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It's Not Me, It's Them: Confessions of a hopeless modern romantic - THE SUNDAY TIMES BESTSELLER
by Joel DommettAs a 17-year-old virgin working . . . for Virgin, Joel Dommett has grand ambitions. Firstly, he is going to swap suburbia for the bright lights of Showbiz. Secondly, he is going to find 'the one' in the first forty people he's going to sleep with. What follows is a series of disastrous romantic encounters, including carpets mistaken for toilets, futile grand gestures and the catfishing to end all catfishing. Featuring genuine teenage diary entries and told in Joel's trademark self-deprecating style, this is the brilliant first book from the UK's most exciting comedian.
It's Not Me, It's Them: Confessions of a hopeless modern romantic - THE SUNDAY TIMES BESTSELLER
by Joel Dommett'Effortless humour and bucketloads of charm. It's impossible not to be bowled over by the ending. Most definitely my favourite celebrity memoir in a long time. Brilliant.' - THE SUN**The hilarious debut from I'm A Celeb star Joel Dommett (Live at the Apollo, 8 Out of 10 Cats, Impractical Jokers), for fans of Joe Lycett, James Acaster and Sarah Millican**As a 17-year-old virgin working . . . for Virgin, Joel Dommett has grand ambitions. Firstly, he is going to swap suburbia for the bright lights of Showbiz. Secondly, he is going to find 'the one' in the first forty people he's going to sleep with. What follows is a series of disastrous romantic encounters, including carpets mistaken for toilets, futile grand gestures and the catfishing to end all catfishing. Featuring genuine teenage diary entries and told in Joel's trademark self-deprecating style, this is the brilliant first book from the UK's most exciting comedian.
It's Not Me, It's Them: Confessions of a hopeless modern romantic - THE SUNDAY TIMES BESTSELLER
by Joel DommettAs a 17-year-old virgin working . . . for Virgin, Joel Dommett has grand ambitions. Firstly, he is going to swap suburbia for the bright lights of Showbiz. Secondly, he is going to find 'the one' - and sets himself the very achievable target of finding her in the first fifty people he's definitely going to sleep with. What follows is a series of disastrous romantic encounters, including carpets mistaken for toilets, futile grand gestures and the catfishing to end all catfishing. Featuring genuine teenage diary entries and told in Joel's trademark self-deprecating style, this is the brilliant first book from the UK's most exciting comedian.(P)2018 Headline Publishing Group Ltd
It's Not Me, It's You
by Alex LightThe snark and instant chemistry of Better Than the Movies meets the indulgent summer fun and family hijinks of The Summer of Broken Rules in this compulsively readable rom-com from Alex Light, author of The Upside of Falling.Jackie Myers is a fraud. Or she might be a genius—the jury’s still out.The thing is, she secretly runs pleasebreakmyheart, a gone-viral account aimed at breaking hearts and ending relationships…. And she just used it to break up her insufferable eternal nemesis's picture-perfect relationship.Wilson is the buttoned-up, type A assistant manager of her nightmares—but it turns out he’s also, apparently, a really great boyfriend.So with her conscience (and paycheck) on the line, Jackie decides there’s only one thing to do: She’s going to help Wilson win his ex-girlfriend back. Which should be easy, considering Jackie hates him…right?
It's Not Me, It's You (Point Ser.)
by Stephanie Kate StrohmA laugh-out-loud look at one girl's epic dating history, as told by her friends, family, and foes!Did you hear...?NATALIE WAGNER, random freshman: Avery Dennis--the Avery Dennis--got dumped right before prom.COCO KIM, best friend: Avery has never been dumped! Well, okay, except for this one time.BIZZY STANHOPE, officially the worst: The head of the prom committee doesn't have a date to the prom. It is beyond pathetic. JAMES "HUTCH" HUTCHERSON, lab partner: Did Avery really swear off dating until she discovers why her relationships never work out? I'll believe that when I see it.ROBBY MONROE, ex-boyfriend: Did you get interviewed by Avery Dennis for her project?TRIPP GOMEX-PARKER, ex-boyfriend: Avery Dennis is straight-up interviewing everyone.AVERY DENNIS: recently dumped/topic of much gossip: Okay. Everyone is talking about it, so let's talk about it...From rising star Stephanie Kate Strohm, this is a laugh-out-loud look at one girl's epic dating history, as told by her friends, family, and foes.
