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How to Teach Relativity to Your Dog
by Chad OrzelIn this accessible introduction to general and special relativity for students and general readers, Orzel (physics, Union College) explains concepts such as the Big Bang to Nero, a cat who believes he is the center of the universe, and Emmy, the dog who mastered quantum physics in Orzel's previous book. The book alternates between humorous human-pet dialogues and plain language explanations using everyday examples. It includes b&w illustrations explaining concepts, plus an extensive glossary and a brief bibliographic essay. Annotation ©2012 Book News, Inc. , Portland, OR (booknews. com)
How to Teach Your Cat a Trick: in Five Easy Steps (How to Cat books)
by Nicola WinstanleyIn this hilarious and clever follow-up to How to Give Your Cat a Bath, a boy, a dog and a know-it-all narrator are thwarted by a cat who refuses to learn a trick. The perfect read-aloud for fans of Interrupting Chicken.Step one: Decide on a trickStep two: Get some treats readyStep three: Hold the treat in your hand and ask your cat to do the trickStep four: Watch your cat do exactly what you asked him to doStep five: Reward your cat for doing the trick Simple, right? This spoof on an instruction manual features an increasingly bewildered human, a nonchalant cat, a very good dog and a know-it-all narrator . . . who really doesn't know it all. How DO you teach a cat a trick? Read on to find out!
How to Teach Your Dog to Drive
by Mike HaskinsIs your eyesight failing, are you not very good at driving yourself, or are you simply blind drunk? These are just a few of the reasons why it would make perfect sense to teach your dog to be your new chauffeur.Here, for the first time, is a complete guide: how to get your dog acquainted with the controls, which breeds are the safest drivers, frequently asked questions; and how to get your dog successfully through their tests.Never again need you wait for a taxi, or make that long highway drive unassisted. If you are a dog owner and a car owner, then How to Teach Your Dog to Drive will be the most useful book you buy this year, or even this decade . . .
How to Teach your Dog to Drive
by Mike HaskinsIs your eyesight failing, are you not very good at driving yourself or are you simply blind drunk? These are just a few of the reasons why it would make perfect sense to teach your dog to be your new chauffeur. Here, for the first time, is a complete guide: how to get your dog acquainted with the controls, which breeds are the safest drivers, frequently asked questions; and how to get your dog successfully through their tests.Never again need you wait for a taxi, or make that long motorway drive unassisted. If you are a dog owner and a car owner, then How to Teach Your Dog to Drive will be the most useful book you buy this year, or even this decade . . .
How to Tell a Joke: An Ancient Guide to the Art of Humor (Ancient Wisdom for Modern Readers)
by Marcus Tullius CiceroTimeless advice about how to use humor to win over any audienceCan jokes win a hostile room, a hopeless argument, or even an election? You bet they can, according to Cicero, and he knew what he was talking about. One of Rome’s greatest politicians, speakers, and lawyers, Cicero was also reputedly one of antiquity’s funniest people. After he was elected commander-in-chief and head of state, his enemies even started calling him “the stand-up Consul.” How to Tell a Joke provides a lively new translation of Cicero’s essential writing on humor alongside that of the later Roman orator and educator Quintilian. The result is a timeless practical guide to how a well-timed joke can win over any audience.As powerful as jokes can be, they are also hugely risky. The line between a witty joke and an offensive one isn’t always clear. Cross it and you’ll look like a clown, or worse. Here, Cicero and Quintilian explore every aspect of telling jokes—while avoiding costly mistakes. Presenting the sections on humor in Cicero’s On the Ideal Orator and Quintilian’s The Education of the Orator, complete with an enlightening introduction and the original Latin on facing pages, How to Tell a Joke examines the risks and rewards of humor and analyzes basic types that readers can use to write their own jokes.Filled with insight, wit, and examples, including more than a few lawyer jokes, How to Tell a Joke will appeal to anyone interested in humor or the art of public speaking.
How to Tell if Your Boyfriend Is the Antichrist
by Michael Miller Patricia CarlinBoyfriend From Hell or Perfect Angel? Your days of dating liars, cheaters, and total scumbags are over! Here are identifying characteristics for more than 70 potential boyfriends, along with advice about who to keep and who to kick to the curb. Find out if your guy is: * Married with Children * A Cult Leader * A Player * An Extraterrestrial * Actually Twins * And Dozens More! Includes a handy index of personality traits so you can quickly decipher the hidden meaning of all your boyfriend's behaviors.From the Hardcover edition.
