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It Takes a Family (Northbridge Nuptials #6)
by Victoria PadeFAMILY MATTERSSmall-town cop Luke Walker smelled trouble the moment Karis Pratt arrived on his doorstep, claiming the baby she held in her arms was his. Luke had been devastated once before when Karis’s sister left town with the daughter she confessed his. And though his mind and his heart had every reason to be skeptical, Luke soon realized that Karis was nothing like her impetuous sister. From birth, the little girl who could be his daughter had gripped his heart in her tiny fist and wouldn’t let go. Was it possible that these two females could ultimately be his...to have and to hold?
It Was a Dark and Stormy Night: The Best from the Bulwer-Lytton Contest
by Scott Rice"The camel died quite suddenly on the second day, and Selena fretted sulkily and, buffing her already impeccable nails--not for the first time since the journey began--pondered snidely if this would dissolve into a vignette of minor inconveniences like all the other holidays spent with Basil." <P><P> The Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest-- named in honor of Victorian literary has-been and renowned whist player Edward Bulwer-Lytton-- is the world-famous competition that seeks to find the most atrocious opening sentence to a hypothetical lousy novel. Abounding in shameless sentences, this is a hilarious-- even perversely instructive-- collection of skilled ineptitude. <P><P> <P><P>A few heroic entries: <P><P> * "Safeway wasn't open when Keegan pulled his Chevy into the lot, its valves chattering, gun-blue cracked-ring smoke sputtering from its tail pipe, to get eggs." <P><P> * "I was a fifty-four-year-old male virgin but I'm all right now." <P><P> * "The surface of the strange forbidden planet was roughly textured and green, much like cottage cheese gets way after the date on the lid says it is all right to buy it."
It Was a Dark and Stormy Night: Yet More of the Best (?) from the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest
by Scott RiceThe Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest has been calling for entrants to write an opening sentence to a hypothetical horrible novel for many years. Based on the entries in this fourth installment of It Was a Dark & Stormy Night, the depths are still to be plumbed. Enjoy these hilarious and yet awful first sentences and even worse rotten writing advice.
It Was an Ugly Couch Anyway: And Other Thoughts on Moving Forward
by Elizabeth PassarellaA collection of refreshingly honest and hilarious essays from Southern Living columnist Elizabeth Passarella about navigating change--whether emotional or logistical--and staying sane during life's unexpected twists and turns.After Elizabeth Passarella and her husband finally decided that it was time to sell their two-bedroom apartment in Manhattan, she found herself wondering, Is there a proper technique for skinning a couch? The couch in question was a beloved hand-me-down from her father--who had recently passed away--and she was surprisingly reluctant to let the nine-foot, plaid, velour-covered piece of furniture go. So, out came the scissors. She kept the fabric and tossed the couch.We've all had to make decisions in our lives about what to keep and what to toss--habits, attitudes, friends, even homes. In this new collection of essays, Elizabeth explores the ups and downs of moving forward--both emotionally and logistically--with her welcome candor and sense of humor that readers have come to love. She enters into a remarkable (and strange) relationship with an elderly neighbor whose apartment she hopes to buy, examines her own stubborn stances on motherhood and therapy, and tries to come to terms with a family health crisis that brings more questions than answers. Along the way Elizabeth reminds readers that when they feel stuck or their load feels heavy, there is always light breaking in somewhere.It Was an Ugly Couch Anyway will make readers laugh, cry, and feel a little less alone as they navigate their own lives that are filled with uncertainty, change, and things beyond their control.