It's Not Me, It's You: Subjective Recollections from a Terminally Optimistic, Chronically Sarcastic and Occasionally Inebriated Woman
by Stefanie Wilder-TaylorStefanie Wilder-Taylor has never been one to take the easy, conventional route. In her latest work It’s Not Me, It’s You, she unabashedly showcases a life well lived, ignoring all wisdom, but yet somehow, coming out on top. Combining her trademark biting wit and straightforward common sense, the anticipated comedic memoir delivers outrageous tales from all periods of her life and family history. From Taylor’s outlook on working hard (audition for a game show instead) to getting her husband to propose (forget The Rules: try nagging and physical violence) these stories venture beyond daycare, sure to entertain both parents and non-parents alike. Covering a wide range of topics that explore the anxiety, frustration, and exhaustion that accompany the rewarding, comical, awe-inspiring, and life-altering roles of parent, teenager, wife, and daughter, It’s Not Me, It’s You offers readers an escape, empathy, and plenty of laughs.
It's Not My Fault I Know Everything (Dear Dumb Diary #8)
by Jim BentonNew York Times Bestselling author Jamie Kelly is back with another hilarious, candid, and sometimes not-so-nice diary!Dear Dumb Diary,I went back and read some of my very oldest diaries. The entries say things like "I eated salad dressing" and "I got a Barbie shoe stuck in Stinker's nose again" and "The vet was mean to me about the Barbie shoe so I tried to bite him but vets are quick at not getting bit because dogs try all the time but dogs don't usually kick so I did that."What amazed me was just how dumb I used to be, considering how smart I am now. There must have been a day when I just woke up smart.
It's Not My Fault!
by Jory JohnThe New York Times bestselling author of The Bad Seed and The Good Egg takes a lighthearted approach to how to respond to the all-too-common claim "It's not my fault!"Emotional literacy is embedded in this funny cautionary tale:Why is your homework so messy?It's not my fault! I blame my pen.Why can't I read these test answers?I blame my pen.Why is your assignment so late?Um...I blame my pen?A boy steadfastly refuses to take responsibility for any of his mistakes. He just blames everything on his pen, his backpack, his comb, his pillow--whatever happens to be at hand. For a while, this approach works at home and at school. He's positively convinced he has it all figured out until...all the inanimate objects rise up and revolt. What can he do when a talking pen and talking backpack decide to rebel?The #1 New York Times bestselling picture-book author Jory John encourages kids to accept responsibility while keeping the laughs coming in this fun-filled tale.
It's Not My Fault: 150 Hilarious Excuses Every Tennis Player Should Know
by Peter Bodo Joshua ShifrinIn It's Not My Fault, author Joshua Shifrin helps tennis players make sense of their most monumental losses on the court. The next time a player goes down in defeat, he or she can always explain the woeful loss with "My opponent was a pusher . . . I can't play against pushers." Or after a bad shot, tennis gurus might try to get out of dodge by uttering, "There was a leaf on the court and I couldn't concentrate." Shifrin has crafted 150 funny--but all-too-real--excuses for pros and amateurs alike. Examples include: My opponent's grunting is distracting. My strings are too tight. I have tennis elbow. These tennis balls are too slow. Any many more! Whether you want to motivate your friends or family who have just started playing or eradicate embarrassing mistakes in your own game, It's Not My Fault is a must-read. Complete with laugh-out-loud cartoons, this book makes for the perfect gift.
