to be dick, but from time to time, everyone is. How do we know? Because we at Brother have spent years studying dickishness in all its forms, and we’re finally ready to present our findings, including:-The terrible people you should avoid at all costs-How to make more money (without working all that hard)-The dos and don'ts of sex-How to not be a dick at the gym-Acceptable coping mechanisms for adults-How to get your sh*t together in 10 stepsAnd so much more. Don’t worry, there are plenty of illustrations, too.
How to Not Give a F*ck at Christmas: A No F*cks Given Guide to Surviving the Holidays (A No F*cks Given Guide)
by Sarah KnightFor a stressed-out, overbooked, steadfast giver of too many f*cks, the holidays can be your Kryptonite. In this season of giving, spending, going, doing, and more, it's all too easy to wear yourself out pleasing everyone else. In The Life-Changing Magic of Not Giving A F*ck, Sarah Knight taught you how to shed your unwanted obligations, shame, and guilt, and devote your time and f*cks to things that make you happy. In this pint-sized ebook, she'll tell you how to apply the principles of not giving a f*ck that work for you 11 months of the year to the holiday season.
How to Outfox Your Friends When You Don't Have a Clue
by Jess KeatingWhat would middle school be like if you lived in a zoo? Just ask Ana Wright, star of the hilarious, award-nominated My Life is A Zoo series that combines first crushes, friendship fails...and pack dynamics. Surprise! Ana's long distance BFF is finally coming back to visit. But with her purple hair and new attitude, Liv is barely the girl Ana remembers. This new Liv probably thinks a birthday party at the zoo is lame. Maybe if Ana has a super-secret sleepover instead, she'd never have to introduce Liv to Ashley, former enemy and now Ana's best-ish friend. What could go wrong?Creature File for Liv: Species Name: Best Frendicus Kingdom: New Zealand Phylum: girl who used to be Ana Wright's best friend, girl who used to like getting milkshakes at Shaken, Not Stirred Feeds on: video chats with Leilani, attention from boysLife span: undetermined, but if things keep going the way they are, the lifespan of Ana and Liv, BFFs isn't going to be the "forever" they thought...Jess Keating combines the quirky humor and animal-centric plots of Carl Hiaasen with the awkward adolescent antics of Lauren Myracle in this fresh new middle grade series!Praise for How to Outrun a Crocodile When Your Shoes Are Untied (My Life is a Zoo Book 1): 2015 Red Maple Award nominee 2015-2016 Georgia Children's Book Award nominee "Keating delivers a fun-filled, pitch-perfect book...about the perils of being 12 in a snake-eat-snake world." - Kirkus STARRED Review "Life is literally a zoo for shy twelve-year-old Anna, who is trying to avoid seventh-grade bullies while hiding that her family lives among crocodiles and elephants." -Los Angeles Times "A menagerie of laugh-out-loud antics." --Anna Staniszewski, author of The Dirt Diary "A wild romp, filled with humor and heart." ~ Lisa Schroeder, author of It's Raining Cupcakes
How to Outrun a Crocodile When Your Shoes Are Untied
by Jess Keating"A wild romp, filled with humor and heart."--Lisa Schroeder, author of It's Raining Cupcakes and the Charmed Life series Ana Wright's social life is now officially on the endangered list: she lives in a zoo (umm, elephant droppings!?), her best friend lives on the other side of the world, and the Sneerers are making junior high miserable. All Ana wants is to fade into the background.Yeah, that's not going to happen. Creature File for Ana Wright:Species Name: Anaphyta Normalis Kingdom: The Zoo, Junior High Phylum: Girls Whose Best Friend Just Moved To New Zealand; Girls Who Are Forced To Live In A Zoo With Their Weirdo Parents And Twin Brother Weight: Classified Feeds On: Daydreams about Zackardia Perfecticus and wish cupcakesLife Span: Soon to become extinct due to social awkwardness
How to Pet a Cat
by Angela StaehlingKeep your cat happy and pet them right with this cute and handy illustrated guide!Cats have quite a few opinions, but with easy-to-follow instructions and helpful diagrams, this book will teach you how—and how not—to illicit approving purrs, mews, and chirps. From "The Booty Lift Pet" to the "I Need That Catnip on My Desk Yesterday Pet," learn over 20 tips and tricks to be the person your cat wants you to be. With bonus insights into cat sounds, body language, and more—as well as charming, full-color illustrations—this fun, lighthearted book will delight cat lovers of all kinds!FUNNY AND RELATABLE: Everyone who has tried to pet a cat has experienced most if not all of these silly and sweet scenarios.SWEET AND EDUCATIONAL: While quirky, this book is still informative and educational. You may learn a thing or two, like why your cat loves having their face pet but will leave the room if you try to give their belly a rub.CUTE GIFT: With endearing illustrations and tongue-in-cheek advice, this is a wonderful gift for any cat owner or cat lover!Perfect for:• Cat lovers• Holiday and birthday gift shoppers• Those looking for a silly pick-me-up and something cute• For fans of How to Tell if Your Cat is Plotting to Kill You, I Could Pee on This, and Herding Cats