It Wasn't Always Easy, But I Sure Had Fun: The Best of Lewis Grizzard
by Lewis GrizzardFrom the book: On March 20, 1994, the day Lewis Grizzard died-America lost an important and opinionated and angry and loving and controversial voice. Worst of all, it lost a funny voice, a voice that saw the absurd and hilarious side of everyday life-from the battle between the sexes to the hypocrisy of political blather to the all important differences between good ol' Georgia bulldog-rooting Southerners and Harvard-attending Yankees. If Lewis Grizzard fought for anything, he fought for Americans to keep their sence of humor. He railed against political correctness-largely because it is nearly impossible to smile and to be politically correct. He ranted and raved against what he called the Thought Police-because it is surely not possible to laugh when someone is telling you what to think and how to act. There have been few writers whose points of biew were as personal and as direct as Lewis's.. Yet, there are few writers who have been as misunderstood as Lewis was. Yes, he was fierce in his beliefs, but Lewis didn't care if you shared his opinions. He was more interested in making his readers think. Or shaking them up. Or just plain getting them teed off. If he had to express an outrageous opinion to do so, so be it. It Wasn't Always Easy, but I Sure Had Fun, is a book of outrageous opinions, in fact it's full of Lewis Grizzard's most outrageous opinions. It is the book Lewis was working on when he died. It contains what he thought represented the best of the last decade of his writing. Over the years, there was nothing that Lewis shied away from talking-sex, Politics, culture, men, women, mothers, fathers, dogs, honor, racism, the past, the present, or the future. And rarely has there been a writer whose own presence so dominated his writing. So when you're reading this book, you're not just reading what Lewis Grizzard thought, you're reading what Lewis Grizzard was. As Lewis final word, It Wasn't Always Easy but I sure Had Fun is a fitting tribute. And yes, Lewis, we do promise that even without you to remind us, we will somehow manage to ignore the Thought Police and keep on laughing. Other books by Lewis Grizzard are available from Bookshare.
It Wasn't Me
by Chris AddisonLook around you. The world is going to hell. Standards have fallen, values have been pawned, young people think 'innit' is a word and decent, honest citizens can't walk down the street without being set upon by an exploding terrorist or globally-warmed to death. We need to pick ourselves up. We need to rebuild this Once Great Nation. But, most of all, we need to be sure it's all somebody else's fault.
It Wasn't Me
by Chris AddisonLook around you. The world is going to hell. Standards have fallen, values have been pawned, young people think 'innit' is a word and decent, honest citizens can't walk down the street without being set upon by an exploding terrorist or globally-warmed to death. We need to pick ourselves up. We need to rebuild this Once Great Nation. But, most of all, we need to be sure it's all somebody else's fault.
It Wasn't Me! (Billy Bonkers #3)
by Giles AndreaeA secret prankster is causing mayhem around town, and everyone keeps pointing the finger at Billy! Can Billy use his detective skills to unmask the cunning culprit once and for all?
It Wasn't My Fault (Read-aloud)
by Helen Lester Lynn Munsinger"Lester and artist Munsinger . . . team up again for another rib-tickling, off-the-wall tale." -BooklistMurdley Gurdson is a spectacularly accident-prone boy. He falls into wastebaskets! He drops only the most valuable vases. Worse yet: "Whatever happened, it was usually his fault." One day, as Murdley is taking a walk, a bird lays an egg above him and it splats on his head. How could that really be Murdley's fault? Turns out, it sort of is. Munsinger's hilarious illustrations help make this silly story about cause and effect as lighthearted as it is useful. This read-aloud favorite is now part of a fun hardcover series about life lessons. This ebook includes audio narration as well as a code for free downloadable audio.
It is Not Now: Tales of Maine
by John GouldIt is Not Now is collection of stories based upon real life, as well as a reflection on lost ways and changing values. It is a celebration of the eccentric people and lives of small towns all across Maine. Gould's wise, charming, and irreverent writing, honed by half a century of acute observation and practice of his craft, brings the American past to life even as it finds humor and hope in the American present.
It's A Boy Girl Thing
by Anne FinnisIf you've ever wondered what boys really think of girls and what girls really think of boys, this is your chance to find out. Do boys think girls have a better dress sense? Do girls think boys are better at maths and science? And who has the most disgusting habits? Packed full of opinions, from the ridiculous to the frighteningly spot-on, this book might make you mad, it might make you laugh out loud and it will certainly surprise you.