It's Not News, It's Fark
by Drew CurtisNow in paperback, the hilarious exposé on the media gone awry, from the creator of the wildly popular Fark. comHave you ever noticed certain patterns in the news you see and read each day? Perhaps it's the blatant fear-mongering in the absence of facts on your local six o'clock news ("Tsunami could hit the Atlantic any day!" Everybody panic!), or the seasonal articles that appear year after year ("Roads will be crowded this holiday season. " Thanks, AAA. ) It's Not News, It's Fark is Drew Curtis's clever examination of the state of the media today and a hilarious look at the go-to stories mass media uses when there's just not enough hard news to fill a newspaper or a news broadcast. Drew exposes eight stranger-than-fiction media patterns that prove just how little reporting is going on in the world of reporters today. It's Not News, It's Fark examines all the "news" that was never fit for print in the first place, and promises to have you laughing along the way.
It's Not Rocket Science: And other irritating modern cliches
by Clive Whichelow Hugh MurrayOver last thirty years, new technology, fashion, and social set-ups have spawned new cliches galore. Everything on the Internet is available at the 'click of a mouse', TV presenters ask the audience to 'give it up' when they want them to applaud, call centres tell us 'we value your call' even though 'all our operators are busy'. And if you're 'gobsmacked' by all this you may be told to 'get a life', 'chill out' or 'whatever'. It's Not Rocket Science sifts through all aspects of modern life to find the most prevalent, ubiquitous and downright irritating cliches of our age. This high-octane, caffeine-fuelled, dictionary of cliches highlights the freshly-hackneyed phrases we're being subjected to 24/7. So how good is that? And what's not to like?
It's Not That I'm Bitter . . .: Or How I Learned to Stop Worrying About Visible Panty Lines and Conquered the World
by Gina BarrecaIn a world where eye cream is made from placenta, Gina Barreca is the lone voice calling out "But wait, whose placenta is it?" She asks the crucial questions: Why is there no King Charming? Why does no bra ever fit? Why are there no tutus in XL? Why do more intelligent women have trusted psychics than have trusted financial advisors? While she definitely wants everyone to know that she's not bitter, Gina does want to know why no one realizes that Anne Bancroft was only thirty-six when she played Mrs. Robinson, the quintessential cougar. In "It's Not That I'm Bitter..." Gina shouts out her message to women everywhere: "You are smart enough to conquer the world, so please stop weeping when you try on bathing suits at T.J. Maxx." As Gina declares "The world lies to us and we want to believe. We want to believe that, if we wear a pair of palazzo pants with a latex escape hatch built into the stomach area, we'll appear five pounds slimmer instantly… We torture ourselves, even though we are smart broads." In deliciously quotable essays on the ability of both chin hairs and tweezers to affect your life, the reason every woman believes she's crazy, the possibility that the "glass ceiling" may just be a thick layer of men, and thoughts on intimate conversations she'd have with Michelle Obama, Hillary Clinton, Cindy McCain and Sarah Palin, Barreca gleefully rejects the emotional torture, embraces the limitless laughter, and shows other women how they can conquer the world with a sharp wit, good shoes and not a single worry about VPLs.
It's Not a Bed, It's a Time Machine (It's Not a Book Series, It's an Adventure)
by Mickey RapkinIn It's Not a Bed, It's a Time Machine, a clever picture book by Mickey Rapkin and Teresa Martinez, a young boy anxious for bedtime discovers his bed is a time machine! Bedtime means lights out, with dark corners and spooky sounds. But it also means . . . Adventure! Because it’s not a bed, it’s a time machine. Our hero rides it to the coolest time of all—the age of the dinosaurs. He makes a tyrannosaurus-sized friend, who helps him become the Boss of Bedtime.While tonight’s sleep will span millions of years, it’ll feel like it’s over in the blink of an eye.An Imprint Book“Where the Wild Things Are meets Harold and the Purple Crayon with an imagination that's brand new....These are illustrations that deserve to be explored again and again.” —Kirkus Reviews“Dreamlike ... the simple story and colorful illustrations successfully combine to spark readers’ imaginations.” —School Library Journal
It's Not a Cult: A Novel
by Lauren DanhofMona Awad's All's Well meets Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt in Lauren Danhof's darkly humorous debut, in which a daughter races to save her mother from a dangerous cult before it's too late.Glinda Glass is truly trying her best. After dropping out of her graduate school program, she moves back to her childhood home with her mom—who has not only joined a cult, the Starlight Pioneer Society, but has also become enraptured by its charismatic and menacing leader, Arlon. Meanwhile, Glinda spends her days working in the Drench-the-Wench dunk booth at the local Renaissance fair with her only friend Troy—who may be falling in love with her.When Glinda learns that the cult will be turning her family&’s home into their commune, she decides to take matters into her own hands—by infiltrating the cult and taking it down from the inside. There, she realizes things are far more sinister than she could have ever imagined and that she must get her mom out from under the spell of Arlon by any means necessary.But Glinda can&’t do it on her own; to save her mother, she&’ll have to confront her own history of trauma and grief and repair her relationships with her sisters and Troy, no matter the cost.