How to Piss in Public: From Teenage Rebellion to the Hangover of Adulthood
by Gavin McinnesThough technically a memoir, this is more a compendium of hair-whitening bar stories that punch you in the throat until your eyes explode. Many people have watched their friends die and some have been to jail. There are those who have stepped in the ring with professional fighters and been beaten within an inch of their lives. Others have created media empires. Very few have done all this and embarrassed dozens of celebrities; enjoyed more than a couple of threesomes; brought the world "Warhol's Children"; consistently attracted a million views with viral comedy videos; said, "Jesus is gay," on national television; and made two American Indians from scratch. There certainly isn't anyone with this kind of life experience who can convey each tale in such a hilarious and endearing way. Whether he's watching his friend get decapitated on acid or snorting cocaine off women's breasts, McInnes only ever has one priority: maximum laughs. He's not here to tell you how wise his father is or how hard it was to achieve his success. He's here to make you laugh so hard, you puke. That's it.
How to Plan Your Own Destination Wedding: Do-It-Yourself Tips from an Experienced Professional
by Sandy MaloneTen years ago, when Sandy Malone was planning her Caribbean destination wedding, there was no Pinterest, no Instagram, and no Wedding Wire. The Knot and the Wedding Channel were in their infancy. And Malone was planning her wedding from scratch.The tips and advice in How to Plan Your Own Destination Wedding will help brides and grooms navigate the murky waters of destination-wedding planning—and they are murky because most do-it-yourself brides and grooms are looking to do something “different” from what all of their friends have done before them. Unfortunately, the more remote, bizarre, and challenging the destination is, the more attractive it appears to the do-it-yourself couple.That’s where Sandy Malone, star of Wedding Island (TLC), who has been planning weddings for ten years, comes in. She offers advice to brides and grooms on how NOT to spend money on things they don’t need to invest in, and where they DO need to spend money to make sure the event runs smoothly. She also gives tips on how to negotiate the contract with the venue, the “wetiquette” of invitations for destination weddings, finding and handling vendors abroad, and much more. This book offers the complete guide to destination weddings, by a true expert!
How to Plot a Payback
by Melissa FergusonHe crossed an ocean, and it still wasn&’t enough to escape his lifelong nemesis. Now he has to work with her.Successful screenwriter Finn Masters just landed his dream job writing for Neighbors, one of Hollywood&’s highest-rated, longest-running sitcoms. The only downside? It will put him back in proximity of the show&’s universally adored, optimistic, altruistic star, Lavender Rhodes, who has been inadvertently ruining his life since they were school chums in England. But she doesn&’t even know she destroyed his acting career and wrecked his relationship with the love of his life.He&’s not about to let this woman yank yet another dream out from under his feet. In fact, he realizes he&’s been given the ideal opportunity to plot his payback: spinning her character in shocking new directions. What could go wrong? Only everything. As Finn&’s not-so-brilliant plot backfires one scene after the next, catching him in the blasts, he&’s forced to think about this impossible, infuriating…and maybe even lovable woman in an entirely new light.Sweet romantic comedyStand-alone novelBook length: 88,000 wordsIncludes discussion questions for book clubs
How to Poo at Work
by Enzo MatsDon't let number 2 stop you from being number 1 on the job. Face the facts. You poop every day-more or less-but making a misstep when you've got to go at the office could land you in some serious doo-doo. How to Poo at Work is the ultimate guide to handling a range of potentially awkward situations, including what to do when: The boss is in the next stall The toilet gets clogged A colleague follows you into the bathroom There's no toilet paper Flush with useful diagrams, this handy book can save your career from going down the toilet.<P> Advisory: Bookshare has learned that this book offers only partial accessibility. We have kept it in the collection because it is useful for some of our members. To explore further access options with us, please contact us through the Book Quality link on the right sidebar. Benetech is actively working on projects to improve accessibility issues
How to Potty Train Your Porcupine
by Tom ToroThis laugh-out-loud picture book is a hilarious take on potty training by a talented New Yorker cartoonist -- perfect for fans of If You Give a Mouse a Cookie and How to Babysit a Grandma. Two children bring home a pet porcupine, but they can only keep her if she's house-trained! After a whirlwind of increasingly zany approaches, the kids learn that sometimes the best way to solve a problem is to ask nicely. With Tom's wit and dynamic artwork, this delightful story about learning to pee will bring joy and heart to young readers.