It's A Long Story, Doctor! (The Dr Clifford Chronicles)
by Dr Robert CliffordIn this hilarious omnibus edition of There You Are, Doctor!, On Holiday Again, Doctor? and You're Still a Doctor, Doctor!, we follow everybody's favourite G.P. as he encounters eccentric patients and extraordinary complaints galore.In his charming and delightful style, Dr Robert Clifford brings out the colourful side of medicine, introducing us to Miss Peabody, the elderly spinster ever hopeful of pools to win, and William Jessop, the blind man with a difference! Getting away from it all is not quite the relaxing, welcome break a doctor hopes for as he deals with gastro-enteritis in Marrakesh and kidney stones in Sahara - and the same could be said for the joy of retiring; it seems Dr Bob will always be on call!There's never a dull moments in his company; at home or abroad, his humour and philosophy are a tonic for all.
It's All About the Small Things: Why the Ordinary Moments Matter
by Melanie ShankleIn It's All About the Small Things—formerly titled Church of the Small Things—Melanie Shankle helps you embrace what it means to live a simple, yet incredibly meaningful life and how to find all the beauty and laughter that lies right beneath the surface of every ordinary, incredible day.Is my ordinary, everyday life actually significant? Is it okay to be fulfilled by the simple acts of raising kids, working in an office, and cooking chicken for dinner?It's been said, "Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the number of moments that take our breath away." The pressure of that can be staggering as we spend our days looking for that big thing that promises to take our breath away. Meanwhile, we lose sight of the small significance of fully living with every breath we take.Melanie Shankle, New York Times bestselling author and writer at The Big Mama Blog tackles these questions head on. Easygoing and relatable, she speaks directly to the heart of women of all ages who are longing to find significance and meaning in the normal, sometimes mundane world of driving carpool to soccer practice, attending class on their college campus, cooking meals for their family, or taking care of a sick loved one.The million little pieces that make a life aren't necessarily glamorous or far-reaching. But God uses some of the smallest, most ordinary acts of faithfulness--and sometimes they look a whole lot like packing lunch.
It's All Absolutely Fine: Life is complicated, so I've drawn it instead
by Ruby ElliotIT'S ALL ABSOLUTELY FINE is a darkly comic, honest and unapologetic account of daily struggles with mental health and what it's like trying to be a person when you feel like a potato. This book walks readers through the ups, downs and sideways of life, illuminating very real problems, all with Ruby's trademark originality and humour. It's an empowering book that will make you think, make you laugh, and make things that little bit more ok.
It's All In The Frijoles: 100 Famous Latinos Share Real Life Stories Time Tested Dichos Favorite Folkta
by Yolanda NavaCollected folktales, lullabies, poems, sayings, and dichos from well-known and beloved Latin figures, both past and present—from actor Edward James Olmos and author Isabel Allende to Nobel laureate Octavio Paz and Saint Teresa de Avila.Do you wish you could remember all the words to the childhood songs your grandmother taught you, so you could sing them to your children? Have you ever found yourself repeating the dichos, or proverbs, your parents used to lecture you with? If you are looking for a way to get back in touch with your culture, It's All in the Frijoles is the perfect start. A treasure trove of cherished folktales, lullabies, poems, and dichos, this rich collection of Latino wisdom includes inspiring recollections and anecdotes by well-known and beloved figures, both past and present -- from actor Edward James Olmos and author Isabel Allende to Nobel laureate Octavio Paz and Saint Teresa de Avila. It's All in the Frijoles is certain to evoke with fondness many a childhood memory of essential teachings learned from parents and grandparents, including: El hombre debe ser feo, fuerte, y formal. A man should be homely, hardy, and honorable. El consejo de la mujer es poco y él que no lo agarra es loco. The advice of a woman is very scarce and the person who does not heed it is crazy. Pueblo dividido, pueblo vencido. A people divided, a people conquered. It's All in the Frijoles captures and perpetuates the essence of Latino tradition and is destined to become a family treasure that is passed down from generation to generation. This legacy of wisdom provides food for thought not only for Latinos but also for people of all other ethnic backgrounds.