It's Not a School Bus, It's a Pirate Ship (It's Not a Book Series, It's an Adventure)
by Mickey RapkinA boy overcomes his first-day-of-school fears by imagining It's Not a School Bus, It's a Pirate Ship! Set sail on the high-seas with him in this picture book adventure by writer Mickey Rapkin and illustrator Teresa Martinez! The first day of school means the first ride on the school bus. But who will I sit with? What if no one talks to me? Luckily this isn’t a school bus, it’s a pirate ship!And this crew has one motto: “One for all and all for FUN!” So set sail on a voyage across the high seas! And prepare to make some pirate buddies along the way in this adventure about overcoming your anxiety.An Imprint Book “Rapkin and Martinez build on the imaginative fun of It’s Not a Bed, It’s a Time Machine . . . Martinez’s whimsical flights of fancy fill the illustrations to bursting. Imagination conquers fear yet again.” —Kirkus Reviews
It's Now or Never: A feel-good and funny read from the Sunday Times bestseller (The Books of Babel)
by Carole MatthewsTHE FEEL-GOOD NOVEL FROM THE MULTI-MILLION-COPY-SELLING AUTHORTwo sisters. One important birthday. A year of taking chances. When twins Annie and Lauren attend their older sister Chelsea's fortieth birthday party at the Dorchester Hotel, they wonder why their lives are so different. Chelsea's husband is twirling her round the dance floor, while Annie's husband has gone fishing and Lauren's lover is at home with his wife and children. Annie and Lauren decide it's time to make a change and turn their lives around, it's time they starting living for again. But have they left it too late? It's now or never.YOUR FAVOURITE AUTHORS LOVE CAROLE MATTHEWS:'A life-affirming story full of joy and hope' CATHY BRAMLEY'A sun-filled, fun-filled wonderful escapist adventure' MILLY JOHNSON'A wonderful setting where dark clouds part to reveal a happy ending' KATIE FFORDE'An irresistibly warm-hearted story' TRISHA ASHLEY'Warm, witty and hopeful - I was charmed' SARAH MORGAN'The queen of funny, feel-good fiction' MIKE GAYLE
It's Now or Never: A feel-good and funny read from the number one Kindle bestseller
by Carole MatthewsA classic Carole Matthews with a brand-new look. ---------------Two sisters. One important birthday. A year of taking chances. When twins Annie and Lauren attend their older sister Chelsea's fortieth birthday party at the Dorchester Hotel, they wonder why their lives are so different. Chelsea's husband is twirling her round the dance floor, while Annie's husband has gone fishing and Lauren's lover is at home with his wife and children. Annie and Lauren decide it's time to make a change and turn their lives around, it's time they starting living for again. But have they left it too late? It's now or never. Praise for Carole Matthews: 'An absolute joy' Milly Johnson'A gorgeous novel that will delight' Katie Fforde'Warm, witty and hopeful - I was charmed' Sarah Morgan
It's Now or Never: A feel-good and funny read from the number one Kindle bestseller
by Carole MatthewsA classic Carole Matthews with a brand-new look. ---------------Two sisters. One important birthday. A year of taking chances. When twins Annie and Lauren attend their older sister Chelsea's fortieth birthday party at the Dorchester Hotel, they wonder why their lives are so different. Chelsea's husband is twirling her round the dance floor, while Annie's husband has gone fishing and Lauren's lover is at home with his wife and children. Annie and Lauren decide it's time to make a change and turn their lives around, it's time they starting living for again. But have they left it too late? It's now or never.Praise for Carole Matthews: 'An absolute joy' Milly Johnson'A gorgeous novel that will delight' Katie Fforde'Warm, witty and hopeful - I was charmed' Sarah Morgan
It's Okay to Be a Unicorn!