How to Profit from the Coming Rapture: Getting Ahead When You're Left Behind
by Barbara Davilman Ellis WeinerAre the end times near? Is the Rapture really just around the corner? Could Jerry Falwell and Pat Robertson possibly be right? About 1 billion people among us believe, yes, absolutely. And that means one thing: investment opportunities! For those who are not as expertly versed in the Book of Revelation, Ellis Weiner and Barbara Davilman, authors of the bestselling Yiddish with Dick and Jane, helpfully offer both illumination and advice: What exactly is the Rapture, anyway? How is it different from the Tribulation? Who are the Antichrist, the Four Horsemen, and the 144,000 male virgins, and what do they want? And, most important, how can I make money during the 7 years of societal breakdown before Armaggedon? Taking the familiar form of a how-to investment guide, HOW TO PROFIT FROM THE COMING RAPTURE instructs those readers who will certainly be left behind (Jews, Catholics, Muslims, Buddhists, Hindus, less ardent Protestants, and many more) on how to exploit the inevitable demise of the world in order to make a tidy profit. Sure, the rivers and seas will run with blood, locusts will swarm, mountains will move all over the place, and famine will strike. But for the five billion of us left behind, the post-Rapture world will be a time of even more unique investment opportunities.
How to Promenade with a Python: A Polite Predators Book (Polite Predators #1)
by Rachel PoliquinIn this hilarious non-fiction chapter book series, a savvy cockroach shares wise tips and tricks to surviving an encounter with a charming predator who may (or may not) want to be your friend.Celeste is a cockroach, and everyone knows that cockroaches are survivors, so who better to give advice on surviving an encounter with a polite predator? Everyone also knows that taking a moonlit promenade with a deadly reticulated python (named Frank) is a very bad idea. But Celeste loves very bad ideas, and she is willing to put your life on the line to prove herself right! Need to stop a python from swallowing you head-first? Wear a lamp shade as a hat! Want to speed up a three-hundred-pound snake? Try roller skates! What's the perfect light snack for a python? A chicken! Using her superior pythonine knowledge, Celeste comes up with various strategies and solutions -- many dangerous, most absurd, but all based on the biology of pythons. Meanwhile, Frank is hatching his own plans.Rachel Poliquin has created a delightfully preposterous premise that, combined with Kathryn Durst's hilarious illustrations, will have readers laughing out loud as they learn about python biology and hunting behavior.
How to Prosper In the Coming Apocalypse
by Richard CurtisWorried about inflation? Concerned about nuclear arms in the hands of terrorists? Nervous about fuel costs? This investment guide and survivalist's handbook in one is all you need to gear up for windfall profits while friends and in-laws lose their shirts. This book will enable you to watch the final convulsions of civilization from the veranda of your country estate. Invaluable strategies and suggestions include tips on: Finding and fortifying your rural hideaway (Do keep a spare copy of the minefield map; don't run the toaster while the electric fence is on.)New careers in Armageddon--people are going to need marksmanship lessons, evacuation luggage, places to flee (group rates available for mass stampedes)Plan ahead and cash in when the panic hits! The Scarcity Investment Plan--Stock up now on valium, lead shields, and bankruptcy forms. (Full details available in our monthly newsletter--subscribe!)Doomsday etiquette--looting protocol, dressing for a food riot, bomb shelter decor, a basic getaway wardrobe. (Don't forget trinkets for the natives; do wear comfortable shoes.) When the trumpets sound--and the end of the world is nigh--remember to pick up your dry cleaning, cancel your subscription to TV Guide, and call your mother. And don't forget to pack your copy of How to Prosper in the Coming Apocalypse.