How to Tell Your Friends From the Apes (Nonpareil Book)
by Will Cuppy P. G. Wodehouse JacksWill Cuppy was one of the original staff of Harold Ross’s New Yorker and the author of How to Be a Hermit and How to Become Extinct. He is also, says P.G.Wodehouse in his introduction, “the author of the best thing said about Pekingese, viz. ‘I don’t know why they should look so conceited. They’re no better than we are.'” This quip sounds the characteristic Cuppy note: concisely expressed misanthropy, a.k.a. pith and vinegar. About the title: “I grant you there are plenty of old-fashioned and pretty ineffective ways to tell your friends from the Apes,” confesses the author. “What could be simpler, for instance, when you are at the zoo? The Apes are in cages. Yes, but when you are not at the zoo, what then?” “Then” is when we need to be taken by Mr. Cuppy’s incomparable hand, which, unlike the chimpanzee’s, is clean and has an opposable thumb.
How to Think Like a Cat
by Stéphane GarnierDo cats worry about retirement? Nope. Do cats do things they don’t want to do? Definitely not. Do cats rush around at all hours of the day when they’d rather be licking their paws and looking out a window? Please. Calm, free, charismatic, wise, elegant, self-assured—our beloved feline pets strut those traits that we humans spend a lifetime aspiring to. No wonder everybody wants to be more like a cat. After observing his own cat, Ziggy, for years, bestselling French author Stéphane Garnier decided that he would be much happier if he could just live more like Ziggy. Closer study only confirmed his suspicion that cats have that je ne sais quoi, and he set out to share Ziggy’s innate wisdom with the world. Whether at work, at home, or in your social life, your cat can teach you how to manage stress, cultivate independence, and live life on your terms. Peppered with humorous yet inspiring tips for living a day in the life of a cat, cat secrets from Ziggy, and a quiz to assess your “cat quotient,” How to Think Like a Cat is an inspiring, humorous, and remarkably insightful guide to the subtle art of living like a feline.
How to Think Right
by Brad StineGood, clean humor about a dirty word-liberalism Watch out, blue-staters: Brad Stine is about to spoil your party. This conservative Christian comedian doesn't use profanity to get laughs, just good old-fashioned common sense. In How to Think RightHow to Think Right will come as a breath of fresh air-if only you can stop laughing.
How to Think Right
by Brad StineGood, clean humor about a dirty word--liberalism Watch out, blue-staters: Brad Stine is about to spoil your party. This conservative Christian comedian doesn't use profanity to get laughs, just good old-fashioned common sense. In How to Think Right), Stine takes aim at a host of sacred cows, delivering hilarious and insightful commentary on topics such as "How Liberals Have Created a Nation of Wusses," "How Bumper Stickers Can Teach You Religion and Science," and "Why Dangerous Toys are Good for America's Kids." For anyone who's had enough of latte-drinking, Volvo-driving, politically correct liberal America, How to Think Right will come as a breath of fresh air--if only you can stop laughing.
How to Throw a Golf Club: Learn to Throw for Distance and Accuracy
by Tom CareyClub throwing is an art! It relieves stress, burns calories and it keeps the other players on the course on their toes. So there's no need to lie, no need to be embarrassed. You're a club thrower--welcome to the club.Here's your official guide to the art of club throwing, and it includes:--Throwing clubs for distance and accuracy--Club throwing Q&A--The 20 basic throws --What to do when you're REALLY teed off
How to Toilet Train Your Cat & 61 Other Ill-Conceived Projects: And 61 Other Ill-Conceived Projects
by Bathroom Readers' InstituteFor more than 25 years, Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader has helped you learn amazing things you didn’t know (and amazing things you didn’t know you didn’t know). Now, Uncle John will show you how to do things you didn’t know how to do. . . and probably shouldn’t ever, ever, ever actually do. It’s Uncle John’s How to Toilet Train Your Cat. A new approach to survival guides and how-to books, this book provides step-by-step instructions for how to make commonplace items. If you’re expecting "how to make your own beef jerky,” think again. This book shows how the "sausage is made”--literally. Read all about: *How to make gelatin from scratch (by boiling hooves) *How to make high fructose corn syrup *How to make glue the "old-fashioned” way (from animal hides) *How to build a nuclear reactor *How to embalm a corpse *How to make prison wine *How to turn a cow into a hamburger *How to make a diamond *How to make electricity *How to remove your own appendix *And lots, lots more!