by Jason TharpAn inspiring picture book, Jason Tharp’s It’s Okay To Be A Unicorn! features a unicorn pretending to be a horse—until he learns to embrace his true self.Cornelius J. Sparklesteed is known among all the other horses in Hoofington for his beautiful and creative handmade hats. But Cornelius is hiding a secret under his own tall, pointy hat: He’s really a unicorn.Hoofington is a friendly place, but its horses pass on lots of mean rumors about unicorns. When Cornelius is chosen to perform for this year’s Hoofapalooza, will he find the courage to show everyone his unicorniness?It's Okay To Be A Unicorn! is an inspiring story about the rainbow magic of kindness.An Imprint Book“Tharp's good-natured fable is bright and rainbow-y . . . will resonate with any who have felt 'other.'” —Kirkus Reviews
It's Okay to Laugh: (Crying Is Cool Too)
by Nora McInerny Purmort“Thank you for the perfect blend of nostalgia-drenched humor, wit, and heartbreak, Nora.” — Mandy Moorecomedy = tragedy + time/roséTwenty-seven-year-old Nora McInerny Purmort bounced from boyfriend to dopey “boyfriend” until she met Aaron—a charismatic art director and comic-book nerd who once made Nora laugh so hard she pulled a muscle. When Aaron was diagnosed with a rare form of brain cancer, they refused to let it limit their love. They got engaged on Aaron’s hospital bed and had a baby boy while he was on chemo. In the period that followed, Nora and Aaron packed fifty years of marriage into the three they got, spending their time on what really matters: Buffy the Vampire Slayer, each other, and Beyoncé. A few months later, Aaron died in Nora’s arms. The obituary they wrote during Aaron’s hospice care revealing his true identity as Spider-Man touched the nation. With It’s Okay to Laugh, Nora puts a young, fresh twist on the subjects of mortality and resilience. What does it actually mean to live your “one wild and precious life” to the fullest? How can a joyful marriage contain more sickness than health? How do you keep going when life kicks you in the junk? In this deeply felt and deeply funny memoir, Nora gives her readers a true gift—permission to struggle, permission to laugh, permission to tell the truth and know that everything will be okay. It’s Okay to Laugh is a love letter to life, in all its messy glory; it reads like a conversation with a close friend, and leaves a trail of glitter in its wake.This book is for people who have been through some shit.This is for people who aren’t sure if they’re saying or doing the right thing (you’re not, but nobody is). This is for people who had their life turned upside down and just learned to live that way. For people who have laughed at a funeral or cried in a grocery store. This is for everyone who wondered what exactly they’re supposed to be doing with their one wild and precious life. I don’t actually have the answer, but if you find out, will you text me?