It's All Relative: A Novel
by Rachel MageeShakespeare's famous comedy, A Midsummer Night's Dream, gets a modern retelling in a lighthearted women's fiction novel that proves 'the course of true love' (and the merging of families, for that matter) 'never did run smooth.'Helena's a "fly by the seat of her pants" kind of girl. Amelia's got her perfect life planned down to the minute. How will they ever get through their parents' wedding--let alone a life as stepsisters--without ripping each other apart?Twenty-seven-year-old Helena Crosby is over her mom Nora's wedding--and it hasn't even happened yet. For months, Helena's been dreading the day she and Nora would become part of The Perfects, aka the Maddox family, led by oldest perfect daughter Amelia. Her complete opposite in every way, Amelia owns a house, runs her father's architecture firm, and is engaged to her also perfect (and dreamy) fiancé Gage, all before the age of thirty. Helena has no idea how she's going to fit into this family with their fancy traditions and strict timetables. Thankfully, her best friend Landon is joining the festivities as her emotional support plus one--and the perfect buffer between her and her new family.Amelia Maddox has spent months planning the perfect wedding week for her dad Steve and his bride-to-be Nora. She'd planned for every consistency . . . except for her new free spirited stepsister's deadly shellfish allergy, her brother's insistence on blowing up his life, and an unexpected guest on Helena's arm. A guest she hasn't seen in years. A guest who held her heart years before her fiancé Gage ever did . . . her ex Landon Blake. But no matter--Amelia's kept the Maddox family together since her mother died a few years ago. She's not going to be thrown by Landon's deep blue eyes and sun-bronzed forearms and the way he makes her feel all warm and cozy, like she's come home to herself. Nope. She has duties to attend to: being the best daughter, sister, fiancée, boss, and wedding coordinator. And she's going to bring her Eldest Daughter Energy to it all and push down those inconvenient feelings, no matter what.Through a whirlwind week of wedding activities and a few near disasters, both Amelia and Helena realize that sometimes the blueprints for the perfect family and relationship look better on paper than in real life--and that family isn't only made of the people you're born with. Family is also made of the people we choose over and over again.
It's All Relative: Adventures Up and Down the World's Family Tree
by A. J. Jacobs#1 New York Times bestselling author A.J. Jacobs undergoes a hilarious, poignant quest to understand what constitutes family—where it begins and how far it goes—in It&’s All Relative, a &“thought-provoking…delightful, easy-to-read, informative book&” (Kirkus Reviews, starred review).A.J. Jacobs has received some strange emails over the years, but this note was perhaps the strangest: &“You don&’t know me, but I&’m your eighth cousin. And we have over 80,000 relatives of yours in our database.&” That&’s enough family members to fill Madison Square Garden four times over. Who are these people, A.J. wondered, and how do I find them? So began Jacobs&’s three-year adventure to help build the biggest family tree in history. In It&’s All Relative, he &“muses on the nature of family and the interconnectedness of humanity in this entertaining introduction to the world of genealogy&” (Publishers Weekly). Jacobs&’s journey would take him to all seven continents. He drank beer with a US president, sung with the Mormon Tabernacle Choir, and unearthed genetic links to Hollywood actresses and real-life scoundrels. After all, we can choose our friends, but not our family. &“Whether he&’s posing as a celebrity, outsourcing his chores, or adhering strictly to the Bible, we love reading about the wacky lifestyle experiments of author A.J. Jacobs&” (Entertainment Weekly). Now Jacobs upends, in ways both meaningful and hilarious, our understanding of genetics and genealogy, tradition and tribalism, identity and connection. &“Whimsical but also full of solid journalism and eye-opening revelations about the history of humanity, It&’s All Relative is a real treat&” (Booklist, starred review).