How to Train a Tooth Fairy (Magical Creatures and Crafts #9)
by Sue FliessWhat happens when you have a loose tooth, but it's the Tooth Fairy's first day on the job? How will she find you and where will she leave her gifts? In this installation of Sue Fliess and Simona Sanfilippo's Magical Creatures and Crafts series, a group of children wonder what happens if the Tooth Fairy assigned to collect their most recent lost tooth is brand new to her job. How will she know where to find the tooth? What if she goes to the wrong room? To help the Tooth Fairy remember her training, the children devise a plan that will guarantee her success! With the right supplies—colored paper, crayons or pens, scissors, stickers and glitter, and ribbon—young readers who have a wiggly tooth or have recently lost a baby tooth can also help train their Tooth Fairy by making a sign for their bedroom doors similar to the ones the children make in the book. Fliess&’s bouncy read-aloud rhyming text and Sanfilippo&’s energetic, whimsical illustrations will bring joy to young readers as they watch the children create a scene that will direct the little Tooth Fairy to the tooth she seeks. Also included are guides for teachers and parents about the origin and history of the Tooth Fairy, as well as instructions for making the craft featured in the book.
How To Train Your Dragon: How to Betray a Dragon's Hero
by Cressida CowellIn Hiccup the Viking's misadventures, the stakes have never been higher, and it's friend versus foe to decide the fate of the world. In this, the penultimate title in the amazing story arc that began with How to Train Your Dragon, Hiccup is faced with a personal dilemma against the backdrop of an impending battle and the possible destruction of everything he knows.
How to Train Your Dragon: How to Cheat a Dragon's Curse
by Cressida CowellIn his 4th sidesplitting adventure, Hiccup Horrendous Haddock III must rescue his best friend, Fishlegs, from the deadly disease Vorpentitis. The only cure is rare and almost impossible to find...a potato. But where will Hiccup find such a thing? He'll have to dodge the terrible Sharkworms, battle Doomfangs, and outwit crazy Hooligans if he's going to be a Hero...again.A fast paced plot, slapstick humor, witty dialogue and imaginative black and white illustrations enhance this exciting tale.
How to Train Your Dragon: A Hero's Guide to Deadly Dragons
by Cressida CowellIt's Hiccup's birthday, but that's not going to keep him from getting into trouble. To save his dragon, Toothless, from being banished, Hiccup must sneak into the Meathead Public Library and steal the Viking's most sacred book. But the Vikings see books as a dangerous influence, and keep them locked up and under heavy guard. To save his friend, Hiccup must brave the Hairy Scary Librarian and his dreadful army of Meathead Warriors and face off against the formidable Driller-Dragons. Will he make it out and live to see his next birthday?
How to Train Your Dragon: How to Fight a Dragon's Fury
by Cressida CowellBook 12 is the epic finale to the New York Times bestselling How to Train Your Dragon series! The Doomsday of Yule has arrived, and the future of dragonkind lies in the hands of one boy with nothing to show, but everything to fight for. Hiccup's quest is clear... But can he end the rebellion? Can he prove himself to be king? Can he save the dragons? The stakes have never been higher, as the very fate of the Viking world hangs in the balance!
How to Train Your Dragon: Book 1 (How To Train Your Dragon Ser. #12)
by Cressida CowellRead the HILARIOUS books that inspired the HOW TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGON films! Hiccup Horrendous Haddock the Third is a smallish Viking with a longish name. Hiccup's father is chief of the Hairy Hooligan tribe which means Hiccup is the Hope and the Heir to the Hairy Hooligan throne - but most of the time Hiccup feels like a very ordinary boy, finding it hard to be a Hero. In the first How to Train Your Dragon book Hiccup must lead ten novices in their initiation into the Hairy Hooligan Tribe. They have to train their dragons or be BANISHED from the tribe FOR EVER!But what if Hiccup's dragon resembles an ickle brown bunny with wings? And has NO TEETH? The Seadragonus Giganticus Maximus is stirring and wants to devour every Viking on the Isle of Berk . . .Can Hiccup save the tribe - and become a Hero?How to Train Your Dragon is now a major DreamWorks franchise starring Gerard Butler, Cate Blanchett and Jonah Hill and the TV series, Riders of Berk, can be seen on CBeebies and Cartoon Network.