It's Okay to Smell Good!
by Jason TharpJason Tharp’s It's Okay to Smell Good, the follow-up to his hit picture book It’s Okay to Be a Unicorn, introduces the new, hilarious character: Panda Cat, who lives in a world where smelling bad is a good thing!Panda Cat begins each day by brushing his teeth with garlic toothpaste, combing rotten eggs through his hair, and enjoying a breakfast of spoiled milk and a rotten apple. In Smellville, it’s cool to be stinky.But when he tries to invent the stinkiest smell ever for the science fair, it backfires—because it smells good. And Panda Cat . . . likes it? How will he tell his friends? Or his hero, Albert Einstink—the scientist behind the theory of stinkativity? It’s Okay to Smell Good tells kids young and old that you’re free to like what you like, no matter how it smells.An Imprint BookPraise for It’s Okay to Smell Good:“Tharp's good-natured fable is bright and rainbow-y . . . will resonate with any who have felt “other.”” —Kirkus Reviews
It's One Thing After Another!: For Better or For Worse 4th Treasury (For Better Or For Worse Ser. #39)
by Lynn JohnstonSince its debut in 1979, For Better or For Worse has touched comic strip readers as few cartoons ever do. Lynn Johnston's eye for detail and her uncanny sense of what real parents and children struggle with daily are a big part of her success. The comic strip now appears in 1,550 papers in the U.S. and Canada. Read by people of all ages, the award-winning For Better or For Worse deals honestly with both the light-hearted and the serious, and to many readers, the Pattersons feel like family!
It's Only Drowning: A True Story of Learning to Surf and the Search for Common Ground
by David Litt* A GOODREADS MOST ANTICIPATED BOOK OF SUMMER 2025 * A TOWN & COUNTRY BEST BOOK OF SUMMER 2025 * A former Obama speechwriter moves to the Jersey Shore and learns to surf with the help of his brother-in-law: a tattooed, truck-driving Joe Rogan superfan. David, the Yale-educated writer with a fear of sharks, and Matt, the daredevil electrician with a shed full of surfboards, had never been close. But as America&’s crises piled up and David spiraled into existential dread, he noticed that his brother-in-law was thriving. He began to suspect Matt&’s favorite hobby had something to do with it. David started taking surf lessons. For months, he wiped out on waves the height of daffodils. Yet, after realizing that surfing could change him both in and out of the water, he set an audacious goal: riding a big wave in Hawaii. He searched for an expert he could trust to guide and protect him—and when he couldn&’t find one, he asked Matt. Together, they set out on a journey that spanned coasts, and even continents, before taking them to Oahu&’s famously dangerous North Shore. It&’s Only Drowning is a laugh-out-loud love letter to surfing—and so much more. It&’s an ode to embarking on adventures at any age. It&’s a blueprint for becoming braver at a time when it takes courage just to read the news. Most of all, it&’s the story of an unlikely friendship, one that crosses the fault lines of education, ideology, and culture tearing so many of us apart.
It's Only Stanley
by Jon AgeeFans of Jon Klassen and Oliver Jeffers will love this mischievously funny read-aloud from award-winning author/illustrator Jon AgeeMysterious noises keep waking up the Wimbledon family. "That's very odd," says Mr. Wimbledon each time, but when he returns from checking on the sounds, he's always reassuring: "It's only Stanley; he's fixing the oil tank." "It's only Stanley; he's clearing the bathtub drain."But what Stanley the dog is actually doing while his oblivious family goes back to bed is deliciously absurd: he's turning the house into a rocket ship to zoom himself and his family to another planet for an alien encounter. This is a perfect rhyming read-aloud for fans of irreverent tales like Click Clack Moo and I Want My Hat Back.
It's Only Stanley (Into Reading, Read Aloud Module #2)
by Jon AgeeNIMAC-sourced textbook <P><P>Fans of Jon Klassen and Oliver Jeffers will love this mischievously funny read-aloud from award-winning author/illustrator Jon Agee <P><P>Mysterious noises keep waking up the Wimbledon family. "That's very odd," says Mr. Wimbledon each time, but when he returns from checking on the sounds, he's always reassuring: "It's only Stanley; he's fixing the oil tank." "It's only Stanley; he's clearing the bathtub drain." <P><P>But what Stanley the dog is actually doing while his oblivious family goes back to bed is deliciously absurd: he's turning the house into a rocket ship to zoom himself and his family to another planet for an alien encounter. This is a perfect rhyming read-aloud for fans of irreverent tales like Click Clack Moo and I Want My Hat Back.