It's All Relative: Adventures Up and Down the World’s Family Tree
by A.J. JacobsA.J. Jacobs has received some strange emails over the years, but this note was perhaps the strangest: &“You don&’t know me, but I&’m your eighth cousin. And we have over 80,000 relatives of yours in our database.&” And so begins A.J. Jacobs&’s quest to build the biggest family tree in history. In an era of us-versus-them thinking, this book is a hilarious, heartfelt and profound exploration of what binds us all – where family begins, how far it goes, and the science that is revolutionizing the way we think about ethnicity, history and the human species. This book is about A.J. Jacobs&’s family. But it&’s also about your family. Because it is the same family.
It's All Relative: Two Families, Three Dogs, 34 Holidays, and 50 Boxes of Wine (A Memoir)
by Wade RouseHow come the only thing my family tree ever grows is nuts?" Wade Rouse attempts to answer that question in his blisteringly funny new memoir by looking at the yearly celebrations that unite us all and bring out the very best and worst in our nearest and dearest. Family is truly the only gift that keeps on giving--namely, the gifts of dysfunction and eccentricity--and Wade Rouse's family has been especially charitable: His chatty yet loving mother dresses her sonas a Ubangi tribesman, in blackface, for Halloween in the rural Ozarks; his unconventional engineer ofa father buries his children's Easter eggs; his marvelouslyMartha Stewart-esque partner believes Barbie is his baby; his garage-sale obsessed set of in-laws areconvinced they can earn more than Warren Buffett by selling their broken lamps and Nehru jackets; hismutt Marge speaks her own language; and his oddball collection of relatives includes a tipsy Santa Clauswith an affinity for showing off his jingle balls. In the end, though, the Rouse House gifted Wade with love,laughter, understanding, superb comic timing, and a humbling appreciation for humiliation. Whether Wade dates a mime on his birthday to overcome his phobia of clowns or outruns a chubchasing boss on Secretary's Day, he captures our holidays with his trademark self-deprecating humor and acerbic wit. He paints a funny, sad, poignant, andoutlandish portrait of an an all-too-typical family that will have you appreciating--or bemoaning--yourown and shrieking in laughter.From the Hardcover edition.
It's All Right Now: A Novel
by Charles ChadwickMeet Tom Ripple, a man with an uncommon outlook on his common life. Through the vividness of his voice and his growing sense of the sorrow and absurdity of the world, Tom Ripple becomes an unusually appealing antihero, aware of his ordinariness and the limits of his intelligence, with a ribald sense of humor, and a clumsiness in his attempts at emotional connection with others. He is a bewildered everyman navigating his way through modern times. By turns poignant, funny, heartbreaking, and profound, It's All Right Now is a towering achievement and a singular work of the imagination.
It's All Your Fault (Scholastic Press Novels)
by Paul RudnickOne last chance. One wild weekend. Flat out the funniest book of the year."Paul Rudnick makes me lie hysterical on the floor, screeching with laughter and sobbing with fury that I can't write the way he does." -- E. Lockhart, author of We Were Liars and The Disreputable History of Frankie Landau-BanksMy name is Caitlin and up until forty-eight hours ago I had never:Tasted alcohol, kissed a boy, sang in public at the top of my lungs, kidnapped anyone or -- WHAT? STOLEN A CONVERTIBLE?Now I'm in jail and I have no idea what I'm going to tell:The police, my parents, the mayor, all of those camera crews and everyone on Twitter.I have just noticed that:My nose is pierced and I have-WAIT? IS THAT A TATTOO?I blame one person for this entire insane weekend:My famous cousin.Who is also my former best friend.Who I have HATED for the past four years.Who I miss like crazy. NO I DON'T!!!!IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT, HELLER HARRIGAN!!!!