How to Train Your Dragon: Book 4 (How To Train Your Dragon Ser. #4)
by Cressida CowellRead the HILARIOUS books that inspired the HOW TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGON films! Hiccup Horrendous Haddock the Third is a smallish Viking with a longish name. Hiccup's father is chief of the Hairy Hooligan tribe which means Hiccup is the Hope and the Heir to the Hairy Hooligan throne - but most of the time Hiccup feels like a very ordinary boy, finding it hard to be a Hero. Hiccup's best friend Fishlegs thinks he has a nasty cold, but Old Wrinkly has diagnosed . . . VORPENTITIS, caused by the sting of a Venomous Vorpent, which is pretty much ALWAYS FATAL!The only antidote is the Vegetable-that-No-one-Dares-Name - the POTATO. But the only way for Hiccup to find the cure is to face Norbert the Nutjob and the terrifying Sea Dragon, the DOOMFANG. Can Hiccup survive the quest to save his best friend - and discover how to cheat a dragon's curse?How to Train Your Dragon is now a major DreamWorks franchise starring Gerard Butler, Cate Blanchett and Jonah Hill and the TV series, Riders of Berk, can be seen on CBeebies and Cartoon Network.
How to Train Your Dragon: Book 9 (How To Train Your Dragon Ser. #9)
by Cressida CowellRead the HILARIOUS books that inspired the HOW TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGON films! Hiccup Horrendous Haddock the Third is a smallish Viking with a longish name. Hiccup's father is chief of the Hairy Hooligan tribe which means Hiccup is the Hope and the Heir to the Hairy Hooligan throne - but most of the time Hiccup feels like a very ordinary boy, finding it hard to be a Hero. Bad times have come to the Archipelago. Ever since the woods of Berserk burned down, it is almost as if the world is cursed. Dragons are starting to revolt against their Masters. The waters have risen, flooding fields and washing whole villages away. But worse still, the wicked witch Excellinor has returned. Can Hiccup find the King's Things and win the sword-fighting contest to stop Alvin the Treacherous from becoming King of the Wilderwest?***Please note this ebook is TEXT ONLY and does not include the illustrations that appear in the printed book.***READ ALL 12 BOOKS IN THE SERIES!You don't have to read the books in order, but if you want to, this is the right order:1. How to Train Your Dragon2. How to Be a Pirate3. How to Speak Dragonese4. How to Cheat a Dragon's Curse 5. How to Twist a Dragon's Tale6. A Hero's Guide to Deadly Dragons7. How to Ride a Dragon's Storm8. How to Break a Dragon's Heart9. How to Steal a Dragon's Sword10. How to Seize a Dragon's Jewel11. How to Betray a Dragon's Hero12. How to Fight a Dragon's FuryHow to Train Your Dragon is now a major DreamWorks franchise starring Gerard Butler, Cate Blanchett and Jonah Hill and the TV series, Riders of Berk, can be seen on CBeebies and Cartoon Network.
How to Train Your Dragon: Book 7 (How To Train Your Dragon Ser. #7)
by Cressida CowellRead the HILARIOUS books that inspired the HOW TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGON films! Hiccup Horrendous Haddock the Third is a smallish Viking with a longish name. Hiccup's father is chief of the Hairy Hooligan tribe which means Hiccup is the Hope and the Heir to the Hairy Hooligan throne - but most of the time Hiccup feels like a very ordinary boy, finding it hard to be a Hero. Trapped on The American Dream II with his friends Fishlegs and Camicazi, Hiccup must ESCAPE the barbarian Norbert the Nutjob, and somehow dodge the cruel Polar-serpents in the icy waters below. If ONLY Hiccup hadn't promised to help the Wanderer slaves on board escape too! HOW will Hiccup save himself, his friends and a hundred and twenty-two Wanderers off a ship WITHOUT their terrifying captors noticing?How to Train Your Dragon is now a major DreamWorks franchise starring Gerard Butler, Cate Blanchett and Jonah Hill and the TV series, Riders of Berk, can be seen on CBeebies and Cartoon Network.