How To Pull Girls: An Insider Guide To Success With Women
by Julia BruniFor many men, changes in society have made it harder to get to know women and pulling has become more difficult than it's ever been. The result is that many capable and otherwise successful young men feel frustrated by not having a girlfriend - or even a lay. How to Pull Girls gives the lowdown on how to meet and charm girls. Whether you need to relax and set women at ease, or to understand how girls think and what motivates them, Julia Bruni has all the insider information, analysing the pulling game from every angle. How to Pull Girls is packed full with useful strategies and techniques for every stage of the women-charming mission and will transform you from a Mr Normal to a James Bond in a matter of minutes. This is the essential pulling tool kit 'Women, be warned. Julia's on their side and she is telling them our secrets!'' Kathy Lette
How To Pursue A Princess: Duchess Diaries 2 (Duchess Diaries #3)
by Karen HawkinsA wonderfully romantic and playful twist on Little Red Riding Hood, from New York Times bestseller Karen Hawkins, that fans of Julia Quinn, Monica McCarty and Julie Garwood will adore. The Duchess Diaries are sure to delight: a dazzlingly romantic, sexy, and Scottish spin on fairytales.Lily Balfour always swore she'd never marry, but her father's mountainous debts leave her no choice. The Earl of Huxley, a wealthy and perfectly pleasant widower handpicked by her godmother, the Duchess of Roxburghe, seems the obvious suitor. Until the roguish Wulfinski arrives on the scene and changes everything... As soon as the passionate scoundrel casts his possessive gaze over her, Lily knows she's in trouble. A prince masquerading as a mere pauper, Wulfinski vows to seduce the elusive beauty, no matter what the cost. Used to getting what he wants, he determines to use every cunning trick he can muster. Caught between sense and passion, her head and her heart, will Lily give in to romance, or riches? Don't miss the rest of the sparkling Duchess Diaries series: Princess In Disguise, How To Capture A Countess, and How To Entice An Enchantress. And mingle with more royalty in her spectacular Princes of Oxenburg series.
How to Quinoa: Life Lessons from My Imaginary Well-Dressed Daughter
by Tiffany BeveridgeMEET QUINOA! She’s the fearless and fashion-forward toddler taking over the world one elaborate play date at a time. From designer duds to posh friends to even the most avant-garde snack foods, Quinoa is setting trends and taking names. (In fact, see her list of approved baby names inside. ) She’s got more cool factor than the Kardashian, Jolie-Pitt, and Paltrow offspring combined. Oh yeah . . . she’s also imaginary. Based on the wildly popular Pinterest board, My Imaginary Well-Dressed Toddler Daughter, How to Quinoa will take you on a tour of high fashion hilarity with snapshots and stories from the life of the world’s most influential toddler, plus tips and best practices to transform your own life and wardrobe from snore to roar. Quinoa will show you how to do everything from raising a superior child to securing a compatible BFF. And from finding your own path to designer happiness to practicing on-trend hobbies like drinking flavored lemonades from mason jars. So, ask yourself this: Are you ready to Quinoa?
How to Raise a Billionaire Genius: Guarantee Your Crying Poop Monster Grows Up to be Better Than All the Other Kids
by D. Hornby Sean CampbellFrom attachment-parenting hugs to Tiger Mom discipline, the so-called experts offer plenty of contradictory advice on how to raise the perfect child. So don't bother with their boring theories and instead follow the hilarious, if not so expert, suggestions in this book and surely (well, maybe) your precious offspring will turn out to be exactly what you want.*Forget Mozart-inspire a BILLIONAIRE in the womb by playing stock market bells and yelling like rally-crazed brokers.* A GENIUS isn't made playing hide-and-seek, so stop your offspring from playing games with IQ-draining friends.* A SUPER MODEL can't have fat (not even baby fat), so start her at birth on a diet of painkillers, cigarettes and vodka.
How to Raise a Boyfriend
by Rebecca EcklerRebecca Eckler shows women everywhere that while they're busy offering not-so-casual advice and reprimands to the men in their life, they've lost sight of an important fact: they're not dating a boyfriend, they're raising a boyfriend.He wandered away from the checkout, leaving her to cope with an overflowing shopping car. He dashed in front of her to cross a busy intersection without so much as a backwards glance. He forgot -- forgot! -- to meet her at the airport after a trip. And then an inescapable truth settled in: Rebecca Eckler already had a six-year-old daughter, so what was she doing with a boyfriend who was even worse behaved? There were only two options. Dump the sucker and concentrate on raising her child. Or raise her boyfriend, too.From making introductions, to offering compliments, to saying you're sorry, boyfriends need to be raised with the same lessons we use on our kids. As Rebecca writes, "If I can raise a child -- a smart, kind and polite one -- surely I can raise a boyfriend, too."From the Trade Paperback edition.