It's All Zoo: A Paris Love Story
by Gerald A. BrowneNew York Times–bestselling author Gerald A. Browne&’s stylish debut novel about a pair of unlikely lovers in 1960s Paris It&’s not the prostitutes who are keeping Lillian awake. She may share her apartment building with a bordello, but the sounds that seep through the walls do not bother her. Ever since her boyfriend left her, taking her heart and all her clothes, the Paris nights have been unbearable. And so she takes refuge in the only place she can be herself: Sascha&’s, where the insomniacs of Paris go to drink, dance, and fall in love. There&’s Mr. Bread, a slumming millionaire. There&’s Big Red and Elsa, a couple who can always be relied on for a good time. And now there&’s Graham, a hopelessly square American whom Lillian decides to take under her wing. As the days and nights of swinging Paris spin into a blur, this gang of romantic expats must fight to stay together, or risk coming apart at the seams.
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia: The 7 Secrets of Awakening the Highly Effective Four-Hour Giant, Today
by The GangCharlie, Mac, Dennis, Sweet Dee, and Frank attempt their most ill-conceived, get-rich-quick scheme yet: publishing a “self-help book.”The Gang may have finally found their golden ticket. Left alone to close down Paddy’s Pub one night, Charlie Kelly inadvertently scored himself, and his friends, the opportunity of a lifetime—a book deal with a real publishing company, real advance money, and a real(ly confused) editor. While his actual ability to read and write remains unclear, Charlie sealed the deal with some off-the-cuff commentary on bird law and the nuances of killing rats (and maybe with the help of some glue fumes in the basement with an unstable editor on a bender). While The Gang is stunned by the news, and the legally binding, irrevocable contract left on the bar, they are also ready to rise to the task and become millionaires—and of course, help Charlie actually write the book.In their own inimitable voices, Charlie, Mac, Dennis, Sweet Dee, and Frank weigh in on important topics like Relationships, Financial Success and Career, Fashion and Personal Grooming, Health and Diet, and Survival Skills, providing insane advice, tips, tricks, and recipes (Rum Ham anyone?) as only they can.Fans of It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia rejoice and welcome the most influential work in the history of the written word (or at least since the script for The Nightman Cometh): The 7 Secrets of Awakening the Highly Effective Four-Hour Giant, Today.
It's Been a Pleasure, Noni Blake: A Novel
by Claire Christian"A vibrant story of self-discovery...sure to capture readers' hearts."—Publishers Weekly, starred reviewA sparkling, feel-good tale about starting over, for anyone who's spent too much of their own life making other people happy.What if you made yourself your number one priority?Of all the women and men Noni Blake has pleased in her life, there&’s one she&’s often overlooked—herself. After the end of a decade-long relationship, Noni decides it&’s time for that to change. She&’s finally going to prioritize her wants and desires and only do things (and people) that feel good in the moment.As she embarks on a pleasure-seeking quest that takes her halfway around the world, she discovers that maybe she can have everything, and everyone, she&’s ever wanted.Effortlessly hilarious and relatable, Claire Christian spins a fresh, uplifting story about starting over as a thirtysomething woman who&’s been living life for everyone else. A story of self-discovery for the ages, Noni&’s journey serves as a reminder that life is what we make of it—so why not enjoy it?"Funny, refreshing and empowering."—Lindsey Kelk
It's Beginning To Look A Lot Like Christmas: An unforgettable, laugh-and-cry romcom for lovers of festive made-for-TV movies
by Hayley DunlopCan life be like a made-for-TV Christmas movie? Mally Allister prides herself on being nice and predictable, just like the trope-filled festive films she turns to for comfort every winter. But when she faces the prospect of spending Christmas alone in her London flat, Mally is sent on a writing assignment to try to recreate the cheesy Christmas movie experience in her humdrum British hometown. With the help of familiar faces from her formative years, including her teenage crush Tom, Mally starts ticking off the classic holiday romance movie tropes in unexpected ways. But can real life ever live up to the magical movie experience? A gorgeously warm, engaging festive romcom perfect for fans of Catherine Walsh and Josie Silver.