How to Train Your Dragon: Book 5 (How To Train Your Dragon Ser. #5)
by Cressida CowellRead the HILARIOUS books that inspired the HOW TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGON films! Hiccup Horrendous Haddock the Third is a smallish Viking with a longish name. Hiccup's father is chief of the Hairy Hooligan tribe which means Hiccup is the Hope and the Heir to the Hairy Hooligan throne - but most of the time Hiccup feels like a very ordinary boy, finding it hard to be a Hero. Over on Lava-Lout Island, the volcano is ready to blow. Now Hiccup faces a terrifying Quest to Stop the Volcano Exploding, alongside his best friend Fishlegs and Humungously Hotshot the ex-Hero.But not only is Lava-Lout Island full of EXTERMINATOR DRAGONS, Hiccup's ARCH ENEMY is also lurking - and he's seeking REVENGE! How to Train Your Dragon is now a major DreamWorks franchise starring Gerard Butler, Cate Blanchett and Jonah Hill and the TV series, Riders of Berk, can be seen on CBeebies and Cartoon Network.
How to Train Your Dragon: Book 2 (How To Train Your Dragon Ser. #2)
by Cressida CowellRead the HILARIOUS books that inspired the HOW TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGON films! Hiccup Horrendous Haddock the Third is a smallish Viking with a longish name. Hiccup's father is chief of the Hairy Hooligan tribe which means Hiccup is the Hope and the Heir to the Hairy Hooligan throne - but most of the time Hiccup feels like a very ordinary boy, finding it hard to be a Hero. When a huge, six-and-a-half-foot floating coffin with the words BEWARE! DO NOT OPEN THIS COFFIN arrives, can you guess what happens next?The Quest to discover the treasure of Hiccup's ancestors begins and Hiccup needs to find it before Alvin the Treacherous gets his hands on it. But when a dragon called the Monstrous Strangulator is thrown into the mix, things are about to get seriously SCARY.***Please note this ebook is TEXT ONLY and does not include the illustrations that appear in the printed book.***READ ALL 12 BOOKS IN THE SERIES!You don't have to read the books in order, but if you want to, this is the right order:1. How to Train Your Dragon2. How to Be a Pirate3. How to Speak Dragonese4. How to Cheat a Dragon's Curse 5. How to Twist a Dragon's Tale6. A Hero's Guide to Deadly Dragons7. How to Ride a Dragon's Storm8. How to Break a Dragon's Heart9. How to Steal a Dragon's Sword10. How to Seize a Dragon's Jewel11. How to Betray a Dragon's Hero12. How to Fight a Dragon's FuryHow to Train Your Dragon is now a major DreamWorks franchise starring Gerard Butler, Cate Blanchett and Jonah Hill and the TV series, Riders of Berk, can be seen on CBeebies and Cartoon Network.
How to Train Your Dragon: Book 11 (How To Train Your Dragon Ser. #11)
by Cressida CowellRead the HILARIOUS books that inspired the HOW TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGON films! Hiccup Horrendous Haddock the Third is a smallish Viking with a longish name. Hiccup's father is chief of the Hairy Hooligan tribe which means Hiccup is the Hope and the Heir to the Hairy Hooligan throne - but most of the time Hiccup feels like a very ordinary boy, finding it hard to be a Hero. High up in the treacherous mists of the Murderous Mountains, Hiccup and the Company of the Dragonmark are in hiding. The witch's Spydragons are guarding the shores of Tomorrow - but Hiccup is determined to become King of the Wilderwest. Can Hiccup dodge the dragons and steal the King's Things back from Alvin before the Doomsday of Yule? And is there a traitor in Hiccup's camp who in the end will betray them all?How to Train Your Dragon is now a major DreamWorks franchise starring Gerard Butler, Cate Blanchett and Jonah Hill and the TV series, Riders of Berk, can be seen on CBeebies and Cartoon Network.
How to Train Your Dragon: Book 8 (How To Train Your Dragon Ser. #8)
by Cressida CowellRead the HILARIOUS books that inspired the HOW TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGON films! Hiccup Horrendous Haddock the Third is a smallish Viking with a longish name. Hiccup's father is chief of the Hairy Hooligan tribe which means Hiccup is the Hope and the Heir to the Hairy Hooligan throne - but most of the time Hiccup feels like a very ordinary boy, finding it hard to be a Hero. Whilst searching for his lost friend Camicazi, Hiccup and the Hooligan Tribe have ended up on Uglithug Island. Now UG, the most brutal King in the World, sets Hiccup the Impossible Task. He must venture to the Isle of Berserk to pass his test or DIE trying. And all while being hunted down by an old enemy with a dark secret about the Lost Throne... Can Hiccup find Camicazi, and succeed in his task?How to Train Your Dragon is now a major DreamWorks franchise starring Gerard Butler, Cate Blanchett and Jonah Hill and the TV series, Riders of Berk, can be seen on CBeebies and Cartoon Network.